The Nightmare Before Christmas
Paranormal Activity The Marked Ones

THE CONJURING 2 2016

Fairly underwhelmed.

The Conjuring 2 (2016)

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>>: A


Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)

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>>: C


Hardcore Henry (2015)

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>>: B-

The Darkness 2016
Kill Bill

The Neon Demon (2016)

Director Nicolas Winding Refn returns to the big screen with his lesbian cannibal necrophiliac thriller The Neon Demon that got one of Cannes infamous "boos" (which realistically means nothing). There's also this whole thing about the modeling industry too. Elle Fanning plays Jesse, a 16 year old aspiring model in LA, gets signed by an agency for her natural beauty and youth. However, as she quickly rises through the ranks, other models start to become jealous and will stop at nothing to steal her beauty and youth in a world that's literally eat or be eaten. Refn can certainly stage some elaborate visuals because the entire movie is eye candy. There's a color scheme reminiscent of Suspiria, some hypnotically beautiful visual set pieces all put alongside an awesome 80's-style synth score. Refn makes a clear distinction from the high society of the modeling industry and Jesse's real life living in a run-down motel with a sleazy owner. While the modeling world has all the fantastic visuals, the real world is portrayed in a gritty way that shows that living the high life in LA might not really be as great as one might think. The actual plot is difficult to follow at points since the story sometimes takes a backseat to the visuals, but it's interesting enough and even pretty disturbing at times that it'll keep you engaged. There's a slew of crazy scenes involving cannibalism and necrophilia that more hardcore viewers might enjoy, just don't go in expecting another Cannibal Holocaust. The disturbing parts are more subtle and slow than your usual gorefest. The ending especially will either shock you or infuriate you. The Neon Demon is going to divide its audience based on if they're willing to stomach the more difficult scenes, but it's a visually stunning, often disturbing and poignant satire of the modeling industry in Los Angeles.

7/10

The Shallows (2016)

It's been a pretty dismal summer movie season with more unwanted sequels than one could imagine (who really wanted Now You See Me 2?), so it's a bit of a breath of fresh air when a fun and simple shark thriller rolls into theaters, and a surprisingly decent one at that. The Shallows is about Nancy, played by Blake Lively, a med school student and recreational surfer who travels to a secluded beach in Mexico where her late mother once surfed when she was a baby. Her alone time is ruined when she gets too far from the shore and a shark attacks her, forcing her to take refuge on a rock. Stranded two hundred yards from the shore, Nancy has to outwit the shark and try to get back to her dad and sister before becoming shark bait. In a year filled with pretentious sequels coming 15 years too late, watching a good old-fashioned non-pretentious thriller will come to a relief to many. It never takes itself too seriously, although never venturing into camp territory, and it stays suspenseful for its brief 87 minute running time. There's even a little bit of good gore thrown in there too. The Shallows is more of a survival thriller than Blake Lively vs. The Shark, so it's more suspenseful than brutal and intense. Luckily, Blake Lively gives a great performance as Nancy, a resourceful and insanely likable heroine. She's the only face on screen for about 80 minutes of the film, so it's good that she made her presence likable. The Shallows is a pure popcorn thriller: suspensful, taut and fun.

7/10

Boohoo, pov movies hurt my poor, weak eyes :P

Going to see The Neon Demon when it opens here..

Was Crazy about Only God Forgives (though I still liked it) - loved the rest of his work..How does it compare?

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The Cell
I.M.D.B.

Based on a Stephen King book? John Cusack and Samuel L. Jackson? Sounds good. Then I notice the film starts with five minutes showing how many producers are involved and I think...uh-oh.

This was not a good movie. And it's now dropped to 4.5 on IMDB to reflect that.

Avoid
5/10

To be honest the Neon Demon is the only NWR movie I've seen.

AND my brain.

Considering it's his first horror movie you are forgiven.

Pontypool 2008

I did not get around to the film because the title made me think it was a film about angry kids in the UK in the 80s. Not exactly sure why. And not that is a bad thing, but did not realize it was a horror flic. Anyway...

6/10

Saw The Shallows yesterday and thoroughly enjoyed it. 7.5/10

Hoping to see Neon Demon soon. I've found NWR enthralling and challenging (almost too challenging) since Valhalla Rising. The last two were easier to digest. I have a feeling in I'm going to miss Ryan Gosling though.

Generation Z aka The ReZort (2015)

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>>: B-

TWO EVIL EYES (1991). Had heard this was going to be four Poe stories with Carpenter and Cronenberg joining Argento and Romero, but things did not work out. Too bad as I really wanted to like this more, but dragging out two Poe stories into almost two hours is really two...er...too much. Not even the Corman flicks had this much padding. Enjoyed the Romero one pretty much, but Argento's still has me feeling he is a dazzling stylist, but his films just leave me cold. **1/2

Pontypool has a nifty premise, and sounds and looks good, but it just doesn't go anywhere passed the 1st quarter opening premise. Story needed a lot more development.

Green Room (2015)
Meh...
Well made, acting was decent enough but the story was too weak.
Didn't take long before I quit caring about the characters and what would happen.

