HDC The Movie I, II, IV, V & VI - by Massacre Man

[massacre man]

HDC - The Movie


*Massacre Man and Roderick Usher are in a van traveling to the abandoned campsite to pick Illdojo and his new girlfriend, a creepy girl who is a counselor at a camp that has been abandoned for 38 years now*

Roderick: If this were a horror movie we'd break down right now.

*The van immediately stops*

Massacre Man: You had to say that shit in the middle of the fucking woods!

Roderick: Well, it's true that this is a stereotype horror scene, it's in like every movie ever.

Massacre Man: Well, fuck Dojo, I'm not walking to the fucking camp.

Roderick: About now we'd happen upon a creepy morgue.

*Massacre Man turns around and begins talking while still walking backward*

Massacre Man: Stop talking! Every time you bring up a fucking horror cliche' it happens, now there's gong to be a marathon of "Tales From The Crypt" on tomorrow, I don't want to get torn in half from my asshole up before I get to watch it, so shut the fuck up before...

*Massacre Man bumps into the creepy morgue*

Massacre Man: Rod, you don't know how much I fucking hate you right now.

Roderick: Now, we go inside to use the phone

Massacre Man: Whatever, but if you say another word I swear to God you will have suck dick through a straw.

*Massacre Man and Rod step inside a dim-lit room, with a body lying on a table, Newb standing over-top of the body, with a power-drill in one hand and a chicken salad sandwich in the other, Rod whispers*

Rod: Now he kills one of us and saves the other one to torture and perform creepy experiments on!

*Massacre Man pushes Rod and he bumps into Newb, who quickly turns jamming the drill into Rod's eyes, he falls to the ground dying, he then approaches Massacre Man, with Rod's last breath he speaks*

Rod: Now the door is stuck!

*Rod's head hits the floor, Massacre Man tries to run, but the doors are jammed, he turns and stares at Newb*

Massacre Man: God damn it, chain me up.

*Newb nails Massacre Man's elbows and knees to the wall and pulls out a series of odd tools, the camera cuts away to Kemal standing in the corner watching the torture*

Kemal: DAMN! That shit's whack!

[massacre man]

*Illdojo and the creepy camp counselor, Kasey sit inside of the freshly blood-soaked cafeteria that was the scene of a grizzly murder/rape/suicide/carnival 100 years a go tonight*

Dojo: Listen babe, if we're gonna do anything, you think maybe we should toke up first, to give this a little, ya know, enhancement?

Kasey: Sure, do whatever makes you comfortable, I'm gonna go use the bathroom.

*Kasey gets up and walks out, Dojo pulls out a bong and inhales, he sits anxiously awaiting the lady he would soon be inside*

Dojo: Come on, it's not gonna suck itself.

Kasey: Just a minute!

*Kasey returns, with no pants, urine still dripping*

Kasey: You ready?

Dojo: Fuck yeah.

*Dojo lays back, Kasey walks over and slips his pants off, Dojo stares at the ceiling in anticipation*

Dojo: You know, this is my first time.

Kasey: Really? I don't believe that for a second

Dojo: Well it's true, whenever I would try the girls would call me weird and they all told me I smelled like weed and strawberries.

Kasey: I like strawberries.

Dojo: Well, thank God I found you.

*Zoom-in on Dojo's face*

Dojo: Finally, so this is what it's like to have sex, are you supposed to feel this dry down there?

*Dojo looks up, Kasey's skin is gone and she is just a skeleton, the haunting voices of several children is heard throughout the building, foldable chairs and tables start to close by themselves.*

Dojo: What the fuck? I'm not leaving here a virgin.

*Dojo wraps his arms around Kasey's skeleton, he rolls over on top of her, he kisses the skeleton on the lips and starts to make love to the corpse as the camera zooms out of the cafeteria, the last thing seen is the cafeteria doors slamming shut on their own*

[massacre man]

*The room is entirely dark, the dim light turns on as Newb enters the room holding a blender, Massacre Man's left eye is missing and he has a pair of scissors stuck to a piece of skin dangling from his head, he is barely conscious, Newb kneels down and plugs in the blender, holds his chicken salad sandwich in his mouth and pushes all of the buttons to be sure the blended is working right, Massacre Man watches as Newb then approaches him with the blender and shoves his foot in it*

Massacre Man: No, wait, come on, how the fuck is that an experiment?

*Newb gives Massacre Man a grin and turns the blender on low, every few seconds turning the setting up*

Massacre Man: Fuck! Stop it!

*After Massacre Man's right foot is taken off, Newb switches to his left*

Massacre Man: I would kick your ass if I had feet...

*Newb turns the blender on, after he's finished, Newb stands and pours the ground up feet into a cup and uses it to wash down his sandwich*

Massacre Man: I hope I have AIDS and you just got that shit too you fucking asshole.

*Newb turns and leaves the room without having said a word, Massacre Man looks at Kemal*

Massacre Man: Why are you just standing there! He cut my feet off and you just watched!

Kemal: ...

Massacre Man: Why aren't you talking?!

Kemal: ...

*Massacre Man stops and listens, he clearly hears the Tales From The Crypt theme in the next room over*

Massacre Man: Can you pull me off of here so I can watch the TV?

Kemal: ...

Massacre Man: Fuck you too, asshole.

*Massacre Man starts to pull his arms forward to slip off of the nails, he yells in pain*

Kemal: SHIT!

Massacre Man: That's fucking great! Now you say something!

*Massacre Man slips his legs off of the nails and lands on the nubs where his feet once were, he again yells in pain*

Kemal: DAMN!

Massacre Man: Why didn't you help me?

Kemal: ...

*Massacre Man crawls to Kemal and pulls the scissors from his head, he jams them into Kemal's foot*

Kemal: THAT'S WHACK!

Massacre Man: I'll show you whack.

*Massacre Man reaches back and grabs the cord of the blender, he swings it around and slaps Kemal across the face with it, he hits the ground and Massacre Man swings the blender at him repeatedly, smashing his brains in*

Massacre Man: Now, the Crypt Keeper.

*Massacre Man crawls to the TV room in time to catch the middle of the Crypt Keeper's introduction, he smiles*

Massacre Man: I didn't miss it.

*Just then Newb grabs Massacre Man by the legs and drags him out of the room*

Massacre Man: At least wait for the Crypt Keeper's part to finish!

*Just as Massacre Man and Newb are out of view The Crypt Keeper's laugh is heard, Newb takes Massacre Man to a door that he kicks open leading to a dark basement, he tosses Massacre Man down the stairs and closes the door*

Massacre Man: I think my arm's broken.

*A vicious growl is heard from the other side of the basement*

Massacre Man: Fuck...

[massacre man]

*Back at the camp, Neverending is standing at the camp, it appears to be before Dojo and Kasey enter the cafeteria as they are walking out of a trail leading from the woods*

Neverending: Stay away from her young man, she's not one of you!

Dojo: What?

Neverending: She's one of... THE OTHERS!

Dojo: Like that Nicole Kidman movie?

Neverending: No you fucking idiot! She's dead! She's going back to her world! And she's taking you with her!

Dojo: I don't care, dude. *he whispers to Neverending* This is my chance to get laid.

*Dojo and Kasey walk to the cafeteria*

Neverending: You'll be sorry! Don't come cryin' to me when you're dead!

*Neverending approaches the window and looks inside, after a few seconds Kasey walks out and he quickly ducks behind the bushes as Kasey starts to use the bush as a toilet, Neverending intentionally opens his mouth underneath the bush catching what he can, after Kasey goes back inside he looks in the window again*

Neverending: That's it... yes...

*Faustus runs to Neverending, gun in hand*

Faustus: You have to get out of here! There's an escape maniac in these woods!

Neverending: No, there's ghosts in these here cabins!

Faustus: My patient, Dante, he escaped, he was imprisoned for 20 years!

Neverending: There's a murderer in these here woods?

Faustus: He never killed anyone, but he's made threats.

Neverending: But this kid is in trouble, he's having sex with a ghost woman!

*They hear the sound of the cafeteria doors slamming shut*

Neverending: Nevermind...

Faustus: You have to help me find him!

Neverending: I'll stay behind and warn the others, you go find him!

Faustus: Thank you, I'll return as soon as he's gone, if I don't come back, tell my wife I love her.

*Faustus runs off into the woods*

Neverending: I don't know his wife...

*A man in a robe approaches Neverending holding a baseball bat, obviously Dante*

Neverending: DANGER! There's EVIL! in these here hills.

*Dante swings the bat and hits Neverending in the head*

Neverending: What the hell'd ya do that for?

*Dante does it again*

Neverending: Listen you asshole! I'm trying to warn you of the...

*Neverending clenches his chest and falls over, dying of a heart attack, Dante looks down and gets a disappointed expression, he continues to the woods*

Faustus: DANTE! WHERE ARE YOU!?

*Faustus is running through the woods searching for Dante who suddenly appears several feet behind Faustus, Dante giggles, Faustus turns around and pulls the trigger, hitting Dante in the stomach, Dante shreaks and falls over*

Dante: Oh my God! It hurts so bad! Why would you do that?

Faustus: I must stop you.

*Faustus approaches Dante and holds the gun to his face, he pulls the trigger and the gun clicks*

Faustus: I knew I shouldn't have shot at all those squirrels!

*Faustus kicks Dante in the face and picks him up, he spits out a few teeth and coughs up blood, he starts to make a gargling sound that sounds similar to a growl, Faustus happens upon the creepy morgue, he stands behind a tree while Newb is throwing away the blended Massacre Man broke, after Newb returns inside Faustus opens the small door on the side of the house that leads to the basement, he tosses Dante into the darkness where Dante's growl-like moans are echoed*

[massacre man]

HDC: The Movie 0 or: An attempt to tie all of the stories together

*We return to earlier in the day, Massacre Man, Roderick Usher, and Illdojo are in their van traveling down the road*

Massacre Man: Alright, now will you tell me where the fuck we're going and why the fuck I'm driving there.

Roderick: Because, it's an abandoned campsite, that's basically a horror cliche' breeding-ground!

Massacre Man: Once again, why the fuck am I driving there?

Roderick: Don't you wanna see what kind of crazy things happen?

Massacre Man: No, I'd rather wake up tomorrow with my dick intact, I have something important I have to do tomorrow.

Roderick: What's that?

Massacre Man: Don't worry about it, just know the shit's important.

Roderick: Ok, but this is important to me... turn left.

*The van pulls up to the abandoned campsite*

Roderick: What do you wanna look at first? The lake, the woods, the bathrooms?

Dojo: Why the bathrooms?

Roderick: Well, in "Sleepaway Camp"...

Dojo: I know you're gonna drag this out, so nevermind.

Massacre Man: You know what we should check out?

Roderick: What?

Massacre Man: The fuckin'... road home.

Roderick: Hold on.

*Roderick runs to the lake*

Roderick: Just what do you think will be in here? Jason? The Blob from "Creepshow 2?"

Massacre Man: Probably fish and seaweed.

Roderick: Have an imagination, let's check the woods, maybe there will be a killer in there!

Massacre Man: Why would you wanna see a killer?

*Roderick runs off into the woods, Massacre Man follows, Dojo opens the back door of the van and sits with his bong and lights up, Kasey approaches him*

Kasey: Mind if I hit that?

*Dojo looks up, his eyes widen, he exhales the smoke and smiles*

Dojo: Sure.

Kasey: Thanks

*Kasey sits next to Dojo and grabs the bong from him*

Dojo: So, what's your name?

Kasey: It's Kasey, and why are you here?

Dojo: Something about my friend and the bathrooms here, I wasn't listening. But um... why are you here?

Kasey: I'm a counselor here, I have been for a while.

*Dojo leans forward and looks at all of the demolished and obviously abandoned buildings, he sits and looks at Kasey*

Dojo: Cool.

*Cut to Massacre Man walking through the woods alone*

Massacre Man: Rod, where are you?

*Roderick comes running over*

Roderick: Right here.

*Roderick walks over to Massacre Man*

Roderick: Find anything?

Massacre Man: No.

*A monkey, Zero. Let's out a scream and leaps from the tree directly behind Massacre Man, Zero lands oh his arm, he then swings the monkey over into Roderick's hands*

Massacre Man: What the fuck is a monkey doing in the woods?

Roderick: What should we do with it?

Massacre Man: Shouldn't we take it Animal Control or something?

Roderick: I don't know.

Massacre Man: I'll get the legs, you get the arms.

Roderick: Alright.

*Massacre Man and Roderick run out of the woods holding Zero, Dojo and Kasey stand up and watch the two searching for a place to put Zero*

Massacre Man: In your movie trunk!

Roderick: Then where will my movies go?

Massacre Man: On the floor for 20 fucking minutes.

*Massacre Man let's go of Zero and opens a box that says "Rod's Treasures" and turns it over, tons of classic horror DVDs and tapes fall out, they shove Zero inside and lock it, Massacre Man reaches into his pocket and grabs his pocket knife, he pokes a hole in the box*

Roderick: NO!

Massacre Man: What?

Roderick: Now it's not water-proof!

Dojo: I seriously doubt your movies would ever be under water.

Massacre Man: Come on, let's go get rid of this little asshole.

Dojo: Alright.

*Kasey wraps her arms around Dojo*

Kasey: Please don't go.

Dojo: Will you guys come back and get me after you're done.

Massacre Man: No.

Dojo:... Oh well.

*Dojo walks off with his bong in one hand and Kasey in the other, Massacre Man and Rod get in the van and start to drive off*

Rod: It's going crazy in there.

Massacre Man: It's locked in a fucking box, I would be going crazy too.

Rod: But still, it's tearing a hole in the chest.

Massacre Man: I put the hole there.

Rod: He's making it bigger...

Massacre Man: Put something heavy on top of it.

*Rod looks around and finds nothing, he sits on the box, a few seconds later he stands up quickly*

Roderick: It bit me!

Massacre Man: Don't put your ass in it's face.

*Zero makes the hole big enough to climb out and bite Rod's arm*

Roderick: What do I do?

Massacre Man: You're the movie expert! Throw it out the fucking window!

*Rod opens the back door of the moving van and throws Zero out, he lands in the grass outside of the mental institution*

Rod: It's gone...

*Rod walks to the front of the van and sits in the passenger seat*

Roderick: I think this would be the part in a horror movie where I first get the infection before I start eating people a few hours later.

Massacre Man: You think we should go back to get Dojo?

Roderick: Yeah, I hope that wasn't the last time we got to see him.

*The van turns around and they start traveling back to the campsite*

Roderick: I know a shortcut through the woods...

[massacre man]

*Back the mental asylum which Zero landed in front of, Zero makes his way over to the building, slipping into an open window of the lobby, cut to a guard opening a cell door and setting a tray of food on the ground, Dante is revealed to be the one in the cell*

Dante: Do you have a vegetarian alternative?

Guard: It's bread and water...

Dante: I see...

*The guard is about to close the door, but Faustus runs over and prevents him from doing so*

Faustus: Wait, it's important, I must speak with him.

Guard: Alright, but you go in there and I'll close the door.

Faustus: Very well.

*Faustus enters, Dante immediately sits stiff and stops showing emotion, the door is closed and locked behind him*

Faustus: Why do you feel shouldn't ever speak?

Dante: ...

Faustus: Is it because you're afraid of what people might think of you?

Dante: ...

Faustus: Do you have a girlish voice?

Dante: ...

Faustus: Please, tell me why you sent those threatening letters to those people.

*The guard yells from the other side of the door*

Guard: Hurry up, I'm trying to get home.

Faustus: Yes, I suppose I could return tomorrow. Goodbye Dante, I'll return to speak to you tomorrow.

*The guard puts the key into the hole, before he can turn it he is attacked by Zero who continues to bite at him and scratch him*

Faustus: TURN THE KEY! LET ME OUT! I CAN HELP YOU!

*The guard makes attempts to turn the key but fails until he finally pushes Zero off long enough to turn the key, Faustus leaps out with gun in hand, he aims at Zero then notices Dante running out of the door, he follows leaving the guard for dead*

Guard: Where are you going? HELP!

*Zero tears off the guard's ear, the guard then proceeds to throw Zero into the cell and kick the door closed, he leans against the wall, worn out*

*Cut to Dante jumping onto and holding onto the back of Massacre Man's van*

Faustus: You nearly-murderous bastard!

*Faustus hops into his pink Cadillac and follows from a distance but misses the shortcut and drives to the normal camp entrance instead, he pulls to the side and stops, he begins to search through the woods for a small while until he notices a group of squirrels which he chases off using 5 of the 6 bullets in his revolver, Faustus then proceeds to further his searches until searching the actual campsite and running into Neverending*

[massacre man]

*Returning to Massacre Man at the bottom of the dark basement with only the sound of Dante's growl-like moans*

Massacre Man: What the fuck are you!?

*Massacre Man feels around the ground, he finds a small hatchet on top of the workbench next to him, he uses his somewhat-good arm to throw the hatchet at Dante, the only sound is the hatchet entering Dante's back*

Dante: What was that!?

Massacre Man: You're a person?

Dante: What was that!?

Massacre Man: I don't know I think I hear bats, you must have been bitten.

Dante: I can't feel anything!

Massacre Man; Maybe it was a big fuckin' bat.

Dante: You threw something at me!

Massacre Man: No, I didn't.

Dante: Yes you did!

Massacre Man: Well I'm sorry, I'm sorry that you're in a basement growling. After I had my fucking feet cut off and my fucking arm broken. I must have been fucking stoned, I mean who in their right mind would be scared of GROWLING IN A DARK FUCKING BASEMENT!

Dante: Why is everybody messing with me today?

Massacre Man: Did you just fucking listen? I was nailed to a wall by my fucking knees and elbows and I watched one of my friend's die and the other one's out fucking by far the hottest chick I've seen, ever! Oh yeah, on top of that I'm missing Tales From The Fucking Crypt right now.

Dante: I can't feel anything!

Massacre Man: Well I can! And it's the worst fucking pain ever. It's like having a baby being delivered through a fucking papercut.

Dante: Seriously! I can't feel anything. I think I'm paralyzed!

Massacre Man: Good, I'm gonna use you as my human shield, because you're an asshole.

*The door opens and light shines in, Massacre Man puts his hand over top of his eyes while his they adjust to the sudden light, Newb stares down at him, then at Dante holding his sandwich*

Massacre Man: I hope you get bird flu on top of the AIDS I hope was in my blood.

*Massacre Man moves his hand from his eyes to see a shadow approaching Newb, he moves as quickly as possible and slips underneath the workbench, the shadow behind Newb is revealed to be a zombified version of Roderick soon to bite into Newb's shoulder, but he notices in enough time to push Rod down the stairs, Rod stands up and approaches Dante, biting his ear off, Dante screams as Rod takes more and more bites out of him Dante changes quicker, after his transformation Rod loses interest in eating him, instead he uses the hatchet like a handle and carries the zombie of Dante back up the stairs toward Newb, Newb then backs up and runs to the morgue's freezer and uses the shelves like ladders and climbs to the top, Rod stands at the bottom smashing Dante's head into the cabinet, Newb drops his sandwich onto the ground, his eyes widen, he reaches for it but can't get a hold of it, he hops to the ground to get the sandwich, he is then taken down and bitten until transforming, he stands again, the 3 zombies stand and start to make their way back to the basement, cut back to Massacre Man searching through the basement with the light provided by the open door, he is checking the possible weapons to use*

Massacre Man: Chainsaw... it's been done. Lawnmower... it's been done. Helicopter... it's been done.

*Massacre Man looks down at something off-screen*

Massacre Man: Perfect.

*The zombies enter the door and come to the spot under the table where Massacre Man was hiding*

Massacre Man: Hey, assholes.

*Massacre Man is sitting in a custom-made Wheelchair, consisting of two bike-wheels and a folding chair*

Massacre Man: Take this.

*Massacre Man rolls straight at the zombies and flips after lightly bumping into them*

Massacre Man: God damn it!

*Massacre Man rolls back underneath the table before the zombies stand up, they can't find him afterward other than Dante, who is staring right into his face but can't reach out any further to bite him*

[massacre man]

*Cut to Faustus returning to his car after dropping Dante into Newb's morgue speaking to himself*

Faustus: They'll expect to get Dante back alive, what am I supposed to do?

*He hears some thuds and bumps coming from the cabin Dojo went into with Kasey, he walks over to the window and peeks in, Dojo is huddled on the floor, pantless shaking uncontrollably, Faustus runs to the door and opens it, he kneels next to Dojo*

Faustus: Young man, are you alright?

*Dojo remains huddled and doesn't reply, Faustus looks over at the corpse that Kasey turned out to be, Faustus gets a slight grin like he's had an idea*

Faustus: A murderous psychopath who won't speak...

*Faustus runs to his car and opens the glovebox, he pulls out a handful of bullets, he runs back to Dojo and cuffs his right hand to his left foot*

Faustus: I'll be right back.

*Faustus runs back to Newb's morgue, reaches into the trash and pulls out the broken blender and tears the blades out, he then opens the basement door and hops in just as the zombie of Dante is staring Massacre Man in the face, Faustus shoots Newb and Roderick in the head, he picks up Dante by the hatchet and blows his brains out through the bottom of his jaw, he uses the blender blade to slice off Dante's face, after he gets Dante's face he leaves, Massacre Man is still under the table, seeing everything that had just happened*

Massacre Man: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?

*Faustus runs back to the cafeteria and kneels next to the paralyzed-by-fear Dojo, he slips Dante's face over his*

Faustus: Perfect.

*Faustus picks Dojo up and tosses him into the back of his car and heads back for the mental asylum*

Faustus: You know young man, you're saving my ass here, I should be so lucky that they don't pay attention to the inmates at all. I'll visit you to give you therapy whenever possible but you should know, I'll probably get a reward for bringing back an escaped mental patient, I'll be out making new friends and living out what dreams a 67-year-old therapist can in the Bahamas. But I'm sure you'll be fine, doesn't look like you'll need me much, really you just get 3 square meals, a comfortable room and you don't even have to work a minute. You're going to love it at the mental institution.

*Faustus arrives at the mental institution, cut to inside, the guard is missing, the break room is shown, two of the guards, Despare and Murderdoll are the only ones in the room, sitting at tables on opposite ends of the room, Murderdoll has her head down sleeping, Despare looks nervous watching her, he walks over to her and sits down*

Despare: Hey uh...

*She doesn't respond*

Despare: Um...

*Despare knocks on the table lightly, Murderdoll raises her head*

Murderdoll: What the fuck do you want?

Despare: Can I tell you something important?

Murderdoll: Whatever it is, I honestly, truly don't care.

Despare: No, please, um... just hear me out.

Murderdoll: Will you leave me alone after?

Despare: Sure.

Murderdoll: Go ahead.

Despare: Well, we've known eachother since middle school, right?

Murderdoll: Are you coming out of the closet?

Despare: No, please, just listen, this is hard enough without you making fun of me.

Murderdoll: Faggot...

Despare: Ok... well, we've known eachother so long, I wanted to um... tell you how I felt.

Murderdoll: Oh shit...

Despare: Ever since I've met you I've been in love with you, since I first saw you I thought you were perfect, I haven't been able to tell you, I've been preparing all day, I mean... I woke up, I practiced in the mirror and everything. So is there any part of you that feels anything for me?

Murderdoll: You're fucking stupid.

Despare: Wh... What?

Murderdoll: We've known eachother since middle school and I've AVOIDED you since middle school.

Despare: Why?

Murderdoll: Because you're a fucking idiot. What you just said proves it.

Despare: You mean, you don't feel anything at all after all I've been there for you?

Murderdoll: If you call coming to my house and crying when my dog hit by the car, you didn't do anything, I put the cat in front of the damn car.

Despare: Oh...

Murderdoll: Now get the fuck out of here.

*Despare stands up and walks to the next room, he turns around and comes back*

Despare: You know what.

Murderdoll: I don't care what you have to say.

Despare: Alright, listen up. I was probably the only chance you had at any form of happiness. You just ruined your entire future, you know that? Shooting me down ensured that you've lived for absolutely nothing and when you're on your deathbed you'll just think "Why didn't I give him a chance! Oh why! He could have given me everything but I'm too much of a heartless bitch to give a nice guy a chance!" FUCK YOU!

*Despare walks into the hallway, puts his gun to his head and pulls the trigger, Murderdoll's eyes widen and she runs out*

Murderdoll: Oh my God I...

*Her worries vanish when she sees he missed his brain and is still breathing*

Murderdoll: Fucking retard, you can't even kill yourself right.

*She pulls the gun out of his hand and blows his brains out with it as Faustus enters with Dojo, his hands cuffed together, he seems somewhat responsive now, they both stare down at Despare's body wide-eyed*

Faustus: What happened here?

*Murderdoll tries thinking of a response when the zombified guard approaches behind Faustus*

Murderdoll: He was a zombie!

*The zombie grabs Faustus by the arm, Dojo leaps away and grabs the keys from Faustus, he runs out of the institution and jumps into the car, he uses the keys undo his cuffs and he backs out to head back toward the campsite*

[massacre man]

*Back at the morgue, Massacre Man has his hands over his head just as Faustus leaves, he pulls himself out from under the table and eases himself up the stairs, as he's at the door Roderick and Newb stand up*

Massacre Man: Why the fuck couldn't you be Romero zombies?

*Massacre Man closes the door and crawls to the room he was originally captured in, sees the door to the exit, but then looks over into the TV room*

Massacre Man: God damn it.

*He pulls himself to the TV room and onto the couch*

Massacre Man: Still didn't miss the Crypt Keeper.

*He looks over and sees a blood-stained fireplace poker sitting on the floor next to yet another victim of old chicken salad sandwich eating fucker, and holds it for a few moments, concentrating on the TV, as soon as the zombies enter the room he pierces both of their stomachs and pins them to the wall as he waits for the commercials to end, the zombies moan at him*

Massacre Man: Shut the fuck up.

*The zombies slowly ease off of the poker, the commercials finally end as a new episode begins, midway through the intro an emergency news bulletin appears*

News Announcer: This is an HDC-station special report, we go onto the scene with our Info-Man, _V_

Massacre Man: WHAT THE FUCK!?

_V_: Thanks, Gus. Here I am at the ShankS Memorial Mental Institution where an outbreak of zombism has taken over the building, though the outbreak hasn't started yet, I am, as always giving you the news before any of the competitors. You will hear the first gunshot in... 3... 2... 1

*Sound of gunshot inside of the building, Faustus and Dojo are seen entering the asylum, Massacre Man looks at Dojo wide-eyed*

Massacre Man: That's... The fucker I was in the basement with! How the fuck did he get out?

_V_: But I can tell you now that the only survivor will be Doc Faustus who managed to use all of the others inside as bait for the zombies to lure them into traps, though we are still in danger as the monkey who caused the outbreak *picture of Zero is shown* has escaped and makes the likeliness of another outbreak very high.

*Massacre Man sees Dojo run out of the asylum and take off the mask*

Massacre Man: Oh... If I can't watch Tales From The Crypt...

*Massacre Man slips off of the chair and crawls to the door, he can't reach the knob*

Massacre Man: A little closer... come on... you asshole...

*He gets ahold of the door knob but slips off, after his second attempt he manages to pull the door open, he eases his way back to the campsite, he sees the car that Faustus drove smash into the cafeteria, Dojo leaps out of the car*

Dojo: TAKE THAT YOU DEAD BITCH!

*Massacre Man is relieved to see his friend, he has a smile on his face as he pulls himself forward*

Massacre Man: DOJO!

*Dojo looks over, his eyes widen, smoke slowly starts to come out of the car*

Dojo: What the fuck happened to you?

Massacre Man: *laughing* It's a long fuckin' story, think you got time?

Dojo: Sure man.

*The car catches fire and it begins to spread*

Dojo: Hold on.

*Dojo runs into the cafeteria and reemerges a few moments later holding his bong, escaping just before the cafeteria collapses*

Dojo: Alright, go on. Should I call an ambulance or something?

