Funny Freudian Slips [Archive] - Horror.com Forums

bloodrayne

08-18-2004, 07:15 AM

Got any good ones?...The best one ever in our house was by Demon Seed...It went like this...

Demon Seed was playing Nightmare Creatures while eating chocolate mints....Remember the female gargoyle things in the cemetary that look like solid silver naked chicks with wings?...He was staring at them and....He says..."Hey, I didn't know that these chocolates were naked"...Of course the word "naked" was supposed to be the word "mint"...:D

I'm sure that there are tons of them for me...I'll think about it and get back to you...I know one that I have done a few times is calling Demon Seed (Alex)..."Alice"...Which really pisses him off...He always says..."I'm NOT a girl"...lol...So, I tell him..."Well, neither is Alice"...sorta:)

I know you guys have to have some good ones...

jay o2 waster

08-18-2004, 07:38 AM

Originally posted by bloodrayne
Well, neither is Alice :(

bloodrayne

08-18-2004, 07:47 AM

Originally posted by jay o2 waster
:( Awww...I said "SORTA" *that's what you get for making me sprain my wrist*...You can still fantasize...As a matter of fact, he told me that he was a girl THIS week, just for YOU ;)

jay o2 waster

08-18-2004, 07:52 AM

Originally posted by bloodrayne
Awww...I said "SORTA" *that's what you get for making me sprain my wrist*...You can still fantasize...As a matter of fact, he told me that he was a girl THIS week, just for YOU ;)
he/she really said that just for me?

bloodrayne

08-18-2004, 07:59 AM

Actually...For you, Massacre Man, AND Hate Breeder...He/she is a slut...lol

jay o2 waster

08-18-2004, 08:02 AM

Originally posted by bloodrayne
Actually...For you, Massacre Man, AND Hate Breeder...He/she is a slut...lol lol

bloodrayne

08-18-2004, 08:38 AM

Originally posted by MD2
I told a girl once she had nice "nipples" The word I was supposed to use was "dimples"

LMAO!!!! LOL...One question........Left or Right?*

*Which side of your face did you get slapped on?....:p

bloodrayne

08-18-2004, 09:04 AM

OMG...You just reminded me off the funniest thing, that ever accidenally came out of my mouth...It wasn't a Freudian slip, it was just a twisted slip of the tongue, but hilarious as hell, nonetheless...

I always read to my kids as they are falling asleep (until they think they are too old for it)...Anyway...Demon Seed was about 7 years old...I don't remember the name of the book, it was one of those 'camping in the woods' horror stories....The text was "We pitched our tents"...But, I said, "We pinched our tits"...OMG...I didn't think he was EVER going to stop laughing...I tried to play it off and just keep reading, like I didn't notice...But HE kept repeating it, until I couldn't keep from laughing...Anyway, it took an extra hour to get him to go to sleep...

ShankS

08-18-2004, 10:10 AM

I was once on an all day bender (and FYI bender means drinking binge in the Uk, so dont go getting funny ideas!)with some friends down one of the local pubs, and there was a new blond lass with big boobies working behind the bar....

.....anyway we'd had quite a few beers, and it was my turn to get the drinks in, 2 pints of which were different from everyone elses. Me being me and rather 'un' sober said whatever beers were wanted, and then asked for the other 2 saying " 2 pints of your best boobies please" instead of saying 'bitter'

I didnt even realise I'd said it, until she told me a few days later....doh!!! lol

Vodstok

08-18-2004, 10:44 AM

Not a freudian slip, but a typo rather. I had a freind in Human Resources a couple of years ago, and she invited me out for some drinks. For some reason i meant to ask if it was okay if i "popped" over, but i said "pooped".

She said no, but i could still come for drinks if i wanted to. She proceeded to call my extension and laugh at me... I have such good friends :)

Sam The Egg

08-18-2004, 12:39 PM

I was going to ask this one girl if I could borrow a pen, but what came out was "I'd like to have anal sex with you, please."

Hate_Breeder

08-18-2004, 12:42 PM

Originally posted by bloodrayne
Hate Breeder...He/she is a slut...lol

I am so rubbing my nipples right now. :cool:

Sam The Egg

08-18-2004, 12:45 PM

Originally posted by Hate_Breeder
I am so rubbing my nipples right now. :cool:

Uh, those are mine...

bloodrayne

08-18-2004, 12:47 PM

Originally posted by Hate_Breeder
I am so rubbing my nipples right now. :cool: LOL...I am so laughing my ass off right now :)

Hate_Breeder

08-18-2004, 12:48 PM

Originally posted by Sam The Egg
Uh, those are mine...

