When's a friend not a friend? When they're selling stuff!!

[heebiejeebies]

It takes a lot to throw me for a loop, but something a "friend" of mine has done really takes the cake as far as I'm concerned. You read and let me know if I'm overreacting.

A friend of mine from high school/college lives out of state. I don't get to see her very often, but I make a point of sending her birthday cards, Christmas cards, e-mails, etc. For the first few years of her son's life I even sent him birthday cards. She, however, occasionally (and I use that word loosely) remembers me in turn.

About two months ago I got an e-mail from her out of the blue. It started out all friendly with her updating me on her job, her husband's school year (he and I are both teachers), and her son. I was really impressed until she launched into this sales pitch for a product she's decided to start selling in her spare time. Now, I really wouldn't have minded if some of my other friends had pulled this - they at least get in touch with me on a semi-regular basis - but I thought this was rude. I responded as politely as I could because I'm not one for confrontation. I thought that would be the end of it, but it gets better.

She came home over the holidays. Another e-mail letting me know that her mom is throwing a party so she can sell this stuff while she's home, and I'm invited. She gives me all the details: time, place, etc. She even gives me her cell phone number so I can call to let her know if I can come. As an afterthought she adds that if I can't make the party I can come by and see her before she leaves; she "really" wants to get together.

Question: Am I being overly picky? Should I say something to her and let her know I feel kind of used? (Quite honestly I don't think it would make a difference.) Has anything like this happened to you, and what did you do about it?

I think I feel better just getting it off my chest. Thanks.

[Phalanx]

HOOBAJOOBA!

What's the product? Is it sexual? Will she give free demonstrations, eeeeh?
I dunno...the situation seems a little annoying, evidently she's not putting your friendship first, only really saying she is, especially if, as you say, contact has been infrequent...Up to you really, I suppose you could refuse the "party" thing, and meet up later (that is, unless she changes her tune when you decline), see how things go then?
Either way you'd be aware of how things stand in future.

[X¤MurderDoll¤X]

drop her with a left hook POW!


don't let people use you... stop with the cards and the emails and don't go to her stupid sales pitch party.

[heebiejeebies]

HOOBAJOOBA!

What's the product? Is it sexual? Will she give free demonstrations, eeeeh?
I dunno...the situation seems a little annoying, evidently she's not putting your friendship first, only really saying she is, especially if, as you say, contact has been infrequent...Up to you really, I suppose you could refuse the "party" thing, and meet up later (that is, unless she changes her tune when you decline), see how things go then?
Either way you'd be aware of how things stand in future.

No, it's not sexual.:p It's a skin care line. Call me a hypocrite and a weenie because I ignored her e-mail until after I knew she'd gone back home. Then I e-mailed her and apologized for not checking my e-mail in time for a get together. FYI: She didn't hold it against me...I have a skin care "kit" coming within a few days.:D

[heebiejeebies]

drop her with a left hook POW!


don't let people use you... stop with the cards and the emails and don't go to her stupid sales pitch party.

Getting walked all over is what I do best. In my defense, however, I'm getting somewhat better...this case excluded.

[neverending]

One of my college instructors, someone I had worked with on several theatrical and film projects got back in touch with me a few years after we had fallen out of touch. He really wanted to see me too. Found out from other people he had gotten in touch with them too and wanted to see all of them....

To introduce them to the joys of AMWAY.

These companies instruct their "distributors" in how to get their prodect moving, and it always starts with "call everyone you have ever known"...

[ShankS]

It takes a lot to throw me for a loop, but something a "friend" of mine has done really takes the cake as far as I'm concerned. You read and let me know if I'm overreacting.

A friend of mine from high school/college lives out of state. I don't get to see her very often, but I make a point of sending her birthday cards, Christmas cards, e-mails, etc. For the first few years of her son's life I even sent him birthday cards. She, however, occasionally (and I use that word loosely) remembers me in turn.

About two months ago I got an e-mail from her out of the blue. It started out all friendly with her updating me on her job, her husband's school year (he and I are both teachers), and her son. I was really impressed until she launched into this sales pitch for a product she's decided to start selling in her spare time. Now, I really wouldn't have minded if some of my other friends had pulled this - they at least get in touch with me on a semi-regular basis - but I thought this was rude. I responded as politely as I could because I'm not one for confrontation. I thought that would be the end of it, but it gets better.

She came home over the holidays. Another e-mail letting me know that her mom is throwing a party so she can sell this stuff while she's home, and I'm invited. She gives me all the details: time, place, etc. She even gives me her cell phone number so I can call to let her know if I can come. As an afterthought she adds that if I can't make the party I can come by and see her before she leaves; she "really" wants to get together.

Question: Am I being overly picky? Should I say something to her and let her know I feel kind of used? (Quite honestly I don't think it would make a difference.) Has anything like this happened to you, and what did you do about it?

I think I feel better just getting it off my chest. Thanks.

You've already partly done what I'd advise you to do, and thats respond politely letting her know you're not interested. The same goes for the party thing. Tell her you're otherwise engaged.

[stubbornforgey]

Call me arrogant .but i don't see any problem there.
What i see is a friend asking another freind to help her out with trying to
sell skin care products..to help build up a clientele.
The best way to practise selling these products is to test it out on your family and friends..plus the speech they must go through in order to make a sale.
Whose the let-down here..as a friend??
You lied to her instead of being straight up with her.
So what that she doesn't contact you on a regular basis..the fact is
she approached you and you took this as a way of being insulted. 'shrug'


and this is why i don't have female friends.

[Phalanx]

I would agree there if it weren't for the initial lack of contact...

[ShankS]

I would agree there if it weren't for the initial lack of contact...

yeah, always be wary of the ulterior motive http://img68.imageshack.us/img68/4332/suspectnw6.gif

[stubbornforgey]

I find that the bestfriend is the one you have least contact with
as you get to enjoy each others company when you do see eachother.

[heebiejeebies]

Call me arrogant .but i don't see any problem there.
What i see is a friend asking another freind to help her out with trying to
sell skin care products..to help build up a clientele.
The best way to practise selling these products is to test it out on your family and friends..plus the speech they must go through in order to make a sale.
Whose the let-down here..as a friend??
You lied to her instead of being straight up with her.
So what that she doesn't contact you on a regular basis..the fact is
she approached you and you took this as a way of being insulted. 'shrug'


and this is why i don't have female friends.

I'm certainly not holding myself up as the ideal friend (I have a few faults of my own:)), but I've always made the effort to keep the lines of communication open...even when it didn't seem that she was trying all that hard. I made all kinds of excuses for why she didn't keep in touch with me: work, husband, son, etc. Then I heard all kinds of stories (from her) about all the things she does with people in her new "hometown." And as I stated in one of my previous posts, I wouldn't have been at all upset if one of my friends who does make an effort to talk to me, e-mail me, etc. had asked. In fact, I have helped other friends with Avon, Pampered Chef, etc. I just found it "funny" that she couldn't find the time to contact me the majority of the time but could fire off four e-mails over the course of a month (and that's a record) to sell me on this skin care stuff. I do feel guilty about how things played out because I don't like lying, but I just felt used. It's kind of hard to explain. I got the distinct feeling that she got in contact with me because I'm a pushover and would be an easy sell. I don't think she dug my e-mail address out of the pile because she wanted to "get together." But all is not lost. She's sending me the skin care kit, so she's that much closer to a sale.