Urban Legend Fuel

[Vodstok]

Someone mentioning why Kentucky Fried Chicken was renamed KFC reminded me of this, and I havent started one of these threads in quite a while.

This is the idea: come up with something that is com[plete garbage, but is just weird enough to sound plausible, and post it as an urban legend. These always turn into pages of people posting existing urban legends, but that isnt what its for . TRY TO MAKE UP NEW ONES.

For fun, take some and post them as truth on other boards you may be a part of and see if they take off :D


I'll get it started:

New employees of Starbucks are required to read Moby Dick and write an essay about what it meant to them.

Since he is a descendant of Herman Melville (which is true). Moby sued Starbucks successfully for copywrite infringement for the use of the name. His suit against Battlestar Galactica's producers failed, but he has appealed the verdict.


... Moby is a tool, so a little bad press is deserved :p

[urgeok2]

As Newb insists, Dunkin Donuts made a mini donut before the Canadian donut chain Tim Horton's made theirs.

What most people don't know is the real origon of the name : Tim Bits.

Tim Horton, once a professional NHL hockey player (Toronto Maple Leafs, New York Rangers, Pittsburgh Penguins and Buffalo Sabres) started the successul chain in 1964 in Hamilton Ontario. But Tim Bits weren't introduced until summer of 1974, a few months after his death in a horrific car accident.

They were going to be called Tiny Tim's, but a distraught employee managed to obtain sone of Tim's flesh from what was left of the automobile wreck and baked the 1st several dozen Tiny Tims with a little piece of Tim Horton inside each one. The name was changed to Tim Bits and has been named thusly ever since.

[ferretchucker]

Johnny Depp once worked in Burger King but was fired as his boss thought he was far too creepy and would scare away the customers. Not long after, Depp gathered some money, took the case to court, won a large sum of money and bought a rival McDonalds to compete and eventually put the burger king out of business.

[Vodstok]

Bluetooth devices operate on a frequency that causes arousal in female dromedaries. A man was recently arrested in northern minnesota for using a bluetooth mouse to seduce an alpaca.


Microsoft has developed technology that allows hardrives to store 10 times their normal capacity with no performace problems, but has set up a deal for $10 billion with the major hard drive companies to keep it off the market so peopel have to buy newer bigger hard drives.

Madonna has talent.

[Doc Faustus]

Madonna has talent.
Madonna was replaced by a transsexual cyborg in 1996.

[Kemal]

A popular online dating service is a front for a government agency that is building a psychological profile of internet users.

[Psycom5k]

In 1987, a man by the name of Harold Ward discovered a process in which he could take regualr trash, that we throw into land fills everyday, and turn it into a cheaper and more efficient fuel than gasoline. Upon hearing about this, oil companies quickly pressured him into selling his patent for this for a large sum. Once he died they destroyed all evidence of this technology.

[ferretchucker]

Am illegal game released in 2003 by the name of "Pot Luck" was a special way of playing russian roulette, where an electronic gun system spun it for you. However, it was programmed to always land on the bullet and was the cause of several hundred deaths.

[Vodstok]

In 1987, a man by the name of Harold Ward discovered a process in which he could take regualr trash, that we throw into land fills everyday, and turn it into a cheaper and more efficient fuel than gasoline. Upon hearing about this, oil companies quickly pressured him into selling his patent for this for a large sum. Once he died they destroyed all evidence of this technology.
Nice twist on the car that runs on water. :)


CFCs are not really bad for the ozone: NASA and the government made this up to cover the fact that all ozone damage was done when they burned a hole in it with the space shuttle back in the 80s. The hole expanded like a popped balloon and the government panicked.

Martha Stewart discovered she really liked women during her tenure in prison, and has since started an incestuous lesbian relationship with her divorced daughter.

[Psycom5k]

Nice twist on the car that runs on water. :)



Hmmm you talking about the car that turns the chemical reaction of hyrdogen and oxygen into power to run the car, and the only bi-product is water? I've known about that for a while but no, I just made that one up straight out of my head because of the recent gas prices.

[Vodstok]

Hmmm you talking about the car that turns the chemical reaction of hyrdogen and oxygen into power to run the car, and the only bi-product is water? I've known about that for a while but no, I just made that one up straight out of my head because of the recent gas prices.
No, there is an urban legend about a car that runs on actual water instead of gas. the "Lone Gunmen" had an episode about it.

[Doc Faustus]

This year on Halloween, a group of right wing extremists will be handing out toothbrushes instead of candy. Do not accept toothbrushes, even if you know the person handing it out is a dentist! The toothbrushes are infected with a rare disease.

[Festered]

Viagra, and other sexual stimulants and prolonging agents marketed to the elderly, were developed in an effort to breed mature citizens for a new subclass of human slavery. These "wrinkle-babies" will be used to work in fast food, and other service industries, were skill and physical prowess are not required. Eventually, they will ultimately be processed into the very food they once served. Making for the perfect utopian employee.

[pinkfloyd45769]

Some of these are pretty good!I really like the car and toothbrush ones:)

[ferretchucker]

A Japanese Zoo owner who was obsessed with Hitchcock's "The Birds" managed to breed a type o bird that was a mix of hawk and crow that would go for humans eyes, however, the birds eventually killed him and several other workers at the zoo.

[urgeok2]

Migraine headaches are caused a a direct result of a healthy body's attempt to reject a sick brain.

[Vodstok]

Previous particle accelerators accidentally stumbled over a particle that was referred to as a "God particle", and subsequent tests gave them greater insight into how they work. The Large Hadron Collider was designed to study them further, and physicists have been amassing data that will prove conclusively the existance of God.


Evolution was a joke Darwin and the Pope of his time concocted to make athiests look stupid.

[ferretchucker]

Evolution was a joke Darwin and the Pope of his time concocted to make athiests look stupid.

Best so far!