A Fresh Start

[The Flayed One]

All I ask here is that you all hear me out.

There was a famous story that once began "Once again, HDC descends into a cesspool..."

We've been bickering and arguing a lot lately. I, along with others old and new, have invested a lot of time in this forum. The intent of this thread is to head it off at the pass before we all fall down.

We've had a lot of fun here, whether you're new or old. We have a lot of fun projects, some past, some present and some that are being constructed as we speak. There are games to be played, there are monumental efforts to increase horror movie knowledge going on by several people on several projects right in front of us. There are good laughs, and there are good friends.

Yet, all we seem to be able to do is get pissy about who posts too much. Angry about who has not earned the right to be so abrasive. Upset about people are curious about without a scent of direction.

From the creator of the Asshat thread, I know these topics well.

First statement, and it is a given: for the most part, we are all assholes. There are those who will never get used to us, and I wish them well in finding a better (although I can only assume far less interesting) home.

There is a thing called the ignore function. If you don't know how to use it, here are the instructions:

Click on a members user name or avatar. Under the avatar on the right hand side, there is a function called "Add user to ignore list."

In one swoop, you can eliminate having to read any responses to someone you disagree with. If we can't be civilized, at least we can ignore.

Second, can we make an effort? If we are frustrated with someone, can we tell them on a level that wouldn't get most people deported in real life? There is a difference between being curmudgeony and being a prick for the sake of being one.

I also understand there is a breaking point. I've hit mine a few times here, and it's not a pleasant thing. All I ask is that we take the appropriate response before we turn the forums into such trash that we drive good members away because of overexposure to drama.

Sincerely,
-Flayed

[newb]

RIGHT.....Onwards and upwards my friends. In the immortal words of Bluto

"Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

What the fuck happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you're gonna let it be the worst. "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble." Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer...dead"

and for the record....I'm not an asshole :D

[The_Return]

Well said.

I've been admittedly pretty dickish lately...and I think I've offended some people that I really wish I hadn't. I think just one stupid post may have lost me the respect of a member here that I genuinely consider a friend, and that honestly saddens me.

We've all been overly sensitive lately. A lot of us that would normally stay on the sidelines are becoming shit stirrers and not even realizing it until it's already too late.

I know I can honestly say that I'm going to stay out of this shit from here on out, as I've done in the past...I hope others will follow suit.

[newb]

"dickish"....is that even a word?

[newb]

Well.......I think its that time again.....I know most of you are uncomfortable with this....but just let it happen.....c'mon.....its time for a















http://www.northernbrigade.com/files/uploads/395/group-hug.jpg

[The_Return]

"dickish"....is that even a word?

You're damn right it is!*



* now that I've added it to spell-check's dictionary

[monalisa]

Thank you thank you thank you!!!

Yes, that goes to all 3 of you!!!
Athough there's something a bit disturbing about that picture. :D

[_____V_____]

why do i have to bump this?

why do we need to have a regulary spat of bannings?

I started off with the quoted reply, nee, "addition" of Zwoti because :-

1 - The Stickied thread is closed.

2 - This thread's topic is the best place to address it.


We DONT need to have a regular spat of bannings, if the seeds of shitstorms were pulled out in the first place.

When someone, either a regular or a new member, posts something which might cause a problem, dissension, flame war, anything which would add to the detriment of HDC, the least it could be done is delete the said post. That would have sent a strong message to the said person that such kind of behavior will not be entertained, and there is always someone watching over you. You can argue and say that it would be categorised as "Behavioural Modding", but I call it - weeding the garden. Also, it would serve as some kind of a first warning too.

Such said posts often stay, and plant a seed of in-fighting. Which gets worse, and worse.

I know its not possible to scan or look through all the threads, but when a member approaches with a particular problem, it needs to be dealt with. Some members dont like reporting a particular problem - like Despare never reported (or reports, for that matter) - but that doesnt mean the problem doesnt exist.

Ignoring a problem will only aggravate it further. People get all sorts of ideas from a person's silence, whether dignified or deliberate. If the said person is a troll, or is causing trollish behavior, such silences will only strengthen their initiatives.

