Screaming Children

[TheWickerFan]

Saw this story on the news this morning and wanted to know what everyone thought.

When my children were pre-schoolers, I made an effort to keep them out of fancy restaurants and other places where a temper tantrum would become a major disruption (ie: movie theaters), but a lot of parents don't seem to think anything of it. If one of my kids started shrieking in a public place I would do my best to get them out of there for their sake and those around us.

What do you think?http://news.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474978507500

[ChronoGrl]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v623/Chronogrl/glamdayman1.gif

Cheers, Salty Dog.

I don't consider it "Anti-Children;" I consider it "Pro-happy dining."

[neverending]

I'd eat at that restaraunt in a minute. Everywhere I go there's crying children, and it sets my teeth on edge. When I was a kid I was taught it was wrong to make a fuss in public. Now, parents just smile at everyone around them as if to say "aren't they the cutest?"

[cheebacheeba]

One time when I was a kid, I went over to this other kids house and pocketed one of his matchbox cars.
I kept it under my bed for a few years, just in case.
Took things apart too, all the damn time.
One other time when I was 6, went shopping in a ?K-Mart? at a large shopping mall with my family...I stayed looking at the toys then tried to find 'em...I couldn't.
But I kept my composure and didn't cry like some bitch lost kids, nope, didn't make a scene at all. I waited at entrance to the store until they came out.
Grabbed onto a powerline once, it tingled. Grabbed onto two. Not so nice.
At school, there was this one kid with the same first name as me...and we hung out all the time. We would bring our school cafeteria lunch orders in, and I would order chocolate milk and he would order strawberry, when we got them, we swapped - This was awesome act, covert and known only to us, and felt exciting in an otherwise mundane school day.
Toilet paper balls on the roof, that's the ticket.
My tree climbing skills were unrivaled, and I rode a bmx, bmx was how I rolled.

I was a good kid, and made the best fucking lego.
Also liked to smash bottles.
No fucking yelling or crying in public, so I know when I look at kids pulling this shit, and also their dumbass parents, I know it's not just that I've gotten older. These kids, are assholes.

[TheWickerFan]

I think they were talking about crying babies as well. I don't know why you would want to bring a baby to a restaurant. You know they're going to start crying sooner or later.

[cheebacheeba]

I think they were talking about crying babies as well.
Oh yeah, THEY were.

[TheWickerFan]

Oh yeah, THEY were.

"They" being The Olde Salty Restaurant.

[cheebacheeba]

"They" being The Olde Salty Restaurant.
You're calling 'em pussies?

[TheWickerFan]

You're calling 'em pussies?

What in the name of God are you talking about??:confused:

[cheebacheeba]

Gummi bears.
Melted in the motherfucking microwave.
Don't you know?

[TheWickerFan]

You're two seconds away from going on the Ignore list young man.;)http://www.freewebs.com/collyferret/I%20HAVE%20ONLY%20ONE%20NERVE%20LEFT140X150.jpg

[cheebacheeba]

*Panic attack*

[ferretchucker]

My parents were always very clear about procedure. If we were going to a posh restaurant, this situation was explained to me: if I have an issue, I am to speak to either of my parents quietly and they'll sort it out. I sit still as possible, eat the food nicely (cut it properly, don't make a mess). If I made an commotion, we would leave and I wouldn't be taken out for a nice night like that again. I never did, and so we never had to leave.

I like to think I didn't need this explained to me as I feel I was brought up well enough to understand common courtesy, but what I don't understand is that if parents know they do have children who will cause problems, why do they not use this same briefing process and go through with the threat if necessary? Are they that focussed on getting their night out that they forget about the restaurant full of people also trying to have a night out. I say not only ban screaming children, but ban those who smell! That's a constant thorn in my side.

Smelly screaming children are to be taken to the back room and shot.

[Caenxavier]

I use to work at a restaurant where kids ate for free every Tuesday, it was a cheap steakhouse and bar so the parents would get drunk and obnoxious while the kids ran wild.


I was a bussboy...

