Christmas Blues.

[mikeyjay88]

When i was a kid i loved Christmas, just the feeling of it made me happy. Now that im older I have come to realize its probably the crappiest time of the year. Every Christmas i feel like i have to visit my family even though i cant stand them, I typically just send them a card and leave it at that. Now this year I have to go back and live with them because I cant afford to live here anymore, I have to leave my friends and my new girlfriend :mad:. It doesnt fail though everything holiday something really crappy happens. Any of you have the Christmas Blues?

[Posher778]

I have the year round blues. Holidays just remind me.

[mikeyjay88]

That sucks. I feel for you though. Ive been depressed now for about a year. It sucks but the holidays just make me sadder. Especially since something bad happens every year!

[bloody_ribcut]

i dont get the christmas blues, i get the christmas green.:D

[La Chat Noire]

I only get down to the extent that I'm pretty broke and can't get people nice gifts this year. Oh and I hate all the holiday shoppers and congested traffic. But other than that I try to stay in the holiday spirit.

[missmacabre]

When i was a kid i loved Christmas, just the feeling of it made me happy. Now that im older I have come to realize its probably the crappiest time of the year. Every Christmas i feel like i have to visit my family even though i cant stand them, I typically just send them a card and leave it at that. Now this year I have to go back and live with them because I cant afford to live here anymore, I have to leave my friends and my new girlfriend :mad:. It doesnt fail though everything holiday something really crappy happens. Any of you have the Christmas Blues?

I feel for you Honey. I think this would be a perfect time for you to start saving up the money to take some college courses though. You've always gotta look on the bright side. I say save your money, become a recording technician or something related to music and then move back to LA.

[Roderick Usher]

I can't understand of hating one's family. My family is huge and a bit annoying, but hate them? Never. I despise organized religion and would neer subject my children to it (even though I teach them as much as possible on the subject)...but my family is Catholic and going to Mass is a huge part of the family holidays.

I could protest and pout and avoid the religion, but that just pisses people off, so I go to mass with the family because it makes them happy. And go figure, making others happy is rewarding as hell.

Christmas (or your holiday of choice) should be a time of celebration. It's never going to be perfect and neither is anyone's family, but you can either make the best of it or sit and sulk.

And I know that many of you sad-sacks would rather sit and sulk than have a good time. Of course the holidays will suck for you, you're making them suck. Good luck with that.

Chose to have fun with it (no matter how sappy or lame it seems) and you'll find that holiday cheer.

[stubbornforgey]

When i was a kid i loved Christmas, just the feeling of it made me happy. Now that im older I have come to realize its probably the crappiest time of the year. Every Christmas i feel like i have to visit my family even though i cant stand them, I typically just send them a card and leave it at that. Now this year I have to go back and live with them because I cant afford to live here anymore, I have to leave my friends and my new girlfriend :mad:. It doesnt fail though everything holiday something really crappy happens. Any of you have the Christmas Blues?


I hate xmas..I really really hate this time of the year.
For starters..the poor children i see in my neighbourhood plus the ones i used to teach in school..they try so hard..and i MEAN so very fucken hard to be good and do the right thing becos they are led to beleive that if by doing so..santa will reward them with wat ever they wish for..and some dont ask for much.
Many have tried to fulfill these kids wishes but every year the wish list gets too expensive..so they r being fooled not once..BUT 2WICE each year.

Secondly...I had to leave the love of my life to settle shit back here in NZ.
When i was there ..we had made plans ..soooooooooo many plans
as we spent our 1st xmas together.So with broken heart in hand..my silly egyptian sent me home.
The look on his face as he gave me my ticket..the look on his face as he drove me to the airport..not to mention our farewell kiss and the way he held me..so tight but nothing will ever erase the memory of the broken hearted man that stood on the other side of customs as i checked in. :(

[mikeyjay88]

Alot of people think if someone doesnt like xmas or hates their parents that the person is just a cry baby or something. Im not gonna sit here and explain my life story about why i cant stand the holidays or my family, i just know i have my reasons and there good ones.

[Posher778]

And I know that many of you sad-sacks would rather sit and sulk than have a good time. Of course the holidays will suck for you, you're making them suck. Good luck with that.