If this place needs to flourish and grow, people have to realise that they have to work together. Hand in hand. This is not my HDC, your HDC, his HDC, her HDC...it is OUR HDC. If one person thinks he's superior than all others, he's dead wrong. Same goes for someone who thinks he's an inferior. We are all contributing members here, and for some who need to learn the meaning of the word "contributing", I suggest looking at the older posters in here as a best example - Doc Faustus, Flayed One, Neverending, Urgeok, etc. Glaring examples. And if everyone tunes in together on the same wavelength, the "Ignore" button would cease to exist.

My 2 cents for whats it worth. If it offends anyone, feel free to delete it.

[Phalanx]

If we are frustrated with someone, can we tell them on a level that wouldn't get most people deported in real life? T

That's what I usually try for.
I can't help but think some things I've said recently may have contributed to the inspiration of this thread, but in all honesty I wasn't trying to cause anything or any ongoing negativity, an opportunity arose to "out" who we wanted to post less...not really wanting to go down that path instead I chose to try to constructively bring up a few points about a couple of posters and was trying to do so in the most civil way, explaining my thoughts and reasons behind the things I was saying.
Never said that I expected anyone else to adopt my views though.
I get that I wouldn't be the only person being referred to though, and I have seen things said in here that even I would consider a bit over the top lately, just wanted to get it out there that if it's the perception going, I'm not trying to be here to cause anyone any grief...I can be a bit straightforward but I hope there's a line drawn to the things I might say and an attack intended to cause ongoing issues - I'd just as soon avoid that kind of thing myself.

As for ignoring people, folks, you don't really need a function to do that - just pay no mind to that which you don't want to hear, and avoid the "fuck you, you're wrong" avenue.

[DraculaInDallas]

You can always count on me to be friendly!!!!!!! :)

[missmacabre]

I agree with everything said in this thread so far.

In relation to what has been going on recently, however, it's hard to fix the problem without fighting it out. When two people strongly believe they are doing the right thing, how do you discern who is to blame, and who deserves punishment.

I know the point here is to not name names but since Festered and I are on okay terms now that our issues have been put in the open I feel I can use us as an example:

I honestly thought that I was being helpful and giving a voice to what people were frustrated about in hopes that everyone could take it as criticism, try to change and move on. It wasn't my place to do so and I'm saying right now that I apologize to Festered, Nella and the forum in general for escalating, if not starting this mess. I like making people happy, and I like giving advice. The internet is a tricky thing and you can take the way something is written any way you want. I can honestly say I didn't start off trying to cause harm. I have also stated a few times that I was looking for a fight the night of NEs thread because I needed someone to lay blame on. It was wrong.

I also see all of you as close friends. I don't see how you could expect less after years of talking to you people. So I defend you when you don't have a chance to do so yourself, and am quick to back you up. I have learned to choose my words more wisely when doing so in the future.

What it comes down to is that I didn't think I was the cause of the incident. Festered truly believed he wasn't the reason this whole thing blew up either. Things were said by both of us that really hurt but we set that all side and know that as adults we need to set an example from now on.

EDIT:Festered is giving his input on the situation tomorrow after a good night's sleep. I'm not speaking for him, just making generalizations.

[Despare]

Sorry brother, I like the idea but I'm not all sunshine and cupcakes. I can be an ass, in real life and online I say what I feel and that's it. If people don't like that, too fuckin' bad, but I think MOST of the time I'm civil and sometimes even helpful. I don't know why it seems everybody want this place to be a flower planting, group hugging, emotional supportive fucking love fest but I couldn't stand that shit. I'm all for getting along but I'm not singin' any Partridge Family songs.

[X¤MurderDoll¤X]

Sorry brother, I like the idea but I'm not all sunshine and cupcakes. I can be an ass, in real life and online I say what I feel and that's it. If people don't like that, too fuckin' bad, but I think MOST of the time I'm civil and sometimes even helpful. I don't know why it seems everybody want this place to be a flower planting, group hugging, emotional supportive fucking love fest but I couldn't stand that shit. I'm all for getting along but I'm not singin' any Partridge Family songs.

yeah, really.

