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Let's start with grammar, spelling and sentence structure before tackling narrative prose. |
and pushing all rational thoughts aside.The darkness , that nobody knew,deep inside him resurfacing once again.For now he would stay quiet,as were his usual days.He would head back home invisible and silent to the world.But on hs way he tripped over a fallen twid which sent his dentures flying to the ground."are you ok?Can I help you with anything?" Came a womans voice.Helooked up into her unknowing eyes.Oh,yes.....oh,yes you can.....he thought to himself and smiled secretely.For who was she to ever suspect a man such as him?
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Blah!I meant fallen twig,not twid......
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ok i get it some people they dont like spelling error but instead of being mean about it, why dont you let me and any one else know what the error was so we can go back and correct it, this way sooner or later the correct spelling and error will be stuck in our head, that would be constructive critism, not bashing people.
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But i do apoligize if my posts confuses some ill try my best. Was this one a little better? |
As the old man looked at the young women he could feel the acid bubbling in his stomic. The darkness inside his demented mind was returning to polute his life. It took every thing in his power to push the filth back down. "no I'm fine, thank you" he replied to her. "your welcome, well have a nice night" she replied back smiling unknowing what atrocities he has commited in his past. It took every thing in his power not to kill her right there.
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As he watched her loan figure walk away under the shadow of the moonlight..he couldn't help but feel an overpowering sense of urgency as lust filled his groin.
''um..exucse me miss''..as he called out weakly.., hoping that the shaking in his voice wouldn't betray his motive. He watched as she stopped in her tracks as she turned towards him..he watched beneath slitted eyes as she made her way back. However, what he mistook as a friendly smile became soon apparent that she was not impressed at having her time being wasted. The last memory of her was how black her eyes seemed under the moonlight. Nobody seemed to care as the old man screamed as the beautiful stranger..reached down and gripped a hold of his throat..ripping a hole so as to expose the veins inside his neck. A group of teenagers passing by..mistook the eerie scene as some kind of love making and between them whispered..'oh you lucky old son of a bitch''.. not knowing that the woman was.......................... |
The serial killer the police have been searching for. They never assumed the killer of the teens at the park had indeed been a women. she hid her true self well, masked under beauty and sweetness, she had the perfect cover. Her job in the day time was a libaryian at the center for the arts, but at night she was free to be her self, in her mind she was a goddess, and humanity was there for her pleasure. she new this man had died a very honnorable death by her hands. If he only let her pass dident bother her with his manly needs....
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