I always worked Tuesdays.....:mad:

[fiend_skull]

Personally, I can't stand kids. My mom would never tolerate me acting like a little ass in public and I got punished if I did, as a kid I didn't understand why it was so annoying, years later it all made sense. I remember one time we were at a Denny's having a nice supper and then this huge group (two kids for every adult) came in and the kids went wild. They were running and yelling and the parents didn't even seen to give two shits. Then, the geniuses at Denny's thought it would be a great idea to bring out a TV to try and subdue the little brats, but they just got louder and the TV was now adding to the noise.

I'm not sure how long we stayed (guaranteed not long), but we got the hell out of there as soon as we could. This is just one story on top of tons of grocery story visits and movie theatre incidents that ended with a screaming kid getting what they want or being pulled out screaming at the top of their lungs.

[aprilc1]

When my mini-me was born, I started taking her out to places right away so she'd learn how to behave in public I despise screaming children That's what duct tape and closets are for!

[captain spaulding]

My grandpa had zero tolerence for children, let alone any who would whine, cry, or scream. When his kids were little, the method of keeping them quiet, was a razor strap across the ass. Or another favorite was what was refered to as a switch... The Lilac trees made a wonderful switch. It produced the same effect as the razor strap. Quiet kids. I remember my aunt telling me a story, of how when they were little, they were upstairs in their bedroom talking, and laughing, when from downstairs, came a voice, telling them to shutup or he'd come up there and shut them up, himself. So, the one sister told the other one, if you don't want him to come up here, just pretend you are crying. Well, the one sister could do this, however my aunt tried, and up he came with the razor strap inhand, and said "Laugh at me, will you?" He thought she was laughing at him. I thought he would have mellowed over the years. He had a meathook hanging in the house, and he always told me, that if i went any further than that meathook, he'd hang me up on that hook. Those were the good ole days. You wouldn't dare try that today, however.

[Ferox13]

I thought he would have mellowed over the years. He had a meathook hanging in the house, and he always told me, that if i went any further than that meathook, he'd hang me up on that hook. Those were the good ole days. You wouldn't dare try that today, however.

Your grandpa was Ed Gein?

[FreddyMyers]

Every weekend i work in our bigger dining room for tables of 6-7 up to 20 or so which means plenty of screaming children to run around and get in my friggin way while im busy as hell. All the while the parents couldnt give less of a shit as long as thier L.I.T.'s are full. The kids have absolutly no manners and get no disipline, at times finding it funny to stomp chicken fingers and M&Ms into the rug. If i acted anything like children do these days in a restaurant id would've gotten beat down and dragged outta there. Shame its not like that anymore and the server become babysitters for the lazy parents. No offence to any HDC parents, thats just what I deal with on a daily basis where i live.

[captain spaulding]

No my grandpa wasn't Ed Gein, however, i am related to him. No joke. The meat hook was hanging in the summer kitchen. Where the meat was prepaired.

[ChronoGrl]

Are they that focussed on getting their night out that they forget about the restaurant full of people also trying to have a night out.

Yes. It's complete and utter self-indulgence. I got myself knocked up and delivered the Miracle of Life and now I am some kind of Martyr therefore since my life is so hard as a parent I DESERVE a night out, damnit, screaming kids in tow.

I realize that that is definitely a generalization, but there is definitely this attitude of self righteousness - As though the world owes them something for squeezing out a tot.

I went to see a 10PM showing of Eclipse (and, yes, you can laugh at that) and there was a mother there with what must have been her 3- and 5-year olds... She literally let them run and scream around the movie aisles... Didn't even tell them to sit down or take them out of the theater... Let them run loose in the aisles... I don't get it. First of all, a movie like Eclipse isn't appropriate for little kids (I mean, I got bored - Those kids must have been bored out of their SKULLS)... Take that and multiply it by the fact that they are probably cranky and tired (it being 10-friggin-PM waaaaaaaay past their bedtime), so they're acting out... And mom did nothing.

