Ever Feel 'Out Of Place'?

[bloodrayne]

Dustin posted this at MySpace:

"Last night Kat, Jordan, Alex, Ash, and I all went to blow a chunk of Kat's b-day money. She decides that we should try somewhere new.......maybe a boat.

So we ended up at Mike Fink's and christ on a cracker was that place completely different from anywhere I've ever been. The menus didn't have prices just little numbers that you barely notice like: French Onion Soup...........5. What the hell is that? We were surrounded by people in suits having rock lobster and putting it on the company expense account (you could tell). And there we are in our regular "what the hell do we care?" black. It felt like at any moment someone was gonna tap me on the shoulder and ask me to leave.

The guy at the door definitely didn't want us there, you could see it in his face that he kicked around the idea to refuse us when we said we didn't have reservations.

However, the food was awesome, Ash was flirting his lil ass off, and the view of the city and the water were perfect.

So if you got alot of extra money to burn sometime (usually we don't) and you wanna see someone shit their pants, gather up all your friends, dress in your finest black and hit up Mike Fink's...........it's guaranteed to be an experience."


This was my response to that:

"Meh...You're just overly paranoid :p



It wasn't really such a big deal...It WAS fun trying something new...But, you shouldn't ever have to feel uncomfortable no matter where you go

I can fit in anywhere...But, if I seem out of place to others, well fuck 'em...Who really cares?"



I don't understand why he felt so awkward...It was kinda like he seemed intimidated or something...But...WHY?...I just don't get it...


Any of you guys ever felt this way?

[azathoth777]

I've definatly felt that way before. It's not that I really care what others think, it just the vibe you get when 50 people are staring a hole in the back of your head. Also I'm just waiting for someone to say something, so that puts me on edge too.

[monalisa]

A long time ago, some friends and I were coming back home from a road trip seeing some concerts and we decided to stop at a restaurant that we knew was an expensive upper scale place. But we thought, what the hell, it's our last stop before we all go home and back to reality. We weren't filthy, but we had been driving all day and were far from dressed up. After we started ording things like bottles of wine, appetizers and nice dinners, the staff got a clue and were really nice. But we could tell the other diners were pretty freaked out by us. I thought it was pretty funny.

[Elvis_Christ]

Yeh I feel outta place like that all the fuckin' time especially in this hick town. I'm about the only headbangin' punk dude round this place. I get some fucked up looks outta some people :D

[Phalanx]

I generally dress pretty casually...about as formal as it gets for me would be wearing an ironed shirt, over a black T, long pants, and polished boots.
Don't like suits, don't think I'll ever wear one.
There are some places that I'd not go to that seem kind of "upperclass", simply on account of having attended places like this before, and not enjoyed the experience. It doesn't matter how much I "care" about either what other people think of me, or that the peeps that seem to wear designer and/or business gear 24/7 DO seem to look down upon all those unlike them, and tend to stare, assuming you're stupid enough to miss the obviousness of it...
But, that DOES take something away from your dining experience, even if I'm happy to sit there, soaking up the reactions.
When it comes from both the patrons, and the staff, it's all a little underwhelming. I've seen others take priority in being served in places like this, even after I've arrived prior to them. I've seen friendly smiles thrown around those with certain images, and received cold indifference and minimal eye contact myself at times.
It's called the hospitality industry for a reason...and IMO, if you're prepared to spend what they're charging, you damn well ought to be treated equally.
Do I feel uncomfortable about all this?
Not really...sure, makes me consider that there's a bunch of dicks out there, but I suppose if I wanted to dine in one of these kinds of places, I would.
However, I'd choose one that I'd been to prior and actually received good service...unfortunately, they make up the minority.
Fine dining, upperclass restaurants...I just don't think they're really for me, in general. Of course, the need to actually GO to them in my case is a little less significant, since I can pretty much cook up there with the best of them...but all the same, having received poor service at some of these places in the past, been obviously shoved in the least noticeable corners, and the reactions of those that define themselves by dollar value...I have seldom come out feeling I've had my moneys worth. For these reasons, I do not regularly dine at, nor would I work at, places like this. I'd consider it a huge sell-out.
Not saying that ALL places like this are the same...I've had the good fortune to experience a few that aren't like that at all...but, that few, is few and far between.
I much prefer going to say smaller restaurants, indian, thai, italian pizzerias, steakhouses, lebanese restaurants, the kind of places that don't have flocks of these sheep heading in to boost their social status on a daily basis, the kind of places that actually value you as a customer, not as a walking dollar sign. If I want to spend up a little more, I'll hit the Lauenbrau, a great rustic German restaurant/pub that's set up in one of sydneys oldest buildings...great atmosphere, good food, friendly people...slightly more expensive than most places I'd go to, but you get your moneys worth, without the attitude.
You can tell the difference between these kinds of places in terms of the service a mile off. Maybe it's just because they need the business one way or another, I don't know...but 9 times out of 10, I'm myself garaunteed a much warmer reception, and a more enjoyable night.