Oh my bad.

*runs away*

Sam The Egg

08-18-2004, 12:52 PM

hey, I didn't say you should stop...:p

Hate_Breeder

08-18-2004, 12:52 PM

Originally posted by Sam The Egg
hey, I didn't say you should stop...:p

HAHAHHAHAH

fluffho

08-18-2004, 09:04 PM

i know ive got plenty, probbaly some scandalous ones, but i can only remeber one

my cousin and i were watching animal planet and nigel marvin came on. either it was a hot day, or i was thinking of someone else, but i said 'oh i love nigel marvin. hes so hot"

anyway, its only funny if you know who he is.

http://www.nigelmarven.com/

KRUGERKID13

08-18-2004, 09:05 PM

he is hot i mean no

juanhacko

08-18-2004, 10:16 PM

I can remember several--one horror related.

My girlfriend's mother ask what movie her daughter and I were going to see--remember this was the early 1960's--I said "The Killer Screws". (should have been 'Killer Shrews."

I was very drunk in a bar I'd never been in before, I couldn't remember if the waitress's name was Regina or Virginia--so I called her--Vagina. (asked to leave)

Working in an employment agency--intended to ask very attractive Hispanic female if she was bilingual--ask if she was bisexual instead--luckily she laughed.

KRUGERKID13

08-18-2004, 10:18 PM

did ya do her

Wicked Lady

08-19-2004, 01:30 AM

Originally posted by juanhacko
I can remember several--one horror related.

My girlfriend's mother ask what movie her daughter and I were going to see--remember this was the early 1960's--I said "The Killer Screws". (should have been 'Killer Shrews."

I was very drunk in a bar I'd never been in before, I couldn't remember if the waitress's name was Regina or Virginia--so I called her--Vagina. (asked to leave)

Working in an employment agency--intended to ask very attractive Hispanic female if she was bilingual--ask if she was bisexual instead--luckily she laughed.
BAHAHAHAHA
nice

lol, mom, you got me laughing about that book again lmao!:D

man, I know I've said several funny things due to Freudian Slips but I can't think of any right now! WAAAAH

bloodrayne

08-19-2004, 04:29 AM

Originally posted by Wicked Lady
lol, mom, you got me laughing about that book again lmao!:DLOL...I forgot that YOU heard that one, too...I guess when I slip up, EVERYONE has to witness it...It figures... :rolleyes: :)

bloodrayne

07-03-2005, 07:54 PM

HaHa...Another one just happened...

We just got back from getting ICEEs...I noticed that our cups had game pieces on them, so it went like this:

Me: Hey guys, peel that thing off your cup and see if you won anything

Seri: Mine just says something about a cruise...What can you win that's good?

Me: Oh...Nevermind...It's just a thing for Cannibal Cruises....

Seri: Mom...I think your brain is messed up...

Everybody: *laughing*

Of course...I meant to say, "Carnival Cruises"

Elvis_Christ

07-03-2005, 09:20 PM

Originally posted by Sam The Egg
I was going to ask this one girl if I could borrow a pen, but what came out was "I'd like to have anal sex with you, please."

:D lol

urgeok

07-04-2005, 07:02 AM

i was present when this happened ...

a friend of mine went to the same girls as i did to get his hair cut.
So we both new her very well..

he called while i was at my place and asked for an appointment to get a haircut and blow job.

this is something that would be easy to laugh off now - but when this happened we were both around 17 - and he almost died of embarrasment

bloodrayne

07-28-2006, 02:59 PM

I'm bumping this just cuz it was funny...And we have so many new people now...I figured we could get some funny new stories :)

crabapple

07-28-2006, 03:50 PM

I like the scene in "Jurassic Park" with the "ride" that takes you on a tour around the laboratories, and the lawyer looks at the scientists behind the glass and asks, "Are they...auto...erotica?"

Miss Olivia

07-28-2006, 04:29 PM

I was going camping with some friends, and we were packing up the car. I was going downstairs with a last armload of stuff, and my friend's boyfriend went to hand me a flashlight. I cuoldn't get my hand free and I was going to drop stuff, so I yelled, "Just stick it in me!" I had meant to say stick it in my bag, but that's not what came out. I ended up dropping everything anyway, because everybody was rolling on the floor after that.
It's terrible what impatience will make you say.:o