Perks Where Ya Werks

[urgeok2]

One of the things i have to do is reclaim hardware from people leaving the company - and redistribute it to new people.

it's mainly laptops so someone will hand me the bag with all the peripherals packed inside - so i have to unpack all the junk and put in in the areas where they belong.

one thing that happens all the time is people leave personal crap behind - and they've left the company.

so my perk is if it's cool - i keep it.

i have a stack of CDs and DVDs .. mostly software but often blanks .. or movies or music (pre-recorded and MP3 cds)

i've also found money, phones, usb memory sticks, a small telescope !, some really nice pens, (and regular crappy bic pens - but i use them) and yesterday i got a 120gg usb harddrive.

i know this is goofy - but i have a childish glee finding stuff .. it's like treasure hunting.


so - i'm not talking about bonuses, or 'illegal' perks ... but does anyone else get cool stuff where they work that isnt part of the job ?

(i also get a free top of the line cell phone and blackberry - but i'm not including that - it's more of a work tool)

[pinkfloyd45769]

I'm a total dork,i love getting all the free office supplies!We have a supply room and we get to "shop" for our office supplies.I know i use most of them at work,but its still fun for me.I have an obsession with pens and post its!!!We get free brand new carseats also.Our company gives them to parents when they take our class and whats there we are free to have as well.I have never bought a carseat or booster seat,i just get a new one from work.Its not really that great of a perk,still cool for me:)

[Vodstok]

When i worked at the help desk, i got a lot fo the perks urge referred to.

Not really a perk, but more of a fun insight into the jerks that we had to deal with was finding porn on their computers and knowing we could blackmail the shit out of them if we wanted to.

Mostly it was softcore, and average, the kind of stuff you find in playboy, but occaisionally it was weird.

One guy had pictures in a folder ON HIS DESKTOP of women he knew. Now, dont get envious of him, he looked like Luis Guzman, was in his mid 40s and drove a white jeep with gold trim and a vanity plate that said "DA BOMB". The chicks were appropriately skanky and disgusting.

Then there was the guy with beastiality (horse)...


The major perk with that job was my boss leaving me in control of 6 computers that were always running, basically for show. I was the God of IT for over a year because I ran a file sharing server (movies, music, software, the above mentioned porn) as well as hosting Halflife deathmatch, Counterstrike, unreal tournament and quake 3 servers for the company. Lunch times were AWESOME during that period.


Then the CIO got wind of it, I found out through the grapevine, and had all evidence of our little scam erased or physically removed in under 10 minutes.

It was passed off as an ugly rumor and no one got hurt. Turns out a contractor decided he didnt like one of the guys who was playing CS with us and found out then ran crying to the higher ups, basically because he was hoping to get the guy fired.

I believe the lack of evidence backfired on him completely and they decided to end the contract. :D

prick.

[urgeok2]

we find that crap on peoples computers all the time too ...


one guy left a CD in his drive with a movie of him banging his wife/girlfriend.

i'm sure its on almost every (guys) computer we get back but i couldnt be bothered to look ... the technicians only see it when they are transferring data.


we had a 'horse lover' as well ... he got a big warning .. cant believe he wasnt immediately dismissed.

[Vodstok]

we find that crap on peoples computers all the time too ...


one guy left a CD in his drive with a movie of him banging his wife/girlfriend.

i'm sure its on almost every (guys) computer we get back but i couldnt be bothered to look ... the technicians only see it when they are transferring data.


we had a 'horse lover' as well ... he got a big warning .. cant believe he wasnt immediately dismissed.
I cant believe he didnt quit.


How the hell do you walk around work knowing people know? Its not like "hey, I like fat women, get over it." or something like that....

the best most peopel can muster is "at least it wasny kiddy porn".


the apparently found that too, but it was before my time. that guy had some issues and years after leaving the company (the child porn was one of many reasons this guy got booted) he killed himself.

[Vodstok]

This reminded me:

By and large, th epeople you find porn on their pcs are men

However, there was one woman at this job that had, again, in a folder on her desktop, videos of herself, showing off and performing acts for gentlemen she met in chat rooms.

The worst part was this woman was a hulk. She was almost 6' tall, had to be over 300 lbs, and had a face to match her personality (she was a godawful bitch)

Now, i have seen some horrible stuff online, and I tend to like women who are a little padded and "blessed" shall we say, but godamn. Ugly flabby and saggy arent my bag, baby, to quote austin powers.

Her boss found out and she got a warning, because, duh, its not your computer...

[newb]

No perks....other than internet access where I can goof around on here.



oh...free coffee and bread for toast if we want it.

[urgeok2]

No perks....other than internet access where I can goof around on here.


.

i thought you were gonna say tape, stamps, and free shipping

[urgeok2]

heh ,, case in point ..

i just got money, a cool key ring, a blackberry (which i'll return) and 3 poker chips.

i'm trying to practice flipping them in my hand like le chiffre

[neverending]

The best perk where I work is time off- if there's no project from a client, we don't have to work. Some weeks I only work two days.

[Mikey B]

I work at a DVD promo company. So, I get tons of movies for free, and extra so I can trade them in and get more movies I want. Plus, uninterrupted internet access to wander around. :D

[illdojo]

I'm a chef...so free food of course, waitress lovin', bottled water, and occasional free drinks at the bar.

[Vodstok]

The best perk where I work is time off- if there's no project from a client, we don't have to work. Some weeks I only work two days.
Are you salaried? Time off means unemployment in my carreer...

[neverending]

Are you salaried? Time off means unemployment in my carreer...

I am indeed.

[Vodstok]

I am indeed.
lucky bastard :)

I havent had a salaried position in 3 years.

[Roderick Usher]

I get screeners of films that producers want to remake!

