Im writing a book and need feedback.

[Jake.Ashworth]

So I am writing a book and need some feedback. Let me be up front, I am not an author. I have been creating a story and a location in my mind for the last five years and decided recently that I should try to build it. I started with one paragraph and then it kept coming. I am about halfway through it and was thinking I could drop a chapter at a time here and hopefully get some honest feedback. After running it through friends, I get great responses but naturally they wouldn't want to hurt my feelings. So feel free, be honest and help a fellow horror fanatic out.

Short one sentence description:
A coming of age tale of a budding serial killer told from his own perspective looking back on his childhood.

I will post the first chapter below.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Introduction

I love this feeling, the feeling of complete satisfaction as the blood pours over my knuckles from the jagged cut in his throat. It has been a long time coming and the anticipation has built to this beautiful moment. I know this is an odd place to start my story, but its one of my favorite parts. His name is Joseph and he is a handsome young man of 22. His young wife, Sarah, is on the other side of the room trying not to watch. But lets start at the beginning and work our way up to here.
I have lived in this house alone for a long time, I think my name is Michael but I haven’t heard it spoken aloud in some six years. I raised myself from the young age of thirteen. My parents passed when I was twelve and the caretaker when I was thirteen. I had a great childhood, I grew up very wealthy and could have anything I ever wanted. My father was in the oil industry and spent very little time at home, always flying from state to state. My mother on the other hand was always there, but never present. She held up in her room most of the time. She was a beautiful woman, and incredibly smart but she hated that father was always away.
I was always a little different. I went to a private school until I was eight. I had a problem keeping my hands to myself. I loved the way people’s skin felt under my fingers. At first it was just light touching, boys or girls, it was not a sexual thing. Just a quick brush against as I walked by, or an “accidental” trip and fall, lightly grazing their skin as I went down. They all thought I was so clumsy. I was fascinated with the way everyone’s skin felt different. Sometime in my eighth year, after a scuffle with another boy, I realized that when you squeeze someone’s arm tight you can feel things under the skin. You could feel their muscles move and their tendons tighten. All I wanted from that point forward was to see it, see how it all worked under there. I started to get into more fights just to get the opportunity to grab and squeeze and feel how a person’s body moved. The Dean said that I was dangerous and told my parents I was no longer welcome. I managed to convince mother and father that it was a misunderstanding, that the other kids would pick on me and I was just defending myself. They were incredibly gullible.
My father decided that I would be better off home schooled. They hired a nice live in teacher, her name was Jennifer. She was a beautiful young girl in her mid-twenties. She had long black hair, green eyes and always dressed appropriately. Her skin was so soft, not a flaw to be seen. She was the nicest person I had ever met and we got along great. Looking back, she was one of the few people I never fantasized about skinning.
Being home so much proved bad for my fantasies. I spent a lot of time daydreaming. Things took an interesting turn about three months after I started taking my lessons at home. The house is huge and a little secluded. We have an amazing forest all around us. I wasn’t good at making friends and I honestly had very little interest in trying to so I spent the majority of my free time exploring those woods. I knew them inside and out. I had built a small fort a good mile from the house in a small clearing not far from the little creek that ran through our property. It was made from logs that I had found in the woods and had a roof made of tree branches. There were no windows so it was a little dark inside, but for Christ’s sake, I wasn’t a carpenter. Inside there was little to look at. I had a table and a lantern. I hung a sign on the outside that said “Enter at your own risk”, even though I knew that nobody would ever find my little retreat. My father owned 500 acres and I was so far from the property line that I never even heard cars drive by. I spent a lot of time carving sticks into spears and playing with my Ninja Turtles out there after my lessons were through.
One spring day I had come across a rabbit on my way to the fort. It was pretty big and wiggling around on the ground. It had broken one of its back legs in what I imagined was an epic battle with a pack of coyote’s. I looked into its eye and saw incredible fear, I felt like I could see into its soul. It was screaming out for help in that look that it gave me. My first thought was to take it back to the fort and nurse it back to health. I fashioned a makeshift stretcher from sticks and carefully moved it onto it. I carried it the rest of the way to the fort with my mind racing about what I would be able to do to help it.
After about 15 minutes I arrived at my fort and walked through the small door past the sign meant to keep away any intruders. It was exactly as I had left it, Leonardo and Shredder in an endless battle. I sat the rabbit down in the middle of the room and turned on the small battery powered lantern that I had hung from one of the branches making up the roof. I moved the rabbit from the home made stretcher to the little table that I had fought to get out of the house without anyone noticing, not that they would have noticed me anyway. I stood there, just looking at it and trying to figure out what to do. I thought I could make a splint for the leg and went to gather a few small sticks. While I was outside rummaging through the brush I heard a horrible screeching sound coming from inside of my fort. I dropped everything and ran back thinking to myself that the coyotes had followed us. When I got about 20 feet from the entrance I slowed to a walk and moved very slowly and quietly, as to not alert the coyotes, up to my little shanty. I was listening to the wailing of the rabbit and for any noises the coyotes might make. Peaking slowly around the doorway, I saw the rabbit laying on the ground but no coyotes anywhere. It looked like he had tried to escape and fell off of the table. A quick jab of anger shot through my body. Why would it try to run away when I was just trying to help it? Didn’t it want to be my friend? I walked over to the rabbit and grabbed it by the broken leg yanking it up and back onto the table. It let out an incredible screech of pain that I barely heard. My vision had gone red and all I wanted to do was take this mean little creature back to the woods and let the coyotes have it. After slamming it back onto the table I noticed my hand felt a little wet and I looked down. There was a small amount of the animal’s blood on my fingers and my anger instantly melted away. I didn’t notice at the time but everything melted away. The sound of the rabbit screeching was gone, the thoughts of my lessons and gorgeous Jennifer, even the eternal struggle of good vs. evil happening between Leo and Shredder just feet away, disappeared. I felt… completely satisfied as I slowly rubbed my fingers together and felt the warm blood smear. As I watched it start to dry and turn more ruddy and sticky. It was the single greatest feeling of my life so far. It was then that I noticed, from the corner of my eye, the rabbits muscles ripple under its fur. At that moment all of my curiosity about what happens under someone’s skin came rushing back and all I could think about was how I could finally know.
I grabbed it by the ears slid the point of my pocket knife into its throat. It twitched and its back legs kicked out, but only for a second. I watched as the life drained out of its eyes and I thought I could almost hear it thanking me for putting it out of its misery. The following may have taken hours or days. I fell into a blurry, confused, daze as I tried to figure out how to take the skin off of it. After a few failed attempts at finding somewhere to start and unfortunately ruining some of its better parts, I cut a circle around its neck and wiggled my fingers under the skin. Again that feeling of ecstasy came over me. As I worked at the skin over the next few hours, enjoying every second, I took my time looking at every muscle, every tendon. I bent the joints to see how they moved, it was amazing. It was everything I had wanted and more. After a little time I looked around and realized that it had gotten dark and my lantern was starting to die. If I wasn’t at the dinner table when dinner started someone would come looking for me. It felt wrong to just leave the little thing there but I didn’t want to bury it, I wanted to keep it. I took a hammer and a couple nails from the small tool box that I keep in the fort and nailed the lifeless body to the wall by its ears. I stepped back and admired it for a moment longer, soaking in every emotion that was washing over me and loving this feeling. Just before I was about to run out the door and head home, I decided I wanted to take something with me so that I could remember this occasion. I took my pocket knife, still bloody from my day’s adventure, and cut off one of the rabbits still furry but bloody little feet. I giggle and thought to myself “My first lucky rabbits foot!”

[Jake.Ashworth]

I rushed home and snuck in through the back. I could still hear Jennifer in the kitchen making dinner so I knew I wasn’t too late. It smelled amazing, she was making a roast, Jennifer was an excellent cook. I rushed upstairs and down the hall to my bedroom. After slamming through the door into my huge bedroom I stripped down and threw the filthy clothes into the trashcan underneath my computer desk, tying the trash bag closed so that nobody would find it (Later I will burn it). My room was massive, I had a king size bed against the far wall, my own computer desk and a sitting area with a big screen TV and just about every game system you could imagine. I also had a private bathroom and shower. I took the little rabbits foot into the bathroom with me to wash it off. While the water to the shower heated up I carefully cleaned all of the blood off of the rabbits foot. I had some small rope out in the fort that I would tie around the end to make it into a necklace. I jumped in the shower to wash all of the blood off of my body, still riding the high from the day. I watched the light pink blood mix with the hot water and spiral around the drain and thought to myself “I cant believe I waited so long for that.” But the wait was worth every minute. I noticed that I was very excited and decided to touch myself. It was the first time I had reached climax in my short life and just as I was finishing, my heart pounding through my chest, I heard a pounding on the door. Jennifer called out “You’ve been in there forever kiddo! Dinner is ready.” I yelled back to her “Im sorry, I lost track of time. Ill be down in just a minute.” I hurried to finish up, get dressed and get down to the table.
We had a twenty two person dining room table that was never used for its intended purpose. When father bought the house he intended for mother to host large dinner parties and always have people over. That didn’t happen, not even once. Of course, dad wasn’t there and mom was taking dinner in her room as she did most nights. It was just me and Jennifer at the table. She served the roast and sat right next to me. She asked “How was your day buddy?” I replied with “Great!” She looked very interested and I thought that I might have painted myself into a corner and was going to have to come up with a good lie. If I kept this up, I would need to become a much better liar. She said “I didn’t know you loved my lessons that much!” with a giggle. Then asked “What did you do after you finished your school work today?” I looked at her for a second wracking my brain and said with a smile from ear to ear “Just played out in the woods, like I always do. I found a hurt rabbit and took care of him.”

********** It wouldn't let me post it all in one post, lesson learned.*********

[Jake.Ashworth]

Just so anyone reading this knows, if your interested on continuing to read what I have written I will be posting a chapter a week on this thread. Normally on Mondays.

[Jake.Ashworth]

So I figure I will go ahead and post the next chapter today before the weekend hits. I hope its going over well. It will probably take a few posts to get this chapter up so bare with me.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Chapter 1

The following four years were a rush of fun and excitement as I learned from, and grew closer to Jennifer, and developed more as a young man. I went to my lessons with Jennifer every week day for 6 hours and learned a ton about America, Mathematics, English, Spanish, and every other topic most children were learning about in their schools. I spent the evenings playing in the woods and in my fort. I continued my hands on anatomy lessons whenever I could find a participant. I had started quite a collection. I lived like most people my age where living, just slightly more secluded but I didn’t mind, I liked spending time alone and coming up with fun ways to kill the time. I also really loved all of the time I got to spend with Jennifer.
My mother continued her course of spending most days in her room alone. I didn’t hear from her much. I would occasionally go and knock on her door and ask her to come out so that I could show her the work I did in class. She would always open the door and fain interest for a few minutes before deciding that it wasn’t worth any more of her time and giving me a quick hug before closing the door and disappearing. That short hug was amazing, I loved her so much, although now I am not sure why.
I know Jennifer saw how that killed me. We spent a lot of time together, not just in class but after as well. We would sit down and watch a movie in the media room together and laugh and have a ton of fun. We would go outside and I would walk her through the woods, showing her around and naming off some of the birds that I could recognize. We spent one amazing evening having a picnic down by the creek. I knew this great spot with a huge flat rock that jutted out slightly over the creek and I thought she would love it also. We had sandwiches and listened to the water trickle by as the sun slowly went down in the distance and it began to get dark out. We talked about a lot of things, where she grew up and about her parents. We talked about upcoming movies we were both excited about and I pretended like I might want to go to the theater to see them. When it was time to head back I was very careful not to lead her to the fort, of all of the things I felt like I could tell her, I knew she wouldn’t understand the small critters nailed up to the wall of my little shack. When I was with her, I never thought about any of that. I was starting to think I may be in love with her.
One day after class was over she came into my bedroom where I was playing a new game that I ordered from the internet for my playstation. She didn’t like playing games and for some reason wasn’t a fan of me playing them, she said it rotted my mind and killed my creativity. I felt plenty creative. She said “Hey kid! Want to get some pizza and have a movie night?” I replied distracted “Yeah that sounds like fun, can it be horror movies tonight?” She got easily scared and would always sit really close when we watched them. “I guess, it is your turn to pick. Ill order the pizza and come get you when it get here.” she said looking a little nervous about the horror movies. I just nodded my head, completely absorbed in the fantasy world of the game.
I was sitting there playing when I heard a little sound behind me. I thought nothing of it, probably one of those damned cats mom keeps. Then everything went dark, I yelled out and started swinging my arms. That’s when I heard the laughing coming from behind me. It was Jennifer, she snuck up and threw a pillowcase over my head. I was furious for a split second and then fell on the floor laughing uncontrollably. I yelled out “That was a good one! I cant believe you snuck up on me and I didn’t hear you!” Between gasps for air Jennifer said “It was easy, HAHAHA, when you play, HEHEHE, you are completely oblivious.” She came around to help me up off of the floor. After I was up and steady on my feet, she gave me a tight hug. Being ten, and she being 26, she was a little bit taller than me. My head rest comfortably between her breasts. I knew she did it on purpose. I could smell her sweet perfume and imagine what they would look like without all those clothes covering them. I was suddenly and for only a split second lost inside my head. I could feel the soft skin touching my cheek as I sucked one of her perfect little nipples into my mouth. Then I rushed back out of the daydream as fast as I had fallen into it. She pushed me back by my shoulders and said “The pizza is here. Lets go grub down and start a movie. Did you pick something good?” I said “Yeah I have a couple of movies I have been wanting to see.” With that we headed downstairs.
She went into the kitchen to put the pizza on plates and I headed into the media room to start the movie. I tried to pick the scariest, goriest movies I could find hoping that it would get her as close as possible to me. I put in House of a Thousand Corpses, a Rob Zombie movie that I hadn’t had a chance to watch yet. Jennifer came in with drinks and one of the pizza boxes “I thought we could rough it tonight.” she giggled as she sat down the box. I started the movie, and she sat down on the other side of the couch. She watched intently and I watched her out of the side of my vision. I could see in her body that she was tense and starting to get a bit scared. We ate the pizza and watched the movie. For some reason she liked to talk while we watched movies even though she knew that I hated it. She said “Are you excited about your birthday?” I was turning ten next month but wasn’t excited at all. Birthdays were never very exciting for me. I answered “SHHH, this movie so great.” Redirecting the best I could.

[Jake.Ashworth]

When the teens went into the Murder Ride at Captain Spaulding’s she moved the pizza box from between us to the table and scooted over to the cushion next to mine. The movie was really good so far. The teens lose a tire driving through the rain and Jennifer started biting her lip nervously. My heart was racing in anticipation, hoping she would scoot all the way over and lean against me. After we are introduced to the family and they have a little goofy performance the teens are given back their car and are allowed to leave. Then just as they are about to drive away Tiny, the deformed and ironically huge brother, steps in front of them and the family attacks. As soon as that happened Jennifer moved the rest of the way over and put her arm around me. My plan worked perfectly. As the movie went on I could feel her muscles tense up every time she anticipated something about to happen. I could feel the little jumps at the scary parts. She whispered “Why do you like these horrible movies?” I said “No reason, they are just fun.” But I knew exactly why I enjoyed them.
The end of the movie came with a flourish of activity after the last remaining teenager meets Dr. Satan and runs away. She thinks she escaped, but we all know better. By this time it was about eleven o’clock at night and Jennifer had fallen asleep some twenty minutes ago. She had her head on my shoulder and I was just sitting there as the credits ran enjoying it. Out of my peripheral I could see just the top of her cleavage from above her pajama top. I shook her a little and said “Wake up sleepy.” She mumbled a little and opened her eyes. She looked at me and said “Oh my God Michael, I am so sorry for falling asleep. Its been such a long day.” I said “No worries, go up to bed and get some rest, I will clean up down here.” It also gave me time to hide my excitement without her seeing it. She thanked me and headed up stairs, I turned everything off and picked up.
After everything was cleaned up I headed up to bed. I was walking down the long hall that led to my room. I had to walk by hers to get there. As I did I heard water running and realized it was the shower in the bathroom that attached her bedroom to the guest bedroom next to it. I had a brief image run across my mind of her completely naked and covered in bubbles from her soap. Her skin glistening with water. I decided I would sneak into the guest bedroom and see if she had left the door cracked. I slid inside and tiptoed past the small bed and dresser that occupied the small guest room. I noticed the door was cracked just a hair, “Thank God!” I gasped under my breath. I snuck very carefully up to the door and peaked through, I could still hear the water running and had a very limited view of the shower. I couldn’t see anything, I was pretty upset but then I thought she has to get out of the shower eventually. So I waited impatiently, feeling myself become more excited by the minute.
I heard the water turn off and got really excited and amazingly nervous. The excitement was enough for me to ignore the fear. The curtain slid aside and I saw her hand come out from the shower. She fumbled around for a moment and grabbed her towel. Then she emerged with the towel wrapped around her body. I was beginning to get a little discouraged, but I couldn’t stop watching. She took her contacts out and dried her hair with a hair dryer. I watched hoping she would make a mistake and drop the towel or decide to get dressed in the bathroom and I could finally see what I have been waiting to see for the last few years.
I watched in amazement as the towel finally fell from around her. She was glorious. I felt my breath hitch in my throat as I watched her body moved. For a split second red flashed through my vision and I heard a voice in my head say “Imagine what her blood feels like.” But then it was gone. She wasn’t getting dressed either. I started to touch myself as I watched her move around her room, first to the mirror to look herself over. She squeezed some of the skin around her waist and made a face in the mirror. I’m not sure what she was looking at, but it didn’t matter. She then did something very unexpected. She climbed into bed and under the covers without getting dressed. I could hear her wiggling around and I could hear moans coming from her bed. I thought I knew what she was doing and that made me lose it. Her bed was just out of view. I was all at once tempted to just rush in and jump into bed with her. But after it settled in that the show was over for the night, I retreated to my bedroom and my computer to finish what I had started. By midnight I was exhausted and in bed, images of the day pouring back through my mind as I slipped away into sleep.
From then forward I did everything I could to sneak peeks. I think she knew that I was looking and that little minx kept trying to make it hard for me not to. She would bend over at my desk making it impossible not to look down her shirt. She would drop things just so that she had to pick them up. I couldn’t believe it, she was teasing me. I went out of my way to compliment her, and let her know how I felt without actually saying it. All of the teasing made me want more, I wanted to see what I had missed that night. I had a brilliant idea to drill a small hole in her wall near her bed but hidden behind a small plant that she kept in the corner. When she was away at the store one day, knowing that my mother was definitely not coming out the rest of the day, I went up to the storage closet next to Jennifer’s room. Using a small drill that I normally kept out at the fort for other purposes, I drilled a hole just big enough that when I would stick my eye all the way up against it, I could just see her bed. I went into her room to make sure that you couldn’t see it from anywhere in her room. Always unlocked, she was so trusting. It was perfect, you couldn’t tell it was there at all, even if you moved the plant you could barely see it and it could easily pass as a nail hole. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her clothes basket, and crumpled up inside I saw a small pair of thong underwear. I went over and struggled with myself, but eventually decided that I should take them. After that day, I used the hole at every opportunity, although I only got to see her playing one other time, most nights I was content to watch her sleep and imagine how one day we would be together. During the day I did everything I could to get closer to Jennifer. I tried to make her feel special and I tried to let her into my world little by little.
The following month snuck up on me and I had forgotten all about my birthday. I was so caught up in all of my extracurricular activities. Jennifer held me after my lessons to talk to me about my approaching birthday, I gladly stayed to talk to her. She said “So, this year I am going to do something special for your birthday.” I imagined touching her skin, that would be very special. I said “Ok, go on?” She replied “Im going to throw you a party, I will be inviting your old friends from school and… Your father agreed to come.” I got so excited. I didn’t really know him, but this could be the part of my life that he starts making an effort. I felt myself smile, I wasn’t excited about the kids from that god awful school but just the idea of father.
“Well, that settles it, go on I have planning to do.” I ran out of the room feeling very good about things and went straight to my room to play games. I hadn’t seen father sense he removed me from school and set up Jennifer as my teacher. He was a mystery to me, I knew he was in the oil business but I didn’t even really know what he did. I had these big dreams of him in other countries telling people what to do and making huge decisions. I settled into my couch to play and dwell on the possibilities.

[Jake.Ashworth]

The week slid by and the day came. I got up and got cleaned up in the shower, put on my best clothes and some nice cologne and prepped myself. It was going to be a long day and I was going to have to be social which wasn’t really my strong suit, but father was going to be here and maybe some people I knew from school. I went downstairs and found Jennifer sitting in the kitchen with breakfast waiting for me. “What time are we doing this thing?” I asked. She said “Well the party starts at noon.”
I tossed my food down my throat as quick as I could and went to walk through the house. The media room was all set up for a party. Streamers and a small disco ball. It looked great, I loved that girl, she really knew how to take care of me. I sat down and looked at the clock, 10 am, two hours. I hate waiting, every minute feels like ten. My mind wondered and I pictured a room full of people I used to know dancing and smiling. I pictured Jennifer bringing in snacks and then my father walking through the door with a huge present and a big smile on his face. This was going to be the best day. I sat and waited.
The hours passed as I sat there and imagined the perfect party, I hadn’t even realized that it was one in the afternoon and there was still nobody there. I glanced toward the clock and saw the time, I remember thinking to myself “Well people are always a little late.” I sat there on the couch, party decorations surrounding me, music on quietly in the background, and day dreamed about my perfect party.
Jennifer came into the room with a piece of birthday cake. I looked up at her and I know she saw the hurt in my eyes because she sat down next to me and hugged me hard. She said “Its ok Michael, I love you and your mother will be out soon, your father should be here soon too I think. Im sorry none of your friends came.” I smiled and held back my tears. She handed me the piece of cake and watched on as I ate it. I heard her take a deep breath and say “I have to go in the kitchen, I have things in the oven. You can go upstairs and I will call you down when your father gets here.” “Ill just stay here and wait.” I looked down at my shoes and she got up and left. I really didn’t feel like talking. There was a pain in my chest that made me feel a lot of things at once and I hated it.
I heard the doorbell ring through the house. I instantly thought to myself “That’s him! Father is here!” not even considering that it’s his house and he probably wouldn’t ring the doorbell. I sat there patiently waiting for him to walk into the room and make everything better. I sat and I sat, why is it taking so long? Just then Jennifer walked in holding a long box wrapped neatly and a card. She looked at me and said “I’m sorry Michael, I tried…” She handed me the card and sat the box down next to me on the couch. I read the front of it, it just said, From Dad. I felt the damn break and the tears stream down my cheeks. I watched the tears drip off onto the envelope and stain the paper. I opened it and took out a very generic looking letter. On the front it read “Happy Birthday” with a picture of a dog blowing out candles on a birthday cake. Inside typed in a nice font it said “I wish you the best on your birthday.” And then at the bottom was fathers name, but it was signed in printed ink. I flipped over the card and it said it was from Amazon on the back. He didn’t even buy it and mail it, he just purchased it and whatever that box is on Amazon and had it shipped here.
As the tears poured down my face anger and hatred flowed through my veins, I could feel myself locking this away. This was the kind of thing I got from him every year, but this year was supposed to be different. He told Jennifer he would be here. This year was when he was supposed to come back and tell me he loved me and wrap his arms around me. I balled uncontrollably, I didn’t even notice Jennifer was still standing there. She had tears in her eyes but was doing a good job of holding it together. I sat the card down and took a deep breath, I said “Jennifer, I think I am done for the day, tell mother that I went to bed early if she comes out. Oh and I am done with these attempts at parties. I think I have outgrown them.” “What about your dinner?” She replied, I wasn’t hungry at all, but I didn’t want to hurt Jennifer’s feelings. “Can you please bring it up to my room?” I said in a quiet voice. She said “Of course, go ahead.” I got up and went upstairs, feeling incredibly defeated.
I laid down on my bed and cried harder than I have ever cried in my life. I heard a voice tell me, “It doesn’t matter, you don’t need to worry about him.” I stopped crying and listened, I think I heard a voice in my head but it didn’t sound like me. Then I heard it again, and clearer “Don’t worry about that ass, he will get what’s coming to him. You just need to concentrate on Jennifer and your mom.” I felt the tears dry up and suddenly a calm came over me. My mind cleared and I realized the voice, myself, whatever it was was completely correct. I didn’t know him, I didn’t know anything about him. Why do I care if he shows up? His only use is to pay the bills and keep me in this beautiful house.
There was a knock at the door, I ignored it for a second waiting for Jennifer to walk away. After I heard her footsteps walk away from the door, I opened it and saw my dinner on a tray and the present that he had sent. I picked up the tray and sat it on the computer desk. Then grabbed the present. Closing the door behind me I ran my fingers over the wrapping paper. My pinky caught the edge of one of the ridges and I felt a sharp pain shoot up my finger. “Damn” I shouted. Paper cut. I grabbed the edge of the paper and ripped it open trying to ignore the huge amount of pain from the tiny cut. “Well, at least the guy got a good present.” I looked on thinking of the potential as I revealed a long Daisy Pellet Gun from inside of the wrapping paper. I could use this I think.
Feeling slightly more cheerful I unboxed the gun and played with it a bit, it was easy enough to use and it came with a box of two hundred pellets that should last me a little while. I was feeling anxious to use it, but it was evening and getting dark outside. I decided to put it away and save it for another day, maybe this weekend. I grabbed the tray of food and polished off my dinner. After the great meal I sat the tray outside of the door and headed for bed.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Alright, time for the next chapter. It will be posted below.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Chapter 2