Even MORE horrifying is that I went to a 10PM showing of the movie Autopsy and a mother came in carrying her child (so the kid must have been under 2... BROUGHT A FUCKING CRYING BABY INTO AN R-RATED HORROR FILM... ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

So FIRST I have no idea what kind of self righteous TRASH thinks that it's appropriate to bring their kids to a 10:00 ADULT MOVIE... But... WHY the FUCK did the theater even let them in in the first place?! I think that theaters should police this shit - Especially when it's an infant being carried into an R-rated movie at TEN O'CLOCK AT NIGHT.

ARGH

The above experiences are among the reasons why I simply do not enjoy going out to the movies anymore. I don't know about anyone else, but to ME, going to the movies was always a special treat... And I knew that I had to SHUT UP and be respectful.

Anyway.

My boyfriend has a theory that occasionally it's incredibly passive-aggressive, people bring poorly-behaved children into a public place like a restaurant, movie theater, etc... These people are angry and frustrated at their "lot in life" and therefore bring in their monsters to inflict pain and frustration on other people (Miserable people like to make others miserable).

So I'd say it's a cross between self righteousness and passive aggressive behavior... Coupled with complete and utter lack of empathy for anyone outside of your direct sphere... I believe that would be narcissism.


You all should check out this Blog - It's quite frankly my favorite Blog ever (which doesn't really mean anything as I don't really do the whole 'Blog' thing):

http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/

STFU, Parents! is a bunch of screencaptures of obnoxious parents who share too much on Facebook.

Examples of parenting posts that go under our current gripe (parents just don't fucking care):

http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/post/147675379/sorry-about-the-teensy-tiny-text-if-youre-having
http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/post/346189337/500th-post-whew-its-been-a-pretty-wacky-24
http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/post/199250518/im-gonna-be-honest-with-you-readers-im-on-a
http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/post/551689938/do-you-know-what-i-hate-when-people-act-like
http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/post/684769927/woe-is-mom-ill-admit-i-can-be-a-pretty-negative

[cheebacheeba]

First of all, a movie like Eclipse isn't appropriate for little kids
Yeah, it's more like 14-17's isn't it?:D

I too get pissed at people bringing their noisy kids to cinemas...not in all cases...I'll accept it when it's a cartoon or an actual kids movie, though in all honesty I think any kind of throwing things, or actual getting out of the seat should be something a parent should control no matter what, eg - if you're not here to watch the movie, we're going.
But - the amount of times I've seen kids bought along to completely inappropriate movies that they clearly have NO interest whatsoever in astounds me...even moreso are the amount of these parents who won't even shush their children as though the small addition of whatever sound they would make to do so, wouldn't be worth the actual potential of shutting them up? A grand total of ONCE have I see a parent actually leave with said child.
Here, they have something called "babes in arms" sessions...I am wholeheartedly behind this...they're of all movies appropriate or otherwise, they run at kid/baby friendly times - ans obviously it's expected that there's going to be some noise....so I say, if they've got a noisy kid that they KNOW is going to fuck it up for everyone else, they should suffer some noisy babies themselves, and hopefully educate their children a little, when even THEY get irritated, complain and then get told (hopefully) "well, frankly this is how everyone ELSE sees YOU."
I don't know when it happened, I don't know when "rules" stopped getting imposed when it came to movie going...I never fucked about like this as a kid or a teen...my guess would be someplace around 16-20 years ago, for some reason things started to lapse, because it seems like these days just about anyone under 20 with very few exceptions has no common courtesy when it comes to their fellow movie-goers. Starts with a child that isn't given ground rules, progresses into an ignorant asshole that has no idea how much everyone else there would actually shoot and kill them in a perfect world.

Yes...people deserve a night out, everyone does...parents however need to accept the reality that for a relatively small stage of their lives, the opportunities to do so will be significantly less. There REALLY should be more focus on "child training" for lack of a better word, so that on the occasions you bring your child, it's not a complete disaster. Babies cry, not a lot you can do there...but if a kid is old enough to talk and communicate/negotiate with, really past that point there's just no excuse for bratty, noisy and otherwise socially inept and annoying behaviour...it's just parents doing a shit job.
Just like every animal - they need to be carefully socialised and any behavioural issues need to be addressed and not ignored in order to correct it.

