OM NOM NOM

OMG, thank you! That's one of the cutest damn things I've seen in a while.

I totally agree with this.
We all have our issues with our parents..some as more dramatic as others..from abuse to total neglect..
however its not right to always blame these things on your life sucking all the time.
I blame nobody for my misery as its up to me to move on.
As much as I hate this time of the year..I refuse to make it an unhappy occasion for those around me...as far as em concerned..i can wallow in my own self pity but I still have those loved ones whose christmas I do not want to ruin it for those or rain on thier parade.

I'm sorry you're going through a rough time Mikey. It'll get better, hang in there. Life sucks sometimes, but when it gets better, you appreciate it more cuz of how much it sucked before. Sounds kinda cliche, but I've found it to be true.

I think it's perfectly normal to get the blues during the holidays, it happens to a lot of people. When you have crappy stuff happening in your life, it makes it worse. The week of Thanksgiving, I was a mess. I kept trying to focus on the positive and blah blah blah, all the stuff I tell other people to do. But I was sad as hell, I even got physically ill. When I get really stressed out, I get severe stomach problems. But this past week has been a lot better.

Try to keep busy, it helps, even if you have to force yourself to get up and do stuff. Keep talking to people. If you need to just be by yourself for a couple of days, that's fine, sometimes that helps too. But don't let it go on for more than a couple of days or you may get stuck and it's a hard hole to crawl out of.

Take care of yourself man.

of course it is

my word is law:D

[QUOTE=stubbornforgey;766457]I blame nobody for my misery as its up to me to move on.
[QUOTE]

This is probably the bravest thing I've yet read on this forum. I'm really sorry that your circumstances have really sucked lately, but I sincerely aplaud you for being honest and frank and inspiring.

I think you might be jumping the gun in saying that.
See, I don't hate religion...I just don't subscribe to any presently...
I don't hate Christmas, but I hate what it currently entails to a lot of people.
I don't hate any family members...there are just some of those that I'd rather avoid so as to leave issues behind and not have them bought up to continue any given cycle.
I don't hate holidays, but I hate crowds.
Don't much like flashing lights.
But my holiday season, so to speak, does not suck - I would say that it might suck a little moreso if I was hanging with folks that there had to be some kind've pretense going on (eg - the church thing) but then I don't live to make others happy, and would feel a bit more like I was privately insulting those that are in fact, part of the religion as a "serious" thing.

That said, I agree with you to the point that anyone not having a particularly "good time" should whine about it, just do something else, or sleep through it. Enjoy it like any other day/s off. Don't let it matter to you.

Re - Hatred over past incidents.
Nobody can really go ahead and say whether or not a person is justified in hating someone...in some cases there's been no kind of resolution, in some cases really, REALLY bad, deceitful and abusive things have been done.
People don't hate easily, but I would say that if the situation warrants it to the person in question, it's more of a reactionary thing, maybe not one someone can control - often these kinds of acts will completely change the way you see a person, revealing the kind of properties that you do in fact dislike and would rather not be exposed to...for a parent.family member to have done anything like that, the feeling can be all the more.
If you despise something someone did/said to you, and feel as though you'd be compromising your own value system to continue communication...it makes sence not to.
Some things can be forgiven, some can not. Simple.
Sometimes time will "heal", sometimes actions on the part of the anyone involved can find resolution or redemption...but again, sometimes not.
If you haven't been in the situation when you literally can't or won't bring yourself to forgive and forget, then you can't really comment.
Because your opinion, your personal tolerance levels, your truth, your way of dealing with things isn't necessarily right for everyone, just right for you.
I'm an easygoing guy, but I'm not about to be anyones fool, and I would never think that poorly of my own judgement to back down on something like this...because it wouldn't "make me a better person", it would make me something I'm not.
If you say you've been there, and you DID forgive and forget...well, you just haven't really been there after all, your perspective/life may have allowed you to move on...some would rather avoid any further incident or pain.

It's not like a person that "hates" someone is going around letting it rule their life...it's not as though it takes a great deal of effort like some seem to assume...people don't just walk around full of hate with all those around them, that's absolutely wrong. You can find happiness with the "bad parts" erased, hell, maybe some people feel like they'd just be pretending any other way.

Said enough on all that I think...just to point out that even though you may have a difference of opinion, it doesn't invalidate the other - what's "necessary" is completely subjective case by case.

Christmas itself - I view as a time when a lot of folks have time off, and you're all able to spend a few hours together with those that matter.
A chance to do some relaxing cooking, and get some drinkage goin' on.
Usually go with a BBQ myself.

gee Phalanx you're on a roll! Kick some knowledge at em! :D

you'd understand it a whole lot better if you met mine. I'm not going into details because i hate drama on the forum - lets just say that no one else who could understand it either - had the lights go on once they met mine.

i never cared for christmas much because of that ... and i wouldnt care much for it now if it wasnt for my son. I do enjoy the parts of christmas that revolve around him - our immediate family ...

but i hate the commercialism of christmas .. i know people think it's cool to day that - but i really fucking hate it. i hate the expectations, the one upmanship, the bullshit games... i hate 90% of the music, i cant stand the houses that are decorated like they're trying to win an asshole contest - i hate the fact that everyone thinks you have to love christmas or you're the devil.


i like the time off - spent with my wife and kid
i like seeing him open presents
i like seeing some friends around that time..

that's what i focus on - and i'm pretty sure that's healthy


thats about it though.. i think the rest of it is insanity.
fucking rude fuckers pushing and shoving in the malls...
crazy hight suicide rate ...


people build such high crazy fucking expectations around this one bullshit day that most are disappointed and cant handle it.


oh yeah - and i really fucking hate christmas sweaters and santa hats !!!!