Massacre Man: No dude, I'm fine.

Dojo: Ok...

Massacre Man: Are you fucking retarded? Of course I want a fucking ambulance.

Dojo: Alright.

*Dojo pulls his cellphone out of his pocket and dials "911"*

Dojo: *Sarcastically and calm, imitating Massacre Man* Yes, I need a fucking ambulance for my fucking friend because he's in a fucking bad shape.

Massacre Man: Fuck you!

Dojo: Yeah, we're at Camp Chopuhpaula-View, his feet are gone and... he doesn't have feet. Oh yeah, he has holes in elbows and knees. Thanks, bye.

*Dojo hangs up and sits next to Massacre Man*

Dojo: They're coming.

Massacre Man: Fuckin' A.

Dojo: So what's the story.

Massacre Man: We were coming back to get you, we walked into a house, some asshole killed Rod and...

Dojo: Wait, Rod's dead?

Massacre Man: No, he's undead now.

Dojo: So... he's alive?

Massacre Man: No, he's a zombie.

Dojo: What?

Massacre Man: Just... don't fuckin' worry about it, we're not hanging out with him anymore.

Dojo: Should we tell his mom?

Massacre Man: I'm not... she got pissed off when I kicked a hole in her TV, imagine the shit she'll say when I tell her I got her fuckin' son killed.

Dojo: I'm not gonna tell her, I don't wanna see her cry.

Massacre Man: Pussy...

*The ambulance arrives, they put Massacre Man in the back and leave Dojo at the camp, he watches the ambulance drive off as the zombies of Rod and Newb stumble through the woods in the distance behind Dojo*


THE END?


NO, NOT YET.

*Massacre Man is in the back of the ambulance, he looks at the back window and sees Zero looking at him through it*

*Screen goes black, the only sound is Massacre Man's voice*

Massacre Man: FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!


NOW IT'S THE END

[massacre man]

For the hell of it, Body Count (I believe I'm not forgetting)

Roderick Usher-Eye drilled out by Newb
Kemal-Head smashed in by Massacre Man
Neverending-Heart Attack
Guard-Zombied by Zero
Dante-Zombied
Newb-Zombied
Despare-Suicided/Shooted
Murderdoll-Used as bait by Faustus
Every member that wasn't included-Used as bait by Faustus

Survivors
Illdojo (?)
Massacre Man (?)
Doc Faustus
__V__

[massacre man]

*A full moon is shown over a heavily-wooded area, as the camera zooms down an ambulance is shown crashed into a tree, the back doors hanging open, the camera enters the back of the ambulance and moves to the front seat, revealing Zero standing on the shoulders of a dead paramedic chewing on the head of the other paramedic, Zero leers into the camera, the title appears*

"HDC The Movie 2: Zero Takes Manhattan (Desert Bar & Tavern)"

*A news program is being shown, __V__ is interviewing Doc Faustus about his triumph over the zombies*

__V__: So, tell us about how you destroyed these vile creatures.

Faustus: They were psychopaths... and they... wouldn't talk... I had to stop them.

__V__: Well you must feel a sense of accomplishment for what you've done.

Faustus: Yes, I've stopped pure evil from destroying you all.

__V__: Well, there you have it, the boring Doctor Faustus feels good about killing numerous others to save himself. Thank you for joining us, we will return tomorrow with a follow-up on this story, good night.

*The news camera turns off, Doc Faustus stands and starts to walk off, __V__ stops him*

__V__: Wait...

Faustus: Yes?

__V__: You know, you could give a better interview.

Faustus: I supposed I could.

__V__: Well, I am trying to get ratings.

Faustus: And I'm trying to stop psychopathic madmen who won't speak from killing innocent people.

__V__: You've killed numerous innocent people trying to stop them.

Faustus: But at least the psychopaths weren't the ones who killed them.

*Faustus then walks off and gets into a car that's not his own, he hotwires the car and drives off*

__V__: Why did he take my car?

*Faustus stops in front of a small bar that's in the middle of the desert, Faustus gets out and walks inside, somebody walks next to the car, Murderdoll is revealed to be standing with a furious expression and her arms crossed*

*Cut to Illdojo being approached by the zombies, he turns just in time to notice and run off, he makes it onto the road and stands in front of a news van speeding down the road, it stops*

Illdojo: You've gotta help me!

*__V__ opens the door*

__V__: Fine, get in, hurry.

*Illdojo gets in and they follow the path of Faustus to find the car, they stop at the bar as well, Illdojo gets out and runs inside*

*Cut to Zwoti with a young Novarku sitting in a home-library, they are reading from a book*

Novarku: I just don't get it.

Zwoti: Don't worry, we'll figure it out.

Novarku: Thanks for tutoring me and putting up with me for free.

Zwoti: I never said this was free.

Novarku: What?

Zwoti: There's a small price you have to pay.

*Zwoti puts his hand on Novarku's leg, she stares, speechless*

Zwoti: What's the matter.

Novarku: Um...

Zwoti: Oh don't worry, I don't bite, unless you want me too.

*Novarku gets up to run, Zwoti grabs her arm and pulls her back, he sits her down, and gets on his knees*

Zwoti: Did I mention I was a liar?

Novarku: Wh... Wh... What?

*Zwoti puts his head beneath Novarku's skirt, a loud tearing sound is heard, he pulls his head back and spits out a large chunk of skin, Novarku passes out at the site of her blood, Zwoti ties her up and puts her in the trunk of his car, then drives to the bar*

*Cut to Dudeman waking up on a couch in the morning*

Dudeman: Shit... I need a drink.

*Dudeman walks down the stairs of his home, when he reaches the bottom of the stairs it is revealed that he lives at the bar*

[massacre man]

*Cut to Massacre Man laying face-down several feet from the crashed ambulance, he's unconscious, after a few seconds he lifts his head and rolls over, it seems the paramedics got some work down, his legs are bandaged, his broken arm in a sling, and an eyepatch*

Massacre Man: I'M FUCKING ALIVE!

*As soon as he finishes the sentence Zero leaps onto Massacre Man's chest and shrieks at him, Massacre Man uses his good arm to punch Zero off of him, he runs off leaving Massacre Man alone in the dark, Zero taunts him by running all over the woods, his shrieks echoing*

Massacre Man: Please! Fuck off!

*Zero slowly sneaks up behind Massacre Man, then pulls his sling off and starts pulling on his broken arm*

Massacre Man: Fuck! Quit it!

*Massacre Man leans backward and grabs Zero by the head and throws him at a tree, a branch falls off and hits Massacre Man in the head, Zero picks it up and starts hitting his head with it again and again until Massacre Man grabs his tail*

Massacre Man: I said "Fuck off!"

*He swings Zero by his tail and throws him toward the road, he gets hit by the __V__'s News Van in mid-air and is carried with them, after Zero's been dealt with Massacre Man makes his way to the ambulance, he gets on the radio*

Massacre Man: Um... a monkey killed the drivers, I need more paramedics.

*Just then the two paramedics wake up as zombies, they tear into Massacre Man, ripping his head from his body*

[massacre man]

*Inside the bar, Dudeman sits with a 22 oz. in his hand, he drinks the last bit of it and drops the can on a pile of several others, a band is in a small corner, led by Gorephobia, they are playing soft folk music, everyone who has already entered the bar is sitting at their own respective tables, Doc Faustus is at the bar with a mug half-filled with beer, the bartender, Posher, stands in front of him*

Posher: Hey, you're that guy who was on the news earlier aren't you?

Faustus: Yes, as a matter of fact I am.

Posher: What was it like?

Faustus: What was what like?

Posher: Killing all of those zombies.

Faustus: Didn't you watch the news, I've already answered that question.

Posher: Yeah, but you just rambled on about a psychopath who wouldn't speak.

Faustus: You know where he is!?

Posher: ...Who?

Faustus: HE WOULDN'T SPEAK! HE JUST STARED!

Posher: Who?

*Faustus grabs Posher by his shirt and pulls him closer so they are face-to-face*

Faustus: This is important, tell me where he is!

*Everybody in the bar looks over at them*

Posher: Please, let go of me.

Faustus: TELL ME WHERE HE IS!

*He shakes Posher, Posher then stretches his arm back and punches Faustus in the face, he falls to the ground, Posher looks over the bar at him, Faustus rushes to the bathroom to tend to his bleeding nose, Illdojo pulls out his bong, Posher notices*

Posher: Hey, sir, excuse me, you can't do that here, put it away or I'll have to call the cops.

*Illdojo gets up and goes into the bathroom, Faustus is in one of the stalls*

Dojo: Damn it.

*Illdojo looks up and sees the pull-down cord that leads to the attic*

Dojo: Yessss.

*Illdojo opens the attic and climbs in, he closes it behind him, Faustus leaves the stall and stares into the mirror looking at his nose, when the angle Faustus is facing the mirror changes Murderdoll is seen standing directly behind him, she pushes his face into the mirror, breaking it, Faustus falls to the ground, she reaches over and locks the door, she puts her foot on his chest and applies pressure, she sits on his stomach and uses her thumbs to gouge his eyes out, she then picks up a piece of the mirror and cuts his throat, Faustus lays lifeless when there is a knock at the door, she panics, notices the way to the attic, she opens it and climbs up, dragging the body with her, outside of the bathroom Dudeman is standing*

Dudeman: I have to piss!

*Posher walks over*

Posher: That old guy's in there.

*Posher knocks*

Posher: Sir! Sir! Are you in there?

*Posher pulls out his key and unlocks the door, he sees all of the blood and assumes it came from Faustus' nose, Dudeman runs to the urinal and uses it, Posher looks around the bathroom*

Posher: Where did he go? Did he run?

*He walks to a small window by the sinks and opens it to look out*

Posher: I don't see him.

*Posher leaves the window open, he and Dudeman walk out, as soon as they leave the room Zero climbs into the window*

[massacre man]

*Cut to the bar, Horrorobsessed is sitting on a stool reading a book and trading looks with Posher, Zwoti sits next to her and starts talking to her*

Zwoti: Hi.

Horrorobsessed: Oh, hey.

Zwoti: How's it goin'?

Horrorobsessed: Um... Fine, and you?

Zwoti: Oh, I'm great, what ya readin'?

Horrorobsessed: A Tales From The Crypt comic book.

Zwoti: Oh, are you into horror stories?

Horrorobsessed: A bit.

Zwoti: You'll have to visit my home library then, I've got a huge collection, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, The Raven.

*Posher looks over and can immediately tell that she isn't interested, he walks over*

Posher: I'm back, babe.

*He looks at Zwoti*

Posher: Who is this?

*Zwoti grins*

Zwoti: I see... Nevermind then.

*Zwoti walks off to the bathroom, Gorephobia walks to the bar*

Gorephobia: Can I get a beer?

Posher: Sure thing.

*Posher hands Gore a beer, Dudeman yells from the other end of the bar*

Dudeman: Another 22 over here god damn it.

*Posher tosses it to him*

Dudeman: Now you shook it all up, it's gonna be flat.

Posher: Sorry man, that ones on the house then.

Dudeman: All if forgiven.

*Dudeman opens the beer and begins to drink it, he puts it down*

Dudeman: I wanna watch Clockwork Orange.

Posher: You live upstairs, go ahead.

Dudeman: I don't feel like walkin' all the way up there.

*Posher ignores Dudeman and turns back to Horrorobsessed*

Horrorobsessed: Thanks.

Posher: No problem. Who is that anyway?

Horrorobsessed: I don't know.

Posher: Oh, well listen, I was wondering, since I helped you, can you help me a little?

Horrorobsessed: Maybe, what do I gotta do?

Posher: I just need somebody to go to this wedding with me, my family makes fun of me for never bringing girls to any family events and I've been to nervous to ask anyone to actually go with me, I was wondering if you could just go as a favor?

Horrorobsessed: Sure.

Posher: Thank you, so much. I'll tell you more about it in a minute, that guys been in the bathroom a while, I don't want him breaking more stuff in there.

*Posher walks to the bathroom and opens the door, as soon as he walks in Zwoti hits him in the head with a chunk broken from the sink, he hits the ground knocked out*

*Posher wakes up, tied to the toilet by his feet with his shirt torn off and used as a gag and to tie his hands and feet together, Zwoti paces in front of him*

Zwoti: She was MINE! Get it? MINE! You ruined that moment for me, I've never done anything like this to a man before.

*Posher's eyes widen, he holds his legs tight together afterward*

Zwoti: But you gave me NO alternative! The taste of defeat was bad, but the taste of Drain-O will be worse for you.

*Zwoti walks to the cabinet underneath the sink, he opens it to look for drain cleaner, but instead he finds Zero smiling at him from inside the cabinet, Zero leaps out and tears at his face*

[massacre man]

*Murderdoll in the attic, placing the body against the wall, she jumps back when when Illdojo lights his lighter*

Murderdoll: Who the fuck are you?

*Illdojo is too preoccupied with his bong*

Murderdoll: I'm talking to you, asshole.

*Illdojo lifts his head, coughing*

Illdojo: Hey...

*Murderdoll sits next to him*

Murderdoll: Ya know, it's polite to share.

*She snatches the bong out of his hand*

Illdojo: Ya know, it's polite not to be a bitch.

*She pushes Illdojo over onto the ground and lights up his bong*

Illdojo: Bitch... So, what'd you up here?

Murderdoll: What the fuck do you think I brought up here? Are you retarded?

Illdojo: No, just making small talk and it's dark up here.

Murderdoll: It's a body.

Illdojo: WHAT THE FUCK!? WHY!?

Murderdoll: None of your fucking business, that's why.

Illdojo: It's a human being!

Murderdoll: I know that, I'm the one who killed him.

Illdojo: But... why?

Murderdoll: Didn't I already tell you "None of your fucking business"?

*Illdojo stands and hits something, it's a light for the attic, he turns it on and stares down at Murderdoll and doesn't say a word*

Murderdoll: Are you sure you aren't retarded?

Illdojo: I... I think.

Murderdoll: Shut up, I think there's someone in the bathroom.

Illdojo: Oh, ok.

Murderdoll: I said shut up.

Illdojo: Right, sorry.

Murderdoll: Stop talking!

*Illdojo stops talking, sits next to Murderdoll, after a moment he scoots closer and puts his hand on her knee and starts to run it up and down her leg, she sits still and glares at him until Dudeman and Posher leave the bathroom, after which she punches Dojo in the face*

Illdojo: You know, the last girl I hung out with was a lot less aggressive than you.

Murderdoll: You've dated a real girl before?

Illdojo: Yeah.

Murderdoll: You smell like weed and strawberries! To have sex with you the girl would have to be dead!

*Illdojo laughs*

Murderdoll: What the fuck are you laughing at?

Illdojo: When you hear the story you'll know why I think that was funny.

*Faustus starts to move, blood still dripping from his throat, making gargling sounds, Murderdoll and Illdojo quickly stand up*

Illdojo: I know that guy! He's a major asshole.

*Murderdoll picks up Dojo's bong, breaks it on the ground, gets on her hands and knees over Faustus and shoves it into his head*

Illdojo: NO!

*Dojo runs to them leans over Murderdoll, putting his hands on her chest, leaning on her ass, pulling her back, he pulls her back and they fall to the ground, Dojo still holds the same position laying on his back, Murderdoll wiggles her way out of his grip*

Murderdoll: What the fuck was that?

Illdojo: I was stopping you from uh... going crazy on the body.

Murderdoll: Why, he was dead anyway.

*Illdojo shrugs his shoulders, Murderdoll pushes him to the ground and sits back down, Dojo sits next to her again*

[massacre man]

*In the main room of the bar, everyone is sticking to their own business, Dudeman is sitting at the bar with an empty can*

Dudeman: I need another beer.

*Dudeman gets up and walks to the bathroom, he opens the door and sees Zwoti being attacked by Zero and Posher tied up, he turns around, closes the door, goes behind the bar, grabs all the beers he can and walks back upstairs to his room, cut to the band playing, Gorephobia stops, sets his guitar down and walks to the bathroom, he opens the door and catches Zero in his arms, who then proceeds to attack him, Gore falls behind the bar and a zombified Zwoti walks out of the bathroom, Horrorobsessed stands up and starts to back toward the wall, the rest of the band stands and runs out only to be attacked by the zombies of Roderick, Newb, and the paramedics, she runs to the door and locks it then attempts making a run to the stairs leading to Dudeman's room, when she makes it past the bar Gore grabs her leg and she hits the ground, when she looks back a zombified Gore is crawling toward her, she starts to slide back when she hears Posher's voice*

Posher: Someone help!

*She gets up and runs into the bathroom and slams the door behind her, Zero can be heard scratching the door and shrieking, she unties him, they sit still staring at the door*

Posher: We can go into the attic.

Horrorobsessed: Why?

Posher: I doubt they can fly.

*Posher opens the attic and climbs in with Horrorobsessed, they see Illdojo with his eyes focused on something that's behind a pile of boxes*

Posher: What are you doing up here?

*Murderdoll walks out from behind the boxes*

Posher: And what are you doing up here?

Murderdoll: Nothing!

*She looks at the body of Doc Faustus a few inches behind Posher and Horrorobsessed, then at Posher*

Illdojo: Do we gotta leave now?

Posher: No, there are zombies down there.

*Illdojo falls over laughing*

Murderdoll: He's high...

Posher: Oh.

Murderdoll: So they're really down there?

Posher: Yeah.

*Murderdoll leaves the attic*

Posher: Where's she going?

*Illdojo shrugs*

[massacre man]

*Murderdoll leaves the bathroom and kicks Zero across the room, the zombie of Gore sneaks up behind her and tackles her to the ground, she uses the hand that isn't underneath him to hold his head back, Zero stands and charges for her, just before he gets his hands on her, Posher drops a bucket of Zero and puts his foot on top of it, trapping him inside*

Murderdoll: Remind me to thank you later.

Posher: Alright.

Murderdoll: Get me a lime.

Posher: Why?

Murderdoll: Just fucking do it!

*Posher grabs a lime from the bar and throws it to Murderdoll, she quickly moves her hand from Gore's head to catch it, she then jams it into Gore's mouth then punches it in deeper*

Murderdoll: Now get him off of me!

*Posher and Illdojo pull Gore off of Murderdoll*

Murderdoll: If we can't kill 'em we might as well make it so the fuckers can't bite us.

Illdojo: Fuckin' smart.

Murderdoll: Fuckin' right.

Horrorobsessed: But there's another one.

Posher: What?

Horrorobsessed: Another zombie, it was that guy who was talking to me.

Posher: Where's Dudeman?

*Posher runs upstairs, everyone else follows, Posher slowly opens the door to Dudeman's room, when he opens it*

Dudeman: Hey, man!

*Posher sighs in relief*

Posher: I guess the other one left.

*Zwoti's zombie grabs Posher from behind, he attempts to escape but he just forces the two of them out of the window at the end of the hallway, glass can also be heard breaking downstairs*

Murderdoll: Fuck, they got in!

*Horrorobsessed and Illdojo run into Dudeman's room and slam the door, leaving Murderdoll outside, they listen to her from the other end of the door*

Murderdoll: Shit...

*They listen to the sound of Murderdoll being eaten, she yells*

Murderdoll: Fuck you! I'll snap your fucking neck, Get the fuck off of me! You can't even eat someone right you fucking retards! Go for my throat...

*The sounds stop*

Dudeman: What was that, man?

Illdojo: Zombies.

Dudeman: What?

Illdojo: Yeah... they're like... eating people.

Dudeman: That's crazy.

*They are both either high or drunk and totally non-responsive, Horrorobsessed is worried*

Horrorobsessed: What are we supposed to do?

Dudeman: To get out of here?

Horrorobsessed: yes!

*Dudeman thinks for a minute then looks up excitedly*

Dudeman: I got an idea!

Horrorobsessed: What?

Dudeman: You two get the fuck out of my room, and while they're feasting on you I'll run to safety.

Illdojo: I like it, but can I go with you?

Dudeman: Sure, well, start runnin' bitch.

Horrorobsessed: What?

Dudeman: Get the fuck out of the room and save us.

*Dudeman grabs Horrorobsessed by the arm and pushes her out of the door, and then closes it, the zombies don't notice her, she sneaks out of the bar undetected, back to Dudeman and Illdojo listening through the door again*

Dudeman: Alright, I think we can go now.

Illdojo: I'm ready.

*Dudeman opens the door and runs out only to be ambushed by the zombies, Murderdoll's zombie enters the room just before Illdojo closes the door, he's alone in the room with Murderdoll's zombie, she's covered in bite marks and one of her hands is missing*

Illdojo: Dead girl...

*Illdojo slips his sock off and rolls it up, he shoves it into Murderdoll's mouth so she can't bite him*

Illdojo: Wouldn't be the first time.

*Illdojo tears the shreds of clothes off of her cold, dead body and tosses her onto the bed, he hops on top of her as the zombies break through the door, they pull him off of Murderdoll and pin him to the ground, they proceed to feast upon his flesh, blood, bones, and anything else he happens to have with him*

[massacre man]

*A flashback to earlier shows Illdojo leaving the van and running inside of the bar, __V__ gets out of the van and gets in his car, he opens the glove box to discover he has a message on his cell phone, he yells to the cameraman*

__V__: We got a story, follow me.

*__V__ backs out but bumps into the back of Zwoti's car, a loud shriek of pain is heard for a moment, it is then silenced, __V__ drives back the way they came from, after a short drive they go back to the camp, they both get out of their vehicles*

__V__: I got a message about a book of spells that can bring the dead back!

Cameraman: It's an entire book and it only has one spell?

__V__: I guess, I don't know.

Cameraman: Where's the caller?

__V__: I'm not sure.

*Kasey walks out from a suddenly rebuilt cafeteria, fully dressed and back into her "hot-girl-body"*

Kasey: That's me.

__V__: Excellent, so, what about this book?

Kasey: Right, it's this book and there's a spell in it, it brings the nearby corpses back to life. But an evil spirit takes them over and it has to be taken out with another spell.

*Kasey tears a page out of the book*

Kasey: But that's long and complicated.

*Kasey tosses the page*

__V__: And how do you know all this ma'am?

*Kasey stands stumped for a moment*

Kasey: Ya know, you're cute.

__V__: Thanks.

Kasey: No problem.

*Kasey winks at __V__*

__V__: So, where's the book?

Kasey: I'll go get it.

*Kasey walks away, __V__ looks at the cameraman*

__V__: PLEASE tell me you got her calling me cute.

*The cameraman nods*

__V__: Awesome.

*Kasey returns with the book*

__V__: Ok, so we're gonna start recording this, after I give you the cue, read the spell.

*__V__ turns to the camera*

__V__: Hello, we're sorry to interrupt PedoFiles to bring you this special report which goes further into the recent hot-topic of resurrecting the dead

*__V__ gives Kasey her cue, she reads random gibberish from the book*

__V__: Truly astounding.

*an axe flies from out of nowhere and hits the cameraman in the head*

__V__: ...

*Kasey shows a devilish grin to __V__*

Kasey: Now you're fucked!

*Neverending tackles __V__ and screams at __V__ while slamming his head into the ground, __V__ pushes him off and jumps into the back of the van, he closes the doors and puts on a vest with tons of filled slots for shotgun shells and then breaks the glass on a box on the side of the van marked "In Case of Rival Networks. Break Glass" he pulls out a shotgun and kicks the back door open, he puts the shotgun over his shoulder*

__V__: Let's do this.

[massacre man]

*Back in the attic of the Manhattan Desert Bar and Grill, the reading of the book is shown on the TV, the zombies remain zombies but all of the wounds on Faustus heal and he awakens as a Deadite-rip off character, he leaves the attic and goes into the main room, he looks at the zombies that assume he is one of them, they ignore him. Faustus walks to Zwoti's car, the trunk is torn open and Novakru leaps out in deadite-like form, they approach Horrorobsessed*

Faustus: Come give ol' Doc a smooch.

*Horrorobsessed starts to run*

Novakru: Get back here, bitch!

*Novakru chases after her, she tackles her to the ground*

Novakru: Now listen, we don't want to hurt you, we just want your soul.

Horrorobsessed: Get off!

*Horrorobsessed manages to knock Novakru off of her, she gets up and runs to a nearby house, cut to inside the house, there are 2 guys inside the house, one is typing a script on the computer, he has a disturbed yet excited expression on his face, next to him is a young teenager holding a ferret*

Ferretchucker: Can I be in your movie?

Freak: ...

Ferretchucker: C'mon, I could be the evil scientist with a gun that shoots guns that shoots cages that shoots smaller cages that shoots ferrets!

Freak: ...

*Horrorobsessed runs inside the house, then into the closet, Freak and Ferretchucker sit perfectly still, confused by what just happened, Nova and Faustus enter the house*

Faustus: Where did she go?

Novakru: Give us your souls!

*The two continue to stare, Novakru slams Ferretchucker's head on the desk and then snaps his neck before stepping on the ferret, crushing it, Freak laughs, Faustus grabs his head and slams it into the computer monitor, after a few moments Ferretchucker, Freak, and the ferret stand back up, deaditeishafied, they all go to the closet, they open it and see Horrorobsessed smashed a hole into the wall*

Novakru: That bitch!

*Ferretchucker sticks his head through the hole and looks out, when he looks to his right, Horrorobsessed swings a machete and hacks his head off, he stops moving altogether*

Horrorobsessed: They die like people!

Novakru: GET HER!

*Horrorobsessed starts running again, only Freak and the ferret chase her, after they begin to catch up, Horrorobsessed turns and tosses the machete, it lands directly into Freak's chest, he hits the ground dead, she stands out in the open kicking at the ferret whenever it comes near her*

Horrorobsessed: Stop it!

*Horrorobsessed finally stomps on the ferret, killing it once again, she sits on the ground and puts her head between her knees when bright headlights shine on her, she lifts her head and Zwoti's car is charging for her, she rolls out of the way just in time, the car makes a sharp turn after sharp turn trying to get her until finally the car flips, Faustus is driving and Novakru is in the passenger seat, the airbags deploy, Novakru's neck is broken by it, but Faustus manages to get out, he starts to run toward Horrorobsessed when she starts running back toward Freak's body for the machete, she grabs it just as Faustus grabs her leg and flips her off, she rolls over and points the machete at him*

Horrorobsessed: Back off!

Faustus: Bitch, please!

*Faustus puts his hands on the machete blade and pulls it out of Horrorobsessed's hands, Horrorobsessed kicks his hand, which jams the machete into his stomach*

Faustus: Y... You bitch!

*Faustus pulls the machete out and falls to the ground, he swings it but misses, after a few failed attempts at hitting Horrorobsessed he dies, she looks over and sees the zombies coming toward her, a previously unseen car stops in front of her, the window rolls down, Posher is looking at her with a tired and exausted smile*

Posher: Ready to go to that wedding?

*Horrorobsessed's eyes widen, she gets in the car, Posher stares forward as he mows through all of the zombies then heads straight for the bar, he drives through it, and crashes right out of the back door, the bar collapses behind them on top of Zero and all of the remaining zombies inside*

Horrorobsessed: Thank you!

Posher: Wanna know something?

Horrorobsessed: What?

Posher: Breaking your neck after falling out of a window hurts.

Horrorobsessed: Wh... What?

*Posher hits the door locks, looks into Horrorobsessed's eyes, his face suddenly changes into a deadite face, he slams his foot onto the gas, the last thing heard is the car's engine roaring and Horrorobsessed screaming*

[massacre man]

*Back to __V__ with his shotgun, he shoots at Kasey who just vanishes and then blows Neverending's head off*

__V__: Haha!

*A Massacre Man deadite approaches with head fully attached and chops his gun in half*

__V__: Shit...

*__V__ hits Massacre Man in the face with the butt of the gun and starts to back toward the cafeteria when the cameraman stands up, bumping the camera onto the ground, breaking it, __V__ rushes into the cafeteria and closes the doors*

Massacre Man: Let us in!

