OMG...This Is SO True!!!

[bloodrayne]

I can't WAIT till Dustin sees this...These are some of the things that freaked him out when he first moved here...He's used to it now.



YOU KNOW YOU'RE A TRUE KENTUCKIAN WHEN:

Vacation means going north or south on I-75 for the weekend.

You measure distance in hours.

You know several people who have hit deer more than once.

You often switch from heat to AC in the same day and back again.

You see people wearing camouflage at social events including weddings.

You see people dressed in jeans and a t-shirt at restaurants that most people consider "dress up" places.

You leave your house, garage and cars/trucks unlocked.

You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend or wife knows how to use them.

You can't pass by a stranger without them acknowledging you in some way and saying "hi" or at LEAST nodding in your direction.

You sit on your front porch and people wave as they drive or walk by.

You ask a stranger something like, "How are you?" and you get ALL the details.

Someone in a store offers you assistance and they don't work there.

You have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number.

"Down South" means Tennessee to you.

Cincinnati is referred to as "the city" and you avoid crossing the river unless you absolutely have to.


Do you guys have anything like this about where YOU live?

[The STE]

You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend or wife knows how to use them.

Pff. I'm not from Kentucky and me and my g/f use jumper cables all the time.


The only thing like this about where I live is asking someone where they went to high school when you meet them.

[Ash's_evil_hand]

Pff. I'm not from Kentucky and me and my g/f use jumper cables all the time.

That sounds SOOO wrong! :eek:

[bloodrayne]

That sounds SOOO wrong! :eek:Hahaha...Actually, it sounds like fun :D


Come on guys, I wanna know a little more about what it's like where YOU live

[Disease]

I measure distance in hours, mainly because i'm always a passenger...

[The STE]

Bolded ones are especially true or apply to me specifically


You love toasted ravioli with Budweiser beer.

"Vacation" is a choice between Silver Dollar City and Lake of the Ozarks.

You can find Pestalozzi Street by aroma alone.

You can get anywhere in 20 minutes, except on highway 40.

You can debate for 30 minutes whether Missouri Baking or Marge Amighetti makes the best Italian bread.

You know what "Party Cove" is, and where the "lake" is.

You still can't believe the Arena is gone.

Your first question to a new person is, "Where did you go to High School?"

Your non-Dr. Zaiusan friends always ask if you're aware there is no "r" in "wash."

You know at least one person who's gotten hurt at Johnson Shut-ins.

You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in football.

You think the four major food groups are Beef, Pork, Budweiser and Imo's.

You know there are really only three salad dressings: Imo's, Zia's and Rich and Charlie's.

You'll pay for your kid to go to college unless they want to go to KU.

You would rather have a root canal without anesthetic than drive on Manchester on a Saturday afternoon.

It just doesn't seem like a wedding without mostaciolli. AND YOU PRONOUNCE IT 'MUSKACHOLLI'. The balance of the menu is ham, boiled roast beef, string beans with ham and of course pitchers of Busch Bavarian (class weddings have Bud)

You know, within a three-mile radius, where another Dr. Zaiusan grew up as soon as they open their mouth.

You know what a Pork Steak is...and what kind of sauce to put on it!

Everyone in your family has floated the Meramec River at least once.

A hoosier is someone that lives just south of Chouteau, not a person from Indiana.

You have made fun of Mike Shanahan and tried to imitate him ordering another cold, frosty Busch Bavarian Beer.

You have listened to Mike's broadcast on KMOX, while watching the game on TV and wonder what game he is watching. A tear forms in your eye as someone mentions their favorite Jack Buck story.

You've said, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity."

Your favorite summer treat is handed to you upside-down (This is true for me as well, but I doubt it's the same thing that whoever wrote this is thinking of)

You bleed Blue between September and May

[bloodrayne]

I measure distance in hours, mainly because i'm always a passenger...

I just realized that even at this forum whenever someone asks how far I live from something, I ALWAYS say something like "5-10 minutes", "an hour or so", or "It's about 15 hours from here"

I just now realized that Xperiment said HE lives about 2 hours from that haunted hospital (he lives in Kentucky), and Shauna (LittleMissScareAll) said that she has family about 25 minutes from us, and SHE lives in Kentucky, too...Everyone I know here also says they drive so many MINUTES to work, rather than miles...And I always tell people that the airport is 5-10 minutes from here when they ask...

I never thought anything about that before...I just figured it was normal...hmm

[bloodrayne]

You love toasted ravioli with Budweiser beer.

