novakru
03-18-2009, 09:15 AM
So
Alot has happened
I had a nervous breakdown
No empathy wanted- just giving you a fact
I wanted to THANK all the people here that were so kind and cared enough to try and contact me.
Alot of things got lost, including phone numbers, email addys, etc etc (embarrassingly- my family's stuff as well, can you imagine that phone call I had to answer? :o )
I am so sorry, I am a boobhead .:D
If you still want to pass that info on to me, please email or PM?
[email protected]
And if I seem not so compassionate now, it's not because I don't care when you guys go through tough times.
I just have so much to give, and my children suck that out by 3pm everyday.
But I am getting stronger.
I never thought I would come back here, so THANK YOU for not telling me to fuck off, much appreciated!:cool:
I really didn't think what happened to me would ever happen, I thought I was stronger, I thought I had it together. I thought I could get thru anything.
But I am totally grateful I had that experience.
I regret nothing now.
I do not have any bad feelings for anything or anybody.
I am writing this list for my benefit, my catharsis. You can skip this.
Let this go....
My mother being controlling and oppressive.
Being left with relatives that resented me.
Moving to a billion different places with a billion different schools.
My father raping me for 2 years.
My grandmother not talking to me for 3 years because I fell in love with a 'mulatto' and turning my entire family against me.
Getting beat so bad I couldn't talk for a week.
Losing 2 babies.
My husband giving me a social disease from one of his scanks.
My husband telling his RICH, SNOB family that I trapped him into marriage, so they would understand his little "trailer trash".
My husband telling me to abort Lauren.
My husband telling me he would take the kids away from me if I divorced him.
My husband telling me he would love me forever.
My husband asking me to marry him because he couldn't see living another day without knowing I would be there by his side when we were old.
Seeing and hearing all the horror in this world and knowing I couldn't stop it.
Not being there for Kitty when they put her to sleep because I was a wuss, she deserved me to be there, holding her until she went away because she gave me 11 years of comfort.
All the animals that passed through my life that I didn't give everything I had to HELP:
Rebecca
Bounce
Clueless
calico female
Clue
Liselle
the 5 kittens I saved and then gave to the shelter.
The bunny Wolfgang tore up
That cat I ran over and then had to tell her people I killed her and they thanked me for telling them, they should have hit me.
I am sorry I hurt you:
Norma-I hung out with her because she was cool and rich.
Henry- I dated him because he took me to expensive places in a fast car and he owned a club.
Paul- I bloodied his nose in the 3rd grade.
Matt- I was lonely and he loved me, he asked me why I wanted to break up and I told him he had a small dick and slammed the phone down.
Patricia- She was scared of dying alone and I promised her I would be there when she went and when they called her code, I was outside smoking a cigarette.
Tommy- I cheated on him with a drug dealer and his girlfriend.
Danny- I stole his Porsche model cars.
Loni- I wasn't with her when her dad died and I could have, I just didn't want to 'deal with it'.
My children- I have failed you many times and many more to come.
My mom- I was a disrespectful kid, and had you awake many nights, worried about me , hoping I wasn't dead.
My husband- I was a bad wife.
My Great Grandmother- I made you cry.
myself- for trying to take my life when it's not mine to take.
Alot has happened
I had a nervous breakdown
No empathy wanted- just giving you a fact
I wanted to THANK all the people here that were so kind and cared enough to try and contact me.
Alot of things got lost, including phone numbers, email addys, etc etc (embarrassingly- my family's stuff as well, can you imagine that phone call I had to answer? :o )
I am so sorry, I am a boobhead .:D
If you still want to pass that info on to me, please email or PM?
[email protected]
And if I seem not so compassionate now, it's not because I don't care when you guys go through tough times.
I just have so much to give, and my children suck that out by 3pm everyday.
But I am getting stronger.
I never thought I would come back here, so THANK YOU for not telling me to fuck off, much appreciated!:cool:
I really didn't think what happened to me would ever happen, I thought I was stronger, I thought I had it together. I thought I could get thru anything.
But I am totally grateful I had that experience.
I regret nothing now.
I do not have any bad feelings for anything or anybody.
I am writing this list for my benefit, my catharsis. You can skip this.
Let this go....
My mother being controlling and oppressive.
Being left with relatives that resented me.
Moving to a billion different places with a billion different schools.
My father raping me for 2 years.
My grandmother not talking to me for 3 years because I fell in love with a 'mulatto' and turning my entire family against me.
Getting beat so bad I couldn't talk for a week.
Losing 2 babies.
My husband giving me a social disease from one of his scanks.
My husband telling his RICH, SNOB family that I trapped him into marriage, so they would understand his little "trailer trash".
My husband telling me to abort Lauren.
My husband telling me he would take the kids away from me if I divorced him.
My husband telling me he would love me forever.
My husband asking me to marry him because he couldn't see living another day without knowing I would be there by his side when we were old.
Seeing and hearing all the horror in this world and knowing I couldn't stop it.
Not being there for Kitty when they put her to sleep because I was a wuss, she deserved me to be there, holding her until she went away because she gave me 11 years of comfort.
All the animals that passed through my life that I didn't give everything I had to HELP:
Rebecca
Bounce
Clueless
calico female
Clue
Liselle
the 5 kittens I saved and then gave to the shelter.
The bunny Wolfgang tore up
That cat I ran over and then had to tell her people I killed her and they thanked me for telling them, they should have hit me.
I am sorry I hurt you:
Norma-I hung out with her because she was cool and rich.
Henry- I dated him because he took me to expensive places in a fast car and he owned a club.
Paul- I bloodied his nose in the 3rd grade.
Matt- I was lonely and he loved me, he asked me why I wanted to break up and I told him he had a small dick and slammed the phone down.
Patricia- She was scared of dying alone and I promised her I would be there when she went and when they called her code, I was outside smoking a cigarette.
Tommy- I cheated on him with a drug dealer and his girlfriend.
Danny- I stole his Porsche model cars.
Loni- I wasn't with her when her dad died and I could have, I just didn't want to 'deal with it'.
My children- I have failed you many times and many more to come.
My mom- I was a disrespectful kid, and had you awake many nights, worried about me , hoping I wasn't dead.
My husband- I was a bad wife.
My Great Grandmother- I made you cry.
myself- for trying to take my life when it's not mine to take.