Then came a huge blow. It sent shock waves through my house that caused unbelievable damage and set off a chain of events that would eventually bring us to where we are today. I was outside just in front of the house practicing my aim with the pellet gun that I had received from father for my birthday and he had shipped to me. I set up cans and bottles along the small white fence that bordered the front yard. I had never shot before so it was taking some getting used to. After a couple of boxes of pellets I was really starting to get good at it though. I was picking the cans off of the fence without hesitation, I think I am a natural. Just then a crow fluttered down out of a tree and landed on the fence. I instantly moved my aim from the soda bottle that I was currently concentrating on and zeroed in on the bird. It looked directly at me and cawed just as I lightly squeezed the trigger. I learned a little about pellets that day. I wasn’t sure that I had hit the bird, at first it didn’t move at all. Then the bird’s wings shot out and it started into the air. I thought shocked “I missed, it’s going to fly away.” It beat its wings hard and flew about three feet into the air before its wings gave in and it fell back to the ground. I could see it flipping around trying to get back to its feet. The pellet was true, it struck right in the middle of its chest where I was aiming. I felt incredibly proud as I strolled over to the little guy. It wasn’t making any noise but it was moving around a lot and I was worried that Jennifer would come out and see it. A few feet away there was a big tree that I used to climb when I was younger. Under it was a lot of landscaping rocks. I went and got one of the biggest ones that I could find. I thought about slamming it down onto the bird and hopefully killing it and effectively hiding it at the same time. But I really wanted to watch it die. I sat the rock on top of the bird slowly and gently making sure that I didn’t cover its head. It squirmed and wiggled for a little while, it was incredibly resilient but it finally gave in to the weight and I just sat and watched as its life dwindled out.
Feeling really good and really enjoying my Saturday I strolled back into the house and plopped down at the bar in the kitchen. Yet another room that was set up for entertaining but had basically become just another room for me to watch Jennifer gracefully move around. She was truly at home in the kitchen. She loved to cook and made some of the most incredible meals. Today when I came in from outside she was standing on the other side of the bar holding her phone to her ear and listening to something very intently. I could see a terrible look of worry on her face and tears in her eyes. I suddenly became very nervous. Something was wrong. She asked “Are you sure?” Then “I see, ok I will pass the word along.” She hung up the phone and looked at me. She was speechless for a few minutes and then walked around the counter and hugged me tight. I was starting to get really worried and I pushed her back and asked “What happened?” In as adult and strong of a voice as I had at the time. She said “I am so sorry Michael, but your father is dead.”
I heard the words, and I forced myself to tear up and start to cry. But I felt nothing, I didn’t care. I cried and held onto Jennifer, most importantly she held onto me. I put on the appropriate show, the whole time just wanting to get something to eat. I didn’t really know my father, he hadn’t been home in months and even then he came in late at night and by morning was gone again. I asked Jennifer “How did it happen?” She told me “All they told me was there was a fire at one of the sites and he didn’t get out on time.” I didn’t want to tell mom or be anywhere around when Jennifer told her. Even though his death didn’t affect me, it was going to crush mom and I couldn’t handle that. I hated to see her upset. I asked quietly “Can you tell mother? I need some time alone and I don’t think I can handle watching her cry.” She said “Of course, anything you need.” I smiled at her and headed up to my room, stopping to grab a apple off of the counter, I was starving.
I walked into my room and stood there in the silence thinking about what had just happened. I took a bite out of my apple and decided to see if I could find anything about the fire online. I sat down at my computer desk and pulled up Google. I typed into the search bar my father’s name, “Steven Joseph Scarborough” The first few results were just his Facebook profile and his LinkedIn profile. I clicked on the Facebook profile and waited for the page to load. There he was, a big smile on his face and for a split second I thought to myself that I wished I had known him. I started clicking through the posts and pictures and began to get angry. I saw pictures of a smiling man in a Hawaiian shirt standing on a beach. I saw pictures of a smiling man on the edge of a cliff that it looked like he had just climbed. That mother fucker was out living his life and loving it without us. He was happy not being here with us. I hated him. I could feel my skin turning red and my vision began to haze over but with a couple of deep breaths I brought myself back down. I tucked away the pain and clicked back and away from his Facebook and his happy life without us and found a news article dated for the day before. It read “HUGE FIRE AT OIL REFINERY 12 DEAD” I clicked on the headline and read through the article. There was my father’s name, among the list of the deceased. It was surreal to read more about my father in that article than I had ever known about him in person. And with that, I checked out. I was done, I didn’t want to know any more about him or the life that he led.
I turned off my computer and threw the apple core into the trash can. It was approaching dinner time and I wasn’t sure how that was going to play out tonight. I got up and went into my bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and practiced a few sad puppy dog faces. I found one that said “I’m very sad and depressed and I am not sure what to do with myself.” It was perfect. I headed downstairs. It was very quiet in the house and I wasn’t sure what to expect as I walked into the dining room. I came around the corner and was a little shocked to see my mother sitting at the head of the table. She had a tissue in one hand. Jennifer was sitting to her left and my plate was set to her right. I got control of myself and went over to the table. I said “Hi” to my mother and kissed her gently on the cheek. She flashed a quick unimpressive smile at me. I sat down, pulled my chair in, and waited quietly for something to happen. Mother said “What are you waiting for you two, eat up.” And with that I started eating. There were no words exchanged during dinner, mostly because none of us knew what to say. When we were finished Jennifer cleaned up the dishes and I sat with Mother. She looked at me and said “He really loved you.” I mumbled “Yeah, I bet.” She looked offended but at the same time understanding. She spent the next 20 minutes crying softly and trying to explain his absence to me. I agreed and made my pre-selected sad face just to make her feel better. Then she kissed me on the forehead and told me she loved me. She got up and I watched her retreat to her room in tears. It broke my heart to watch her cry.
Jennifer brought desert out for the three of us, but after noticing that Mother had already left, me and her ate ours and split Mothers. She tried to console me some more and I put my sad face back on hoping for a hug and maybe even a kiss. We talked about what I remembered of my Father, about how even if he wasn’t home for Christmas or my birthday, there were always presents to be had. About how things were before he bought this property and how I think there was a time when we used to play together. It was interesting to me, as I looked back and realized that no matter how much he had done for me I never felt like he loved me. I never felt like he even cared that I existed. And with all of that said, I still don’t miss him.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Chapter 3

Mother left making the arrangements for the memorial up to Jennifer. She told me that this didn’t feel right at all. I completely understood, other than the name on her paycheck she didn’t have any idea who my father was. I had no interest in helping. But somehow Jennifer pulled off an amazingly beautiful memorial and service. She spent all of three full days making phone calls and during that time I didn’t have any lessons. I considered it my bereavement break. She arranged a beautiful church for the memorial and managed to contact everyone on his friends’ lists as well as a lot of the clients that he cherished so much. I watched as she made phone call after phone call, the church, the pastor, flowers, a tombstone for the family plot even though there was nothing left to bury. She covered all of the bases and I sat with her to help with the time between phone calls. I tried to make her smile, I joked around and goofed off. It didn’t seem to help much and part of the way through day 2 she waved me away. I was a bit shocked, and kind of angry. I was trying to help her through this hard time, if she didn’t want me around she could go fuck herself. I grabbed my pellet gun from my room and my camo jacket. I was angry and wanted to kill something. I headed out to the woods and toward my fort.
I walked quietly through the woods hoping I would stumble across something that wasn’t expecting me. Thoughts of my Father kept shooting through my mind. I was lost in my head thinking about him and Jennifer and I had lost track of time. I looked ahead of myself and could see my fort sitting out in the small clearing. I must have been walking for half an hour but I couldn’t remember most of it. I thought for a quick second that I had noticed gaps like that before. Areas of time that it seemed just passed without me noticing them, but mid thought I got a really uneasy feeling. I stopped dead in my tracks and looked out across the clearing at my small fort, and I saw movement. I instantly got worried, somebody had found my hiding place. And somebody was trespassing. I crouched low and watched. Then in a blur a little body ran out of the fort, and then another. Coyotes! They must have smelled the blood. I was irate, I leveled my pellet gun and popped off a shot. I hit one of them in the hip and it yipped and ran off. The others followed right behind. I fought all of my urges to run to my fort and look at what kind of damage they caused, and I waited to make sure they were definitely gone.
I waited for fifteen minutes telling myself that I must have caught them before they got to my collection. Telling myself that I didn’t see one of them carry something off. Everything else had moved to the back of my mind and all I could think about was my friends. I started creeping slowly up on my fort, listening closely for any movement. After I was sure they were gone I broke into a sprint and ran all the way to the door. I sped around the corner and was shocked to see body parts and blood everywhere. They destroyed everything. They ate most of the flesh, the beautiful muscle, and the little heads. I was so angry, all I wanted was revenge. I left the mess and ran back to the house not stopping until I was bent over in front of the back door breathing so heavy I thought I might pass out. I composed myself enough to go inside and find Jennifer. She was sitting on the couch watching TV when I came in. I said “I think I’m going to camp out tonight.” She said “I’m not sure about that Michael, it’s chilly and I keep hearing coyotes out there at night.” “I’ll be safe, I just need to be out of the house and alone for a while. I promise I can take care of myself.” I told her. She agreed and I told her “Thank you.” And headed out. I stopped at the tool shed and grabbed a few things that I needed.
I decided I would set a trap for the coyotes, I wanted them to suffer. I went to the fort anticipating working most of the night. I dug a deep pit in the middle of my fort, using a small wheel barrow that I got from the tool shed to move the dirt out back. I kept digging until my hands hurt. I was filthy and sweating everywhere but when I finished I had a whole easily 6 feet deep and narrow, only maybe 3 feet across. It took me a few tries to pull myself up out of it. But after I got out I moved the rest of the dirt around back, it was a huge pile. I was pretty proud of myself. I went back in and laid a large tarp across the hole, it nearly covered the entire floor of the fort. I covered it in a thin layer of dirt and took what was left of my collection and laid it all around the tarp. Hopefully that will catch one of the little shits that did this. As I was spreading the last of the dirt around and trying to make it as unnoticeable as possible I realized that it had gotten light outside. I had literally worked all the way through the night. Today was my father’s memorial service and I needed to get ready. I took one last look at my work, assured myself that it was perfect, and headed back to the house.
When I got back to the house, I put all of the tools back in the shed so that the landscaper wouldn’t miss them when he came later in the week. I went inside and up the back stairs to my bedroom. I thought briefly about stopping in the storage closet but decided that it was not the right time. My bedroom was full of sunshine seeping in through the huge windows. Although a somewhat traumatic couple of days, right now, I feel pretty good. I was exhausted and filthy, but more clear headed than I had been sense the last time I peeled the skin off of a field mouse. I had hope, hope that by tomorrow this memorial would be behind me and I would have a new toy to play with. I went in to take a shower and freshen up, I had to look sharp for the service.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Chapter 4
After my shower I splashed on some cologne and put on the suit that Jennifer had laid out for me. She was great at picking just the right outfit. I was in an all-black sport coat and black pants with a dark blue button down and a white tie. I slipped my rabbits foot over my neck and tucked it inside of the shirt. It looked great all put together. I had almost forgotten how good I looked when I cleaned up and put on clothes meant to be seen in public. Just then it hit me, there are going to be a lot of people at this thing. I haven’t been in a crowd in years, hell I wouldn’t even go to the grocery store. My heart started racing, I started sweating, and the room started spinning and then, nothing.
As my eyes opened I could see Jennifer’s face and a lot of light. I tried to sit up, but my head throbbed. I had passed out. Jennifer was helping me to my bed. She said “Michael, thank god you’re ok. I was so worried.” She cupped my face with her hand and sighed. I started to tell her that I loved her but caught myself before the words came out. Through all of the craziness she has been the one constant in my life for the last few years. There was a lot I wanted to say to her, but instead I just grumbled “I’m ok, what happened?” She said “I was in my room getting ready when I heard a loud bang from in here. I got here as fast as I could.” I thanked her and hugged her. She helped me to my feet. I was still a bit unsteady, but I was starting to feel better.
After brushing off my suit and making sure I looked my best, we headed downstairs. We walked down the hall, Jennifer slightly ahead of me and I made note of how incredible she looked in her brilliant dark green dress. After admiring the way her body moved as we walked down the hall I spoke up. “Jennifer…” She stopped and turned around. I asked “Why aren’t you wearing black? I mean it’s a funeral and I thought that was what you were supposed to do.” She smiled a little and replied “I know you’re supposed to, but I prefer to treat funerals like a celebration of a person’s life. I know I didn’t know your father, but from what I have heard he was a good man.” I shifted my eyes down and shook my head a little, “Let’s get downstairs, I’m sure mother is waiting.” During the rest of the walk down I thought about how incredibly upbeat she is and how much I wished I could look at the world through her eyes. I quick image flashed in front of my eyes, it was me in a dark room. I was sitting cross-legged in the center of the one light shining down from the ceiling and I was rolling a set of eyes around in my hand like baoding balls. I closed my eyes and shook my head back and forth and when I opened them I was standing outside in front of the car that mother had ordered. The driver was looking at me a little strange and holding the door open. My mother and Jennifer were already inside. I looked at the driver and could feel the anger radiating out of me at him. I think he felt it too because he changed his stance real quick. Straightened up, smiled and didn’t look into my eyes the rest of the day. I walked by him and stepped into the car. I could see my mother looking out the window on her side and could barely hear Jennifer trying to talk to her to no avail. The door slammed shut, the driver went around to his side of the car and got in. I watched as his face disappeared behind the rising divider between us and him. I felt like he was relieved.
The car drove down our long driveway silently. When we approached the great iron gates that kept the outside world away the car slowed slightly. The gates swung open automatically and closed behind us after we drove through. The car ride was a little weird. I was thinking deeply the entire time about all of the people I was getting ready to encounter and about how I was going to have to fake sadness all day. I would have to talk to these people who knew my father better than I ever had. I watched through the window as the trees of our forest slid by. I kept trying to see things in the branches, a face here, a cute little rabbit there. I watched as we drove out of the forest and I could see as we slowly approached Baltimore. The country melted away to the suburbs as the highway cruised by above them. Then the suburbs gave way to the outer city and the ghettos. I watched as people toiled away on the streets, as the drug addicts looked for their next fix and the prostitutes stood on the corners. Someday I felt like I could do some fantastic work in these streets. I thought about how most of these people wouldn’t be missed if they vanished, and the gears started turning. I think during this Jennifer tried to talk to mother some more and I believe she tried to talk to me as well, but I didn’t hear her or acknowledge her. I figured she would just brush it off as grief.
The rest of the way to the memorial was filled with me imagining all of the things that I could do out in the city. All of the different bodies that were moving around those streets and what they looked like from the inside. With a big deep breath and my eyes closed I could smell the blood, I could feel the slickness as it poured over my skin. Someday…
I felt the car come to a stop and the driver get out. I opened my eyes to the most beautiful old church, with huge stained glass windows and a giant bell tower. In my mind Quasimodo swung from tower to tower, watching the cars pull up and waiting for the appropriate time to strike the bells. I looked through the car window at the front of the church and all of the people walking around outside. There must have been a hundred just on the steps. They couldn’t all be here for the memorial could they? I looked at Jennifer and she said jokingly “Wow! There you are, I was starting to worry you slipped into a coma.” I smiled sarcastically at her and asked “Are all of these people here for dad?” “About four hundred if they all show up.” She said. I was shocked that my father knew so many people. I was more shocked that so many liked him enough to show up.
The driver popped the door open and stepped around behind it in order to give me room to get out. After I stepped out I turned around and offered my hand to Jennifer to help her out. Then my mother. As she came out she kissed me on the cheek and quietly thanked me. I could feel myself light up, I loved the affection. The whole time this was happening the driver kept his eyes straight ahead and didn’t look my way once. I love this sense of power.

[Jake.Ashworth]

We stepped away and he closed the door, I walked up to him and handed him a hundred dollar bill. His jaw dropped open. I said “I like you, I don’t come to the city much, but I may need a discreet driver in the future. Would you be a discreet driver?” He looked at me shocked, you could tell he didn’t expect to hear such a thing from a young boy of ten. I said “Quick now! I have somewhere to be.” He shook off the look of shock, glanced at the hundred dollar bill in his hand and smiled, “I can be the most discreet person you have ever met. Questions aren’t part of my job.” I gave him a nod of agreement “Meet us back out here for the ride home at exactly 8 p.m. Not a minute later, and we may have business in the future.” With that he headed back around to the driver side.
During my exchange with the driver, mother had been trying to make her way through the crowd of people and their apologies. “I’m so sorry for your loss.” “Your husband was such a good man.” “I can’t believe he is gone.” All of the cliché bullshit that you hear at a funeral. I tried to remain as invisible as possible so that I didn’t have to fake my way through a conversation that I had no interest in being in. We slowly made our way up the stairs, mother in front, Jennifer and I side by side. I had a short daydream about this being our wedding and us getting ready to go inside. She looked amazing in her wedding dress and all of these people were piled around us taking pictures. Then I heard someone yell out my name. It pulled me out of my daydream in an instant and I was looking into the eyes of an older man of around 60. I took a deep breath and knew that I looked confused. The man said “Well of course you don’t recognize me. Im your uncle William. Your father’s brother.” I had no idea who this guy was, and I didn’t like how close he was to my face. His breath smelled like whisky and cigars. I put on a fake smile and hugged him. I could see Jennifer over his shoulder and gave her a little shrugging motion that I knew she would catch. She giggled silently. “It’s good to see you Uncle Will. I apologize but I am not sure if we have ever actually met.” He laughed so hard I thought he was going to pee on himself. Finally after his fit had subsided he said “Well you’re what, ten?” I said “Yes Sir.” I knew my manners. “I guess that means it’s been around eight years sense I saw you last, I don’t expect you to remember me.” Will said. I could see a real quick haze pass over his eyes, he swayed and started to stumble. My mother, who had been watching this exchange from just on the other side of him, reached out with incredible speed and steadied him. She leaned into him and whispered something I couldn’t hear. He smiled, said to her “You always were smart, I don’t know why me and you never…” She slapped him quick and his eyes shot open. He apologized and stumbled off to bother someone else.
We finally made it to the top of the stairs and the entrance to the church. I had been holding Jennifer’s hand and trying to make it seem like we were in deep conversation so that nobody would bother us. We were actually talking about who was going to win tonight’s hockey game, the Bruins or the Stars. We watched every Bruins game together. She glanced at her watch and said “Well we still have about thirty minutes until the memorial starts. Im going to take your mom in and get ready, why don’t you try to avoid the crowd and see if you can entertain yourself?” I agreed and watched as they disappeared behind the giant wooden doors of the church. I imagined it was a huge mouth with razor sharp teeth and a huge slimy tongue, swallowing them whole. That was worth a little laugh.
After they were inside and I was standing alone, but not alone on the front steps of this amazing building trying to figure out what to do. I started thinking about the people out there on the streets again. I could feel my feet start to move me down the stairs but it didn’t feel like I was in control. It felt like the city was calling to me. It was teeming with life and I could cure it of that. There was so much blood out there, coursing through the streets. I was just about to walk out into the street when someone I did recognize grabbed me by the shoulder spinning me around. It was a young boy, about my age. I tried to remember his name, “Timothy!” I shouted. He said “You damned near walked out into that street and got flattened.” That’s when I realized that I wasn’t still at the top of the steps. Timothy was one of my cousins, about the same age as me. I couldn’t remember how we are related, but I think it was on mother’s side. He started in with the “I’m so sorry.” BS. I stopped him and said “Look, I really didn’t know him all that well, and I am sad, but I’m ok.” Lying about being sad was easier than trying to explain why I hated the man. Timothy said “Boy, I’m sorry you didn’t know him that well. You wanna do somethin?” I sighed deeply and said “Thank God, I thought you were going to stay all sappy. Yes please, let’s find something to do.”
We started walking around the side of the massive stone building, chatting about what we have been up to and about the last time we had seen each other. Other than with Jennifer, this was the first time I had a decent conversation in years. It was kind of nice to be able to connect with a boy my age. I honestly thought I would never get the chance again. We followed the side of the building until it made a turn down an alley along the back of the church. I started down it, and Tim stopped. He said “I don’t know if my mom would be ok with me going down there.” I laughed a little and started in on him, “What are you, Chicken?” I started waving my arms and dancing around like a chicken. Tim huffed and started down the alley with me. He mumbled to me as we walked “I aint a chicken, you better watch yourself next time. Nobody calls me a chicken.”
We wondered down the alley. It wasn’t anything to special but to me it was a whole new world. I hadn’t been to the city in years and even then I was to young to remember any of it. We strolled by a couple of big dumpsters and a hobo sleeping in a box. He smelled like pee, and all I can think is “I bet he would thank me for running a blade across his neck.” We came to a little set of steps in the back of the church that led down into the ground with a guard rail around them. They led down to a little door that must go into the basement and the boiler room. I didn’t think a lot of it until I noticed a dog laying at the bottom of the steps. It looked really thin and barely alive. I pointed it out to Tim, the little guys tail was wagging and it tried to stand up but he was too weak and couldn’t. I asked Tim if he wanted to go down and see it. He looked a little nervous so I started to flap my arms and he said “Ok, fine, let’s go down and pet him.” In one quick movement I jumped over the little guard rail and started down the steps. Tim was a little slower and climbed through the guard rail behind me.
At the bottom of the steps the dog was rolled over on its back and it was wagging its little tail just as quick as it could. There wasn’t much down there, the dog, a

[Jake.Ashworth]

drain, a small metal pipe probably for propping the door open. We sat down there for a minute and petted him. Tim said “We should bring him back some food after the service.” I agreed but thought to myself “I don’t know if he will make it that long.” Tim looked down at his watch and let out a little yelp, “The service starts in 3 minutes, we better get back. My mom will be so mad if I walk into that church in the middle of prayer.” Tim ran off yelling back to me “You coming?” I said “Yeah, go on, I’ll be there in a minute.” After Tim climbed back through the rail and I could hear his running feet fade out, I reached back down and petted the little dog again. I said “Don’t worry, just relax.” My hand wrapped around the little section of pipe and I raised it above my head. Just as I was about the slam it into the dogs head, I realized that I can’t get these clothes bloody. I slowly lowered the pipe back down to my side. I had another idea. I placed the end of the pipe inside of the little dog’s ear. With one swift motion I drove it downward and into the mutts head. I could feel the serenity wash over me as I felt the bones in its skull crack under the pressure. He let out a tiny little yipe and was gone. I shivered from head to toe with excitement. My whole body felt alive. I swear I could smell its life leaving its buddy. I pulled the pipe back out, and examined the end of it. It had little pieces of broken bone and what I guessed was brain stuck to it. I put my nose up to it and sniffed. Ohhhh the blood… It smelled so good and so fresh. I ran my fingers over the end of the pipe and then sat it back in the corner. In somewhat of a state of euphoria I climbed the stairs and wondered back down the alley. The hobo still slept in his box and the city went on all around me, but I didn’t notice any of it. I snuck into the service slowly and quietly and sat in the very last pew. There were so many people here but I didn’t hear a single one of them speak, I didn’t even notice when my mother got up to talk. I think there may have even been a short video. I just kept sitting there, circling my thumb and forefinger and feeling the slick, life giving substance on my skin. At my fathers memorial, I don’t think I thought about him once.
A hour or two later I vaguely recall noticing everyone starting to stand up and shake hands. It clicked to me that the memorial was over and we could finally go home. By this time the blood on my fingers had dried and then flaked off and I was just riding the high from the day. I stepped out of the pew and started heading out of the building. I was stopped by a couple of people on the way but I just walked by them and really didn’t notice them. Looking off of the top of the steps, waiting for Jennifer and mother to come out of the church, I saw our car pull up. I took a quick look at my watch and noted that it was 7:57. Very prompt, that’s perfect. I will collect his card when we get back to the house. Just then Jennifer and mother stepped through the door. The look on Jennifers face screamed “I am completely over this.” I could understand.
We headed down to the car together but in complete silence. The people who came to pay their respects to father had mostly scrambled off as soon as the service was over. The couple of people that that remained at the church looked like they may be networking. That made me slightly sick and I thought that someday maybe I would be able to free some of those people from their inhabitions as well. The driver was standing at the car with the door wide open. I helped mother and Jennifer into the car and through a little salute to the driver noting his good work. He closed the door and we were off.
The city was much prettier at night all lit up. Unfortunately I couldn’t enjoy it, all I could think about was the cracking sound that skull made. I closed my eyes hoping Jennifer would think that I was sleeping. Instead I was thinking about how funny it would have been if Tim had tried to sneak some food back there for the little guy and found him in a bloody heap on the ground. I chuckled out loud and looked over toward Jennifer. She said “Whats so funny?” I thought quick and told her “Oh just a joke Tim told me before we went into the church, Ill have to tell you some time.” I rested my head back against the glass and this time I did drift off into sleep.
The next time I opened my eyes we were pulling up in front of our house. I slept the whole drive. I rubbed my eyes and tried to shake off some of the sleapiness. The door swung open and I stepped out. This time I didn’t help Jennifer or mother out of the car, I was exhausted and didn’t even think about it. I watched as mother headed inside arm in arm with Jennifer. No doubt she would be heading to her room, and I really wasn’t sure when the next time I would see her was going to be. I walked back over to the driver and simply said “You did an excellent job tonight. Expect a phone call from me, it may be this week, it may be next year. No matter when, be prepared to come when you are needed.” He thanked me and went on his way.
Just as I had thought, mother went to her room and Jennifer was already in hers getting ready for bed. I headed straight to my room, to tired to even try to watch Jennifer strip down. I opened my door and pulled off the ridiculous outfit. I dug pajamas out of my walk in closet and threw them on. I couldn’t think of anything but getting to bed. I laid down and started to doze off. The last few thoughts that went through my mind before wonderful sleep were these. I remember hearing that while you sleep your brain chooses which memories are most important and it stores them, I love that of everything that happened today I know my brain will retain the intense pleasure of what happened behind that church. I also remembered the trap I had set earlier that morning and I got incredibly excited. There is a chance that I will have a new toy to play with tomorrow. And lastly, an image of Tim coming around the corner of the guard rail with an arm full of food, all smiles, and seeing what I had done to the dog. The food falling out of his arms as his heart pounded and forced all of that warm blood through his veins. He would turn and run, never considering that I could have done it. I laughed as I faded away into sleep. Tomorrow was going to be fun.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Chapter 5
I woke up so excited I ran right passed Jennifer as she tried to offer me breakfast. Still pulling on my jacket a blur of thoughts about what I was going to do rushed through my mind. The day before at my father’s memorial, behind the church while waiting for the service to start I had a little bit of fun with a old dog, but that was nothing compared to what I had planned for that damn coyote. As I ran through the woods, not really paying attention to where I was going, I knew the way like it was programmed into me, I was so distracted by my intentions that I hadn’t noticed the sound of breaking twigs behind me. I saw the clearing coming up ahead of me and I slowed down a bit to steady myself and clear my mind. I wanted to be completely present when I got there. After I stopped and took a couple of deep breaths I heard, movement, behind me. I froze, my first thought that somehow the coyotes had found my trap and were lying in wait all night to ambush me. I could hear the steps approaching from behind and they were close. Almost terrified to turn around I knew I had to. I turned just my upper half at first to try to see what was behind me without making any noise. As I started to turn a bunch of leaves hit me in the face.
I screeched and started swinging my arms violently hoping that whatever was charging me could be warded off by my crazy flailing. As the leaves fell away I heard “Wow, I really got you with that one, are you ok?” It was Jennifer. Instantly a million thoughts hit me, how did I let her follow me, is she going to see the fort, will she ask to check it out, what will I tell her? She patted me on the shoulder and said “Did I scare the words out of your mouth? God I’m good.” I shook loose of her hand a shook my head hard in an attempt to bring myself back. I said “I knew you were back the whole time!” “Yeah right, I totally got you.” She replied. I could feel the flush coming over my face. I was so embarrassed. She said “You went out the door so quick and you looked so happy, I just had to see what was going on. I was right behind you the whole time but it was like you were in a trance.”
“Oh yeah, well I was, ummm….” I tried to respond to her unable to come up with a good answer. “Oh my god! Is that a cabin?” She exclaimed as she pushed pass me and entered the clearing. It took me a second to realize what was about to happen. When it finally dawned on me that she was going to discover what a strange little boy I was and she would probably leave forever. I panicked running after her. Just before she got to the little building I cut in front of her. “Stop!” I yelled. She said “Whats wrong? Am I not supposed to see it? Did you build it? Are you keeping dirty magazines or something in there, if so I have seen it all before, come on let me see.” I tried to come up with a reasonable excuse for her not to go inside, but before I could she was already standing in the doorway wide eyed.
I walked up behind her slowly, she turned around and looked at me. She said “It’s so cute, you made it?” I wasn’t sure what to say and walked by her inside. Surveying the situation I realized that the tarp was bundled up in the bottom of the hole and all of the little pieces of my critters were gone. The little bastard coyotes came back and ate the rest of the parts. One must have fallen into the trap but been able to climb out, I was going to have to figure that out. I turned and said “Yes, I built it from logs and tree limbs I found in the forest. This is where I come to get away from everything. I can play and not feel like that huge house is going to swallow me.” She was still looking around and said “It’s awesome, why haven’t you ever told me about it? I thought we talked about everything.” I said “I needed somewhere nobody would find me.” I noticed a squirrel head, a little rotted and starting to decompose, sticking out from under the table that I had been using to do most of my cutting. I told her “Look, I would really appreciate it if you never told anyone about this, and if you never came back out here. I need this place to be special and just mine.” She said “Well, its not as fun as I was hoping anyway, I was really looking forward to the dirty magazines.” She winked at me. I had walked over to the table and used the back of my foot to kick the head back under it further. She took a deep breath, sighed and said “Ok, I promise I wont come back out here, come one lets go have breakfast.” I followed her out of my fort and we walked back to the house talking about the memorial service and effectively changing the subject.
We walked back into the house laughing and bumping into eachother. The house was silent, like usual. A small part of me still expect to come in the door and find mother cleaning or sitting in her library reading. But she was in her room, as she always was. It didn’t affect me anymore, I just noted it everytime. Jennifer and I went into the kitchen. She asked “What do you want for breakfast?” I said “Hmmm, Prime Rib!” jokingly. She laughed and said “Eggs and bacon it is.” We continued to chat while she cooked. I was starting to think incredibly dirty thoughts about her. I pictured her dancing around the kitchen cooking breakfast completely nude. I snapped out of it as she sat the plate down in front of me, “Eat up.” She said. I waited for her to sit down next to me at the bar and we had breakfast together. Things felt pretty normal again, at least for now.