"Vacation" is a choice between Silver Dollar City and Lake of the Ozarks.

You can find Pestalozzi Street by aroma alone.

You can get anywhere in 20 minutes, except on highway 40.

You can debate for 30 minutes whether Missouri Baking or Marge Amighetti makes the best Italian bread.

You know what "Party Cove" is, and where the "lake" is.

You still can't believe the Arena is gone.

Your first question to a new person is, "Where did you go to High School?"

Your non-Dr. Zaiusan friends always ask if you're aware there is no "r" in "wash."

You know at least one person who's gotten hurt at Johnson Shut-ins.

You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in football.

You think the four major food groups are Beef, Pork, Budweiser and Imo's.

You know there are really only three salad dressings: Imo's, Zia's and Rich and Charlie's.

You'll pay for your kid to go to college unless they want to go to KU.

You would rather have a root canal without anesthetic than drive on Manchester on a Saturday afternoon.

It just doesn't seem like a wedding without mostaciolli. AND YOU PRONOUNCE IT 'MUSKACHOLLI'. The balance of the menu is ham, boiled roast beef, string beans with ham and of course pitchers of Busch Bavarian (class weddings have Bud)

You know, within a three-mile radius, where another Dr. Zaiusan grew up as soon as they open their mouth.

You know what a Pork Steak is...and what kind of sauce to put on it!

Everyone in your family has floated the Meramec River at least once.

A hoosier is someone that lives just south of Chouteau, not a person from Indiana.

You have made fun of Mike Shanahan and tried to imitate him ordering another cold, frosty Busch Bavarian Beer.

You have listened to Mike's broadcast on KMOX, while watching the game on TV and wonder what game he is watching. A tear forms in your eye as someone mentions their favorite Jack Buck story.

You've said, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity."

Your favorite summer treat is handed to you upside-down

You bleed Blue between September and May

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Dr. Zaius.AWESOME...Thank you!!!

[Disease]

I just realized that even at this forum whenever someone asks how far I live from something, I ALWAYS say something like "5-10 minutes", "an hour or so", or "It's about 15 hours from here"

I just now realized that Xperiment said HE lives about 2 hours from that haunted hospital (he lives in Kentucky), and Shauna (LittleMissScareAll) said that she has family about 25 minutes from us, and SHE lives in Kentucky, too...Everyone I know here also says they drive so many MINUTES to work, rather than miles...And I always tell people that the airport is 5-10 minutes from here when they ask...

I never thought anything about that before...I just figured it was normal...hmm


Maybe there's a little Kentucky in us all, scary thought!

[The STE]

Dr. Zaius traffic:

If you live in Dr. Zaius, you'll understand this. If you've ever visited Dr. Zaius you'll understand this. If you've never been to Dr. Zaius, consider this your Visitor's guide To Driving in Dr. Zaius.

1. There are 75 "official neighborhoods" in the City of Dr. Zaius. Dr. Zaiusans commonly give directions (especially for restaurants) to strangers based on these neighborhoods which aren't marked on any maps that are handed out by the tourist board, the AAA or Mapquest.
DUE TO RECENT INFO...THERE ARE 79 NEIGHBORHOODS IN THE CITY OF DR. ZAIUS..thanks Kevin

2. There are 54 school districts -- on the Missouri side alone - each of which has their own school bus system and scheduled times to block traffic.

3. There are 91 official municipalities in Dr. Zaius County. Each Municipality has its own rules, regulations, and often their own police departments.

4. More importantly, most have their own snow removal contracts so it's not uncommon to drive down a road in winter and have one block plowed, the next salted, the next piled with snow and the last partially cleared by residents wanting to get out of their driveways.

5. Snow plowing is never a problem in the City of Dr. Zaius. They plow nothing, and if the forecast calls for snow, they close everything. Except on "The Hill" (refer to #1 above) where each homeowner goes out to the street and shovels out one car-sized rectangle and then stands watch over it.

6. Any car parked longer than 4 hours in the city is considered a parts store.

7. The City of Ballwin actually proposed that drivers use connecting strip mall parking lots to get from place to place rather than drive on Manchester road to cut the traffic on Manchester.

8. Laclede Station Road mysteriously changes names as you cross intersections. As do McCausland, Lindbergh, Watson, Reavis Barracks, Fee Fee, McKnight, Airport Road, Midland, Olive and Clarkson. Gravois Road can only be pronounced by a native. Ditto for Spoede and Chouteau.