*The camera tripod pokes through the wall into __V__'s arm, he grabs it and pulls it inside of the cafeteria, he then jams it through the wall which hits Massacre Man's leg*

Massacre Man: FUCK!

*__V__ runs to the window and hops out, Kasey appears next to him*

Kasey: Where ya goin'?

*__V__ ignores her and keeps walking*

Kasey: I was talking to you.

*__V__ starts running, he gets into the woods and he is suddenly tripped when Kasey appears again in front of him and sticks her leg out, she turns __V__ over and sits on his lap*

Kasey: C'mon tell me where you're goin'.

__V__: I was trying to sneak out until y'know, you started holding me here.

Kasey: Oh, come on. You're gonna die either way.

__V__: Not if you get off of me.

Kasey: They'd get you regardless, now you can stop squirming and we can have sex right here or you can just complain the rest of your life.

__V__: What?

Kasey: I like to leave 'em smilin', what do ya say?

__V__: Get off of me!

*__V__ pushes Kasey off of him as the three deadites approach him, he turns and runs, they chase after him*

__V__: Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!

Cameraman: GIVE US YOUR SOUL!

__V__: No!

*__V__ ducks behind a rusty truck with no wheels in the middle of the woods, he is out of sight*

Cameraman: Where'd you go!?

__V__: I'm behind the truck!... DAMN IT!

*__V__ gets up and runs into the morgue, he locks the doors and runs into the basement, he can hear Dante's growls, he opens the doors leading outside so he can see, he stares at the Dante zombie chomping and chewing his own skin*

__V__: Ewww.

*__V__ flips him over and pulls the hatchet out of his back, __V__ waits at the bottom of the stairs, Kasey appears next to him*

Kasey: Come on, please, let's just get this over with.

*Kasey takes her shirt off*

Kasey: Come on, give up.

*The basement door bursts open and __V__ chucks the hatchet, it hits the cameraman in the forehead, he rolls to the bottom of the stares*

__V__: Shove that up your ass, bitch!

*__V__ runs out of the side doors and heads back to the cabin as quick as he can, he picks up the piece of paper and hides in the back of the van, he finds the spell and starts to read it just as the ax bursts through the side of the truck and is then pulled out, Massacre Man's voice is heard from outside*

Massacre Man: Give me your fucking soul!

*Massacre Man hits the van with the ax again*

__V__: *Random gibberish from the book*

*The page starts to glow and a heavy gust of wind blows through the inside of the van, everything falls silent, __V__ peaks out of the ax-hole, he sees Massacre Man standing outside holding the ax about to hit the van again, he then looks at the wound on his leg*

Massacre Man: FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! This is so much fucking better then before, I can fucking see! I'm fucking indestructible! I have feet! This is fucking awesome!

*__V__ gets out of the van and approaches Massacre Man*

__V__: You're a person, right.

Massacre Man: Fuck yeah I am.

*Kasey appears next to him and starts yelling at __V__*

Kasey: YOU RUINED IT! I was supposed to bring all of my family back! But you ruined it!

*__V__ picks the book up off the ground and starts tearing the pages out and smashing it, he drives the ax into the book, Kasey screams and fades away*

Massacre Man: What... the... fuck?

__V__: Don't ask.

Massacre Man: Do you need that van?

__V__: Well, it's all torn to hell, the station will give me a new one for a story like this.

Massacre Man: So can I like... have it?

__V__: Sure, why not?

Massacre Man: Thank you so fucking much, I owe you.

*Massacre Man tosses the ax into the back and gets in the newsvan, he drives off, __V__ watches him go and he gets back into his car and drives the opposite way Massacre Man does, it's seemingly the end, all of the corpses are shown, all of the killed deadites, Zombified Dante still twitching, all of the chunks broken-bodied zombies Posher ran over, the destroyed book, the car Posher was driving smashed and flaming against the base of a hill far off in the desert with two completely charred bodies inside, then the camera shows a shot of the totaled bar, it zooms in to one spot, Zero pops out of the wreckage when suddenly an axe chops him in half, the camera zooms out to reveal Massacre Man holding the ax*

Massacre Man: Fuck you...

*Massacre Man gets back in the van and drives off into the rising sun*


THE END

[massacre man]

Body Count that I can remember. (Spoilers, obviously)

Paramedics-Eaten by Zero, zombied
Massacre Man-Eaten (Later Deadited)
Faustus-Throat Cut, eyes gouged, bong shoved in head (Lated Deadited)
Zwoti-Zombied
Gorephobia-Zombied
Posher-Neck Broken (Later Deadited)
Murderdoll-Zombied, had sex with Illdojo
Dudeman-Eaten, zombied
Illdojo-Eaten, zombied
Novakru-Smashed, lost her vagina (Later Deadited)
Cameraman-Axed, Worked for __V__ (Later Deadited)
Ferretchucket-Neck snapped, head busted open (Later Deadited)
Ferret-Stomped on (Later Deadited)
Freak-Head through computer monitor (Later Deadited)
Deadite Ferretchucker-Decapitated
Deadite Freak-Machete-Chested
Deadite Ferret-Stomped on
Deadite Novakru-Neck broken
Deadite Faustus-Machete'd, Bleeded
Deadite Neverending-Shotgun'd
Deadite Cameraman-Ax-Headed
Kasey-Destroyed with book
Deadite Posher-Burned
Horrorobsessed-Burned
Zero-Chopped in half.

[massacre man]

*The opening credits play with some mellow music on the soundtrack, Massacre Man driving the news van through an area more heavily wooded than the woods of the older installments, it is night time, the music stops, Massacre Man looks at the surroundings passing by him*

Massacre Man: I fucking hate the woods.

*Close-up on Massacre Man's face, zoom out, Illdojo is sitting next to him with a smile on his face*

Illdojo: You can say that again.

*Massacre Man slams on the brakes*

Massacre Man: WHAT THE FUCK!?

Illdojo: Just drive, man. We want to get out of here as much as you do.

Massacre Man: Who the fuck is we?

*Roderick Usher leans forward onto the seat*

Roderick Usher: That would be me.

*Massacre Man starts driving, he still looks as surprised as when his friends first appeared*

Massacre Man: So uh... what's up with you guys?

Illdojo: Not much man, I need to make a score though, I'm running out of weed.

Roderick: Yeah, not much is going on.

Massacre Man: No, I mean what the fuck is up with you guys, I watched Rod die and I'm pretty sure you were a goner, Illdojo.

Roderick: Well, throughout this experience I'd say that you've

*Roderick is interrupted by Illdojo*

Illdojo: You're fuckin' nuts, man.

Massacre Man: BULLSHIT!

Roderick: No, it's true. We're in your head, we're like Ginger in Ginger Snaps 2.

Illdojo: Fag. You could have said Bruce Willis in The Sixth Sense but you had to pick a girl. Ginger's fucking hot though.

Roderick: Especially after she turns into the wolf.

*Awkward silence*

Roderick: So uh... Massacre, how about these dark, creepy woods. You know in a horror movie you'd run out of gas about now.

*The van comes to a stop*

Massacre Man: ROD! What did I tell you about mentioning what happens in movies? Even when you're in my head you still manage to fuck me over! If you aren't already dead I would choke the shit out of you.

*Massacre Man gets out, slams the door and starts walking, Illdojo and Roderick Usher vanish, as Massacre man exits the screen a shape in the darkness can be heard growling, it's breath rising up like steam*

[massacre man]

*Jenna26 is inside of a cabin in the middle of the woods talking on a cellphone*

Jenna26: Everything is set up... Yeah, I got it... I don't care what she says, bring her anyway...

*Jenna26 hangs up and sits in a chair next to a table, there is a knock at the door, she stands up and pulls the door open, Massacre Man is standing outside*

Massacre Man: Hey, my van broke down a ways down the road, I was wondering if I could use your phone to call for a tow truck.

Jenna26: Sure, come inside.

*Roderick's voice is heard, but only by Massacre Man*

Roderick: That was a mistake!

Massacre Man: Shut the fuck up.

*Jenna26 gives him an odd look*

Massacre Man: Sorry... I'm just a bit out of it, I had a rough day.

Jenna26: Oh? How's that?

Massacre Man: Fucking... Um... I got in a fight.

Jenna26: Why?

Massacre Man: Something about a book and a camp, I don't feel like talking about it, it feels like I've been to fucking hell and back.

Jenna26: Oh, sit down, you want some beer?

Massacre Man: No, thanks. I don't drink.

*Illdojo's voice is heard*

Illdojo: I'll take one.

Massacre Man: Wait, on second thought, I'll take one.

*Jenna26 opens a cooler and tosses a beer to Massacre Man, he opens it and whispers to it*

Massacre Man: See what happens when I don't have enough braincells for you assholes to pop up.

*Jenna26 gives him another odd look*

Massacre Man: What?

Jenna26: Um... nothing.

*She turns away and walks stands in front of the cabin, she sees a car pull in*

Jenna26: Here are my friends.

*MissMacabre and Bleeding_AngelGirl get out and approach the house, when they get to the door Bleeding_AngelGirl has a bit of a smile while MissMacabre seems she doesn't want to be there*

Jenna26: How's it going, girls?

Bleeding_AngelGirl: Just great.

Jenna26: Don't feel like speaking, Miss?

MissMacabre: Not really.

Jenna26: Come on, Disease is coming over, I know you like him.

MissMacabre: No I don't. He is the biggest asshole this side of the Earth.

Jenna26: Awww, poor baby, *Baby voice* Disease pulled my pants down in front of everyone and they all saw my panties boo hoo.

Bleeding_AngelGirl: Is anyone else coming?

Jenna26: Tic...

MissMacabre: Please take me home now.

Bleeding_Angelgirl: Did I miss something, what's your problem with Tic?

MissMacabre: I take back what I said about Disease, Tic is the biggest on this side of the Earth.

Jenna26: He tried grabbing her chest at Posher's last party, not that there's much to grab. Speaking of that, we should get Posher to put together another party.

MissMacabre: Please take me home.

Bleeding_Angelgirl: Whose that guy in there?

Jenna26: His van broke down.

Bleeding_Angelgirl: Oh, he's pretty gross.

Jenna26: I know!

Massacre Man: I can hear you.

Jenna26: We know.

*Jenna26 turns around*

Jenna26: Well, let's head inside.

Bleeding_Angelgirl: Alright.

*The girls walk inside, a shot of the car, the odd, heavy-breathing shadowy shape from before is standing behind it*

[massacre man]

*Gorephobia and Ferretchucker are walking by a very small pond in the middle of the woods with fishing rods and tackle boxes in hand, Gorephobia is also holding a lantern*

Gorephobia: There, ya happy now? We get to go night fishing.

Ferretchucker: Jerry says that the biggest fish come out at night.

Gorephobia: Well, Jerry's fucking retarded.

Ferretchucker: No he's not.

Gorephobia: Yes he is.

Ferretchucket: NO HE'S NOT!

Gorephobia: YES HE IS!

*Gorephobia pushes Ferretchucket into the pond, he gets caught on a tree root at the bottom and is stuck beneath the water, Gorephobia gets on his knees and sticks his hand in to help Ferretchucker, but in a close-up of his face his eyes widen, a small drop of blood flows from his mouth, Ferretchucker climbs out just in time to see Gorephobia's dead body fall into the water, behind him was Rayne holding a sharpened pipe, Ferretchucket managed to catch his breath while Rayne was pulling the pipe out. He started running through the woods*

Ferretchucket: GO AWAY! GO AWAY! HELP! HELP!

*Ferretchucker manages to hide within a tree stump, Rayne can't find him, Ferretchucket becomes overexcited with his cunning escape*

Ferretchuker: YES! I got away!

*He crawls out and peeks around for Rayne to see if he can make it out of the woods, Rayne slowly approaches him from behind, she grabs him by the hair and pulls out a knife, the screen cuts away just as Rayne raises the knife*

[massacre man]

*Jenna26, MissMacabre, Bleeding_AngelGirl, and Massacre Man are sitting inside of the cabin, Jenna and Bleeding_AngelGirl are having a conversation, Massacre Man and MissMacabre are sitting next to eachother and staring off into nothing, Massacre Man looks at her*

Massacre Man: How's it goin'?

MissMacabre: Um... good. And you?

Massacre Man: Today sucked.

*Roderick Usher's voice is heard*

Roderick Usher: Try dying, asshole.

Massacre Man: I already have!

*Massacre Man snaps back into attention and stares off again, as does MissMacabre, when there is a knock at the door*

Jenna26: Who's there!?

Tic: Us!

*Jenna26 opens the door, Tic and Disease enter holding 6-packs*

Disease: We got beer! Time to party!

Jenna26: We already have beer.

Disease: Oh... WE GOT MORE BEER! TIME TO PARTY!

*Tic notices Massacre Man*

Tic: Who is this douchebag?

*Massacre Man ignores him*

Jenna26: He's waiting for a tow truck.

*Tic says something but it is drowned out by the music Disease has turned on and his shouts of "PARTY!", Massacre Man gets up and walks outside, he sees the shadowy-shape behind the car, he starts walking toward it, he hears Rod's voice*

Roderick Usher: It's gonna be a...

Massacre Man: Shut the fuck up!

*When Massacre Man gets close to the car he is stopped by the beep of a horn, he turns and sees the tow truck, driven by Dude Guadalupe, he walks to the window*

Massacre Man: One second, I think I forgot my keys.

*Massacre Man runs back inside of the cabin, he looks at the seat he was in and notices Tic leaning against MissMacabre rubbing her leg, the other 3 people there were busy shotgunning the beer cans, Massacre Man walks over, grabs Tic by the shoulder, punches him in the face, grabs his keys, and then scurries to the tow truck, he gets in*

Dude Guadalupe: So, what am I looking for?

Massacre Man: A news van.

Dude Guadalupe: Do you mind if I turn the radio on?

Massacre Man: Go ahead.

*Dude Guadalupe turns on the radio, metal pierces the speakers and Massacre Man's ears until they get to the van which is now covered in scratches and has a huge gaping hole where the small axe holes used to be, Massacre Man gets out and peaks in the hole*

Massacre Man: Where's my axe?

*Just then Massacre Man hears the sound of breaking glass, he looks over to see Tic holding a baseball bat, standing next to Dude Guadalupe's side of the truck*

Tic: You think you can hit me?

*The metal is still pounding loudly, Tic approaches Massacre Man, when he gets to the small gap between the truck and the van he is tackled to the ground by the shape that's revealed itself to be a werewolf, it starts to chew on him, after a small bit he starts walking toward Massacre Man who is paralyzed with fear until the wolf smells the fresh blood coming from Dude Guadalupe's unconscious head, the wolf turns, leaps into the truck and starts tearing at Dude's head, Massacre Man attempts to run but trips over something, he sees his axe laying on the ground, he picks it up and remains seated*

Massacre Man: Here doggie! Here doggie doggie!

*The wolf starts charging toward Massacre Man, he swings the axe, it takes out both front legs of the wolf*

Massacre Man: Fuck if I get trailed by another one of you assholes.

*Massacre Man pulls back on the axe and decapitates the wolf, he starts walking back toward the cabin, after he is off-screen, the two dead bodies have begun to grow hair on their wounds, their eyes open*

[massacre man]

*__V__ sits at a computer in the news station typing, he hasn't cleaned any of the blood or dirt on him from earlier that day, the weathergirl, ABnormal approaches him with a bottle marked "Z-Ropis", she sits on the chair next to him*

ABnormal: Hey...

*__V__'s eyes are glued to the screen he isn't paying attention to anything around him*

__V__: Fuck off.

ABnormal: I just wanted to know what happened to you.

__V__: Fuck off.

*She takes a sip of the water then walks away, __V__ still pays perfect attention to the screen, he stops typing, then presses the print button, he had written an entire film script on what had happened to him earlier that day*

__V__: I can finally get out of this piece of shit news station.

*__V__ leaves the room and enters the set on which everything is filmed, he watches the ABnormal presenting the weather, he catches her eye and mouths the words "Sorry", she nods at him and enters the elevator, when he gets downstairs he sees a dead body lying on the ground, another on a desk, their mouths, throats and stomachs burned completely open. He walks outside when a man gas mask leaps in front of him*

Man in mask: Get back inside.

__V__: Why?

Man in mask: We're to understand there's a disease broken loose, we have to quarantine this area.

__V__: But there's nothing wrong with me.

Man in mask: Listen, this will be over soon, just go back inside. We'll take care of this and you get on with your business.

__V__: How soon will this be over?

Man in mask: 3 days, tops.

__V__: What if I don't go back in there?

Man in mask: I get to do what I've been waiting to do ever since I started this job.

*The man in the gas mask pulls out the AK-47 strapped to his back and points it at __V__*

__V__: Well... shit...

*__V__ pounds his fist onto the front of the gun making it flip and the back hits the man in the mask in the chin, knocking him down, __V__ starts running, he turns the corner into an alley next to the station, he stops and is face-to-face with a dozen people wearing the same suit and gas masks.*

__V__: Fine, I'll go in.

*__V__ turns around and walks inside, the men then proceed to bar and block the door to prevent any escapes, __V__ walks past the bodies and gets back into the elevator*

[massacre man]

*Clouds cover the full moon as a light breeze blows through the forest. Cut to The main room of the cabin, MissMacabre is nowhere to be found, Jenna26 and Bleeding_AngelGirl are having a conversation, but it is drowned out by the stereo, Disease is flipping through a CD case, the front door is vibrating as if someone was banging on it, but nobody can hear it, cut to Massacre Man outside banging on the door*

Massacre Man: OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!

*Massacre Man hears footsteps and quickly turns*

Massacre Man: Fuck...

*The footsteps speed up and get closer, Massacre Man runs to the side of the house, Tic quickly runs past him and hops into the window of the cabin, Massacre Man walks around front*

Massacre Man: Fuck, that's lucky.

*Dude Guadalupe runs in a similar fashion to Tic and tackles him to the ground, a close-up of Dude's face, his eyes and teeth now resemble a wolf and hair is sprouting up from his wounds, Massacre Man punches him, Dude stands and speaks with a slightly slurred language because of the teeth*

Dude Guadalupe: Oh, you're up for a fight? Sounds fun.

*Dude Guadalupe tears a rail from the stairs to the cabin, just as Massacre Man stands Dude slaps him across the face with it, Massacre Man gets back up and stumbles to the side of the house to go to the window Tic entered, but there is a dresser blocking his entrance, Dude grabs his foot, cut to Disease inside standing behing Jenna26, he is moving his head to the music, he puts his hand on Jenna26's shoulder and whispers something to her, she nods they walk outside, leaving Bleeding_AngelGirl inside and completely missing Massacre Man and Dude Guadalupe. They get out into the woods, Jenna26 seems annoyed, Disease is smiling*

Jenna26: So, what did you want to show me?

Disease: THIS!

*Disease unbuckles his belt.*

Jenna26: Wait, what are you doing?

Disease: I'm going to have sex with you.

Jenna26: No, you aren't.

Disease: Yes, I am.

Jenna26: No, you aren't.

Disease: Yes, I am.

Jenna26: No, you aren't.

Disease: Why not? You and Tic did!

Jenna26: No we didn't.

Disease: That's what he told me, he said you were as loose as a 6-year-old's tooth.

Jenna26: Are you serious?

Disease: Yes!

Jenna26: I'm a virgin...

Disease: But, you're mean to everyone.

Jenna26: So?

Disease: Well, in the movies the mean girl is always a slut.

Jenna26: Then stop watching movies and get a girlfriend.

Disease: Alright, wanna be my girlfriend?

Jenna26: No...

Disease: You know what? Fuck this.

*Disease pushes Jenna26 onto the ground and gets on top of her, he gives her a devilish grin just as Rayne approaches behind him and slits his throat*

[massacre man]

*__V__ exits the elevator onto the floor where recording took place, ABnormal is sitting on the anchor's desk writing on a pen and pad, he looks around for the owner of the station, he finds a character that is or strongly resembles Neverending*

__V__: Sir...

Neverending: Whaddya want?

__V__: About us being locked in here.

Neverending: Whaddya talking about?

__V__: That...

*__V__ points out of the window, Neverending looks down at the men in gas masks holding guns and talking*

Neverending: How did I miss that.

*__V__ looks at the trash can and sees a few empty Jack Daniels bottles*

__V__: Probably because you've been drinking all day... sir.

Neverending: Eh... You're probably right.

__V__: Yeah, do you think there's any way we could get out? I have really got to piss.

Neverending: Go here.

__V__: I can't.

Neverending: Why?

__V__: Something about public bathrooms.

*The conversation is interrupted by a megaphone outside, the voice of the man __V__ had injured earlier is talking*

Man in the mask: Hello, ladies and gentlemen as some of you know, there's a been an isolated outbreak in your station, we believe it entered through the brand of water that's been provided to you. We've yet to figure out a cure but we've discovered it can only be transfered through bodily fluids. If you stay away from the infected and the water, you should be fine. That is all.

*The megaphone cuts off, __V__ exits the room and sees everybody in a panic, except for ABnormal, who has headphones on, he taps her on the shoulder*

__V__: Hey... You ok?

*ABnormal thinks he is talking about when he told her to "Fuck off"*

ABnormal: Yeah, I'm fine.

__V__: So nothing's um... wrong?

ABnormal: Everything's fine.

__V__: Oh, good.

ABnormal: Yeah.

__V__: What are you writing?

ABnormal: This...

*She shows him the pad, it's just a drawing of Neverending with his hand stuck in the shredder*

__V__: That's... nice.

ABnormal: I know. So, what are you up to after this?

__V__: I'll probably take a shower seeing as it would be 3 days since I had one around that time.

ABnormal: Oh... I gotta go now.

*ABnormal gets up and quickly walks away, the megaphone turns on again*

Man in the mask: We've determined the cure for this outbreak, we have a few men bringing it up the elevator at this moment.

*The megaphone turns off, everybody gathers around the elevator, except for __V__, who is trying to catch up to ABnormal, and Neverending who hasn't finished off his most recent bottle, when the men get to the floor, the second the doors to the elevator open the 3 masked men on the elevator open fire on the crowd*

[massacre man]

*We resume the scene of Dude Guadalupe pulling Massacre Man back by his leg, the clouds drift away from the moon, it shines down, Dude Guadalupe holds his head tightly, his body begins making odd movements, he backs away from Massacre Man who then gets up and runs back to the closed door to the cabin, he starts knocking again*

Massacre Man: OPEN THE GOD DAMN DOOR!

*Dude Guadalupe, now a full werewolf on 4 legs, drooling, growling, howling, leaps forward and pounces on Massacre Man, smashing him through the door, he isn't moving, Dude stands over top of him and sniffs him when a speaker hits Dude in the head, it was held by Bleeding_AngelGirl, the music stops. Dude leaps toward her, Massacre Man grabs his tail, Dude hops quickly around the room tossing Massacre Man into the kitchen, he reaches up and grabs a frying pan and bashes Dude's face with it*

Massacre Man: Haha! Fuck yeah!

*Massacre Man continues to swing the pan at the wolf, Roderick and Illdojo appear behind him*

Roderick Usher: Wow, this is like Dog Soldiers, you're just like Spoo...

Massacre Man: Shut the fuck up! I know Spoon dies!

*While Massacre Man is distracted by Roderick Usher the wolf manages to turn and kick him to the ground, he leaps onto Bleeding_AngelGirl and starts to tear at her directly underneath the window, Massacre Man gets up and runs back into the kitchen to grab a huge butcher knife, Illdojo watches Dude feasting upon her*

Illdojo: I get what's left of the body... third time's a charm.

*Massacre Man runs back out, he hits Dude with the pan, when he turns to bite Massacre Man, the pan is shoved into Dude's mouth, keeping him from closing it, Massacre Man takes repeated stabs at Dude's head until the wolf falls to the ground, Massacre Man stands and turns*

Massacre Man: Why didn't you help me?

Roderick Usher: We're not solids. We're dead.

Illdojo: Dude, that sucks.

Massacre Man: What sucks?

Illdojo: That.

Massacre Man: What the fuck is "that"?

*Illdojo points behind Massacre Man, when he turns he is face-to-face with a full wolf version of Bleeding_AngelGirl*

[massacre man]

*__V__ hears the gun shots just as he enters the room ABnormal walked into, they both quickly drop to the floor to avoid being shot and they hide under the desk, they whisper to eachother*

__V__: I didn't mean that I haven't showered for 3 days at this moment.

ABnormal: Shut up, I don't want to get shot.

__V__: Just listen for a minute.

ABnormal: Please stop talking.

__V__: I'm trying to explain something to you.

ABnormal: Not now.

__V__: Yes now.

ABnormal: Stop talking!

__V__: I will when I'm done.

ABnormal: You're gonna make them find us

__V__: No I'm not.

*They hear the sound of the door closing to the room they're in, somebody has just entered, they both stop whispering to eachother, cut to two of the men standing in the lobby searching the other rooms, they hear the sound of a desk hitting the ground and 2 gunshots, the man walks out in the mask*

Masked Man #1: That's all of 'em. I got the last 2.

Masked Man #2: Great, let's get home, I heard that Tales From The Crypt is gonna be on tonight.

Masked Man #3: Hold on, rookie. Let's check out your work.

*The second and third man enter, the first stays, the two men enter a room and find a man in a white T-Shirt and boxers laying on the ground, the desk had smashed his head to pieces, Masked Man #3 kneels next to the body*

Masked Man #3: Ok, where's the other one?

*Zoom-Out, Masked Man #1 is standing behind him, he slips off the mask, it's really __V__ in the suit*

__V__: I don't know, I guess she got away.

*Masked Man #3 turns to __V__, just as they're face-to-face __V__ blows his brains out, __V__ throws his gun to the ground and snatches #2's, he hits him across the face with it, knocking him to his knees, __V__ grabs him and smashes his face against the doorknob until the mask breaks and he hears the bones shatter, __V__ walks over to the closet and opens it, ABnormal steps out*

ABnormal: Did you get shot? Did you shoot him? I heard gunshots.

*__V__ points to two bulletholes in the ceiling and then at Masked Man #3, the walkie talkie on #3 has beeps*

Man in The Mask: Is the building clear?

*__V__ looks at ABnormal and grins*

__V__: One second...

*__V__ walks over to the walkie talkie and picks it up and answers the man's question with a calm, serious "Fuck you"*

[massacre man]

*MissMacabre is sitting inside of a small room in the cabin, sitting on a bed, the window is wide-open, she is talking on a cell phone*

MissMacabre: Can you please come and get me?... Alright... Fine... Thanks Anyway... Bye.

*MissMacabre hangs up and starts walking toward the door, she hears a noise, when she turns Tic is standing next to the window, his eyes a bright yellow and his teeth pointy*

Tic: Howdy.

*MissMacabre turns but Tic quickly dives forward and blocks the door, she tries making a run for the window, but Tic grabs her leg and trips her, while she is getting up Tic slides a dresser in front of the window, he tosses MissMacabre onto the bed*

MissMacabre: Let me go.

Tic: Now, to me, that sounds like a favor. Which i don't believe I owe you.

MissMacabre: Why not?

Tic: Oh, because you didn't give me anything I wanted.

MissMacabre: Like what?

Tic: Your body.

MissMacabre: No.

Tic: Then you can't leave.

MissMacabre: But I would have to lose my virginity to you, all you have to do is stand there while I open a door.

Tic: Why? I never got what I wanted, I didn't even want sex, I just wanted to feel you up, but then you whine about it and get that fat fuck to punch me.

MissMacabre: I didn't ask him to.

Tic: Bullshit! I bet you told him to, I bet you fucked him!

MissMacabre: EWWWW! Why would I do that?

*A beam of moonlight shines in, Tic takes a step back away from the bed*

Tic: That would have been... bad.

MissMacabre: What?

Tic: The light from the full moon, I would have been a wolf.

MissMacabre: How do you know that?

Tic: Instincts. Know what they're telling me now?

MissMacabre: What?