[Jake.Ashworth]

We spoke about father and the future over breakfast. She said “So things will be a little different now I guess.” I looked at her and said “I don’t think so, I mean I cant remember the last time he spent any real time here anyway.” She seemed a little taken aback and said “Well I guess your right but I think we need to really talk about things, you need to deal with this and not just move past it.” I said “Fine, lets talk about it then.” She could tell I wasn’t really interested and said “I tell you what, lets do your lessons for the day and we can talk about things tonight over dinner, Ill make something special for us and we can sit at the table and hash it out.” as she picked up my plate and hers, and took them to the sink to rinse them off before putting them in the dishwasher.
After lunch we had my lessons. She was such a great teacher. I loved learning from her so much more than I ever enjoyed it at school. Not to mention it was fun to watch her write on the dry erase board, her ass was perfect. I spent the day taking in information with occasional breaks to day dream about running my hands through her hair. Finally when my lessons where done and I had taken in as much info as I could in a day, she collected my work and dismissed me.
I spent a little time thinking about how our talk was going to go. I needed to change the subject off of father as subtly as possible. I think I might try to tell her that I have fallen in love with her tonight. I decided to go back out to the fort and try to come up with a way to trap the coyotes. After gathering my coat and getting my shoes one I ventured out to the fort, stopping to grab the shovel from the tool shed. It was a little strange knowing that Jennifer knew where the fort was, it was also scary knowing that the next time I am entranced in my work she could just wonder in. I walked out of the woods into the clearing. I always felt a little more clear headed out here. My thought was that I would dig the hole a little deeper and find a way to make it more difficult to get out. I pulled the tarp out and inspected my hole, it wasn’t as deep as it seemed the other night when I was standing in the bottom of it covered in dirt and sweat. I had an idea, I laid the tarp out again, the same way as before, except this time I placed rocks around it that I had found out in the woods. My hope was that when something fell into the hole, the rocks would come crashing down on top of it and disable it. I needed to catch this thing, I needed to play.
After rearranging everything I realized that I didn’t have any bait. Without bait there is no way the coyote would return after having fallen into the trap once. I needed something bloody and appetizing. I walked around the forest looking for anything dead that may be of interest to the coyotes and I just couldn’t find anything. I was so disappointed, it seems the coyotes have been clearing out my critters. I felt this need come over me, and anger that these things where in my territory and taking my kills. Just then I had a thought, I bet there is meat in the house I can take.
I ran full speed toward the house. This was going to work perfectly. I crashed through the back door and into the kitchen. I thought to myself “Oh no, Jennifers in here.” As I waved to her. She said “Excited about dinner?” I sniffed the air and could smell the Prime rib cooking. “You got a Prime Rib? You’re the best!” I walked over to her and hugged her so that my face fell between her breasts. I could feel myself moving my head back and forth a bit, and I think she did too because she promptly pushed me away. She said “Dinner at nine, that’s two hours, be there or be sorry.” I said “Yes ma’am!” with a little salute. She giggled and went back to what she was doing. I walked over to our huge refrigerator and pretended I was grabbing a soda. I was actually getting one of the fresh steaks that we kept in the freezer. I slid it into the pocket of my jacket, grabbed a soda and walked out of the kitchen waving bye to Jennifer. She yelled behind me “Two hours!”
This meat should be perfect. Its very fresh and bloody. “I need this plan to work, I need to release some of this tension.” I said out loud to myself as I walked back to the fort. It was already dark outside and I had to light my lamp to see when I got inside. I dug the squirrel head out from under the table and tossed it into the air. I rolled it around in my hands and admired all of the intracasies of it and the rotting flesh. It really is beautiful. I sat the steak down in the middle of the tarp and took the squirrel head to the corner where my tool box is. I pulled a small length of rope out and weeded it through the hole in the back of its head where I had scooped out its little brain, and out one of the eyes. I secured it to the sticks on the ceiling, out of reach of any intruders, so that I could make sure it would always be there for me. After I felt comfortable that everything was going to work out at the fort I started walking home. I still had about an hour so I took my time. I went a little out of my way to walk by the rock on the creek that me and Jennifer had our picnic on once. It brought back some beautiful memories. I strolled back to the house, replaced what I had taken from the tool shed and headed inside for dinner.

[Jake.Ashworth]

An update on the writing process. The book has gotten kind of crazy. Im loving it, it has taken some turns I wasn't expecting but it is coming together great. I think I might have some people following this, if so, thank you all. I hope your enjoying it. When I sit down to write it seems to flow out and Im not stopping it. After I have a finished first draft I will re read it and make any changes. I kind of wish I could get you guys to give me some feedback! ::danger:: but I understand. So yeah, bear with me through this and hopefully when its done you will all support me by buying a copy. I don't think it will be ready for that for a while, and I plan on giving you the whole thing for free right here until it comes out. So again, THANKS!

[Jake.Ashworth]

Chapter 6
The smells rushed over me as I walked through the kitchen, Jennifer was finishing up the rest of dinner. I waved as I walked by but she was too busy to respond. I walked through the house and looked at all of the pictures up on the walls. I’m not normally one for reminiscing but today I was feeling a little off. There were a lot of professional pictures of my father and my mother. Only one of all of us. We looked happy but I couldn’t remember taking the picture at all. It was so stuffy, no fun pictures. No pictures of family vacations or all of us at the beach playing. I walked slowly through the halls to the dining room. The dining room had four huge arched windows along one wall and the other had a large painting of the house and some of the surrounding land. I felt like I should feel regal walking through here, but I just felt like I didn’t fit in. The table was set and waiting for Jennifer and myself to sit down to eat. The salad was already out and soon the rest of the food would be on the table. I walked down and looked at the table. The two seats to the left and right of the head of the table had plates and utensils set. I thought for a second and decided it was time for me to sit at the head of the table. I moved my place setting and took my seat. I could imagine a room full of people sitting in front of a huge feast, laughing and telling stories. It’s too bad that will never happen. I chuckled a little as Jennifer walked in with the prime rib on a platter and went back to get the sides. It’s going to be an interesting night.
After everything was set and we had food on our plates, Jennifer sat down and tried to start the conversation. She tried with “So, what are you feeling, I mean about your father?” I said “Diving right in, huh?” She looked around at the room a little and blushed “I don’t know how to do this. I’m not normally one for talking about feelings.” She said as she cut into her meat. I replied “Then don’t, I will tell you a little bit about what I think, and then let’s talk about something else.” She nodded an Ok. “Well I really don’t know much about my father, he supported us, he is… er, was a great business man. People all over the world knew him better than I did. I don’t have a lot of feelings about it right now, because he was all but a stranger. I need you to understand that I am ok, and that I really don’t need to talk about it. Deal?” I could see her relax and she said “Understood and Deal” and reached across the gap between us to shake my hand. I grabbed hers and shook firmly. “Now, let’s eat this amazing food and talk about something else.” I said, “Like how the Bruins killed the Redwings last night?” she asked. I had totally forgotten about the game, I was so exhausted. “I can’t believe I missed it, I guess the memorial took more out of me than I thought.” She said “Tonight’s game should be good though, we are playing the Stars.” Excited I said “I forgot there was a game tonight too, we are going to watch it over desert I hope?” “Of course!” She said. We finished up our dinner, as we talked I reached out and touched her arm occasionally just trying to feel her soft skin under my fingers. When we were done she started to clear the table and I stopped her. I said “I’ve got this, you go turn on the game and get the room ready.” She smiled softly and left the room. I cleared the dishes and put them in the dishwasher.
When I got into the media room she had the lights turned down and the game was about to come on. I came with a big bowel of strawberries and a bowl of sugar to dip them in. I’m smooth sometimes, she had to sit next to me to get to the sugar. We joked around during the game and after we had finished the strawberries she cuddled up next to me complaining about being cold. I sat still for a minute, my heart racing. I was trying to think of the best way to do this. Finally, I just went for it.
I reached down and put my hand under her chin, slowly raising her face to look at me. She said “What’s up? I’m trying to watch the game.” I didn’t say a word, I leaned down and kissed her deeply. My tongue slid into her mouth and she kissed me back. It was absolutely perfect, exactly how I dreamed it. I ran my hand up her side and cupped one of her breasts. Then suddenly she pushed me away. She gasped and looked at me for a second and jumped up running out of the room. I tried to yell after her “Jennifer, wait…” But she was gone. I didn’t know what to think. The kiss was amazing, and she kissed me back so she definitely liked it. I was so confused that I didn’t even turn off the projector and just headed up to bed.
Lost in thought as I was walking by her room I could hear talking but couldn’t make out what she was saying. I slipped into the storage closet and moved the stack of boxes blocking my hole. I pushed my eye up against it and Jennifer’s room came into view. My eye darted back and forth trying to find her. I could still hear her voice, it sounded like she was sitting in the bathroom and talking to someone on the phone. She sounded, scared? Im not sure what’s going on but I decided I wasn’t going to find out this way. I covered the hole and left the room, being extra careful to close the door softly. I headed down to my room still lost in thought. When I went through the door I stood still for a second not sure what to do. I wasn’t tired, but I felt like I wanted to curl up in my bed. I had butterfly’s in my stomach making me feel sick. After dragging myself to my computer chair I flopped down. “She’s going to hate me forever, I ruined everything.” I said to myself. I just dazed off for a while.
I heard her door close, and footsteps. She was coming this way. I got up and shuffled over to my bed hoping she would come in and want to talk. I listened as she approached. I got more tense with every step she took. She was right in front of the door. I could imagine her hesitating and raising her hand to knock. Then I could hear her sigh and she started to walk back down the hall. About two minutes later I heard her door close. That was it for the night, I fell asleep shortly after trying to figure things out.
The next morning I got up like usual, got dressed and headed downstairs. Still a little foggy headed and full of sleep I wondered into the kitchen looking for breakfast. There was a plate on the bar with eggs and bacon and a glass of orange juice. Jennifer was nowhere to be seen. The food was fresh and still warm and I could smell her body wash in the air. I sat down at the bar and ate my food in silence, it was kind of earie. As I was eating my breakfast my mind kept drifting back to the night before and how perfect it was followed by how horrifically it ended. After my meal I got up and rinsed the dishes and loaded them into the dishwasher taking note that there was another plate and glass there as well. She didn’t want to eat with me. I started to wonder if she planned on doing our lessons today. I guess we will find out, I headed out of the kitchen and down the hall to the little study that we used as a classroom.
Jennifer was there writing on the dry erase board. She didn’t hear me come in and I snuck up behind her very quietly. When I got to my desk I picked up a book and slammed it down. It hit the table with a loud “THUD” She jumped and spun around holding her chest. I started laughing but she didn’t. She said sternly “Michael! That’s unacceptable! You scared me, now sit down and get out your notebook.” I was stunned by her brashness, that was our game, how could she get angry with me for playing. Hurt I sat down and took out my notebook. This was going to be a very long class day.
After we covered all of our subjects without any of our normal joking, she said thank you and headed out of the room. I couldn’t believe it, she wasn’t going to talk to me anymore, I really did ruin everything. My mind started spinning, my heart was beating out of my chest, and I thought I was going to pass out again. I took some very deep, calming breaths hoping that would bring me down off of the ledge. But as I came down, I grew more and more angry. Was she actually rejecting me? After all of the fun we had how could she possibly just cut me out of her life? My vision started to fade over, my breathing became very deep and all I could think was how I needed to hurt something, now. A slew of images shot through my mind, images of Jennifer naked and of peeling the skin off of a small animal. I could feel the blood on my skin and smell its coppery essence in my nose.
When I started to come out of the haze I was standing outside of the fort with my jacket on. I didn’t remember leaving the house or walking through the woods, but there I was. My legs started moving but it didn’t feel like I was doing it. I could see everything but it felt like somebody else was in my body. I watched as I moved around the front of the shed and walked in through the door. The tarp was pulled back down into the hole but this time I could hear something moving around down there. I started to get really excited. Still just watching myself move through the fort with intent, like I had some sort of plan, I was thinking about how awesome it was to have a new toy to play with. I pulled the toolbox out and opened it up. Surveying the instruments inside I nodded my head, this should be perfect I thought. A little shiver went up my spine, “I felt that!” I tried to regain control but I couldn’t, it looks like I was just there for the ride.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Walking back outside, I was trying to find a way to immobilize the beast so that I could get him out without getting bit. I found some pretty big rocks and thought that I could drop them on it and hopefully knock it out. I gathered up a few pretty heavy rocks and brought them in to the fort. I set them down right next to the hole and finally peek over the edge to see what I caught. I wanted it to be the coyote but I didn’t care if it was something else. I just wanted to play with something. The hole was full of the tarp and pacing back and forth on top of it was a coyote. I was elated. It looked at me angrily, spit dripped from the side of it mouth and it growled up at me. It didn’t like me at all. I smiled at the beast, just then it jumped. It came about a foot out of the hole and tried to grab at the edge with its paws. It flailed for a second but the dirt gave away and it slid back down into the hole. From the look of the edge of the hole it had tried this a few times. I heard myself laugh out loud at the creature. It was going to be a great day.
I inspected my assortment of rocks, listening to the beast below snarl and growl at me. I decided to go with the smallest of the rocks because it had some good sharp corners on it. I didn’t want to kill the thing, I just wanted it unconscious. I lifted it above my head and timed it, I could feel my body making small adjustments waiting for just the right time to let go. Then I watched from inside my head as I slammed the rock down. It flew through the air and crashed into the head of the thing. It made a little yipping sound and fell to the ground. I watched it writhe around a bit and then slowly get back to its feet. It had a pretty big gash on its head and blood matted the fur around it. I felt my body tense up when I saw the blood and at that moment I couldn’t wait any longer. I grabbed the largest rock, it was heavy and porous, I shouldn’t have been able to lift it but I got it above my head and aimed. I tossed it down and watched as it smashed into the coyote. This time there was no sound. The thing collapsed and didn’t move at all. Worried it was dead already I hoped down into the pit with no regard whatsoever.
Putting my hand on its side I could feel its body still moving from its breath, what a relief. I would have been very upset if it was already gone. It was bleeding badly and I resisted the urge to pay with the wound. I wrapped it up in the tarp and figure I could heave it out with it. I clambered back out of the hole and reached down to grab the bundled ends of the tarp. I pulled hard just realizing how heavy the thing was. After about ten minutes of struggling with the tarp I felt the weight ease off as the body rolled over the edge of the hole. Now I had to come up with some way to make sure the thing couldn’t move while I was having my fun.
I unwrapped it from the tarp and drug it to the table. I laid the tarp over the table and made a floor out of it some four feet around the table. I then drug the heavy thing over and wrestled it up onto the table. I considered breaking all of its legs to keep it stationary but I wasn’t sure how much pain it would take before it woke up and came at me. After thinking hard about what to do I decided that I should just take its life before it woke up, it would be the safest way but completely unsatisfying. One of the best parts was watching the life drain out of its eyes. I was lost in thought and didn’t notice that its tail had started to twitch. I went to pull my pocket knife out of my pocket, we have had some good times me and that knife. As I was fumbled in my pocket I felt an incredible pain shoot through my arm. I screamed and my head jerked to look at the coyote biting down on my wrist. I tried to struggle but the more I pulled back the harder it bit into my arm. A million thoughts rushed through my mind. I could see the points where its teeth sank into my arm, I could see my flesh tearing, I could smell its breath and the look in its eyes was terrifying. Blood and spit rolled around my wrist and dripped onto the table. It was trying to get to its feet, why didn’t I break them? I reached down to my side and found one of the rocks. With one swift motion I swung the rock around and made contact with the top of the coyotes head. I watched in almost slow motion as the rock came down on it, I saw its eyes close and it loosened its grip a bit but still latched on. I took another heavy swing, then another, I couldn’t stop. It had let go and I continued bashing its skull in. I watched as its eyes rolled up into its head and its skull fractured into tiny chunks. I was so filled with pure hatred and anger that I couldn’t stop. When I was finally done you couldn’t tell there was a head there anymore.
I stepped back and shook off the haze that had come over me. I was back in control and bleeding profusely from my arm. Though I could hardly feel it. The thing got out a lot easier than I had wanted. I was still holding the rock, covered in blood and dripping on the floor of my fort. I grabbed a roll of paper towels that I keep to clean up “messes”. I wrapped the towels around my arm and took some duct tape and tightened it around the towels. I still had work to do before I could go home and clean up, plus I wanted to wait until I knew everyone would be in bed so that I could take care of these clothes.
After making sure I wasn’t going to bleed through my makeshift bandages, I went back to the bloodied lump of fur on the table. It had bled a lot onto the table and the floor, it’s a good thing that I had covered everything with the tarp. I petted the little guy for a minute thinking about what I wanted to do with him. I started pulling the bone fragments out of his skull. I put a few of them in my pocket, I’ll find something to do with them. Then I had an idea. First, I wanted to see what his muscles looked like, he was the largest creature Ive gotten to play with so far and I wanted to enjoy it. I took my knife out and flipped it open. Its incredibly sharp, I did a lot of research online and I sharpen it every time I use it. I had become a lot better at removing the skin from things sense the bunny. I made cuts around its neck, each of the legs and its tail. One long cut down its mid-section from the neck to the tail I start pulling it apart at the middle using my knife to cut through all of the sinew. I’m trying hard to concentrate and stay present as long as I can, but after a few minutes of feeling the warm muscle and watching the blood pour out over my hands I got lost again. The feeling of perfection came and along with it the happiest I had been in weeks. I proceeded to forget about what had happened with Jennifer. The pain from the bite was gone. The dog behind the church was good, but this is amazing. It’s so beautiful.

[Jake.Ashworth]

I finished peeling the skin off of the carcass and stood back for a second to admire it. The creature was perfect. It had so much muscle and was so strong. I went over and ran my fingers along its forelegs, over its side and down its rear legs. I loved the way it felt under my fingers, the muscles where slick and slimy but they were hard at the same time. I lowered my face to the body and smelled the raw flesh. It was a gamey sent, full of musk and hard odors. I loved it, I was tempted to taste it, but the little bit of rational thought I had left was worried about rabies. I rested my cheek on the still warm meat and rubbed it back and forth. I decided that I wanted to make an example of it. I cut into its chest and soaked my hands in its blood. After I was satisfied that I had enough all over me I went to the doorway and ran my blood covered hands and arms over the logs that made up the doorway. I think that will do as a warning.
My head was buzzing, the feeling of the blood all over my skin was the most amazing thing I could have ever wanted. I lifted my hands to my face and wiped them over it, rubbing the wet slimy blood all over until I was completely coated. A pleasure I had never felt before shot through my body like a jolt of electricity. There were vivid colors bursting in my vision. The feel, the smell, everything about this moment enveloped me. I took a long, deep breath and then, I was out.
My eyes opened, my vision completely blurry, I couldn’t quite make out where I was. As my senses started to come back to me I realized that I was standing in the shower. The last thing I remembered clearly was standing in the fort covered in blood. My heart was still pounding and I looked out of the shower and noticed bloody footprints on the bathroom floor. “Oh no, did I track blood through the entire house!?!” I hurried to scrub the blood off of my body, when I lifted my arm a pain shot through my body so hard I almost lost my footing. My eyes caught the makeshift bandage on my arm and the memories started flowing back to me. I pulled the duct tape loose carefully trying not to pull on the paper towels yet. My entire arm throbbed with pain. Every time it would throb little explosions of light, like fireworks would blur my vision. I got the duct tape off and started unwinding the towels. For every layer I took off the towels turned more and more red. I got to the last layer, it was stuck to the wounds, and there were a lot of them. I tried pulling it loose but the blood had dried and it felt like I was ripping my skin off. I clenched my teeth and put the arm into the warm water. It stung like nothing I had ever felt. It was amazing, I could remember getting bit but I don’t remember it hurting much at all at the time. The water soaked through the bandage and started to loosen it. The puddle at my feet was dark red. I watched the bandages fall away and examined the little tooth holes left by that damn coyote. There were eight on top and it looked like six on bottom. They were very deep and spread open. I rinsed them as thoroughly as I could stand. The pain finally started to subside, or I started to get used to it.
I stepped out of the shower and went to the medicine cabinet. Sifting through the band aids and tums I found what I was looking for. I collected gauze, Neosporin, and an ace bandage. Very carefully I bandaged up my wounds and swallowed a handful of ibuprofen. I looked over myself in the mirror trying to make sure that I didn’t miss any of the blood in my hair or on my chest. I caught my own eyes in the mirror and got right up against it. I looked different, something looked different. I shook off the weird feeling and as I did I remembered the footprints.
I was trying to piece together the puzzle that was that evening. My clothes and shoes are bundled up in the corner, I will have to remember to bag those and burn them. It’s funny, nobody ever notices that I buy a lot of new clothes for someone who doesn’t leave the house. I decided that I needed to trace my way back from my room to the front door and make sure that I didn’t leave anything behind.
It was dark outside but I had no clue what time it was. I flipped on my computer monitor and looked at the little clock. It said 4 am. Wow, this time I lost at least a few hours. What was I doing? I can’t remember anything past taking the skin off of the little bastard. Well at least nobody would be awake. I opened my door and walked out into the dark hallway. Paying close attention to the floor I walked very slowly down the hall. I didn’t see any blood on the floor at all, but I did come across a couple of bloody hand prints on the walls. I walked down the hall to the storage closet to grab some rags and cleaning chemicals. I looked through all of the stuff in there and found a couple of microfiber towels that nobody would miss and a spray bottle of some sort of lemony cleaner. I was just getting ready to go back out when I thought about the hole in the wall.

[Jake.Ashworth]

I set down my cleaning supplies and moved the items in front of the hole. Pressing my eye up to the hole I strained to see anything. The light in Jennifer’s bathroom was on but everything else was dark. I looked toward her bed and could see her under the covers. She was covered to the waist and wearing a Winnie the Pooh sleep shirt. I could see her breasts move up and down with every breath she took. “Will you ever forgive me?” I whispered. I moved everything back the way it was and grabbed my supplies and quietly left the closet.
After scrubbing the walls clean I continued down the stairs cleaning more blood from the handrail as I went. In the kitchen by the back door there was a little puddle of what looked like blood mixed with water. I got down on my knees to clean it up and the smell hit me, I peed here. I felt the blood rush into my cheeks. I was so embarrassed even though there was no one around and no one would ever know. The rags wouldn’t be enough for this, I went to the linen closet in the downstairs hall and got a large bath towel. I cleaned everything up to the point that you would never know it was there.
It was going on 5 a.m. and I was exhausted. I decided that I had done the best I could do and it was time to get some sleep. I wrote a note for Jennifer and stuck it to the dry erase board in the class room. It read:
Jennifer,
I am feeling very sick today and I don’t think I can do class. Please just
take the day off. I will be in my room resting.

Love,
Michael

I then headed upstairs. After getting back into my room, I cleaned up all of the blood in my bathroom and bagged the clothes and towels up. I set them in the corner of my room, I will take care of them tomorrow. For now I just wanted to sleep. I stripped down and climbed into bed. Im not sure I dreamed at all that night, but I slept hard.
I woke up around noon the next day. Groggy I rolled out of bed and got ready for the day. Unable to really think about much I brushed my teeth, pulled on some clothes and walked downstairs to the kitchen hunting for food. When I got down there I was surprised to see my note exactly where I had left it and there was no sign that Jennifer had made any food. I pulled out the cocoa puffs and made myself a bowel. Everything was so quiet. It was really earie. I sat slurping my food and thinking about the day before trying to recover some of my memories. For some reason I couldn’t get anywhere. I was really anxious to see how I had left the fort and the thing I had played with. I stood up to drop my bowl back into the sink and when I turned around Jennifer was standing there. She had just come downstairs and had her coat on like she was going somewhere. “Oh, hi…” I said. She smiled a little and said “Im going into town to run some errands, do you need anything?” I answered “Could you get me some Alka-Seltzer, Im really not feeling well.” She nodded and we stood there awkwardly. I started to say “Hey, are we ok?” but as I was saying it I noticed a couple drops of blood on the wall next to her. I only got out “Hey, are we…” and then I kind of trailed off. I walked around her to where the spots were just as she was responding “I don’t know Michael, what happened is not ok.” I put my back to the spots and said “I know but I think I might be in love with you.” She looked like that troubled her. She said “Michael, you’re too young to know what that really is. You aren’t even a man yet.” That hit me hard and an image flashed through my mind of screaming at her body as it lay at my feet. “I, I, I’m” I couldn’t form a complete thought and she turned and headed out the door. I felt so angry. I just needed to go out and explore my fort and try to get through this day.
I put on my jacket and my gloves and headed out the back door. I walked out into the woods, feeling pretty good for the day. I walked past the shed, through the woods, into the clearing and as I rounded the corner of the doorway to my fort I banged my arm against it. Pain shot through me and I let out a little scream. I rubbed it softly waiting for the pain to subside. When it finally did I went the rest of the way inside. I was expecting the worst, blood splattered on the walls, guts everywhere. But I found nothing. Not even the hole. I had this really weird feeling like I had missed a lot. I started looking around. The blood I smeared on the doorway was still there but now that it was dried it just looked like dark brown paint. The table was clean and there was no sign of the tarp or the coyote. The ground where the hole was, was very soft. So I must have cleaned up and buried everything in there. Hanging from a string next to the squirrel head that I hung up from the ceiling where a couple of small bone fragments that I remember putting in my pocket the day before. It looks like I am starting a new collection. I felt really good about what I had found and remembered that I needed to burn the clothes I had bagged up from last night, so I headed home again.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Ok, so chapter 6 was long. I think I need to shorten the chapters and get more out of the book.

Special announcement for any reading this thing. The first draft is done. It feels really good. I plan on going over it and making some changes, maybe adding a little more character depth in places. What yall are getting a a very rough first draft. After I rewrite it I will send it off to my editor friend and see if we cant make it easier to read. *****AGAIN IM NOT AN AUTHOR*****

Thanks everyone, you'll continue to get regular updates.... even if none of you will give me feedback.

Jake

[Jake.Ashworth]

I an attempt to get some feedback on how I should try to publish in the near future I posted a poll. I would just like to know how many people think this would be something they would purchase. Im trying to figure out if I am doing this just for me, or if I should try to get it out there.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Chapter 7
There were some big changes in my life the next couple of weeks. Jennifer fell into a roll of basically teacher and nothing else. I continued my lessons without any of the fun we used to have. I changed my bandages every day and it seemed like the wounds were starting to heal. I was nervous about rabies but it appears to not be a problem. I kept it clean so that it wouldn’t get infected. Everything else just kept moving forward. I still wanted Jennifer to love me, and a part of me hated her for not even trying. I put so much effort into building a relationship with her. I thought we were going to be something really special.
I saw mother a couple of times, once in the kitchen getting a snack. She hugged me, but she looked like she had been crying for days. Her eyes were sunken into her head and there were huge black rings around them. Her cheeks were wet with tears and when she hugged me I could feel her bones through her skin. She smelled pretty bad, like she hadn’t showered in days. I was really worried about her but she refused to stay out of her room. She refused to spend any time with me at all.
“Im alone.” I said to myself in the mirror one boring afternoon. I tried to think about all of the things that had happened in my life in the last couple of years but everything just felt like a blur of images and false memories. I have been missing a lot of time lately. Sometimes I didn’t even remember having lessons. Most of the time I felt like a stranger in my own head. I could hear my voice telling me things. It almost felt as though I was teaching myself. When I would find a new creature to play with, I would fall into a feeling of absolutely wonder and perfection as I took it apart and examined every little bit of it. Although I knew I was alone, I felt like I was always with me. I didn’t need anyone else because I could disconnect and live inside my head.
Yeah, that worked sometimes, but I really missed spending more time with Jennifer. I still had hope even though I knew that it could never be. I still missed my mother’s occasional touch. But knowing that they were there made things a little easier to deal with.
I started to talk to people online to try and replace my time with Jennifer. But I realized that other kids my age had completely different interests. I wanted to talk about anatomy, and learn new methods. Knowing that I couldn’t tell people about my habit. I read a study once that said that killing animals could be a precursor to killing people. I have had some thoughts like that before, but I don’t think I could make the move to people. Although I am incredibly intrigued by the human body. I haven’t had much physical contact with people in a long time and I almost forgot how nice it is to feel a new person’s skin under my finger.
I started joining boards for college students looking to join the medical field and got some excellent research out of that. In my searching through different boards and following suggestions of people who I thought seemed like minded I stumbled into a snuff chat room. When I first opened the page I saw an image of a girl’s body on the floor, bloody coming from her neck, eyes wide open and a man was fucking her. I was immediately interested. I clicked through to the chat board and realized there are a ton of people talking about this stuff. I might have found somewhere that I can meet people who have the same mindset as me. I suddenly felt a lot less lonely, these people understood.
At first I just watched during almost all of my free time. I read as people laid out what they would like to do to each other. I was completely absorbed in learning more about these people. I read a ton of stories and loved to watch the seedy videos that this group put together. This managed to fill all of the pieces that fell out of my life when mother and Jennifer seemingly hated me.
I remember the first time I spoke on there very clearly. I was reading as two men spoke to a young lady about how they wanted to abduct her and force her into all of these different situations. They talked about how they would pick her up and where they would take her. They spoke about all of the things they wanted to do to her, and she loved it, she was following right along. After an hour or so of talking they came to the end and reached out to the board for ideas on how to dispatch her. I didn’t hesitate at all, I chimed in with “Tie her up by her ankles, run a sharp blade from her pussy to her neck. Make sure she can’t close her eyes so that she can see her insides pour out and over her face as she slowly fades out.” I smiled ear to ear as I received applause and props for my suggestion. I felt so proud of myself. I also felt like I would do anything to see that happen, to do it exactly as they did. I got up from the computer feeling tingly all over and day dreaming all of the things I had just read and slunk over to my bed. I have no clue what time it is, pretty sure it’s really early but I feel exhausted. I fell into bed in my clothes and slept hard.
I continued these afternoons and evenings on the computer. I started to interject more and more and eventually started coming up with ideas of my own and leading some chats. To everyone on the board I was Steven L, a 34 year old living somewhere in the Midwest. I kept everything I could about me under wraps. I am sure they would boot me if they knew how young I actually was, what place did a 12 year old have messing around with this kind of thing.
Some time had passed, I don’t know how much, most of my days were identical. I did make the occasional excursion out to the fort to add some bone fragments to my collection. I was getting pretty efficient at hunting and trapping small animals. And I still loved to watch them die, but now I had a new interest, one that I could share with a select group of people. Then one day I got up and went downstairs for my lesson and Jennifer wasn’t there. She wasn’t on time, nor did she come down at all. I sat in my chair and waited for 20 minutes. Then I decided to go to her room and see if she was ok. I said to myself “Maybe she’s sick, and she just forgot to leave me a note.” I walked upstairs and knocked on her door. Nothing, I called out “Jennifer, are you ok?” Still nothing. Feeling a little bit nervous I decided to go into the room. Thinking she might be in the shower, I didn’t want to just barge in so I went into the guest room next to hers to see if I could hear the shower. It wasn’t running and there was no sound coming from her room. I walked through the open bathroom door and into her bedroom. Out of my peripheral vision as I went through the bathroom I caught a glimpse of the counter and noticed that it was clear.
She was gone. She was completely gone. I fell into a panic and ran through the room. All of her clothes, her shoes, her books, everything had been cleared out. I couldn’t believe she left without saying anything to me. Tears started to roll down my cheeks when a voice rang out inside of my head “Shut the fuck up baby! She didn’t care about you, she probably hated your guts.” I shook my head “She loved me.” I said out loud. I noticed a small note pad on the bed with something written on it. I walked over to it a little shaken and not wanting to read it. But I picked it up and read through it paying close attention to all of the details and noting the sound of desperation in her writing.
Michael,
I know you’ll find this before anyone else does. I have left food for the rest of the week in the refrigerator, hopefully your mom will find someone to replace me by then. I know this is probably confusing to you, but I can’t get passed what happened. If you were older we would be together. I had such great times with you. But it is wrong, in so many ways. When you kissed me, I couldn’t restrain myself and I almost did something I would have really regretted. After thinking about it for the last few months and looking around at other opportunities I have decided to take a live in nanny job with a family on the West Coast. I’m sorry for leaving you like this, but I can’t be there anymore. Please tell your mother that I have gone and ask her to find someone new. Tell her I will not be needing my last check and that I wish her the best. I also wish you the best, I hope you can understand and find a way to forgive me.