Actually, it's really not your place to judge.

[The_Return]

http://k53.pbase.com/v3/42/267742/1/45921590.popcorn.gif

[Posher778]

http://k53.pbase.com/v3/42/267742/1/45921590.popcorn.gif

OM NOM NOM

[monalisa]

http://k53.pbase.com/v3/42/267742/1/45921590.popcorn.gif

OMG, thank you! That's one of the cutest damn things I've seen in a while.

[stubbornforgey]

I can't understand of hating one's family. My family is huge and a bit annoying, but hate them? Never. I despise organized religion and would neer subject my children to it (even though I teach them as much as possible on the subject)...but my family is Catholic and going to Mass is a huge part of the family holidays.

I could protest and pout and avoid the religion, but that just pisses people off, so I go to mass with the family because it makes them happy. And go figure, making others happy is rewarding as hell.

Christmas (or your holiday of choice) should be a time of celebration. It's never going to be perfect and neither is anyone's family, but you can either make the best of it or sit and sulk.

And I know that many of you sad-sacks would rather sit and sulk than have a good time. Of course the holidays will suck for you, you're making them suck. Good luck with that.

Chose to have fun with it (no matter how sappy or lame it seems) and you'll find that holiday cheer.

I totally agree with this.
We all have our issues with our parents..some as more dramatic as others..from abuse to total neglect..
however its not right to always blame these things on your life sucking all the time.
I blame nobody for my misery as its up to me to move on.
As much as I hate this time of the year..I refuse to make it an unhappy occasion for those around me...as far as em concerned..i can wallow in my own self pity but I still have those loved ones whose christmas I do not want to ruin it for those or rain on thier parade.

[monalisa]

I'm sorry you're going through a rough time Mikey. It'll get better, hang in there. Life sucks sometimes, but when it gets better, you appreciate it more cuz of how much it sucked before. Sounds kinda cliche, but I've found it to be true.

I think it's perfectly normal to get the blues during the holidays, it happens to a lot of people. When you have crappy stuff happening in your life, it makes it worse. The week of Thanksgiving, I was a mess. I kept trying to focus on the positive and blah blah blah, all the stuff I tell other people to do. But I was sad as hell, I even got physically ill. When I get really stressed out, I get severe stomach problems. But this past week has been a lot better.

Try to keep busy, it helps, even if you have to force yourself to get up and do stuff. Keep talking to people. If you need to just be by yourself for a couple of days, that's fine, sometimes that helps too. But don't let it go on for more than a couple of days or you may get stuck and it's a hard hole to crawl out of.

Take care of yourself man.

[Roderick Usher]

Actually, it's really not your place to judge.

of course it is

my word is law:D

[Roderick Usher]

[QUOTE=stubbornforgey;766457]I blame nobody for my misery as its up to me to move on.
[QUOTE]

This is probably the bravest thing I've yet read on this forum. I'm really sorry that your circumstances have really sucked lately, but I sincerely aplaud you for being honest and frank and inspiring.

[Phalanx]

And I know that many of you sad-sacks would rather sit and sulk than have a good time. Of course the holidays will suck for you, you're making them suck. Good luck with that.
I think you might be jumping the gun in saying that.
See, I don't hate religion...I just don't subscribe to any presently...
I don't hate Christmas, but I hate what it currently entails to a lot of people.
I don't hate any family members...there are just some of those that I'd rather avoid so as to leave issues behind and not have them bought up to continue any given cycle.
I don't hate holidays, but I hate crowds.
Don't much like flashing lights.
But my holiday season, so to speak, does not suck - I would say that it might suck a little moreso if I was hanging with folks that there had to be some kind've pretense going on (eg - the church thing) but then I don't live to make others happy, and would feel a bit more like I was privately insulting those that are in fact, part of the religion as a "serious" thing.

That said, I agree with you to the point that anyone not having a particularly "good time" should whine about it, just do something else, or sleep through it. Enjoy it like any other day/s off. Don't let it matter to you.

