Abishai100
08-15-2016, 11:38 PM
I'm a big fan of the Jamie Blanks horror film Valentine and wish that American horror film-makers invested more in the 'dark side' of Valentine's Day, so I stirred up this little short-story about a Valentine goon.
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George sat in his Seattle apartment and looked at his little black book on a Valentine's Day that was heavy with rain. "I'm gonna strike a red line through Ashley, Joanne, Debbie, and Elisha" (girls who had all disappointed him somehow sometime). Realizing that he was a real American psycho, he decided to call himself Crossbow. Polishing his black Magnum crossbow, he finalized his murder itinerary for the night.
Detective Stabler looked over the body of Ashley Rimsdale and felt a chilly wind go through his spine. "Who would shoot a woman in the head with an arrow on Valentine's Day?" he pondered. There were no leads, but the Seattle Police Department was sure that the murder of Ashley Rimsdale was somehow connected to the murder of Joanne Thomas who was also found dead in her apartment, shot in the head with an arrow. Stabler was afforded all case liberties, since Seattle laymen and press would be in a frenzy about these two Valentine arrow killings.
George gleefully highlighted the sections of the Seattle newspaper's article about the two 'Valentine arrow killings,' and wished they knew his name was Crossbow. "Next year, it will be Debbie and Joanne who pay for the general gloom of unrequited love." George took out his copy of the King James Bible and assured himself that he was in no way a Satanist, only a Christian crusader against the hypocrisy of Valentine's Day which had nothing to do with the magic of Cupid for him.
Detective Stabler sat in the death-penalty gas room with four other witnesses as George took a seat. Stabler couldn't believe how easily he found clues that led him to George, a man who dated both Ashley Rimsdale and Joanne Thomas. Stabler knew that George (aka, 'Crossbow') was a real American psycho and hoped that no one would follow in his footsteps and darken the light of Valentine's Day in Seattle again. As he wondered about how easily he found George, the Valentine killer who was about to be executed delivered his final speech (Stabler realized the witnesses were in for a spectacle):
"You don't like me or why I call myself Crossbow. You don't want to understand why I hate Valentine's Day or why I wanted to plant fear in the hearts of the people of Seattle. I am truly sorry if my crusade seems purely psychotic to you. However, I'm glad Detective Stabler arrested me, and I wanted him to, which is why I never bothered covering my tracks with Ashley and Joanne, two harlots who perhaps did not deserve death on Valentine's Day. However, my message is simple --- love is not insured!"
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::embarrassment::
Valentine (2001 Horror Film) (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine_(film))
====
George sat in his Seattle apartment and looked at his little black book on a Valentine's Day that was heavy with rain. "I'm gonna strike a red line through Ashley, Joanne, Debbie, and Elisha" (girls who had all disappointed him somehow sometime). Realizing that he was a real American psycho, he decided to call himself Crossbow. Polishing his black Magnum crossbow, he finalized his murder itinerary for the night.
Detective Stabler looked over the body of Ashley Rimsdale and felt a chilly wind go through his spine. "Who would shoot a woman in the head with an arrow on Valentine's Day?" he pondered. There were no leads, but the Seattle Police Department was sure that the murder of Ashley Rimsdale was somehow connected to the murder of Joanne Thomas who was also found dead in her apartment, shot in the head with an arrow. Stabler was afforded all case liberties, since Seattle laymen and press would be in a frenzy about these two Valentine arrow killings.
George gleefully highlighted the sections of the Seattle newspaper's article about the two 'Valentine arrow killings,' and wished they knew his name was Crossbow. "Next year, it will be Debbie and Joanne who pay for the general gloom of unrequited love." George took out his copy of the King James Bible and assured himself that he was in no way a Satanist, only a Christian crusader against the hypocrisy of Valentine's Day which had nothing to do with the magic of Cupid for him.
Detective Stabler sat in the death-penalty gas room with four other witnesses as George took a seat. Stabler couldn't believe how easily he found clues that led him to George, a man who dated both Ashley Rimsdale and Joanne Thomas. Stabler knew that George (aka, 'Crossbow') was a real American psycho and hoped that no one would follow in his footsteps and darken the light of Valentine's Day in Seattle again. As he wondered about how easily he found George, the Valentine killer who was about to be executed delivered his final speech (Stabler realized the witnesses were in for a spectacle):
"You don't like me or why I call myself Crossbow. You don't want to understand why I hate Valentine's Day or why I wanted to plant fear in the hearts of the people of Seattle. I am truly sorry if my crusade seems purely psychotic to you. However, I'm glad Detective Stabler arrested me, and I wanted him to, which is why I never bothered covering my tracks with Ashley and Joanne, two harlots who perhaps did not deserve death on Valentine's Day. However, my message is simple --- love is not insured!"
====
::embarrassment::
Valentine (2001 Horror Film) (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine_(film))