That guy on the right looks like he's smoked a joint before going to work that day.

This picture or one similar was actually banned in an English school recently for being too upsetting for kids.

You're right. Anyway, I've heard there's a fourth evil dead in the pipeline.
Know anything about it, anybody?

Make them watch The Village over and over again and repeat "It's a horror movie, it's a horror movie, it's a horror movie..."

You could always tie up and lay someone a couple inches over some bamboo sliced at a very broad angle. That is after you've ripped out there finger and toenails with rusty pliers.

I'd read them the entire Twilight Saga while putting sticking a hot cocktail fork into them every few minutes.

This part alone is just cruel and inhumane. Don't torture them with the rest.

Not so sure.
I think the poking of hot forks would be a sort of comfort whilst being read to

In the words of Alex from A Clockwork Orange "IT'S A SIN! IT'S A SIN!"

disembowelment Hanibal Lecter style would be pretty amusing, but anyone could do it that way. It would have to employ some form of cauterization so they wouldnt bleed out, and of course their own genetalia. hell maybe even your own.Or it could be something simple like running them through an old cotton gin. Then again broken bones are excruciatingly painfull and wont kill..... Hey, come to think of it I have some work I need done at my house, if anyone is interested in making a little extra cash on the side let me know.