not really dirty but


there was this preacher every sunday morning he would stand
outside the church doors and say "OPEN THEM DOORS OPEN THEM WIDE LET THE SPIRITS FLOW INSIDE"! well that went on for awhile finally the drunk who resided near the church got tired of it and walked over there with a brick in hand while the preacher chanted OPEN THEM DOORS OPEN THEM WIDE LET THE SPIRITS FLOW INSIDE, the drunk rared back to throw the brick the preacher shouted CLOSE THEM DOORS CLOSEM QUICK THAT MOTHERFUCKERS GONNA THROW A BRICK!!!!!! :o

What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.

This beautiful young parapalegic was sitting in her wheelchair gazing sadly at the ocean when a young man walked by. "Why do you look so sad?" he asked. The young woman said with a tear"I've never been kissed." "Well I can take care of that" the young man said and kissed her gently, walking away pretty pleased with himself. The next week, there was the same girl in her wheelchair staring sadly at the ocean. "Now why do you look so sad?" he asked. She sniffled and said " I've never been fucked"
"Well, I can take care of that too" he said. He picked her up out of her wheelchair, carried her gently to the end of the pier and threw her off, screaming "Now you're fucked!!!"

not 'dirty' but,


how do you fit 6,000,000 Jews into a Volkswagon?

In the ashtray

How do you fit 5 comedians in a Volkswagon?
Four in the seats and Richard Pryor in the ashtray.

How many homosexuals does it take to put in a light bulb?








Only one...but it takes an entire Emergency Room to get it out.

How many hampsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.

What do you give an 80 year old lady for her birthday?







Mikey... He'll eat anything :)

Mickey and Minnie Mouse were at their divorce lawyer's office.
THe lawyer says to Mickey:
"So you want a divorce because Minnie is crazy?"

Mickey replies, "No, I said I want a divorce because she is fucking Goofy!"