Thanks for all the feedback! But what about my other faithful readers? Monalisa, Hammerfan, Dante, Papillon Noir, Doc Faustus?

Just so I'm sure you all know, you can find the entire HDC: Corpse in Orbit HERE.

For those who were wondering...

***tumbleweed***

This is how I pictured the Lux Lucis roughly. There were certain things on here I couldn't get right. Picture it crouched a lot more and with longer claws as well as thinner.

http://i130.photobucket.com/albums/p...r/LuxLucis.jpg

I responded to the last episode (though I wasn't sure that that was very end at the time), but it was very enjoyable! Great story! I think you're writing is getting better all the time and you are wonderfully creative. I am interested to see what genre you will be tackling next! :)

Just happy to know you saw the conclusion! :)

Excellent ending. A lot of surprises, not many genre cliches. Good work, especially for your age. You should join up with a solid online writing group.

Thanks. Good to know I have the approval of a real writer! :)

What kind of writing group do you mean? Do you know any good ones?

I don't know if Critters admits underage people, but Critters is famous for being a school of hardknocks. But I couldn't do it, too much reading genre work. I can't read and critique several fantasy stories a month. Zoetrope Virtual Studio is also good. You've gotta read things there, too, but the writers know what they're talking about and won't look at you as a kid, but as a writer who needs work. If your ego can't take a bruise, steer clear of these guys. If you want an occasionally useful snugglefest, go to Writer's Cafe, but it's advice will only take you so far. What you should, however read:
On Writing Horror by the Horror Writer's Association
On Writing by Stephen King
The Art of Fiction by John Gardner (only because of your age and be careful with the exercises. They might make you want to douse the book and yourself in kerosene.)
Zen in the Art of Writing by Ray Bradbury. Because Ray is one of the best there is was and will be. Anybody who tells you Ray Bradbury sucks should be faxed to Baghdad.
Murderland Part 1: H8 by Garrett Cook...how did that get there? Ummm....
NINJA SMOKEBOMB!
*cough cough*
I'm back.
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. It's what writing looks like.
It by Stephen King
Boy's Life by Robert R. Mc Cammon
Collected Stories of Franz Kafka (for the art of extended metaphor)
Heart of Darkness by Joesph Conrad

Very informative. I'll be interested to see how tough the critique is of Zoetrope virtual studio.