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05-20-2010, 04:56 AM
I posted this on my Facebook, and it might be a good topic to give some food for thought over here too.
(via Premiere)
Politics can teach movie studios a lot about marketing. If someone isn't buying what you're selling, simply brand 'em unpatriotic! Or socialist! Or Hitler!
That's the intolerance of intolerance, and nowhere is it more prevalent than in peoples' tastes in film. Suggest that Gandhi is too long and you're a monster. Call United 93 pandering and you hate America. With Important Movies, dissent is tantamount to treason, so you have to like them.
But it's important to separate the movie from the issue it addresses. Uwe Boll may very sincerely want to direct a film about Darfur. But it's still going to suck.
It's with this in mind that we've assembled the movies you're most obligated to like.
Ever felt bad for not liking something? Or tried to convince yourself that you like something more than you actually do? Liking something out of duty isn't the same as actually liking something, so feel free to one-star any of the following films on your Netflix account.
Just remember: When you don't like these movies, the terrorists win.
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/514C24J9A6L._SS500_.jpg
If You Don't Like It. . . You hate Jews. And probably have syphilis.
In Your Defense: Scholars, critics and other filmmakers have blasted the film for its oversimplified portrayals of Nazis and the Holocaust at large. Plus, nobody gets a hard time for hating Battlefield Earth and all of humanity get enslaved in that movie.
Same Goes For: Life is Beautiful, Defiance.
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51ZGAksnzSL._SS500_.jpg
If You Don't Like It. . . You're an imperialist lowlife who doesn't care about poor foreigners. Are you going to finish that dolphin burger?
In Your Defense: The film's very makers plucked its most beloved performers right from the merciless streets of Mumbai. . . and promptly dumped them back there after wrapping. Indians don't even like this movie. Without its closing dance sequence, it's Forrest Gupta.
Same Goes For: City of God.
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51S63V2EDNL._SS500_.jpg
If You Don't Like It. . . You're a heathen dirt worshipper who may rightly be treated as a soldier in the war on Christmas.
In Your Defense: Legendary celluloid deity thrashings aside, it's a one-note movie that suffers its own allegations of intolerance and anti-Semitism. Loving this movie doesn't make you a good Christian, nor does trashing it make you a bad one.
Same Goes For: The Ten Commandments, It's A Wonderful Life.
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51hovGWDAsL._SS500_.jpg
If You Don't Like It. . . You support genocide and cheap frippery. You might as well wear an Angolan child's severed ear for a broach, you mountebank.
In Your Defense: Replace Leo DiCaprio with Owen Wilson and this movie is Behind Enemy Mines. Sure, it brought conflict diamonds to First-World attention, but so did Kanye West, only he was less preachy and predictable about it. Just 'cause you don't like this movie doesn't mean you don't care about black people.
Same Goes For: The Killing Fields, Hotel Rwanda.
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/517Ttoaa5XL._SS500_.jpg
If You Don't Like It. . . You're a backwoods, gay-bashing homophobe. Which, if you ask any gay guy, means you're probably gay yourself.
In Your Defense: The movie's main characters might not even be gay. Jake Gyllenhaal himself approached it as the story of " straight guys who fall in love." Which really just makes it a plain, old boring love story like Shakespeare in Love, Atonement, and The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down With a Sore Bum.
Same Goes For: Milk, Boys Don't Cry, Philadelphia.
(Contd.)
(via Premiere)
Politics can teach movie studios a lot about marketing. If someone isn't buying what you're selling, simply brand 'em unpatriotic! Or socialist! Or Hitler!
That's the intolerance of intolerance, and nowhere is it more prevalent than in peoples' tastes in film. Suggest that Gandhi is too long and you're a monster. Call United 93 pandering and you hate America. With Important Movies, dissent is tantamount to treason, so you have to like them.
But it's important to separate the movie from the issue it addresses. Uwe Boll may very sincerely want to direct a film about Darfur. But it's still going to suck.
It's with this in mind that we've assembled the movies you're most obligated to like.
Ever felt bad for not liking something? Or tried to convince yourself that you like something more than you actually do? Liking something out of duty isn't the same as actually liking something, so feel free to one-star any of the following films on your Netflix account.
Just remember: When you don't like these movies, the terrorists win.
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/514C24J9A6L._SS500_.jpg
If You Don't Like It. . . You hate Jews. And probably have syphilis.
In Your Defense: Scholars, critics and other filmmakers have blasted the film for its oversimplified portrayals of Nazis and the Holocaust at large. Plus, nobody gets a hard time for hating Battlefield Earth and all of humanity get enslaved in that movie.
Same Goes For: Life is Beautiful, Defiance.
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51ZGAksnzSL._SS500_.jpg
If You Don't Like It. . . You're an imperialist lowlife who doesn't care about poor foreigners. Are you going to finish that dolphin burger?
In Your Defense: The film's very makers plucked its most beloved performers right from the merciless streets of Mumbai. . . and promptly dumped them back there after wrapping. Indians don't even like this movie. Without its closing dance sequence, it's Forrest Gupta.
Same Goes For: City of God.
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51S63V2EDNL._SS500_.jpg
If You Don't Like It. . . You're a heathen dirt worshipper who may rightly be treated as a soldier in the war on Christmas.
In Your Defense: Legendary celluloid deity thrashings aside, it's a one-note movie that suffers its own allegations of intolerance and anti-Semitism. Loving this movie doesn't make you a good Christian, nor does trashing it make you a bad one.
Same Goes For: The Ten Commandments, It's A Wonderful Life.
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51hovGWDAsL._SS500_.jpg
If You Don't Like It. . . You support genocide and cheap frippery. You might as well wear an Angolan child's severed ear for a broach, you mountebank.
In Your Defense: Replace Leo DiCaprio with Owen Wilson and this movie is Behind Enemy Mines. Sure, it brought conflict diamonds to First-World attention, but so did Kanye West, only he was less preachy and predictable about it. Just 'cause you don't like this movie doesn't mean you don't care about black people.
Same Goes For: The Killing Fields, Hotel Rwanda.
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/517Ttoaa5XL._SS500_.jpg
If You Don't Like It. . . You're a backwoods, gay-bashing homophobe. Which, if you ask any gay guy, means you're probably gay yourself.
In Your Defense: The movie's main characters might not even be gay. Jake Gyllenhaal himself approached it as the story of " straight guys who fall in love." Which really just makes it a plain, old boring love story like Shakespeare in Love, Atonement, and The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down With a Sore Bum.
Same Goes For: Milk, Boys Don't Cry, Philadelphia.
(Contd.)