What scares you the most as a parent?

[Nchantress]

As you know, I had my first child almost a year ago (YAY!), and I tell you, it has been a year of the most extreme emotions ever. There's the love, and admiration, and immense feelings of accomplishment-even over a poopy diaper.
I got to thinking though; I don't think I've ever been this paranoid in my entire life. I worry about everything: fire, strangers, bugs (we have some Godzilla spiders), suffocation.
Now my biggest fear is leaving her. I think I'm more afraid now of dying because I don't want to leave her here alone. I went to school to become a police officer, but now I don't think I will carry on with that dream. I may go into psychology, but I don't have the same desire to save other people no matter what happens to me. Especially the a**holes I live around, why would I want to die for them? I never feared death or pain or anything, and I still don't when it pertains to me, but then I think about what Lily would go through and that scares the hell out of me.
So...all you parents out there, what scares you?

[urgeok]

i just said in another thread a short while ago - that the thought of dying never bothered me until i had my kid .. so now that bothers me enough to make me a much more careful person.

i'm afraid of screwing up... i never liked my parents - i'd be devastated if my kid ever felt that way about me.

i'm afraid of making a bad call or decision that will have a negative impact later on in his life.

i'm afraid of the possibility that i may have already done that without knowing

i'm afraid that he'll ever get hurt. mentally or physically

i'm afraid that he'll grow up to be a bad person (it's in the back of your mind - stirred into conciousness whenever you see another bad kid)



mostly i fear not being around to help him and watch him grow up..

[stubbornforgey]

I lost a child to a drunken driver just over a month ago
I have lived my worse fair and have never quite recovered :( :(

[Elvis_Christ]

Sorry to hear that Stubs..... :(

[PhilnEdee]

Leaving them IS tough...to this day...my wife and I have never used a babysitter other than our immediate family (in-laws, and my parents) that's it...over protective, probably...but they (14 and 7)are the most important things out there.

[Nchantress]

i just said in another thread a short while ago - that the thought of dying never bothered me until i had my kid .. so now that bothers me enough to make me a much more careful person.

i'm afraid of screwing up... i never liked my parents - i'd be devastated if my kid ever felt that way about me.

i'm afraid of making a bad call or decision that will have a negative impact later on in his life.

i'm afraid of the possibility that i may have already done that without knowing

i'm afraid that he'll ever get hurt. mentally or physically

i'm afraid that he'll grow up to be a bad person (it's in the back of your mind - stirred into conciousness whenever you see another bad kid)



mostly i fear not being around to help him and watch him grow up..


Yes, exactly. I was emotionally abused by my step grandfather from the ages of 7-14ish. I won't get into that, but it has made me the person I am today and not all for the better. I have all of those wonderful self esteem issues, and I think I’m completely hideous. All thanks to that jackass. My family is quite a dysfunctional one, and my entire life I said that I was going to raise a child the right way, in my eyes. I wanted to be married first and have a man who would stay in the family (I didn't have that). I also wanted to do everything I could to make sure my child knew how important she is, special, beautiful, smart, extraordinary. I guess I want for my Lily what all good parents do. But I am rather afraid of screwing up. I can't study for this; I have to use my best judgment, but what if I don't have the best judgment? I suppose wanting to do my best is a start.


My sympathies Miss Stubborn:(

[stubbornforgey]

Yes, exactly. I was emotionally abused by my step grandfather from the ages of 7-14ish. I won't get into that, but it has made me the person I am today and not all for the better. I have all of those wonderful self esteem issues, and I think I’m completely hideous. All thanks to that jackass. My family is quite a dysfunctional one, and my entire life I said that I was going to raise a child the right way, in my eyes. I wanted to be married first and have a man who would stay in the family (I didn't have that). I also wanted to do everything I could to make sure my child knew how important she is, special, beautiful, smart, extraordinary. I guess I want for my Lily what all good parents do. But I am rather afraid of screwing up. I can't study for this; I have to use my best judgment, but what if I don't have the best judgment? I suppose wanting to do my best is a start.