9. A Dr. Zaiusan from South County has never been to North County and vise versa.. West County has everything delivered.

10. No native Dr. Zaiusan knows that Lindbergh runs from South County to North County! And, if you tell them, they will not believe you.

11. Lindbergh belongs to every neighborhood except Kirkwood, who had the nerve to creatively change the name to "Kirkwood Road."

12. There are 2 interchanges to exit from Highway 40 onto Clayton Road and 2 for Big Bend. Stay alert,people!

13. If you need directions to O'Fallon, make sure to specify Illinois or Missouri. This is also true for Troy, Maryville, St. Charles, Springfield,Columbia....

14. The Page Avenue extension and Airport expansion projects took over 20 years to get approved and Dr. Zaiusans lost track of how many political figures claimed them as their own ideas.

15. Dr. Zaiusans were aghast when the federal government required them to redo the highway signs
to indicate that the federal highways went to cities in other states instead of local municipalities.

16. Drivers are starting to cut their OWN plates rather than go through the Missouri Department of Motor Vehicles to get new tags. You can also purchase tags from dealers behind QuiK Shops in the city. They are cheaper, the clerks are nicer, and the service is faster.

17. Lambert Field and Dr. Zaius International Airport really are the same place. The East Terminal, however, is a different place.

18. Highway 270 is our daily version of the NASCAR circuit. (Same goes for Highway 70.) You can go all four directions on Highway 270: North and South in West County, East and West in South County, and East and West in North County. Confused? So are the Dr. Zaius drivers.

19. The outer belt is Highway 270 which turns into Highway 255 in South County. The inner belt is Highway 170. Highway 370 is an outer-outer belt. Highway 40 is the same as Interstate 64 (but only through the middle part of Dr. Zaius).

20. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00 AM. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning. Never ever try to cross a bridge in Dr. Zaius during rush hour unless you have a sack lunch and a port-a-potty in the car.

21. YIELD signs are for decoration only. No native Dr. Zaiusan will ever grasp the concept.

22. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect, or has been on for the last 17 miles.

23. Construction on Highways 40, 64, 70, 255, 270, 44, 55 and 170 is a way of life, and a permanent form of entertainment.

24. All blue haired old ladies in Cadillacs (driving on Olive west of 270) have the right of way.

25. If it snows or rains? Stay home!!

26. It is called a rolling stop at any stop sign intersection. Only native Dr. Zaiusans can do it just right...

[newb]

We peeps from R.I. are most know for our speak.....such as



Bubbla - Drinking fountain

Cabinet - A drink made from milk, flavored syrup, and ice cream. Other parts of the US call this a milkshake or a frappe.

De boatayuz - more than one, less than three (literally: the both of you)

Grinda - sub sandwich

Idear - idea (this is one of the words that I frequently used when I was little...it's funny because I always knew there was something wrong with the way that I pronounced the word but I had heck of a time trying to figure out why it was wrong, hehe)

Jeet? - literally means "Did you eat?"...to respond in the negative, you would say "No, joo?" (no, did you?)

Jimmies - chocolate sprinkles...yummy :-P

Quahog - large clam

Roe Dylin - the name of the smallest US state

Roe Dylinda - a person from the state mentioned above.

Side by each - side by side

Throw me down the stairs my bag - an example of a phrase that might be said in Woonsocket

Yerp - the continent west of Asia, north of Africa,

[Roderick Usher]

In L.A.

You are awakened in the middle of the night by a moderate earthquake. Your reply: "That ain't even a 5-pointer" and go back to sleep.

You live 10 miles from work. It takes you 60 minutes to get home.

Walking out of Jamba Juice, you see that a movie is being shot on-location across the street.

You are not happy, or even slightly exited that there may be a movie star there. You just say, " They f*ckin better not be blocking my parking space."

You personally know at least 5 people with agents.

You personally know at least 3 people who have been in a movie or TV show.

You don't know ANYBODY who doesn't smoke weed.

You know what In N Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.

Any major movie star is picking out the best portobello mushrooms next to you at the grocers and you don't notice.

The guy at 8:30 in the morning at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.

You really can never be too rich or too thin.

The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday.

The workday starts at 10am...or whenever you get out of your therapy session.

Any invitation comes with, "Starts at 8pm or as soon as you can get through traffic."

You have never met a waiter that wasn't really an "Actor."

You never go to a coffee house without a copy of a script - any script.

It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH '07"

You call 911 and they put you on hold.

You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:30 tae-bo class.

