Random Joke Thread

[Morningriser]

While this thread is not intended to offend anyone, it is still advised to proceed with thick skin. That shouldn't suggest not following the rules of the page though and posting anything that would be considered offensive.

Why are khaki shorts so popular among the Christian boys?

Because priests struggle more with khaki pants.

[cheebacheeba]

Went to a funeral. Widow of the deceased addressed the attendees then asked if anyone wanted to come up. I stood and asked if I could say a word and was beckoned up...I looked out at all the family and other mourners, cleared my throat and said "plethora", then headed back to my seat.

The widow stopped me on my way back, and said "Thank you. That means a lot."

[Morningriser]

::big grin::

The Little Rascals were in school one day and the teacher asks, "children, someone give me a sentence using the word "dogs". Spanky raises his hand and says, "I love dogs". The teacher Praises him and asks for someone to give a sentence using the word "respect". Alfalfa raises his hand and says, "I respect how Spanky loves dogs". The teacher praised him and then says, "somebody give me a sentence using the word "dictate". Buckwheat raises his hand and looks across the room and says, "hey Darla, how my dictate?"

[Morningriser]

Why did the cactus cross the road? Because it was stuck to the chicken.

[Morningriser]

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny farts!

**chirp chirp

No? Try this one on for size!

What do Dale Earnhardt, Princess Diane and Pink Floyd have in common? The last hit was the wall!

? ::stick out tongue::::big grin::

[Zero]

Who swings from trees & flings poop?

Monkeys - ok not a joke but it is true!!

[hammerfan]

Who swings from trees & flings poop?

Monkeys - ok not a joke but it is true!!

How ya doin', Monkey Man?

[Zero]

Hi HF!

All goes fairly well in the monkey trees. Just hanging around. Lots of travel and life changes. I still try to pop in the make wisecracks and fling poop every once in awhile.

How are things with you??

Z

[saucyjacky]

We've a terrible joke in French that I'll try to translate faithfully into English for you. If I had to suffer it, so does the rest of the world. ::wink::

What do you call a traveling pig?
A passpork!

[hammerfan]

We've a terrible joke in French that I'll try to translate faithfully into English for you. If I had to suffer it, so does the rest of the world. ::wink::

What do you call a traveling pig?
A passpork!

Groaner joke, awesome avatar!

[cheebacheeba]

We've a terrible joke in French that I'll try to translate faithfully into English for you. If I had to suffer it, so does the rest of the world. ::wink::

What do you call a traveling pig?
A passpork!

Passeporc, oui? Something like that?
Pretty rare that a joke revolving around kind of wordplay would translate so well without losing anything.
So...you're a father, then?

[saucyjacky]

Groaner joke, awesome avatar!

Thank you! It's rare to find others with an appreciation for the glory that is Phantom of the Paradise. :)

[saucyjacky]

Passeporc, oui? Something like that?
Pretty rare that a joke revolving around kind of wordplay would translate so well without losing anything.
So...you're a father, then?

That's right! The original joke is: "Comment appelle t on un cochon qui voyage? Un passeporc!" Do you speak French?

You'd think, no? I'm a 25-year-old woman, but I'm a dad at heart.

[cheebacheeba]

Little bits and pieces, yes. Not too much.
Personally I'd have changed it a little bit to "what does a pig need to travel?" but yeah.
Not that this would make the joke too much different.

We have similar languages.
I found french pretty easy to pick up...between similar word forms (though your sentence structure is a little different) and occasional phonetic pronunciations, and that I've done a little bit of culinary training largely based of classic French techniques, I guess I have picked up some words here and there.

What's your name, Jacquie?

Check this out. I enjoyed Les Visiteurs, and Haute Tension. My two favourite French films.

[hammerfan]

Thank you! It's rare to find others with an appreciation for the glory that is Phantom of the Paradise. :)

I'm old enough that I saw it in the movie theater when it was released! ::wink::