You’re Friend,
Jennifer

[Jake.Ashworth]

I was lost, I felt something jerk in my chest and I felt my head spin a bit. I didn’t know what to think and I really didn’t know what to do. I sat on her bed and cried until my eyes hurt. I loved her with all of my heart and she betrayed me, she never loved me back. She must have just been playing me for the paycheck this entire time. I can’t believe I would let myself get fooled so easily. My vision blurred and went red, the world felt like a dream. I got up slowly, cheeks still dripping tears, and walked back through the room. The air felt like water, like it was hard to walk and everything moved slowly. My mind was racing though. I kept trying to think of ways to get back at her, but she was on the other side of the country. I wanted to kill something but I had nothing to kill. I stopped walking, took some real deep breaths and tried to clear my head. The haze pulled back slowly uncovering my vision. The liquid feel of the air started to melt away. I think I might be getting the hang of this, I might be able to control this.
After waiting for a little while and making 100% sure that I was thinking clearly, I headed back downstairs to the kitchen to make breakfast and think about what I was going to say to mother. The house felt especially empty now, knowing that Jennifer wasn’t there. I was a little worried about myself, I felt something strange upstairs, like my mind was slipping a little bit. But I moved that to the back of my mind and scrambled myself up some eggs and made toast. I ate contemplating what to say to mother. She was going to assume that I had ran Jennifer off and she would be upset with me. How can I protect myself and make me look like the victim?
I sighed and decided that I needed to just go do it. I hadn’t seen my mother for a while, not sense our run in in the kitchen. I walked down the hall to the bedroom that used to be her and my fathers but was just hers now. I could smell the sadness and desperation as I got closer to the door. I hadn’t really thought about my father much sense the memorial, sense I decided that I didn’t care. But it seems like mom thought about him a lot, I could hear her weeping through the door. I stopped and collected my thoughts, knocking I said “Mom…” I waited a second and heard her moving around. An image ran through my mind of her rushing around the room to clean things up a bit before opening the door. Then I heard the knob move and the door creaked a little as it opened just far enough for her to see me. She said “What’s going on honey, everything ok?” I felt the tears welling up in the corners of my eyes. I said “I need to talk to you, something has happened.” A worried look came across her face. The pain that was already there along with the worry broke loose my tears. She watched silently as I cried. She opened the door the rest of the way and said “Come in my dear, it looks like you need me.”
I couldn’t remember the last time I had actually been in the bedroom. I looked around and noticed how completely ruined it was. The smell and the air was thick. The odor was ripe, and smelled like rotten food and urine. There was food piled all over the floor, in the corners and around the bed. The curtains where drawn tight on the huge floor to ceiling cathedral windows. The four post bed was dingy and the sheets and comforter looked like they hadn’t been changed in years. She had a TV on one wall with a small chair and table in front of it. There was a TV tray sitting next to the chair, which must be where she ate. The drawers to her dresser were left standing open. The door to the bathroom was open too, there was a terrible smell coming from in there. Luckily the room was pitch black and I couldn’t see inside.
Mother cleared a spot on a fancy little couch by the windows that I hadn’t noticed at first because it was covered in dirty clothes. She sat down and patted the spot next to her. I was trying to refrain from making any faces as the smells washed over me. I sat next to her and her eyes got big as she noticed the bandage on my arm she said “What’s happened to your arm little man?” I looked at her and said “Jennifer left over night last night, trying to change the subject. She left a note that just said that she had a great offer in Washington State and couldn’t pass it up. She apologized for how abrupt she left.” Mom closed her eyes for a second and said “You didn’t do anything to her did you?” I felt a little shocked, did she know something? I said “Absolutely not Momma, I cut myself playing in the woods, why would you think that?” “No reason Michael, just had a feeling that there was more to this.” She said. I guess mother’s instinct is a real thing. She gave me a hug and squeezed tight. It felt so good to be in her arms. She said “Its ok buddy, I will make some phone calls and we will find someone else to teach you.” I reluctantly said “Ok Momma, I guess that will work. Thank you, and I love you.” She smiled and said “I love you too little man, now get on out of here and let me make some phone calls. It looks like you get some time off.” I got up and walked out of her room, still smiling from the hug but feeling broken from the loss of Jennifer.
I spent the rest of that week playing on the computer, my toys and games left to figure out how to play by themselves. I thought a couple of times about going out to the fort and finishing the epic battle between the turtles and Shredder, I even went as far as to get dressed and my shoes on but just before going out I decided to just check and see if anyone was online. Then I got lost in that devious little world fantasizing about how much I would love to be involved.
I was responsible for feeding myself and getting in and out of bed, sense even though she knew I was alone, mother never came out of her room. One evening I went downstairs to make some dinner, and by that I mean put some pizza rolls in the microwave, and I saw a note sitting on the counter. My exploded, the first thought that shot through my mind was that Jennifer had changed her mind and come home. I ran over to the note and immediately recognized my mother’s perfect handwriting. It was short and to the point.
Michael,
I found somebody willing to move into the house and take over teaching you and cooking for us. She seems very nice. Her name is Edith and she should be here Sunday to move in. Please be respectful and show your manners.

Love,
Mom
Edith sounded like an old ladies name, I didn’t like the sound of that. I folded the note up and stuck it in my pocket. Looking at the calendar we keep stuck to the refrigerator, I said “Three days left to enjoy myself. This should be fun.” Just then the Ding went off telling me that my pizza rolls were done and I grabbed them and jetted back up to my room.
The following three days went by like a blur. I spent them all upstairs staring at the computer and registering everything that came across the screen. Every time I had a great idea, I would start a story line and wait for a couple other people to join in. I loved this, it was so satisfying. I started talking one on one to a couple of guys who were very nice and who played along with my fantasies. One of them, Johnny, seemed to come from exactly the same place I did. I told him every dark fantasy I had. He was the only person on this chat that knew my real age. I didn’t tell him anything else because I know better that to trust a stranger. We talked every day, he told me everything he dreamed of and I told him everything that came to mind. I even told him about my experiences with the animals, but I told him them as fantasies. I didn’t need him to think I was actually crazy.
As the days went on, the wounds on my arms healed to the point that I didn’t need the bandages anymore. The scars were going to be very noticeable though, the story I told mom about getting cut up in the woods should work to cover it though. It was so hard to resist picking at the scabs so that I could see that fresh blood underneath. But I restrained knowing that the more I messed with them, the harder it would be to cover them up. Plus Sunday was right around the corner and I wanted to look my best for Edith. I was still nervous about her, but only when I wasn’t distracted with my new game.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Chapter 8
Today was the day, I woke up nervous. What if she’s terrible? What if she hates me at first site? What if she doesn’t know how to cook? I got up and got myself showered and dressed. I put Band-Aids over my “cuts” and splashed on a little cologne. I went downstairs to make breakfast and wait, not having any idea what time she would be arriving. I munched down some cereal and decided to watch TV in the living room. I hadn’t turned the TV in the living room on in months if not years, having one in my room and the big projector in the media room made the living room TV seem pointless. But I sat on our huge couch and flipped through the channels trying to find something to kill the time.
I heard a knock at the front door, I must have fallen asleep for a couple hours trying to suffer through some of the disgusting drivel that comes out of the TV. I jumped up and straightened my clothes. As I ran to the door I stopped at the mirror by the coat rack in the foyer and checked my hair. Then I opened the huge door, a small woman in her 50’s was standing there a suitcase no bigger than a computer bag sitting on the stoop next to her. I smiled wide and stuck out my hand, “I’m Michael, you must be Edith.” She smiled sweetly and took the glove off of her hand in order to shake mine. She said “Well Michael, its wonderful to meet you. I suppose we will become good friends. Is your mother home?” I stepped aside and let her in. She came through the door and I offered to take her jacket and bag. She seemed really nice so far, she may not be as fun as Jennifer but at least she didn’t seem mean.
We walked to the living room and I showed her to the couch. She said “This is an amazing house Michael.” I nodded and said “Yeah, dad bought it for us a while before he passed away.” She frowned “Im so sorry Michael, I didn’t know.” I shook my head and said “Don’t worry about it, he wasn’t around much so I’m not sure it really affected me much.” She looked like she understood and dropped it. “Well I suppose I should meet your mother and have a proper introduction.” I was nervous about her seeing mother and her hiding place so I decided to tell her about it. “Well Edith, it is ok if I call you by your first name right ma’am?” God I’m good at being a good kid. She nodded and I went on “Mother is a very quiet secluded person. She only comes out occasionally, she will take most of her meals in her room. My father’s death as seriously affected her.” Edith seemed to understand but still said “Ok, but I really should meet her in person, its only right.” I went on to explain the condition that she is in and the condition that she lives in. I also warned her not to ask her about any of it because mother gets very defensive.
I asked her to stay there while I went ahead to tell mother that she was going to come and introduce herself. I’m sure Edith was very confused and somewhat concerned at all of this, but I had to protect my mother and make sure that everything went smoothly. I knocked on mother’s door and when she opened it I explained that Edith wanted to meet her. Mother said “That sounds good, I will meet her at dinner tonight.” I smiled a huge real smile and said “Your coming to dinner!?!” She laughed a little, god that was an amazing sound, and said “Yeah I’ll have dinner with you guys tonight, you know what I like, we will see how she can cook.” And with that she retreated back into her room presumably to get ready.
I returned to the living room to find Edith exactly where I had left her. I told her that mother was laying down and said that she would meet us for dinner. I asked “Would you like me to give you the grand tour and show you to your room?” She smiled that sweet grandmother smile and nodded her head again. I took her bag and led her through the main floor showing her the kitchen, mother’s library, the study, the media room, and the long hall that mothers room was at the end of. We went up the huge flight of stairs at the front of the house. I explained to her that I normally use the back door and stairs but this is the main one. I walked her through the halls for a moment showing her our 8 guest bedrooms and all of the beautiful art that the house was decorated with. She gasped and said “This is all so beautiful, I grew up in a very small little house.” I told her “I have been in this house for a long time, I don’t really like to leave the property. People make me nervous. Father bought 500 acres and I know all of them like the back of my hand.” She said “Well maybe I will have you take me around a bit sometime, I love to teach outside.” I think I could get used to Edith, I hope she stays this nice.
We walked down the hall that led to our rooms. I opened the door that belonged to her and showed her inside. She looked around in wonder. I walked across the room and tossed her bag gently onto the bed. I told her “You have your own bathroom and shower. This room connects to the guest room next door through the bathroom, but you can lock that door. Nobody has ever used that room.” Thinking back to the time I had watched Jennifer shower from that room. In the background of my daydream I heard Edith say “Michael, are you going to continue the tour or just stand there all day?” I shook my head hard and apologized “Im sorry Edith, this room brings back some memories for me, I don’t come in here much anymore.” She smiled and I stepped past her to continue the tour.

[Jake.Ashworth]

So far I pointed out every door we walked by but I tried to avoid the storage closet next to Edith’s room. It didn’t work, as we walked by she said “What’s in hear?” I turned around and told her “Oh, that’s just storage, we keep some cleaning stuff in there but mostly just junk.” She said “Oh I see, not important, onward!” We kept walking and I told her about how my father had passed away and the memorial and how beautiful it was.
We walked up to my door and I opened it. We stepped inside, I said “This is my room, I spend a lot of my free time between here and the woods outside.” I guess I kind of like to be alone.” She smiled and said, trying to sound cool “I can’t believe you have so much stuff, this is pretty cool.” I nodded my head “Yeah, I guess we have a lot of money and I just buy the things I want.” She walked around my room a little bit. As she moved passed my computer I noticed the monitor was on and the chat screen was open. She was looking at my TV and games, back to the computer. I walked over and pointed toward my bathroom, “You should see how big the bathroom is, it’s great.” She said “Oh” and started walking over to the door. After she moved away I slid in and flipped off the monitor real fast. She poked her head in and said “Oh my! It is huge. That shower…” and she trailed off, she turned around and said “Michael, are you ok?” I felt my face flush and my brow wrinkle “Yeah, Im fine, how come?” She said “There is quite a bit of blood in the sink in there, did you cut yourself?” I stumbled over my words a little. I didn’t remember any reason for there to be blood in there. I didn’t cut myself and I haven’t gone hunting in a while. “Yeah, I uh, I cut myself playing in the woods.” I held up my arm with the Band-Aids on it. She frowned “You have to be careful, the woods can be a dangerous place.” I laughed “Yeah, I tripped and fell on some barbed wire. There are a lot of old property lines out there and a lot of the fences have fallen over.” That should cover the lie pretty good. She looked like she accepted it and walked toward the door to leave.
As we walked downstairs and back to the kitchen I told her all of the things mom loved. I explained that she was responsible for meals and that she should always have things mother likes available just in case mother comes out to eat with us. But when she eats in her room like she does most nights, she just wants frozen dinners. No matter if she ate with us or by herself dinner was to be served at exactly 6:45 p.m. every night. Edith listened intently trying to absorb all of the information I was throwing at her.
When we got to the kitchen she thanked me and said “That was a great tour, I think we are going to get along just fine. I’m going to get to work, why don’t you go get cleaned up?” I said “Absolutely, I’m so excited mother is coming to dinner, you’ll love her.” She reached out to shake my hand and I gave her a big hug. I felt her tense up and then relax. I think she likes me.
I ran back upstairs and left her to cook. I felt pretty good about my new teacher, it seemed like we would get along fine. She might not be much to look at, but I guess that’s what the internet is for. That reminded me, I went to the computer and flipped the screen back on. There was a message waiting there for me from Johnny. It was a very detailed recollection of a dream he had the night before. I didn’t have time to read the whole thing now, but I would get to it later. Right now I needed to get cleaned up for dinner. Mother would want me to look my best, she would hate how I normally come to the table. I laid out a nice outfit, not to over the top but respectable. Stripping down I went into the bathroom to clean up and get ready. The water was warm and relaxing, I was feeling pretty good about things, not know that my subconscious mind was making plans and plotting behind my back.
After I was cleaned and fresh, I got dressed and went back down stairs. It was 6:30 when I strolled into the dining room. Mother wasn’t there yet, but she wouldn’t be until exactly 6:45, that is for some reason the only time she believes dinner should exist. Plus if she came early she might have to make small talk to a few minutes and I think that scared her. The Salad was already on the table and the smells flowing through the house were amazing. I couldn’t wait to eat and see if Edith could satisfy mother’s sophisticated tastes. I took my seat and waiting patiently in the silent room. I could here Edith moving around in the kitchen making sure everything was perfect.
A couple minutes later Edith came in with a beautiful Duck roasted to perfection, it smelled awesome. She brought in Yorkshire puddings, roasted herb carrots, and what looked like an exquisite bowl of red potatoes quartered in garlic and butter. I was really impressed. My mouth started salivating and I could barely resist digging in. She asked “What do you think?” I said “It looks perfect, I think mother will be happy.” She asked “Should I go get her?” “Oh no, don’t worry, she will be here at exactly 6:45 like I told you. She is a creature of habit.” I answered. Just then, mother walked into the room. I saw her out of the corner of my eye and immediately got to my feet. “Hi mother!” I said. She smiled at me and said “Wow, this looks great, well done Edith.” Edith smiled at her and just said “Thank you ma’am. That means a lot.” She pulled out mothers chair at the head of the table and slid it back in as she sat down.
Mother looked radiant, as usual. She took my hand and Edith’s and said “Why don’t we pray together?” I was a little confused by this, we had never prayed at the table before. She must have seen the confusion on my face because she said “Michael, I know this is new, but I am going through some things and I feel like I should try to bring faith back into my life. Do you understand?” I smiled at her and bowed my head. I don’t believe in God, or that there is anything after this life. I think that we only have this life and should enjoy it. But I would do anything to make mother happy.
We prayed, it was short and boring as most prayers are. Then Edith served me and mother and then herself. Everything was delicious. Mother complemented Edith on her cooking and said that it was better than Jennifer’s ever was, I completely agree. I could definitely get used to Edith being here. Mother said to her “Well Edith, tell us a little more about you.” Edith said “Gosh, there is a lot to tell, but I will keep it brief. I grew up in Vermont. Went to school to be a teacher, and got my degree. I taught for 20 years but got kind of bored with the classroom. I decided to try private teaching. Got a job with a family in Boston and taught their son for the last 9 years. He moved on to college and I was out of the job. And then, just when I was starting to get worried, you called. I love to teach, I never took a husband and didn’t have kids of my own so this gave me a way to have a family. That’s pretty much me in a nut shell.” Mother seemed pleased by this and said “Perfect, I think you’re going to fit in great here. We don’t expect a ton, just teach Michael and take care of grocery shopping and food. Otherwise we are pretty easy.” During this exchange I was shoving food down my throat, it was so good.
After we finished dinner, mother and Edith continued small talk and I offered to clear the table. I love acting like the perfect gentleman. I got all of the dishes cleared and rinsed them off before I put them in the dishwasher. With mother satisfied with Edith it looked like she was going to be permanent. I was still missing Jennifer, but it didn’t seem so bad now that there was someone else here. Maybe I only needed a woman in my life to take care of the essentials. When I was finished with the dishes I went back into the dining room. As I entered mother was standing to leave. Edith smiled and shook her hand. Mother turned toward me and nodded with a smile signifying that she was good and we would keep her. I returned the nod and walked over to give her a hug. She was the perfect specimen of a woman. So beautiful and her skin was so soft. She had lost a lot of weight but she still looked healthy. She smelled great and moved gracefully. I watched as she headed for the door and out of site.
Edith and myself sat and talked over a couple of glasses of milk and some cookies she apparently had time to make while creating that incredible feast. I said to her “Mother seems very happy with you, I guess we are going to be spending a lot of time together.” She said “Well how do you feel about that?” I thought for a second and smiled saying “Im happy, as long as you’re a good teacher, I think we will have fun together.” She had no idea what was going on behind the façade I was putting up. My mind creating and recreating her death. Although not entirely aware of it at the time, Edith would eventually be my first, and it was going to be a lot of fun. I held a pretty solid conversation with her and image after image of her dangling from the ceiling while I peeled her skin off danced through my imagination. I started to get excited, both mentally and physically. I decided that it was time for bed. Being very careful how I stood up, I shook her hand not wanting to hug her in my current state, and headed for the stairs. Everything seemed perfect, everything seemed to just want to fall into place. A sound in my head kept saying over and over again “I wonder what she feels like under that wrinkled skin.”

[anglewitch]

Man you have a lot of air in you.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Im not sure what that means angle... Is that a good thing or are you saying I talk to much?

[anglewitch]

Don't get offended. I'm the one who talks to much on here really.

That was stupid of me to say that in my last post.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Absolutely no offense taken. If the book comes across long winded I need to know that. Ill have to find places to cut it down. Mind you, I still have about 15 chapters to add.

[anglewitch]

Thanks. I'm writer too. Not an author yet, but hopefully I will be.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Yeah, seems to be a hard world. Luckily its kind of my side thing. I submitted to a couple of agents last week, now the waiting game. Im hoping to draw some feedback from them if anything.

[anglewitch]

Hope people still enjoy sci fi because that what I am writing.

[Jake.Ashworth]

I love sci-fi as long as its kind of gory... unfortunately if blood doesn't cover the walls I lose interest. The only clean sci-fi I ever really got into was "The Dark Tower" from Stephen King. Love that shit!

[anglewitch]

You've lost interest. I'm the H.G. Wells type. :[

[vampyd1977]

as an english graduate and an avid reader i found the sentence structures very basic and regimented, the content varied but felt repetetive. thats just me, and one opinion is not everyones, but im always honest and say what i think.

[Jake.Ashworth]

It's ok, we can't all love everything. I would still read your work for supports sake.

[Jake.Ashworth]

I appreciate that vamp. That's what I need. I have no clue what I'm actually doing so comments like that help me figure out the details. I'll work on it.

[anglewitch]

I like gory stuff just never had the nack of writing it. So I just started writing what I knew best.

[TeddyFreddy]

i found the sentence structures very basic and regimented, the content varied but felt repetetive.

There are some very basic structures in there, I wouldn't have said it was too regimented that i'm sure is a mistake every rookie author makes in an attempt to complete a book for the first time.

I would however be very careful using references to "facebook" and "linkdin" etc as we all know how much trouble the social media super powers can be.

The story line was good, i loved the fact you started straight out with the action.

My 2 issues with it would be...

1 - when you read it, it feels like a constant build up wait for some serious action that never comes. almost cliffhanger ish.

2 - i ran out of pages to read ::big grin::

but otherwise i think you are heading in the "write" direction (see what i did there ::embarrassment::)

i am in no way a professional writer but i am an avid reader, this is just my own opinion.

[JacobCain1971]

Hi Jake,

I managed to make a start on your manuscript last night - and I'll start by echoing what teddy said:

'The storyline was good, i loved the fact you started straight out with the action.'

The first few lines grabs your attention and sets the scene up instantly. As an introduction, I thought you nailed it.

Writing in first person is a difficult one. Don't be scared about going off on a tangent, with some detailed prose in-between the main thread. You don't have to remain in the lead character's head all the time; deviate a little just to break it up.

Good luck with the agent/publisher.

I'll read more - and try to remain objective. ;-)

All the best, Paul.

[anglewitch]

There are some very basic structures in there, I wouldn't have said it was too regimented that i'm sure is a mistake every rookie author makes in an attempt to complete a book for the first time.

I would however be very careful using references to "facebook" and "linkdin" etc as we all know how much trouble the social media super powers can be.

The story line was good, i loved the fact you started straight out with the action.

My 2 issues with it would be...

1 - when you read it, it feels like a constant build up wait for some serious action that never comes. almost cliffhanger ish.

2 - i ran out of pages to read ::big grin::

but otherwise i think you are heading in the "write" direction (see what i did there ::embarrassment::)

i am in no way a professional writer but i am an avid reader, this is just my own opinion.

It made me mad when I ran out of ink in my typewriter. AND IT STILL DOES! ::mad::

[Jake.Ashworth]

All, Awesome feedback. This thing is in first draft form so it is currently where it needs to be to be rewritten. That's the whole reason I started posting it here. I don't know what the hell Im doing ::big grin:: So I figured being here would give me a nudge toward how to rewrite it. Friends are to easy to please, I figured yall would be more honest. The next chapter will go up today or tomorrow. I have the entire thing but this forum wont let me post anything longer than 10k words so it takes a few posts to put up each chapter. The plan is to get it all up here and then take all of the feedback and go back at it.

[anglewitch]

Your welcome. Its going to be great to have you aboard the HDC forum.

[Jake.Ashworth]

I need to branch out into the rest of the forum, Im a huge B-Movie and Cult Movie buff. I love low budget, over the top horror.

[TeddyFreddy]

Your welcome. Its going to be great to have you aboard the HDC forum.

But not as good as having me on here though lol ::big grin::

[TeddyFreddy]

I need to branch out into the rest of the forum, Im a huge B-Movie and Cult Movie buff. I love low budget, over the top horror.

there is loads on here bud, i was shocked when i joined.

[anglewitch]

there is loads on here bud, i was shocked when i joined.

This is the reaction of all taxi dispatchers. ::big grin::

[TeddyFreddy]

This is the reaction of all taxi dispatchers. ::big grin::

Steady on, but there are two of us on here that like the place lol
what is it you do AW??????

[anglewitch]

Bee keeping.

[TeddyFreddy]

Bee keeping.

for real???

[anglewitch]

Yes for real. Your gonna call me insane right?

[TeddyFreddy]

Yes for real. Your gonna call me insane right?

nope, i think it rocks...

[anglewitch]

Awesome. Some people say I am basically insane and they always say these words "Why would want be around stinging insects?!"

[anglewitch]

hey ashwort have you ever written a story with evil bees or evil taxi dispatcher? ::big grin::

[TeddyFreddy]

Awesome. Some people say I am basically insane and they always say these words "Why would want be around stinging insects?!"

Fair play to you. talk about a conversation starter. what do you do for a living, oh i tell taxis where to go 24/7. speaks for itself... what do you do, i keep bee's.... REALLY tell me more.

bee's are cool little protectors of the planet and makers of scrummy honey. do you have any pics???

[anglewitch]

I think I have some pic lets see ah here is one with me and my boss Sam Frogge.

17177 as you can see at the bottom of the screen you can see some hives.



Here is a diagram of a hive body.
17178

[TeddyFreddy]

thats cool, i never knew there was so much to a hive, always thought they were just empty boxes lol....

i have to say it looks amazing where you are, all that woodland. bee keeping and all that woodland, actually quite jealous right now. send me some honey over lol

[anglewitch]

thats cool, i never knew there was so much to a hive, always thought they were just empty boxes lol....

i have to say it looks amazing where you are, all that woodland. bee keeping and all that woodland, actually quite jealous right now. send me some honey over lol

In that picture we are on Fox Mountain in North Carolina I live in the foot hills.

[TeddyFreddy]

In that picture we are on Fox Mountain in North Carolina I live in the foot hills.

just googled fox mountain, looks lush out there.. next your going to tell me yo live in a log cabin.

really jealous right now

[anglewitch]

thats cool, i never knew there was so much to a hive, always thought they were just empty boxes lol....

i have to say it looks amazing where you are, all that woodland. bee keeping and all that woodland, actually quite jealous right now. send me some honey over lol

I'll try to but we don't rob honey until spring can you wait that long?

[anglewitch]

just googled fox mountain, looks lush out there.. next your going to tell me yo live in a log cabin.

really jealous right now

We do have a cabin on Trout lily mountain. You see we live right smack on the piedmont.

[TeddyFreddy]

for some proper honey i can wait.. mmmmmmmm.

you are so lucky to live out there rather than a brick city prison... would give my right arm to come out there.::sad::

[anglewitch]

for some proper honey i can wait.. mmmmmmmm.

you are so lucky to live out there rather than a brick city prison... would give my right arm to come out there.::sad::

Never cared much for the city either first time I went to the city I hated it and I still do! I'll try to get you some sourwood honey its the best sold in N.C.