A nurse can look at you in all seriousness and ask, "you don't drink or smoke, right?"

All the "cool gyms" allow pedestrians on the street a full-view of those working out. Literally, you can�t drive by Wilshire without staring into L.A. Fitness. Perhaps a new form of window shopping?

The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal.

Your babysitter recently played a babysitter in a movie.

Theres a sushi restaurant on every corner, even in Mexican towns.

One of your favorite pastimes is making fun of the 909.

[bloody_ribcut]

:) you know your a texan when.......


..you use cheetah blankets as curtains.

..children are properly strapped in car seats.

..you worked at what-a-burger.

..tupperware is in every cabinet.

..neighbors ask if they can plug in an extension cord for some electricity because they spent all there money on crack.

..your arrested for distrubution of an illegal substance.

..you chop off the head of your teacher because you think there's a computer chip in her brain.(austin sickness)

..mexicans steal stickers off your car at a flea market.

..refinery's are in your backyard.

..uncle paul gives you a job.

[bloodrayne]

You are not happy, or even slightly exited that there may be a movie star there.Haha...It's like that here, but not because we have a lot of famous people (we only get a lot of them during the Jim Beam Sweepstakes and Kentucky Derby, which are held about 5 minutes from my house), It's really just because everyone is pretty much treated equally here, no one gets 'star treatment'...They'd get the same wave, nod, or "hi" that anyone else does

You know what In N Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.OH...We have In N Outs...They're little convenience stores with gas stations..Or do you mean something else?

It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH '07":D That's just funny because it's always storming here (and we love it) We still do things the same way as when it isn't...Although, the summer before last, Seri and I headed out on 10-speeds on a warm, clear evening, and ended up coming back home soaking wet and dripping from a sudden storm that caught us about 15 minutes before we got back...We were laughing all the way through it...It was great

You call 911 and they put you on hold.
That's TERRIBLE (if you're serious...Are you serious, or is that a joke?)...If someone dials 911 here (even by accident...like the baby did), the police ALWAYS show up in about 2 minutes...Even if you don't say anything and just hang up the phone


@Newb...do you guys REALLY talk like that?...Now I get the Family Guy town name, Quahog


@ Sam...Is the word "warsh" really used there instead of "wash"?...In Kentucky it's the people that are in the southern parts that do that...Also, "counch" instead of "couch"

[The STE]

The only person I ever heard say "warsh" was my grandma.

[Despare]

You know you are from Michigan if...


1. You know what a 'party store' is.

2. "Vacation" means going to Cedar Point.

3. At least 1 member of your family disowns you the week of the Michigan/Michigan State game.

4. Half the change in your pocket is Canadian... eh!

5. You drive 86 mph on the highway and pass on the right.

6. Your idea of a traffic jam is 40 cars waiting to pass an orange
barrel.

7. You know how to play (and pronounce) Euchre.

8. It's easy to get VERNORS ginger ale and Sanders hot fudge sauce, and Faygo pop.

9. You know how to pronounce "Mackinac".

10. You've had to switch on the "heat" and the "A/C" in the same day.

11. You bake with SODA and drink a POP.

12. The movie "Escanaba in Da Moonlight" wasn't funny. You consider it a documentary.

13. Your little league game was snowed out.

14. The word "thumb" has geographical, rather than anatomical significance.

15. You show people where you grew up by pointing to a spot on your right hand.

16. Traveling coast-to-coast means driving from Port Huron to Muskegon.

17. You measure distance in miles not minutes.

18. When giving directions, you refer to "A Michigan Left".

19. You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but isn't that far from Hell.

20. Your year has 2 seasons: Winter and Construction.

21. Home Depot on any Saturday is busier than toy stores at Christmas.

22. You know when it has rained because of the smell of worms.

23. Owning a Japanese car was a hangin' offense in your hometown.

24. You believe that "down south" means Toledo.

25. You refer to Bad Axe as 'Nasty Hatchet'

26. The Krauts in Frankenmuth love to see pictures of your Christmas tree.

27. You lost your virginity up at Higgins or Houghton to some skank from Detroit.


And there are more heh.

[Roderick Usher]

OH...We have In N Outs...They're little convenience stores with gas stations..Or do you mean something else?



Nope, not that In-n-out

This is the best burger chain in the world. It's older than McD's but they don't have freezers for anything for but the ice that goes in the soda. Everything else is fresh.

Fresh potatoes are sliced in front of you for fries. Milkshakes are made from real milk & real ice cream. They only do burgers, fries & shakes.