Tic: To FUCK!

*Tic leaps forward but is caught by the moonlight, he starts to transform, the wolf approaches MissMacabre when Massacre Man is smashed through the door once again*

Massacre Man: What the fuck is with you guys and doors?

[massacre man]

*A shot of a dimly-lit room, on one end Jenna26's hands are nailed to a chair, on the other Ferretchucker is hanging by his feet from the ceiling with a knife jammed deep into his shoulder, they are both unconscious, Rayne enters holding a pair of hedge clippers, there is a knock at the door she just entered, she sets the clippers on the table and opens the door, a voice can be heard but the person can't be seen*

Voice: Excuse me, ma'am. Oh... you have a bit of blood on your shirt. I'm with the local police department and there have reports of people vanishing around this area, would you happen to know anything about it? One of the people missing is a little kid that looks like that one.

*A shot of Ferretchucker, blood still dripping from his shoulder*

Voice: So, do you know anything about it?

*Rayne shakes her head*

Voice: Mind if I come in?

*Rayne nods*

Voice: Thanks, ma'am.

*The officer enters, it's Vodstok*

Vodstok: Well, I've got photographs of the folks that are missing you can take a look at.

*Jenna26 opens her eyes and tries mouthing the word "Help" to him while Rayne has her back turned to her, Vodstok doesn't read Jenna's lips correctly*

Vodstok: What's that about felt?

*Vodstok takes a seat in the middle of the room next to a table with the heads of Gorephobia and Disease sitting on top of it*

Vodstok: Cool props, do you work in movies or something?

*Rayne shakes her head*

Vodstok: Oh well, anyway they're pretty nice.

*Rayne nods*

Vodstok: So, have you seen these people?

*Vodstok shows pictures, included are Ferretchuker, Gorephobia, Gary Coleman, 7 from "Married With Children", and Austin34879365638026478976586285689265926597265912 69756, Rayne shakes her head*

Vodstok: Well, I guess I should be going then.

*Vodstok stands up, turns and looks at Ferretchucker hanging by his feet*

Vodstok: Oh my god...

*Rayne reaches underneath the table and pulls out a gigantic chainsaw, just as she is about to start it, Vodstok speaks*

Vodstok: These kids and their bondage play these days, ya know?

*Rayne shrugs her shoulders*

Vodstok: I blame it on that Eli Roth.

*Rayne nods in agreement*

Vodstok: Well, this was a nice conversation, I guess I'll get going. Thank you for allowing me in your home.

*Vodstok exits, Rayne watches him leave, when she turns Ferretchucker is gone, the knife from his shoulder is sitting on the floor, Rayne enters the room with a somewhat panicked look, Ferretchucker leaps from under the table with the hulking chainsaw, he starts it up, but since he is a small boy he falls straight forward when he charges at her and lands face-first on the chainsaw, his head is slpit in two, Vodstok hears the noise from outside and rushes in, he sees Ferretchucker's body on the ground*

Vodstok: Jesus Christ, what a horrible accident! I'll alert someone right away.

*Vodstok picks up his walkie talkie, Rayne yanks the nail from Jenna's hand and shoves it through Vodstok's eye, he shouts in pain, when he hits the ground it is driven in further, which kills him, Rayne picks up the chainsaw and finishes her off by splitting her in half from the bottom up*

[massacre man]

*__V__ tosses the walkie down, turns and moves onto the next room, a shot of the masked man, he has a 12 on his shirt, he calls over another one of the men, he has a 7 on his shirt*

Masked Man #12: I want you and your lower ranking officers to go inside and see what he's done, stay alert, I don't want to have repopulate my entire fucking unit because you guys can't pay attention.

Masked Man #7: Yes, sir.

*#7 waves over #4, #5, and #6, they enter with guns in hand, they enter the lobby and get into the elevator, when they get to the top Neverending is waiting at the door, he empties the entire gun into #4 who hits the ground a bullet-riddled blood-soaked corpse, when he falls his hand drags across the floor buttons on the elevator, the remaining 3 are about to draw there guns when the door closes and goes up*

Neverending: Heh Heh, gotcha.

*Cut to __V__ and ABnormal running down a flight of stairs, they make it to the back door, they walk out and peak around, the water delivery truck is still running, the driver dead at the wheel, rotten. __V__ and ABnormal start to run toward the exit of the alley, #8 and #9 leap in front of them, they turn and run back toward the door, ABnormal trips, __V__ keeps running and leaves her behind, she backs toward the wall while the two masked men stand over her, #9 pulls out a needle and #8 pulls out a test tube, #9 pokes her with the needle and puts it in the test tube, the fluid inside turns blue*

Masked Man #8: It's positive.

*The two men step back and aim the guns at ABnormal, just before they fire they are smashed by the delivery truck with __V__ at the wheel, he stops and gets out*

__V__: Sorry about that...

ABnormal: It's alright.

*A bullet flies between them, they look up and see #7 leaning from a window shooting at them, they run back inside, just as 5 and 6 make it to the bottom, they aim their guns at him and tell him "Freeze", __V__ and ABnormal put their hands up, Neverending gets to the bottom of the stairs shortly after and shoots both of the masked men*

__V__: Thanks.

Neverending: I hope you know you owe me now, especially you, heh heh.

*Neverending raises his eyebrows to ABnormal*

__V__: You guys ready to get out of here?

*#7 rushes to the bottom of the stairs, he pulls the trigger and his gun clicks. __V__ punches him, he then proceeds to take his gun and shove it into his chest, __V__, Neverending, and ABnormal exit the building and start to ride off in the delivery truck, they get a short way before the gas runs out*

__V__: Shit.

*The 3 get out of the truck, a Hummer stops next to them, #10 gets out*

__V__: So uh... I take it from your Hummer that you're more of a fist-fight kinda guy?

*#10 nods and drops his gun to the ground*

__V__: One second.

*__V__ points at the apartment building and whispers to Neverending and ABnormal*

__V__: Go hide in there, room #69, that's my room.

*__V__ gives them the key*

__V__: Go.

*ABnormal kisses __V__ on the lips, they keep their lips locked for a few moments, then Neverending and ABnormal run, #10 picks up the gun to stop them, __V__ slaps it out of his hand*

__V__: Hey, I thought this was supposed to be a fair fight.

*They put their fists up and #10 takes the first swing which knocks __V__ to the ground, he then proceeds to kick __V__ in the ribs until he is coughing up blood*

__V__: To hell with this, I'm not fighting fair.

*__V__ grabs #10's leg and pulls him to the ground, he punches him between the legs several times before finally standing and stomping his head in and taking his gun, __V__ turns and rushes toward the apartment building, he goes up the stairs to the top floor and gets to room 69, he looks in the window and sees #11 and #12, ABnormal is sitting in the bed, she then falls over lifeless, __V__ kicks the door open, shoots #11 in the head and charges at #12, tearing his mask off, he is revealed to be VampiricClown, VampiricClown responds to the de-masking by shooting __V__ through the chest, he hits the ground still breathing, short of breath, he looks at ABnormal, not a single bullet wound, it looks like her flesh is rotting rapidly, he realizes she was diseased*

__V__: She had it and I...

*Neverending charges out from a closet he was hiding in, VampiricClown grabs him and throws him to the ground, puts his foot on his throat and blows Neverending's brains out, __V__ shoots Vampiric Clown in the back of the leg, he falls down, __V__ pulls himself on top of him and spits right into VampiricClown's mouth before dying, VampiricClown pushes __V__'s body off of him and stands*

VampiricClown: I have it now, I'm going to have to suffer through my flesh rotting from the inside out... I can't do it.

*VampiricClown stands up and walks to the balcony, he looks at the parking lot below and leaps off, he hits the ground with a splat just as a giant truck marked "Antidote" drives by*

[massacre man]

*Massacre Man stands up as the wolf approaches him, he turns and sees the wolf version of Tic*

Massacre Man: You've gotta be fucking kidding me...

*Massacre Man kicks Bleeding_AngelGirl in the face and jumps onto the bed with MissMacabre, he grabs her hand and and runs out of the room, they go into the woods, Massacre Man finds a hollowed out, rotting tree*

Massacre Man: Get in there.

*MissMacabre ducks into the hole, Massacre Man sees the outhouse, he runs inside and sits down, he goes to turn the lock, but there isn't one.*

Massacre Man: It smells like the Holocaust...

*the 2 wolves surround the outhouse, impossible to tell apart now, they start to scratch it*

Massacre Man: Fuck, occupied! occupied!

*The wolves knock over the outhouse, the top falls off and Massacre Man rolls out of it, he gets up and runs back into the cabin, he starts tossing beer bottles on the ground*

Massacre Man: I've gotta be fucking retarded to think this will work...

*Massacre Man starts to stab Dude Guadalupe more and more so the blood drips out and mixes with the beer, Massacre Man slips out of the back window and watches the wolves walk in, crushing the broken glass, he watches them lick up the alcohol-filled blood*

Massacre Man: Holy shit, it's actually working.

*Dude Guadalupe wakes up and starts licking it up*

Massacre Man: That's just fucking strange.

*Massacre Man starts to walk away quietly, he starts headed toward the road when the wolves burst out after him, he runs back into the woods and starts zig-zagging through the trees, the wolves keep hitting them or stumbling to the ground*

Massacre Man: Haha! They're fucking drunk!

*Massacre Man trips, he spots Rayne walking from her house, her back toward Massacre Man*

Massacre Man: *Quietly to himelf* Oh, thank God, help.

*Just as he is about to yell he spots the bloody chainsaw*

Massacre Man: *Quietly to himself* Nevermind...

*Massacre Man gets up and starts running again, he makes it back to where the tow truck was, the body of the wolf he killed is gone, the head it also missing*

Massacre Man: That just doesn't make sense.

*A headless wolf body runs at him with only 2 legs, Massacre Man leaps to the side*

Massacre Man: Come the fuck on!

*Massacre Man hops onto the back of the tow truck and waits for the wolf body to come for him, he swings the hook on the back of the truck which catches the wolf, he hops off, the wolf is unable to get off, Massacre Man smiles at what he'd done, he hears a growling, the head of the wolf is about to bite his feet*

Massacre Man: You guys are fucking stubborn...

*Massacre Man puts the wolf head on the floor of the tow truck's cab, Dude Guadalupe's wolf, obvious because of the head wounds leaps out but stumbles over again, another wolf walks out and mounts it, Massacre Man looks below the two wolves*

Massacre Man: Tic! Ewww!

*Bleeding_AngelGirl's wolf walks slowly out of the woods, throwing up all over the ground, Massacre Man runs to Rayne's house, the door is locked, he throws himself through the door, he spots the bodies of Disease and Jenna26 and recognizes them, he stares Jenna26 in the face*

Massacre Man: Serves you right, bitch! I hope you suffered through every fucking minute of it!

*Massacre Man remembers what he was doing, he looks at all of her weapons, and chooses a sledge hammer, Bleeding_AngelGirl walks in, the rays of the morning sun shine in, she turns back into the a person and hits the ground, hung over*

Massacre Man: Wow, that actually makes this easier.

Bleeding_AngelGirl: Shhhhhhh!

*Massacre Man smashes her skull with the hammer and walks back to the tow truck, he sees Tic laying on Dude Guadalupe naked, Dude is already dead from the head wounds, Illdojo and Roderick Usher appear next to Massacre Man*

Illdojo: Eww, he had sex with a dead body. Why would somebody do that?

*Massacre Man and Roderick Usher look awkwardly at Illdojo*

Illdojo: Oh yeah.

*Massacre Man smashes in Tic's head, along with Dude's just in case*

Massacre Man: Oh yeah, that girl.

*Massacre Man runs to the rotting tree*

Massacre Man: I'm here, they're all dead.

*He gets around the tree and looks inside, MissMacabre is laying inside of it gutted*

Massacre Man: Shit...

*Rayne puts a plastic bag over Massacre Man's head and pulls on it tight, Massacre Man turns and leans against the rotting tree, they fall through it, Massacre Man puts his finger through the bag making a hole to breathe through, he tears the bag open and pushes Rayne to the ground*

Massacre Man: Why does nobody in the movies do that?

*Massacre Man drags Rayne to the lake at which she killed Gorephobia and drowns her in it, yelling at her the whole time he's doing it*

Massacre Man: This is for making lose an eye, this is for making me lose my feet, this is for making me miss Tales From The Crypt, this is for making run from zombies, this is for making me get eaten by zombies, this is for making me possessed by a fucking book, this is for making fight a monkey, this is for making fight a werewolf, this is for killing my friends and making me go fucking crazy enough to get visits from them in my head but not crazy enough to not be annoyed by it, this is for killing every fucking person I've come into contact with in the last 2 days, this is for knocking over the outhouse I was in and covering me in century-old grey shit. FUCK YOU!

*Rayne stops moving, Massacre Man kicks her body into the water and starts to walk off*

Massacre Man: I'm fucking indestructable! Hey God! Bring on whatever the fuck you want! I'll take it! I can't be killed! It's fucking impossible!

*Massacre Man lays down on the ground and closes his eyes to relax after all of this time, when he opens his eyes and looks among the tops of the trees he gets an extremely panicked look, you can't see what he's looking at*

Massacre Man: No, fuck no, please, fuck no.

*The screen goes black, a monkey's shriek can be heard*



THE END

[massacre man]

Body Count (As well as I remember)

Gorephobia-Piped by Rayne
Disease-Throat Cut by Rayne
Those assholes __V__ and ABnormal worked with-Shot or dieased by the water
Masked Man #1-Head smashed by __V__
Masked Man #3-Shot by __V__
Masked Man #2-Knobbed by __V__
Ferretchucker-He's small.
Vodstok-Nailed by Rayne
Jenna26-Chainsaw'd by Rayne
Masked Man #8-Run over by __V__
Masked Man #9-Run over by __V__
Masked Man #5-Shot by Neverending
Masked Man #6-Shot by Neverending
Masked Man #7-Got a gun in the chest.
Masked Man #10-Nuts smashed, head crushed by __V__
ABnormal-Rotted
Masked Man #11-Shot in the head by __V__
Neverending-Shot in the head by VampiricClown
__V__-Shot in the heart by VampiricClown
VampiricClown-Commits suicide after __V__ spits in his mouth
Bleeding_AngelGirl-Head smashed in by Massacre Man
Dude Guadalupe-Died from head wounds caused by Massacre Man
Tic-Head smashed in my Massacre Man
MissMacabre-Gutted by Rayne
Rayne-Drowned by Massacre Man

(Supposed) Survivors: Massacre Man, Masked Man #4.

[_____V_____]

Thunder rumbles in the distance, followed by huge bolts of lightning which act as bright flashes...revealing a huge jungle drenched by torrential rain. A small muddy path runs through the centre...and the scene zooms on a stagecoach pulled by 6 puffing, wet horses...which winds its way through the arduous terrain...

The driver, wearing a long, dark grey cloak, whips the horses in a furious frenzy...muttering under his breath and looking up and around. The cloak falls back a bit...and the face is revealed to be that of alkytrio666's...


alkytrio666: Blast this rain! If only I knew about this sooner, we wouldn't have left Drongo Pass for Synthelvania!!


Inside the stagecoach, 3 people sit huddled in their corners...covering themselves tightly. 2 of them got blankets...while the remaining one tightens his jacket around him...his face partially hidden by his huge cowboy hat tipped to one side. He is apparently taking a nap, unmindful of all the shaking and bobbing.


Stranger 1 (annoyed): The weather was fine when we left Drongo Pass. Where did this hellish rain come from?!

Stranger 2 (anxiously): Damned if I know! The sky was clear as crystal too...I feel very afraid...

Stranger 1: Lets hope our driver is a skillful one and reaches our destination safely.


Stranger 2 nods, shaking and quivering, slightly drenched. A wisp of long hair on one side hints that she is a woman...and a very nervous one.

Stranger 1 looks outside wistfully at the sky, revealing a pair of big, grey eyes...and long, drawn out looks. It is VampiricClown.


VampiricClown (shaking his head): This doesn't look good...not good at all!


Stranger 2 looks up and shakes her head, and a sudden flash of lightning reveals her face. It is Hammerfan.


Hammerfan: Do you think this rain will stop soon?

VampiricClown: I don't think so. At least, not yet.


alkytrio666 whips the horses again. The whole countryside is lit up by sudden flashes of lightning, and the thunder becomes deafening. Suddenly the coach lurches as if it will tip to one side, but it straightens with speed.


alkytrio666: I hope we don't lose a wheel. I can't see a damn thing in this rain!


The huge shake causes the 3rd stranger to stir...and he opens his eyes slowly with a slightly annoyed look. His eyes are a bright green...and a small hint of sharp teeth and a snarl quickly disappear from his face with the flash of lightning outside. This is ___V___.


___V___ (in a deep, echoing voice): You both chose the wrong night to travel...

VampiricClown (surprised but slightly annoyed): We certainly didnt know things would get worse so quickly.

___V___ (looking outside with a gleam in his eyes): You have no idea how worse it can get...

Hammerfan (nervously): What do you mean?


___V___ points at the distance, and both VampiricClown and Hammerfan peer out of the window. The lightning bolts blaze the sky in a brilliant hue, and the rocky terrain is revealed in full glory for a few seconds. In the distance, many faint lights are revealed between the rocks and trees.


Hammerfan (sitting back slowly, wide-eyed): Wh-What are th-th-those?

___V___ (staring at Hammerfan directly without blinking): Wolves.

VampiricClown (stammering): Y-You got-tta be kiddd-dding me-eee...in this-ss hea-vvvyyy rain-nnn?

___V___ (turning his glance back outside): Yes.


The stagecoach passes through a clump of trees, and everything goes dark for a few minutes...a loud rumble causes it to shake real bad. VampiricClown peers out and yells.


VampiricClown: HEY ALKY! WATCH OUT WHERE YOU ARE GOING!


A bolt of lightning cracks through the sky, followed by a loud rumble of thunder...and the scene before him makes VampiricClown's hairs stand.

Because the driver's seat is empty...

[_____V_____]

VampiricClown slowly gets back in, shaking and shivering...eyes wide, open-mouthed. Hammerfan takes one look at him and pales.



Hammerfan (gulping): What is it, VampiricClown?

VampiricClown (shaking): Alky...I-hh-he's gone!

Hammerfan: gone? where?

VampiricClown (yelling wildly): Gone! As in gone!! Poof!! Like the horns of a donkey!

Hammerfan: H-how can that be?! He was out there just now...I heard him!!

___V___ (calmly): He's back.

VampiricClown (with disbelief): WHAT?!?!

___V___: Look for yourself.


VampiricClown looks outside the window again, and sees a cloaked figure seated where alkytrio was, whipping the horses furiously in the drenching rain. VampiricClown yells out at him, and the figure turns back at him. A huge flash of lightning reveals two eyes under the cloak which burn bright green for a second, then disappear. VampiricClown has no time to react, because just then unseen claws grip him firmly and he is yanked out from the stagecoach into the darkness.


Hammerfan: AIEEEEEEEEEEEE!! Th-they g-g-got...

___V___ (watching VampiricClown's legs disappear into the darkness): Wait here.

Hammerfan: Wh-Where are you go...?


Before Hammerfan could finish her query, ___V___ yanks the door of the shaking stagecoach open, pulls his cowboy hat down firmly, and jumps out into the coal-black night and disappears. Hammerfan shakes uncontrollably, then peers out at the figure which has taken alkytrio's place. A low growl emanates from him, and he glances back. Hammerfan catches a glimpse of protruding, sharp teeth and wild, green eyes in the bolt of lightning which erupts around her...and sinks back into the stagecoach.


Hammerfan: D-d-damnit...ah what the hell?!


Hammerfan kicks the door outwards, and jumps out of it herself. The mysterious driver whips the horses in a furious frenzy again, and with a renewed wild yelp, the horses pull the coach into the dark jungle where it disappears from sight in a second.

Hammerfan gets up slowly...her leg on fire from a deep gash on it. A slow trickle of blood seeps down from her naked wound, and she peers forward from where she stands, hobbling.

Just then, another huge bolt of lightning lights up the entire area, and Hammerfan sees a huge mansion some way off to the right from where she is standing, behind a huge gate which creaks slowly in the gusty rain. A sign on it flies wildly from side to side.

Hammerfan tries to watch the sign closely by taking a step forward, but just then someone grabs her from behind and closes a hand on her mouth!!

[_____V_____]

Hammerfan tries to scream, but a deep voice whispers "Shhhh...!" into her ears. She turns her head slightly to see ___V___ behind her looking intently beyond the gates. She heaves a small breath of relief and nods, and ___V___ unwraps his hand from her mouth and points over her shoulder at the gate sign.


You Are Not Welcome


Hammerfan looks on confused, and suddenly becomes aware of soft growls all around her. She turns around to ___V___, but he is not there. In a fit of panic, she wipes her face off the pouring rain and looks around. ___V___ is already near the gate, and he gestures at her to come forward. Hammerfan starts, then suddenly hobbles...losing her balance. ___V___ is beside her in a swift second, holding her up...and putting one of her hands around his shoulders, walks forward to the gate, supporting her.


Hammerfan (in-between hobbles): D-do you think we w-w-will be able to f-find someone out here?

___V___ (quietly): Not someone. Some-thing.


Hammerfan looks at him for a panicky moment, hoping for a more detailed answer, but the sharp pain of her leg drives that thought out of her mind. She hobbles on forward supported by ___V___ to the gate, and both of them look inside.

The gates cover a tattered shed beyond it, and between rows of trees and shrubbery, a long path leads to the desolate mansion...which itself was huge, stretching into the dark sky...totally shrouded in darkness without a single light.


___V___: We have to go in. The wolves are everywhere.

Hammerfan (looking around her fearfully): D-d-did they get alk-kytrio and Vamp-pp-piricClown?

___V___ (calmly): No. Something else got them.


Hammerfan turns to ___V___ with wild terror in her eyes, but ___V___ is watching something beyond the gates.


___V___: Let's go in. It's safe...for now.


___V___ tries to pull the gates open, but they dont budge too much. He tries pushing it, but the gates stop slightly ahead again. Just then he notices the chain at the bottom of the gates. He grabs a rung and pulls, and the chain comes loose. Hammerfan watches open-mouthed as ___V___ pushes the gates forward and they open out wide with a loud CREAK.


Hammerfan (very nervously): How did you open that thick chain?


___V___ does not answer, but keeps looking around them. He helps Hammerfan inside, and closes the gates behind him. Then they walk to the porch of the mansion, and ___V___ walks over to the main door, looking around.

The mansion itself looks very eerie, partially hidden by huge trees and shrubs which have outgrown it on all sides. A long corridor separates the porch and the outer door, which stretches on all sides. A single window beside the door looks shut, but the glass on it is cracked. ___V___ tries the door which does not budge from its place, then turns around to Hammerfan.


___V___: Wait here. I'll be back.


Hammerfan nods, rubbing her shoulders, shivering. ___V___ disappears from sight for a few seconds, then the front door's bolts are turned back, and it opens with a loud CLANG!, which resonates inside the dark mansion.


Hammerfan (trying to peer into the darkness): ___V___?


The rain keeps pouring down outside, and a slow but vicious snarl comes from near the door. Hammerfan cant see anything, and suddenly a bright light breaks the darkness in front of her. A stranger stands in front of her, holding a lantern in his hands. He looks quite old and wrinkled.


Hammerfan: Who are you?

Stranger (in an old, cackling voice): I am the caretaker of this place. My name is neverending. And who might you be, lass?

Hammerfan (shivering): I am Hammerfan. I got caught in this terrible storm after ditching my stagecoach. Can I get shelter for the night?


neverending looks at her from head to toe, and shakes his head slightly.


neverending: You might...if you choose to ignore the night sounds this place makes.

Hammerfan: Night sounds? What kind?

neverending: You will know. Anyone else with you?

Hammerfan: There was another person who helped me to here, ___V___. He went looking for another entrance to the inside.

neverending: Come on in then. He will find his way in too.


Hammerfan shivers for a couple moments, but too tired and leg hurting, asks no more and hobbles inside. Neverending shuts the door behind her. Hammerfan looks around her, and by the feeble light the lantern offers, sees that she is standing in some sort of a gigantic hall...which has a spiral staircase right in-between which is split into two taperings at the ground floor. A huge chandelier hangs in between the hall, and the staircase leads to further parts of the mansion. Beyond it, rows of rooms can be seen. Also, doors on either side of the hall are visibly apparent.


Hammerfan: Wow! This is a big place. You live all alone here?


Hammerfan turns around, and finds the lantern on a table beside her. Neverending has disappeared!

[_____V_____]

Hammerfan looks around, expecting to see neverending somewhere near, but he's nowhere to be seen. Hammerfan shivers slightly. Just then, a door in front of her slams shut...and the sounds reverberates all around her. Hammerfan picks up the lantern and tries to see in that direction, then slowly takes a step forward.


A voice (deep and ghoulish): STAY PUT!!


Hammerfan shivers wildly, the hairs on the back of her neck standing out like pins...and stands rooted to her place. A silvery shadow breaks through the darkness in front and walks up to her. Hammerfan gets ready to scream but the feeble lantern light reveals it to be ___V___.


___V___(slightly annoyed): You never listen to what you are told, do you?

Hammerfan (relieved): You ass! You gave me such a fright. I could kiss you!!

___V___: Keep the love to yourself. We have bigger things to worry about.

Hammerfan (curiously): Bigger th-...?

___V___: UNHF!!!!!


Hammerfan doesn't get a chance to complete her question as something huge with a red furry streak flies through the darkness and grabs ___V___ from behind, lifting him to the upper levels of the mansion. A scuffle is heard, and the mysterious creature comes crashing down somewhere in front of Hammerfan, steam coming out of its nostrils in short bursts. ___V___ jumps down and has his guns unholstered in a flash.


___V___(snarling): You DON'T attack ME!

Creature: GROWLLLLLL!!!


___V___ pumps 3 bullets rapidly into the creature, who lets out a big howl and then goes quiet.

Hammerfan is sitting down, shivering uncontrollably, biting into her fingers at the scene in front of her. ___V___ walks over to her, reloading his guns. Hammerfan looks disbelievingly at him and at the creature in turns.


Hammerfan: wh-what THE HELL WAS TH-THAT?!

___V___ (looking back then replying matter-of-factly): Just a werewolf.

Hammerfan (shaking): w-w-werewolf?

___V___ (putting guns back in holsters): Yes. Long story.

Hammerfan: Just what the hell is going on around here?

___V___: I dont have time to tell you. There are more around. We better keep moving.

Hammerfan (with slight sarcasm): And go where?

___V___: Somewhere in this mansion is a hidden, locked room. There you will find the answers. Come on!


___V___ grabs Hammerfan's arm and lifts her up, and starts forward.


Hammerfan: Just a minute. Get the lantern.

___V___: I dont need it. Do you?

Hammerfan: Yes I bloody well do!


___V___ grabs the lantern in his other hand, and both of them climb the staircase to the upper level of the mansion. A pair of green eyes watch them keenly, and a low growl emanates from the darkness.

[_____V_____]

Hammerfan and ___V___ walk into the hallway above, which has closed doors on both sides.


Hammerfan: If that was a werewolf, how did it die by your bullets? I heard they dont die so easily. And who was the guy who let me in? He said his name was neverending and then he-

___V___: disappeared. All in due time, lady. We are here.


___V___ stops in front of a huge locked door, gets something out of his pocket, and inserts it into the keyhole and turns. There is an unlocking sound, and he pulls the handle downward and pushes. The door opens with a slight creak. He pulls them both quickly inside, and closes the door behind them.


___V___ (quietly): We are safe...for now.

Hammerfan (sarcastically): Great. I was beginning to worry.

___V___ (looking at her): You dont believe me, do you?

Hammerfan (stretching the hand holding the lantern out): Try me.


The room they are in has a locked door on the other side. A window nearby is bolted shut, and they can see a couch and settee in the centre...overlooking an enormous glass bookshelf.