Green Room, 2016. 6/10



Very underwhelming. Yes, it had brutal violence. Patrick Stewart was good. He wasn't in it much. I didn't give a fuck about any of band members. It wasn't a wasteful watch but I thought it would have been different.

Green Room (2015)

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In response to a decent start of a brutal captivity tale, the ending turned out quite simple & less dramatic!

>>: B

Ha! It looks like we all watched Green Room last night!

I've been looking forward to this one but it was not what I expected.

Intelligently written, 'human' characters rather than character tropes, well acted and generally well made. Unfortunately it didn't really go anywhere interesting.
7/10

RIP Anton Yelchin

Film of the year for me. I loved the 'intelligent' little nazi, the adequate BJJ and the dogs.

It was alright for me, the ending was what annoyed me. And the last 5th of the film. I enjoyed it up until it started to feel like a Doctor Who episode.

Batman Vs Superman (2016) Extended Edition +- 180 minutes.
B/C
Less worse than I expected but it's all getting a little too much. I call it the Avengers effect. Seems nearly impossible these days of making a superhero movie with only one superhero. But it's all about the expanding of the superhero universes and ofcourse, money.
I don't always mind but sometimes I'd just like to see good guy vs bad guy and his henchmen.

Why was this version even rated R? The only reason MPAA gave was "sequences of violence" which sounds like bullshit.

I vaguely remember a person getting shot in the front resulting in blood on the wall behind him. Combined with people getting executed (even though in a sterile way) and bodies being burned is probably enough for an R-Rating.

Boooo I want something to deserve its R rating. It's almost like they're using the rating as a marketing ploy.

Binge watching the Subspecies series. On Subspecies IV right now.

'Bigfoot vs Zombies' (2016)

Plot: IMDB
A scientist creates a toxic cocktail that is accidentally unleashed into the local population and a nearby police "body farm" - creating a small army of flesh-eating zombies - and only one creature of legend, a killer in his own right, can stop the growing hordes of the undead and save humanity.

Phantom's Review: Dear Gods! What a turd. There are bad movies that are fun and there are bad movies that are just bad...this one is absolutely one of the BAD ones. A guy in a gorilla suit fighting a bunch of folks wearing Halloween masks and some actors(?) spouting out brainless (no pun intended) dialogue. Avoid this film at all costs unless you're having a (really) Bad Movie Night .

Jack the Giant Slayer (2013)
5/10

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"The ancient war between humans and a race of giants is reignited when Jack, a young farmhand fighting for a kingdom and the love of a princess, opens a gateway between the two worlds."

Director Brian Singer brings you Jack in the Beanstalk. The opening begins with two separate children, and their respective parent, telling the old story of the menacing giants and the savior king. It hints of interesting mystical themes with monks seeking God and the power of heir-ship, but these themes are not explored. This opening narration, and accompanying visuals and sound, is by far the best part of the film. It's very well done. The rest of the film will make you wish they told the new story the same way... along with 10 other short stories to fill the hour and 50 minutes.

After the opening narration, it seemed like three paragraphs of story are slowly dipped on the screen, like Chinese water torture.

The giants are CG, which may have made a few scenes easier to produce, but turned out to be a horrible decision. The facial rendering of giants was both lifeless and numbing.

The story was extremely cliche for 2016. I don't know if this film was for children, adults or both, but seems to miss all those marks.

I liked Green Room myself, I have a fondness for berserk skinheads. I think they are the perfect shock troops, and should be utilized in our brutal army to crush the middle east and provide free oil for everyone, yaaaaay!

However, dogs are hurt, and that is a crying shame. Hopefully part 2 will just be nazi dogs eating people and at the end they are full and they take a nap, muzzles covered with blood and bellies full.

I saw The Shallows, I enjoyed it. It has a big shark gobbling people up, so if you like that give it a go! I think it's better than that one in the water-soaked mall and that other one where they are treading water because they forget to lower the boat ladder.

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10 CLoverfield Lane

6/10

Despite being an entertaining horror flick it had one flaw that really dragged it down. The actions. Wasn't plausible whatsoever.

How Patrick Stewart and Anton Yelchin (If you know nothing about this tragic belated talented guy watch Hearts in Antlantis and Odd Thomas) could be involved with this is a big mystery to me.

Like Deadbeat I would conclude this as underwhelming.

Carnage Park (2016)
Meh...
The female lead was ok, most of the movie looks alright, the score's decent but the story's too weak and everything else is unoriginal.

Same here, I liked it a lot. Maybe it helped that I had no idea what it was about before going in. I have it as my #4 ranked film of the year.

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Little Polar Bear 2

The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water, 2015. 7/10



Carnage Park, 2016. 8/10




I Didn't Come Here To Die, 2010. 6/10

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Urmel auf den eis

When Black Birds Fly, 2016. 7/10

Let the Right One In (original)

I usualy find it difficult to enjoy movies with kids as main characters but, because this film was so good, I was able to look past that for the most part. Maybe a teeny tiny bit slow at times, but that would be probably my only criticism. Cinematography was a m a z i n g.

8/10

A Little Bit Zombie - OK if you're looking for something silly rather than scary.