Fan-fucking-tastic!

[Posher778]

You know you're in Suwanee when you wave to a friend while driving, and they flip you off in a fiery rage.

[crabapple]

i thought you were talking about the other, uh, in and out....um......you know.....the, uh....age-old rhythm of lust......

slinks out of room

[The STE]

Nope, not that In-n-out

This is the best burger chain in the world.

We have that 'round these parts, too. Here they call it Steak n' Shake, though.

[bloodrayne]

Nope, not that In-n-out

This is the best burger chain in the world. It's older than McD's but they don't have freezers for anything for but the ice that goes in the soda. Everything else is fresh.

Fresh potatoes are sliced in front of you for fries. Milkshakes are made from real milk & real ice cream. They only do burgers, fries & shakes.

Fan-fucking-tastic!
OH...We USED to have a place like that a long time ago...It was called GD Ritzy's...It was very expensive...It was only here for about a year...

[Posher778]

We have about 3476591237659269356123890658072358369587 starbucks...

[_____V_____]

You Know You're From California When...


The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.

You were born somewhere else.

You know how to eat an artichoke.

The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic.

Your car has bullet-proof windows.

Left is right and right is wrong.

Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.

You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it.

You drive to your neighborhood block party.

Your family tree contains "significant others."

You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

You don't exterminate your roaches, you smoke them.

You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance.

More than clothes come out of the closets.

You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.

More money is spent on facelifts than on diapers.

Smoking in your office is not optional.

You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach.

When you can't schedule a meeting because you must "do lunch."

Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks.

Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news.

You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

You'll reluctantly miss yoga class to wait for the hot tub repairman.

You consult your horoscope before planning your day.

A glass has been reserved for you at your favorite winery.

All highways into the state say: "no fruits."

All highways out of the state say: "Go back."

The Terminator is your governor

It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH"!!

Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones and iPods.

Its barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.

If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.

Finally...HEYY!!. . . is pot illegal?

[friday13thfan]

you know your from Lancaster county, PA when

Your idea of Chicken Pot Pie has nothing to do with a pie and you can't figure out why people might think it would.

Your driving lessons involved learning to avoid horse droppings.

You know at least 5 euphemisms for animal manure and at least 4 of them involve food.

You know how to cook, but not without butter.

You've ever missed school for the first day of deer season... but didn't get in trouble.

The following words mean something to you: Fire Hall Wedding, Chicken and Waffle Dinner, Fire-police, Wooly Bear Whoopie Pie

You spend at least 30 minutes every summer day complaining about New Jersey drivers.

You don't understand why people would ever want to see the Amish.

The local Post Office used to be a single-family home and they close between noon and 1 for lunch.

You have ever ended a sentence with "a while".

You do not giggle when you see the following signs: Lititz, Intercourse, Blue Ball, Bird-in-Hand

You've heard of 7-11 but you've never seen one.

You cannot buy beer and wine from the same store.

Park City has nothing to do with skiing for you.

Agnes 1972 means something to you and you can tell stories about it.

You pronounce Lancaster in "Burt Lancaster" differently from Lancaster in "Lancaster, PA".

You personally know many people with the name: Lapp Lantz Stoltzfus (or Stoltzfoos) Zimmerman Zook

Iced Tea for you is sweeter than Pepsi.

You know someone who repairs gasoline-powered lawn mowers, but is forbidden to own one.

You think Fasnacht Day and Groundhog day are national holidays.

You know that eggs are either white or brown... and you have a preference.

You think the Mississippi is just a tad wider than the Susquehanna.

You know who James Buchanan was.

You can pronounce "Ephrata."

You don't have to be told what Shoo Fly Pie is.

You go to the store when the milk is "all".

You think orange traffic cones are the natural foliage surrounding Route 30.

You have an uncontrollable urge to buy bread and milk when you hear the word, "snow."

You know the only way to make good fastnachts is to cook them in LARD.

You live within two miles of a plant that makes potato chips, corn chips, pretzels, candy or ice cream or that packages turkeys, beans or bologna.

You do things "once," as in, "I'll go check in the back room once."

You can stop along the road to buy fruit, vegetables or crafts on the "honor system."

YOUR turkey has "filling," not "stuffing" and most certainly NOT "dressing."

You know that chicken corn soup from a firehouse is the most perfect food on earth.

You say things like, "Outen the lights," "I'm calling off today" and "They're calling for snow."

You've heard of distelfinks and hex signs.

