Lousy Analogies

[Stingy Jack]

Here's a fun little thread for those of you who want to get a few laughs out of people. The goal here is to come up with the worst comparison you can think of. Here's a few examples.


"She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again."

"The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't."

"McBride fell twelve stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup."

"Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze."

"Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center."

"He was as tall as a six-foot-three inch tree."

"The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease."

"John and Mary never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."

"The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon."

"Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like 'Second Tall Man'".

[Vodstok]

LOL, those are awsome :)


This thread is cool, like a penguin with a pina colada. One of those frozen ones with the parasol, not the bartles and james kind that is really just malt liquor.

[fluffho]

lol.. a few of those sounded like they were from naked gun series (gotta love ... whats his name again FUCK) LESLIE NIELSEN!

anyway heres one from Grumpier Old Men

ok what he was going to say "there are many fish in the sea, but your the only one i want to catch and hang up on the wall over my fireplace"

what he ended up saying "there are many women floating in the river, but your the only one i want to bait, catch, stuff and mount over my fireplace"

then sophia loren goes 'thank you so much'

:D

there are BUNCHES from naked gun but i havent seen them enough to remember

[Egekrusher]

Damn... I'm really good at analogies... it's hard for me to come up with a bad one, but I'll give it a shot.

"His hair was as yellow as the Yellow 5 in Mountain Dew"

"His breath smelled as bad as a donkeys bad breath"

God, this is horrible. How about some good analogies?

"His breath smelled like a camels ass"

"His ass was as hairy as a wooly mammoth"

"Her nipples were as hard as a rock"

"She was as frigid as the arctic winds"

[Vodstok]

That was as cool as a really cool thing in a refridgerator, covered in ice.

[kpropain]

LOL all those are pretty good...


It is colder than a witches tittie in the middile of alaska,while butt naked doing push ups in the snow wearing a brass bra.


It is hotter than two rats fucking in a wool sock in the middle of africa..

I'm crazier than a shit house rat...

Wait a minute that last one was true....:D

[Stingy Jack]

LoL Good ones! Here's a few more (cracks his knuckles)

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy qho went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy!" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across teh grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

The polititican was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

[Hate_Breeder]

i thought analogies are like "Cat is to dog, as rabbit is to __________" and so fourth

[Stingy Jack]

Originally posted by Hate_Breeder
i thought analogies are like "Cat is to dog, as rabbit is to __________" and so fourth

An analogy is simply a comparison, most often made to illustrate or demonstrate a point. But, you're right. On standardized tests, you will have those types of questions that are called "analogies". And, in essence, they are. A dog is comparable to a cat as a rabbit is comparable to ____________ (and here I'm going to say ... other rabbits. Dogs chase and fight cats, and I have not seen a rabbit chase and fight anything but another rabbit. It's really a sight to behold, by the way. Next time you see a couple of rabbits, whisper to one of them that the other one said something bad about him and watch the fun!)

[Hate_Breeder]

Originally posted by Stingy Jack
An analogy is simply a comparison, most often made to illustrate or demonstrate a point. But, you're right. On standardized tests, you will have those types of questions that are called "analogies". And, in essence, they are. A dog is comparable to a cat as a rabbit is comparable to ____________ (and here I'm going to say ... other rabbits. Dogs chase and fight cats, and I have not seen a rabbit chase and fight anything but another rabbit. It's really a sight to behold, by the way. Next time you see a couple of rabbits, whisper to one of them that the other one said something bad about him and watch the fun!)

HAHA ok will do! :D

[MoAshKickin]

I really didn't want to tell anybody this:

I farted once on the set of Blue Lagon.

Damn I did it im not proud

[fluffho]

a Rugrats episode where they were at the zoo

"wow.. look at it tommy. its like a stuffed animal that moves!" ~Chuckie

[Vodstok]

Finding this thread buried on the third page was crappy, like a bag full of crap being stomped on by a boot because it was on fire, but the boot had already stepped in dog crap before, so there ismore crap, and it is on fire too.

[WaR38]

Love you like a fat kid loves cake?