[ferretchucker]

Sorry brother, I like the idea but I'm not all sunshine and cupcakes. I can be an ass, in real life and online I say what I feel and that's it. If people don't like that, too fuckin' bad, but I think MOST of the time I'm civil and sometimes even helpful. I don't know why it seems everybody want this place to be a flower planting, group hugging, emotional supportive fucking love fest but I couldn't stand that shit. I'm all for getting along but I'm not singin' any Partridge Family songs.

I think I know what you're getting at. Because at the moment, it seems people want no arguments whatsoever. I think they can be helpful. But only about the right things. If there is a new member who is doing outright stupid and annoying things, they need to be told they are annoying people. But not totally bashed and have personal insults thrown at them.

If a regular member here begins saying things about their beliefs or just opinions and they escalate to the point they are being cruel and not respecting others, they need to be told. I think I agree mainly with what everyone has said, but it can't all be friendly, just constructive, respective and hopefully, for the most part, self controlled. Because that is what most of it has been about. Self restraint.

But I'm confident we can get out of this negative patch. We always do, and we're stronger for the experience.

[ferretchucker]

I was scanning through some threads and I noticed that both Nella and Festered have been banned. They might return, but I'm pretty sure they won't. I'm not that pleased about it, I thought they were both okay at times, but I suppose, since they're the center of the troubles, it had to be done. It's always a shame when a member is banned...especially since Nella was starting to get better.

[hellfire1]

Sorry brother, I like the idea but I'm not all sunshine and cupcakes. I can be an ass, in real life and online I say what I feel and that's it. If people don't like that, too fuckin' bad, but I think MOST of the time I'm civil and sometimes even helpful. I don't know why it seems everybody want this place to be a flower planting, group hugging, emotional supportive fucking love fest but I couldn't stand that shit. I'm all for getting along but I'm not singin' any Partridge Family songs.



LOL

Hear, hear!

[Zero]

well - first i am not an asshole - i am a monkey (i thought we'd established that).

second, i'd say part of the issue for me is people who come to HDC for like a week and then start creating chaos and then won't let it go. i think the longer you are here the more 'good will' and latitude you build up. so, if I, for instance, starting being really argumentative and negative I would hope that - after almost four years on HDC - i would get a bit of latitude in my behavior and some private messages asking what's up and why don't you chill out. but if someone is on the forum for just a few weeks or months then you haven't bulid up the good will necessary to put up with crap.

i'm not a big anti-noob person (I'll leave that to my buddy DinD) but - you should get familiar with the flow before trying to imprint your obnoxious opinions on the place

so that's my obnoxious opinion!

[Despare]

I was scanning through some threads and I noticed that both Nella and Festered have been banned. They might return, but I'm pretty sure they won't. I'm not that pleased about it, I thought they were both okay at times, but I suppose, since they're the center of the troubles, it had to be done. It's always a shame when a member is banned...especially since Nella was starting to get better.

It's no secret I didn't get a long with Festered but he was a contributor and I think his loss is worse than Nella's. Either way, those two being gone doesn't hurt anything and after this post you certainly won't see me mention either of them. I've now washed my memory of those things.

[monster123]

Festered picked way to many fights but i did like nella. I think a fresh start is a good idea. :) I've said and done some things on here that were very stupid and immature and i apologize i like pretty much everyone on here i say pretty much because i dont exacly know everyone on here but i know your all good people. I hope we can put everything behind us and definatly start over new.

[VampiricClown]

My ignore function has been very useful the past few months. Though I am rarely here anymore.

[Zero]

My ignore function has been very useful the past few months. Though I am rarely here anymore.


i can't hear you - you are on my IGNORE list!


ha ha


good to see you again VC

[VampiricClown]

i can't hear you - you are on my IGNORE list!


ha ha


good to see you again VC

:eek:

I'm on someones ignore list!?...Well, I'm sure I'm quite a few. :D

It matters not.

Good to see you around Zero. Hopefully I can get things sorted and be here more often. :cool:

[GorePhobia]

Damn I went away for two days and missed some stuff.

Just so I can feel in the loop can someone PM me a jist of what occurred by any chance because I am super curious?

[Disease]

Yep, I knew it, I leave you guys alone for a couple of days and there is a shitstorm...

[Zero]

Yep, I knew it, I leave you guys alone for a couple of days and there is a shitstorm...

hope you brought some toilet paper because there was a big load of shit around here.


but all seems settled again - good to have you back!