But for me, the one place I love eating most...is a dodgy looking downstairs arcade in the middle of our "chinatown", called the dixon centre. It's full of tables and chairs, with about 50 different places to eat. Like a mixed asian food court...You order your food, it's done in 5 minutes, fresh, excellent, friendly service, anybody is welcome, and the serving sizes...whoah...all I can say is I'm not sure why there arent a LOT more chubby asian people.
It's an experience, and I feel most at home there. Why? Because who ou are, and what you do doesn't get taken into account by every second person...that, and well, it's all about good food.

[bloodrayne]

@ Cheeba (Phalanx...I'll never get used to that...)


In reference to your post:


The reason I didn't understand why Dustin seemed uncomfortable is because we were NOT treated any differently than anyone else...

We actually sat almost right in the CENTER of the side of the boat we were on (one side is for smoking, then there's a 'gang-way' (I think that's what it's called) that leads to the other side of the boat, which is for non-smoking)...We were on the non-smoking side which was the BEST side, because the entire side of the boat was windows, and we had full view of the water flowing past us, and the Cincinnati skyline and bridges (which were all lit up because it was at night...It was absolutely beautiful)...

The smoking side faces the shoreline, and has the bar in it...Nothing special...You could barely even see the water on that side...and you can't see the city skyline from that side either...We always eat in the non-smoking section of any restaurant, and on the boat that choice REALLY paid off


There were 3 women and 2 men at the table closest to us...They were your typical 'business types'...They started a conversation with us (about the baby) while we waited for our dinner...We chatted, laughed, they tried to get Ash to laugh...He smiled at them...It was cute...

Our waiter was EXTREMELY nice to us, always made sure we had everything we needed and there were 2 other guys, too that kept asking us if we needed anything.....Everyone was very polite and friendly....The food was great...There was no dessert menu, there was actually a guy who just tells you what the desserts are (when you're finished eating) and he describes them...There was no way that any of us could have eaten anything else...I thought I was gonna explode.......The 'dessert guy' was really nice, too


And even though Dustin seemed a little nervous, we still had a good time...The kids enjoyed it, we laughed, Dustin was smiling the whole time, I walked the boys over to the window so they could look down at the water (we could see the entire river from where we were sitting, but kids always like to see it 'close-up' ya know?)...and of course we had to walk across the 'gang plank' when we boarded the boat, and they were looking down at the water then too (and saw a turtle)...but still...

As we were leaving, everyone said "Thank you", "Hope you enjoyed your meal", "Have a nice evening", etcetera...

Like I said, I really think Dustin was just paranoid...It was as if he was just EXPECTING someone to give him a dirty look, or say something wrong, but no one even noticed us really, if anyone DID happen to look our way, they would just smile and/or nod, just like every place else we go......THAT was what I didn't understand...People just aren't like that (with the dirty looks and whatever) around here...I seriously thought he would have realized that by now...

[Phalanx]

It was as if he was just EXPECTING someone to give him a dirty look, or say something wrong,
Well, past experience can leave your views on the matter somewhat jaded...when you expect something from a situation, the mere expectation can make you feel differently.
Sounds like you had a good time in this case though...wish there were a few more places like that around here. I mean, yes, I can go to certain places I'm familiar with that are what you'd consider upperclass, and receive the kind of treatment I feel is appropriate, but in my experience, my growing experience, is that this isn't always the case...in fact, it's more often that not, the opposite.
I have to admit, when initially trying the places I HAVE been satisfied with, that I couldn't help but feel a little apprehensive.

