Puncture 1 hole in you with a giant spoon.

id tie your arms and legs to four different horses and let them pull you apart.

I'd tell Oprah you were a racist/sexist pedofile, then let her book club do the rest.

I would dump spaghetti on your junk and sic a cow on you.


Then shoot you in the face with a cannon.

I'd put something covered in blood in your washing machine and when you go to investigate it, I'd put you on electrics until your mouth started frothing. Then I'd stare at you with my head tilted.

I'd steal your DNA, use it to engineer super pain sensitive mice and then put them into a gigantic cat cage.

I'd throw you to the bears, and I'm not talking about the 4 legged kind.

I would drown you in hotdog cart brine.

i'd stick a pickle up your ass and cover it in pastrami then run you naked through the new york friar's club.

Been there, done that.


What's with you and pickles, Vodstok?


Batter you in salt and make you slide down a 50 foot razor blade.