Who gives a rip?

[monalisa]

How many of you out there really gives a shit what people say or think? I know I'm guilty of both taking things too personally sometimes and being too callous other times. OK, I'll be honest, sometimes I'm whiney and sometimes I'm a complete bitch. Every now and then, I'm halfway normal, whatever that is. :p

So I was just curious, who really gives a fuck or not and how does it make you react?

[Geddy]

I don't really care about what people think of me, unless they're my family or friends but if they're just people I know I don't care what they say or think.

[crabapple]

Kind of depends on the situation. Often I do care, sometimes I really don't, depends on the person who is talking and where they're talking from.

[Spallalala]

I have copped verbal abuse since highschool so now I have grown up and just don't give a shit what someone says about me. They don't like me haha whatever. I just laugh at the fucker and they get kinda weirded out cos im not getting upset at them. Im honest with people up front too and if someone shits me well there gonna fucking hear about it. :)

[Elvis_Christ]

I have copped verbal abuse since highschool

What was your nickname?

[urgeok]

i didnt think this subject was about 'what people think about me'
i thought it was about 'do you care what people think'


when it comes to blatant stupidity, i prefer people keep it to themselves.
it comes off as a 'written fart' as unpleasant to read as it would be to smell.

i also cant tolerate racist remarks, offensively sexist remarks, homophobic remarks, etc .. all which are extreme examples of stupidity.

i'm really not interested into getting in a forum fight - but i do wish to express how i feel.

I think apathy is almost as dangerous as stupidity.

[Spallalala]

What was your nickname?

Oh the obvious stupid ones. Annabanana, goanna uh..then there was cunt, bitch, faggot ( why I will never know ). I was never liked in highschool just cos I wasn't a skinny bitch who took drugs. Well fuck them I say haha. They all have 2 or 3 kids now and no man to help them out.

Im always reacting with a laugh just to confuse them.

[monalisa]

i didnt think this subject was about 'what people think about me'
i thought it was about 'do you care what people think'


when it comes to blatant stupidity, i prefer people keep it to themselves.
it comes off as a 'written fart' as unpleasant to read as it would be to smell.

i also cant tolerate racist remarks, offensively sexist remarks, homophobic remarks, etc .. all which are extreme examples of stupidity.

i'm really not interested into getting in a forum fight - but i do wish to express how i feel.

I think apathy is almost as dangerous as stupidity.

I just brought it up for discussion. If folks want to respond about what they think people think about them instead of if they care what people think in general, that is fine with me.

Apathy, empathy, compassion or something closely related. Feel free to comment on any or all of it.

[urgeok]

well, in that case :

i couldnt care less what someone i already figured to be an asshole (by his or her actions/words) thinks about me.

i'd be dissapointed if someone i liked and respected didnt like me...
(even on the forum)

[monalisa]

well, in that case :

i couldnt care less what someone i already figured to be an asshole (by his or her actions/words) thinks about me.

i'd be dissapointed if someone i liked and respected didnt like me...
(even on the forum)

I agree with you once again, but I'm not gonna add you to my sig again. ;)

[slayer666]

It seems like it kind of depends on the context. Then again, if I cared all that much what others thought, I probably wouldn't be so open about my atheism.

[monalisa]

It seems like it kind of depends on the context. Then again, if I cared all that much what others thought, I probably wouldn't be so open about my atheism.

Well, that's part of the beauty of an online forum where you all share at least one common interest. Hopefully people will be open minded enough to talk about anything and not judge people.

[Haunted]

We all have our "buttons." I think even if someone on this dinky forum pushed a peron's button then there might be some retribution from even the most stoic of members.

[monalisa]

Oh c'mon people, don't be chicken! Say how you feel and don't be so candy-assed about it.

[Haunted]

Well, Mona, you know it's obvious that what people say does get under the skin here at HDC.;) Otherwise people wouldn't argue here. People say that they don't give a shit, but it's not really true. It can't be. On some level, what someone says to you is going to have an impact be it positive or negative.