Re - Hatred over past incidents.
Nobody can really go ahead and say whether or not a person is justified in hating someone...in some cases there's been no kind of resolution, in some cases really, REALLY bad, deceitful and abusive things have been done.
People don't hate easily, but I would say that if the situation warrants it to the person in question, it's more of a reactionary thing, maybe not one someone can control - often these kinds of acts will completely change the way you see a person, revealing the kind of properties that you do in fact dislike and would rather not be exposed to...for a parent.family member to have done anything like that, the feeling can be all the more.
If you despise something someone did/said to you, and feel as though you'd be compromising your own value system to continue communication...it makes sence not to.
Some things can be forgiven, some can not. Simple.
Sometimes time will "heal", sometimes actions on the part of the anyone involved can find resolution or redemption...but again, sometimes not.
If you haven't been in the situation when you literally can't or won't bring yourself to forgive and forget, then you can't really comment.
Because your opinion, your personal tolerance levels, your truth, your way of dealing with things isn't necessarily right for everyone, just right for you.
I'm an easygoing guy, but I'm not about to be anyones fool, and I would never think that poorly of my own judgement to back down on something like this...because it wouldn't "make me a better person", it would make me something I'm not.
If you say you've been there, and you DID forgive and forget...well, you just haven't really been there after all, your perspective/life may have allowed you to move on...some would rather avoid any further incident or pain.

It's not like a person that "hates" someone is going around letting it rule their life...it's not as though it takes a great deal of effort like some seem to assume...people don't just walk around full of hate with all those around them, that's absolutely wrong. You can find happiness with the "bad parts" erased, hell, maybe some people feel like they'd just be pretending any other way.

Said enough on all that I think...just to point out that even though you may have a difference of opinion, it doesn't invalidate the other - what's "necessary" is completely subjective case by case.

Christmas itself - I view as a time when a lot of folks have time off, and you're all able to spend a few hours together with those that matter.
A chance to do some relaxing cooking, and get some drinkage goin' on.
Usually go with a BBQ myself.

[hacelikewhoa]

gee Phalanx you're on a roll! Kick some knowledge at em! :D

[urgeok2]

I can't understand of hating one's family. .

you'd understand it a whole lot better if you met mine. I'm not going into details because i hate drama on the forum - lets just say that no one else who could understand it either - had the lights go on once they met mine.

i never cared for christmas much because of that ... and i wouldnt care much for it now if it wasnt for my son. I do enjoy the parts of christmas that revolve around him - our immediate family ...

but i hate the commercialism of christmas .. i know people think it's cool to day that - but i really fucking hate it. i hate the expectations, the one upmanship, the bullshit games... i hate 90% of the music, i cant stand the houses that are decorated like they're trying to win an asshole contest - i hate the fact that everyone thinks you have to love christmas or you're the devil.


i like the time off - spent with my wife and kid
i like seeing him open presents
i like seeing some friends around that time..

that's what i focus on - and i'm pretty sure that's healthy


thats about it though.. i think the rest of it is insanity.
fucking rude fuckers pushing and shoving in the malls...
crazy hight suicide rate ...


people build such high crazy fucking expectations around this one bullshit day that most are disappointed and cant handle it.


oh yeah - and i really fucking hate christmas sweaters and santa hats !!!!

[newb]

I don't mind Christmas. I really enjoy my kids [ not kids anymore..30, 26, 24, 17 ] and we have a good time together.
Not too fond of the music...I can take about 1/2 hour of it. Hate shopping but I deal with it. And all in all most people seem to be in good cheer this time of year, and if their not ...then fuck em....I tend to keep my distance from moody people anyway.

I also am very fond of this seasonal brew :D

http://www.grittys.com/beers/xmas_new.gif

[urgeok2]

....I tend to keep my distance from people anyway.






me too !!!




just kidding .... and dont get me wrong - i'm not moody at all - i just avoid the things i dont like - and only get pissed when i'm forced to do them.
But even then i make the best of the situation..

[stubbornforgey]

[QUOTE=stubbornforgey;766457]I blame nobody for my misery as its up to me to move on.
[QUOTE]

This is probably the bravest thing I've yet read on this forum. I'm really sorry that your circumstances have really sucked lately, but I sincerely aplaud you for being honest and frank and inspiring.


aw shucks.

