I agree with everything said in this thread so far.

In relation to what has been going on recently, however, it's hard to fix the problem without fighting it out. When two people strongly believe they are doing the right thing, how do you discern who is to blame, and who deserves punishment.

I know the point here is to not name names but since Festered and I are on okay terms now that our issues have been put in the open I feel I can use us as an example:

I honestly thought that I was being helpful and giving a voice to what people were frustrated about in hopes that everyone could take it as criticism, try to change and move on. It wasn't my place to do so and I'm saying right now that I apologize to Festered, Nella and the forum in general for escalating, if not starting this mess. I like making people happy, and I like giving advice. The internet is a tricky thing and you can take the way something is written any way you want. I can honestly say I didn't start off trying to cause harm. I have also stated a few times that I was looking for a fight the night of NEs thread because I needed someone to lay blame on. It was wrong.

I also see all of you as close friends. I don't see how you could expect less after years of talking to you people. So I defend you when you don't have a chance to do so yourself, and am quick to back you up. I have learned to choose my words more wisely when doing so in the future.

What it comes down to is that I didn't think I was the cause of the incident. Festered truly believed he wasn't the reason this whole thing blew up either. Things were said by both of us that really hurt but we set that all side and know that as adults we need to set an example from now on.

EDIT:Festered is giving his input on the situation tomorrow after a good night's sleep. I'm not speaking for him, just making generalizations.

Sorry brother, I like the idea but I'm not all sunshine and cupcakes. I can be an ass, in real life and online I say what I feel and that's it. If people don't like that, too fuckin' bad, but I think MOST of the time I'm civil and sometimes even helpful. I don't know why it seems everybody want this place to be a flower planting, group hugging, emotional supportive fucking love fest but I couldn't stand that shit. I'm all for getting along but I'm not singin' any Partridge Family songs.

yeah, really.

I think I know what you're getting at. Because at the moment, it seems people want no arguments whatsoever. I think they can be helpful. But only about the right things. If there is a new member who is doing outright stupid and annoying things, they need to be told they are annoying people. But not totally bashed and have personal insults thrown at them.

If a regular member here begins saying things about their beliefs or just opinions and they escalate to the point they are being cruel and not respecting others, they need to be told. I think I agree mainly with what everyone has said, but it can't all be friendly, just constructive, respective and hopefully, for the most part, self controlled. Because that is what most of it has been about. Self restraint.

But I'm confident we can get out of this negative patch. We always do, and we're stronger for the experience.

I was scanning through some threads and I noticed that both Nella and Festered have been banned. They might return, but I'm pretty sure they won't. I'm not that pleased about it, I thought they were both okay at times, but I suppose, since they're the center of the troubles, it had to be done. It's always a shame when a member is banned...especially since Nella was starting to get better.

LOL

Hear, hear!

well - first i am not an asshole - i am a monkey (i thought we'd established that).

second, i'd say part of the issue for me is people who come to HDC for like a week and then start creating chaos and then won't let it go. i think the longer you are here the more 'good will' and latitude you build up. so, if I, for instance, starting being really argumentative and negative I would hope that - after almost four years on HDC - i would get a bit of latitude in my behavior and some private messages asking what's up and why don't you chill out. but if someone is on the forum for just a few weeks or months then you haven't bulid up the good will necessary to put up with crap.

i'm not a big anti-noob person (I'll leave that to my buddy DinD) but - you should get familiar with the flow before trying to imprint your obnoxious opinions on the place

so that's my obnoxious opinion!

It's no secret I didn't get a long with Festered but he was a contributor and I think his loss is worse than Nella's. Either way, those two being gone doesn't hurt anything and after this post you certainly won't see me mention either of them. I've now washed my memory of those things.

Festered picked way to many fights but i did like nella. I think a fresh start is a good idea. :) I've said and done some things on here that were very stupid and immature and i apologize i like pretty much everyone on here i say pretty much because i dont exacly know everyone on here but i know your all good people. I hope we can put everything behind us and definatly start over new.

My ignore function has been very useful the past few months. Though I am rarely here anymore.