And I often work in my underwear.

[Vodstok]

I get screeners of films that producers want to remake!

And I often work in my underwear.
Oddly enough, i did the exact same thing earlier this year. Only in my case i was using bittorrent.

Okay, and i wasnt watching movies that people wanted to remake, i was watching movies i would never pay money to see (IE Transformers)


And I had to strip down to work in my underwear, but when you have the freedom....

[jaybomb]

Work for a company named Cellco a authorized agent for AT&T, we get internet access, discounted rates for our cell phones and they also have alot of programs where we can win cell phones and other cool prizes

[The_Return]

Two jobs here...neither with anything overly exciting.

Job #1: Gas station/convenience store. Only cool perk is that I usually get insider info on gas prices the day before they change. Otherwise , I get 20% off everything in the store, 10% of cigs (too bad I don't smoke:rolleyes:), and 2% off gas. I'm sure not complaining (we didn't get jack shit until about 2 months back), but it's not too exciting. Used to get free coffee, but they cut that when we got real discounts (that said, I've still never paid for a cup)

Job #2: Call centre, cell phone tech support. Nothing, really...get to laugh at idiots that screw up their phones, I guess. It's a pretty decent job though, I'm enjoying it so far.

[Zero]

i get free classes at a university. i've had some good ones (including my favorite - a history of horror films that was very cool - i even retook the class - auditing the second time- just to see the different films and hear more about things)

[La Chat Noire]

I get paid holidays off...that's good enough for me right now.

[bwind22]

I manage a hotel so I get free or deeply discounted (usually 80-100% off) rooms at any Hilton brand hotel in the country and first dibs on any lost & found items that go unclaimed for 90 days or more. There's not a whole lot of cool stuff left and then forgotten at hotels though, a TON of cell phone chargers, lots of miscellaneous clothing, books and a suprising amount of sex toys, but every once and a while there will be something cool... Someone left a 16gb Ipod about a month ago that hasn't been reclaimed yet and one time some dude left a CD binder with probably 100 CDs in it. I took probably 20-30 that I ddin't have and actually wanted then let my employees pick through the rest. We ended up tossing about 20 of them though because no one wanted them, even for free. Another perk is hiring and firing people. I like to be the one making the decision on who we hire and while I don't especially enjoy firing people, sometimes it can be quite satisfying if the person is a slacker that's been warned or a total prick. Little known fact about hotel industry workers that get fired.... Probably 75% start crying and plead for their job. Kinda pathetic.

[chaibill]

I cut hair so free hair cuts for me. Some times free product too. And free advice from my clients...

[neverending]

I cut hair so free hair cuts for me. Some times free product too. And free advice from my clients...

You know what they say about advice- it costs nothing and it's worth the price!

[Vodstok]

I manage a hotel so I get free or deeply discounted (usually 80-100% off) rooms at any Hilton brand hotel in the country and first dibs on any lost & found items that go unclaimed for 90 days or more. There's not a whole lot of cool stuff left and then forgotten at hotels though, a TON of cell phone chargers, lots of miscellaneous clothing, books and a suprising amount of sex toys, but every once and a while there will be something cool... Someone left a 16gb Ipod about a month ago that hasn't been reclaimed yet and one time some dude left a CD binder with probably 100 CDs in it. I took probably 20-30 that I ddin't have and actually wanted then let my employees pick through the rest. We ended up tossing about 20 of them though because no one wanted them, even for free. Another perk is hiring and firing people. I like to be the one making the decision on who we hire and while I don't especially enjoy firing people, sometimes it can be quite satisfying if the person is a slacker that's been warned or a total prick. Little known fact about hotel industry workers that get fired.... Probably 75% start crying and plead for their job. Kinda pathetic.You come off as a fucking evil prick in this...

This is one of the reasons we love you :)


Oh, and good call on Obama. I hadn't had a chance to congratulation you on that yet,

[hacelikewhoa]

I'm a Nurse's Aid

I take as many smoke breaks as I want nobody really cares

I only work 2 days a week and get paid for 32 hrs full time ( sat & sunday) 12 hr shifts 6 30 p-6 30 a

So that's a pretty kick ass perk to me

AND I never have to see any department heads because they only work day shift during the week.

[Vodstok]

I cut hair so free hair cuts for me. Some times free product too. And free advice from my clients...
I get free haircuts too, but that is because I like it short, so 5 minutes in a chair with my wife and some clippers :D

[The Flayed One]

Most of you know where I work, but for those of you who don't, I work for Amazon.

I get completely free public transportation and discounts on products. They also have drawings at work every month for $50 gift cards. Other than that, unlimited free coffee and my bosses by me a few drinks and dinners every month for being good at what I do.

I will tell you this, our company picnics are quite the extravaganza. Flayed + unlimited free beer = ....well, I let your imagination do the work.

[bwind22]

You come off as a fucking evil prick in this...

This is one of the reasons we love you :)

Oh that came through? I even tried to disguise that fact by saying I didn't enjoy firing people. :D


Oh, and good call on Obama. I hadn't had a chance to congratulation you on that yet,

Thank you! I'm sure the 'bwind bump' was what tipped the scales. ;) Seriousy though, I'm excited about where we're headed as a country at this point. I even suspect a lot of the haters will come around once he starts making some changes.

[Dude Guadalupe]

Night shift at a dumpy Days Inn doesn't really have perks except no one wants to stay. So since it's slow I get most of the night to goof off, teach myself german, learn card magic.

I suppose it's not all bad.

[Disease]

I have no perks, actually starting Monday they are cutting our internet usage to 1 hour a day meaning you can't just pop on whenever you want to relieve some stres.


I seriously can not think of one perk. Just disadvantages.