should i go ahead and make my acceptance speech now? - i'm on a kind of tight schedule and, to be honest, this kind of piddly ass awards show is a waste of my valuable time. . .

oh wait. . . is the mic on?

oh, shit, uhm, i mean, uh, 'ha ha' - what a funny joke because, y'know folks, sweeping these awards, what were they called again, the horries? - yeah, well, whatever, anyway, sweeping all the awards for your little group is, and let me tell you from the bottom of my heart, it is the biggest single honor I will receive. . well today at least, unless you count the extra cheese they put on my bagel sandwich this morning without charging. . . that's right without charging me a dime.

Now, i could point out that your little awards would benefit from some kind of material 'bling bling' if you know what i mean - maybe a gift basket or a gold statue - hey, y'know real gold would make this whole thing really worthwhile. . but i digress. . .

so, anyway, now that i've got your attention i'd just like to say thanks to, well y'know all those people who are expecting to hear their name - just insert it here. and, of course, i'd like to thank all the little people, and by little people i mean you guys -- and honest to god you are kind of short, is that a membership requirement. . . but, again i digress. . .

the main point is that you had to honor someone, you chose me and i am now honored, well to some extent. . . now where's my limo

Well, penguin? Did you change the deadline? If so I missed it.

Sorry I didnt mention it sooner...May 1st just sort of crept up on me.

THE CLOSING DATE IS OFFICIALLY POSTPONED UNTIL MAY 7TH. SORRY FOR ANY CONFUSION THAT THIS MAY HAVE CAUSED.

There will be mass rioting in the streets ! The election is fixed ! The voting is tainted ! The democrats want a recount ! All is lost !
Even worse, I think the chancellor we might appoint to rule over until this is taken care of might be a Sith master. Think about it.
CK

oh - may 7th, right, then just ignore the previous until the 7th - then read it again.

No problem. Well, except that I have to wait another week, but I'll live. *Breaks down in tears* WHY?!?!?!

Damn, Zero! That's a pretty fuckin good speach! Of course I could've written a better one, but who's counting straws?

I kid. I kid. That was very clever. Very clever.

Thanks Haunted- i was hoping someone would notice my effort.

I think you should do an acceptance speech - and then at the end turn the whole audience into frogs!!

An acceptance speach? How about I write other people's acceptance speaches?

Nobody needs to be writing any speeches yet...there's still 5 days to go:p