[TeddyFreddy]

Never cared much for the city either first time I went to the city I hated it and I still do! I'll try to get you some sourwood honey its the best sold in N.C.

i would love you forever lol, i will send you some fresh city smog and rain from over here lol

[anglewitch]

i would love you forever lol, i will send you some fresh city smog and rain from over here lol

LOL, I think I'll pass for now.

[TeddyFreddy]

LOL, I think I'll pass for now.

OK but you dont know what your missing ::wink::

[anglewitch]

Oh yes I do. ::big grin::

I've had my fill from years back.

[anglewitch]

I've been to Charlotte the so called murder capital of the state many times.
not fun at all.
The only reasons I went there were because I was part of a hindu cult (no kidding)
and to go see Danzig.

[TeddyFreddy]

hindu cult??? you one of those been there done that kinda gals lol

[anglewitch]

HEY! I am definitely not a girl! LOL

[TeddyFreddy]

HEY! I am definitely not a girl! LOL

sorry, is a figure of speech from Somerset over here, no offence intended lol

[anglewitch]

No offence taken. ::big grin::

[anglewitch]

I think we ran out of stuff to say. ::big grin::

[Jake.Ashworth]

Ill jump in! Love honey, we have a local keeper not far from the house. He literally just sets mason jars full out on his porch with a box that says $20. Doesn't monitor it or anything, but everyone loves him so everyone pays.

I dispatched cabs in Dallas, I got some of the craziest calls. Had a guy ask me once if I could find a cab that would fit two full grown men in faerie costumes with large clothe wings.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Chapter 9
The first day of classes with Edith were uneventful. I think we were just feeling each other out and trying to figure out where we stood. She was incredibly intelligent and that was refreshing. I felt like I was going to learn a lot more from her than I could have ever learned from Jennifer. I loved learning and absorbing all of the intricacies of what happened in Americas past and the history of the world. It’s amazing how sadistic a lot of the world’s leaders turned out to be. Edith knew how to keep lessons interesting as well. She was great at asking questions and keeping me involved, something difficult to do when there is only one student. While she was teaching occasionally I would zone out and catch myself fantasizing about wonderful things. I would also catch myself answering questions when I wasn’t paying much attention. It seemed like I was either awesome at multi-tasking or there was almost a hole other me in there that would come forward when I was out of my mind enjoying my imagination.
So with the first day in the books, and feeling pretty good about it I headed out to spend some time in the woods. Just as I was getting my coat on I heard Edith call out to me. I turned and she was headed at me sliding her coat on and asking “Michael, are you going to the woods? Do you mind showing me around a little bit?” I hesitated, I really wanted to be alone with my thoughts and maybe find something to play with. But reluctantly I said “Yeah I was just going to go out and wonder around, your welcome to join me.” She smiled and said “Thank you very much kind sir. I look forward to seeing some of this land.” She reached for the door and allowed me to lead the way.
As we walked down the front steps I said “No teaching right? I hate learning when it’s not class time, I like to just enjoy the woods.” She promised “Not a bit. I’m a big fan of just walking and quietly watching nature.” I said “Perfect, there is a lot of it out here, you’ll love it.” I looked across the front yard at the large rock laying in the yard that I had used a month or so ago to crush a small bird. To the right of the rock was a huge tree. A brief flash behind my eyes and I saw Edith hanging from one of the branches by her neck, swinging back and forth slowly. I shake my head, a little confused about why this keeps happening.
We walk across the yard and out into the woods. I show her where the shed and everything around the house is. We talk a little about her life and I tell her about Jennifer. I never mention my love for her and my subsequent rejection. Without really paying attention to where we were going I noticed that we were surprisingly close to the clearing. I could hear my voice get a little panicked but immediately calmed myself down and changed direction to take us to the creek and the rock where Jennifer and I had shared an nice picnic and I had showed her what kind of fish we had in the creek.
Edith loved the creek. I took her up on the flat rock and showed her the ledge and how it jutted out over the creek. Another strange flash and I could see the back of her skull split open as I slammed a large rock down on her head. I watched as she fell over the side and landed in the creek, the sky turned red and the water ran red with her blood. “Michael? Are you ok? What’s going on?” Her voice broke into my daydream. My eyes cleared and the vision passed. I was standing right on the edge of the rock with Edith’s hand on my shoulder. “Wow that was so vivid.” I thought to myself before saying “Yeah, I’m fine, sometimes I daydream a little bit. I have kind of an over active imagination.” She looked concerned and said “Ok, well let’s head back, we have been out here for a while and the sun is starting to set. I need to make dinner for you and your mother.” I agreed and we headed back toward the house.
After following Edith through the door, I headed upstairs and into my room. I sat down on my couch for a moment and thought about the day and all of the times that I felt myself slip into a alternate world. It was a much more fun world but a fake one. I wasn’t sure that I had it in myself to ever take a person’s life, but thinking about it was a great release. I wasn’t sure what was happening to me. I remember feeling confused and a little disoriented sitting there on the couch. The things I kept seeing gave me this feeling of anticipation. I wanted to feel the release, to feel the pure ecstasy that came with watching the life seep out of somebody. The more I thought about it, the more the chills ran down my spine. I got butterflies in my stomach and my skin turned hot. I wanted the feelings that I knew would wash over me when Edith begged me to stop and my blade just kept creeping through her flesh.
“Did someone knock?” I whispered out loud to myself. My eyes opened, I was still sitting on the couch but something felt wrong. I glanced at the digital clock on the DVD player and was shocked to see that it was ten o’clock at night. I must have fell asleep. Then another knock at the door followed by “Michael, are you ok?” I got up and walked over to the door. Opening it I saw Edith standing there with a tray of food. She looked at me and said “You didn’t come down for dinner, I was lonely but figured you had a reason. I thought I would bring you food before I went to bed.” I smiled at her and said “Yeah, I must have fallen asleep, thank you so much for bring me dinner.” She replied “Of course, as long as you’re ok, I’m going to head for bed. That hike wore me out too.” “I’m great now, just tired, and hungry.” I said reaching out to take the tray from her. She said “Goodnight dear.” As I closed the door. I took the food back into the room and sat it on my computer desk.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Wow I lost the whole afternoon, I must have been exhausted. I didn’t even realize I had fallen asleep. I sat down to eat but noticed that the computer monitor was on. My attention was dragged to the window and I saw a conversation that I was having with a young woman by the name of Sarah. The conversation started as most do on this site, with her offering herself to me in full, mind and body. Then it continued on as normal, with me asking her to do things and her sending me pictures of herself performing the tasks. The last picture was of her running a razor blade over her forearm and the blood pouring out over one of her very supple breasts. My last sentence to her was “Very good my beautiful, someday we will meet and I will show you what true pleasure is.” I was terrified. I didn’t remember any of this, the time stamp was just an hour ago. I had this full conversation while I was asleep. It’s to bad too, it was a good one. Then a small voice ringing through my “Soon…” “Soon what?” I said out loud, but there was no answer. For now I will just have to read back through this and enjoy what I had created with Sarah, and eat this nice little dinner Edith had prepared.
After I finished my dinner, I took the tray and the plates back down to the kitchen and put them away. I was a little fuzzy headed trying to understand what was happening to me. Not to mention the amazing conversation I had with Sarah that barely sounded like me at all. She was a beautiful girl, from our conversation, she was around 17 and full of teenage angst. I loved it, I could feel every bit of it as she gave into me. She had a boyfriend that didn’t know about her interest in “this kind of stuff”, her words. She was going to be a lot of fun to play with. I wondered around the first floor of the house aimlessly for a half hour or so. Stopping a couple of times to look down mothers hall way. I hadn’t seen or heard from her sense the other night at dinner. She had gone back into hiding. But that’s ok, as much as I love her attention, I know how to live without it.
The house was so still at night, it was a little creepy. I was walking through the living room admiring the paintings on the wall when out of my peripheral I noticed movement through the window. I stopped in my tracks, an intruder? How did they get over the wall or past the guard shack? I walked slowly up to the window and peeked through to the front yard looking for any signs that I had actually seen something.
The yard was mostly dark. Although as always, the porch light was on, it only shed a small amount of light out into the yard. I could see the tree that Edith had been hanging from in my day dream earlier that day, but just barely. Then what looked like a small head peeking around the corner of the tree vanished as quickly as I noticed it. It was solid white, with no hair and large eyes. Even odder, it looked like it had horns. I was so scared that I started shaking. I walked back from the window very slowly reassuring myself that I imagined what I had seen. It was all fake, that’s the only reasonable explanation. I must be tired. And with that, I turned and ran upstairs as fast as my legs would carry me.
When I got to my room I stripped down to my boxers as quick as I could, pulled the curtains on the huge windows, and dove under the covers. I shivered with the thought of something being just outside the house. Even though I was on the second floor I was convinced that if I looked out the window that emotionless face would be staring back at me. I laid there completely still until I drifted off.
Come morning I managed to convince myself not only was it a dream but I hadn’t come downstairs at all. Even with that in my mind, after we finished lessons I headed outside to look around the tree a little. Of course I didn’t find anything and I decided that I was right. There had been nothing there and I had dreamt the entire event. Although I was very sure, I could hear that voice in the back of my mind say “You didn’t imagine anything, that was me, we will be together soon.”

[anglewitch]

Ill jump in! Love honey, we have a local keeper not far from the house. He literally just sets mason jars full out on his porch with a box that says $20. Doesn't monitor it or anything, but everyone loves him so everyone pays.

I dispatched cabs in Dallas, I got some of the craziest calls. Had a guy ask me once if I could find a cab that would fit two full grown men in faerie costumes with large clothe wings.

Different kinds of honey are expensive, what kind was it?

[Jake.Ashworth]

No clue, he is part of a Romanian church here in town. He lives on the church property and keeps the bees out behind the church.

[anglewitch]

How many different kinds of flowers are around the church, I am willing to say its probably wild flower honey.

[Jake.Ashworth]

There are tons of flowers, all over the property.

[anglewitch]

Wild flower new it. We beekeepers call honey that has nectar and pollen from different kinds of flowers wild flower.

[Jake.Ashworth]

I just know that its delicious and sweet. We use it in a lot of our cooking.

[anglewitch]

I just know that its delicious and sweet. We use it in a lot of our cooking.

Tried it in your coffee yet.
what ever you do don't taste honeydew honey it tastes like burnt axil grease.

[JacobCain1971]

Hi Jake,

Managed the next part of your book last night. Just a few pointers (and i apologise in advance if you already know this, and it's simply the forum's way of displaying text) but you may need to look at how you're setting things out grammatically . . .

Example

One day after class was over she came into my bedroom where I was playing a new game that I ordered from the internet for my playstation. She didn’t like playing games and for some reason wasn’t a fan of me playing them, she said it rotted my mind and killed my creativity. I felt plenty creative. She said “Hey kid! Want to get some pizza and have a movie night?” I replied distracted “Yeah that sounds like fun, can it be horror movies tonight?” She got easily scared and would always sit really close when we watched them. “I guess, it is your turn to pick. Ill order the pizza and come get you when it get here.” she said looking a little nervous about the horror movies. I just nodded my head, completely absorbed in the fantasy world of the game.


Split your body text into more readable snippets. It flows better.

One day after class was over she came into my bedroom where I was playing a new game that I ordered from the internet for my playstation. She didn't like playing games and for some reason wasn't a fan of me playing them, she said it rotted my mind and killed my creativity. I felt plenty creative.
She said, “Hey kid! Want to get some pizza and have a movie night?”
“Yeah that sounds like fun, can it be horror movies tonight?” I replied somewhat distracted. She got easily scared and would always sit really close when we watched them.
“I guess, it is your turn to pick. I'll order the pizza and come get you when it get here,” she said, looking a little nervous about the horror movies.
I just nodded my head, completely absorbed in the fantasy world of the game.

Again, sorry if you already know all this.

Regarding the story, still really enjoying it! :-)

[TeddyFreddy]

Tried it in your coffee yet.
what ever you do don't taste honeydew honey it tastes like burnt axil grease.

ok so this is like an educational lesson for me lol, you put flowers in honey???? sooooo confused right now lol. just thought honey was bee juice.

[JacobCain1971]

ok so this is like an educational lesson for me lol, you put flowers in honey???? sooooo confused right now lol. just thought honey was bee juice.

Bee POO!

[TeddyFreddy]

ewwwww

[anglewitch]

ok so this is like an educational lesson for me lol, you put flowers in honey???? sooooo confused right now lol. just thought honey was bee juice.

No you don't put flowers in the honey, the bees gather the nectar and pollen from flowers which gives the different kinds of honey its different kinds of flavors.
Bee POO!

Damn it, you know better than that!

ewwwww

No need to worry, honey made out of bee "POO", the only kind of honey that is made of "POO" is honeydew honey. Its made from aphid "POO".

[TeddyFreddy]

[QUOTE=
No need to worry, honey made out of bee "POO", the only kind of honey that is made of "POO" is honeydew honey. Its made from aphid "POO".[/QUOTE]

this just gets worse and worse lol

[anglewitch]

this just gets worse and worse lol

Like I said no need to worry honeydew is the only one made out bug shit.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Hi Jake,

Managed the next part of your book last night. Just a few pointers (and i apologise in advance if you already know this, and it's simply the forum's way of displaying text) but you may need to look at how you're setting things out grammatically . . .



Thanks Jacob!

Yeah, there are definitely structuring issues. I have a close friend that is in school in Austin to be an editor, I have sent it to her to help me with the structure and grammar issues. I was only a so so English student. Im glad your enjoying it. Thanks for the pointers. I may post more often now that its done, a couple times a week. Im anxious for the next step, lol.

[anglewitch]

Why don't you try writing a story about pinhead having revenge on the people who are making the remake of hellraiser. Lol

[Jake.Ashworth]

I would love to see a story about the cenobites, something from their side of the box. It would be cool to know what they are doing in their down time. Lol.

[anglewitch]

Another good idea. Lol ::big grin::

[Jake.Ashworth]

Chapter 10
As the days went on through winter and into spring my lessons got smoother and me and Edith seemed to work really well together. She was really very brilliant, and I loved learning from her. I would be turning 13 soon and I could feel myself in the midst of puberty. I was grateful that I didn’t have to go through it in a public school. I continued to play out in the fort when it wasn’t too cold or snowy. It had become difficult to find things to catch after the snow came in. I saw that little face out in the darkness a few more times sense the night that I had convinced myself I hadn’t actually seen anything. I kept getting these urges, almost uncontrollable at times to take Edith’s life. All together I think my hormones were going crazy and I felt like I might be losing grasp.
I was seeing the thing more and more as the days passed, and every time it was a little closer and a little louder in my head. There was one night that I was sitting at the computer talking to Sarah enjoying watching her bend to my will. She was on video, knowing that I wouldn’t allow her to see me, she didn’t mind because to her, I was in complete control. She was playing with herself while I typed what I wanted to see. She went into the drawer next to her computer and pulled out a small razor blade. My heart still pounded every time we got to this part. I told her to tease me. She ran it gently, careful not to cut into her skin over her pale thighs and moaned. I watched as she ran her free hand over her young breasts. Then I told her it was time and she moved the blade back to her thigh. As one over her fingers slid inside her, the blade slipped into her perfect skin. “Not to deep, we don’t want your boyfriend to suspect anything, and we surely don’t want you to bleed out. Not until I get to play with you first.” I typed into the command bar. She ran the blade slowly up her thigh a few inches and the blood started to run out of her. I got chills down my spine and felt that familiar sense of perfection coming over me. Just when I was starting to get the feeling that I strived for, I heard a tap at the window.
I jumped and spun around in the chair. Scared and curious I got up and walked to the closed curtains. I pulled them apart very slowly and as I did the thing that I had been seeing came into view. Accept this time it wasn’t in the yard or behind the tree, it was standing right at the window. I looked into its inky eyes, at first terrified, then comforted. I felt my fear subside and then I heard it. “It’s almost time, are you ready?” I replied simply by nodding, I couldn’t find words. It said “I will come to you and you will let me in, we will be one in the same. All you have to do is accept me.” I said “I will.” And felt a great relief as the thing melted back into the darkness.
I walked slowly and a little confused back to the computer. There was a handful of messages there from Sarah. At first asking if I was pleased with her, then after I didn’t answer she begged for a reply. She needed me to tell her she did a good job. The video feed was disconnected but I just knew that she was sitting at her keyboard starring at the screen waiting for my reply. I typed “You did very good, some day you will be here with me. I look forward to feeling the warmth of your blood on my hands.” She replied with a “Thank You Sir.”
It was that week that everything changed. There seemed to be a calm Monday and Tuesday. I didn’t visit the fort once. I got up and had my breakfast, then my lessons and went upstairs to play video games or outside to shoot my pellet gun. Things seemed very normal.
On Wednesday I woke up and the room was pitch black. I was a little disoriented and looked toward the clock but I couldn’t see its glow. I was confused because my clock is always right there, then I heard a little sound and saw the glow of my digital clock come into view slightly. My heart exploded out of my chest and I started sweating, some body was standing in front of my clock. I laid perfectly still hoping if it was an intruder they would just move on and leave me alone. Then I heard the voice, for the first time with my ears. “Michael, today is the day.” Then without any sound at all I watched it dissolve and my clock came into view like he was never there. I spent the rest of the night wide awake. I was scared but just as excited. Something was going to happen today, something big.
When the sun finally broke through my windows I hopped out of bed and went straight in to the bathroom to shower. I felt great, radiant almost. After getting dressed I ran down the hall jumping occasionally and laughing all the way. I purposely went to the front of the house in order to slide down the banister instead of just going to down the back stairs like I normally do. I hopped on the smooth, shiny wood banister and slid about three quarters of the way down before falling off. I laid on the floor laughing.
Edith came running in with a worried look on her face. “I heard a loud bang, are you al… Well I guess your fine.” She said as she burst into the entry way where the stairs dumped out. I got to my feet and said “Oh yeah, I am awesome. Today is going to be a good day, I just know it.” She chuckled and said “Are you ready for breakfast?” “Heck yeah, I am!” I said running past her and toward the kitchen. I sat down on one of the bar stools and waited for Edith to catch up. She came around the corner still laughing “Well you’re in a good mood.” I said “Enjoy it while you can.” In the most joking way I could so that she didn’t know I was absolutely serious. “Bacon, sausage, eggs, and toast?” She asked. I nodded just barely holding back my drool. This day just keeps getting better.
I scarfed down every last bit of my food and scooped up the yolk with the toast. Feeling full and ready to take a nap, I walked to the study where Edith already had todays lesson ready. She looked at me and said “I think we are going to go half day today, it’s so nice out and you’re in such a good mood, I would hate to waste that on school.” I smiled very happy and said “That sounds perfect.”

[Jake.Ashworth]

Class was about a perfectly suiting subject. We covered medieval times and went over the plague and some of the cruel methods they used to torture people who broke the law. We talked at length about how they would draw and quarter people and about the rack. She loved it when I was so involved. We did our normal science stuff, I wasn’t too interested in it. She started teaching me Algebra, which was actually pretty exciting. I learned a lot that half day, I think I was able to concentrate better than I had in a while.
After we finished up, I helped clean the dry erase board and then headed outside to kill some time in the woods. I went out to the creek and skipped a couple stones. It was a pretty beautiful day, the trees where regrowing their leaves and there were a lot of tad poles in the creek. I walked on and out into the clearing. I walked over to it, the dried coyote blood was still in place on the doorway and everything looked exactly like I had left it. I looked over the little skulls hanging all over the ceiling. There must have been fifty of them now. I walked in and ran my hand through them above my head. I sat under the macabre site that I just loved being around and picked up my turtles. Leonardo and Shredder had been collecting dust, neglected by me because of my new toys. I wiped the dirt and dust off of them and stood them back up. There they looked exactly like they had the day I drug the little rabbit in here to help it back to health and ended up peeling its skin back and playing with its body.
While I was sitting there remember the first time I found out how much fun taking something apart was going to be, I heard the voice “Today, you will become whole, soon you will become a man.” Following it were flashes of my mother and Edith, a couple flashes of Sarah. I could see myself laying under a body hung by its feet from a ceiling beam in a dark room, a long deep cut through its neck, the blood pouring down over me. It was so vivid I could feel it. Then as quickly as the images came, they were gone and I was sitting in my little fort alone. I figured it was a good time to head home, the sun was beginning to come down and dinner wouldn’t be long.
While I was walking back to the house I started thinking about mother. I hadn’t seen her in weeks, maybe it had been months. I began to get a little worried but reminded myself that this is just what she does. The walk back to the house was pleasant and quiet. When I got to the back door I took one huge deep breath of fresh air and headed in and up to my room. I was starving, I guess I skipped lunch while I was outside and didn’t really realize it. The smells of dinner made my stomach growl.
Dinner was mostly normal, good food, good conversation with Edith. I helped clean up and went to play games. I heard Edith head to bed sometime around 10 p.m. So far today had been good but mostly uneventful, I wonder what was supposed to happen. Just then this feeling rushed through me, I needed to go downstairs. Something was waiting for me. I got up and headed straight for the door. As I walked by Edith’s room her door opened. She said “I thought I heard your door close, are you ok?” I looked at her, the words sounded distorted, like we were under water. I replied “Im fine, just going to get a snack.” “Do you need help?” She asked. I said “No, Im ok, just go on to bed. Goodnight.” Then I continued down the hall to the stairs.
I came down the stairs into the kitchen not really knowing why I was down here. I felt like I was being led by something. It was a lot like the feeling I had when I was working on the coyote. Like I was present and conscious but just barely. I walked through the first floor and to the hallway that led to mother’s room. Walking down the hall I started to think, I couldn’t hurt my mother. I started yelling inside of my own head “No, I won’t hurt mother. I love her! You can’t make me do this.” Then a scolding voice, so loud in my head that it hurt “Shut up pussy! You will do whatever I want, until you know how to control this, you are mine.” I walked down the hall, trailing my fingers along the walls all the way down. When I got to the door I reached for the handle, the door swung in before I could touch it. There she was.
That’s the moment, my head spun quick, energy coursed through my body, for a split second I could feel my mind open up and the two worlds inside of me collide. My eyes fell on my mother’s feet dangling about two feet over the ground. She hung from her neck, her head crooked to the side. There was a little line of drool streaming down out of her mouth. I paid close attention and looked her over from top to bottom. She was just as beautiful as always, maybe even more so now. I walked over to her, when I got close I felt the carpet squish under my feet. Urine dripped down her leg and off of her heal. She must have just done this. I reached out my hand and touched her ankle, the flesh was still warm. My hand ran up her leg and under her night gown. I stared at her swinging slightly now that I had touched her, as my fingers brushed against the hair of her vagina. I pulled my hand back slowly, there hadn’t been any sound in my head during this whole time. But I felt complete, for the first time, I felt like the other me was there and was going to stay with me.
I walked over to the desk in the corner of her room where a single piece of paper sat. At the top is said “I am so sorry.” Then it read;
Michael,
I can’t explain what is going on in my mind while I write this, I feel like everything is wrong. I know I’m not a good mother to you. I have been lost sense your father’s death, I know he was cheating on me for years but he was still mine. This won’t be long but I have to tell you, I wish I could have been better to you. All of this time I should have been with you, watching you grow up. I started having a deep feeling of fear any time we were together about four years ago. I haven’t been able to shake it, and I have felt completely trapped in this room. I think something is wrong with you Michael, but I can’t stay here like this anymore. Please forgive me, and promise me that you will get help for anything that is plaguing you.

You’re Loving Mother
I picked the letter up and folded into a tight little square. It slid into my pocket, I will keep this forever. I could hear the rope squeaking behind me as her lifeless body swung slowly back and forth. I registered the chair that she had used to climb up on that was tumbled over on its side. I wanted to spend more time with her, but I knew that if I did, somebody would be able to tell. I walked back by her again and gave her a tight hug, she smelled of her normal perfume and a slight hint of the urine dripping from her heal. I thought about touching her again, but resisted. I smiled up at her contorted face and said, “Thank you mom, you gave me what I needed to become whole. Your sacrifice is wonderful. I will honor you as I do my future work.” With that, I walked to the doorway and let out a loud scream that I knew would alarm Edith. Then I got down on my knees and put my head in my hands summoning tears.
I could hear Edith come down the stairs and run down the hallway. She must have seen mother beyond the door because she fell directly on top of me and held me. She was whispering “It’s going to be ok my boy, just be strong.” Over and over. I faked crying harder than I had ever cried before. She helped me to my feet, just before she turned me around to head back down the hall I caught one more glimpse of my mother’s face. Her eyes wide open, her jaw hanging open and I flashed a quick smile her way. I knew she could still see me, I just knew it.

[anglewitch]

Forgot that you warned that you have only 15 chapters to go. ::big grin::

[Jake.Ashworth]

Lol! Im going to post more later today, right now... Im working... yeah that's what Im doing...

[anglewitch]

I will brace myself. ::big grin::

[Jake.Ashworth]

Chapter 11
The Police arrived not long after we sat down in the living room and Edith called. I overheard her in the kitchen reporting a suicide. She said the address and asked them to hurry, that a child was in the house. Within 20 minutes the house was buzzing. There where police and EMT’s and the coroner all walking in and out of mothers room. They kept taking pictures and talking in whispers. I kept up the façade that I was traumatized. I rocked back and forth on the couch crying like a baby. But in my head I just wanted to go back upstairs and play video games.
The feeling was incredibly freeing. I had no emotions about what was happening, not about losing mother. Edith was crying and trying to keep my attention. An image jumped across my mind of my mother smiling and dancing when I was young, but only for a split second. I was locking all of that away, I could feel those memories slipping from the front of my mind. Behind them came explicit images of Sarah, and memories of how mother’s skin felt when I ran my hand up her thigh. I felt myself start to smirk and caught it. The last thing I needed was for Edith to think I was crazy, she hadn’t served her purpose yet. Soon though, I just have to be patient.
I watched as they escorted mother’s body out through the living room in a black plastic body bag. One of the officers had pulled aside Edith and was talking with her about the order of events. I stared intently at the bag as it passed. I wanted so badly to keep her. To get to play with her. I felt goose bumps raise from my flesh, and thought that the haze should be coming over my vision at any moment. A voice came from inside of my head, only this time it was my own. “You won’t see that haze anymore, you are going to be completely clear minded from this day forward. You’re going to live in a beautiful new world, that you will help make better.”
I took one last look at the bag as it went out through the front doors, that’s it mother is gone. I looked up at Edith and the officer, he was writing down everything she said. I imagined what she was saying, “Well, she had been depressed for as long as I have been here and her son over there says she almost never came out of her room. Im really not surprised at all. I feel terrible for the boy though, he just lost his father less than a year ago.” The officer just shook his head and reached out to touch her arm. Edith smiled at him and then turned to walk over towards me. She said “Michael, why don’t you go up to your room and try to get some rest. It’s been a long night and I bet the police will be here for a little longer. Are you ok to be alone?” I gave her the saddest face I could muster up and said “I’m ok Edith, I’ll probably be up for a while but I think I will go to my room.” I got up and gave her a big hug. She squeezed me back just as hard and I walked away to head upstairs, fumbling with the note in my pocket.
Not at all sure what was going to happen moving forward, I was a little nervous that they would ship me off to live with some distant relative that I hardly knew. God if they sent me to live with that drunk, Uncle William, I would slaughter the entire family. As I thought that to myself I smiled a little seeing a image of William screaming as I dug my fingers into his eyes. I sat down in front of my TV thinking about playing some games. I kept feeling like I should go and talk to Sarah about what had happened, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk about it. The last think I wanted was sympathy. What I really wanted was to play with mother’s body. Not sexually, I wanted to peel that skin off and finally get to see what’s underneath. When I ran my fingers up her thigh the feeling of her skin was amazing, it was so soft and white. I closed my eyes and dreamt of biting her flesh, of feeling that soft skin between my teeth. The thought shot a shiver down my spine and I felt more relaxed than I had all day.
By this time it was well past midnight. I usually met Sarah in private chat about two in the morning. So she should be logging on any minute. I didn’t want to tell her about mother, but I wanted to talk to her regardless. I went to the computer and logged on to the site. She wasn’t on yet so I thought I would spend a little time just wondering around and watching other people’s conversations. Sometimes it was nice to just see what other people had running through their minds.
I started reading a conversation about some pretty crazy fetishes. I couldn’t get into a lot of them, the page was a no holds barred, anything goes type of place and people took advantage of that. There where people talking about sexual acts with animals, and going to the bathroom on each other. I wasn’t into any of that stuff. I liked the blood, and the gore. I really liked conversation that bridged the gap between murder and sex. That’s why Sarah was perfect. She seemed to really get off on the idea of dying in the throes of ecstasy. I wanted to be the one to give that to her. She didn’t know it yet, but I was convinced I was going to be the one that gave her that ultimate pleasure. I wanted to watch her cum and watch the life melt out of her at the same time.
As I was thinking this a private message popped up in the corner of the screen, it was Sarah, I hadn’t even noticed she logged on. It read simply “At your service Master.” I felt my smile stretch ear to ear. I typed back “We will get to that, right now I want to ask you some questions about you.” She replied “Anything” She was all mine, I love this. “Have you talked to your boyfriend about your fantasies?” I typed. She answered “No Master, he wouldn’t understand. He is such a vanilla kind of guy.” I said “Do you think he loves you?” She said “Yes.” That’s perfect. My plan may take a little while to come to fruition but if they stay together it will work. I don’t want to overwhelm her right now though. And I can tell she wants to play. Plus I want to see her bleed. I said “That’s all for now, were is my video feed?” Within seconds a small window opened in the corner of my screen with Sarah’s face in it. Another message came across “Why can’t I see you.” I frowned and scolded her “You will see me when I damn well feel like showing myself! Awful ballsy tonight aren’t we? And where is my sound?” I watched as she read my response and saw the look of hurt come over her face. She replied in voice “I’m sorry Master, I didn’t mean to question you.” She needed to be punished and I knew the best way. I sent her “Good night.” She read it and immediately started to beg for me to stay, that she needed me. I clicked the log off button and closed the window. She would be a mess tomorrow, and play time will be that much more fun.