:o
lol.

seriously though..I too applaud what you posted because there are no truer
words spoken.
Members here have heard almost everything heartbreaking out there and we have supported our fellow posters ..but what inspires me the most are those that stand up and say enough is enough then take back control.
When all is said and done...nobody owns you but yourself.

[mikeyjay88]

I agree that no one owns you but yourself. However when your down and out your parents should be there for you. Mine didnt care about me, i got to live in my car and motels payed for by my grandma who couldnt take me in because she didnt want to "Stir up trouble" with my folks. From 15-18 i had to live like that. Before my parents got divorced my dad beat me my mom yelled at me for every small thing i did. Than my mom remarried to a dickhead who hates me simply because im not his real kid. Seriously leaving L.A. is the worst thing im ever going to have to do. Thats why i hate my parents. I really didnt care to share this but i guess i must just so you all know its not just teenage angst, they didnt just tell me no all the time, im not just a spoiled brat. I have good reason to feel the way i do.

[Vodstok]

I agree that no one owns you but yourself. However when your down and out your parents should be there for you. Mine didnt care about me, i got to live in my car and motels payed for by my grandma who couldnt take me in because she didnt want to "Stir up trouble" with my folks. From 15-18 i had to live like that. Before my parents got divorced my dad beat me my mom yelled at me for every small thing i did. Than my mom remarried to a dickhead who hates me simply because im not his real kid. Seriously leaving L.A. is the worst thing im ever going to have to do. Thats why i hate my parents. I really didnt care to share this but i guess i must just so you all know its not just teenage angst, they didnt just tell me no all the time, im not just a spoiled brat. I have good reason to feel the way i do.
I wrote off my family too, and I am much happier for it.

For the record, i love the holidays. I remember what I always liked about this time of year and that is it. Plus, its kinda hard to be down when you have a new dog, especially when its not because the previous one died.

Oh, and for the record, rod's post didnt judge anyone. Any judgement derived from it comes from the reader alone. so there :p

[mikeyjay88]

I wrote off my family too, and I am much happier for it.

For the record, i love the holidays. I remember what I always liked about this time of year and that is it. Plus, its kinda hard to be down when you have a new dog, especially when its not because the previous one died.

Oh, and for the record, rod's post didnt judge anyone. Any judgement derived from it comes from the reader alone. so there :p

I didnt think rod judged anyone. I just think that what he said was true in some cases and not in others.

[ferretchucker]

Wow. Quite a few issues have been raised in this thread!

I think it's a lot easier to say you hate someone than it is to actually hate them. Currently, I don't hate anybody. There are many people I dislike, but I'd never wish anything bad upon them and they don't deserve it. But I do think in some circumstances hate is...acceptable.

I love Winter, especially December. My parents have always put in a great effort to give me and my siblings the best possible Christmas.

- We put up lights.
Not to try and outdo everybody. It's a pleasant reminder to us and those around us that Christmas is here and it's a time for love.

-We listen to the music and watch the films.
Pretty much the same reason as above.

-We try our best to make others happy.
And unfortunately, it seems the way to do that at Christmas is with material objects. But we do smile at people, invite friends and family around for dinner and games and all sorts.


My birthday is also in December, so that has always been something to look forward to. I have a party, I meet friends and keep the good spirit in my heart and though I don't force it on others, I wish that they accept it because there is no greater thing a person can do for themselves than be happy.

Then there's new years eve and day. Once again, a time to talk to those you may not pay enough attention to during the year. You get to see them, talk to them and have a fun time to them.

One thing I dislike about the way that Christmas is celebrated these days is that so many people forget what it was all about. Christmas is a time to remember the birth of Jesus. Now, I'm not a Christian. I was brought up in an environment where christianity was the main religion but I myself am an agnostic. But still. There was a man named Jesus, and whether or not you believe he was the son of God, he did do good. He made peoples lives that little bit better, even if it was just through giving them faith. And he did get crucified, for doing these good deeds (though that's a whole other holiday).