I think unfortunately, far too many places are more concerned with preserving their own "image", than serving all customers in the same manner. For this reason, I'm far happier "slumming it" by comparison. If I want something REALLY nice, I'll just cook it.

[bloodrayne]

Well, past experience can leave your views on the matter somewhat jaded...when you expect something from a situation, the mere expectation can make you feel differently.
Yeah...I'd say that was most likely the problem...He's really not from around here, he's only been here for 2 years...He grew up in a town even smaller than ours, and he wasn't near any big cities, they don't have much of ANYTHING like what we have here (not even a freakin' MALL)...So I guess he probably kinda felt like a fish outta water...But, still after 2 years, you'd think he'd be kinda acclimated by now...Of course, we hadn't ever had dinner on a boat before...

Maybe since I grew up where EVERYTHING is available, I just feel comfortable anywhere, and I can't really relate to his apprehension...

Hell, you should have seen him when we took him to the mountains for the first time...I guess in a way it's kinda cool, because many of the things WE take for granted, are a new experience for him...So, it's fun for us to see him experience these things for the first time...It gives us a whole new appreciation for the things around us...We're going to the beach soon, he's never even seen the ocean before...I can't imagine what it will be like for him :)

[Haunted]

I feel out of place in most everyplace. It's silly, but it's all due to past experience, and my tendency to believe that people (with the exception of a few) are generally mean spirited. This is not an untested theory. I've experienced it enough to make a sound judgement. Now, as I've said, there are some people that aren't, but for the most part, I don't trust anyone.

[aimforthehead]

I feel out of place in most everyplace. It's silly, but it's all due to past experience, and my tendency to believe that people (with the exception of a few) are generally mean spirited. This is not an untested theory. I've experienced it enough to make a sound judgement. Now, as I've said, there are some people that aren't, but for the most part, I don't trust anyone.


ditto. There are few people I can truly get along with for that reason... :(

[Roderick Usher]

I can feel comfortable in just about any situation (except maybe waiting in a line) but that may have more to do with where I live than anything else. LA is home of the jaded, so nothing really shocks here.

Back in DC people were much more uptight and I would get the funny looks at fine restaurants (my weakness) and bars, but here I'm far from the wierd one in any given establishment.

And I think being a dad helps too... Just have bigger things to worry about than someone's opinion of me.

[Phalanx]

ditto. There are few people I can truly get along with for that reason...
Aw, maybe y'all can play soulmates

[urgeok]

i feel out of place in a room full of people wearing baseball hats and talking about nascar.


i

[Phalanx]

I feel that way anytime anyone brings up pretty much anything about sports...too many people here are far too into it...If they start talking, I practically nod off. It's worse when there's more of them, and I'm just left questioning why the fuck I'd hang out with these people.
I figure if you're gonna get into a sport, play it...don't make every other single aspect of your life about it.

[AmericanManiac]

I've definatly felt that way before. It's not that I really care what others think, it just the vibe you get when 50 people are staring a hole in the back of your head. Also I'm just waiting for someone to say something, so that puts me on edge too.

You said that perferectly ! I feel that way sometimes also.

[Trilby Wearin' Maniac]

I've been given dirty looks by assistants in designer shops before, but they can probably sniff out an impoverished student at ten paces :rolleyes: Still, at least they're polite when I buy stuff..one of my friends walked up to one one where they have a guy that opens the door for everyone, and apparently he opened the door for everyone but didn't even bother for her..

[X¤MurderDoll¤X]

I've been given dirty looks by assistants in designer shops before, but they can probably sniff out an impoverished student at ten paces :rolleyes: Still, at least they're polite when I buy stuff..one of my friends walked up to one one where they have a guy that opens the door for everyone, and apparently he opened the door for everyone but didn't even bother for her..

Welcome to the world, enjoy your stay. :)



Have a good halloween everyone, I won't be on.