[Jake.Ashworth]

I got up from the computer and stretched. Still not at all tired I decided that it was time to play some games and headed for the media center. I couldn’t hear any ruckus down stairs anymore and I couldn’t see the front of the house from my window, my room faced the back yard, so I couldn’t tell if the police were still here. I flipped on my PlayStation and sat down to enjoy some quiet time.
Plans ran through my head as I mowed down hookers and civilians, stole cars and robbed people. These games were fun, but they didn’t satisfy my need for blood. I have a plan in place for Edith, and for Sarah, and if all goes well for Sarah’s boyfriend. This should be a blast, it will take a lot of patience but in the end, it’s going to be life changing. I only had the other me to thank, my best ideas started flowing as I got closer and closer to meeting him. Now that we have come together I think I am going to have a lot more fun.
I played for a little while and was feeling pretty good about everything when I heard a knock. She must have heard my game because she pushed the door open and stuck her head inside “Michael, can I come in and talk to you?” I thought about saying no, and I thought she probably wouldn’t have second guessed it but instead I said “Go ahead.” She walked into the room and over to the couch where I was intently playing my game. She sat down next to me and I didn’t even acknowledge her. I’m hoping that she will think that I am avoiding the topic and let me be. She said “Michael, how are you taking all of this?” I kept playing and didn’t respond she waited a few seconds and continued “This has to be killing you, I know you loved her. You need to know that it had nothing to do with you. I know that you probably need some time to let it all sink in, but I am here for you if you need me.” I nodded my head slowly and managed to get some tears to well up in my eyes. I was hoping she read it how I wanted her to. Sure enough she said “Its ok Michael, Im going to go to be. You try to get some rest tonight please?” I said “I will, and Edith, thank you.” She smiled softly and reached out to touch my cheek. I started to flinch away but let her soft hand brush against me. She got up and left the room closing the door behind her.
She must have been right about needing some sleep because shortly after she walked out of the room, I passed out right there on the couch. Vivid clear dreams rushing through my head. I relived the moment I saw my mother’s body hanging in her room. Except this time, the other me was hanging on the body swinging back and forth and spinning in circles with a strange ear to ear grin on my face, larger than I would think is possible. My teeth were showing and they were sharp and dripping long strands of saliva. I watched the other me jump down off of the body and start to lick the urine off of the legs of my mother’s corpse. I watched that me take a huge bite out of the thigh of her leg and the blood poured out into my mouth almost cartoon like. As I watched this happen I blinked and when my eyes opened back up it was me chewing on the piece of her thigh as a flood of blood poured out of her legs and over my body. I felt the need to yank her down and eat the rest of her. I grabbed her body and tried to pull her down but I couldn’t get her loose. Then I felt a hand on the back of my head. I jerked back and saw my mother’s eyes open and her slack jawed gaze turned into a loving smile. She said in a very raspy voice “I love you Michael, this is what I want, I wanted you to learn who you really are.” Then a laugh, loud and evil echoed through my head. I grabbed at my ears and fell to the floor screaming. Everything went black and I instantly woke up.
I looked around and realized I had fallen asleep playing my game. My heart beat started to return to normal and I stood up to turn the game off. Walking over to the TV everything still felt very fuzzy. I hit the power button on the PlayStation and on the TV and looked up into the black screen of the TV. I froze in my place… Over my right shoulder standing directly behind the couch I could see my mother in the reflection. I turned around slowly and looked toward the couch. When my head came around she was nose to nose with me and in an instant she brought her hand up to her throat and slid her finger nail across the surface. It ripped a hole in her throat and her blood started to pour through the gash. She grabbed the back of my head and jammed it into the wound. I heard her say “Eat me Michael!” but the sound came from her throat.
Pain shot through my body as I woke up again, this time laying on the floor covered in sweat. My heart felt like it was about to come up out of my throat and as I tried to get to my feet I realized that my knees where very week and collapsed under my weight. I tried to think about what had just happened but even as I was trying to wake up the dreams where fading into the background of my memory. Things where never going to be the same. I felt older, wiser, and I felt like all I wanted was blood. I wanted to feel it on my skin and I wanted to taste it. I loved the idea of watching it pour from a wound. I was ready.
The following days were full of legal stuff and lonely time. I spent a lot of time talking to Sarah because Edith had to go to the lawyer’s office a few time. I didn’t have any lessons for a full week. I lost myself in the fun and fascinating world of the internet exploring some of the darker corners. I didn’t realize it until I heard the knock at the door and had an interesting conversation with Edith, but I hadn’t left my room all week.
Edith said as she knocked “Michael, you need to let me in, we need to talk.” I opened the door and she smiled a soft, grandma smile. I stood back and opened the door. She walked in looking around, probably for any signs that I had lost my mind. Luckily even when I am feeling crazy, I like to keep things clean. I walked with her to the couch, I could have sworn that I could smell fear on her. She didn’t want to talk about this. We sat on the couch and she took my hand. “Michael, I need you to come down to the lawyer’s office with me. You are part of the will and need to hear it.” I said “Why do I need to hear it there? Why can’t you just tell me what fucked up relative I have to go live with?” She looked a little taken back by the curse word. I apologized for it and said “Im just feeling a lot of stress and I really don’t know how to deal with all of this.” The look of shock was replaced with another understanding smile. She said “They won’t read it to me, you are the next surviving member of the family. Your mother also asked in the will that you be there.” Interested I said “Mom wanted me there? That’s weird.” Edith nodded “It looks like she changed it before she… passed away.” I was a little confused but I agreed to go out with her.

[Jake.Ashworth]

After my first shower that week and getting on what I would call court clothes, they weren’t much different than funeral clothes just with lighter colors, I met Edith at her car. I got in the passenger seat and waited. She got in and got comfortable which I didn’t believe was possible in this tiny Prius. We drove down the long driveway in silence. I waved at the guard as we drove through the gate. Edith said “How are you feeling?” I shook my head a little bit and said “I’m ok, a little nervous about this. I hate driving into the city.” She said “Your mother’s funeral is tomorrow you know. Are you planning on attending?” I chewed on that for a minute. I knew that eventually that was going to come up but I am not willing to go to another huge event. I asked “How many people did you invite?” She replied “Well not many, it will be a more intimate ordeal. I was hoping that would make it easier for you.” “Thank you Edith, I really appreciate that, I suppose I will come.” Then we fell into silence for the rest of the trip. I thought about mother and the way she looked in my dreams the night before. It was the only thing I could remember clearly, she was so beautiful, even in death.
We drove into Baltimore, I watched as the country became the city and watched the slums fly by again. I know someday I will have fun there, but now isn’t for daydreaming, I had to prepare myself for whatever was going to happen at the lawyers office. I watched as we drove past the slums and into the city. We go off in the heart of the city and drove through the streets. I looked up at the huge skyscrapers and imagined what would happen to a person’s body if they jumped from up there. I could see the impact in my mind in slow motion. The organs liquefying and the bones shattering.
We pulled into a parking garage next to one of the huge skyscrapers. Edith said “His office is at the very top, the view is amazing.” I smiled and got out of the car. We walked across the pathway that divided the parking garage and the building and into the lobby. There were tons of people, everyone moving around and not paying attention to each other. It seemed like nobody cared about anyone else. We walked over to the row of elevators, ten on each side of the walkway. Edith pushed the up button and we waited. I watched people in business suits pile in and out of elevator after elevator. It was incredible how many people walked by each other without even a greeting. This world was cold, I loved it. The elevator in front of us dinged and the doors slid open. People rushed out like they had somewhere they had to be five minutes ago and were late.
The elevator ride was long and almost as quiet as the drive over here if it wasn’t for the racket of elevator music. It stopped a few times to let people on and for those people to get off. A twenty something young man sweating profusely, I thought he must be going for a interview. I was leaning in the corner when a young lady got on the elevator. I looked up after the door closed and her back was facing me. Could it be? She looked just like Jennifer from the back. Her hair was the same color and length, and her ass was perfect. I reached up and grabbed her arm. She swung around fast. Smiling ear to ear I was expecting to see Jennifer but instead all I saw was a confused young lady that definitely was not Jennifer. I said “Oh my, Im so sorry, I thought you looked like someone I knew.” Her confusion melted away and she smiled at me and said “Its ok honey.” I looked over to Edith and I could see the question in her eyes “What the hell was that?” I mouthed silently “Nothing, don’t worry about it.” She nodded but still looked curious.
When we finally reached the top, the 62nd floor, the doors slid open into a beautiful waiting room. We walked across the floor to the desk and Edith spoke to the receptionist. I was there but paying no attention. My mind was on Jennifer. Edith grabbed my shoulder and directed me through a big glass door into a long hallway. She whispered to me “Where are you Michael? It seems like you keep spacing out.” I said “I’m ok Edith, let’s just get this over with.” The receptionist led us down the long hallway to the very end. On the opaque glass door there was an inscription, it just read Jason Wainright. The receptionist opened the door and announced us. As I walked past her I felt my jaw drop open. The office was beautiful and in a corner. It was solid glass windows on two sides and the glass was so immaculate that it almost didn’t even seem like it was there. There was a huge executive desk in the corner facing the doorway. Sitting at the desk was a very professional looking gentleman in his late forty’s? The other two walls were full of book cases with every book you could imagine on the law. There were few knickknacks but my eyes landed on what looked like a huge rabbit’s foot in a glass case on Mr. Wainrights desk. I walked over and saw that it looked a lot like mine. I reached up and touched mine through my shirt. The well-dressed man behind the desk must have noticed my gaze because he stood up and said “You must be Michael. That was a gift from your father.” I shook the cloudiness from my mind and looked at the man. He stuck out his hand and said “I’m Jason, me and your father have been friends for about twenty years.” I reached forward and grabbed his hand shaking it firmly. He said “Have a seat, would you like me to have Edith step out?” I said “No, absolutely not, she is part of the family.” I saw a nice smile on Edith’s face. That one was for good measure, I want her to feel like part of the family. Jason said “Very well, let’s get to it.” I nodded “Lets.” Jason said “So your mother had just inherited your father’s entire fortune recently. She was a good woman and she was very concerned for your wellbeing. She spent a lot of time finding Edith to take care of you. It turns out that her plan was for Edith to become your Legal Guardian, as long as that settled well with Edith.” Edith nodded approval, I stopped him and said “Then mother knew that she wanted to commit suicide that long ago?” Jason said “That’s how it seems. You will also inherit everything that was your fathers and your mothers. That includes the vacation homes in France and Germany.” I didn’t even know we had vacation homes. This was all so shocking. He went on “The money will be put into a trust fund until you turn eighteen. In the meantime the bills will be taken care of and a monthly allowance will be sent to Edith in the amount of $5000. To be spent on anything that suits you.” There were a lot of other things about cars and boats but I didn’t really listen too much of it. Then I heard Jason say “Well, that’s all of it, it looks like the two of you are set for life.” He stood up and said that a lot of the info would be sent via mail to Edith and that the first check will arrive in the mail in about a month.
We stood to leave and Jason came around the desk. He looked at me and said “Your father was a great man, your mom was an amazing woman. I am very sorry for what happened and if you ever need anything in my line call me any time.” I thanked him and flashed him a smile. I hope he got the message, it was pretty clear by the look on my face “I’ll call you if I need help, otherwise you will never hear from me again.” I tried to let everything sink in on the long elevator ride and walk back to the car.
During the drive home Edith spoke up and said “So, how do you feel about all of that?” “Well, it looks like you’re my new mommy.” I said kind of sarcastically. She picked up on it and didn’t take any offense. “You’re a good kid Michael, I would be proud to stay with you until you go off to college.” I said “Thank you Edith, I think we will be just fine, let’s get passed this funeral and try to start fresh.” I could feel it coming, there was something big getting ready to happen. I heard my voice in my head say “Keep building that trust, you’ll love what happens, it’s so much fun.” I smiled and rested my head against the window.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Well, that was a long chapter. Probably could be two.

[anglewitch]

make it two.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Will do, when I rough out draft 2. Lol.

[anglewitch]

LOL. SOUNDS GOOD.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Chapter 12
I woke up on the morning of mothers funeral feeling completely rejuvenated. I had wonderful dreams of all of the things I could do with a pocket knife and a steady hand. I got up and got ready to go. Edith knocked at the door and I opened it with a big smile. I know it’s a sad day but I couldn’t help it. Edith said “Ok, we leave in an hour for the wake and then the funeral and home by two. Sound like a deal?” I said “That sounds perfect.” I walked out the door and followed Edith downstairs for breakfast. It seems like it will be a good day. I asked over cereal “What’s a wake?” the only funeral I had been to up till then was fathers and it was just a memorial service. Edith said “Well, we are doing a open casket wake so that you and others can say goodbye to your mother.” I felt the room shift a little “Wait, I’m going to see her again?” Edith said “Well, only if you want to.” I nodded thinking to myself “Will I be able to handle that? I will have to work hard to keep from touching her.” We finished up breakfast and Edith grabbed her keys and we headed for the car.
The drive was the same as it had been the day before but the funeral home was a lot closer. We didn’t even go into the city. We parked and headed in, I noticed that there were only a few cars in the parking lot. When we walked in the casket was set up at the far end of a row of chairs. There was a small sign in book and about ten people there. I didn’t recognize any of them, but they still all went out of their way to tell me how sorry they were. I put on my super sad face again and hammed it up for them.
Then Edith said “Do you want to go and see her?” I turned toward the casket and headed down the aisle. I wasn’t sure what to feel but flashes of her dangling from the ceiling were flashing through my mind. I tried taking some deep breaths to clear my head but it wasn’t working. I stepped up onto the platform and walked over to the casket. It was propped open from her waist up. She was in a beautiful dress and her makeup and hair were perfect. She was exactly as I remembered her. I stood there for a second just staring and I felt a shift inside of me. I felt the other me trying to take control. There was a need to touch her that washed over my body. I wanted to climb in the casket on top of her. I want to wipe the makeup off that was covering up the beautiful bruises that the rope had made around her neck. I started salivating and I felt flush. There was a internal struggle that I had to win. I fought it tooth and nail. Then I thought I saw her eyes move. They flicked toward me, I felt her hand grab my hand. Her mouth opened in a slack jawed gape. I felt her moving my hand toward her mouth, she was going to bite me. I pulled my hand back hard and fell backwards off of the platform.
The other people there rushed to help me up. I could hear everyone asking if I was ok and I felt all of their hands on my body. I started shaking and didn’t know what to do. I flung my arms out and pushed everyone away. Looking around the room slowly my eyes landed on the casket. I saw mother sitting up staring at me, her eyes blank and her hand on the corner of the casket tapping her fingers as if to say “Now what?” I wanted with every part of my body to go back up there and stab her, she was taunting me and nobody saw it. I screamed and ran out of the building. I didn’t stop running until I was in the middle of the cemetery.
I stopped and dropped my hands to my knees trying to catch my breath. As I felt my heartbeat start to slow down and my head stop spinning I straightened my back and realized I was standing in the middle of a huge cemetery. Surrounded entirely by the dead. I walked slowly between the tombstones and the mausoleums. I was looking for an open one that I could hide out in for a little while. I came across a large chamber with three stone caskets inside. The gate that covered the entrance was cracked open slightly. I walked in and sat down in one of the corners. I could hear people looking for me outside.
Sitting there I was trying to rationalize what happened inside but I couldn’t get all of the images straight in my head. It was like the whole thing was a jumble. I heard my voice ring out in my head “Michael, you’re ok, this sort of thing happens to our type. You just have to learn how to accept it.” I whispered so as not to be hear “I don’t know if I can do that. I feel like I’m losing my mind.” The voice said “You are, but its ok, it’s a good kind of insane that I bring to you. A freeing kind of insanity.” I sat quietly. Along with the sounds of the people looking for me outside I could hear the faint screams and bangs from the long dead family inside of the casket as they try to get out. I don’t think cemeteries are a place for me anymore.
Edith poked her head around the corner of the door and sighed loudly “I guess this wasn’t the best idea, are you ok?” As she plopped down next to me. I took one huge breath and said “Yeah, you know, I think I am ok. It was just a weird moment. But I think im ok now. Let’s go to the funeral and say our goodbyes.” She said “You are such a strong little man, I am very proud of you.” I got up and gave her my hand to help her off of the floor. I was starting to block out the noises coming from inside the coffins all over the graveyard, but I could still hear them.
The walk to the family mausoleum was torture. I could hear things clawing at the inside of their caskets as I moved through the cemetery. I could make out voices of men, women, and children. I knew that I wasn’t actually hearing them, I knew that they were dead and couldn’t make any noise but that didn’t stop them from doing it. I stood at the mausoleum as a team of men hired by the funeral home carried mothers casket into the room. They lifted it high and lowered it into place inside of a solid marble box. As they lowered her I could hear mother inside saying “Michael, you’re going to do beautiful things, just listen to yourself and follow your gut.” Then a hideous laugh, something between mothers old laugh and a gurgle. I stood there patiently, ignoring all of the noise. The priest was reciting something in Latin, it sounded nice but I had no idea what it meant. For a brief moment I saw a flash of the other me behind the priest with a long spear positioning it to impale him. I laughed out loud just a little and got a terrible look from Edith. I guess that was out of place. I apologized with my eyes and went back to listening.
After the service ended they would use a machine the cover the tomb with a huge slab of marble never to be opened again. I swore that I would never set foot in that cemetery againas we drove away from it. I was exhausted from all of the emotion of the day and couldn’t wait to get home and go to bed. It was all just so much. The drive home was mostly uneventful, it was quiet and nice and I almost fell asleep. We pulled back into the driveway and through the gates. After parking out front we went inside to have dinner. I thought to myself “Wouldn’t it be nice if mother came to dinner tonight?” But then I remembered that I wouldn’t be having dinner with her anymore. It was just me and Edith in this huge house, at least for now.
I went up to my room to change into more comfortable clothes and relax for a little while. Edith went to the kitchen to make dinner. After being out of my room all day and then walking back into it, I realized that it smelled horrible in there. No matter how clean I tried to be, apparently not showering for a week had made quite an impression on my bedroom. I went to the windows and slid them open and turned on a fan hoping to air it out a bit. Plopping down on the couch I tried to let the day process a little. As soon as I started to calm down, I heard my voice again “Well today was fun.” I laughed and looked back at the events of the day. Even though it was a little terrifying at first, it really was fun. It was a rush to see mother move, it was a crazy to feel her cold dry hand on mine. I loved it, I loved every minute of it. “See its great with me here. We are going to have so much fun.” I was ready for the next step.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Dinner was quick and simple, but we ate at the dinner table and talked a little. She seemed just as lost as me. Luckily I wasn’t any more. I knew exactly what was going on. Everything had fallen into place and Edith had served her purpose. Soon I would let the other me have his way with her and it would be messy and a lot of fun. As we sat there eating our dinner I imagined her begging for leniency. She wouldn’t get it. I feel completely at ease with how this week was going to go.
She asked me “Do you want to start classes again on Tomorrow?” I said “That would be great, I need to take my mind off of things. What will we be working on?” She answered “I think we are going to journey into Egypt and the pyramids and mummies.” “That sounds awesome, I can’t wait.” I said. What she didn’t realize is things where about to get really strange for her. I had some plans. I wanted her to know something was wrong but I didn’t want her to know what. I had some ideas.
It started that night. When we finished our dinner I headed straight to bed and left her to the dishes and cleaning. After I went up the stairs and down the hall I stepped into the guest bedroom that was attached to her room. I walked lightly to that my footsteps wouldn’t be heard downstairs. I slid into her bathroom, which brought back flashes of watching Jennifer shower, and completely rearranged all of her toiletries. When I walked back out, I left the door to the guest bathroom about halfway open. Then I went to the storage room. It seemed like a petty thing, but I wanted to get into her head. I wanted her to feel like something happened. I sat patiently and waited. It took about an hour before she came up but I heard her walking down the hall and then I heard her door close. I pressed my eye up against the tiny hole and watched as she walked into the room and then into the bathroom. I heard the water come on and then she reappeared in the bedroom. My eyes where peeled as she stripped out of her clothes. Her body was so different than Jennifer’s. I looked her over and noticed that although still in decent shape she had some areas were her skin drooped down and her breasts hung a lot lower than Jennifer’s. My mind lit up with the thought of cutting those breasts off and keeping them. It would be neat to have a lot of different kinds. She walked back into the bathroom and took her shower. I moved away from the hole and sat there in the dark imagining what it would be like to peel the skin off of Edith. But for the first time I could picture playing with her first. This is going to be so fun.
I heard the water turn off, it must have been about 20 minutes. I moved back against the hole and watched. After another five minutes she came out of the bathroom with a very confused look on her face. She moved very slowly and looked all over. Then she went back into the bathroom and I could see the light from the guest bedroom come on. She must be checking to make sure nobody was in there. It went perfect. I heard her pull the door to the other room closed and then watched her come back out and change into her bed clothes. Now she is doubting herself. One more little push tonight and I will go to bed. I waiting for her to fall asleep and then made my move. I slinked down the hall slowly and quietly, ducked back into the guest bedroom and carefully pushed the bathroom door open again. I had to restrain my laughter as I went down the hall to my room. I thought to myself “That should really get her thinking.” Then the other voice “Why didn’t you just slit her throat right there? This could be over and we could be laying in a puddle of her fresh warm blood.” I snapped back “Listen if we are going to do this, we are doing it on my terms.” Then silence.
The next morning at breakfast Edith looked a bit shaken. While we were eating our eggs she asked “Michael, did you go in my bedroom last night?” I looked at her with my brow furrowed a little and said “Of course not, that’s your space, I get the rest of the house.” She laughed and said “Yeah, sorry, I must be losing my mind. Are you ready for school?” I sent her ahead to the classroom/study and I stayed to cleanup breakfast. After I finished I saw her car keys on the key ring next to the back door. I walked over took them off the hook and slid them into my pocket without making a noise. You won’t be needing these any time soon.
Lessons went fine, about as normal as ever. But during the entire thing I was trying to brainstorm ways to get into Ediths head. I want her to be paranoid, I want to see the fear in her eyes. After we finished up she told me “I think I’m going to rest today Michael, I haven’t been feeling quite right.” I said “I understand, sometimes we just need to recharge our batteries. I think I am going to have a lazy afternoon too.” She headed upstairs as I finished up a little of my classwork, really just buying time until I knew she was gone.
I listened to her footsteps as she ascended the steps and then I heard the faint sound in the big empty house of her door closing. Now to get to work. I got up and went to the desk she used. It was a plain, simple little desk. It had two drawers on the right of the chair and one long skinny one just below the top. I opened the two on the sides and looked at them. Rows of folders and lesson plans all laid out by day. I rearranged them just a little, enough that I knew she would notice. Then I closed those two drawers and pulled the long skinny one out. The first thing I saw was a notebook with Jennifer’s name on it, written in her hand writing. My heart skipped a beat and then I got furious. All I could think at the time was “That bitch left me.” I lifted it out and opened it up. It had all of my grades in each category in it. Mostly A’s because I was pretty damn smart. I closed the folder up and set it aside. There wasn’t much in there to do, but I had this idea. I took a black marker and wrote inside the drawer “I’m coming.” Then put everything back where it belonged and closed the drawer up.
I walked through the house thinking about the last few years and how things have changed. I felt like I was still finding myself. As I wondered through the halls of that huge house looking at all the pictures and details of the fine wood work I realized that this was all mine. It was something that had just crept up on me. The house, the land, everything was mine. Well, until I was 18 it was all mine but through Edith’s old wrinkly hands. I got angry and I heard my voice echo through my head “If you kill her, you can have control now. You can do anything you want.” I ignored him. I was caught up just enjoying my surroundings. I wondered down mother’s hallway. I didn’t really notice where I was until I almost ran into her door. Startled I reached for the knob. The metal of the knob was cold in my hand. I turned the knob and pushed the door open. It swung inward quietly and as it did I saw mother come into view. She was laying on her bed completely naked and staring back at me.
Entranced I walked across the room stepping on piles of dirty clothes and completely ignoring the smell of old food and dust hitting me in the face. I walked around to the side of the bed and looked at her from head to toe. The color of her hair was muted and it was missing in places. Her eyes where milky white and sunk into her head. There was a bluish tint to her lips and her skin looked like it hung loose on her bones. I could see the impression left by the rope around her neck and that excited me. Her breasts where still full and perky. She was raised up on her left arm and her right hand was between her legs. I saw her lips move a little but I didn’t hear anything. I felt myself climb onto the bed to get closer so I could hear her. Again her lips came apart and a sound came out but I still couldn’t make out any words. I leaned in further in and she said “Bleed her dry.” then my hand slipped on the comforter and I fell into my mother’s body. As my head made contact with her face I felt her bones instantly give way and all sorts of bugs burst out of the hole that my head made.
Maggots wriggled across my face. Cockroaches scurried through my hair. I started rolling around on the bed slapping at the bugs trying to get them off of myself. Then it dawned on me that I was laying on top of mother’s body. I shot upright, still swatting at all of the crawling creatures. I looked back expecting to see the destroyed lifeless body of my mother. But all I saw was a plate of some unrecognizable goo that used to be food. The plate was covered in bugs. I looked closely at it and around the room. Mother was nowhere to be found, but I could feel her. I wiped that last few maggots from my face. All I could hear bouncing around in my head was what she said “Bleed her dry.” She was obviously talking about Edith. The time was quickly approaching and I was trying my best to draw out the torture but this undeniable need I was feeling to watch her die was getting stronger. She wouldn’t last much longer in this house.

