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View Full Version : A dilemma...


ferretchucker
05-29-2011, 05:12 PM
Not mine - I'm not involved in any way, in fact. I accepted a random add who happens to go to my old school (a few years younger) and has a fair few friends in common. Well, in the last 24 hours or so he's received in excess of 100 comments on his facebook wall, each one averaging about 30 comments of equal hatred. These are literally some of the most scathing comments I've seen on Facebook.

The reason?

The boy told people his mother has cancer - not sure how long he kept it up, but it's just become apparent that he was lying. It seems he did so to get attention of some sort. Either way, he has shit heaps of hate coming his way. Understandable that people would be annoyed, but the level of abuse he's had includes;

Death threats and threats of other kinds.
Death wishes
Homophobia (often thrown in with other comments)

And there is a LOT of it. What I wanted to know is your opinions. I personally think what he did was absolutely sick and has absolutely no justification. He'll suffer for it, and karma really will get revenge. But then again...the thing that people keep going to is that "loads of people really DO have cancer" and "think of everyone who's truly effected by it".

Has he really done anything against them? He's not given anybody cancer. He's not detracted from the attention and sympathy that those people get.

Essentially, I'm not sure where I stand on this. I feel for the kid - he's about 12 and he's got more anger and abuse aimed at him right now than I think I've ever seen for somebody who wasn't an athlete or politician. He made a sick lie, but that's all it was. A bit of an attention seeking stunt. The subject matter is serious, and it's cruel to twist people's emotions like that...
Also, he should have more respect and love for his mother than he clearly does.

So yeah, what are you guys thoughts on this? I know obviously nobody will CONDONE the lie, I think basically all of us - and the rest of the population - have been affected by cancer in some way. But do people need to air their hatred for him? Has what he's done had enough of a negative effect that it denotes this backlash? I personally think he should be left alone - not in the sense of "cease abuse". Well, that, but everything else. People should just not have the time of day for him. I wouldn't want to be friends with him! People have no real need to voice their opinions on him, but they shouldn't show him any kindness either. Just leave him well and truly alone.

ChronoGrl
05-29-2011, 05:34 PM
You know what? My dad died of cancer. One of my close friends from high school has cancer... My boyfried's brother has cancer... But some stupid kid's lies won't bring them back or cure them. I just wouldn't waste my energy like that - it's hateful and pointless... I would just unfriend him and ignore him... Don't really think the comments help at all. Also don't have the energy for that kind of hate...

The Villain
05-29-2011, 05:39 PM
Thats a pretty sick and pathetic thing to do if you ask me. But the kid probably has some kind of mental problems if hes doing something like that so maybe someone should be trying to get him help instead of just spewing hate all over him. Honestly what is that really going to accomplish? Its not going to change things by threatening his life or just insulting him, its probably going to make things worse for him until he's pushed over the edge.

I am in no way condoning what he did, that is a disgusting awful thing to do and he needs to know that what he did was wrong. He'll eventually pay for what he did but Facebook insults and threats are just as pathetic and juvenile.

What he needs to do is apologize, delete his facebook, seek some help and everyone should just get on with their lives.

cheebacheeba
05-29-2011, 06:57 PM
I wouldn't ever talk to this person again.
I'm not "outraged", I just think it was very stupid and...well, if they can lie about that, I can't imagine ever being able to bring myself to take them at their word again, about anything.
I could not be in any way involved with a person that I'd constantly wonder about in this regard.
I wouldn't abuse them, but I'd probably not stand to their defense either which could be an equally bad idea (which is why I hope you're not getting in on any of this ferretchucker, don't take kiddy homophobic comments personally).
Probably down to age though.
Pretty attention seeking age...they obviously haven't really put much thought into what they say having a long term effect on how people perceive them, though I'm fairly sure this is a lesson they'd likely pay good attention to.
Pretty high cost.

ManchestrMorgue
05-30-2011, 01:10 AM
I would just unfriend him and ignore him...

Yeah, don't get involved in this war.

These sorts of lies can come about for a few reasons. Sometimes, people just start out with a small lie for some attention/sympathy, and before they know it, it gets bigger than they ever expected and it is too much to back out of.

When they finally are exposed, it becomes very embarrassing and distressing.

Other times, it is for attention (like internet trolling) and all of the outrage it causes.

Either way, it indicates that this guy probably has some psychological needs that aren't being met elsewhere.

It doesn't sound like you are close enough to "save" him. If you are, then a quiet word as to how this all came about would probably be the most appropriate thing. If not, well, it's probably best just to back away quietly...

TheWickerFan
05-30-2011, 01:15 AM
I wouldn't hurl names and death threats at the kid, but I probably couldn't resist pointing out what an incredibly tasteless, immature, and bone-headed stunt that was to pull and then cease talking to him entirely.

ferretchucker
05-30-2011, 10:48 AM
So yeah, basically the same. Like I said, I barely knew him and I just think it's sick - but I don't hate him for it. I guess I pity him. The kid himself is nothing to me - never spoken to him, accepted him because he's a friend of a few friends. I have no qualms in never starting a friendship with him.

I didn't so much make this thread to ask what to do persei, merely get some insight into what you lot think about this sort of thing. I mean, lies are never nice when they're exposed and this is one of the more extreme sorts. Just thought it might spark an interesting debate. Have any of you ever been effected more personally by a lie of this calibre?

missmacabre
05-30-2011, 01:32 PM
He might have hurt some feelings and taken advantage of people emotionally, but he didn't physically harm anyone. What he did was wrong, but could be worse.

Near where I live there was a girl who for yeeears starved herself, shaved her head, waxed her eyebrows and pulled out her own eyelashes. All to convince people that she had cancer and was undergoing expensive procedures and needed money. People held fundraisers, donated money, big galas were held and it came out later that she was lying and living off this money the whole time.

You have a kid who was starved for attention and now he's getting it. I say leave him be, he's got enough to deal with already.