[Bastet]

I have a son with ADHD, I try hard to keep him quiet and he is respectful of others and his manners are impeccable-strangers have said so! But if I had not developed a thick skin, we would never go anywhere or do anything. Its difficult to balance things when your son has the attention span of a goldfish. Doesn't make him any less cute, but I try my hardest to keep him under controll and at the same time allow him to have the same experiences in life as other children. Its just hard to keep the balance sometimes when we are out and my nerves are frayed.
I can see both sides of the argument. Parents should be responsible and the general public should be tollerant. I manage it 99% of the time so don't see why others can't. My daughter on the other hand, I think was born middle aged and is often more sensible than I.:p

[X¤MurderDoll¤X]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v623/Chronogrl/glamdayman1.gif

Cheers, Salty Dog.

I don't consider it "Anti-Children;" I consider it "Pro-happy dining."

my thoughts exactly.

though I don't mind informing parents that they shouldn't have children and that their brats are going to be drug addicted criminals.

[ChronoGrl]

Here, they have something called "babes in arms" sessions...I am wholeheartedly behind this...they're of all movies appropriate or otherwise, they run at kid/baby friendly times - ans obviously it's expected that there's going to be some noise....so I say, if they've got a noisy kid that they KNOW is going to fuck it up for everyone else, they should suffer some noisy babies themselves, and hopefully educate their children a little, when even THEY get irritated, complain and then get told (hopefully) "well, frankly this is how everyone ELSE sees YOU."

That's pretty awesome - I wish that more theaters around here did that... Then again, I've heard parents complain (no joke) that they don't like those types of sessions because "once one kid starts crying, they all do." Boo hoo.

It is still honestly beyond me why they are even ALLOWED in with little kids to late-night shows... Especially the R-rated ones. I don't care if the parent is over 18... I think that theaters should JUST SAY NO TO BABIES. That's right, you heard it here first, folks. [/QUOTE]


I don't know when it happened, I don't know when "rules" stopped getting imposed when it came to movie going...I never fucked about like this as a kid or a teen...my guess would be someplace around 16-20 years ago, for some reason things started to lapse, because it seems like these days just about anyone under 20 with very few exceptions has no common courtesy when it comes to their fellow movie-goers. Starts with a child that isn't given ground rules, progresses into an ignorant asshole that has no idea how much everyone else there would actually shoot and kill them in a perfect world.



I've experience the same thing!! Not just with parents bringing in kids... But TEENAGERS being really poorly-behaved and talking/texting during movies... I don't understand where the younger generations (oy, now I feel OLD) suddenly thought it was OK to misbehave and be RUDE in the theater. It sucks because now when there's a horror movie that I really really want to see, I can't see it in the theater - Because I know some jackass is going to talk through it and ruin the ambiance. :(

You're right though - It starts with bad parenting... I was always taught to be respectful in public... And when it came to movies... You went there to enjoy the FILM, and NOT to talk with your friends, family, etc. I don't understand where the change came from. And it sucks that it's ruining my movie-going experience.

[ferretchucker]

Can't wait to see some of the hellspawns you guys spew out :p I'll make a point of tracking you down, filming their misbehaviour and posting it in this thread!

[The Flayed One]

It appears to me that a lot of people don't understand what 'sacrifice' means. Having a child is a huge decision. It's completely life altering. Plenty of species sacrifice their own life to raise their spawn to adulthood. I hardly think not being able to dine at one of a bevy of eateries for a few years while you rear your crotch dropling counts as even a mild inconvenience in the grander scheme of things.

Hell, the human race has even developed entire industries to help you be able to enjoy activities where children are not welcome. For the price of a parking spot in most big cities and a little investigation, you can find some teen willing to food and water your little troglodyte for a few hours. Not comfortable with/too cheap for that? Send them to a relatives house for a few hours. The worst that could happen is that you'll be asked to return the favor.

[TheWickerFan]

How many people who have posted so far are parents? Besides myself there was AprilC and Bastet from what I could tell. Any others?

