a man walks into a bar and sees a big jar full of money. he asks the bartender what its for and he says "I have a horse in back, if u make him laugh you can have the money." the man goes out back and the horse starts busting up laughing. the bartender was surprised but gave him the money.
a month later the man went back into the bar and the jar was full again. he asked the bartender what he had to do to win the money this time and the bartender said, "make my horse cry."
so the man makes the horse cry. the bartender gave him the money then says, "ok many have tried to make my horse laugh and then you do it in a matter of seconds, then many tried to make it cry. How did you do it?"

The man replied, "first I told him my dick was bigger than his, then i showed him.":)

Joke
 

Three guys die and stand before the gates of haven. St. Peter has the day off and is replaced by an angel who does not know the ropes. He looks around and calls the first guy forward. If you can give me an example of Christmas, you can go in. The guy thought a moment and pulled his keys out and shook them. Jingelbells he said. The Angel said cool, go on in. He brought the next guy forward with the same proposel.The guy thought for a moment, took out his lighter and flicked it on. The Christmass star he said. Fine, the Angel said, go on in. The last guy came forward and receved the same proposel. He thought a moment, reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of thong panties, Carols, he said.

Mental Institution


In a mental institution a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient acting like hes driving a car.

The nurse asks him, "Charlie, what are you doing?"

Charlie replies, "Driving to Chicago!"

The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.

The next day the nurse enters Charlies room just as he stops driving his imaginary car and asks,

"Well, Charlie, how are you doing?"

Charlie says, "I just got into Chicago." "Great," replies the nurse.

The nurse leaves Charlies room and goes across the hall into Bobs room,

and finds Bob sitting on his bed furiously masturbating.

Shocked, she asks, "Bob, what are you doing?"

Bob says, "Im screwing Charlies wife while hes in Chicago"

how do you fit 6 million fags into a stationwagon?

in the ashtray

A Steelers fan used to amuse himself by scaring every Browns fan
He saw strutting down the street in the obnoxious orange, brown and
White colors. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, and swerve back
Just missing them.

One day, while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would
do a good deed, and he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you
Going Father?" "I'm going to give mass at St. Joseph's church, about 2
Miles down the road," replied the priest. "Climb in, Father! I'll give you
A lift!" The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and they
Continued down the road.

Suddenly, the driver saw a Browns fan walking down the road, and
He instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, he swerved
Back onto the road just in time.

Even though he was certain that he had missed the guy, he still
Heard a loud "THUD." Not understanding where the noise came from, he
glanced in his mirrors but still didn't see anything. He then remembered the
priest, and he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry Father, I almost
hit that Browns fan."

"That's OK," replied the priest, "I got him with the door."

one day a man was sitting on his porch and saw a kid walking down the street with some chicken wire.
the man asks, "whatcha doin with that there chicken wire?"
the boy resplies, "I'm gunna catch me some chickens."
"how you gunna catch chickens with chicken wire?" the man asks.
the boy says, "you'll see."
after a whle the boy comes walking back up the street with some chickens.

The next day, the man was sitting on his porch and the little kid comes walking down the street with some duct tape.
the man asks, "watcha doin with that there duct tape?"
the boy replies, "I'm gunna catch me some ducks."
the man asks, "how are you gunna catch ducks with duct tape?"
the boy replies, "you'll see."
after a while the boy comes walking back up the street with some ducks.

the next day the man was sitting on his porch and the little kid comes walking down the street with some pussy willow.
the man says "hold on let me get my shoes!!!"

HEY LEAVE THE JEWS BE!!!!!!!!

...I am Jewish...

so am i, i'm a fag too before you(Nana) get into that. lol

whoa, a Jew-mo. Are you black, too?