Doctors Suck

[monalisa]

Hi. I hesitate to even bring this up because I’m afraid that idiots like bub the zombie will just have stupid tacky comments to say and nothing helpful, but I am looking for some advice. So fuck it, here it goes.

My dad was in a car accident last weekend and is still in the hospital. From all the testing they did at the hospital to check for injuries from the accident, they’ve found that he has kidney problems. When his regular doctor was consulted about it, he basically said that he’s noticed the kidney levels were high, but they’ve been that way for a while, so he didn’t feel the need to address it. Well fucking A, guess what, now since the accident he’s going through kidney failure and has to go on dialysis or will probably only have 1 or 2 weeks to live if he doesn’t go on dialysis. He’s decided to try dialysis, so that’s good.

What I’m having trouble with is the resentment I feel towards his doctor. My dad has had a lot of things going wrong lately that now we’re being told that are all symptoms of kidney problems, and his fucking doctor has been aware of them and just deemed them ‘normal for him’. Well, yah, normal for him if he has kidney problems.

A similar thing happened to my mom. She was complaining for a few years about losing weight, no appetite, generally feeling like crap and lots of digestive problems. Her doctor just blew it off and attributed it to her being old. Well then she ended up in the emergency room for severe abdominal pain. They found out she had pancreatic cancer and was dead 6 weeks later.

It just seems like doctors have the attitude that if a person is old, well they’re old and gonna die soon anyway, so who gives a shit. I’ll tell ya who gives a shit, the people that love them. And they wouldn’t die so soon so often if they got quality care from their fucking doctors.

Arrrrgggg, I’m so angry I could scream. I really try to look at the bright side, but it’s tough in situations like this. I’m just trying to focus on that dad is willing to try the dialysis and it will hopefully make him feel better so he can enjoy life again.

Got more long winded than I hoped to be, but any advice will be very much appreciated!

[Freak]

First I agree that alot of doctor's theses days dont sem to give a damn about you and only want your money.My family doctor is good at what he does but theres a few things he does that bothers me.When you in his office he talks and does things and asks question so fast it seems like all he wants is to get you out of his face.When he prescribes you something he alwasy says it'll help that's what I'm taking right now.If thats true he's the most medicated man in the world.I also dislike the the medical insurance crap here in the states.If you dont have insurance a simple little thing can cost you a ton of money.

There a few things about doctors and hospitals that I do like.When I had my gall bladder removed it cost almost 10,000.but we talked to some people at the hospital and got them to write it off as charity which was cool.The docrtor that did my surgery was one of the best doctors that I've ever meet.he really seemed like he cared about his patients.He listend carefully and answered every question that you had.He even offered to do the surgery for free when he found out I had no insurance.And everybody I asked about him had nothing but great thingss to say about him.

Second you should see if you have enough to bring a case against that doctor.

[Dante'sInferno]

Im sorry to hear that monalisa.I wish there was something i could do to help your Dad.Then i would,but ill say this,im going to wish him the best.I hope he gets through this.And Doctors like that need to be punished,no excuse.He could have atleast told you about it.But like Freak said,there are also some good Doctors in this world,i guess they're just hard to find.

It pisses me off that it seems that this world only cares about the almighty dollar.And have forgotton about human emotion,or to the point where they dont want the human contact and just want your money.I'm sorry i wouldnt want my family or myself in the hands of that kind of doctor.But,i wish him the best,i hope he does well.Give him a hug for me!

[ferretchucker]

I really don't know what to say. Here we don't have that as much as the doctors are paid by our taxes and not just you pay when you need help. So they're not as greedy. Sounds like the guys a dick. First, never use him and recommend your friends don't, and second, your dad needs you right now, worry about him. It would be a bad thing for him to see you stressed right now.

[monalisa]

Thanks for the support, I really do appreciate it.

I know there’s still good doctors out there, but yes, they are very hard to find. I grew up in the 70’s and doctors back then were much more personal and thorough. So that’s probably part of it, I wish health care was like it used to be.

I think another part of what I’m having trouble with is the whole aging parent thing. My dad used to be so strong and intelligent, actually he was kind of a prick while I was growing up. But now he’s this frail old man that needs help. Also he got very used to my mom being there and taking care of him and everything, and now that she’s gone, he wants my brother and I to take over. But a lot of things he could do for himself, but doesn’t want to. Like cleaning his bathroom and vacuuming and stuff like that. He just doesn’t want to do it. I don’t even want to bring my dog to visit cuz I’ve seen pills that he’s dropped on the floor and if my little dog ate one, it could make him very sick or kill him. And my brother and I have our lives too and shouldn’t have to do menial chores like that for him. So that’s been bugging me for a long time. But now, this whole kidney thing has happened and I feel guilty for every nasty thought or word I’ve ever had about him. And I’m so scared he’s gonna die, which I know is gonna happen some day, but it’s still very scary.

But, when I see him, I put on a happy face and am nothing but supportive to him. Right now, encouragement is what he needs to get through this.

[ChronoGrl]

For the doctor situation - I'm sorry. I truly am. It's a shitty situation when you feel as though you can't trust the person who you're putting not only your health but your family's health in. I've had a similar experience, but being angry at my doctor is simply not helpful. Though I can't say that I know how to deal with it. The fact is that I don't. I know that it's not necessarily helpful, but sometimes it's easier to be supportive to your family before worrying about the healthcare industry.