Red Beet Eggs makes your list of top ten favorite foods.

You pronounce "Suite" as SUIT, not SWEET.

You say you're going out to the shed "AWHILE," instead of "FOR AWHILE."

You only buy your beer and soda by the case.

You think the roads in any other state are smooth.

You know the Penn State cheer. (WE ARE...PENN STATE!)

Hearing horses clopping down a paved street doesn't bring you to the window to see what's going on outside.

You never see any Confederate flags except on the Gettysburg battlefield.

You prefer Hershey's chocolate to Godiva.

You consider Pittsburgh to be "out west," and you know the fastest way to Philly is the Turnpike.

School closings due to snow take the radio stations half an hour to finish because just about every town has its own school district.

When someone says 1972, you think, "Agnes," and when someone says 1979, you think, "TMI."

You call sloppy joes "barbecue."

You think Medium Rare equals Well Done.

When it snows, they put cinders on the roads instead of sand.

You only own three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.

You have ten favorite recipes for venison.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

The local paper covers National and International headlines on one page, but requires six pages for local sports.

You think the start of deer hunting is a national holiday.

You remember fondly days of youth known as, "Snow Days."

Words like: gumband, buggie, hoagie, chipped beef, scrapple, actually mean something to you.

You think Fasnacht Day and Groundhog Day are national holidays.

The verb "to be" is useless: "Does Fido need out?"

You know what a Turkey Hill is . . .
. . . and you've ditched school to hang out there.
. . . and they're the only place that sells your favorite beverage.

You've corrected all the errors while watching Witness.

"Dinner" and "supper" are different concepts entirely.

You reocognize "Twin Kiss" and "Freez and Frizz," knowing that Dairy Queen is a pale imitation.

Dutch Wonderland is neither Dutch nor much of a Wonderland.

WGAL is the source of all local celebrities and they create quite a stir when they shop in the supermarket.

The Green Dragon ain't no Chinese restaurant.

Three words: Red Beet Eggs.

You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Lancaster County friends.

[alkytrio666]

Nope, not that In-n-out

This is the best burger chain in the world. It's older than McD's but they don't have freezers for anything for but the ice that goes in the soda. Everything else is fresh.

Fresh potatoes are sliced in front of you for fries. Milkshakes are made from real milk & real ice cream. They only do burgers, fries & shakes.

Fan-fucking-tastic!
I was born in Cali...

I've got my "In-N-Out" t-shirt...:)

[dewaholic]

Bolded ones are especially true or apply to me specifically


You love toasted ravioli with Budweiser beer.

"Vacation" is a choice between Silver Dollar City and Lake of the Ozarks.

You can find Pestalozzi Street by aroma alone.

You can get anywhere in 20 minutes, except on highway 40.

You can debate for 30 minutes whether Missouri Baking or Marge Amighetti makes the best Italian bread.

You know what "Party Cove" is, and where the "lake" is.

You still can't believe the Arena is gone.

Your first question to a new person is, "Where did you go to High School?"

Your non-Dr. Zaiusan friends always ask if you're aware there is no "r" in "wash."

You know at least one person who's gotten hurt at Johnson Shut-ins.

You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in football.

You think the four major food groups are Beef, Pork, Budweiser and Imo's.

You know there are really only three salad dressings: Imo's, Zia's and Rich and Charlie's.

You'll pay for your kid to go to college unless they want to go to KU.

You would rather have a root canal without anesthetic than drive on Manchester on a Saturday afternoon.

It just doesn't seem like a wedding without mostaciolli. AND YOU PRONOUNCE IT 'MUSKACHOLLI'. The balance of the menu is ham, boiled roast beef, string beans with ham and of course pitchers of Busch Bavarian (class weddings have Bud)

You know, within a three-mile radius, where another Dr. Zaiusan grew up as soon as they open their mouth.

You know what a Pork Steak is...and what kind of sauce to put on it!

Everyone in your family has floated the Meramec River at least once.

A hoosier is someone that lives just south of Chouteau, not a person from Indiana.

You have made fun of Mike Shanahan and tried to imitate him ordering another cold, frosty Busch Bavarian Beer.

You have listened to Mike's broadcast on KMOX, while watching the game on TV and wonder what game he is watching. A tear forms in your eye as someone mentions their favorite Jack Buck story.

You've said, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity."

