View Full Version : Drunken brawl - Who would win?
_____V_____
01-16-2010, 07:19 AM
There is a topic which has been raging for years in HDC. Most of us are familiar with it.
(For those who aren't, check here - http://www.horror.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8005)
Think of this as something similar on those lines.
Who would win if we had a drunken brawl between :-
Newb + Zero on one side - A beer-guzzler who drinks a gazillion liters and doesn't pass out and is ready to take on the world (+) a redheaded monkey who thinks he owns Bruce Lee once he gets red-faced drunk (lets assume he is the angry chimp of Bwind's debate above)...
taking on...
Chuck Norris - everyone knows what happens when Chuck's legs start flying around. Be warned, he could literally kick the shit outta ya. No shit.
Bring on the punches!
OH PULEEESSE
-NEWB once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
-ZERO recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
-If you can see NEWB, he can see you. If you can't see NEWB you may be only seconds away from death.
-ZERO'S' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
-NEWB once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
-ZERO does not sleep. He waits.
-The quickest way to a man's heart is with NEWBS' fist.
-What was going through the minds of ZERO'S victims before they died? His shoe.
-The following is a short list of things NEWB cannot do: .
-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for ZERO.
-NEWB can slam revolving doors.
-The Big Bang was actually ZERO roundhouse kicking God in the face.
bwind22
01-16-2010, 08:54 AM
chuck norris for sure.
the real question should be chuck norris vs angry chimp
bloody_ribcut
01-16-2010, 09:39 AM
Norris, drunk people are easy to beat up.
ferretchucker
01-16-2010, 11:33 AM
Norris cannot fail.
Elvis_Christ
01-16-2010, 02:05 PM
How drunk is Chuck Norris?
missmacabre
01-16-2010, 02:07 PM
Hilarious anecdote time:
My Granny has always been a Chuck Norris fan. Loved him in Walker Texas Ranger and always talks about how nice he is as if she knows him personally.
So my Uncle Pete buys her a Chuck Norris calendar for christmas and she tells him how nice it is, and promises to hang it up on her wall. few days later she's over at my house for tea and tells me about her calendar, and how it has these silly sayings on it like "chuck Norris invented rainbows". She just didn't get it and I was laughing my head off. So goes on to tell me that she found an old calendar with some teddy bears on it that was the same size, so she taped the teddy bears over the chuck norris jokes so that she wouldn't have to break her promise of hanging it up. It's the most hilarious thing I have ever seen and I love my Granny XD
Elvis_Christ
01-16-2010, 02:17 PM
:D haha your Granny sounds cool?
Another question: Is newb allowed to bring his motorcycle gang?
novakru
01-16-2010, 02:33 PM
Chuck Norris' hair could kick both their asses
_____V_____
01-16-2010, 06:00 PM
How drunk is Chuck Norris?
Pretty much up there with Newb.
It's a drunken brawl people - Norris could take em easily when he's sober, but would he be as effective when he's drunk as fuck? That's the question.
Imagine a totally swaying droopy-eyed Chuck on one side, and the beer-guzzler + the redhead monkey on the other. All 3 almost senselessly (and hopelessly) drunk.
Elvis_Christ
01-16-2010, 06:18 PM
Pretty much up there with Newb.
Well I'll vote for Newb then. Chuckie would die of liver failure before the fight even broke out :)
bwind22
01-16-2010, 07:45 PM
chuck norris would destroy them.
how 'bout Newb & Zero vs Bruce Lee & Angry Chimp in a steel cage tag team match
Elvis_Christ
01-16-2010, 08:12 PM
^^ Nah....
roshiq
01-17-2010, 06:12 AM
Definitely HDC's Drunken duo. :)
yeah - what he said
OH PULEEESSE
-NEWB once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
-ZERO recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
-If you can see NEWB, he can see you. If you can't see NEWB you may be only seconds away from death.
-ZERO'S' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
-NEWB once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
-ZERO does not sleep. He waits.
-The quickest way to a man's heart is with NEWBS' fist.
-What was going through the minds of ZERO'S victims before they died? His shoe.
-The following is a short list of things NEWB cannot do: .
-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for ZERO.
-NEWB can slam revolving doors.
-The Big Bang was actually ZERO roundhouse kicking God in the face.
Norris, drunk people are easy to beat up.
but not drunken monkeys!!
Doc Faustus
01-17-2010, 05:05 PM
If Norris drank as much as Newb could, he would die, making Newb and Zero winners. Also, Zero's monkey antics would offend Chuck's conservative sensibilities, leaving him psychologically unbalanced. No amount of Bowflexing can compensate for these advantages. Also, let us assume that Newb, like Batman can defeat anyone given proper preparation time. Why? He's HDC president. And Chuck wouldn't think to bring a gun.
Ferox13
01-18-2010, 07:13 AM
Does Chcuk get to wear these:
http://finickypenguin.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/chuck-norris-action-jeans.jpg
hey no fair -no one said we could have special clothing
Does Chcuk get to wear these:
http://finickypenguin.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/chuck-norris-action-jeans.jpg
kinda looks like me last Sunday....only it was both legs up in the air...just before I fell on my back on the icy stairs.....knocked the wind right out of me.
and I almost spilled my beer :eek:
and I almost spilled my beer :eek:
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