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urgeok 03-12-2005 03:24 AM

Re: bored
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Marroe
So I'm sharing bullshit emails from my Mom.....again

a joke

A man goes into a lawyer's office and says, "I heard people have sued the tobacco companies for giving them lung cancer, and McDonald's for making them fat."
The lawyer says, "Yes, that's true."
The man says, "Well, I'm interested in suing too."
The lawyer says, "Okay, McDonald's, or the tobacco companies?"
The man says,

"Neither I'm suing Budweiser for all the ugly people I've slept with."


i got the same one yesterday

barbra 03-12-2005 10:31 AM

my dead granny had that jesus bumper sticker
It would be cool to have like 50 or so of the
"cant feed them dont breed them" to tag up my town

ShankS 03-12-2005 11:24 AM

what do you call a chicken and a hot coal?

































bbq.

ItsAlive75 03-12-2005 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ShankS
what do you call a chicken and a hot coal?


bbq.

That's just kinda describing the parts of a barbecue...

barbra 03-12-2005 11:43 AM

um...
why did thepot head cross the road
he was chasing the chicken

barbra 03-12-2005 11:46 AM

virgin priest
 
The parish priest needs his house painted so he offers the job to one of his altar boys. The first day the kid paints the entire inside of the house, he's sweating like hell but eventually gets it finished. The priest commends him on the work and with a flourish hands him 50p. The boy looks at the coin and says to the priest, "Thanks very much Father, you're a virgin".

The priest is a bit startled but makes no remark. Next day the boy has to paint the outside of the house; it's a really hot day and he just manages to finish the job without collapsing. The priest looks at the job and this time gives the lad a pound coin. Once again the lad looks at the coin and says, "Thanks very much Father, you really are a virgin".

At this stage the priest decides to take action. "Tommy," he says, "that's twice you called me a virgin. Do you have any idea what the word means?"

"Yes" says the brat, "a tight c*nt."

barbra 03-12-2005 11:49 AM

was jesus a jewish black irish woman
 
PROOF THAT JESUS WAS...

...Jewish:

1. He went into his father's business.
2. He lived at home until the age of 33.
3. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure he was God.

...Irish:

1. He never got married.
2. He never held a steady job.
3. His last request was a drink.

...Puerto Rican:

1. His first name was Jesus.
2. He was always in trouble with the law.
3. His mother did not know who his father was.

...Italian:

1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with every meal.
3. He used olive oil.

...Black:

1. He called everybody brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

...Californian:

1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

But the most compelling evidence of all - proof that Jesus was a WOMAN:

1. He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2 . He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. Even when he was dead, He had to get up because there was more work for him to do.

ShankS 03-12-2005 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ItsAlive75
That's just kinda describing the parts of a barbecue...
I like my chicken burnt like coal

barbra 03-12-2005 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ShankS
I like my chicken burnt like coal
chicken jerky

newb 03-12-2005 08:27 PM

Re: bored
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Marroe
So I'm sharing bullshit emails from my Mom.....again

a joke

A man goes into a lawyer's office and says, "I heard people have sued the tobacco companies for giving them lung cancer, and McDonald's for making them fat."
The lawyer says, "Yes, that's true."
The man says, "Well, I'm interested in suing too."
The lawyer says, "Okay, McDonald's, or the tobacco companies?"
The man says,

"Neither I'm suing Budweiser for all the ugly people I've slept with."

hmmm....should I be insulted....this is my wife.
http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/media/1/36.jpg


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