Your favorite summer treat is handed to you upside-down ([B]This is true for me as well, but I doubt it's the same thing that whoever wrote this is thinking of
You can get anywhere in 20 minutes, except on highway 40

You bleed Blue between September and May

Well this is my state. But the ones that apply to me are.......
You've said, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity"

Your first question to a new person is, "Where did you go to High School?"

You still can't believe the Arena is gone.

You can get anywhere in 20 minutes, except on highway 40

Damn Missouri is boring

[Amphibious Wretch]

You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian

You feel guilty throwing an aluminum can in the trash.

You use the words "sun break" and know what it means.

You know more than 10 words to describe a cup of coffee.

You know what a dry cappachino is.

You obey all traffic laws EXCEPT "keep right except to pass."

You know at least eight people who work for either Microsoft or Boeing.

You invite twice as many people as you really want to a party since only half will actually show up.

You know what Lutefiske is.

You personally know someone from Alaska.

You consider floating bridges a pain in the butt, not an engineering marvel.

You know how to pronounce "Sequim", "Puyallup" and "Issaquah."

You have roots in Oregon, Idaho or Montana, but wanted a high paying job.

You've tried to get a job in Alaska, especially a summer job only.

You think skiing always means being covered from head to toe, on snow or water.

You know at least three Microsoft burnouts, of which two are millionaires.

You use more than 5 words to order a cup of coffee. "I want to order an unleaded, double, short, skinny, wet cappuccino with a shot of Amaretto please."

A "designer" wardrobe comes from REI, Eddie Bauer, Lands End, and Birkenstock.

You consider it a sunny day if the sun is visible at some point of the day.

You've been "snow" skiing in the RAIN more than in the snow.

When you're discussing rainforests and volcanoes, you're NOT talking about Hawaii.

You Remember the Kingdome

You have tried to forget about WTO

You know how BLUE the skies are here compared to Eastern Washington

The guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like Phyllis Diller is really a trans named Eva Destruction that used to play with Hole.

You're still used to people not from Seattle asking you about the Seattle music scene, even though it was actually dead 5 years before they ever heard of it.

Your car insurance costs more because your neighbors don't have any!

Your mayor is straight, 1/2 your friends are gay, the man who delivers your mail has a bumper sticker that reads "when they pry it from my cold dead fingers....", and your Burger World drive thru order taker was a computer millionaire last week.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Seattle.

[Despare]

I liked this thread so I decided to bring it back to life.

Driving Tips When Visiting Detroit
For those planning to visit Detroit...

You must learn to pronounce the city name. It's Di-troit. NOT DEE-troit. If you pronounce it DEE-Troit then we will assume you are from Toledo and here for the country Music hoe-down.

Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Detroit has its own version of traffic rules... Hold on and pray!

The morning rush hour is from 6:00am to 10:00am. The evening rush hour is from 3:00pm to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning. Weekends are open game.

If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. If you're first off the starting line when the light turns green, count to five before going. This will avoid getting in the way of cross-traffic who just ran their yellow light to keep from getting shot.

Schoenherr can ONLY be properly pronounced by a native of the Detroit metro area. That goes for Gratiot too.

Construction and renovation on I-94, I-96, I-75 and I-275 is a way of life. Just deal with it.

If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect or they are "out-of-towners."

All old men with white hair wearing a hat have total right-of-way.

The minimum acceptable speed on I-696 is 85 regardless of the posted speeds. Anything less is considered downright SISSY. Oh, and don't even think of allowing more than one car length between cars!

The attractive wrought iron on the windows and doors in Detroit is NOT ornamental. "DO NOT get out of your car"

Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says "Keep honking, I'm reloading."

If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60 mph zone, people are not waving 'because they are so friendly in Detroit.' I would suggest you duck.

I-275/I-696 is our daily version of NASCAR.

It's not M-10, it's "the Lodge."

That's not a lake, it's a pothole.

If someone tells you it's on Outer Drive, you better hope you have a map.

The left turn is simple. If you want to turn left, go a 1/4 of a mile past your turn, get to the left, then make a left, then make a right. NOW you have gone left

[Zero]

it snows

in winter you complain about the snow

in spring you wonder when the snow will melt

in fall you wonder when the snows will start

in summer you wonder if the temperature is realted to how much snow you will get

the only time you talk to other people is when discussing the above

the only time you talk to neighbors is when helping to shovel out their driveway or push out their car - or when they are doing this for you

your main preoccupation is how long the handle on your snow shovel will last

you chuckle at the idea of global warming - but secretly pray to god it is true

you take particular joy in newcomers whom you can tease and taunt about the coming snow

no matter how bad the snow is you always talk about how its not nearly as bad as the winter of *fill in the blank*

snow boots are referred to as 'upstate guccis'

you get adept at stepping over the 'yellow patches' in the snow

you start winterizing the house in august
-(which reminds me i've got to start putting my weather stripping up)