[Vodstok]

In the daily grind, i dont really care what people think. On some level, i AM looking for a certain amount of outside approval, probably because growing up i got a lot of "If it doesnt have to do with you getting good grades, i dont want to hear about it." from my mom, which happened quite a bit during my creative peak in high school.

I ended up living a very segregated existance when we lived in germany, the closest friend i had lived over an hour away (by bike), and i generally couldnt get a ride to their house.

On top of everything else, i was an akward kid in school, and while i had fairly well developed social skills and was well regarded by most other kids, i made friends with rejects because they were more to my liking and had similar interests, so i would catch shit for that.


And on top of it all, my sister turned into quite a mean-spirited bitch while we were over there amnd seemed to really enjoy shitting on my self-esteem whenever she could. Of course, if someone else picked on me, she acted like my savior, but i think she just liked giving people shit, and it was another excuse to be a bitch.

I developed a wall against other people's opinions. if it's negative and not constructive at all, then whatever. If it's positive, then i eat it up, hence my shameless plugging and pimping of my website, my stories, my kid, my wife... etc...

[Vodstok]

Well, Mona, you know it's obvious that what people say does get under the skin here at HDC.;) Otherwise people wouldn't argue here. People say that they don't give a shit, but it's not really true. It can't be. On some level, what someone says to you is going to have an impact be it positive or negative.

I admit, i get a real kick out of getting some people riled up here. trendkill was like a small animal in a cage who i couldnt resist poking with a stick to see him freak out. I think there may be a canadian gentleman here who has the same affinity for torturing people.... I think he may also be named Dave....

[illdojo]

MOTHER FUCK what people think or say about you and never fixate on the past. Life is way too short. We live in crazy times. So I choose to self-medicate.

[Vodstok]

MOTHER FUCK what people think or say about you and never fixate on the past. Life is way too short. We live in crazy times. So I choose to self-medicate.

No offence, but that is just as bad as dwelling on the past.

its funny, thi smakes me think of the whole "Sticks and stones may break my bones" thing. It's bullshit. They teach you that when you are a kid and dont have the experience or confidence to really build a mental wall against outside influence. The ability to let things go, and confidence in general is built from the outside in when you are little. if you arent protected, then people will rarely develope a sense of self-worth, which is necessary for confidence.

alot of people these days raise kids with a strong sense of self worth because they are trying to make sure the next generation doesnt have to deal with the same crap they did. i know my wife and i are trying as hard as we can, we both suffered a lot as kids, and "Get over it" just doesnt work. We spend our entire lives trying to undo damage done to us as kids, whether we are aware of it or not.

Poeple who have genuine confidence are blessed, and it is not as common as i think some people would like to think. A lot of "Confident" performers are actually screaming for outside approval on some level. i know i am.

The other thing is, that if words cant hurt, then explain the whole bully and school shootingphenomenon.

[Phalanx]

Re: Thread topic.
Depends on the person, depends on the situation.
If it's a person you're close to, or in alternate cases want to be close to, I think the general feeling is that it would be good if they held you in at least fair esteem, and that if they didn't it might be a little dissapointing...
Perhaps if it's someone you look up to, or admire, or perhaps one that you feel you have something of importance to learn from, I think the situation would be more comfortable if you got the vibe that they deemed you worthy of their company/expertise.
Of course, it's not always a two way street there, as I'm sure many of you are aware...I guess the important thing down the line is to figure out whether in each case, that's indicative of simple personality incompatability, or something about yourself that you could/should change, and whether or not this person/relationship would be worth making said changes over, and furthermore if those changes would actually yeild results you consider sufficient. Sometimes there's nothing you can do, in which case, it's probably best not to take it to heart anyways, I think any kind of successful relationship, be it business or personal has to be at least someplace near equal participation/regard...if it's not...then it's not really worth all that much in the first place, and nothing you should dwell on any longer than neccessary...it'll just do your head in, when there's no answer you'll really ever arrive at, and be happy with.