Now, it has been discovered that many facts about his birth a probably wrong. He was most likely born several years BC, there were only 10 months then (July and August were invented in honour of Julius and Augustus). It was several hundred years after these events took place that December 25th was chosen, but whether it was the day it happened, it did happen. Whether the whole nativity story is wrong, the man who did a lot of good was Born, and we celebrate it on that day. I don't think enough people remember that.

But, I'd like to not finish this post on a down, so, just remember, even if you're upset at holiday times, or you're angry, remember the way Stubbs chooses to live. Keep your problems from bringing down those around you. Sure, vent to others, it's good to get things out, but just please try to give out as much goodness as you can. A person who gives out goodness gets it back tenfold.

[urgeok2]

I think it's a lot easier to say you hate someone than it is to actually hate them. .

and it's easier to make that statement after people have said how they feel ... if you havent experienced what they've experienced.

[Vodstok]

and it's easier to make that statement after people have said how they feel ... if you havent experienced what they've experienced.
Very true. Plus, hating some people is easy and doesnt require much work, its just a natural reaction.

I am much much happier with my life now that family isnt part of it. Thinking back on my fond memories of my childhood this time of year, i realize what i liked best had NOTHING to do with them.

i love the lights, the general happiness the decorations bring out, i especially love how excited Lily gets about everything. Vicarious thrills are the best sometimes.

[stubbornforgey]

and it's easier to make that statement after people have said how they feel ... if you havent experienced what they've experienced.

this is so true.

[ferretchucker]

and it's easier to make that statement after people have said how they feel ... if you havent experienced what they've experienced.

I'm not sure you understood what I was saying. I wasn't saying it's wrong to hate people, or that the people on here don't have reason to, because as you said, I don't know what they've been through or experienced. What I was saying was that many people use the word hate when it isn't required or what they mean. People who fall out with friends may say they hate them, but then they make things up down the line. People may feel they have been wronged and say they hate someone, but they forgive soon after. People sometimes say hate when they just plain mean they don't like someone, or say they hate them when they haven't met them. You yourself say in these threads about celebrities people hate, that you don't hate them because you don't know them. Many do say they hate people.

[mikeyjay88]

I'm not sure you understood what I was saying. I wasn't saying it's wrong to hate people, or that the people on here don't have reason to, because as you said, I don't know what they've been through or experienced. What I was saying was that many people use the word hate when it isn't required or what they mean. People who fall out with friends may say they hate them, but then they make things up down the line. People may feel they have been wronged and say they hate someone, but they forgive soon after. People sometimes say hate when they just plain mean they don't like someone, or say they hate them when they haven't met them. You yourself say in these threads about celebrities people hate, that you don't hate them because you don't know them. Many do say they hate people.

I understood what you were saying and i agree. People who just use the word "hate" towards everything dont mean it, but when you've truelly been wronged or hurt badly by somebody and they dont care i believe thats worth feeling hatred towards them.

[neverending]

Hating someone gives them power over you because hatred just eats you inside. It's physically and psychologically damaging. Put them out of your life and realize how pathetic they are. Don't even give them another thought.

[Phalanx]

Hating someone gives them power over you because hatred just eats you inside. It's physically and psychologically damaging. Put them out of your life and realize how pathetic they are. Don't even give them another thought.

To me, that's what hating someone eventually entails...like I said, hate doesn't need to consume you for it to just "be there"...starts strong, becomes a neutral avoidance system.

just remember, even if you're upset at holiday times, or you're angry, remember the way Stubbs chooses to live. Keep your problems from bringing down those around you
Well, thing is, how she chooses to live works for her.
I can be A-OK with no contact whatsoever, ever again with certain family members...because I'm happy with how that is...in fact when I was around them, they were constantly bringing ME down. That was the cancer I felt necessary to remove.
But like I said...it never effects those around me, because those it would effect, are NOT around me. Doesn't feel like anything GOOD to me is missing.

Very true. Plus, hating some people is easy and doesnt require much work, its just a natural reaction.
Thank you, this is exactly the point I was trying to make.