[DeadKlown]

i have a 4 yr old girl. her name is Makylie Jade. she already likes horror movies. i took her to see the nightmare on elm st remake. she mostly liked it

[ChronoGrl]

Just like every animal - they need to be carefully socialised and any behavioural issues need to be addressed and not ignored in order to correct it.

I feel the need to call this out and specifically give you a nod sir for the astute "animal" comparison.

My neighbor has a German Shepard. His name is Casper. Sometimes, when we arrive home, Casper starts barking. What happens? My neighbor says, "SHUT UP, CASPER" and Casper is silenced.

...

My point being - If you can teach a DOG to be silent on command, you should be able to teach your children.

[ferretchucker]

I feel the need to call this out and specifically give you a nod sir for the astute "animal" comparison.

My neighbor has a German Shepard. His name is Casper. Sometimes, when we arrive home, Casper starts barking. What happens? My neighbor says, "SHUT UP, CASPER" and Casper is silenced.

...

My point being - If you can teach a DOG to be silent on command, you should be able to teach your children.

But like, children are free spirits, man. And...so are dogs too! Who are we to tell them to be silent when they're expressing themselves, ya know? Like, this is their world too. Rules are just words, man. Social structure doesn't exist, it's all just a conspiracy made by the corporations to keep you conformists in check. Peace!






Is what I would say if I was a total cocknugget.

[ChronoGrl]

But like, children are free spirits, man. And...so are dogs too! Who are we to tell them to be silent when they're expressing themselves, ya know? Like, this is their world too. Rules are just words, man. Social structure doesn't exist, it's all just a conspiracy made by the corporations to keep you conformists in check. Peace!






Is what I would say if I was a total cocknugget.

bahahaha - "cocknugget'

[TheWickerFan]

I feel the need to call this out and specifically give you a nod sir for the astute "animal" comparison.

My neighbor has a German Shepard. His name is Casper. Sometimes, when we arrive home, Casper starts barking. What happens? My neighbor says, "SHUT UP, CASPER" and Casper is silenced.

...

My point being - If you can teach a DOG to be silent on command, you should be able to teach your children.

I guess I have a pretty strong will. When I was a child if I was given a command I would question it (and this was back when whuppins were administered). No matter what punishment was doled out I would be more determined than ever to rebel. I've always hated being told what to do and to conform.

[cheebacheeba]

...and had a thing for whippin' evidently ;)

[TheWickerFan]

...and had a thing for whippin' evidently ;)

Wouldn't you like to know?;)http://knotical-arts.com/cato9.jpg

[cheebacheeba]

I know, I always know.
But you need those made outta wire.

[TheWickerFan]

Better?http://www.mailleartisans.org/gallery/pics/20016mail_flail.jpg

[cheebacheeba]

Getting there, but it's not sharp enough, and not over a fire...

[TheWickerFan]

That's as far as I go.http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2603/4126511143_09b8bd853e_z.jpg

[ChronoGrl]

I guess I have a pretty strong will. When I was a child if I was given a command I would question it (and this was back when whuppins were administered). No matter what punishment was doled out I would be more determined than ever to rebel. I've always hated being told what to do and to conform.

Oh, come on - There's a difference between SHUTUPANDOBEY and asking your child to be respectful of those around them. If the command is completely unreasonable, then, by all means - rebel. But if the command is "Be quiet. We're in a restaurant and you're bothering people," then I don't think that's very unreasonable.

On THAT note, this STFU,parents! blog entry is right on topic for us:

http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/post/1143611151/retail-therapy-if-you-dont-want-my-kid-around

[TheWickerFan]

Oh, come on - There's a difference between SHUTUPANDOBEY and asking your child to be respectful of those around them. If the command is completely unreasonable, then, by all means - rebel. But if the command is "Be quiet. We're in a restaurant and you're bothering people," then I don't think that's very unreasonable.

On THAT note, this STFU,parents! blog entry is right on topic for us:

http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/post/1143611151/retail-therapy-if-you-dont-want-my-kid-around

True, you can reason with children over pre school age (before then it's significantly harder) but I believe you compared child rearing to dog training and those are two very different things. Children are not dogs. They defy, they question. And if they're grumpy enough they will make a scene. No matter how well they've been taught there are times when they will do exactly what they want to do.