___V___ motions to the couch and Hammerfan walks over, puts the lantern on the table beside the couch, and sinks heavily into it with a deep sigh.___V___ looks around, then tears off a long, thin curtain and walks over to Hammerfan. He then proceeds to bandage her wound tightly.


___V___: We dont want you bleeding all over the place. They smell it and get voracious.

Hammerfan: They?

___V___: The things out there.

Hammerfan: But you said they were werewolves.

___V___: Technically, yes. Thats what they are. But these are different. They move differently, and can fly for short distances.

Hammerfan: f-fly?!

___V___: Yes. It must be the virus...

Hammerfan: What virus?

___V___ (taking a deep breath): Ok hear me out. I was a TV news reporter once-


___V___ never gets past the first sentence. A loud thud is heard from the next room behind the locked door on the other side, followed by a deep moan. Both Hammerfan and ___V___ instantly turn towards the door.


Hammerfan (whispering): Wh-what could it be?

___V___ (whispering back): Wait here. And this time I mean it.


___V___ walks over to the locked door and listens for a few moments. He then tries the handle, but it doesnt budge. He looks around and notices a key hanging from the wall beside the door. He grabs it and tries it on the keyhole, and the door unlocks.

___V___ looks below the door for a second, and satisfied...opens the door slightly. He peers into the room beyond.


___V___ (in a low voice to himself): Oh...my...GOD!!!

[_____V_____]

The room in front of ___V___ is brightly lit, with burning lamps and candles everywhere. Many glass tubes and jars can be seen...some filled with colorful fluids, others having different parts of the human anatomy - brains, eyes, jaws with teeth, hearts still beating, guts, etc. Several surgery tables spotted with dried brownish blood spots are laid in a row in the center, and some of them have covered bodies on it. The walls have large chains attached to them, and some of those chains have very thick cuffs at their ends.


___V___ (slowly): My hunch was right...

Hammerfan (curiously from behind): What is it?

___V___ (silently): With you in a minute.


___V___ moves into the room quietly, and looks around. A stifled moan can be heard in front of him, and he walks towards it. He reaches the bodies and silently uncovers one of them.


___V___ (in a low voice): H-o-l-y...


The body is that of a mutated werewolf, only devoid of fur. It has large, sharp teeth and fangs, with long arms and legs, but the arms and legs have a thin membrane between them which act as wings, when outstretched. One of the fingers has a ring on it.

___V___ leans down to look more closely at it. On it is inscribed "M.M." He frowns for a moment, then suddenly a knowing gleam comes into his eyes. He goes back to the face and sniffs closely.


___V___: Heavily sedated...


He turns to another body and debates. Finally deciding, he uncovers it and starts back...wide-eyed. Alkytrio lies on the table, seemingly at peace with his eyes closed. His right cheek is scarred by a huge bite-mark through which his teeth are visible.


___V___ (grimly): Damnit. Not alky...


He straightens and looks around the room again. Near the end of alky's table, a container lies on the floor. ___V___ looks at it questioningly, and a small sign is revealed to be stuck in the center, which has a single letter inscribed on it.


Z


___V___ looks at it thoughtfully, then decides against his will not to open it. He checks the room again, and finds a small door on the other side of it, possibly leading to another part of the mansion.


___V___ (to himself): I wonder who is in charge here...


As if in answer, footsteps can be heard in a corridor beyond the small door. ___V___ hurries back to where he came from, and quietly shuts the door...leaving a small gap to peek back in and check the owner of the footsteps.

The small door opens and closes, and the steps come forward and stop. A muffled thump is heard, followed by a grunt...and then shuffling noises can be heard. A cracking sound echoes through to ___V___, followed by a loud SHRIEK!


"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHH HHH!!!"


Hammerfan stands up bolt upright, shaking and shivering in fear. ___V___ motions her to quieten down, and peeks back in. And THEN, the laughter starts.


"HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA !HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!"

[_____V_____]

Hammerfan covers her ears, and is about to yell out when ___V___ covers her mouth shut and whispers "Shhh...!" into her ears softly. Hammerfan shivers uncontrollably in ___V___'s arms for a few moments, then nods in tired approval. ___V___ lets go and walks back to the crack at the door, and peeks in. The scene in front of him makes him start slightly, in surprise.


___V___ (softly, to himself): Not HIM...of all people!


VampiricClown is lying down on the table, his skull opened up and plenty of wires hooked into his brain. A gloved hand injects a greenish fluid into his cerebellum, and that makes VampiricClown go into spasms, his eyes open wide and his mouth taped. His body is held in place by big cuffs to his hands and legs, and after a few seconds of violent spasmodic activity, VampiricClown's body stops and goes silent. ___V___ leans a bit closer to have a better look at the surgeon, and stares. For he is looking at Austin316426808, looking down with an evil, satisfied grin on his face.


Austin316426808 (chuckling): Just a few minutes more, my dear VC...and I will grant you the gift of eternal life. You will be dominant upon others, and totally controlled by me. Just like the rest of my puppets...


___V___ looks on for a second, then realises Hammerfan is standing beside him...peeking into the room too. She has a horrified look on her face, and it contracts up into a blood-curdling scream.


Hammerfan: AAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!


___V___ tries in vain to stop her, but by then Austin has heard her...and has swiftly turned towards that door. ___V___ closes it in a hurry, and grabs Hammerfan and backs away from it. He shakes Hammerfan who has gone into hysterics, crying out loudly in sheer terror at the scene she has just seen.


___V___ (firmly): Hammerfan, get a grip on yourself! Even the ghosts would have risen by now because of your screaming!

Hammerfan (in-between sobs): Th-that was Alk-k-ky!! And Vam-mpir-ric Cl-lown-n-n!! WHAT WAS HE DOING TO THEM?!

___V___ (strongly): I will tell you what's going on, but right now we have to scram, or we will be Beef Jerky in a minute!


He grabs Hammerfan and opens the other door through which they had originally come in, but in the darkness in front of them, several pairs of green eyes stare back at them, with slow hisses and deep, angry growls.


___V___ (narrowing his eyes): Close the door behind me. I'll be back!

Hammerfan (disbelievingly): Wha-what the...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?!

___V___ (turning around with a gleam in his eyes): Trust me.


Hammerfan has a last glimpse of the creatures in front of him, whose growls have intensified into big, vicious snarls...and a huge, red shape breaks the darkness and pounces forward, followed by several similar streaks...and the door slams shut.

[_____V_____]

Outside, the rain keeps pouring down and huge flashes of lightning break the darkness, followed by deep, rumbling thunder which shakes the region. A shadowy figure approaches the gate of the mansion and slowly opens it. It walks to the mansion and looks around, then proceeds to the side window. A moment later, the window is open and the figure silently drops in.

It walks forward through the thick blackness, and stops...head jerking upwards. Voices drift downward to its ears, followed by low, vicious growls. It turns to the staircase and climbs up, and stops at the top...looking at the scene in front.

A door somewhere in front slams shut, and growls and yelps fill the air. There is a flurry of activity, and then a voice booms out.


___V___: Come...get some!


Rapid gunshots echo throughout the night, and the yelps turn to moans. When the gunshots stop, the figure walks forward. ___V___ puts his guns back...and is suddenly aware of a figure in front of him. Sensing danger, he grabs his guns again.


Figure: You have become good. Real good. Do you think I will be better?

___V___ (taking hands off guns): How the hell did you make it to here?

Figure: You left me a message at the hotel remember? I followed the route the stagecoach was taking and presto!

___V___: And not a second too soon...not that I need your help in this though.

Figure: Everyone needs help sometime or the other, bud. No matter how good you are.

___V___: Its the virus. It is eating me up inside but has given me extra sharp senses and other abilities.

Figure: Lets hope that you live through this.

___V___: Or die. Either way, good to see you, Disease.


Disease smiles back, and looks around. The bodies of the slain werewolves dot the entire corridor where the staircase has opened. He peers at something in the darkness and just then, a sudden yell breaks the silence.


Hammerfan: HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!


___V___ and Disease quickly turn towards the door behind ___V___.


___V___: Its Hammerfan. Quick!


Both men race into the room, just in time to see the door on the other side slam shut and a keylock fall back into place.


___V___ (with clenched fists): He's got her!!


Something red crawls on the ceiling above the two men, and a loud, maniacal laughter reverberates everywhere.


HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA !HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!

[_____V_____]

Rewinding the clock back to earlier in the gloomy, overcast day. Cut to a scene inside the "Masque Inn" bar, in the centre of Drongo Pass town. The bartender, Flayed One, whistles as he polishes another glass and puts it on the shelf behind him. He then looks at the scene in front of him.

All the bar tables are empty, except the one in the center. A big group has gathered around it, and they are murmuring excitedly to each other while looking on. A game of poker is in progress, and the person with his back to Flayed One, checks his cards in absolute glee. He is PR3SSUR3.


PR3SSUR3 (with a wicked smile): 25 grand...and I raise you 25 more!

Player 1 (throwing his cards in): Too big for me.

Player 2 (doing the same): Me too.


The other 2 players sitting on the other side look at the stranger sitting in front of PR3SSUR3. He has his hat low down, covering almost all of his face...a rather handsome chin can be seen though. He throws a bag into the big pile of money in the centre and speaks.


The Stranger (with quiet confidence): 50,000...and raise 50 more.


The other 2 players look at each other, then chuck their cards in...sitting back and looking at PR3SSUR3. His smile is frozen in his face like a half-smirk of a dumbwit, and his brains tick furiously thinking of a response to react.


PR3SSUR3 (with utter disbelief): I-I-I think you are bluff-ffing-g-ggg...

The Stranger (lifting head and looking straight at PR3SSUR3): There's only one way of knowing that, isn't it?


The Stranger is revealed to be Massacre Man.


PR3SSUR3 (deciding something): Hey Flayed, gimme some more money! I'll hand it back to ya in a couple minutes!

Flayed One (negatively): You already have taken enough. No more!

PR3SSUR3 (whirling around furiously): JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKIN' MONEY, OR I'LL BUST YOUR HEAD IN!!

Flayed One (looking forward with a straight face): Don't you dare yell at me, fiddlenuts! You'll have it. (murmuring to himself) Just wait till I get it all back, you no-good SOB...


Flayed One hands a sheaf of green bills to the person in front of him, who walks over to PR3SSUR3 and hands it to him. PR3SSUR3 throws it carelessly into the pile in the center, and looks up at Massacre Man.


PR3SSUR3: I call! Let's see what you got, horseface!

Massacre Man (leaning forward): You go first.


PR3SSUR3's face breaks into a wide, evil grin...which reveals two gold teeth in front. He looks at his cards with smug satisfaction, then reveals them one by one slowly.


PR3SSUR3 (savoring each moment): An Ace...and another Ace...with a King...another King...and...there's another King. Fuckin' boat!

Massacre Man (looking at the cards): That's all?

PR3SSUR3 (with an incredible look): That's...the game, asswipe!! Beat that if you can, motherf-!

Massacre Man (with sudden savagery): Shut your trap!


Massacre Man flips his cards around and puts them down on the table in a neat line in front of him. Everyone watching let out surprised groans, with some of them clicking their tongues sympathetically. A sudden, overpowering silence envelops the air.


For the cards are 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...of hearts. A Straight Flush!


Massacre Man (quietly): You lost.


PR3SSUR3 looks at the 5 cards with his eyes bulged out. His mouth is dropped open and he looks at Massacre Man, totally shocked. Massacre Man stands up and leans forward towards the pile. PR3SSUR3 comes back to his senses, and decides in his mind. Flayed One is watching on, and he senses something. His hands tighten on the shotgun under the cabinet in front of him.


PR3SSUR3 (with a low growl): You can't have that, butthead!

Massacre Man (looking up): Says who?

PR3SSUR3: Me.


PR3SSUR3's hands grab his guns tightly, and they are out in a flash. Massacre Man has a glimpse of steel in front of him, and takes two quick, sudden steps back. PR3SSUR3's fingers tighten on the triggers...and just then, 4 shots echo around the bar in rapid succession. PR3SSUR3 turns at the entrance, with a surprised look on his face. Then he looks down at the gaping holes in both his hands...the guns dropping from them onto the floor. He sinks heavily on top of them, feeling the stinging pain from his hands and thighs...and lets out a series of loud moans.

Massacre Man looks at PR3SSUR3, and whirls at the entrance doors at the same time everyone does. Flayed One looks too, and nods approvingly. Massacre Man realises who is standing there, and smiles.


___V___ (putting his guns back in): You will live...till the next time. Pick up your money, Massacre Man.

[_____V_____]

___V___ walks over to the counter, and sits down. Flayed One walks over with an inquiring look, but ___V___ shakes his head at him...Flayed One shrugs and goes back attending to other customers. A couple of guys lift PR3SSUR3, who gets up shakily and keeps yelling in pain, and escort him out of the bar. Massacre Man gathers up the money in a small duffel bag he's got with him, and walks over to ___V___ with a big smile.


Massacre Man (grinning): You came just in the nick of time.

___V___ (looking straight ahead): How did you end up here? I thought you had gone camping.

Massacre Man (reminisces): Long story cut short. I was in a werewolf situation, and Rayne...anyway, after that, Zero jumped me and bit me on the hand then disappeared. But not before I stuck a tracker on his back. I remember cutting him into pieces before...but how the hell did he get together again is beyond me...the tracker on his body brought me here, and I was looking for a drink before moving on, but got challenged to a poker match by Mr. Wussyface.

___V___ (looking at him): You said you were bitten?

Massacre Man (lifting his sleeve up): Hell yeah. Look at this.


The bite marks on Massacre Man aren't ordinary ones. Something deep inside the torn veins and red blood glowed bright green for some reason. ___V___ looks back at him.


___V___: Have you changed since then?

Massacre Man: Changed? what changed? I have stopped watching porn, if thats what you mean.

___V___ (keenly): No...changed into a werewolf yourself?

Massacre Man (surprised): Nope. I mean...not yet.

___V___: Put your hand out for a sec.


___V___ grabs a syringe from inside his jacket, and plunges it into the wound of Massacre Man, who winces for a moment. ___V___ drains the entire blue liquid into it, and then throws the syringe away.


___V___: If this works, good. If not...

Massacre Man: So...whats your story?

___V___: The block was quarantined. Some sort of viral outbreak...I got infected and they sent guards. Finished off everyone except a young chap who popped a bullet inside me and jumped out of the window himself, after I spitted on him. Luckily, he fell on an antidote-supply truck. He must have stopped it and got a shot for himself...because I crawled to the window to look what happened to him and noticed the truck stopping myself. I fell on it too...but the cover gave way under me and I fell straight into a full crate of antidotes, and got stuck with several syringes...

Massacre Man: Wow...seems like the shit never stops with us does it...anyway, I am tracking the redhead nuisance once and for all and putting an end to this.

___V___ (staring into space, unmindful of Massacre Man's response): The shots did something...at first I thought it was the antidote doing its work...but no. Something...something still runs inside me...

Massacre Man (staring): You okay? What about the bullet wound?

___V___ (coming back to the present): Yeah. And I still got the bullet inside me. (points to his chest)

Massacre Man: We gotta get you to a doctor and pull it out before-


Something inside Massacre Man's pocket beeps suddenly, and he fumbles into it and brings it out. Its a small, round device with a screen in its center. A red dot glows on it.


Massacre Man (excited): He's nearby.

___V___: Let's go.

A voice: What's the rush, ___V___ ?


___V___ and Massacre Man turn towards the entrance, to see a tall, shivering figure wrapped in a blanket, smiling at them. It's VampiricClown.


___V___: What are you doing here?

VampiricClown: Same as you. I came looking for answers.

___V___: Answers? You shot me and got cured of the virus. Happy ending for you.

VampiricClown: Yes, but I was given a job. And I intend on finishing it. I would-

___V___: And do what...pump another bullet into me?

VampiricClown: Nope. Don't get me wrong, ___V___. I am here to track down the person who invented the virus.

Massacre Man: Wait...the virus was invented?

VampiricClown: Yes, and the person lives near this town. So I was told by my chief.

___V___: You got more on your plate that you thought, officer. Its not only the virus and people you gotta contend with right now.

VampiricClown (turning slightly pale): What do you mean?

___V___: You will see.

Massacre Man (turning towards ___V___): See if we can get a ride northwards. I noticed stagecoaches lining up before the station in front. Till then, I ll go get some stuff...

___V___: Don't go looking for the signal yourself, Massacre Man. You might run into trouble...or an ambush.

Massacre Man: Nah. That's for us to deal with. I'll just get some stuff which we might need. (looks away for a moment)

___V___: Meet me in front of the station in 30 minutes.


They start to walk out of the bar, when a voice rings out from behind them.


Flayed One: Looks like you fine gents would need this. (tosses the shotgun to the three of 'em)

Massacre Man (grabbing it): Do you have some shells to spare?


___V___ and VampiricClown walk out, towards the station. Massacre Man comes out a few minutes later, holding the shotgun and looks at the receding figures. He takes the beeper out again and stares into it. His eyes light up while looking at it, and he looks in the opposite direction at a house nearby...then hurries towards it.

___V___ approaches the driver closest to him, which is Alkytrio.


___V___: Which way are you headed? And in how much time?

Alkytrio: Northwards on to Synthelvania. We leave in an hour.

___V___: Alright. I am expecting a friend to join us, so we have plenty of time.

Alkytrio: Leave a seat on the far side, you both. There's a booking for that already.


___V___ looks back questioningly at Alkytrio as VampiricClown climbs in.


Alkytrio: A lady. Hammerfan.

[_____V_____]

Inside a nearby office, Sheriff Tic addresses his deputies.


Tic: This is the fourth disappearance this month! Last night, Hellfire1 was out for a midnight stroll and never got back home...

Deputy FerretChucker: What about my ferrets? They have been disappearing all over the place!

Deputy Marya Zaleska: Shut it, kid. This is serious.

Deputy Fortunato: I really think we should take a closer look at that mansion up north. It had been abandoned for a long time, but lately I see some signs of life around it.

Tic (curiously): Such as?

Fortunato: Wolves and such. They usually dont frequent an area unless there is something to eat.

FerretChucker (in a low voice): Nobody takes my ferrets seriously...

Tic (impatiently): Not one more word about ferrets! Cant you realise how serious this situation is, young man? If one more person disappears, the Mayor has declared that he will have our badges.

Fortunato: I had made a round of that place a week back. At first I thought someone was looking at me through one of the windows, but when I looked back no-one was there. The place sure is creepy...especially at night, with the jungle and wolves around.

Marya Zaleska: It would be better to go prepared.

Tic: Alright. Get all the stuff we need. We leave rightaway.

Marya Zaleska: Do we take the car, or our horses?

Tic: Horses. I dont want to get stuck in that place at night with the car broken down.

FerretChucker (to himself): My ferrets wo-

Fortunato (pointing at FerretChucker): Can I put a bullet in his head first, Sheriff?


All three glare at FerretChucker, who looks downwards, grumbling. They then walk out of the office into the nearby shed and take out their horses. Fortunato follows them into it, with a green bag.


FerretChucker: A ferret would move much faster than a horse.

Marya Zaleska (angrily): And...your point is?

FerretChucker (stammering hurriedly): N-n-nothing.

Tic: Looks like a storm is headed our way. It might rain soon.

Fortunato: Lets hope we get back by then. (loads his shotgun)


The small group rides out into the path leading northwards and cross a sign which says "Synthelvania - 85M."




Rolling back into the present in the mansion, ___V___ and Disease try the door which has been shut in front of them...which doesnt budge despite their best efforts.


___V___: UNGHHHHH!!! Damn thing is shut tight. I ll go around and look for the other entrance. You keep trying this door. If it doesnt open soon, ram into it.

Disease: Okay.


___V___ runs out of the room and looks left and right, then decides something and disappears on the corridor to the right. He fails to notice the red figure crawling down from the ceiling in the room he just left, and the door closes shut.

Disease keeps trying the door and suddenly, the red figure jumps on him from behind. Severely startled, Disease whirls around and comes face to face with...ZERO! He tries to keep his face away from his snappy jaws, but by then Zero has grabbed him with his pointed paws, and bites his ear clean off. Disease yells and tries to pull him away with an iron grasp, and Zero comes loose...not before he has left bite marks on Disease's face and arms. Disease covers his ear with one hand to stop the bleeding, and by then Zero disappears into a dark corner of the room.


Disease (groaning in pain in-between deep breaths): Damn you, redheaded primate! You are so going down for this!!


The door behind Disease gently opens, and he fails to see an arm extended towards his head...holding a huge wrench.


TTTHHWWUUUUMMMMMPPPPPP!!!


He is hit on the head hard and crumples on the floor. Austin walks over and smiles at him. Disease lifts his head with a superhuman effort and looks at Austin with blurry vision.


Austin (grinning sarcastically): Ah, the new boy. Ears are too long and I miss the determination. But not too shabby. Not too shabby at all.

Disease (before passing out): So you fell in a tank of acid...got your skin bleached..............and decided to.........become a villain. Couldn't you.............get a job as........a rodeo clown-nnn...?


Disease becomes unconscious, and Austin's smile widens. He grabs ahold of Disease's leg and pulls him into the room, as Zero chomps on Disease's ear and looks on.

[_____V_____]

Tic, Fortunato, Marya Zaleska and FerretChucker are riding up to the mansion.


Tic: Let's leave the horses near the cave. We can't be too close to the mansion to alert anyone inside it.

Fortunato: I think I saw an old codger in there somewhere...come to think about it now, I am not so sure.

FerretChucker: It would have helped if I had brought one of my ferret specials...

Marya Zaleska: Good thing you didn't. Or I would have stuffed it with you.


They leave their horses near a cave near the mansion, about which Tic knows. They then proceed in foot, cautiously...as the skies darken and the first drops of rain spatter on and around them.


Marya Zaleska (to Fortunato): Make sure the ammunition doesn't get wet.

Fortunato: Don't worry. I got it.


They approach the big gates of the mansion which is chained shut, then look around it, peering inside into the garden and the huge house beyond.


Tic (in a low voice): This gate will take some opening. And we can't afford to fire our guns just yet. Marya and Fortunato, find us another entry.

Marya Zaleska (silently): We are on it.

FerretChucker: Why not me?

Tic (glaring and whispering): Keep your voice down...


Fortunato and Marya disappear for a bit, and after a few minutes Marya comes running back to Tic and FerretChucker.


Marya Zaleska (excitedly in-between breaths): Fortunato found a smaller gate on the backside, over which we can climb in. And we saw the old man again...he was pulling something inside the side-door of the house. It looked odd and heavy, in a black bag of sorts...

Tic (urgently): There is not a moment to lose. Someone's life may depend on how quick we are.


Tic, Marya and FerretChucker hurry to Fortunato, who waits beside the smaller gate behind the mansion. By then, its pouring rain on all sides, with long flashes of lightning and loud rumbles of thunder everywhere.


Fortunato: I ll go first. Then lets chuck FerretChucker in, since he's the smallest.


All four climb in, and then cautiously move forward.


FerretChucker (in a low voice): Wish I had a ferr-

Fortunato: Quiet! I hear some sounds nearby.


An odd, shuffling sound comes from behind the long door beside them. All 4 stop dead in their tracks, listening. Suddenly, the ground below them gives away...and they fall in with a huge yell!

[massacre man]

A shot of the horses standing in the darkness, only slight shines from their fur can be seen, all of a sudden a loud noise is heard and the horses are gone when lightning strikes, when it strikes again a horse leg eaten to the bone pops out of the cave and hits the ground

The four officers lay on the ground of the basement, injured but not badly, the room is extremely well-lit and bodies stacked around, the fresher ones are stacked on top of the older ones that have began to gather flies and smell bad, there is a hole dug into the wall it's completely pitch black inside, they see no other way out besides a hole in the ceiling that the bodies came from, in the hole in the ceiling they manage to figure out that the room above is much dimmer in terms of light and small streams of blood and green liquids are dripping into the hole

Fortunato: Okay, think, how do we get out of here?

Ferretchucker: Well if we...

Tic: I swear... if you mention a ferret again this room will be one body richer.

Ferretchucker: What do you mean by that?

Marya: Why don't we try that cave?

The group finally notices the hole in the wall.

Fortunato: It's too dark, we don't know what's in there.

Tic: Ferret, go check it out.

Ferretchucker: Finally! I get to do something!

Ferretchuker runs and jumps into the hole in the wall while Fortunato is looking around the room for another exit besides the two holes in the ceiling, he spots Ferretchucker hopping into the hole

Fortunato: Ferret wait...

Ferretchucker ignores him and moves on into the darkness, Marya spots the wall opening up.

Marya (whispering): Hide!

Tic runs and hides in the front of the hole, Marya lays on top of one of the bodies and pretends to be dead, Fortunato tries the same but falls through a pile of corpses, Neverending enters and grabs Marya by the leg, thinking that he's dragging a body, Ferretchucker's voice can be heard from deep within the hole

Ferretchuker: Guys! Someone killed the horses

Neverending turns, alerted. He looks at Marya who has started breathing again.

Neverending: Boss! Boss!

After a few seconds Austin leaps in from the room above them, he swiftly takes a syringe and sticks into Marya's arm, it's only sedative, he turns and sticks his hand into the cave, he pulls Tic out by his leg and sticks him with another syringe containing the same sedative, Ferretchucker falls out of the hole as if he was thrown, his nose has been ripped off, Austin looks down at him.

Austin: It appears my little creation has gotten ahold of him, I have no use for you, Neverending, do what you will with him.

Neverending: Yes, sir.

Austin and Nevernding exit the room, Austin dragging Tic, Neverending dragging Marya and holding Ferretchucker over his shoulder, the wall closes again behind them, Fortunato emerges from the bodies just in time to not be noticed.

[massacre man]

__V__ returns to the room Disease had been dragged from a few moments after Zero left, he is holding a large duffle bag, he spots the blood on the ground

__V__: Shit...

__V__ picks up a stick of dynamite from the bag, as he prepares to set it on the door he realizes it is open, he puts the dynamite away, a hand grabs his shouder, he quickly turns and is face-to-face with Neverending

Neverending: Boss! I got another one! Boss! Boss!

__V__ swings the duffle bag and hits Neverending in the face, knocking him to the ground. Austin's voice can be heard coming toward them getting louder as his footsteps get closer.

Austin: Ahh, you make a rather good pet, looks like I'll have to buy you a brand new...

Austin enters the room and sees __V__ standing over Neverending

Austin (Surprised): Toy...

__V__ pulls out his guns and puts a few bullets into Austin who falls over, he then runs off into the room to find Disease and Hammerfan as Austin and Neverending sit up, he spots Marya, Hammerfan, and Tic strapped to tables with wire hookups similar to VampiricClown, but no fluids have begun flowing yet. he hears a noise in a closet nearby, he opens the door and finds Disease tied next to Ferretchucker, who has had his mouth sewn shut, Disease hasn't been harmed yet.

__V__: Come on out, I got ya.

__V__ unties the two, they've passed out from the blood loss, __V__ stands up and is grabbed by Austin

Austin: Listen buddy, you're really putting a damper on my plans, we can't have that, now can we? I like you, perhaps we can form a bond.

__V__ slips out of Austin's grip but gets stuck with another syringe, he falls down, just before passing out he sees Neverending standing over him with a black eye and bruised face

[massacre man]

Outside of the mansion, the rain is coming down in sheets, a green '70s style van with it's lights off slowly drives out in front of the gate, it has tinted windows as not to show the driver, the door opens, the only thing visible is 2 boots stepping out of the van, the driver slams the door to the van shut, the driver fires a shot from a shotgun, the lock on the gate drops on the ground, cut to Fortunato in the room full of bodies, he keeps inching toward the cave, then backs away through fear of entering. He hears a sound coming from the cave, he backs away from it, Zero jumps out at him.

Fortunato: What the hell?

Fortunato walks to Zero who is staring at him innocently, he kneels down.

