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illdojo
06-23-2008, 10:47 AM
I know he's in the R.I.P. thread....but he deserves his own.
http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e107/illdojo/GeorgeCarlin-L1.jpg
"There's nothing funny about rape.....unless you're raping a clown."

I figure this can be HDC's favorite Carlin quotes thread........Bring em' on!!

newb
06-23-2008, 10:59 AM
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

ferretchucker
06-23-2008, 11:44 AM
Who is he?????

hammerfan
06-23-2008, 11:46 AM
Who is he?????


You're joking, right?

ferretchucker
06-23-2008, 12:03 PM
No. I honestly have never seen that guy before. Who is he?

hammerfan
06-23-2008, 12:06 PM
No. I honestly have never seen that guy before. Who is he?


*sigh* You're making me depressed, Gabe. It's George Carlin.

Psycom5k
06-23-2008, 12:08 PM
No. I honestly have never seen that guy before. Who is he?

British kids these days..... All so busy reading their Harry Potter books, playing with the sticks they found in the backyard, pretending they are wands...... freaking losers, they don't even know one of the best stand-up comics in history. Useless harry-potter-wannabe-punks!

ferretchucker
06-23-2008, 12:25 PM
*sigh* You're making me depressed, Gabe. It's George Carlin.

I apologise. I've never been that into stand up and, well, yeh. Never heard of him.

hammerfan
06-23-2008, 12:30 PM
I apologise. I've never been that into stand up and, well, yeh. Never heard of him.


I highly recommend going on youtube and looking up some of his videos. Not only is he dead on, he makes you laugh in the process.

The Mothman
06-23-2008, 12:42 PM
appalling! how could anyone not know of the legendary George Carlin! 40+ years of awesome standup. Rest In Peace George. you were a god among men.

Roderick Usher
06-23-2008, 12:52 PM
"I don’t have pet peeves, I have major, psychotic hatreds.”

illdojo
06-23-2008, 02:33 PM
"So their gonna get rid of toy guns in stores.....and their gonna keep the fuckin' real ones???!!!!"

Elvis_Christ
06-23-2008, 04:59 PM
Can anyone recommend a decent DVD of George for me to check out?

ChronoGrl
06-23-2008, 05:00 PM
I honestly almost cried when I read that today.

It's weird getting to an age when you actually know the celebrity who's died.

Cheers to George. My parents were huge fans and hence I grew up with botched Carlin quotes and poor impressions... But when I finally saw what they were talking about... I was blown away.

A genuinely intelligent, poignant and funny man.






At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.

illdojo
06-23-2008, 06:16 PM
Can anyone recommend a decent DVD of George for me to check out?

Anything he's done on HBO over the last 20 years rules!! I'm sure you could download some torrents..... He was a true visionary, Elvis. :cool:

The_Return
06-23-2008, 06:26 PM
Can anyone recommend a decent DVD of George for me to check out?

You can find a whole bunch of his shit on Youtube...easier than tracking down a DVD and quicker than a torrent.

The Mothman
06-23-2008, 07:47 PM
i have this book, its awesome.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/51/Carkin-hesus.jpg

anyone who is not familiar with george WATCH THIS!!!! it will make you a believer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeSSwKffj9o

X¤MurderDoll¤X
06-24-2008, 02:11 PM
I forget the joke, but it was about fat people fucking.

Roderick Usher
06-24-2008, 02:58 PM
Can anyone recommend a decent DVD of George for me to check out?

I loved Carlin on Campus, Carlin at Carnagie and You Are All Diseased

The Mothman
06-24-2008, 03:39 PM
You're All Diseased is a riot, i highly recommend it.

"Something else I'm getting tired of in this country is all this stupid talk
I have to listen to about children. That's all you hear about anymore,
children: "Help the children, save the children, protect the children." You
know what I say? Fuck the children!" And I also know that all you boring single dads and working moms, who think you're such fucking heros, aren't gonna like this, but somebody's gotta tell
you for your own good: your children are overrated and overvalued, and
you've turned them into little cult objects. You have a child fetish, and
it's not healthy. And don't give me all that weak shit, "Well, I love my
children." Fuck you! Everybody loves their children; it doesn't make you
special. : : : John Wayne Gacy loved his children. Yes, he did. That's not
what I'm talking about."

newb
06-24-2008, 06:05 PM
Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.”


“No comment” is a comment.


Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.



You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

cactus
06-24-2008, 07:15 PM
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

illdojo
06-25-2008, 05:17 PM
Here's something you never hear a guy say: "Stop sucking my dick, or I'll call the police!"

AUSTIN316426808
06-25-2008, 05:22 PM
I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” Anyone who can’t go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. It’s a simple philosophy, but it’s always worked in our family.

Roderick Usher
06-25-2008, 05:52 PM
there's a Carlin marathon going on right now on HBO

illdojo
06-26-2008, 07:14 PM
I'm a modern man. A man for the millenium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist, politically, anatomically, and ecologically incorrect. I've been uplinked and downloaded, I've been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside of downsizing I know the downside of upgrading. I'm a high tech lo-life. A cutting-edge, state-of-the-art, bi-coastal multitasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond. I'm new wave but I'm old school and my inner child is outward bound. I'm a hotwired, heatseaking, warmhearted cool customer, voice activated and biodegradable. I interface with my database and my database is in cyberspace, so I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive, and from time to time I'm radioactive. Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging the bullet, and pushing the envelope. I'm on point, on task, on message, and off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed. I got no urge to binge and purge. I'm in the moment, on the edge, over the top, but under the radar. A high concept, low profile, medium range ballistic missionary. A streetwise smartbomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties; I tell power lies; I take power naps; I take victory laps. I'm a totally ongoing bigfoot, slamdunk rain maker with a pro-active outreach, a raging workaholic, a working rage-a-holic, out of rehab and in denial. I got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant, and a personal angenda. You can't shut me up, you can't dumb me down, cause I'm tireless and I'm wireless. I'm an alpha-male on beta-blockers. I'm a non-believer and an overacheiver, laid-back but fashion foward, up front, down home, low rent, high mantinence, supersize, long lasting, high definition, fast acting, oven ready, and built to last. I'm a hands on, footloose, knee-jerk headcase, prematurely postraumatic, and I have a love child who sends me hate mail. But I'm feeling; I'm caring; I'm healing; I'm sharing; a supportive, bonding, nurturing, primary caregiver. My output is down, but my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash flow. I read junk-mail; I eat junk food; I buy junk bonds; I watch trash sports. I'm gender specific, captial intensive, user friendly, and lactose intolerant. I like rough sex; I like tough love; I use the f-word in my email, and the software on my hard drive is hardcore; no soft porn. I bought a microwave at a minimall; I bought a minivan at a megastore. I eat fast food in the slow lane. I'm toll free, bite size, ready to wear, and I come in all sizes; a fully equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle. I've been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double wrapped, vacuum packed, and I have an unlimited broadband capacity. I'm a rude dude but I'm the real deal, lean and mean, cocked, locked, and ready to rock; rough, tough, and hard to bluff. I take it slow; I go with the flow; I ride with the tide; I got glide in my stride; driving and moving, sailing and spinning, jiving and grooving, wailing and winning. I don't snooze, so I don't lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hardy and lunchtime is crunchtime. I'm hanging in, there ain't no doubt, and I'm hanging tough, over and out. :D :cool: