PDA

View Full Version : Market Research...


Phalanx
02-15-2007, 07:09 AM
...A feild I worked in for a little while...
Not really something that ever gets you anywhere beyond developing a few office skills, a high tolerance for abuse, and a "pleasant/proffesional phone manner", I guess maybe helps the negotiation skills a tad, but IMO other than that, it'll do fuck all for you in anything other than gaining employment of the same sort.
Yknow...I got to a point that I was so damn sick of these jobs a few years back, that in my last job, I was just about faking every "survey", while sitting around doing nothing, or throwing stuff at my friends...never got caught out, and ended up so bored of it all that I just walked out one day, and that was it.

Anyhow, I met one of my former "colleagues" for the first time in a while the other day, and I got to thinking about how ridiculously stupid the job could be.
Got to thinking about some of the weird/fucked up questions I had to ask on occasion for certain surveys.

On a two-part product trial job for toilet paper...on the initial survey we had to ask "When you've been wiping with toilet paper, has your finger ever poked through?"

Another one was for viagara, or well, just before it came out anyhow...we had to speak to relatively elderly people, not just the guys, but if they weren't around, their wives...I had to ask many a 50+ woman how often they have sex and "do you think your partner suffers from erectile dysfunction?"

The last one I can remember was asking about people who grow plants, flowers, shit like that...I think it was for a large gardening products client.
One of the lines of questions was "Do birds or butterflies visit your garden area on a regular basis?"..."Do you do anything to encourage birds?" "Do you do anything to encourage butterflies" (heeeeere butterfly?), then asked them what type of birds they had visit their garden, and what it was they liked about the birds, and butterflies...
It was so stupid that every time I did this one, I started laughing.

So, those are all that comes immediately to mind, but there was plenty more...so, thought I'd write some about it, and then see if anyone that's actually responded to any of these things has had strange or funny questions or experiences while doing so?
Anyone?

Roderick Usher
02-15-2007, 07:27 AM
While struggling as an actor I used to make good money on the Market Research Circuit. I'd do three a week, picking up $100 a pop.

But then I had a crisis of conscience. The same one that lead me to calling my commercial agent and telling her that I couldn't do commercials anymore.

I don't want to help anyone sell anything. Ads are all lies and manipulation created to make you think you can't live without a product that you, essentuially, do not need. I couldn't take money helping the experts narrow in on thier "target demo" any more and quit doing the focus groups (and acting in commercials.)

Gus
02-15-2007, 12:07 PM
i was a telemarketer once, whenever id reach a young sounding girl she'd start feeling up my legs with her voice.

Phalanx
02-15-2007, 03:30 PM
Kinda...messed up are you?

C'mon, I know at some point most of you woulda humoured one of these places, not sales, just the question stuff...I feel there's weird tales to be told here...

stubbornforgey
02-15-2007, 04:44 PM
oh hell...

the silliest things i was ever asked..
how many times a day does your household flush the toilet..?
(waste management survery)



telecom promotion:
if you sign up with us today..we will give you 1 free cell phone..
all the new features..all yours for free.
however..you must sign up to a 3 yr contract for the the ph.


oh and who could forget the water survey:
How many ppl in your household shower or bathe together??

crabapple
02-15-2007, 04:50 PM
What is it that you LIKE about the biiiiiiirds and buuuutterflies!

I like them because they fly around and go tweet tweet tweet tweet. Wheeeeeooooooo! Whoop! That's why I like them. I like them because they are friendly!!!!!!!

Disease
02-16-2007, 04:12 AM
Yeah , I was doing market research for around three years. The company I worked at in Sydney was basically a small social scene, where I knew half the people there on any given shift from different parts of life. I never did much work there, it was just more so somewhere we all hung out and got paid for it. But I don't realy want to talk about market research.

The Flayed One
02-16-2007, 05:13 AM
Silliest one I ever got:

A woman called me and asked me if I had time to take a survey regarding sports. I said sure, figuring she'd be asking me what sports I liked the most, how often I watched them, blah blah blah.

She went on for 15mins asking me questions about product sponsorship for basketball. I never watch the NBA, so I had no idea. Conversation went like this:

Her: What is the official drink of the NBA?
Me: Ummmm....Gatorade?

Her: What is the official razor of the NBA?
Me: I don't know...Gillette?

Her: What is the official motor oil of the NBA?
Me: The NBA has an official motor oil?
Her: Yes, sir. Do you know?
Me: I don't even know if I know the name of any brand of motor oil. I don't drive.
Her: Could you guess?
Me: Ummm...is there one called Penzoil?
Her: Yes.
Me: I'll take that one, I guess.

Her: What is the official shoe of the NBA?
Me: Ma'am, I think I might be wasting your time. I've never watched an entire NBA game.
Her: Ever?
Me: Not once.
Her: Could you hold, please?

Then she hung up on me! I never thought I'd be the one getting hung up on!

VampiricClown
02-16-2007, 10:56 AM
Silliest one I ever got:

A woman called me and asked me if I had time to take a survey regarding sports. I said sure, figuring she'd be asking me what sports I liked the most, how often I watched them, blah blah blah.

She went on for 15mins asking me questions about product sponsorship for basketball. I never watch the NBA, so I had no idea. Conversation went like this:

Her: What is the official drink of the NBA?
Me: Ummmm....Gatorade?

Her: What is the official razor of the NBA?
Me: I don't know...Gillette?

Her: What is the official motor oil of the NBA?
Me: The NBA has an official motor oil?
Her: Yes, sir. Do you know?
Me: I don't even know if I know the name of any brand of motor oil. I don't drive.
Her: Could you guess?
Me: Ummm...is there one called Penzoil?
Her: Yes.
Me: I'll take that one, I guess.

Her: What is the official shoe of the NBA?
Me: Ma'am, I think I might be wasting your time. I've never watched an entire NBA game.
Her: Ever?
Me: Not once.
Her: Could you hold, please?

Then she hung up on me! I never thought I'd be the one getting hung up on!

That, I must say, is pretty funny.