Fortunato: How did you get here?

Fortunato puts his hand out to pat Zero on the head when he hears a voice.

Voice: Don't touch him!

Fortunato looks up, he can only make out the shape of the man above, he is at the hole that he and his fellow officers had fallen through.

Fortunato: And why's that?

Zero bites Fortunato's hand and pulls his head down by his shirt collar and starts biting him.

Voice: That's why...

The driver shoots at Zero who then scurries off back into the cave. Austin leaps back down from the room above, The Driver walks away

Austin: Well, todays just my lucky day, isn't it? 4 pigs in a day! If they still made hot dogs from pork I'd be rich.

Austin notices the bite marks

Austin: Oh what's that? Another one! Damn it Zero! You're making my job really hard when you keep ruining my patients! Neverending! Open the door!

The wall opens up again, Austin exits dragging Fortunato.

Cut to __V__ waking up with his arms and legs strapped down, Austin is standing over him.

Austin: Good morning, sunshine! Now, this is very out or routine for me, I normally leave my... subjects... sedated. But since you've been sticking your nose in my business I'd let you see what it's like to have you skull cut open.

Austin picks up a scalpel, then puts it down.

Austin: But first... How would you like to see my little concoction at work?

Austin turns __V__'s table so that he is looking at Marya, Tic, and Hammerfan, Austin then turns a switch, the fluids flow into Marya first, after about a minute they stop and then the fluids start going into Tic, the machine stops.

Austin: Damn Zombie labor! Neverending!

Neverending enters.

Neverending: Yes, boss?

Austin: Get this running again.

Neverending makes his way over and starts to operate on the machine, Austin turns back to __V__

Austin: Just give it a minute.

Something sneaks up behind Austin and hits him in the back of the head, knocking him out, the driver is revealed to be Massacre Man. Massacre Man then unlatches a cuff on __V__'s hand as the machine starts and finsishes off Tic, and starts on Hammerfan a small bit of fluid gets in before Massacre Man snatches the wires out and __V__ draws one of his guns and empties his last bullet into Neverending's head

[massacre man]

Massacre Man helps __V__ off of the table

__V__: How did you change back?

Massacre Man: Change back from what?

__V__: A werewolf.

Massacre Man: What the fuck are you talking about?

__V__: I saw a werewolf with your initials.

Massacre Man (casually shrugging his shoulders): Wasn't me.

__V__: Hmm, get Hammerfan out of here.

Massacre Man: Fuck you, I'm not leaving.

__V__: But you have to get her out of here.

Massacre Man: No I don't, I don't even know her. Fuck if I'm gonna miss this.

The werewolf __V__ had spotted with the initals M.M. enters the room, it has a scar leading from it's stomach up to it's chest. Massacre Man and __V__ look at it, Massacre Man snaps to a conclusion.

Massacre Man: Was that the wolf you thought was me?

__V__: Yeah...

Massacre Man: I know who that is!

__V__: Who is it?

Massacre Man: This girl I met in the woods.

__V__: How do you know that?

Massacre Man: Because of this.

Massacre Man runs over and tears the scar on the wolf's stomach, it's intestines and stomach fall out onto the ground. It falls face-down. Massacre Man walks back to __V__

Massacre Man: So, where are the other people you were with?

__V__: That's one of them.

__V__ points to Hammerfan

__V__: I don't know about the other two.

Massacre Man: So that's the only person we have to worry about?

__V__: Disease is somewhere and I saw a cop too.

Massacre Man: Yeah, I saw a cop too.

__V__: Hammerfan, come on. We're gonna find everyone else and get you guys out of here.

Hammerfan remains on the table.

Massacre Man: I don't think she's going to listen.

__V__: Why?

Massacre Man: She's missing half of her fucking skull, she's probably legally retarded now.

__V__: Alright, you grab one arm, I'll grab the other.

__V__ and Massacre Man take Hammerfan and exit the room to find Disease and Ferretchuker. As soon as they exit Marya and Tic begin to transform.

[massacre man]

__V__ and Massacre Man make their ways around the mansion in search of the others, they search all of the rooms until they come across one with a giant lock on it, Fortunato can be heard moaning inside. Massacre Man begins smashing in the lock, __V__ keeps lookout, while he has his back turned one of the werewolves tries sneaking up on Massacre Man, it is directly behind him when the gun backfires sending Massacre Man's last shot through the head of the wolf,

Massacre Man: Holy shit, that was lucky...

__V__: Yeah...

Massacre Man and __V__ stare at the body for a moment before hearing the next wolf making it's way toward them, they snap back to attention and Massacre Man takes another swing. The lock comes undone, the two walk inside. Disease is tied to a beam coming from the middle of the room hardly conscious, Ferretchucker is tied to a chair with his eyelids sliced off facing a mirror, his head is held securely so he can't turn away, he is stuck staring at his deformed reflection, Fortunato is on the floor with his hands and feet tied as if Neverending didn't get the chance to do anything to him. __V__ pulls out 3 syringes

Massacre Man: Is that the stuff you used on me?

__V__: Yeah.

Massacre Man: Cool...

The other wolf from the table bursts in through the door and pins Massacre Man to the ground, __V__ leans Hammerfan on the wall and grabs the gun from Fortunato and holds it at his side

__V__ (at the werewolf: Hey buddy, I got somethin' for ya.

__V__ shoots the werewolf in the head, it falls over, Massacre Man stands up.

Massacre Man I owe you another one.

__V__: I'll remember that.

__V__ unties Fortunato, Massacre Man unties Ferretchucker and Fortunato stands up and gets Disease. Massacre Man takes his keys out and hands them to Fortunato.

Massacre Man: Here, my van's outside, get everyone out of here.

Fortunato: What about you two?

Massacre Man: Don't worry about us, we've got it under control.

__V__ (laughing): That was really cheesy.

Massacre Man: I know.

Cut to a few moments later, everyone is downstairs, Disease seems a bit more responsive and is holding Ferretchuker up, Fortunato is holding Hammerfan, they are right next to the exit, __V__ opens it, Ferretchucker pulls out his gun and shoots himself in the head. Everybody stands in an awkward silence, Massacre Man inches toward the body, he picks up the gun and pockets it.

__V__ (Stunned and unfocused): Go...

Fortunato and Disease walk out with Hammerfan, __V__ immediately slams the door behind them. Fortunato and Disease exit the gate through the pummeling rain, massive thunder, and blinding lightning and get to the van, which has had it's tires slashed and is covered in various scratches and bite marks

[massacre man]

Fortunato and Disease try to figure out an escape plan, dozens of glowing green eyes can be seen approaching him as leaves crunch and twigs snap. The two toss Hammerfan into the back of the van and then climb in after her, they close the doors and start discussing their options. Only their faces can be seen from the dim light given off by the moon shining into the windows on the back doors of the van

Fortunato: Ok, what do you think out odds will be if we run?

Disease: We'll get eaten.

Fortunato: How about if we fight.

Disease: We'll get eaten.

Fortunato: What do you think our odds are if we just sit here and hope for the best?

Disease: A lot better than being out in the open.

Fortunato: But what if help never comes?

Disease: I don't know, but I'm not going out there.

Lightning flashes, lighting up the entire van, there are several weapons scattered about on the wallof the van behind Disease, including a baseball bat, Massacre Man's trusty axe, a fire extinguisher, a chainsaw, and a handful of wooden stakes, Fortunato smiles, Disease looks at him with a strange look

Disease: What are you looking at?

Fortunato: That guy came prepared!

Disease: Who? __V__? He always is.

Fortunato: No, the fat one.

Disease: What makes you say that?

Fortunato pulls out his flashlight and shines it next to the wall, a few of the weapons are visible. Disease turns his head and looks at them.

Disease: Since you found them, you can go fight...

Fortunato: No problem.

Fortunato grabs the trusty axe and exits the van, Disease closes the doors to the van and starts it, turning on a blinker so he can see what's happening through the window of the door. He watches one of the wolves run at Fortunato who swings the axe only to have it lodge into the shoulder of the wolf who then runs off with it, Fortunato stands frightened as the wolves form a circle around him slowly getting closer and closer.

[massacre man]

__V__ and Massacre Man head back to the room in which they had seen Austin before, but he was gone. They search the rooms in the house and find nothing, they hear some stomps and growls coming from the attic of the old mansion, the two head toward the attic. They stand under the pull-down stairs, __V__ has his hand on the string ready to pull the stairs down.

__V__: Ready?

Massacre Man: Hold on...

Massacre Man picks up his shotgun so that he is holding his gun in one hand and Ferretchuker's in the other.

Massacre Man: Now I'm ready.

__V__: What's that for? It's not loaded.

Massacre Man: But still, it's a lot more intimidating to have a big fucking shotgun and a gun stolen off the corpse of a suicidal cop than just a gun stolen off the corpse of a suicidal cop.

__V__: Fine...

__V__ drops the stairs, the two walk up and peak around, they see nothing but an old table.

Massacre Man: There isn't anything up here.

A pair of glowing eyes open in the corner behind the two.

__V__: I guess you're right.

The wolf lets out a howl that echoes through and outside of the mansion. Cut to Fortunato surrounded by the wolves, they hear the howls and run toward the mansion so quickly they just look like blurs, after they're all gone Fortunato smiles in relief and starts walking back toward the van, another quick blur passes by in front of him, after the blur goes past him, Fortunato is holding his hand over his throat, Disease gets out and runs over to him.

Disease: What happened?

Fortunato moves his hand to reveal a huge slit in his throat spewing blood, Fortunato falls to his knees and lands face-down in the mud, Disease turns to get back into the van but the doors have swung shut and locked. Cut back to __V__ and Massacre Man, werewolves are surrounding them, there are a good 20 or so wolves. __V__ quickly empties his gun killing 5 of them with 6 bullets, Massacre Man manages to kill 2 with the same amount of bullets.

Massacre Man: You're so much better than me at this.

__V__: I know.

Massacre Man spots the wolf with the axe in it's shoulder. Massacre Man hits in the head with the shotgun and then picks up the axe, he decapitates the wolf and moves on swinging away at others, while his back his turned the final wolf charges at him, __V__ grabs the wolf's legs at just the right time and pulls it back away from him, breaking the wolf's legs, it turns around and bites __V__ on the arm, shoulder, and neck. Massacre Man takes off it's head.

Massacre Man: Are you alright?

__V__: Not really, no.

Massacre Man: Aren't you gonna use some of that shit that keeps you from changing?

__V__: All out.

Massacre Man: Shit...

__V__: Hey, listen. I'll be back.

Massacre Man: What?

__V__: I got something I have to do.

Massacre Man: What's that?

__V__: Don't worry about it.

__V__ looks and acts considerably weaker and slower, he stands up, grabs his duffle bag and leaves the attic.

Massacre Man: So... am I supposed to wait here?

__V__: If you want.

Massacre Man: Wait, what the fuck does that mean?

__V__ is already out of hearing range.

Massacre Man (to himself): Shit...

Massacre Man hears that all too familiar sound.

Massacre Man: Fuck...

Massacre Man picks up his axe as Zero runs for him, Massacre Man jumps out of the way and swings the axe, he misses, he and Zero keep repeating this pattern, Zero begins using the ceiling too, Zero sneaks up behind Massacre Man and stands still, almost as if he is waiting for Massacre Man's attention. Massacre Man quickly turns around and throws the shotgun at Zero, Zero evades it and jumps back toward the stairs, __V__ grabs him by the tail and tosses him at Massacre Man, Massacre Man then swings the axe, hitting Zero and sending him slamming against the wall with a gash in his side.

Massacre Man: Thanks...

__V__: I'll put on your tab.

__V__ winks, the two grin when the stop awkwardly.

Massacre Man: Did you just feel a breeze?

__V__: Yeah, that was kind of weird.

Austin's laugh can be heard through the attic, a wolf much bigger and more human-like than the others is standing behind Massacre Man holding the old table, it swings it sending Massacre Man flying through the wall and out of sight, the wolf tosses the table to the side.

__V__: So, just me and you?

The wolf lunges forward, __V__ punches it, the punch does nothing. Austin picks up __V__ and stares him in the face, snarling and breathing heavy. __V__ kicks it, landing on the ground, __V__ picks up the leg of the table and jabs it into the stomach of Austin, he then pulls it out and drops the duffle bag on the ground, he stuffs his final stick of dynamite into Austin's stomach, Austin picks up Zero again and starts to chew on his stomach, tearing his innards out. __V__ sighs in relief and pushes a button that came out of the dufflebag, a shot of the exterior of the mansion, Disease can be seen in the shot. The mansion explodes sending bits of the house flying everywhere, one smashes into the top of the van bending the doors enough to make them openable. Disease gets Hammerfan out and watches the house burn.

Cut forward to morning time, the rain has stopped, things seem peaceful. A close-up of Massacre Man's face covered in blood from a small wound on the sie of his head, his eyes open, a zoomout reveals him to be dangling by his jacket on one of the ridges from the hole the police had fallen into the previous night.

Massacre Man: Holy shit. I made it again. I made it again!

Disease shows up and helps Massacre Man up, he sees the charred house.

Massacre Man: Did __V__ ever come out?

Disease shakes his head.

Massacre Man approaches the rubble of the building.

Massacre Man: So long buddy, I'll miss ya.

Massacre Man and Disease stand next to the van.

Disease: I got a ride coming, you need one?

Massacre Man: No, I did what I had to, I'll walk.

Disease: You sure?

Massacre Man: Yeah, I've learned something over the past few days. Whenever I drive bad shit happens.

Massacre Man turns and starts to walk away, a car arrives, Disease puts Hammerfan in the back and gets in, the car drives off, a shot from the dashboard, the man driving is focused on the road, Disease has his head back on the seat sleeping, Hammerfan is transforming into a wolf herself. The last shot is of Zero returning to his cave.

CREDITS ROLL


After the credits, Massacre Man, __V__, Illdojo, Roderick Usher, and Zero are seen all surrounded by Jack-O-Lanterns with smiles on their faces, with no wounds, they are sitting at a table with a giant pile of candy in the middle of it splitting it up into equal piles when they all look at the camera and shout.



HAPPY HALLOWEEN HDC!

[massacre man]

HDC THE MOVIE - PART VI

Massacre Man stands outside of an old run-down house on a dark night, he has his trusty axe over his shoulder, he seems determined as he steps toward the house with a heavy breeze passing by blowing the fallen leaves about and making the trees sway. Massacre Man enters the house, it's dark but the room is still visible, he walks around the house and hears footsteps, he turns several times attempting to find the footsteps until he sees __V__ walking toward from across the room but his face is pale, his hair is black, and he has several cuts and scrapes on him. Massacre Man starts to step back, he backs into Illdojo who is the same as __V__, Massacre Man swings the axe, it just goes through Illdojo, not harming him at all. Massacre Man makes his way down a hall but is met by Roderick Usher. Illfojo and __V__ enter the hall and start inching toward him, Massacre Man hacks away at the wall and leaps out, when he lands on his feet he is suddenly back in the living room, his 3 dead friends suttound him and they all grab onto him. Cut to Massacre Man waking up realizing it was a dream, he is sitting in the back of a pick-up truck which suddenly stops, Massacre Man stands up and hops out of the back, reaches back into the bed of the truck and pulls his axe out, he walks to the cab and polks his head in the window to thank the driver.

Massacre Man: Thanks for the lift

The truck drives off, Massacre Man turns around and starts walking he has dried blood all over his body and is covered in various cuts and scrapes, limping a bit, he arrives at a sign and looks at it, it reads "WELCOME TO SHADY SIDE" Massacre Man smiles.

Massacre Man: Finally...

Massacre Man begins to walk into the town.

[massacre man]

Massacre Man walks down the main road of the town looking at the small gas stations and convenience stores that litter it. He makes a right and enters a neighborhood, the houses he passes are all nice, two-story houses with in-ground swimming pools and large yards surrounded by trees, after a few moments he takes a left, the houses here are closer together, but they're still pretty nice, there is an abandoned house that looks exactly like the one from Massacre Man's dream, he stops and stares at it for a second then shakes his head and moves on, he makes a right onto a street with a sign reading "Grove Street", he stops at a blue one-story house, he walks up the stairs in front and turns the knob on the door, it's locked, Massacre Man sighs.

Massacre Man: Left the keys in the fucking van.

Massacre Man looks over and spots that one of the front windows is opened slightly, he grins and walks over to it, punches a hole in the screen and tears it out from the window, he slides the window open and pulls himself inside, he closes the window and reaches to the table left of him and turns on the lamp, he turns and looks at his living room, it isn't very well-kept there are issues of SPIN and Fangoria magazines with several old Tales From The Crypt comic books on top of them, the TV has a stack of horror and comedy DVDs on top, Massacre Man sits on his couch, something can be heard moving in another room, Massacre Man smiles when he hears the sound, a black lab walks out and jumps on the couch and lays down next to him, Massacre Man pats the dog on the head.

Massacre Man: Good girl.

Massacre Man leans over and picks up the remote for the TV and turns it on. The TV narrator's voice can be heard.

Narrator: And that's it for our Tales From The Crypt marathon! Up next is our Uwe Boll marathon!

Massacre Man: FUCK!

Massacre Man throws the remote at the wall and it breaks in half, the sound of glass breaking can be heard in the room the dog came from, Massacre Man quickly stands up and grabs his axe, he eases toward the room and looks inside.

[massacre man]

Massacre Man enters the room, it is dark, he reaches up for the ceiling fan and turns on the light, a man is laying on the bed with his eyes closed, a beer bottle is broken on the ground, Massacre Man taps his shoulder, he wakes up.

Massacre Man: What are you doing in Roderick's room?

Dudeman: My mom was being a bitch so I came to stay here.

Massacre Man: How did you get in?

Dudeman: The side door.

Massacre Man: How did you get in the side door, I locked it.

Dudeman: I owe you a new doorknob... Where are Rod and Dojo?

Massacre Man: They di... moved out.

Dudeman: But they left their stuff.

Massacre Man: Yeah... weird, huh?

Dudeman: Yeah. Rod's fiance is gonna be pissed tomorrow.

Massacre Man has a sudden shocked look on his face

Massacre Man: Shit... I fucking forgot about that.

Dudeman: How? You were gonna be the best man.

Massacre Man: I've had a lot of shit going on.

Dudeman: What shit? You went to look at some shitty camp site.

Massacre Man: Just... a lot of shit.

Dudeman: Oh...

Dudeman stares off into space then looks back at Massacre Man

Dudeman: You got any beer?

Massacre Man: There's some in the mini-fridge in Illdojo's room, take all of it.

Dudeman gets up and walks out of the room and goes toward one with a closed door, he shouts back.

Dudeman: You're sure he won't be pissed that I'm taking it?

Massacre Man: I don't think he'll care.

Illdojo appears again haunting Massacre Man

Illdojo: Asshole...

Massacre Man ignores him. Dudeman comes back out with a beer in hand.

Dudeman: So, does Rod's fiance know he left?

Massacre Man: Nope.

Dudeman: Are you gonna tell her?

Massacre Man: Yeah, I guess.

Dudeman: When?

Massacre Man: I guess tomorrow.

Dudeman: So you're gonna wait until she's in the dress and at the end of the aisle with that bright smile on her face?

Massacre Man: Well, I don't know where she lives.

Dudeman: Then you should... let's go outside, I wanna smoke a cigarette.

Massacre Man and Dudeman walk out the door and sit on the steps, Massacre Man's neighbor, Jenna26 is outside checking her mail. She sees Massacre Man and shouts over to him.

Jenna26: Hey there!

Massacre Man: Hi.

Jenna26: So, are you ready for the big day tomorrow?

Massacre Man looks puzzled

Massacre Man: How did you know about Rod's wedding?

Jenna26: I was talking about Halloween, Rod's getting married?

Massacre Man: Kinda.

Jenna26: He would set the date on Halloween...

[massacre man]

Jenna26 returns inside of her house, it is extemely well-kept, she walks to the kitchen which is located on the side on the side of the house furthest from Massacre Man's, there is a door leading outside in the kitchen, Jenna pours herself a glass of water and walks out of the kitchen, the house next door can be seen through the door amd a man is watching her from a window in that house, he has a devlish grin on his face, cut back to Massacre Man and Dudeman back inside of Massacre Man's house

Massacre Man: So... are you staying here tonight?

Dudeman: Yeah, is that cool?

Massacre Man: Sure, I'm going to bed now, so... TV's yours. Good night.

Dudeman: Peace man.

Massacre Man walks to his bedroom, the dog follows, when Massacre Man enters his room, it is too dark to see anything in his room, he gets on the bed and the dog gets up with him, Massacre Man shortly falls asleep after laying down, he is having a dream again, it is black and white with no sound. Massacre Man is now in the garage of the abandoned house, a oaint can falls in front of him, he leaps back and notices the paint can fall through the floor leaving waves almost like the floor was made of water. Massacre Man sticks his hand in the spot where the can fell, his hand goes through the floor, when he pulls it up his hand is covered in blood, another hand reaches up and pulls him underneath, he is in a big pool of water being pulled down __V__ who is gushing blood from his stomach area, Massacre Man pulls himself loose and swims back up to the top but the top is solid and he is stuck inside, he looks around and notices that the bodies of Illdojo and Roderick Usher are floating against the ceiling, Massacre Man starts to bang on the solid roof over him but nothing happens, when he looks back down __V__ is coming toward him quickly with his hand out. Massacre Man wakes up in his bed covered in sweat, it is morning, the dog is looking at him.

Massacre Man (frustrated): Shit... I cannot keep doing this.

[massacre man]

Massacre Man sits up and looks at his clock, it is 6:34 AM, he puts his head in his hands and puts his head back in the pillow.

Massacre Man (To himself): The wedding's in 10 hours!

Massacre Man gets up and walks out into the living room, their are beer bottles scattered all over the floor, Massacre Man looks around and then turns back into the hallway, he slides the door to Roderick's room open and then walks to Illdojo's, he opens it and sees Dudeman asleep on his bed. Massacre Man walks back out into the living room and then to the kitchen, he goes into a small closet on the right side of the kitchen, he picks up a black Hefty garbage bag, goes back to Illdojo's room and nudges his shoulder, Dudeman doesn't get up, Massacre Man then kicks him which makes him sit up.

Massacre Man: Clean your fucking mess up.

Dudeman: What?

Massacre Man: You left a bunch of fucking beer bottles on my floor, clean them up.

Dudeman: You do it, I got a hangover.

Massacre Man reaches over and raises the blinds, letting the sun pour in, Dudeman covers his eyes.

Dudeman: What the fuck, man? I said I had a hangover.

Massacre Man: And I said pick up the fucking bottles.

Dudeman: Dude, you're starting to act like my mom.

Massacre Man: Does that mean you're gonna leave?

Dudeman: Fine, I'll go, fuck you man.

Dudeman gets up and stumbles to the door, he opens it and walks out, Massacre Man starts to pick up all of the bottles, cut to Dudeman outside walking past Jenna26's house covering his eyes, he doesn't even notice Jenna's neighbor from the otherside standing right outside of her window watching her.

[massacre man]

Massacre Man steps outside and tosses the bag of bottles into the trash can and returns inside, his dog runs out to him and looks up at him wagging it's tail

Massacre Man: What is it, girl?

The dog starts to jump up and down.

Massacre Man: You gotta go potty?

The dog runs to the side door and hops up and down again, Massacre Man reaches for the doorknob, it is on the floor because of Dudeman, Massacre Man opens the door and the dog runs outside, Massacre Man turns back around and goes back to his room, he stands over his bed.

Massacre Man (Tired and to himself: Let's try this again.

Massacre Man lays down and falls asleep, he has another silent, black and white dream, this time he is in the bathroom of the abandoned house, the shower is running, steam pouring out, Massacre Man tries to exit the room but as soon as he reaches for the doorknob it vanishes and the doorway just becomes another part of the wall. Massacre Man is beginning to sweat, he can't see anything due to the steam surrounding him, suddenly the shape of a person begins to form in front of him, it is Illdojo, Massacre Man backs toward the door and the room morphs to a bedroom, he is standing by the bed, a hand grabs his foot and pulls him under the bed, as soon he gets pulled under he is in a small, dark space, a light turns on and he is cramped into a closet against the wall face-to-face with __V__ who is leaned against the door. Massacre Man then wakes up again, sweating. He looks at the clock, it reads 4:30. Massacre Man behins to panic.

Massacre Man: FUCK!

He gets up and rushes around, he grabs a suit out of his closet, he puts it on his bed then stops.

Massacre Man: Wait... should I wear a suit?

Cut to the backyard, the dog is sitting on the steps waiting to come inside, Massacre Man opens the door in full suit, his hair is wet like he had just showered. He walks out of the door then stops.

Massacre Man: That's fucking great, no fucking van.

Massacre Man rushes down the street going the same path Dudeman did, he is in such a hurry he doesn't notice Jenna's neighbor is now staring through the front window. Cut to Dudeman sitting inside of his house watching the History Channel. There is a knock at his door. He gets up and opens it, Massacre Man is standing outside.

Massacre Man: I need to use your car.

Dudeman: Fuck you.

Massacre Man: Please, I'll buy you beer, pot, whatever. I have to get to this fucking wedding.

Dudeman: I need my car.

Massacre Man: You don't have a license.

Dudeman: My mom's bitching at me right now.

Massacre Man: Your mom isn't home, just give me the fucking keys.

Dudeman: Fuck you, you kicked me out of your house.

Massacre Man: You can move in, you can have Illdojo's room. Just give me the fucking keys.

Dudeman: Is the reception open bar?

Massacre Man: I think so... yeah.

Dudeman: Alright, let's go.

Massacre Man and Dudeman get into a very small car, Massacre Man drives to a nice, well-kept church, they walk inside and sit in the seats, there is nothing going on, everyone looks frustrated and impatient, Illdojo and Roderick Usher appear in the seats behind them, Freak walks over and sits next to Massacre Man and Dudeman, he is wearing the same suit as Massacre Man.

Freak: This is some crazy shit, huh?

Massacre Man (Curious): What's that?

Freak: The bride and the groom being no-shows.

Roderick Usher: At least I had a reason...

Massacre Man (To Roderick): Maybe she had one too...

Dudeman and Freak: What?

Massacre Man: Nothing.

Freak: Ok so, we've got the Groom's men, you, me, and Angra. But where's Illdojo?

Massacre Man: I have no idea...

Dudeman: Maybe they ran off with eachother.

Massacre Man hits Dudeman in the chest.

Massacre Man: Don't be a dick.

Angra stands up in front of the group of people.

Angra: Ok folks, news I hate to break, but... both the bride and groom are no-shows. There's another wedding soon booked for today, so we're gonna have to ask that everyone leaves.

The people stand up and begin to exit, the bride's maids are still in the back room where they were waiting to be brought out. The first one exits, cut to Massacre Man with Dudeman and Freak

Freak: Stay here, wait for Angra.

Massacre Man nods, he looks forward, his eyes widen and his jaw drops. Dudeman notices.

Dudeman: What?

Massacre Man: I think I did that...

Dudeman: Did what?

Massacre Man: That...

Massacre Man points to the front of the room, revealing the last bride's maid leaving to be pregnant.

[massacre man]

Massacre Man gets up and walks over to the bride's maid, ABnormal, he stops in front of her.

Massacre Man: Uh... Hi...

ABnormal: Hi.

Massacre Man: Um... is that?

Massacre Man clears his throat and points at ABnormal's stomach

Massacre Man: Is that mine?

ABnormal: Yeah.

Massacre Man starts to panic, he speaks quick and breathes heavily.

Massacre Man: Well, how... Why didn't you tell me? I mean I'd like to have known.

ABnormal: I didn't know how to get ahold of you.

Massacre Man: I'm at the same fucking bar every night! You're a bride's maid for my best friend's fucking fiance. You had no way to get ahold of me?

ABnormal: You never tried talking to me.