My sympathies Miss Stubborn:(

thanks...was probably the day that shall never forget fort he rest of my life..
she was an 11 yr old beauty who had emerald eyes.
She wanted to go the shop with her friends and i said no..but she kept going on and on and on..so eventually i gave in.
As they were leaving the store a drunk driver ran up onto the footpath..crashing into them ..critically injuring her friends but killing her instantly..
Being a parent was never supposed to be easy..as much as i wrapped my children in cottonball and bubble wrap..
as much as laid rules down ..made sure they were healthy..had a happy home..had good food...showered them with so much love..overprotected them..that i trusted no human..no animal..nothing..
they bitched and moaned cos i never allowed them past my gate past 4 pm..and any sleep overs had to be arranged to be held at my house.
See i,too was sexually abused and by a trusted family member..and i promised myself that this shall never happen to my children...or should my children come to me with any complaint..i will investigate thoroughly ..cos i as a child was only believed by one person when i told.
I did everything possible to reassure myself that my children will never have to suffer and yet..
i couldn't forsee what was going to happen by giving in so easily to something so innocent. 'weep' :( :o

i have never forgiven myself for that one day.:(

[urgeok]

fuck drunk drivers all to hell.
every parents nightmare ..

i fucking hate motherfucking drunk drivers.

[PhilnEdee]

fuck drunk drivers all to hell.
every parents nightmare ..

i fucking hate motherfucking drunk drivers.

Yep, I got your back on that one. It's hard...my 14yo is active in school (b-ball, softball, cane, makes all A's) it's so hard to tell her "No" on things she wants to do with her friends...cannot make them see that it is a cruel world out there and you really are trying to look out for them...we all usually give in, and as mentioned above, sometimes we regret it forever...very sad story- good to think on for us parents who have a bad feeling about our own wanting to go somewhere sometimes...out of our arms protective reach.
Young guy (17 or 18) who rides motorcycles with us some went missing this am...got a call that they found him off a curvy road that we ride and it wasn't good at all(he's dead).

[urgeok]

its like - what are we supposed to do ?
we spend all or time protecting them, raising them to be sensible and careful, then out of the blue some irresponsible drunk driving cocksucker takes your child or family away in the blink of an eye.

but ... they didnt mean it .. it was just a mistake !

oh, well, thats ok then ..it was just my and their lives you destroyed .. no biggie..

[Disease]

I guess my biggest scare would be if i never had any kids, but that is more of a fear I supose.

[Roderick Usher]

Not really scared of anything as a parent, other than the state of the environment.

Everything else is a crapshoot. You do your best to love, protect, educate and provide for them - but living seems to be the #1 cause of death, so...

Adding fear to the equation just adds stress, which in turn can make you a worse parent.

[urgeok]

Not really scared of anything as a parent, other than the state of the environment.

Everything else is a crapshoot. You do your best to love, protect, educate and provide for them - but living seems to be the #1 cause of death, so...

Adding fear to the equation just adds stress, which in turn can make you a worse parent.


must be nice to be at peace with the world 24/7 .. just how much pot do you smoke each day ? :)



what you say is essentially true .. but if you can actually practice what you preach .. live each day without any fear or apprehension .. well more power to you ..

i'm sure i'll never get to that level of fearlessness as long as i live.
i wont put the kid in a box - but I'll always fear for him.

[bloodcreature]

I 'm affraid I will make a mistake that will hurt them in the future. But most of all I'm affraid they will get seriously hurt.

[newb]

Lately its been the fucking cell phone bills.

[pinkfloyd45769]

I'm afraid of everything!!!If my baby poops and i think it looks odd(cause i inspect it) i call my mom and freak out!! Thet are such a gift,i could not go on without them!

[Nchantress]

I swore to myself I wouldn't call my mom. I said "I can do this myself, I read everything, I have all my books right here". Ha! Oh yes, I called my mama, many times. I had no idea what I was doing at first, still don't sometimes. It's fun though.

[stubbornforgey]

Unfortunately..theres no handbook given to you once your child is born..
My shake down on parenthood is exactly this..
You do the best you can..
you teach them rignt from wrong
you guide them
you love and protect them as much as you can
you instill morals
you be the best parent any child could ever hope for..
Once they reach that age where they are able to decide for themselves..
the best you can do as a loving parent is to always be there to catch
them when they fall..
I have heard many times...'if they fall..let them stand on thier own 2 feet'
As a parent ..this is so true...but my arms will always be opened and hopefully they know they can always fall into them.

[Phalanx]

If I were a parent, I'd say dying before you'd passed on all the valuable information you felt you held for your child, and before they were emotionally able to deal with it as an adult.

[Roderick Usher]

Lately its been the fucking cell phone bills.

okay, I ammend my earlier post - that sounds horrific

Not looking forward to auto insurance either, but I've got 6 years to gird myself for that one.

[stubbornforgey]

oooooooooh ..the dreaded cell phone bill..

fuck ..i feel you there my friend.