[ferretchucker]

True, you can reason with children over pre school age (before then it's significantly harder) but I believe you compared child rearing to dog training and those are two very different things. Children are not dogs. They defy, they question. And if they're grumpy enough they will make a scene. No matter how well they've been taught there are times when they will do exactly what they want to do.

Which is what the car battery is for.

[TheWickerFan]

I read the article you posted and I'm not entirely sure what to think. I avoided shopping with my pre school age children as often as possible. I was fortunate, I have a husband, and a mother who lives close by so getting someone to watch the children while I ran errands wasn't normally an issue, but there are loads of people who aren't so lucky. What exactly are you supposed to do when your 2 year old starts crying on the checkout line with you madly loading a week's worth of groceries onto the conveyor belt and the cashier starts complaining about the noise? Put a gag in their mouth? Maybe the sucker the cashier suggested would have worked, but more likely the kid would have thrown it to the ground and screamed louder. I myself probably would have been so pissed I would have left all the groceries there on the conveyor belt picked up my screaming child and left.

Restaurants and movie theaters are optional activities that you do not have to go to. Errands such as grocery shopping are necessary and sometimes you have to take the rugrats with you.

[TheWickerFan]

Which is what the car battery is for.

Do something constructive young man.:p

[ferretchucker]

Do something constructive young man.:p

;) Now where would the fun be in that?

[ChronoGrl]

I read the article you posted and I'm not entirely sure what to think. I avoided shopping with my pre school age children as often as possible. I was fortunate, I have a husband, and a mother who lives close by so getting someone to watch the children while I ran errands wasn't normally an issue, but there are loads of people who aren't so lucky. What exactly are you supposed to do when your 2 year old starts crying on the checkout line with you madly loading a week's worth of groceries onto the conveyor belt and the cashier starts complaining about the noise? Put a gag in their mouth? Maybe the sucker the cashier suggested would have worked, but more likely the kid would have thrown it to the ground and screamed louder. I myself probably would have been so pissed I would have left all the groceries there on the conveyor belt picked up my screaming child and left.

Restaurants and movie theaters are optional activities that you do not have to go to. Errands such as grocery shopping are necessary and sometimes you have to take the rugrats with you.

Granted, but you don't have to be a dick when people are annoyed by your screaming brat. I would say that shame and embarrassment are appropriate emotions, but self-righteousness. Puh-lease.

The point of the blog is that these people are ridiculously self-indulgent and delusional - They can't possibly comprehend WHY anyone would say ANYthing when their little precious is just expressing themselves or that their little darling is just doin' what babies do.

I understand that not everyone can get a sitter. The point isn't so much that I can't believe that they took their kid out... For me to assume that no one should bring their child out ever is a bit fascist even beyond my own scope... No, the point is that that person was so self righteously indignant that someone was annoyed by their screaming brat that she actually posted it on Facebook.

I mean - COME ON. NOT EVERYONE LIKES THE SOUND OF YOUR CHILD'S VOICE.


Have a sense of humor, WF!

[TheWickerFan]

Granted, but you don't have to be a dick when people are annoyed by your screaming brat. I would say that shame and embarrassment are appropriate emotions, but self-righteousness. Puh-lease.

The point of the blog is that these people are ridiculously self-indulgent and delusional - They can't possibly comprehend WHY anyone would say ANYthing when their little precious is just expressing themselves or that their little darling is just doin' what babies do.

I understand that not everyone can get a sitter. The point isn't so much that I can't believe that they took their kid out... For me to assume that no one should bring their child out ever is a bit fascist even beyond my own scope... No, the point is that that person was so self righteously indignant that someone was annoyed by their screaming brat that she actually posted it on Facebook.

I mean - COME ON. NOT EVERYONE LIKES THE SOUND OF YOUR CHILD'S VOICE.


Have a sense of humor, WF!