[anglewitch]

I forgot about you typing 15 more chapters again LOL.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Chapter 13
The next few weeks where fun but I got increasingly anxious. I was in class when she noticed the writing in the drawer. I was doing my work and noticed while trying not to look like I was looking that she saw it. Her eyes grew huge, I saw her get uneasy. She wiggled in her seat a little and just stared at the words for a good couple of minutes. In my head she was trying to find a reasonable explanation. Maybe that had been there this whole time and she just hadn’t noticed it. She was backtracking and thinking of all of the strange things happening lately. She had to think back to the feeling that someone had been in her room, and the fact that she hadn’t been able to find her keys in days. Worry racked her face and I could see that she wasn’t sure how to respond. She closed the drawer and composed herself. Then went on writing my grades in the folder she had removed. I smiled to myself, that was awesome.
I had started making noise at night. It seemed like the next logical step in getting to her. After I was sure she was asleep, I would run down the hall real fast, loud and occasionally hit the wall by her door. Then I would rush back into my bed before she could muster up the courage to explore. Then when she asked me about it, I would tell her that I didn’t hear anything.
One time I thought she caught me, I had just jumped back into my bed and I heard her door close and then footsteps come down the hall. My door opened very slowly. I tried my hardest to control my breathing, it was hard because I was completely out of breath. She walked all the way over to the bed and put her hand on me. I didn’t respond and continued to fake sleep. After a minute she went back out of the room. It was exhilarating. After about fifteen minutes I slid out of bed and tiptoed down the dark hallway. I slid into the little storage room and very carefully moved all of the stuff out of the way so I could see into her room.
Edith sat on the edge of her bed with her face in her hands. She was crying. I could smell the salt in her tears. I was so happy, my games where working perfectly and so much fun at that. I watched as she tried to compose herself twice and failed. She balled for an hour and I sat there with my eye pressed against the small hole soaking all of it in. Finally she stood up and walked toward the door. Concerned she was going to come out and that she would catch me, I jumped back, quick and quiet and covered the hole. I sat there in the tiny dark closet and waited. I heard her walk away down the hall and then down the stairs. I let out the breath that I had been holding and opened the door. At first I thought I would just head back to bed. But I changed my mind.
I walked as quietly as I could to her door. Turned the knob gently and went into her room. I was terrified that she would come back quicker than I had expected. How would I explain being in her room in the middle of the night. But I pushed all of that to the back of my mind. I wanted to do something that would really get her attention. I wanted to bring all of this to a head. I was fast, and determined. I took a tube of bright red lipstick from her bathroom, I have never seen her wear any makeup and was a little surprised to find it. I slid the window in her room open and leaned out of it facing upward. I wrote on the outside of the window in quick messy letters that looked nothing like my own writing, “Im coming.” I closed the door and drew the curtains closed. I rushed as fast as possible back to the bathroom to put the lipstick back, but I decided to keep it. As I was about to come back out of the bathroom I heard the bedroom knob turn. I hadn’t heard the footsteps approaching, I must have been too caught up in what I was doing. I wanted to panic but remained in control. I quickly stepped back into the bathroom and through the door into the guest room. I heard her close her door as I was closing the door to the guest room. I walked softly but as fast as I could back to my room. I didn’t want to risk getting caught any more tonight. Although I was very disappointed that I wouldn’t get to see her reaction. I climbed into bed, feeling great about myself and really looking forward to tomorrow.
I woke up early the next and got ready for the day. I think I am going to spend some time outside today. Sarah was probably starting to feel like I was ignoring her. I hadn’t talked to her in a while, I have been so caught up with other things. I grabbed my pellet gun from the corner of my room and the box of pellets and headed outside. I noticed as I passed through the kitchen that Edith hadn’t been down there yet. My mind raced, I thought maybe she hasn’t opened her curtain yet. I ran out of the house and around the corner to the side of the house that my and Edith’s windows where on. “Yes!” I heard myself yell. I could see the writing and the curtain was still pulled across it. She must be tired from last night and sleeping in. This is perfect.
It was a beautiful Spring Saturday morning. The trees had just started growing back their leaves and the there was a brisk wind blowing through the tall grass out in the field beyond the yard and before the forest. I scavenged a few soda cans out of the recycling and sat them up on a tree stump about fifty feet from the house. I could hardly restrain myself from staring at the window. I started pumping round after round into the cans. My mind was with Edith as my trigger finger pulled off shot after shot into the little metal cans.
I lost myself between the image in my mind of Edith finding the writing and the thoughts that would shoot through her mind and the metal tinging sound as the pellets hit the cans and I reloaded. I almost missed the sound, a fairly light scream shoot through the air as I was refilling the little clip. It was muffled through the closed window and the thick stone sides of the house, but I heard it. I spun around instantly and looked up. I could see Edith’s face with her hands over her mouth trying to hold in the scream. At first she was staring directly at the words. Then I saw her catch me in the corner of her vision. I stood straight up and looked up through the window and smiled at her. Confusion washed over her face and even from this distance I could see the color drain from her face. Then she fell.
This is the time. She passed out after connecting the dots and realizing that she wasn’t crazy. Now was the time for me to act. I ran as fast as I could for the back door. I pushed it open hard and it slammed into the wall. Tossing the pellet gun onto the table I ran up the stairs pulling my jacket off as I went. I ran full steam down the hallway and surged into her bedroom.
Edith laid there on the floor. A little bit of blood dribbled down her cheek from a gash in her nose. She must have hit the window sill as she went down. She was still but I could see her chest breathing. The rest of the room looked exactly like it had the night before when I snuck in and wrote on the window. I was acting on pure instinct. I didn’t know exactly what I was going to do because I honestly hadn’t planned on her fainting. Options ran through my mind, I could tie her to the bed, I could take her downstairs and tie her to a chair. But I needed something that would make for easy cleanup. Then it hit me like a freight train. The fort! It’s secluded and I already have most of my tools out there. But how the hell am I going to get her out there? Unfortunately, I am still just thirteen and she is a bit bigger than me.
She started to stir a little and I realized my window was narrowing. I grabbed a pillow from the bed and took off the pillow case. I put it over her head. I took off my belt and wrapped it around her ankles tightening it down as much as possible. I was getting more and more excited as I went. I could hear the voice in my head cheering me on “Yes, tie her up, this is going to be so much fun.” I ran into her closet and rummaged through all of the things hanging there. I came back out with a thin blouse. I used one of the arms of the blouse to tie her wrists together. I could hear her starting to make noise and she was pulling on her bindings slightly. I grabbed her wrists and pulled her still mostly limp body over to the closet door. Using the other arm of the blouse I attached her bound arms to the door handle of the closet as tight as I could.

[Jake.Ashworth]

I stood back and watched as she started to pull on the blouse and wriggle her feet. I smiled, feeling pretty damn proud of myself. I heard her say “What the hell is this, Michael? Are you here Michael?” I giggled a little and gave myself away. She yelled out “Michael, this isnt funny! What do you think you’re doing?” I didn’t say a word. Leaving the room I was thinking “I really need to get the fort ready.” I walked downstairs and grabbed the pellet gun, feeling pretty secure in how well she was tied up I decided I would go and prep the fort.
I walked through the back door and out into the woods. It was still pretty early, only maybe noon. The sun was warm and pleasant and the birds and other little animals had begun coming back to the forest. Lucky for them, I wouldn’t need any of them for a while. I have a new toy.
I came out of the forest into the clearing and walked up to the now pretty old fort. Walking through the door I noticed that I must have grown some sense the last time I spent time out here. I had to duck a little to get through the door. I could still stand upright inside though. I looked around the little room trying to figure out the best way to do this. I moved the table to one of the far walls and picked up my action figures. I thought about putting down a curtain or another tarp over the floor to catch whatever I spilled but I decided that I wanted it to soak into the dirt. After feeling comfortable that there was plenty of room to work I went into the woods and got four tree limbs around four feet long and as big around as my wrist. I spent the next two hours hammering the limbs down into the ground until only about eight inches still showed. This should be perfect. Now for the hard part.
I walked back to the house feeling satisfied with my prep work and feeling very confident with how things were progressing. The walk back was calm and the forest was alive with the sounds of the little critters running through the leaves and the birds fluttering from tree to tree overhead. I felt very alive and ready to do what needed to be done, in order to start my future. The voice in my head told me “This is the beginning of something incredible. You are going to change the world and leave a mark that no one will ever forget. I’ll be here with you the whole way. This is the first day that you are officially a man.” Every word that rang through my head made me more confident, made me feel stronger.
I approached the house from the side that Edith’s window is on. For a brief moment I thought I saw the dark outline of my mother in Edith’s window. I veered off my route and stopped at the shed outside. I grabbed the bundle of rope and wheelbarrow. “These should be enough to get her out there.” I thought. Then I pushed the wheelbarrow up to the back door and grabbed the rope before I headed inside.
The house was very still. I couldn’t hear anything. “Maybe she gave up trying to get away.” I stopped at the fridge and grabbed a soda before climbing the back stairs with the rope over my shoulder. I walked down the hall to Edith bedroom. Very carefully I opened the bedroom door. Being as quiet as I could I slid inside? Edith was still sitting with her back to the door. Her hands above her head had turned bright red, maybe even purple. She struggled so much that she had lost circulation. The belt was no longer around her ankle and her feet were free. I snuck up to her very slowly and then yelled “BOO!” her whole body convulsed and she screamed. It was a beautiful sound. I started laughing uncontrollably. I couldn’t wait to hear more.
She started kicking her legs and yelling gibberish. It seemed like maybe she had lost it in the few hours that I left her alone. She yanked and tugged at the blouse around her wrists. I leaned back against the bed and sipped on the soda I had grabbed downstairs. When there was a break in her screaming I said “You know all that screaming is doing nothing for you. I can even understand what you’re saying.” Then another round of yelling and curse words. I couldn’t believe she could even say such horrible things. I let her go a while longer trying to figure out how to re-bind her legs without getting kicked. All of the struggling and screaming must have worn her out because by the time she was done it looked like she could barely move.
I spoke up and said “Edith, you’re going to need to calm down and accept the situation your in.” Through her anger and tears she said “What situation, I don’t even know what’s happening?” I chuckled a bit “You’re going to be part of something incredible. I am becoming a man today and you’re going to get to play a pivotal role.” She tried to scream but her voice was worn out. She said “You’re going to rape me? I won’t let you Michael, I won’t let you!” She doesn’t know me at all. “I’m not going to rape you, I’m not a monster, plus you’re old. Just understand that your day is going to get worse. Now, I have a 9mm that I bought online, don’t fight with me or I will end your life right now. If you follow my orders you’ll be fine.” She said “You promise, Michael. You’re not going to hurt me if I do what you say?” “Absolutely not.” I said in return. “Now will you walk for me?” She said trying not to show how scared she is “Yes.” I walked over to her and untied the part of the blouse securing her to the door.

[Jake.Ashworth]

After I helped her to her feet, I asked her “Edith, can I trust you not to do anything crazy? I want to be able to trust you.” Edith replied “Take the pillow case off of my head Michael. I can’t see where I am going and if I am going to trust you, then you have to trust me.” I thought about it for a second but then I realized that she would know I didn’t actually have a gun and she would try to get away. I said “No, Edith, but if you don’t walk I will get you downstairs another way.” She hesitated and then said “Ok Michael, I guess I have no choice.” I put my hand on her back and directed her to the door. When we got to it I stopped her and told her to open it and step out into the hall. She did without incident.
As soon as she stepped into the hallway she split. I was a little dumbfounded. She ran down the hall grabbing at the bag on her head trying to pull it off. In her panic it didn’t look like she could quite get it all the way off and she reached the end of the hall at a full steam and ran straight into the wall. By this time I was running as fast as I could behind her, the old bat was quick. When I saw her make contact with the wall, she stumbled back a couple of steps trying to regain her balance. She wobbled to the left then to the right and just as I reached her she tipped over.
The end of the hall takes a sharp right and the back stairs are there. I watched in slow motion as she fell down the stairs. She fell rolling over and over down the stairs, bouncing off of the walls. I couldn’t help myself and I started laughing. I laughed so hard I was crying. After I mopped up the tears with my sleeve I went to the bottom of the steps. She we out again. But she did the hardest part for me so all I needed to do was get her outside and into the wheelbarrow. I climbed over her body stopping for a second to make sure she was still breathing, and opened the door to the back yard.
Un-wedging her ragdoll body from the bottom of the stairs was a little difficult but after I got her dislodged I grabbed her ankles and dragged her out of the house and over to the wheelbarrow. She weighed in around a hundred and ten pounds. She wasn’t incredibly heavy but I was only thirteen and maybe one thirty soaking wet. I pulled her up to where she was standing hunched over in front of me and just pushed hoping that she would land in the wheelbarrow without tipping it over. I remember thinking to myself “I really should plan this better next time.”
After making sure she was secure I started to cart her out to the woods. It went pretty smooth, we have a nice two wheeled wheelbarrow and it carried without a problem. As I was walking I was trying not to think about all of the possibilities, all of the things I wanted to experience. No matter how I tried to distract myself the excitement kept sweeping over me and my mind kept drifting back to Edith. She would make someone an awesome grandma wherever she was going.
The wheelbarrow bumped along over little rocks and sticks until I broke through the threshold into the clearing. I had worn a small path through the tall grass from walking back and forth so many times but the path wasn’t big enough to make this easy. I pushed the wheelbarrow as hard as I could to get it to plow through the high grass on either side of the path. It took a lot out of me to shove it that last fifty feet or so. Finally we came to the area around the little fort that had been clear for some time. I wheeled her around to the door. Of course the wheelbarrow was too wide to roll through the door. Then the memory of carrying shovel full after shovel full of dirt to the doorway when I was digging the hole for the coyote trap danced through my mind.
I looked down at Edith’s face, she looked so serene. Like nothing was wrong at all. I wondered if she was dreaming. If she was, what about. I imagined briefly that it was a pleasant dream, the last one she would have. I sighed with a huge smile on my face and tipped the wheelbarrow forward spilling her limp body through the doorway. “I should probably hurry, she should wake up soon.” Moving the wheelbarrow out of the way I stepped past her and reached down to grab her wrists. My fingers wrapped around her limp wrists and I pulled hard enough to drag her across the dirt floor to the center of my sturdy spikes. With the rope that I grabbed from the shed I tied her wrists and ankles to the posts as securely as possible. Then I ran rope around her throat just tight enough to hold her in place but not tight enough to choke her. I walked that rope to the side of the fort and fed it through the logs that made up the wall. “That will hold you in place.” I thought to myself.
Having her tied up tight and feeling confident that there was no way she could get away from me again, I positioned all of my tools on the table just to the side of her. Everything that I would use laid out in perfect order. Everything clean and ready. I had my trusty pocket knife, my drill, and a pair of pliers. I thought to myself “This should be perfect.” I took the rabbits foot that I made into a necklace all those years ago out of my pocket. I had been keeping it on a nail on my wall. For some reason I didn’t feel like it should be worn. I pressed my lips against it gently. When I did the memory of how I got it rushed through my mind. I sat it next to my clean shiny tools. Last but not least the first aid kit that I had kept in the fort sense the coyote incident. I would need this if I wanted to do everything I meant to.
After being completely sure everything was in order and checking the ropes again I decided to lay down with her and wait for her to wake up. I laid as close to her body as I could and rested my head on her chest. I listened to her steady heartbeat and slowly drifted off. She would be awake soon and we have so many things to do.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Chapter 14
“Where am I?” I said out loud. Everything was so dark. I wasn’t in the fort anymore. I felt so alone but at the same time I felt like there where a hundred eyes on me. I looked around trying to get some sort of idea where I was. It didn’t seem like there where walls and there was no light at all. I looked down and couldn’t even see the floor. Then out of the darkness I saw two red dots. Eyes, bright red eyes. Then two more, then more. They were lighting up all around me. There weren’t just a hundred eyes but thousands. I spun in circles feeling scared and intrigued. Then blinding light as flames shot up from the ground and temporarily revealed the sources of the eyes. Thousands of demons, some huge, some small. Dripping fangs, some looked like lizards some like people. As quick as I could see them the world fell back into darkness. I let out a loud scream, it echoed all around me, then they started screeching as well. I could feel them getting closer, I could feel the drool and saliva dripping on me. Then the fire again and they were all around me, pressing down on me.
There was another shrill screech and my eyes shot open. My heart was racing and I was trying to regain my composure. Edith laid next to me screeching into the room. I must have fallen asleep, the dream felt so real. I took a couple deep breaths and tried to calm myself. It was hard to do with this wretch next me making so much noise. I turned to her and said as calmly as I could “Please shut up or I’m going to have to gag you.” She kept up the screaming and I screamed back “Shut up now or I’ll give you something to scream about!” Her screams stopped and she said through a cracking voice “Why are you doing this Michael? What did I do to you?” I laughed and said “Nothing, you did nothing, your innocent and will find your place in heaven. I plan on doing some amazingly terrible things to you, you’re going to suffer, and you’re going to feel a pain you never knew existed. Then you will die and you will go to wherever you go.” She looked terrified but steadied her voice and said “You couldn’t do that Michael, you’re too good.” I smiled at her and got to my feet.
I walked over to my table and took my shirt off. I picked up the rabbits foot, again pressing it to my lips and put it around my neck. Then picking up the little pocket knife I asked “Are you ready Edith? This is going to hurt, but they tell me if you concentrate hard, you can find pleasure in the pain.” She started screaming again, but I instantly tuned her out. A feeling of wonder washed over me. I could feel the other me step up and take the reins. I heard him laugh in my head and I laughed out loud. We were one, and together we were going to experience this amazing moment.
We stepped forward and got to our knees. We used the blade to cut Ediths shirt down the middle and lift it off of her chest. We ran our fingers over the skin of her belly. It was a little wrinkly but felt like heaven under our fingertips. Then with the tip of the blade we cut through just the top couple of layers of skin. We aren’t ready for the blood yet. Her body tensed and we slipped a little, a tiny dot of blood bubbled up through the little cut we made. We almost lost control, almost jammed the knife in and cut her open, but with much concentration we regained control.
We made an X about the size of a half dollar just above her belly button. We got up and walked to the table, setting down the knife we picked up the 18 volt cordless drill. We walked back to her side and said “Listen to us very carefully, if you resist and spoil this for me, it will be so much worse.” We squatted down and pressed the tip of the silver drill bit against the center of the X and took a deep breath.
Squeezing the trigger on the drill gently we watched as the bit turned slowly. It caught her skin and we felt a surge of electricity shoot through our body as the skin of her stomach twisted and stretched around the bit. It was amazing how resilient her skin was as the bit turned and her skin stretched we could see the tension growing. Then in a split second it started to tear, the blood poured from the wound and her body twisted in agony. A chunk of skin about the size of a baseball tore loose and wrapped around the drill bit. We lifted it off of her stomach. We didn’t want the bit to bite down and drill down into her. We stood up and looked at her with a huge smile on our face. Her face was twisted with pain as she screamed. We couldn’t hear her at all, but knowing that she was feeling it made me that much more excited.
We walked back to the table and set down the drill. We peeled the flesh off of the end of it and played with it in our hands for a moment. It was so bloody and fleshy. We weren’t ready to get lost yet so we put the chunk of flesh down on the table and picked up the pliers. One more for today and we might need to rest some more. This can’t be easy on her body and we don’t want her going into shock.
Walking back to her we felt full of energy, completely recharged. We sat down next to her head and cupped her face. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. She looked like she was in excruciating pain. We took the pliers and quickly stuck them inside of her mouth grabbing her tongue before she realized what was happening. We felt her struggle and try to pull her tongue back, but that wasn’t going to work as we squeezed down tighter. She couldn’t move her head because of the rope around her neck. We squeezed down on the pliers and watched as her tongue flattened between them. Her eyes were wide open and looking straight into ours. We squeezed tighter and watched as her tongue crushed into the shape of the teeth of the pliers. Blood started to seep out of her tongue. She was screaming though the pain but she started to gurgle on her own blood.
We panicked, “Stupid!” we yelled, thinking she was going to choke on her own blood we let up on the pliers and removed them from her mouth. She coughed hard and a wad of blood came up out of her mouth landing on her cheek. We sat and watched making sure that she was breathing. We said “Can you breathe ok?” she didn’t answer, rude bitch. We reached down to the hole in her skin and stuck two fingers into it “I’ll ask again, can you breathe ok?” She screeched nodding her head. “Good, we think this is enough for today.”
We took the pliers back to the table and got the first aid kit. We couldn’t let her bleed to much. She needed to be alert for round two. We cleaned her wounds and bandaged her stomach up. Her tongue would be fine. We said “Alright, you get some rest. We’ll be back in the morning to continue our play date.” We walked slowly out of the fort and I felt the other me melt away.
I stood outside of the fort, listening to Edith scream and thought to myself “That was incredible. It was everything I needed.” Then just past the edge of the clearing in the dark forest I barely caught two red eyes, then they were gone. “It couldn’t have been.” I thought to myself, convincing myself that it was just in my head. I headed back to the house, leaving Edith screaming in the background.
By time I walked back up to the back steps of the house, still shirtless and with blood on my hands, I was whistling a tune and couldn’t hear Edith at all. I felt fantastic. I went in through the back door, at first cautious but then realizing I didn’t have to worry about anybody. The house was mine and there was no one in it to catch me or tell me what to do.
I washed the blood from my hands in the kitchen sink. Then pulled my shirt over my head and went to the freezer to find something to eat. We were a little low on food seeing as Edith hadn’t been to the store in a couple weeks. I got out some ham and cheese and put together a nice little sandwich. Heading to the media room I grabbed a bag of chips and a soda.
I flipped the Bruins game on with the projector and sat down. I was so hungry and tore through the sandwich quick. Sitting back in the couch I realized how relaxed I felt. This was the best day of my life so far and I am hoping there are many more to come. I wasn’t even thinking about tomorrow and what’s to come. A state of perfect relaxation and euphoria poured down over me. I watched the game and lost myself, not a single thought or stress passing through me. I felt a smile more genuine than I have in ages spread across my lips.

[Jake.Ashworth]

After the game ended and I had eaten my fill of chips I sat up and decided that I wanted to talk to Sarah. I got up without picking up my trash and headed upstairs. Ha, I didn’t even have to clean up anymore. Life was going to be so much better. I walked down the quiet hallway, the house was really quiet without anyone in it. Walking by Edith’s room I decided to close the door, I would worry about cleaning up some other time. Then on to my room.
When I came through the door to my room I stripped down and headed straight for the bathroom to take a shower. I climbed in and turned the water on pretty hot. Standing there under the water I allowed myself to reflect on the day’s events. It was pretty amazing that I had managed to get her out there. As the water ran over my skin I thought about all of the sights and the smell of Edith’s fresh blood as it ran out of her stomach. Tomorrow we get serious, tomorrow will be the end of Edith time.
Climbing out of the shower feeling completely refreshed and exhilarated I through on some boxers and stopped at the computer to see if Sarah was online. I didn’t have to pull up the site because it was pretty much the only thing I got on the computer anymore. As I started clicking through I sat down and felt myself start to zone out. Sarah wasn’t there but she had left me a private message. It was pretty simple:
Master,
I have missed you lately, are you mad at me? I need to talk to you, I need the release and no one else on this silly site makes me feel as special as you do. Please meet me back here soon.

Love,
Sarah
I would send her back a message later, right now, I felt like I needed to type a story. I clicked back to the main page of the forum and found the Literature and Short Stories section. From there I created a new thread and entitled it “Torture: Day 1” I commenced in writing a short story about a young man who had recently lost both of his parents and decided to torture and murder his caretaker. It was very detailed, you could almost mistake it for a journal. I wrote about the drill and crushing “Lucy’s” tongue between the teeth of pliers. I wrote at the bottom that “Day 2” would be posted tomorrow.
After reading back through it I felt entirely satisfied with the story and then started thinking about how I was going to reply to Sarah. I really needed to talk to her as well. I needed to pull her back in before I lost her. She is the next step in my plan, and I guess I kind of missed talking to her. She was a good girl, very obedient. I clicked the reply button on the bottom of her private message and began typing:
Sarah,
I am not mad at you. I have had some things I needed to handle the last couple of weeks and haven’t been able to get on. I am back now, and I have some wonderful things to talk to you about.
Love,
Master
P.S. You should read the story I started on the forums, it’s a good one and is going to get better.
That should appease her. I stretched and looked at the time. Only 10 pm and I am exhausted, it was a long day. I flipped off the lights and headed for bed. As I was laying down I rolled toward the windows and saw two small red dots off in the distance. I knew what they were and I knew they were watching me.
For the next hour I stared back at them not wanting to look away just in case they took the opportunity to get closer. But eventually I drifted off to sleep. I had pleasant dreams that night. Dreams of Edith’s contorted face and of Sarah completely naked sitting on my lap, blood pouring out of her wrists all over both of us. Dreams that did nothing but make me happy, no sign of the demons or fire, it was nice.
The next morning was pretty standard and I think it will become my normal routine. I got up and got dressed, had breakfast and watched some cartoons. Around 9 am I decided that Edith probably needed some food and water, plus I should check her bandages. After I turned off the TV and cleaned up last night’s mess I headed for the kitchen. I have decided that I can’t let the house get messy, even though I could it would drive me crazy. I made a couple scrambled eggs and put some water in a water bottle, packed it all in a lunch box and headed out.
The walk through the woods was nice. I stopped for a minute to admire the pretty spring morning at the creek. As I was standing there I realized I should be able to hear Edith’s screams if she was still at it. But all I could hear was the soft sound of water flowing over rocks and wind blowing through the fresh green leaves. So either she finally got some rest, or she got loose, but I really don’t think that could have happened. I was very careful in tying her up. I continued on my little path to the fort. After walking into the clearing and down the little path in the tall grass I finally came to the little building. I didn’t want her to hear me before I saw her, her screams would ruin the moment. I walked softly around the fort and peeked around the corner. There she was, exactly as I had left her. She was fast asleep, her head awkwardly hung to the side so she wouldn’t choke. I could see her chest rising and lowering slowly. It looks like the blood might have seeped through her bandage a little but I must have done a decent job because it didn’t leak out.
I walked around the corner clearing my throat loudly. Edith’s breath hitched and I saw her hold it a second. I imagine she was having one thought in waking “Please tell me yesterday didn’t happen and I’m in my bed.” I said out loud to her “No such luck, it’s all too real and it’s going to be even more fun today. I brought you breakfast though.” I wanted her to feel like a part of me still gave a shit, when in all actuality I just wanted to keep her alive as long as I could. I knew the protein would help her energy level so that she doesn’t pass out to easy.
I sat down cross legged on the floor next to her. She tried to talk to me but her tongue was pretty swollen. I took the water bottle and sprayed it into her mouth. She winced from the pain but sucked it down greedily. I spoke to her knowing that she couldn’t talk back “Im planning on feeding you and letting you rest a little, but then we will play some more. Im going to make it last as long as I can but I make no promises.” I could see a mixture of terror and sadness in her eyes. She whimpered a little but didn’t scream. I said “I want you to try hard to enjoy this. I know it hurts but I am trying to show you a new world.” Tears streamed down her cheeks. I spoon fed her mouthfuls of eggs. She chewed very slowly trying not to bite her swollen tongue. She ate every bite and finished the bottle of water, I cupped her cheek and said “Good girl, now take some deep breaths and rest, we will start in a couple hours.”
Walking out of the fort I felt like this was going exactly how I wanted. The plans may have gotten mixed up a bit and I probably could have thought out the process better but overall I am happy. I looked back over my shoulder and noted that Edith wasn’t pulling on the ropes, it looks like she has given up hope in escape which is nice. I’m not really sure how to kill the next couple of hours, I didn’t have any plans and I was getting anxious. I decided to go back to the big rock by the creek and just relax a bit. I needed to be rested up too, it was going to be a long afternoon.