[stubbornforgey]

you'd understand it a whole lot better if you met mine. I'm not going into details because i hate drama on the forum - lets just say that no one else who could understand it either - had the lights go on once they met mine.

i never cared for christmas much because of that ... and i wouldnt care much for it now if it wasnt for my son. I do enjoy the parts of christmas that revolve around him - our immediate family ...

but i hate the commercialism of christmas .. i know people think it's cool to day that - but i really fucking hate it. i hate the expectations, the one upmanship, the bullshit games... i hate 90% of the music, i cant stand the houses that are decorated like they're trying to win an asshole contest - i hate the fact that everyone thinks you have to love christmas or you're the devil.


i like the time off - spent with my wife and kid
i like seeing him open presents
i like seeing some friends around that time..

that's what i focus on - and i'm pretty sure that's healthy


thats about it though.. i think the rest of it is insanity.
fucking rude fuckers pushing and shoving in the malls...
crazy hight suicide rate ...


people build such high crazy fucking expectations around this one bullshit day that most are disappointed and cant handle it.


oh yeah - and i really fucking hate christmas sweaters and santa hats !!!!


true,
the xmas clothing are very gay.

I hate that almost every celebrity brings out yet another xmas carol album
and if i hear 0ne more silent night or frosty the snowman fucking song..
em gonna scream..nah fuckit..


ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!

[stubbornforgey]

I understood what you were saying and i agree. People who just use the word "hate" towards everything dont mean it, but when you've truelly been wronged or hurt badly by somebody and they dont care i believe thats worth feeling hatred towards them.


too many emotions take up too much energy.

We can hate as many people as we like but it doesn't effect them one bit.
By the way some of these arrogant bastards work, the only one losing sleep is you,
the only one who is getting eaten from the inside with all the anger ..is you.

Wouldn't it be better to show the fucks that nothing they can do or say will ever hurt you ever again.
Hold your head up, walk proud and just carry on..after all .
who knows..tomorrow..something could happen that would knock them off thier pedal stool.
And be honest...you are not as shallow as them and you wouldn't resort to that level..so if some day they come to you for help..
could you in all honesty...turn them away.?

[ferretchucker]

You can not let them know your hatred effects them and if you have enough control you can forget about them, but inside hatred will be there in some people and no matter how hard they try to keep up appearances, inside you can't control the way you feel about someone.

[urgeok2]

Quote: (Neverending)
Hating someone gives them power over you because hatred just eats you inside. It's physically and psychologically damaging. Put them out of your life and realize how pathetic they are. Don't even give them another thought.


Quote: (Phalanx)
To me, that's what hating someone eventually entails...like I said, hate doesn't need to consume you for it to just "be there"...starts strong, becomes a neutral avoidance system.


........i totally agree ..........

hate for me doesnt mean some kind of ulcer inducing all consuming raging point of focus.... its an identifier.

everything this person or thing stands for is the exact opposite of what i want to see on this planet. I understand that ... now i dont want anything to do with them.

I dont tell them i hate them - i dont call them up to yell at them ..

they just cease to exist. that doesnt give them a whole lot of power.

if something/someone i hate wont physically get out of my face - i'll deal with it in my way....then move on.


there may be people who's hate consumes them ... but thats moved onto a different level - thats obsession.

[missmacabre]

So I am actually a little less depressed about Christmas. I think I feel better knowing I have 2 families now so it's twice as nice. I got invited to cut down a tree with Derek's family on Saturday. It will be cold and I am allergic to pine sap but who the hell cares cause my boyfriend's family treats me like family (not that the didn't before) and I get to share this family time with them.

[mikeyjay88]

too many emotions take up too much energy.

We can hate as many people as we like but it doesn't effect them one bit.
By the way some of these arrogant bastards work, the only one losing sleep is you,
the only one who is getting eaten from the inside with all the anger ..is you.

Wouldn't it be better to show the fucks that nothing they can do or say will ever hurt you ever again.
Hold your head up, walk proud and just carry on..after all .
who knows..tomorrow..something could happen that would knock them off thier pedal stool.
And be honest...you are not as shallow as them and you wouldn't resort to that level..so if some day they come to you for help..
could you in all honesty...turn them away.?

I really dont know what i would do if they needed me, they never have. I think i would help because their my family no matter how much they've hurt me. For them its so easy to turn me down, it comes naturally. The person i am though would still help them if they needed it.