Thanks for the support, I really do appreciate it.

I know there’s still good doctors out there, but yes, they are very hard to find. I grew up in the 70’s and doctors back then were much more personal and thorough. So that’s probably part of it, I wish health care was like it used to be.

I think another part of what I’m having trouble with is the whole aging parent thing. My dad used to be so strong and intelligent, actually he was kind of a prick while I was growing up. But now he’s this frail old man that needs help. Also he got very used to my mom being there and taking care of him and everything, and now that she’s gone, he wants my brother and I to take over. But a lot of things he could do for himself, but doesn’t want to. Like cleaning his bathroom and vacuuming and stuff like that. He just doesn’t want to do it. I don’t even want to bring my dog to visit cuz I’ve seen pills that he’s dropped on the floor and if my little dog ate one, it could make him very sick or kill him. And my brother and I have our lives too and shouldn’t have to do menial chores like that for him. So that’s been bugging me for a long time. But now, this whole kidney thing has happened and I feel guilty for every nasty thought or word I’ve ever had about him. And I’m so scared he’s gonna die, which I know is gonna happen some day, but it’s still very scary.

But, when I see him, I put on a happy face and am nothing but supportive to him. Right now, encouragement is what he needs to get through this.

I agree - That's the absolute hardest part. I go through a similar situation with my mom every time that I see her.

But you have to think that you ARE supportive and you ARE there for him, but there's only so much that you can do. There's a point where he honestly has to start taking care of himself, and maybe it's time that you talk to him about that. Honestly - illness is difficult to deal with. He's probably identifying himself with his illness (especially after losing your mom). He's not only physically sick, but suffering from depression too. Not going to lie, it's not easy - but maybe talk to him about it.

And keep strong - This isn't easy. It's not. Take care.

[monalisa]

First let me say that I am truly sorry for any part I played in the icky shit/misunderstandings in the past weeks. But I am biting down my fear and pride cuz I really need some help here.

My dad got better for a while but then got worse again and is now in ICU with pneumonia and continuing kidney failure. I am so scared. It's not looking good at all.

Please, please, whatever supreme being you believe in, if you believe in one, please pray or whatever you call it for my dad. I want what is best for him. I of course want him to live, but I'm trying so hard not to be selfish. But I want to make sure any decisions he makes are informed decisons, and if there's a chance he can pull through this, I want to make sure he understands the facts and doesn't give up out of fear. Oh God, there's so many details, I just don't want to type too much so people don't even read this.

For now, just please, any support you can give will be much appreciated.

[crabapple]

I read your posts, I know you are doing your best to be strong. Sending my best wishes and thoughts to you, mona.

[Dante'sInferno]

I wish you the best!I will pray for you also!

[hammerfan]

Saying prayers for your Dad, monalisa. And for you to stay strong for him.

[Ferox13]

My father died from blood poisoning he got in hospital while being treated for cancer. It was weeks afterwards that we were informed that his death was nothing to do with his cancer but was infact from septicemia.

The Doctor on his case was an unfeeling cunt too.

On the side note his nurse was one of the nicest caring people i have met.

[monalisa]

My father died from blood poisoning he got in hospital while being treated for cancer. It was weeks afterwards that we were informed that his death was nothing to do with his cancer but was infact from septicemia.

The Doctor on his case was an unfeeling cunt too.

On the side note his nurse was one of the nicest caring people i have met.

I'm really sorry to hear about your father. That must have been so frustrating! I know how you feel!

[monalisa]

My dad passed away peacefully Monday, 10/06/2008, morning.

Fortunately the doctors and nurses that took care of him in the hospital were very very good. I wish he had that kind of care a few years ago, maybe he'd still be here. But that doesn't matter anymore. We did the best we could and when it became apparent that he was not going to recover and he didn't want to continue fighting what was happening to his body, we switched him to comfort/hospice care. That was Friday night/Saturday morning. He was very comfortable and relaxed and a lot of "I love you"'s were exchanged. And he died peacefully in his sleep Monday morning.

Thanks to everyone that responded to this thread, your support was VERY much appreciated.

[RipZiklicka]

That's too bad... I know I don't know you or anything, but you have my condolences.

[monalisa]

That's too bad... I know I don't know you or anything, but you have my condolences.

Thanks man, that's very kind of you. Stick around and have fun, things are usually more light-hearted than this.

[Leprucky Cougar]

My father died from blood poisoning he got in hospital while being treated for cancer. It was weeks afterwards that we were informed that his death was nothing to do with his cancer but was infact from septicemia.

The Doctor on his case was an unfeeling cunt too.

On the side note his nurse was one of the nicest caring people i have met.

Like everyone else, I give my condolences...I hope you all are looking in to a lawsuit, because of his cause of death...not assuming you guys are all about $--but I think that's a good enough case to sue that physican--if not the hospital itself.

It's always terrible to hear about a misdiagnosis. One of my relatives whom has TTP--it's a rare blood disease (presumably hereditary) which basically involves tiny blood clots to form in the blood vessels throughout the body; Anyway when they were in the hospital--because it's relatively rare and when they do the q&a right before they decide whether to admit you. The moment we said "blood disease," the arrogant physicans assumed he was an Hiv/Aids patient and almost misdiagnosed him. Luckily other family members were there to clear up the confusion.