Other than that, who really matters?
I wouldn't be cut up about it if somebody that I wasn't seeking friendship with, or say, didn't feel that I had anything to gain from, seemed like they didn't like me, or thought ill of me...what would be the point?
But I think it's important to mention here that just because certain behaviour, or views deliberately shoved in ones face can evoke a reaction, doesn't mean that a person is taking things personally, or to heart...a common misconception 'round these parts.

[monalisa]

Re: Thread topic.
Depends on the person, depends on the situation.
If it's a person you're close to, or in alternate cases want to be close to, I think the general feeling is that it would be good if they held you in at least fair esteem, and that if they didn't it might be a little dissapointing...
Perhaps if it's someone you look up to, or admire, or perhaps one that you feel you have something of importance to learn from, I think the situation would be more comfortable if you got the vibe that they deemed you worthy of their company/expertise.
Of course, it's not always a two way street there, as I'm sure many of you are aware...I guess the important thing down the line is to figure out whether in each case, that's indicative of simple personality incompatability, or something about yourself that you could/should change, and whether or not this person/relationship would be worth making said changes over, and furthermore if those changes would actually yeild results you consider sufficient. Sometimes there's nothing you can do, in which case, it's probably best not to take it to heart anyways, I think any kind of successful relationship, be it business or personal has to be at least someplace near equal participation/regard...if it's not...then it's not really worth all that much in the first place, and nothing you should dwell on any longer than neccessary...it'll just do your head in, when there's no answer you'll really ever arrive at, and be happy with.

Other than that, who really matters?
I wouldn't be cut up about it if somebody that I wasn't seeking friendship with, or say, didn't feel that I had anything to gain from, seemed like they didn't like me, or thought ill of me...what would be the point?
But I think it's important to mention here that just because certain behaviour, or views deliberately shoved in ones face can evoke a reaction, doesn't mean that a person is taking things personally, or to heart...a common misconception 'round these parts.


I have to admit, that I always do what I call "self checks", in other words, I always think could I have done or said something different or better in whatever case. and I tend to do that wherever I interact with people. Granted, I'm guiltly of caring too much about people and "the world according to Kathy" would be a very caring and fun and safe place to live. But that's not reality. I think everyone can only take care of their own little space in the world and hope others do the same in a positive way (call me PollyAnna). But I also know that I care too much a lot and just need to let it roll off my back like a duck to water more. Does that mean I need to care less, yes. And I find that kind of sad.

[VampiricClown]

Don't know, don't care.

If someone finds a problem with me, so be it, that's there concern, not mine.

[urgeok]

people forget the 'pen is mightier than the sword' thing.

there are several reasons for revealing your thoughts on a forum .. some of those reasons are especially not healthy - when they are poisoned thoughts.


- are you trying to influence others ?

sure, the more stable/mature people realize its only a forum - and come here for info - to share info - to see who likes the same things as you and get good vibes off of the shared entheusiasm, and then .. at times - to get a laugh.

sadly there are some folks who are in need of more .. there is a sense of power on a forum they seek. and some of these people are more easily influenced and manipulated by the ones who come here to act like tough ass forum gods.

- are you trying to simply get a rise out of people ?

never understood the 'poke a stick in the wasps nest' mentality unless you are so bored and empty that its all you have for human interraction and entertainment. I guess i answered my own point. Your character is so flawed and damaged that you need the SAFE conflict from others to amuse yourself.
I guarentee these assholes wouldnt do it in real like for the fear of being turned into a grease spot on the bottom of someones shoe.


so yeah, i think words are important ... they reveal your character ..
I'm constantly at a loss to see why some people want themselves to be portrayed as metally challanged bad boy fuck-ups where they arent wanted..
i'm sure there's a clinical term for it,

at any rate it's unpleasant. i dont get my kicks from unpleasantness .. i get it from good times ... and even on this forum .. with the right folks, talking about cool issues, yakking about movies we dig, and getting some good natured digs at each other - even i'm capable of having a good time here occasionally.

and i should say thanks for that - you guys know who you are ... its the only reason i came back. there were people i missed.