[Jake.Ashworth]

The rock was cold from the cool spring morning. I laid back and stared up into the trees. As I was looking up I started to see faces in the entwined limbs and branches of the trees. They were looking down at me, every time the wind blew they would change and move. I felt like they were watching me just as I was watching them. It was somewhat comforting to know that someone was there with me. I kept thinking about life and how things are changing. The other me, let me say that im not crazy, I know that the other one is just another side of myself. It is hard to describe the feeling inside of me when that part of me takes over, the easiest way I can think of is by saying that there are two of us. The other me seemed to know a lot more about what we were doing. I knew that there was a greater purpose and that I would change the world, but I had no idea how that would come to be yet. I have this feeling that I was important, very important. That the world needed me and my name would end up in huge letters someday. It was an incredible feeling. Right now I am in training, I am learning my craft and honing my skills.
I must have drifted off while lying there because I found myself in that dark room again. The red eyes stared at me from everywhere. Then the fire, but instead of a burst flames shot up everywhere and stayed. The entire place lit up and it was huge, it went on for as far as I could see. The sky was deep red and smoke filled it like clouds. Although surrounded by fire I was not hot at all, I felt comfortable, I felt at home. The demons that had been staring knelt to one knee and bowed. I stood straight up and through my arms into the air. I felt so powerful. And all at once, it ended.
My eyes shot open and he was with me, we were together again. And we felt stronger than ever. We got to our feet and ran off toward the fort. We didn’t care how long it had been or if she had rested enough, it was time. She heard me coming this time because we could hear her start to cry out loud. We came through the doorway and we could tell that she saw that other us. Her body tensed up and she pulled on the ropes at her arms. Her eyes were huge and bulging. We knelt by her side and placed our hand on her stomach. Drawing in a deep breath we stood back up and went to the table. We took off our shirt and picked up the rabbits foot and put it back around our neck. Then the small pocket knife that was so dear to us. We went back to Edith and held it up so she could see it. Not a word spoken between us, she began to screech through her ruined tongue and pull at all of the ropes. Our voice was firm “Edith, if you keep that up we will stretch this out longer than you could ever want, we will consume your soul.” She instantly relaxed.
We knelt again by her side and slid the knife to the back of her ankle. We ran the blade through the skin at the back of the ankle hoping to cut the Achilles tendon. It’s not that easy to cut through. We had to saw back and forth a few times to get it to cut through. When it did sever it pulled up under her skin real fast. Edith was screaming but we couldn’t hear her, we were in the zone. We cut the other tendon much more smoothly. That wasn’t enough, we wanted to see where it went. We ran the blade up each side of the calf and across just under the knee, cutting all the way through the skin. With a little effort we grabbed the loose skin and peeled it off revealing the dark, bloody ball of muscle that when it had been stretched out had been her calf. We laid the piece of flesh across her bare stomach.
Without noticing what we were doing, the want to feel her blood washed over us and we cut her calf loose from the connecting tendons and veins. We lifted the ball of muscle up and showed it to her. This was the first time we had looked at her face sense this started and we noticed that she looked very faint, like she might be in shock. But when she saw the muscle in our hands her eyes grew and she continued screaming at the top of her lungs. We took the bloody lump to the table and sat it next to the tools. Then our eyes caught on our hands. The blood was everywhere. We rubbed it together in our hands and up our arms. Electricity buzzed through our body again, our muscles twitched and our vision went red. We rubbed the blood all over our chest and face. It smelled so good. We licked our lips and the coppery taste hit our tongue, it was incredible. Our head spun with pleasure and joy. We looked back her way and realized that she had passed out. Her chest was still moving but the pain must have been too much. She was bleeding a lot and wouldn’t last too much longer, but an image of her heart beating inside of her chest raced through our mind. We needed to see it, we wanted to feel the last attempt to pump in our hands before she was finished.
We walked over to her and slapped her face. She didn’t respond, she didn’t even move. We were pissed and kicked her hard in the side. Then again, and she coughed and winced in pain. We reached down and slapped her cheek again, our voice rumbled “Wake up you filthy bitch! We’re not done with you!” Her eyes opened just a slit, but we were happy with that. We made sure she was focused on us and straddled her waist. We knew she could feel my erect penis through my jeans but didn’t care. We took the small blade and pushed it through the skin just under her clavicle. Her eyes opened wide again and that was all we needed, we had her attention.
The blade ran down her chest between her breasts, splitting the skin open inch by inch. Blood seeped out of the cut as it went. It was a beautiful site. We ran the blade all the way down to the bottom of her rib cage. Then just beneath her breast we made another cut from side to side. We could tell she was screaming by the way her chest was moving. We peeled back the flaps of skin that we had made revealing her ribs and the fatty mass of muscle where her breasts are. An amazing feeling had come over us, this was an opportunity to see the life flow out of her but we had to work fast. We could see the life leaving her as we went. After getting the skin peeled back we couldn’t figure out how to get through her ribs. Panicked fluttered over us as her life drained away. We had to get there, we jumped up and ran to the tool box. There had to be something there, something… “Hammer!” I heard myself yell.
We jumped back on her stomach and her eyes popped open again but only briefly. We yelled “Woman!” we could see her eyes peel back just a slit. We raised the hammer above our head and brought it down hard on the right side of her chest. There was a loud cracking sound as I watched two of her ribs shatter. “Perfect.” We did it a couple more times on each side destroying her rib cage. We hurriedly pulled out all of the broken chunks of bone revealing a lot of parts we had only seen in small animals, but there wasn’t time to really enjoy it. We could see how shallow the beats of her heart were. We reached down and slid our left hand under it. The feeling shooting through our body was absolute perfection. Our eyes looked up into hers which had opened wide again. The moment was upon us.
We didn’t squeeze or pull on her little bloody heart. We leaned in close to her face and whispered “Thank you, this was amazing, you were wonderful.” We kissed her gently on the lips and stared deeply into her eyes. Her heart beat had slowed and lightened and our smile was the last thing she saw as her soul left her body. We watched as the last beat ended and her blood stopped pumping. We felt her power drain into us, a surge of life shot through us as we watched her disappear.
We sat like that for another five or ten minutes, then we collapsed on top of her. Everything was absolutely perfect. We slipped out of consciousness and passed out on top of her bloody raw body. Clean up would come later, right now we just needed this feeling all over.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Chapter 15
As I came back into myself, waking up slowly, I realized where I was and took a deep breath letting out a sigh. I sat up peeling myself off of the bloody corpse under my body. The blood had dried all over my skin and it felt sticky and wonderful. My skin had stuck to what was left of Edith’s body. I sat back and looked down admiring what I had done. The blood was still wet where I had been laying and glistened in the morning light coming in from the doorway. I pushed my hands into her chest feeling the blood gush through my fingers. She was still a little warm but I could tell that she was starting to cool down. I moved around her lungs and her heart looking at all of the bloody little details. It was amazingly intriguing. Her face was finally relaxed and I felt like I could see just a hint of happiness. I wonder if she found the pleasure before she expired.
I knew that I had to start thinking about disposing of her, but I was loving every second of this. Finally I stood up, separating our bodies. I looked down at my blood covered body and then at hers. It was a good night, I must have laid there with her for ten hours. There were no dreams, no demons, no voices. Everything felt right. I stepped away from the body and over to the table. Slipping the rabbits foot from around my neck, I noticed that it was caked in Edith’s blood. I would have to remember to clean that later.
This is the hardest part of this process “How am I going to make Edith disappear?” I asked myself out loud. I sat wracking my brain for what seemed like forever but I am pretty sure it was just a couple minutes. Then it came to me, I would dig a deep hole, put the body in it and burn it until there was nothing left. Then bury it. That seemed like the best way to get rid of her. I untied her arms and legs and pulled the rope around her neck off. I had to fight my instincts constantly, I wanted so bad to dive back into her body.
After I had her loose and resting on the flat blood soaked earth floor of my fort, I went around to the back of the fort looking for a clear spot to dig the pit. I need to make sure its as deep as I can get it and much bigger around than the one I had dug for the coyote trap. About twenty feet behind the fort was a perfect spot. It was an area where the tall grass had died and rotted and the ground was flat and loose. I would need to get the shovel and probably grab some food and water, it was going to be a long day.
I walked out of the woods toward the house, still thinking back to the evening before. Not everything went as planned but it was still beautiful. I went the back door, still not wearing a shirt and still covered in dried blood. I thought hard about taking a shower but I didn’t see the point, I was just going to have to move her again. So I went to the fridge and grabbed the milk and cereal and sat down to have a good breakfast. It was delicious, it almost seemed as though my sense of taste was stronger. I cherished every bite of cocoa puffs like it was a brand new thing. They had never tasted like this before, even the milk was incredible. I started to wonder if last night caused all of these feelings. Could I have gained something from Ediths death? I wasn’t sure what to think.
Leaving my bowl and the cereal out I grabbed a box of matches out of the junk drawer and headed back outside. I took a minute to stand at the back door and look into the sky. Was it my imagination or did the clouds seem closer? I felt this overwhelming sense that something truly incredible happened last night, I didn’t want this feeling to ever end. I ran down to the shed and collected the shovel and the jug of gasoline that was kept there to fuel the lawnmower. “I have to remember to fire the lawn man.” I thought to myself, I really don’t need anyone poking around.
The woods where a sight, as I walked back through them to the empty spot behind my fort I took in the sounds of the animals moving around and the bright green of the leaves. It felt like I was seeing everything for the first time. I could actually feel the rocks and sticks under my feet through my sneakers.
Before I knew it I walked out into the clearing and headed toward the spot I was going to use for a makeshift burial grounds. The shovel plunged into the earth with no resistance. I felt strong and powerful as I scooped shovelfuls of dirt out of the hole. I dug straight down at first then outward making the hole about five feet across and not stopping until it was almost eight feet deep. I was so caught up in the moment I almost dug myself to deep and got stuck. I used roots and footholds I broke loose to climb my way out of the hole. I didn’t feel the least bit tired, there was still a sense of electric running through my body.
Going into the woods I needed to gather a lot of wood and start a fire before I put Edith into the pit, then I would start another fire on top of her. I need to make sure that she is completely incinerated. I gathered up four armfuls of branches and tossed them into the pit. I poured about half of the jug of gasoline onto the pile of wood. I took the box of matches out of my pants pocket and struck three of them. I tossed the matches into the pit and the wood burst into flames send a small fireball into the air. It scared the crap out of me and I jumped back, I guess I didn’t need so much gas. It was approaching noon and it was starting to get kind of warm out. I sat back and let the wood burn down a little bit and smolder. The smell of the wood burning was nice. It kept making popping and hissing noises as it burned down.

[Jake.Ashworth]

I hoped up and went back to the front of the shed. As I walked in I said “Hey Edith, I guess we aren’t going to be having our lessons today.” And laughed a little. Of course I wasn’t expecting to hear a response but it was a little funny to imagine it “No Michael, I think I’m going to need a couple days off, I’m not feeling well.” I grabbed her by her ankles and dragged her out of the fort.
She didn’t feel heavy this time. My muscles tensed under my sweaty skin as I dragged her the fifty feet or so from the spot that we had played to the hole. It was putting off a ton of heat now. This should work perfectly. I pushed her up to the edge and yelled “Geronimo!” as I pushed her over the edge. Her body tumbled down the side of the hole and landed on the pile of embers and sticks that where burning. When she came to rest her arms and legs where a contorted mess and her dead empty gaze pointed straight up out of the pit.
I went straight out to the woods to find more sticks, this time bringing back about twice as many and throwing them into the pit as I went. By the time I felt satisfied you could barely tell there was a body under all the brush I had filled the hole with. I, carefully this time, poured the rest of the gasoline into the hole making sure to aim for the body. Black smoke billowed out of the hole as the trash burned down. I stood next to hole and thought about the future and about how I needed to come up with a better way of handling this process.
A vision passed over me of the clearing, one side filled with small grave markers. The other end of the clearing, where my fort should be, there was a cinder block building. The building was only slightly larger than my fort. I couldn’t see any windows or doors but I also couldn’t see the entire building. Then the vision was gone and I knew that I needed to build this place. I needed to make somewhere I could be more creative.
I stood there and watched as the fire swallowed Edith whole. I would let this burn down until there was no more flame, then assess what was left and decide what to do from there. I had a feeling it would burn for the rest of the day so I headed back to the fort to finish cleaning up before going back to the house.
Although trying to keep everything clean I could tell that I got carried away. The fort was a mess. There was blood all over the place. I wasn’t too worried about it though. I wanted to get the tools cleaned up and get my rabbits foot back home. I thought my clothes are probably not salvageable. I took my pants and underwear off and grabbed the shirt that was balled up on the floor and through them in the fire. The piece of flesh ripped off of Edith’s stomach was still sitting on the table next to the drill. I wanted to keep it. I grabbed the little blob of flesh and the hammer I had used to break through Edith’s rib cage and nailed it to the wall.
Gathering all of the bloody tools in the wheelbarrow I started back to the house. Looking back over my shoulder as I walked into the forest out of the clearing I saw the smoke pouring out of the hole and through the smoke on the opposite side of the hole I saw a large hooved creature standing what seemed like ten feet tall. It had huge hooves and the legs of a powerful horse. Just above the waist it shifted into a lizard scaled torso. Its arms and stomach where very muscular and a dark green color. Its head was tilted down and seemed to be looking into the hole. The head was also very lizard like. It hid small beady black eyes on the top of its head. It looked up toward me and when it saw me looking back it bowed at the waist and then jumped into the pit. Embers and flame shot up out of the pit and there was a loud cracking sound. “I don’t think I have to worry about any remains.” I said to myself and anyone else who wanted to hear as I started into the woods.
I emerged from the woods by the shed and walked over to the garden hose attached to the side of the shed. I carefully ran the cold water over all of the tools making sure to get every little bit of blood and sinew off of the drill bit and the hammer. The wheelbarrow hadn’t seen any blood so I didn’t have to wash it. It dawned on me that I was standing here at the side of the shed, completely nude except for my sneakers and socks. I briefly looked around forgetting how all alone I was out here. Then finished my project and headed inside leaving the tools in the wheelbarrow sitting in the sun to dry.
Walking through the house nude was a little liberating. I walked the halls thinking about how different things are. Feeling like I have grown so much over the last few months. My mind turned to Sarah, I need to start concentrating on nourishing that relationship. My voice in my head said that we had big plans for her and possibly her boyfriend. While thinking about all of this I had wondered upstairs and was walking down the hall to my room.
Back in my room, I looked all around taking in the colors and smells like it was the first time I had ever been here. I kicked off my shoes and grabbed some shorts and a t-shirt out of my dresser. I sat down at the computer to reach out to Sarah and start drawing her into my trap. Just as I flipped on the monitor I heard a noise. I stopped everything and sat perfectly still listening. Then it came again, there was someone in the yard. I jumped up and shot to the window. Scanning the yard back and forth looking for anything that could have made that noise I didn’t see anything. But I heard it again, and this time I knew what it was.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Chapter 16
I jumped back into my shoes and ran for the door. Down the hall and out the back door as quickly and quietly as I could. The door to the shed hung open and the older gentleman that took care of our yard, I think his name was Pedro, was rustling around in there no doubt looking for his gas tank and wheelbarrow. I snuck around the side of the shed facing the house, then around the back and came up on the wheelbarrow sitting in the sun drying. I grabbed the hammer and walked around the front of the shed to the door. Pedro was scratching his head and looking into the shed. I took two steps forward, raised the hammer above my head and brought it down as fast and powerful as I could.
I watched as the world shifted into slow motion. The hammer cut through the air like it was a knife through clothe. As it made contact with the back of Pedro’s head I saw his scalp split open and the white of his skull flash in the light from the setting sun. A gush of bright red blood shot through the air and splattered across the window at the side of the shed. His knees buckled and his legs looked like gummy worms. He went down face first. His mouth made contact with the edge of a work bench and one of his teeth popped loose and rolled across the floor. I looked around the room at the tooth, the work bench, and then the window. I saw a set of eyes peaking over the edge of the window. The eyes looked human but where dark red. The skin looked burnt and crusty. I could tell without seeing it head on that it was smiling.
I looked back toward Pedro who had gone completely limp on the floor. Everything caught back up and shifted back into full gear. I realized I didn’t have a plan for Pedro at all, but I wanted to play with him. I quickly grabbed my rope and his ankles and started to try to pull him out of the shed. He was much heavier than Edith, I wasn’t going to be able to move this one as easily. I stood there contemplating what to do. I surveyed the room and realized I could use the shed, but I would have to get anything that could be used as a weapon out of here.
I spent the next hour rushing all of the blades and saws out of the shed. Anything that looked sharp or heavy I took around to the side of the shed and laid in the yard. I noticed that the grass was getting a little long and thought to myself “Im going to have to call the gardener…” Then laughed at myself as I realized what I was thinking. I went back into the shed and grabbed Pedro’s arms pulling him to the leg of the workbench that was bolted to the floor. I tried his hand together and to the bench as tightly as I could. I didn’t want him to be able to get up at all. I tied some rope around his ankles and rolled him onto his stomach. The rope I tied to his ankles I ran up and around his wrists as well, it was the closest thing to hog tying as I could get without having ever done it. I emptied his pockets, not interested in his wallet I stuck that in my pocket along with his car keys. I needed, wriggling my fingers down his front right pocket “There it is.” I said out loud “This should come in handy later, we don’t want your family to come looking for you.” I said to the unconscious body on the floor as I pulled the cell phone out of his pocket.
I think I will keep this one for a while I thought silently to myself as I looked on at the tied up body lying on the floor. I turned and walked out kicking the door shut behind me. Back inside I had some lunch and decided to relax a bit before going back to talk to Pedro and work out his family situation. I plopped down in the media room and put on one of my favorite movies. The opening scene of the first Hellraiser flashed across the screen, screams and the sounds of blades being sharpened. The camera pans across a tall Victorian house then goes inside to explore it room by room as the screams get louder. I love this opening sequence and the thought behind this movie, that extreme pain can bring great pleasure, makes me happy.
The movie entrances me every time and by the end of it I am completely absorbed. I barely noticed the screams from outside in the shed. As the movie fades out and the credits roll, I feel just as satisfied as I always do when it ends. I will watch the rest of the series over the next few days, it’s hard for me to just watch the first.
As I am sitting on the couch listening to the music over the credits and living in the dream state I always leave these movies in, the screams start to pierce my veil of ecstasy. I shake my head a little and realize Pedro is awake. I knew he wouldn’t be easy to convince to stay, but I was going to. I grabbed the cell phone I took from Pedro’s pocket and went back outside. While I walked down to the shed, listening to the screams get louder, I flipped through the phone book looking for anything that hinted towards it being his wife.
I pulled the door to the shed open and said “Good afternoon sleepy! I trust you slept well. I was wondering, what’s your wife’s name?” He screamed back a bunch of expletives in Spanish. I could only make out a few. I shook my head and said “Listen very carefully Pedro.” And he broke in with more cursing. I stood up and kicked him as hard as I could in the side. He winced and coughed hard, then started screaming again. I put two more hard kicks into his ribs, then one solid blow to his face. He spit blood out onto the floor and looked up at me shocked.
“Now Pedro, do I have your attention?” He nodded with a look of terror and disbelief in his eyes. I said “Pedro, I am going to keep you here for a little while and we need to let your wife know that you aren’t going to be coming home.” He started to refuse and shake his head, he looked like he was panicking. I made a fist and brought it down hard on his temple. “Pedro, you’re going to have to understand that your fate is sealed, but if anyone comes here looking for you, theirs will be as well.” He spit some more blood onto the floor. I could see the anger and fear in his eyes, it was a beautiful site.
“I’m going to let you think about it for a little while and when I come back, I expect you to comply.” I got to my feet and laid one more hard kick to his mid-section and said “I will convince you one way or another.” I walked to the door listening to his labored breath behind me. As soon as my hand touched the knob he started screeching again. I walked out and stood on the other side of the door. I would have to wait until he stopped screaming and then try again.
I looked up into the air and could see the black smoke that had been pouring out of the fire pit. It looked like it had been dissipating and was almost gone. I needed to make sure everything burnt down ok so I started walking out into the woods toward the fort. I could hear Pedro’s screams behind me again and listened to them fade away slowly as I walked to the clearing in the woods.

[Jake.Ashworth]

When I walked out of the woods and into the clearing I could tell there was very little smoke coming out of the pit anymore. I walked through the knee high grass over to the pit half expecting the demon I saw jump into the pit earlier jump back out. The heat shooting up out of the pit was almost unbearable. I looked over the edge as long as I could and said a lot of ash and a few tree limbs still burning. There was short flames dancing across the surface of the ash, but little sign of anything else. In the corner of the ash pile I saw the top half of Edith’s skull sticking out.
“Perfect” I thought. I planned on letting it burn itself out and then filling it in. Then I would have to dig another one for Pedro. I should be exhausted but I was completely full of energy. I left the pit to burn out and went back into the woods. For the walk back I day dreamed of a large cinder block room with chains and tools hanging from the walls. Somewhere I could really concentrate on inflicting great pain. The walk was quick while my mind was somewhere else.
I broke back through the shaded barrier of the trees and noticed that I couldn’t hear Pedro. This time I was going to break him. I ran into the house and grabbed the little digital recorder that Jennifer had kept in the desk in the study. I thought about rewinding it and playing it just to her voice again, but shook the thought. I have work to do, and tonight I will get to relax and enjoy some quality time with Sarah. I didn’t need Jennifer.
Back outside I walked down to the shed. I tested the recorder during the walk to make sure it worked well and was clear. I would record over whatever was on it with Pedros voice. I pushed the door open and there was Pedro, lying on his side, arms and legs still bound together. His eyes moved away from me, like he could just ignore me away. I walked over to him and said “You will make a recording for me, exactly as I say. If not, I have your ID and I will go to your house and slaughter your wife and children and anyone else who gets in my way.” He started crying and sobbing. It was pathetic and it made me smile. I reached out to his cheek with my hand and wiped the tears from his face. Then I licked the salty wetness from my finger. I heard him say “Your loco…” under his breath. I laughed hard. I asked “Pedro, are you going to make the recording?” He nodded.
I took the little recorder out of my pocket and told him “You’ll repeat after me, word for word. I need it to sound real.” I hit record and said “Tell your wife that you have decided to leave her.” He said in a thick Puerto Rican accent “Hey Mama, I need to tell you I am leaving.” I said “Tell her she can keep the kids and what’s in the bank, you are going out west to get away.” He began “I’m going out west to get away from everything. You can keep everything we have and tell the boys I love them.” Now say “This will be the last time you hear from me.” I held the recorder back out to him “You won’t hear from me again, Im so sorry, I love you.” By this time he was balling but I think it sounded more real that way. I said “Good job Pedro, now you just rest here for a while.” I got up and left the shed feeling great about how well that went.
The plan was to run it through my computer and edit my voice out of it to make it sound more natural. I went up to my room and sat at the computer. I pulled up a small web browser and clicked through to the site to see if Sarah was on. I sent her a message and within two seconds I got back “Master!!!!” She is there. I sent her a quick response. “Tonight we need to talk about something serious, but I have some work to do right now. I will meet you back on here at 10.” She replied simply “Yes Master.”
I hooked the recorder up to the computer and uploaded the file. It didn’t take long at all to clip out the chunks with my voice in it and clean up the edges so that it came out smoothly. What I ended up with sounded something like this “Hey Mama, I need to tell you I am leaving. Im going out west to get away from everything. You can keep everything we have and tell the boys I love them. You won’t hear from me again, I’m so sorry, I love you.” It came out perfect. I saved the file on the computer and found his wife’s number in the cell phone.
I took a deep breath and hit the call button. It rang about five times and a voicemail picked up. It read the number back and said to leave a message after the beep. I held the phone up the the computer speakers and as soon as the phone beeped, I hit play. After everything was said I hung the phone up and sat back in the chair. That should fix the family, but Im sure the cops would come buzzing around eventually. She had to know this was the only place that he was supposed to work at today and his truck is sitting right out front in the driveway.
Searching through the drawers of my computer desk I found what I was looking for. The card from the limo driver was sitting at the bottom of one of the drawers under piles of paper and notes I had written. I picked up the phone on my desk and called him, it rang a couple times and he picked up “Blackstar services” I said “This is Michael, we met a couple years ago at my father’s funeral, do you remember me.” He said “Yes sir, in need of a discrete driver?” a smile stretched across my face “Yes, I need you to take a cab out to my house, I will text you the address. I need to make this extra clear, this is strictly confidential.” He said “Yes sir, not a word to anyone.” I replied “Thank you, I will see you soon, I will pay you when you get here.” I hung up the phone and quickly texted him the address.
I went down to the library and to the small safe that was kept behind one of the book cases. Mother had told me the combination years ago. She said “This is only for emergencies, there should be plenty in here if you ever need it.” I swung the safe open and reached in feeling around for the stack of bills. There was $10,000 in hundred dollar bills tucked away in the safe. I slipped out a thousand of it and returned the rest to the safe. The door swung back shut with a loud thunk. I moved the bookshelf back into place, it was on a couple of big rollers and glided across the hard wood floor of the library smoothly.

[Jake.Ashworth]

I took the money and the keys and went to the front door. I stared out the window and waited to see the taxi pull up. It took about another 30 minutes to get here. I saw the headlights pulling up the drive somewhere around 730. The sun had set and the cool of the spring evening had blown in. I watched as he stepped out of the car and walked to the front door. I pulled it open and greeted him with an outstretched hand.
He stepped inside and I told him “We don’t have time for chit chat, I need you to take that truck down to the ghetto and get out. Leave the keys in the seat and the door open. Then just walk away and call another cab. Have that cab take you home and forget about this.” He said “Whatever you say.” I handed him the keys and the small bundle of hundred dollar bills. He flipped through and I saw his eye brows raise. He said “Wow, thank you boss.” I said “Don’t worry about it, you help me and I’ll help you.” He nodded and I walked him back through the still open front door.
I watched as he walked up to the truck, opened the door and climbed inside. It turned over with a steady growl. Pedro must have heard because he started screaming for help. The driver didn’t even bat an eye and turned the big truck around. I watched the tail lights fade into the darkness as he drove down the drive. Pedro stopped screaming as the sound of the engine faded away. I retreated into the house for a quiet dinner and an evening watching Hellraiser and talking to Sarah.
The second Hellraiser was as good as it always is. I ate popcorn and watched it curled up on the couch. I love those Cenobites. After the movie it was about 9:30 and I started upstairs to settle in to a nice long conversation with Sarah. I was going to explain to her my plan, and start teaching her to really obey.
My room was a little chilly so I kicked on the small portable heater next to my desk. I flipped the TV on and switched it to a good low budget horror flick. Background noise is nice. I sat down at the computer and flipped on the monitor. The screen flickered and came on. I clicked the little window that was open to the S&M site that I frequented and maximized it. I flipped through some of the more recent stories. It all seemed a little bit bland after the recent events. Just the same old bondage and snuff fetish stuff. I pulled up my messenger at exactly 10:00 and typed “Sarah” again almost as soon as I hit the send button I got a reply “Yes Master, I have missed you so much.” I typed my reply “We have much to discuss and hopefully you will understand what I have to say.” Sarah replied “I will listen and I will understand, will we play after?” I answered “I’m not sure, it depends on my mood and my mood depends on you.” She said “I’ll listen and I will do anything.” We’ll see about that I thought to myself.
I typed “Sarah, I want you to understand that my world is complicated and it’s going to be hard to accept. If you do, I want to let you in deeper. If you do not, we will part ways and you have to go on quietly or risk repercussions.” There was a pause, and then her response “Master, I would do anything to get closer to you. Tell me anything and it stops here.” I replied “Very well.”
“First thing, I am younger than you thought. That said I am not willing to tell you my age right now.” She said “I understand.” I replied “I have started something great here on my property and I think big things are in my future. I have reason to believe that I will become very powerful when I get a bit older.” She replied “I understand my Master.” I said “I want to ask you, do you trust me?” She said “Yes” I replied quickly “Without any doubt, are you ready to be at my side?” There was some hesitation, then “Yes Master, I want nothing more than to please you.”
That’s the response I was looking for. I asked her “How is your relationship with your boyfriend?” She answered “Things could be better, he found my cuts from the last time we played. He doesn’t understand the way you do.” I replied to her “He doesn’t need to, you won’t be doing it again for a while. I need you to do everything in your power to please him and keep him around.” She answered “Why Master? I don’t think I want to be with him anymore, I want to be with you.” I replied a little exasperated “Listen to me, we need him and when you come here he will come with you.” She sent back “Oh, Ok, I understand now Master. Im sorry I questioned you.”
This seemed to be going well. I sent her another message “I live alone in Massachusetts in a huge house in the middle of the woods. My mother once lived here but she has passed away.” She replied “Do you own the house?” I said “I do, and all of the property around it. So far that no one can hear screams.” She replied thinking I was talking sexually “Oh yeah, would you make me scream?” I jumped at her “We are not doing this now Sarah, I need you to be absolutely obedient. We won’t meet for some time still, but when we do youll hopefully understand.” She replied like a scolded puppy “I’m so sorry Master, I really want you. I want the relief you give me.” I said “We can’t do that, your boyfriend needs to know you are completely dedicated to him. He needs to love you.” She replied “Yes Master. I will be extra good and I will bring him to you.” I said “When you do, will you give him to me? Will you let me do whatever I please with him? Will you watch?” I could hear the excitement as I read her reply “I will Master, I will be right by your side and I will be the happiest girl in the world.” I said “Good girl, now go take care of your man, and think about me while you do.” Her last response was simply “Yes Master.”
Talking to her without getting to see her bleed was difficult but I had to restrain myself. I had a lot of work ahead of me over the next couple of years. I was building a plan in my mind. I needed to take care of Pedro within the next few days, but long term I needed to build that building I saw in my vision. I needed somewhere better than the fort and the shed to play. I also felt like I needed to absorb as much knowledge as I can. I was going to be very powerful and the powerful are normally well educated. But tonight, I needed to sleep. I got up and walked to the window. Looking out into the darkness I could see hundreds of little red eyes looking back at me from the branches of the dark forest. They watch me all the time now, they want more blood. I will feed them, I will satisfy their thirst and in return they will give me the power I am destined to hold.

[Jake.Ashworth]

Well, Brothers, Sisters, friends that I have made on this forum. I have gone and Amazon published this thing. No pressure, I understand if your not interested. Mind you it may vary from what is here, I have re read and changed some things sense I started posting here. I will put the link below, its selling for $2.99. I will continue to post the chapters here and as I promised it will all be here for free. But if you would like to support my first attempt it would be greatly appreciated. Plus reviews on Amazon help, so yeah, thank you to those who have been following on here and those who decide to follow the link and help a brother out. I wish you all the best.

http://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Killer-Jake-Ashworth-ebook/dp/B00UGS7IWO/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1425991676&sr=8-2&keywords=becoming+a+killer