Sense of humor? Where was the joke?:confused:

[DeadKlown]

yeah my 4 year old can sit through any movie at the cinema and maybe talk like 5 times...this just so happens to come from the parenting she has had thus far. i moved my lips and told her not to talk in the movies because your not allowed. guess what...it worked. it only takes a little effort on your part to make your child behave...otherwise maybe you should try an exorcism or early swimming lessons? lol

[ChronoGrl]

Sense of humor? Where was the joke?:confused:

You can't laugh at this person's crazy?

http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/post/1143611151/retail-therapy-if-you-dont-want-my-kid-around

[DeadKlown]

i cant because stupidity is sad not funny

[X¤MurderDoll¤X]

You can't laugh at this person's crazy?

http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/post/1143611151/retail-therapy-if-you-dont-want-my-kid-around

I thinks the only people who should be allowed to have babies are couples with super high iqs. having a baby without the required permit would land you in jail and the baby going up for adoption.

it kills two birds with one stone, over population and the kind of bull crap in that post.

[DeadKlown]

agreed but not to your standards...

[ChronoGrl]

I thinks the only people who should be allowed to have babies are couples with super high iqs. having a baby without the required permit would land you in jail and the baby going up for adoption.

it kills two birds with one stone, over population and the kind of bull crap in that post.

I have been saying that for years. You and me should team up.


My whole plan was that everyone is sterile from berth and you have to "earn" the right to procreate... At that point, the Man regains his sperm and the Woman her ovaries.

Either that or they always had their sperm/ovaries and they are simply "turned back on."

... In my utopic future.

[DeadKlown]

that would be a tad radical no?

[TheWickerFan]

I thinks the only people who should be allowed to have babies are couples with super high iqs. having a baby without the required permit would land you in jail and the baby going up for adoption.

it kills two birds with one stone, over population and the kind of bull crap in that post.

http://themoderatevoice.com/wordpress-engine/files/2007-october/darwin1_full.jpg

[X¤MurderDoll¤X]

babies are my soup base, dark boys make it spicy.
babies are my soup base, a white one will do nicely.
my secret ingredient is here to stay
so all you little babies... better crawl away!

babies are my soup base, the ribcage is my top hat.
babies are my soup base, I'd like to see you top that!
many people have asked, what's the secret to your soup base.
well young man, it's infants like you, that give it it's taste!

[ChronoGrl]

I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee or a ragout.

I do therefore humbly offer it to public consideration that of the hundred and twenty thousand children already computed, twenty thousand may be reserved for breed, whereof only one-fourth part to be males; which is more than we allow to sheep, black cattle or swine; and my reason is, that these children are seldom the fruits of marriage, a circumstance not much regarded by our savages, therefore one male will be sufficient to serve four females. That the remaining hundred thousand may, at a year old, be offered in the sale to the persons of quality and fortune through the kingdom; always advising the mother to let them suck plentifully in the last month, so as to render them plump and fat for a good table. A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends; and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter.

I have reckoned upon a medium that a child just born will weigh 12 pounds, and in a solar year, if tolerably nursed, increaseth to 28 pounds.

I grant this food will be somewhat dear, and therefore very proper for landlords, who, as they have already devoured most of the parents, seem to have the best title to the children.

Infant's flesh will be in season throughout the year, but more plentiful in March, and a little before and after; for we are told by a grave author, an eminent French physician, that fish being a prolific diet, there are more children born in Roman Catholic countries about nine months after Lent than at any other season; therefore, reckoning a year after Lent, the markets will be more glutted than usual, because the number of popish infants is at least three to one in this kingdom: and therefore it will have one other collateral advantage, by lessening the number of papists among us.

I have already computed the charge of nursing a beggar's child (in which list I reckon all cottagers, laborers, and four-fifths of the farmers) to be about two shillings per annum, rags included; and I believe no gentleman would repine to give ten shillings for the carcass of a good fat child, which, as I have said, will make four dishes of excellent nutritive meat, when he hath only some particular friend or his own family to dine with him. Thus the squire will learn to be a good landlord, and grow popular among his tenants; the mother will have eight shillings net profit, and be fit for work till she produces another child.

Those who are more thrifty (as I must confess the times require) may flay the carcass; the skin of which artificially dressed will make admirable gloves for ladies, and summer boots for fine gentlemen.