[Vodstok]

Dont lie, you loved every second of screwing with trendkill. There is certain satisfaction when the person is clearly a jackass and you get a rise out of them. As far as targeting people who are going about their business, i agree with you.

[urgeok]

Dont lie, you loved every second of screwing with trendkill. There is certain satisfaction when the person is clearly a jackass and you get a rise out of them. As far as targeting people who are going about their business, i agree with you.


man that guy was so full of shit ..
i guess sometimes i can get sucked into trying to expose the bullshit - but i dont last more than a couple of exchanges..

i walk away - and when i do - i stay away. its usually more satisfying watching these guys dig their own holes.

[Vodstok]

I honestly enjoy the back and forth of threats and one upmanship from people who claim to be important or smart, when they dont get, even when I SAY it, that i am simply trying to aggravate them to see how far they will go. Trend claimed to be a 25 year old psychologist/documentary writer... Yet he engaged in a lengthy 3 day bitchfest, extolling how smart and accomplished he was, all the while reacting worse than a 12 year old. it was truly an amazing experience.


people like that are fascinating in the same way watching garden spiders bolt after insects ion their web are.

[Miss Olivia]

@Vod....I lived in Germany too, it sucks when you don't speak German.

I care what other people think to a certain extent, if I judge what they say to be worthy of my care. Unfortunately, I have a very nasty temper and sometimes little things that shouldn't bother me do. I've had to curb that in real life, but it's easier to get into an arguement online because there's no fear of retribution (a.k.a. getting arrested or getting your ass kicked) and so a lot of the disciplinarian buffers that exist in the "real world" don't affect judgement here.

[Roderick Usher]

so yeah, i think words are important ... they reveal your character ..
I'm constantly at a loss to see why some people want themselves to be portrayed as metally challanged bad boy fuck-ups where they arent wanted..


Amen to that, brother. Prentending to be bad-ass is the surest proof that you aren't. It aggravates the hell out of me, but these fools want to drag you down to their level...

rise above, my friends, rise above:) And know that the ones who wallow in negativity will be consumed by it.

[Vodstok]

@Vod....I lived in Germany too, it sucks when you don't speak German.

I care what other people think to a certain extent, if I judge what they say to be worthy of my care. Unfortunately, I have a very nasty temper and sometimes little things that shouldn't bother me do. I've had to curb that in real life, but it's easier to get into an arguement online because there's no fear of retribution (a.k.a. getting arrested or getting your ass kicked) and so a lot of the disciplinarian buffers that exist in the "real world" don't affect judgement here.

Exactly, and i think that is what Urge was getting at; you get kids with zero or less self-esteem, who want to be big badasses, so they come to a forum (or online game) and start shit with the local denizens, because they get to vent their frustration, angst, whatever and dont have to worry about the punch in the face they would no doubt recieve in real life.

[crabapple]

so you can slap 'em around a little bit!

because you like it! slap

;)

[Vodstok]

Amen to that, brother. Prentending to be bad-ass is the surest proof that you aren't. It aggravates the hell out of me, but these fools want to drag you down to their level...

rise above, my friends, rise above:) And know that the ones who wallow in negativity will be consumed by it.

You're only saying that bvecause you're a WUSS man...

I have big muscles, and i totally ripped a guy's arm off once...
Im not bragging, just saying, you know.... Totally.

[Vodstok]

hey vod can i have my arm back ?

No, i'm a bad ass and I'm totally not giving it back. Totaly.

[crabapple]

you know that would be great to have people in a line and just slap the shit out of each one as they walk up :D

There's about nine or ten people that I...well, okay, eleven people. Twelve. Fuck it. Just let me pick any twenty people and slap 'em around a little bit.

[Miss Olivia]

You know, you can charge by the hour for that.;)

[crabapple]

Yeah, and that too. Thanks for reminding us :rolleyes: