like my balls





my feet dont stink

Because they're the only part of your body you wash.


I have some really good hot sauce.

T.M.O




my lingerie all match

If only you could find a man...to take all your matching lingerie off.



I'm very strange!!

Well you were conceived by the weak sperm of two slippery hillbillies who slipped and droped you on your head when you were born.

I'm tuffer than Vin Diesel

RIGHT!..when he's passed out DRUNK!




I've got a lot of DVD's.

They just keep making so many of those Barney episodes




I miss my guy...

Mostly clown porn.

I know kung fu.

But so does Keanu Reeves and look how smart he is.

I make the best crackers when I'm stonned.

you should be stoned just for making them





I am from middle earth.