Massacre Man: Because I wasn't pregnant with your fucking child!

ABnormal: Why do you all of a sudden want to talk to me?

Massacre Man: Because you're having my fucking kid!

The crowd of people still in the building start to stare, Dudeman and Freak grab Massacre Man and pull him out of the church. They are in the parking lot, Massacre Man is sitting down by Dudeman's car with his head between his knees.

Dudeman: Are you alright?

Massacre Man: What the fuck do you think?

Freak leans down next to him.

Freak: Come on, let's go to the bar, take your mind off of it.

Massacre Man: Shut the fuck up. I dont' want to get drunk. I want to talk to the mother of my fucking child.

Freak: Want me to go get her?

Massacre Man: Yeah.

Freak: Alright buddy, just hold on one second.

Freak runs back inside, Dudeman sits next to Massacre Man.

Dudeman: Are you sure it's yours?

Massacre Man: She told me it was.

Dudeman: Damn dude, that sucks.

Massacre Man: No shit.

Freak returns with ABnormal, Massacre Man stands up, he looks ABnormal in the eyes.

Massacre Man: Look...

Dudeman and Freak are standing right next to them listening, Massacre Man turns to them.

Massacre Man: Could you guys just... fuck off for a minute?

Freak: Sure, come on.

Freak and Dudeman walk back inside of the church while Massacre Man and ABnormal talk outside. The focus stays on Dudeman and Freak, Angra joins them.

Angra: Do either of you know the deal with Rod?

Dudeman: He left with Illdojo.

Angra: Where?

Dudeman and Freak stand silent.

Angra: What about Novakru, it's weird they both miss their big day.

Dudeman: I have no clue. Are you guys really going to the bar.

Freak: I guess, the reception is probably as good as cancelled now.

Dudeman: Damn it, I was excited about the open bar.

Cut back to Massacre Man with ABnormal, they seem to be done with their conversation, both seem calm.

Massacre Man: Alright, so you'll come to my house tonight?

ABnormal: Yeah, see you tonight.

Massacre Man: So... bye.

They both stand awkward, not positive on how to say goodbye to eachother, they both nod and walk their seperate ways, ABnormal gets in a car and Massacre Man walks back inside of the church, as soon as he enters the door he turns pale and begins looking worried again. He stands by Angra, Freak, and Dudeman, they turn their heads to him.

Massacre Man: Shit...

[massacre man]

A flash to 9 months earlier, Dudeman, Freak, Angra, Illdojo, and Roderick Usher are sitting at a table inside of a bar with mugs filled to the top. Illdojo's and Freak's eyes are a bit red, Roderick hasn't had anything to drink, Dudeman has the most beers in front of him but doesn't seem to even have a buzz, Angra has his face flat on the table. Massacre Man is in the background at the bar talking ABnormal, what they are saying can't be heard. The folks at the table are having a conversation.

Roderick Usher: Anyway... The movie's called "Hatchet", it sounds awesome. it comes out in September.

Illdojo: Shut up. We came her to get drunk, why aren't you drinking.

Roderick Usher: Can't, big day tomorrow.

Illdojo: Why's that?

Roderick Usher: I'm proposing to Novakru.

Freak: Bullshit!

Illdojo: Why? You've known her for like a month.

Roderick Usher: I don't know. It just feels...

Illdojo and Freak look over at Massacre Man.

Freak: Shut up for a minute...

Illdojo: How long do you think until she slaps him?

Freak: Soon...

Massacre Man and ABnormal start to walk out of the bar, neither of them can stand on their own, they are leaning against eachother for support, Roderick Usher, Illdojo and Freak get up and run over to them, Dudeman grabs Freak's beer and finishes it. Freak stands in front of the door, keeping the two from leaving.

Illdojo: Give me your keys.

Massacre Man (slurred and hard to make out): Why should I give you my fucking keys, it's my fucking van...

Illdojo: Because you're drunk.

Massacre Man: No, fuck you. You're drunk.

Roderick Usher reaches into Massacre Man's pocket and takes the keys out, Massacre Man doesn't notice.

Roderick Usher: Alright, fine. Let them go.

Roderick winks at Illdojo and holds up the keys.

Illdojo: Alright, there's no persuading you. Go ahead.

Illdojo steps out of their way. Massacre Man and ABnormal walk out of the door.

Freak: Shouldn't we have kept them inside?

Illdojo: Don't worry about it. As soon as he realizes his keys are gone they'll come back inside.

Freak: Alright...

Freak and Illdojo walk back to the table, every mug is empty and is now in front of Dudeman.

[massacre man]

Back to the present, it is night time, kids are trick-or-treating, the neighborhood is well-decorated and everyone seems to be in the Halloween spirit, except for Massacre Man who is sitting on his couch, waiting for ABnormal to arrive, he is so nervous he is shaking and staring at the TV that isn't turned on. There's a knock at the door. Massacre Man stands up.

Massacre Man: Alright... here it goes...

Massacre Man opens the door, ABnormal is standing there.

Massacre Man: Come in, come in. Sit down.

ABnormal: Thanks.

ABnormal walks in and sits down, Massacre Man stares blankly at her stomach.

ABnormal: Are you ok?

Massacre Man snaps back to attention.

Massacre Man: Yeah um... you want something to drink?

ABnormal: No I'm...

A trick-or-treater knocks at the door.

Massacre Man: One second.

Massacre Man turns around and picks up the bowl of candy from the table and opens the door.

Kid: Trick or treat!

The kid is dressed as a werewolf.

Massacre Man: That's not funny...

Massacre Man drops a piece of candy in his bag and closes the door.

Massacre Man: Where were we?

ABnormal: Nowhere.

Massacre Man: Right... so uh, what have you been doing all this time? How have you been making a living.

ABnormal: I stay with my parents. I don't have a job, do you?

Massacre Man (Confidently): Yes, I do.

ABnormal: Doing what?

Massacre Man (Disappointed): Cashier at K-Mart.

ABnormal giggles.

Massacre Man: Fuck you, at least I have a... wait, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you. I didn't mean to.

ABnormal: It's alright.

Massacre Man: But what I wanted to ask you, do you...

Another trick-or-treater knocks at the door, this kid is a zombie, Massacre Man gives him a piece of candy and turns around.

Massacre Man: But did you...

Another trick-or-treater knocks.

Massacre Man: For fuck's sake!

Massacre Man swings the door open and throws the bowl of candy out into his yard. He closes the door.

Massacre Man: Did you want to stay here?

ABnormal: I don't know.

Massacre Man: I mean, the house is all payed off, my friend's died and I don't have anyone else staying here... I just said my friends died, didn't I?

ABnormal: Yeah...

Massacre Man: Shit... I uh... didn't mean it. They just moved. Other shit going through my mind ya know... I'm having a kid...

ABnormal's eyes widen.

Massacre Man: I didn't mean died, they just moved, stop looking at me like that.

ABnormal: My water broke.

Massacre Man: What!?

ABnormal: The baby's coming...

Massacre Man: Shit!

Massacre Man picks up his phone and tries to call a paramedic, after a few moments he hangs up.

Massacre Man: They're coming so uh... make yourself comfortable.

Another trick-or-treater kncoks at the door.

Massacre Man: WE DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING CANDY!

[massacre man]

Massacre Man paces around the room awaiting the paramedics, cut away to next door, Jenna walks outside with a full trash bag. she takes it to the trashcan and drops it in, her neighbor taps her on the shoulder, she turns around.

Jenna26: Oh, hi Austin...

Austin: Hey, how's it going?

Jenna26: Good, can I help you?

Austin: Oh, no, I was just on my porch getting swarmed over by the trick-or-treaters. I saw someone over 13 I could talk to so I put the kids on the honor system for a few minutes to have a chat.

Jenna26: Tell me about it, you'd think the parents would want to keep their kids inside with all of the recent disease outbreaks.

Austin: Tell me about it, if we had kids I wouldn't want them at times like this.

Jenna26: If WE had kids?

Austin: Yeah... oh! I mean um... our own seperate children.

Jenna26: Right, how silly of me.

The two stand in an awkward silence while Austin gives Jenna a creepy grin.

Jenna26: Well, I guess I should get back inside and tend to my bowl duties/

Austin laughs

Austin: I guess I should get back too, so long.

Jenna26 turns around and walks back inside, Austin picks up the trash bag and empties it into the ground, he walks back toward Jenna's house. Cut to Massacre Man with ABnormal who is laying on the couch with her feet propped on the table in front of it.

ABnormal: It hurts!

Massacre Man: I know!

ABnormal: How the fuck do you know!

Massacre Man: Look, at least you aren't getting your fucking eye gouged out or your feet stuck in a fucking blender!

ABnormal: What are you talking about!

Massacre Man: Nothing, just forget I said that... I think I see the head!

Cut back to Jenna26 sitting at her computer, the door behind her is closed, it slowly slides open, Austin is standing in the doorway with the bag in his hand. Cut back to Massacre Man with ABnormal.

Massacre Man: Alright, alright, I think it's almost out.

ABnormal pushes, something comes out and hits the ground but it can't be seen. Massacre Man's eyes widen and his jaw drops.

Massacre Man: What the fuck is that?

[massacre man]

Massacre Man stares down at what's emerged from ABnormal's body... an egg.

ABnormal (drained and exhausted): I want to see it.

Massacre Man: No you don't.

ABnormal: What's wrong?

Massacre Man: It's a fucking egg...

ABnormal: What?

Massacre Man: You layed a fucking egg.

The egg begins to crack, Massacre Man watches it, it hatches there are 5 small black creatures inside, they have scorpion-like tales sticking out of their backs, 4 of the creatures exit the house through the screen Massacre Man punched a hole into. The other one spots Massacre Man and runs at him, Massacre Man kicks it across the room, his dog comes out, the creature then motion towards the dog, Massacre Man stomps on it, crushing it. He grabs his trusty axe and walks out of the door. Cut to Austin standing directly behind Jenna26, he puts the bag on her heard, one of the creatures can be seen entering the room through the doorway, it sticks Austin in the leg with it's tail, Austin let's go of the bag and turns toward the creature, he then stands straight and turns around, he pulls Jenna out of the chair and pushes her to the ground, the creature then sticks her, Jenna stands with the same emotionless face as Austin does. Back to Massacre Man outside of his house, he runs inside of Jenna's house just as the creature jumps out of the window.

Massacre Man: Have you seen any... fuck it, you'd know what I'm talking about if you saw them, nevermind.

Massacre Man turns back around, Austin grabs his shoulder.

Massacre Man: I'm trying to do something.

Austin pushes Massacre Man against the wall, another one of the creatures comes insisde, Massacre Man kicks Austin so that he falls over onto the creature, it is slowed down but not killed, when Massacre Man gets back outside the ambulance is driving away, one of the creatures sitting on the back of it. One of them is flattened on the road as if it had been underneath of the ambulance. Massacre Man goes back inside to find only his dog sitting on the couch and the empty shell of the egg on the floor.

[massacre man]

Massacre Man stands in the middle of the street, paranoid of what will happen to him.

Massacre Man: OK, two of them are dead, that leaves three.

A couple of trick-or-treaters walk toward him with masks over their faces.

Massacre Man: Run home, now.

The kids grab ahold of Massacre Man and try stopping him from moving so he can be poked, but they are too small. Massacre Man knocks the two to the ground, he begins running down the street to Dudeman's house, the door to a few houses swing open and people walk out with the blank expressions on their faces.

Massacre Man (To himself): Where the fuck did they come from?

Flashback to 9 months earlier, Massacre Man and ABnormal are outside of the bar. Still leaning against eachother for support, Massacre Man walks toward his van.

ABnormal (Clearly drunk): You can't drive, you're drunk!

Massacre Man (Also drunk: You're right... let's walk.

Massacre Man and ABnormal begin to walk, they stop.

Massacre Man: I'm so drunk I forgot I didn't drink. I can drive.

ABnormal: OK.

Massacre Man: Wait here...

Massacre Man walks inside. ABnormal falls over and hits her head on the floor of the ground of the alley next to the bar, ABnormal lay unconcsious, a creature that resembles the ones from the egg stands over her, it sticks it's tail between her legs, tearing through her pants, it pumps something into her and climbs up the side of the building. Cut to Massacre Man inside of the bar, everyone at the table is playing darts so Massacre Man gets the keys undetected and walks back outside. The morning after that, they are at ABnormal's house, Massacre Man wakes up first, he looks over at ABnormal, smiles like he's proud of himself then gets out of bed, fully clothed, even his shoes and walks outside of the door, his van is parked right in front of the porch, he gets in and drives off. Back to present times. Massacre Man is knocking on Dudeman's door, his car is in the driveway but nobody answers, he gets in Dudeman's car and opens the glove box, he pulls out the set of keys he had earlier, he backs out and drives to the bar from 9 months earlier. He tosses his axe in the back and walks inside, Dudeman and Freak are sitting at the table, they are also still in their suits. They look at him.

Dudeman: What are you doing here?

Massacre Man: It wasn't mine.

Freak: What wasn't yours?

Massacre Man: The baby, it wasn't mine.

Freak: She had the baby?

Massacre Man: Yeah, it wasn't mine.

Freak: How do you know?

Dudeman: It was black, wasn't it?

Massacre Man: ... What? It wasn't human.

Dudeman: Damn dude, that ugly?

Massacre Man: No, it was a monster.

Dudeman: Poor ugly kid.

Massacre Man: It wasn't a fucking kid! It was a fucking monster, like Predator!

Freak: Are you alright?

Massacre Man: No I'm not alright, my two best fucking friends are dead, and I'm trying to explain to my two shitty fucking replacement best friends that my girlfriend gave birth to an egg!

Freak: Dead?

Massacre Man: Yeah, I'm not gonna lie anymore, Rod and Illdojo are dead.

Freak: What? How?

Massacre Man: Well, Rod got a drill shoved in his eye and I'm not sure what happened to Illdojo, but I haven't seen him in flesh and bone since like Saturday.

Freak: What do you mean in flesh and bone?

Massacre Man: Long story.... You guys wanna help me?

Dudeman: Help you what, man?

Massacre Man: Kill these things.

Freak: What things?

Massacre Man: The things that popped out of the fucking egg! How many times do I have to say it... Get in Dudeman's car, we're going to the hospital.

Dudeman and Freak get up and follow Massacre Man outside, they get in the car and drive off, back inside of the bar, Angra walks out of the bathroom, looks around for his friends then at the bartender.

Angra: Where did everyone go?

[massacre man]

Cut to the ambulance driving toward the hospital, the paramedics, Despare and Disease are sitting in the driver and passenger seat respectively. ABnormal is in the back, sedated.

Disease: She's hot...

Despare: She's having a baby...

Disease: Doesn't change the fact she's hot.

Despare: That's kind of gross...

Disease: What is? Respecting the female form?

Despare: No... being attracted to a pregnant woman.

Disease: Oh, so if you got someone pregnant you'd just up and leave them?

Despare: No, I...

Disease: No, I get you, you aren't man enough to take up for your responsibilities, hear ya loud and clear... douchebag.

Despare: I'd stay if my girlfriend was having a baby.

Disease: You're one of those types, give her false hope then when the baby comes out it's "Fuck you, I have another family to start in Waldorf."

Despare: No, I'm talking about being turned on by someone pregnant.

Disease: Why? It's not like it makes you a pedophile... it might mean you like fat chicks though.

Despare: So does that mean you like fat chicks?

Disease: What, you got something against fat chicks now too?

Despare: No... I...

Disease: You're a real piece of shit ya know that? First you'd leave a girl for being pregnant and then you say you hate people just because they have some extra baggage. Stop talking to me.

Despare: I thought we were friends...

Disease: I was just fucking with you.

Despare: Oh...

Disease: Yeah, I know you'd never get a girl pregnant and leave her, you'd have to find a girl willing to have sex with you first.

Despare: What's that supposed to mean?

Disease: It means you're repulsive.

Disease leans his head against the seat and sighs.

Disease: You just missed the turn!

Despare: God damn it...

Despare turns around quickly and turns on the siren, the back doors to the ambulance open. Despare stops, he and Disease get out and the small creature climbs into the ambulance before the two make it around the corners, they close the door and get back in, the ambulance starts moving again, the creature starts walking toward them, Despare switches the sirens back on and floors it, the creature is thrown backward, it gets up again and starts walking again. The ambulance arrives at the hospital a few moments later, Disease and Despare walk around back, they pull out ABnormal's stretcher which the creature has latched himself onto the bottom of.

[massacre man]

Massacre Man, Dudeman, and Freak are inside of the car stopped at a traffic light. Massacre Man has his eyes focused on the light shaking, awaiting what will happen next. Someone with the same blank stare as before approaches the car, he reaches into the open driver's side window and starts pulling Massacre Man out , Freak, who is on the passenger side starts pulling Massacre Man back in, Dudeman gets out of the backseat and walks around, he pulls the man off of Massacre Man who then gets out and returns the favor by pulling the man off of Dudeman, Massacre Man looks back at the cars beeping their horns.

Massacre Man: Shit...

One of the small creatures is making it's way down the road, Massacre Man pushes the man to the ground, Dudeman steps on hid head, crushing it. The creature stands next to Dudeman's leg, Massacre Man picks it up by the tail and starts to slam it onto the hood of a pickup truck stopped behind them, the driver, Gorephobia, gets out.

Gorephobia: Just what do you think you're doin'?

Massacre Man looks at the bloody mess that once was one of the creatures from it's tail in his hand.

Massacre Man: Sorry...

When Massacre Man looks back up his face is met with the butt of a shotgun, he is knocked unconscious. He is once again dreaming himself inside of the old abandoned house in black and white with no sound, he peeks around, he is in the attic. There is nothing out of the ordinary, he tries opening the door to exit, when he does the entire floor gives away and he falls onto the bottom floor of the house, he is laying on the driveway outside of the house, __V__ stands over him. Massacre Man wakes up tied by his feet to the back of the truck on a rocky path in the middle of the woods. Gorephobia is standing over him in a manner similar to __V__ in the dream he had just had..

Gorephobia: Well, look who woke up!

Massacre Man: Wh.. what the fuck are you doing?

Gorephobia: You never, ever do that to someone's truck when they ain't never done nothin' to you!

Massacre Man: I didn't mean to, dome the fuck on! I'll pay for reapairs, just get the fucking rope off.

Gorephobia: No, I have a better idea, we're gonna have a good ol' fashioned fag drag!

Massacre Man: A what?

Gorephobia: Fag drag! You figure it out.

Massacre Man: But I'm not a fag!

Gorephobia: Shut up!

Gorephobia throws an empty glass jar toward Massacre Man's face, but it instead breaks next to his head, his bad accuracy proved he was drunk.

Gorephobia: Now just wait here, I'm gonna go get a refill then we can get this bad boy on!

Massacre Man: Fuck off!

Gorephobia: Fuck you, faggot.

Gorephobia walks away, Massacre Man tries to work his way out of the rope wrapped around his hands, Angra approaches him, crouched down, he holds his finger to single Massacre Man to be quiet as he unties him, the two stand up and move into the surrounding forest.

Massacre Man (Whispering): Where did you come from?

Angra (Whispering): I followed you after you left me at the bar.

Massacre Man (Whispering): Where are Freak and Dudeman?

Angra (Whispering): They ran drove away after you got trapped.

Massacre Man (Whispering): I mean, where are they literally right now?

Angra (Whispering): Well...

A shot of Freak sitting inside of the car with the engine running, he is waiting for Angra to come back with Massacre Man, cut to Dudeman walking around the back of the house, every pocket he has stuffed with a moonshine bottle, every step he takes causes a sound of glass bumping together can be heard, he meets up with Massacre Man and Angra in the woods.

Massacre Man (Whispering): Alright, so why the fuck couldn't you guys just help me then instead of running?

Angra (Whispering): Because he had a shotg...

The sound of a shotgun blast is heard almost at the same exact time as Angra's head bursts with bits of skull and brain splattering over Massacre Man and Dudeman.

Gorephobia (Yelling from his truck): Who took my moonshine!?

Massacre Man and Dudeman start running while Freak drives toward them. Gorephobia turns his truck around and drives toward them, Dudeman trips and hits the ground

Dudeman: Shit!

All of the glass inside of pockets shattered, every piece poking into him, Massacre Man helps him up, tosses him into the back of the car and gets in the passenger seat.

Massacre Man: Go!

Freak starts to drive, it narrowly swurves out of the path of the pickup truck, they keep moving down the path, Massacre Man looks ahead.

Massacre Man: We... are... fucked...

The thing that scares Massacre Man is shown, gigantic group of blank-faced people are walking toward them.

[massacre man]

Gorephobia drives in front of the car and jumps out, completely oblivious to the group of folks behind him, he shoots through the windshield, it misses Freak and Massacre Man.

Massacre Man (To Dudeman): Did he hit you?

Dudeman: No!

Massacre Man: Alright...

Freak stomps on the gas pedal, he tosses Gorephobia back against his truck, all of the infected people gather over him wrestling him to the ground, a few shots go off from his gun, a few of the people fall over dead.

Massacre Man: Go! Go! Go!

Freak drives around the people and gets back on the road, they continue on their path to the hospital. Massacre Man suddenly sits up, alarmed.

Massacre Man: Wait, go right.

Freak: Why?

Massacre Man: Just fucking go right.

Freak turns right, they are in a parking lot of a K-Mart.

Massacre Man: Stop in the middle of the lot in case we have to run.

Freak stops the car in the middle of the lane, facing the K-Mart.

Massacre Man: Come inside with me.

Freak looks back and points toward Dudeman.

Freak: What about him?

Massacre Man: I got a job for him. Dudeman, you think your safe to drive?

Dudeman: I guess.

Massacre Man: Alright, me and Freak are going inside to get weapons and shit, we need you to watch the car, can you do that?

Dudeman: Yeah.

Massacre Man: Great.

Massacre Man gets out with Freak, opens the back door and puts Dudeman in the driver's seat.

Massacre Man: Leave the engine running, if you see anyone just start driving.

Dudeman: Alright.

Massacre Man: Great, I owe you a 6-pack buddy, see ya in a few.

Dudeman: Are you serious?

Massacre Man: Sure.

Dudeman: Awesome.

Massacre Man and Freak walk to the door of the K-Mart, Massacre Man stops.

Massacre Man: Come to the liquor store next door with me real quick.

Cut to Massacre Man and Freak walking out of the liquor store, Massacre Man is holding a 6-pack of beer, he goes to the car and hands it to Dudeman.

Dudeman: Thanks.

Massacre Man: Wait until we get home, don't drink and drive.

Massacre Man and Freak walk back to the K-Mart, they enter and are greeted by an employee behind the only open check-out counter.

Ferretchucker: Hey Massacre Man!

Massacre Man (Not thrilled to see him): Oh... hey. You're working on Halloween?

Ferretchuker: Yep, I had friends but all of my friends cancelled.

Massacre Man: That sucks.

Massacre Man starts walking away, Freak follows. Ferretchucker quickly runs and catches up to them.

Ferretchuker: So um... how has your week off been?

Massacre Man (sarcastically): ...Uneventful.

Ferretchucker: Oh, just been hangin' at home?

Massacre Man: Yeah, went some places with a few friends.

Ferretchucker: Did you ever go check out that place your friend wanted to honeymoon?

Massacre Man (Curious): How did you know about that?

Ferretchucker: I read the comment conversation you guys had on MySpace. I tried to add you quite a few times.

Massacre Man (sarcastically): Oh, weird. I never got any of the requests.

Ferretchucker: Yeah, maybe you can send me one. Oh yeah, guess what.

Massacre Man (annoyed): What?

Ferretchucker: I got a new Ferret.

Massacre Man is about to reply when Freak interrupts.

Freak: Dude, we're trying to get something, so could you just... LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE?

Ferretchucker: Sure... see ya Friday.

Ferretchucker walks back behind the counter.

Freak: So... what are we here for?

Massacre Man: Weapons.

Freak: Cool.

Cut to Massacre Man and Freak standing in the gardening section in front of the garden sheers and hoes.

Massacre Man: Well, I want something that will just get the job done, no second guessing, just slice, move on. I don't want anything coming back after I think I killed it and tearing my stomach out. That's why I'd much rather a machete than fucking garden sheers. Because I like not having my throat cut.

A group of people slowly gather at both ends of the aisle, Massacre Man and Freak are still looking at the tools having not noticed the mob of infected blocking their exits.

[massacre man]

Massacre Man and Freak are still standing in the middle of the aisle, the people begin to walk toward them. They both seem to be aware of the approaching doom but aren't moving.

Freak: They're coming for us...

Massacre Man: I know... when I say "run" just run straight.

Freak: Straight? There's a shelf there.

Massacre Man: I know, when I say run just fucking run.

Freak: Fine...

Massacre Man: RUN!

Massacre Man attempts to push the shelf over, but it is bolted down. Freak climbs over top of the shelves and hops into the other aisle, Massacre Man tries to but the bottom part of the shelf gives out, the people are standing next to him.

Massacre Man: Fuck it.

Massacre Man grabs the garden sheers off of the shelf and jams them into the chest of one of the infected which clears him an exit from the crowd, he meets up with Freak at the end of the aisle, he now has a large shovel. Ferretchucker had just witnessed witnessed the whole thing, he sits behind the counter with his cell phone and calls the police, Massacre Man and Freak are unaware.

Massacre Man: You alright, Ferretchucker?

Ferretchucker: Yeah...

Ferretchucker acts as if he didn't just see Massacre Man stab a man in the chest.

Massacre Man: Come over here.

Ferretchucker starts walking toward Massacre Man and Freak when Dudeman's car smashes through the door of the building, Freak looks at Dudeman through the broken windshield, his face seems blank and is non-responsive.

Freak: He's one of them!

Massacre Man: No he's not, he's drunk, get in the car, push Dudeman into the passenger seat and take him home.

Freak: Why?

Massacre Man: I didn't realize shit would be this bad, just take Dudeman home.

Freak: Shouldn't I take him to a hospital?

Massacre Man: Don't take him to the fucking hospital.

Freak: Why?

Massacre Man: Because those things will be there.

Freak: They'll be at his house too.

Massacre Man: Shit... I forgot about that. Just get out of town. Alright. Go... Wait. Take Ferretchucker.

Freak: Where did he go?

Ferretchucker is gone.

Massacre Man: I don't know... just go.

Massacre Man grabs his axe from the back seat and then a plastic bag from behind the counter and runs off into the larger part of the store. After a few moments Freak gets in the car and drives away, it cuts to Massacre Man, the bag is full and tied to the loop of his belt, the contents can't be seen, he already has a rifle strapped to his back along with his axe, a belt with a holster for a machete and few kitchen knifes stuck into extra compartments of the belt, he is in the sporting section, he picks up a bat when Ferretchucker sneaks up behind him and jams a knife into his shoulder, Massacre Man quickly turns.

Massacre Man: What the fuck was that?

Ferretchucker: I saw you kill that guy!

Massacre Man: And?!

Ferretchucker: I'm trying to stop you!

Massacre Man: By stabbing me in the fucking shoulder!? What the fuck?

Ferretchucker pulls the knife out and swings it at Massacre Man again, he jumps back and avoids being cut, he then reaches for a knife in his belt that he shoves through the bottom of Ferretchucker's head and pushes it up, Ferretchucker falls over against the shelf and slowlyl slides to the floor. Massacre Man pulls the knife out and puts it back.

Massacre Man: Sorry...

Massacre Man walks back to the main door holding his shoulder.

[massacre man]

Massacre Man proceeds outside, he starts walking through the parking lot checking the few cars there to see if they contain keys, he goes back inside, bat in hand and hits any infected he can while he makes his way back to Ferretchucker to get his car keys from him, he starts going through the pockets he gets the keys and turns back, he stops when he hears a voice.

Voice: Is it safe?

Massacre Man: Hello?

Voice: Can I come out?

Massacre Man: I guess... if ya want to.

Voice: Are they still here?

Massacre Man: Yeah.