1700$ ...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh yeah..that was mine :o

i put y children on prepay..
noway in hell was i giving them a contracted phone

[Haunted]

I guess that I'll stand in solidarity with Ms. Stubborn. What scared me the most was loosing a child, and I did. So that's my thing. If I ever got pregnant again, I would always be so afraid even when I'm fifty. I don't think I could go through that again.

[stubbornforgey]

I guess that I'll stand in solidarity with Ms. Stubborn. What scared me the most was loosing a child, and I did. So that's my thing. If I ever got pregnant again, I would always be so afraid even when I'm fifty. I don't think I could go through that again.

so sorry to hear sister-boo.

As a parent its always expected that you would go before them...
I never understood the magnitude of my mums heartbreak when
my lil sister passed away.
When i hear shit like..'ooh i know how you feel'..i know they mean well..but unless you have suffered through this..then NO you don't know how I feel'.
The day i buried my child ..was the day i buried a better part of myself.
and everyday i visit the cemetary ..i lose a little more and more each time.
Its hard to actually comprehend the fact that she is gone.
I wrap myself inside her mink blankie like a cocoon everynight.'sigh'

[pinkfloyd45769]

I envy you Stubbs, i'm not sure i could go on after losing a child.My heart goes out to you.

[Nchantress]

I guess that I'll stand in solidarity with Ms. Stubborn. What scared me the most was loosing a child, and I did. So that's my thing. If I ever got pregnant again, I would always be so afraid even when I'm fifty. I don't think I could go through that again.


I feel the same way; if I ever lost my Miss Lily I couldn't have another. I never knew how scary this whole mom thing is. I still have to check on her one last time before we go to bed. Everyday I worry that something, usually out of my control, will hurt her. I even put a smoke detector under her crib because there's a cord going under it. I hope I don't smother her in the future, but I just can't think of not protecting her.

To Miss Stubborn and Miss Haunted, I won't say that I know how you feel. I have been fortunate enough to only lose one person that was close to me in my life and that was when I was in the third grade. I have to tell you though that while I feel horribly for you two, I also admire your strength. You two have gone on and continued your lives. I know you still think of the children, but you are also involved in life, and I know the little ones would want that. Not many people can face the world after such tragedy. Be proud of yourselves.

[stubbornforgey]

Thank you for that nanchress..

I have to be honest though..my reason for carrying on
is for the sake of my other daughter who seems to be paying the price
for that one day...also from the love of a very supportive man
She thought i was strict then..em much harder now..otherwise..
yes..i wouldve given up .

[Spec7ral]

im no parent but if i lived in the states this would scare the shit out of me if i lived anywhere near it, like 100 miles near it.

http://vulcan.wr.usgs.gov/Volcanoes/Yellowstone/description_yellowstone.html

[Haunted]

'Chantress and Stubborn, you know, people say, "It's not alive until, what, the like, maybe, partly through the second trimester." I'm pro-choice, but still, that's a bullshit statement, because, as a mum, you can feel that life almost at the moment of conception. You just know. I knew, I could feel that life, and when it ended, I knew that too. That feeling was the worst feeling I've ever had. Ever.

[stubbornforgey]

'Chantress and Stubborn, you know, people say, "It's not alive until, what, the like, maybe, partly through the second trimester." I'm pro-choice, but still, that's a bullshit statement, because, as a mum, you can feel that life almost at the moment of conception. You just know. I knew, I could feel that life, and when it ended, I knew that too. That feeling was the worst feeling I've ever had. Ever.


exactly sister-boo!!

a miscarriage is treated like it doesn't matter..but oh boi..
especially knowing thier is a life growing there and your whole body is making the adjustments to accomodate..what a massive feeling to have that growing baby inside you...
'sigh'...sometimes when my girl plays up ..em like...
ONE MORE YOUNG LADY AND EM SURGICALLY HAVING YOU RETURNED!!

and shes like ...ewwwwwwwww ewwwwwww mum!!

[PhilnEdee]

okay, I ammend my earlier post - that sounds horrific

Not looking forward to auto insurance either, but I've got 6 years to gird myself for that one.

Mine is fast becoming the fear of going to prison for killing some of these dumb ass boys who keep calling my house ALL the time.

[PR3SSUR3]

That my child might outlive me.

[stubbornforgey]

Mine is fast becoming the fear of going to prison for killing some of these dumb ass boys who keep calling my house ALL the time.

LOL

as much as i love my daughters..
i truly wish i had boys instead..
less work