[missmacabre]

You Know You're From Canada When...
You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk."
You understand the phrase, "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield."
You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.
You drink pop, not soda.
You know what a Mickey and 2-4 are.
You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars.
You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.
You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group.
You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
You brag to Americans that: , Jim Carrey, Mike Meyers, Tom Green, and many more are Canadians.
You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian!
You know what a touque is.
You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed" not "Zee".
You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan."
You perk up when you hear the theme song from "Hockey Night in Canada."
You were in grade 12, not the 12th grade.
"Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary and more polite than, "Huh?"
Winter. Whenever you want it. And then some.
There's German food, Italian food, Chinese food, Armenian food, American food, but NO Canadian food.
You like the Americans a little because they don't want Quebec either.
Contests run by anyone other than the government have "skill-testing questions" that winners must answer correctly before they can claim a prize. Canadian lottery winnings are non-taxable!
Everything is labelled in English and French.
Milk comes in plastic bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
You say 'aboot' not 'about'
There are more pages about Hockey than the news in the newspapers
You know what the plug at the front of the car is for
You can ALMOST understand what Jean Chrétien says
You know what are Tim Horton, Zellers and Canadian Tire
You have a canadian flag sewn on your backpack (unless you live in Québec)
You go overseas and insist that you are Canadian when people hear your accent to make sure they won't think you are American

[stygianwitch]

You know you're in England when:

If the sun comes out someone will point to that large yellow ball in the sky and say "what's that?" (to which the standard reply is....."dunno mate, i'm not from around here!")

You are on first name terms with Noah and his 3 sons, and their 3 wives (my berth is already booked :) )

In summer, the trains stop running because 'there is rain on the track - it makes the rails greasy!!!'

In autumn, the trains stop running because of 'leaves on the track'

In winter, the trains stop running because of 'snow on the track'

In spring, the trains stop running because....presumably 'they don't want to feel left out'

When driving you know you've crossed the county border into the West Midlands because the roads are in a really bad state of repair

You can't use snow chains because they will chew up the road surface (see above!!!!!) - think someone's having a laugh about that one

At the first sign of white flakes falling from the sky the whole country grinds to a halt

The bus timetable is the best work of fiction on the planet

If the sun comes out for more than 2 days there is a water shortage - the best excuse i've heard for this so far is that we had 'the wrong kind of rain!!!!!!!'

[Marya Zaleska]

I'm from the greater New Orleans area.

I actually was here in the suburbs for Hurricane Katrina. I was staying with a friend's sister at an apartment building in Metairie.

Fortunately I had very little damage and was able to return in about 4 weeks.

You know that you are in this area when you still see parts of town in rambles, empty homes with weeds as high as the roof. Also many business that were landmarks have not opened or may not reopen.

Pres. Bush comes down here alot and promises alot, but we never get what we entirely need. If the levees broke in Iraq, the funds would be sent immediately.

Then you have Sen. Craig from Idaho ( who recently resigned because of a sex scandal in an airport restroom) was definitley against our area.

Former Speaker Of the House Hastart stated that since our area was below sea level we should not rebuild. The Neterlands are under sea level and they have the means to protect their citizens.

Sen Ted Stevens of Alaska who is now under invesitgation got funds for a bridge to nowhere.

At present we need leadership down here. Hopefully we have a governor's race in October and that will be the beginning of turning this around.

True. It will take time from such a major man made diasaster. That's right! A man made diasaster! The levees were inadequate.

But things are starting to come back like restaurants, Mardi Gras, The opera and sympathy, the parks and there is signs of home repairs and many trailers in front of them.

The city is starting to come back. Be sure to come visit it. Come to the Mardi Gras. Come try the fine restaurants. Visit the historic French Quarter

I'm in costume as a Granny for my profile and signature photo. It was last years Halloween costume and next year's Mardi Gras outfit.

As you can see I still have a sence of humor and am still full of hope for our area.

This is a perfect time to make our area bigger and better. We just need to get rid of the crooked politicians.

[Marya Zaleska]

I can't WAIT till Dustin sees this...These are some of the things that freaked him out when he first moved here...He's used to it now.






Do you guys have anything like this about where YOU live?

I am very happy to comply!