Voice: I don't wanna come out.

Massacre Man: Alright.

Voice: Where are you going?

Massacre Man: Away.

Voice: You're not gonna help me?

Massacre Man: You said you didn't want to come out, I figured you liked it where you were.

Voice: No, I don't wanna be killed.

Massacre Man: Well... you can run or starve.

Voice: Can I come with you?

Massacre Man: No...

Voice: Why not?

Massacre Man: Because I'm running straight into more of them.

The infected start walking down the aisle toward him again.

Massacre Man (Worried): Shit, come on, I'll take you with me.

Voice: Why do you sound so scared?

Massacre Man: They're coming and I think they know where you are, come the fuck on.

Voice: No, I don't want to be eaten.

Massacre Man: What the fuck... they don't eat you. Well, sorry, I'm really short on time right now. I tried to help. Bye.

Massacre Man runs around the aisle and back outside whree he is tackled by an infected person, he uses the bat in his hand and starts to beat it over the head, 3 police cars arrive, 2 cops exit each car and aim their guns at Massacre Man.

Cop: Drop your weapon!

Massacre Man drops the bat.

Cop: All of them.

Massacre Man puts everything down, the cops cuff him and put him in the back of one the cars and all of his weapons in the trunk.

[massacre man]

Still inside of the K-Mart, there is a vent underneath of a water fountain between the two bathrooms, MissMacabre emerges from the vent, she looks around and spots the infected lingering around, they have their backs turned walking away since they believe that there's nobody left inside, she walks to the opposite end of the store, she is near a small restaurant within the store, she tries opening the door she doesn't notice it's the emergency exit door, the alarm goes off, she runs outside and ends up back in the parking lot, she starts running toward her car, she makes it inside and starts her car, she makes it onto the toad before one of the two remaining creatures emerges from her backseat and tries sticking her, she attempts to drive and fight it off at the same time, the result can't be seen at the moment, only the car can be seen smashing into Gorephobia's pickup truck and then flipping out into the open, Gorephobia's car is also overturned, he climbs out with his gun in hand and limps over to the car, he is covered in scratches.

Gorephobia: Ya wrecked my g'damn truck!

Gorephobia shoots into the car, he peaks into the hole he had just made, MissMacabre is dead, the creature is hanging from her by it's tail which is stuck in her throat.

Gorephobia: G'damn, what the hell is that?

The creature pulls itself up and latches onto Gorephobia's face, part of it's tail remained inside of MissMacabre, Gorephobia backs into the road and is flattened with the creature by the police car returning in response to the emergency alarm being activated.

[massacre man]

At the police station, Massacre Man is sitting inside of one of the holding cells at the station, the bag is still on his belt loop, his hands are free and he is leaning on the bars, all of the cops but one are gone. Freak walks inside and starts talking to one of the cops, what they're saying can't be heard, but Massacre Man coughs to get Freak's attention. Freak looks over at him, his eyes widen, he then looks back down and continues his conversation with the cop, Massacre Man sits down, Freak and the cop get closer to the cell, Freak can be heard.

Freak: Ok, thank you, sir.

Freak walks outside and approaches a couple kids he spots across the street.

Freak: Hey, wanna do something cool?

Cut back to inside of the police station, the cop is sitting at the desk which has the keys to the cells on it reading a magazine, a beer can is chucked through the glass door, the cop gets up and runs outside, he starts chasing the kids down the street, while he's distracted Freak sneaks in and grabs the keys, he unlocks the cell, he and Massacre Man are about to leave but the cop has already come back.

Cop: What exactly are you doing?

Massacre Man: God damn it...

Cop: Both of you get in the cell.

Freak: That's not really a good idea.

Cop: Oh?

The cop puts his hand on his gun.

Cop: Why's that?

Freak: Because of those things.

Freak points behind the cop, a group of the infected people are standing outside further softening the already-broken door they burst through, the cop aims his guns at them, Massacre Man grabs the cops shoulders and tosses him into the cell, slamming the door and tossing him the keys.

Massacre Man: Wait until they're gone to come out.

Massacre Man and Freak walk out of the side door, the cop cowers against the wall watching the infected reach through the bars at him. Massacre Man and Freak are standing at the cop car.

Massacre Man: What were you talking to him about?

Freak: Telling him I didn't know what happened to you.

Massacre Man: Where's Dudeman?

Freak: The hospital.

Massacre Man: I told you...

Freak interupts.

Freak: The one in Prince Frederick, it's fine there.

Massacre Man: Good... Pop the trunk.

Freak walks to the driver's seat door and tries to open it, it's locked.

Freak: It's locked.

Massacre Man: Break in.

Freak smashes the window and pops the trunk, all of the weapons are in there.

Massacre Man: Think God they left this car.

Massacre Man suits up again but places the bat in his axe holster and holds his axe, he walks inside and starts swinging away at the infected, after he gets the last one he looks at the cop.

Massacre Man: It's safe now.

The cop pulls out his gun to tell Massacre Man to stay put but he's already out the door by the time he gets the gun out. Massacre Man and Freak get in Dudeman's car and move on to the hospital.

[massacre man]

In the parking lot of the hospital, Massacre Man gets out and leans back in the window.

Massacre Man: Wait around the corner in the alley.

Freak: Why can't I just wait here?

Massacre Man: Because I just locked a cop in a cell and gave him a key.

Freak: At the mercy of a bunch of cannibals.

Massacre Man: They aren't cannibals.

Freak: They aren't?

Massacre Man: No, I haven't seen them harm a soul yet, they just hold them down and wait for those little fuckers to come... Wait in the alley.

Freak: But I want to come inside.

Massacre Man: And I want a fucking friend still after tonight.

Freak: Dudeman.

Massacre Man: All of the blood he lost from the glass and all of the alcohol he drank? Yeah... there's a chance we won't fucking see him again, go in the alley.

Freak: Fine.

Massacre Man starts walking away, he turns.

Massacre Man: Keep this safe too.

Massacre Man takes the bag from his belt loop and puts it on the seat.

Freak: What is it?

Massacre Man runs inside before answering Freak's question, Freak drives into the alley, Massacre Man stands by the door watching the nurse that has her back turned talking on the phone, Massacre Man sneaks by her, there is a plate of sugar cookies on the table, when Massacre Man walks off-screen having snuck past the nurse he turns around and comes back, grabbing 2 cookies from the plate and then proceeding on his way, he gets in the elevator, one cookie in his hand, the other hanging from his mouth, a man gets in next to him and looks him up and down noticing all of the cuts, scars, and weapons. He stands awkwardly close to the opposite wall, the elevator starts going up after the man slowly reaches in front of Massacre Man to push a button. Massacre Man finsihes the first cookie by the time he speaks.

Massacre Man: Happy Halloween.

Man in elevator: Oh, Happy Halloween, I thought that wasn't a costume for a minute.

The man moves further from the wall and stands normal.

Massacre Man: It's not a costume.

The man moves toward the wall again.

Massacre Man: Hey, I'm not used to being in here that often and everything, do you know where I might find the pregnant people having the babies?

Man in elevator: Um... that's on the second floor.

Massacre Man: Really? You think it would be on the first floor in case they need to get their quick or the elevators were out of order or something.

The man begins sweating profusely. stuttering.

Man in elevator: Y-Y-Yeah, th-th-that's the w-world for y-ya.

The elevator stops.

Massacre Man: Thanks a lot, buddy.

Massacre Man leans the axe over his shoulder and turns toward the man who cowers back against the corner. Massacre Man holds the second cookie out.

Massacre Man: Here have a cookie.

The man lowers to the point he is sitting in the corner. He grabs the cookie and Massacre Man exits the elevator, the man examines the cookie and shouts in a relieved, yet still scared voice.

Man in elevator: ...Thanks...

[massacre man]

Inside of the room ABnormal was taken to, the stretcher is folded and leaned against the wall, the creature is gone and the claw marks have gone by unnoticed, Disease and Despare are staring at ABnormal, still too sedated to know what's going on. A doctor, Neverending enters.

Neverending: Alright, so which of you is having the baby?

Disease and Despare stare at him blankly.

Neverending (laughing): Doctor joke.

Despare nods, Disease rolls his eyes. Neverending sits in a chair in front of ABnormal.

Neverending: So uh... have you folks ever witnessed the miracle of birth?

Disease: Fuck no.

Despare: You've never seen a baby get delivered?

Disease: Apart from my own birth, no.

Despare: But you're a paramedic.

Disease: I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' no babies.

Neverending: Well, looks like we got something coming.

Despare and Disease watch, a squishing sound can be heard, Disease's face turns pale.

Disease: I'm gonna go throw up now.

Disease turns around and walks out of the room, leaving the door open.

Despare: Don't mind him.

Neverending: Oh, it's fine. I was once disgusted by this sort of thing, then I went to 'Nam.

Despare: What?

Neverending: Nothing, another doctor joke.

Despare: That didn't even make sense though.

Neverending: You don't get it because you're just a paramedic.

Despare (Frustrated): Do you just say that when nobody laughs at your jokes?

Neverending: No... Oh look here's the baby!

Despare: I don't see anything.

Neverending: Shut up, you aren't a doctor.

Despare: Alright.

Cut to Massacre Man walking down the hallway, he polks his head into a few rooms until he comes to the correct one, Neverending is holding the egg with a puzzled look, Despare is standing off to the side with the same look, Massacre Man walks in, grabs Despare by the arm and walks into the closet of the room, he sits silent waiting.

Despare: What are you doing?

Massacre Man: Any fucking second that eggs gonna burst with little fuckers that aren't too fucking friendly.

Despare (Whispering): What if they find us?

Massacre Man: I'm not worried about that.

Despare (whispering): Keep your voice down, we're supposed to hide.

Massacre Man (Whispering): I don't care if they know we're here...

Massacre Man switches back to his normal voice.

Massacre Man: Fuck, now you got me whispering... just wait a few minutes.

The sound of the egg hatching and Hell breaking loose can be heard outside.

[massacre man]

An operating room, there is somebody sedated on the table with a large incision on his chest, a doctor is washing his hands, he walks over to the man on the table, he then flatlines, the surgeon looks at the heart monitor then back at the man, a creature is poking it's head out from the wound, it leaps at the surgeon poking him. Cut to a young father watching the baby room from the other end of the glass. Three of the creature scurry in and begin poking the babies. Thinking they have the same abilities as adults, the babies attempt standing but fall to the floor cracking their soft skulls, the father watching from outside runs in, he is nicked on the back of the ankle by one of the creatures hiding beneath a table. Cut to Massacre Man exiting the room with Despare, there are no creatures inside, Despare closes the door to the room. Massacre Man stands over ABnormal.

Massacre Man: Hey...

ABnormal doesn't respond.

Despare: She's extremely sedated.

Massacre Man: Oh, alright.

Despare: But it doesn't look like she's breathing.

Despare walks over and grabs her wrist to check her pulse, he looks at Massacre Man.

Despare: She's gone.

Massacre Man is speechless.

Despare: You ok?

Massacre Man: Not really.

Despare: Did you know her?

Massacre Man: Yeah.

Despare: Was she your girlfriend?

Massacre Man: I'm uh... not really sure on that, we never really worked it out.

Despare: You wanna sit down?

Massacre Man: No.

Massacre Man turns toward the door he tosses the machete to Despare and gets his axe in hand, he opens the door and walks out, after a few seconds Despare follows.

Massacre Man: Don't let them touch you.

Despare: What happens if they touch me?

Massacre Man: You're fucked.

Massacre Man turns around and spots a creature latched onto the ceiling about to drop down on Despare. Massacre Man pushes Despare out of the way as soon as the creature releases it's grip, when it hits the ground it is followed by Massacre Man's foot.

Despare: They can climb walls?

Massacre Man: I didn't even know that.

Massacre Man and Despare proceed to the elevator when they open the door a creature comes out, Massacre Man grabs it's tail and swings it around a few times before throwing it against the wall, causing it to splatter. When Massacre Man and Despare get on the elevator they hear a voice approaching them.

Voice: Wait! Wait!

Despare pokes his head out of the door, Disease is running toward them, he boards the elevator and Massacre Man pushes the button to send the elevator to the first floor.

Disease: What the fuck is going on?

Despare: The apocalypse.

Massacre Man: It's not the fucking apocalypse.

Disease: Who the fuck are you?

Massacre Man: Who the fuck are you?

Despare: Stop saying "Fuck"

Disease: What's wrong with "Fuck"? Fuck... fuck... fuck... fuck...

Massacre Man: Shut the fuck up.

Disease chuckles. The elevator stops, Massacre Man steps off, Despare and Disease are right behind him.

Despare: Where are we going?

Massacre Man: I'm going home I don't give a fuck what you do.

Despare: You aren't gonna help us?

Disease: Some fuckin' hero you are.

Massacre Man: I never said I was a hero.

Disease: You look enough like one with all of those weapons.

Despare: How could you just leave?

Massacre Man: The only reason I came here was ABnormal, but now she's dead, I've had to deal with enough shit this week, so I'm going the fuck home before this gets any worse.

Despare: How could this possibly get worse?

The sounds of a window breaking can be heard upstairs, followed by things being thrown around and large footsteps stomping across the room.

Massacre Man: That's how shit could possibly get worse.

[massacre man]

Bits of the ceiling start dropping. a few groans and shrieks can be heard but are quickly silenced. Despare looks at the ceiling, sympathetic for the people being killed, he turns around and starts walking toward the elevator. Massacre Man runs over and grabs his shoulder

Massacre Man: What are you doing?

Despare: I'm going to help them.

Massacre Man: Wait, I don't want someone else's fucking death on my conscience. I can hardly sleep as it is.

Despare: What about them?

Massacre Man: I don't know them, I don't give a fuck about them.

Despare: You're not going to do anything about it.

Massacre Man: Fine, I'll go with you, but if you die, don't talk to me.

Despare (Confused): O... K...

Despare presses the button on the elevator and waits, Massacre Man looks at Disease.

Massacre Man: Are you coming?

Disease: Ha... fuck no.

Massacre Man: I like you.

Disease: Thanks.

The elevator doors open, Despare gets on, Massacre Man is about to but he turns, walks to Disease and hands him the baseball bat.

Massacre Man: Just in case...

Disease: A bat? Why can't I use the axe?

Massacre Man: Nobody uses my axe.

They are interrupted by a crashing sound coming from the elevator, they both run over to it, it has collapsed, crushing Despare, Massacre Man and Disease arrive just in time to see a flash of the tail of the huge creature as it climbs back up the elevator shaft.

Massacre Man: God damn it...

Massacre Man crouches down and looks at the blood dripping from the elevator, he reaches his hand into the wreckage and pulls the machete out.

Massacre Man: You want this instead?

Disease nods and hands the bat back to Massacre Man and takes the machete from him.

Disease: What was that?

Massacre Man: Not a fucking clue.

[massacre man]

Massacre Man looks at Disease.

Massacre Man: You aren't going to fight it now, are you?

Disease: Pfft, fuck that.

Massacre Man: Good, let's leave.

Disease: Best idea I've heard all night.

Massacre Man: Let's go.

Massacre Man and Disease walk to the door, all of the infected folks that weren't killed at the K-Mart or police station are approaching the door, Massacre Man locks it.

Massacre Man: Guess we have to use the back door.

Disease: Don't have one?

Massacre Man: What kind of hospital doesn't have a back fucking door?

Disease: This one.

Massacre Man: Is there another exit?

Disease: No.

Massacre Man looks up toward the Heavens and starts talking.

Massacre Man: This is a sign, isn't it?

He looks back at Disease who asks him a question.

Disease: So how did you get into this mess?

Massacre Man: Shit... do you really wanna know?

Disease: Yeah.

Massacre Man: Why?

Disease: Well you seem experienced in doing... whatever the fuck this is.

Massacre Man: Well, a few days ago I was excited for the Tales From The Crypt marathon coming on, but my friend, Rod was getting married, being the kind fucker I am, I took him looking for places ro have his honeymoon, being the horror buff that he is we went to check out an old abandoned campsite with my other friend, Illdojo...

Disease: Illdojo? My brother deals to him.

Massacre Man: Shut up, I'm telling a fucking story.

Disease: Fuck, sorry.

Massacre Man: It's cool. So this slut starts talking to Illdojo and he hangs out with her, but then this monkey bites Rod while me and him were walking through the woods, we tried figuring out something to do with it, but it got out, me and Rod came back and our van broke down, we went into this morgue and a cannibal killed Rod and chained me to the wall.

Disease (Sarcastically): Was his name Jigsaw?

Massacre Man: I told you to shut the fuck up. But he cut my feet off and poked my eye out, I slipped off and killed this big, annoying black dude with a blender, I got tossed in the basement, there was someone in there, it was dark and I didn't know who it was so I tossed a meat cleaver and it got jammed in his back, I sort of crippled him, then these zombies showed up, I hid and eventually escaped, I met up with Illdojo and an ambulance came and got me, the monkey from earlier made the ambluance crash, bit the paramedics, I got into a fight with it and sent it on it's way, then I got on the radio to get helped and then I got killed.

Disease: Then how are you here... and you still have both eyes, and both feet.

Massacre Man: I'm getting to that, now shut the fuck up and let me tell the story. But yeah, I don't remember anything up until I woke up standing outside of a van with that __V__ guy, the reporter from Fox 5. He gave me his news van and I tried driving home, I saw a demolished bar, the fucking monkey was there.

Massacre Man grips his hands tighter on the axe.

Massacre Man: And that's when I used this, I chopped it in half and tried driving home, but then I got caught up again, Illdojo and Rod started talking to me.

Disease: I thought Rod was dead.

Massacre Man: They both were.

Disease: What happened to Illdojo?

Massacre Man: I don't know, but they made me wreck and I had to get help from these girls, they were bitches for the most part, there was one I thought was kind of cool, but then we had an encounter with werewolves and serial killer, guess who the lone survivor was! I took out the werewolves and the killer, I collapsed in the middle of woods, guess what showed up.

Disease: Vampires?

Massacre Man: Nope, the fucking monkey.

Disease (Not believing a word Massacre Man says, just humoring him): Weird...

Massacre Man: The monkey ran off, I tried tracking it down, but ended up fighting werewolf zombies with that reporter again, but sadly, he didn't make it that time. I finally made it back to Shady Side. I go to the wedding to tell the bride.

Disease: Just before she got married you were gonna tell her that her husband was dead?

Massacre Man: I didn't know where she lived and I was just gonna say he left.

Disease: Oh.

Massacre Man: Yeah, she didn't show up either.

Disease: Bummer.

Massacre Man: Yeah, but there I saw ABnormal for the first time in... guess how long.

Disease: How long?

Massacre Man: 9 months! She had a surprise for me. Wanna guess what that was?

Disease: The baby?

Massacre Man: No, the 2 eggs filled with those little fucks that I thought was gonna be my baby! On top of all of that, a skinhead blew another friend of mine's head off, one has a moonshine bottle lodged inside of him and the other one is outside waiting for me, but he's probably dead judging by the fuckers out there. Oh yeah, and I'm having freaky fucking dreams about my dead friends.

Disease: Poor guy, have you thought about seeing a therapist?

Massacre Man: Why would I see a therapist?

Disease: Because you're a fucking nutjob.

Massacre Man: How's that?

Disease: You don't see anything remotely crazy about what you just told me?

Massacre Man: You see this shit and doubt what I'm telling you?

Disease: Yeah. This is like an alien or disease or something, you're talking about being killed and being revived, it sounds like something out of a bad fucking movie.

Massacre Man: Oh well, I don't give a shit if you believe me, I just wanna go home and...

The ceiling collapses, the gigantic creature rises from the chunks of the ceiling, Massacre Man and Disease stare in disbelief, it's the same creature that impregnated ABnormal but has grown in size and looks far more ferocious, it's tail sticks straight up into the air until it bends at the tip pointed toward Disease and Massacre Man.

[massacre man]

The creature moves it's tail forward, the two jump back, Disease quickly leaps forward and sticks the machete into the creature's stomach. The creature then looks at the wound and the machete sticking out of it. The creature roars and swings it tail toward Disease, Massacre Man takes the axe to it, the axe doesn't go through all the way and is lodged into it's tail, Massacre Man keeps a grip on it until the creature swings it's tail about and throws Massacre Man up through the hole in the ceiling, he doesn't come back down. Disease turns and starts running, the creature follows, it doesn't have a problem keeping up, Disease opens a door into a winding stairwell. He gets midway up the stairs when the beast grabs his leg, Disease flips over the side of the steps and hits the ground arm-first with a crack, he starts running back the way he came, his arm looks broken, he hides in one of the rooms, leaving the door open, he hides in front of the door, after a few moments the beast burst through the wall on the other side of the room, as soon as it does Disease makes his way out and back up the stairs without being noticed, while on the second floor he makes his way past the infected trying to hold him down, he gets to the area the creature fell through, several bodies are laying about with their heads splattered on the floor or their chests and stomachs torn open, one of the cabinets starts to move, Neverending bursts out and grabs Disease by his shoulders

Neverending: Please! Please! You have to get me out of here.

Disease: Be quiet.

Neverending: It killed them!

Disease: Shut up.

Neverending: They're all helping him, why are they helping him!?

Disease puts his hand over Neverending's mouth to quiet him but it's too late, the beast storms back up the stairs and into the room it's tail swings and throws Disease across the room, he lands next to Massacre Man's weapon belt, all of the knives are missing. The beast holds Neverending to the floor and steadies it's tail over Neverending's head, Neverending tries pushing the machete into the beast further but it does nothing, the very tip of the machete is now poking through the beast's skin a small bit but it isn't phased. The axe is still jammed inside of it's tail, Disease debates with himself whether he should try getting hold of the axe or not when his thoughts are interrupted at the sound of The Beast's tail entering Neverending's head, it pumps the same thing it pumped into ABnormal into Neverending, it all goes directly to his brain, killing Neverending almost instantly. Disease stands up and starts to run back down the hall, the monster pulls it's tail out of Neverending and starts to chase after Disease, he passes Massacre Man who is standing calm and collected in the middle of the hallway despite the blood coming from his head, he has one hand behind his back.

Disease: Run!

Massacre Man: Wait a fucking minute.

Massacre Man pulls his hand out from behind his back, he is holding all of the remaining baby creatures by their tails, they've all been skinned and gutted, the beast stops running and stares at Massacre Man, he then chucks them across the room. The Beast turns around and runs over to the bodies of his children who have just splattered against the window. Red and Blue lights can be seen flashing from far off in the window.

Massacre Man: Thank God that worked...

Massacre Man swings the rifle around and aims it at The Beast.

Disease: Wait, you can't shoot a gun in a hospital.

Massacre Man looks back at Disease and grins. Cut to Freak sitting outside in Dudeman's car listening to the radio, the rest of the alley can be seen behind him, including the police cars far off in the back, Freak leans over to look and see what is in Massacre Man's bag, glass can be heard breaking, The Beast falls from the window with Massacre Man holding securely onto it's back. Massacre Man tackled it out of the window. The Beast hits the ground face-first. Massacre Man stands up and shoots it in the back of the head a few times. He kicks it to make sure it's dead, it isn't moving. Freak gets out and runs over, Massacre Man pulls the axe from The Beast's tail.

Freak: What is that?

Massacre Man: I think it's their dad.

Freak: Is it dead?

Massacre Man (Relieved): Yeah.

The infected start pouring out into the alley, Massacre Man looks in shock.

Masacre Man: Shit, I forgot about them.

The police start to open fire at the infected.

Massacre Man: If they see us they're probably gonna lock me up again, let's get the fuck out of here.

Freak: Alright.

Freak gets back in the driver's seat, Massacre Man picks his bag up and sits down, Freak and Massacre Man drive away from the hospital safely.

[massacre man]

Cut to Massacre Man sitting in a chair at a different hospital getting the wound on his head stitched, Freak is sitting in the chair across from him, Dudeman is sitting next to Freak, he has bandages wrapped around him in the stomach region.

Dudeman: What happened after I passed out?

Freak and Dudeman both look at Massacre Man.

Massacre Man: Not much...

Dudeman: Oh, I thought there would be some action story or somethin', man.

Massacre Man: Yeah, well, what are you gonna do?

Dudeman: Sucks about Angra though, we're losing too many friends.

The doctor stitching Massacre Man's head looks at them awkwardly. Freak looks at her.

Freak: Your job's to stitch not listen.

Doctor: I'm done.

Massacre Man: Thanks a lot doc, what do I owe ya?

The doctor hands Massacre Man a piece of paper, Massacre Man then pulls out a wad of blood-soaked cash, he looks back at Freak and Dudeman.

Massacre Man: Hey, they aren't gonna need it are they?

Cut to the three in Dudeman's car sitting in front of Massacre Man's house, it is early morning, the sun is just rising, he gets out and leans in the window.

Massacre Man: So, what are you fellas up to after this?

Dudeman: A couple beers at my house, man.

Freak: You gonna come?

Massacre Man: Nope, just gonna take a few days for myself. I got this.

Massacre Man grabs the bag from out of the car, then his axe.

Massacre Man: Peace.

Massacre Man turns and starts walking toward his house, he picks up the flattened corpse of the creature that was crushed by the ambulance and drops it in his trashcan. When he goes inside he is greeted by his dog.

Massacre Man: Hey girl.

He picks up the creature he stepped on and goes back outside to drop it in the trashcan too adn leans his axe against the wall. He goes back in and the dog starts to jump up and down.

Massacre Man: Gotta go potty, girl?

The dog runs to the back door and Massacre Man let's her out. He sets the bag on the table and unties the knot around it, he reaches in then stops, bites his bottom lip and looks off to the side at his axe. He picks it up, let's the dog in and walks back out the door. Cut to Massacre Man at the house he saw in his dreams, he starts to hack away at the house, first he takes down the door then runs upstairs putting holes through the wall and tearing the doors out. he makes his way down stairs and takes out the corners, he walks out and swings a few more times until a side of the house collapses. He starts walking away, cut to Massacre Man at a gas station that had just opened, he's holding his axe, he looks at the axe.

Massacre Man: Sorry, but I don't think I'll need you anymore.

Massacre Man tosses the axe into the dumpster and walks inside of the station, Back at the abandoned house, Massacre Man is pouring gas all over it, he lights it up and walks back to his house. When he comes back in the dog jumps up and down.

Massacre Man: Why do you have to piss so much?

The dog stands at the door waiting to be let out, Massacre Man let's her out and follows her outside. He sees a dead person's hand sticking up from the ground, the dog starts digging at the ground trying to get deeper. Massacre Man walks over to a picnic table in his backyard, there is a shovel on top of it, Massacre Man grabs it and starts digging, he gets the body up and looks at it.

Massacre Man: Rod, you sick bastard. Why would you kill the only woman willing to have sex with you...

Massacre Man picks up Novakru's body.

Massacre Man: You know what? I'm not gonna fucking deal with this one.

Massacre Man drags the body to the fence and pushes it over into Jenna26's yard, Massacre Man walks inside with the dog

Massacre Man: Finally...

Massacre Man pulls out the contents of the bag, the 7 "Tales From The Crypt" DVDs. Massacre Man takes them to his living room, he opens the first season and puts it in the DVD player, he sits on the couch, the dog jumps onto the opposite end of the couch, Massacre Man lays across it using the dog as a pillow. He has a satisfied look on his face as the opening theme from Tales From The Crypt plays from his TV.



THE END

[massacre man]

Body Count (Unless I'm missing something)

Angra-Shot in the head by Gorephobia
Ferretchucker-Stabbed in the head by Massacre Man
MissMacabre-Car Crash
Gorephobia-Run over
ABnormal-Died after giving birth
Despare-Crushed in elevator
Neverending-Head blown up
Novakru-Killed by Roderick Usher some time ago.

[massacre man]

Oh wow. I skimmed this a few times, I barely remember it. I'm putting them all on a flash drive and reading them when I get a chance. Thanks for making the compilation, __V__.