it hit me juuuuust right...

[Vodstok]

This is a place for lines and situations that hit you just right and made you laugh so hard, it hurt. It can be non-pc, so be careful if you are sensitive, things will probably get pretty bad.

Dont be emarrased. this is for things lik eimagining your grandma bouncing off a car and laughing at it, at her funeral. that kind of thig.


This made me sick. ever have that kind of laugh where you arent really laughing, your chest is just so tight you cant breathe you tear up, and nothing comes out, and you just sit there?

Yesterday on Opie and Anthony, they were talking about the world's smallest person. it's a 14 year old Thai boy who is currently 20 inches tall.

Jim Norton (Who is quickly becoming my new god...) said this:
"I want to hit it. i just want to punch it in it's little torso, then stick him in the back of my closet and yell at it through a hole in the door."

I dotn know why, but i lterally almost went off the road and felt sick for about 15 minutes after that. Anyone familiar with his delivery knows why that was so funny...

[newb]

You mean like the time Hammerfan fell down the stairs and we all laughed?

[Vodstok]

Pretty much. I lhave been listening to O & A for about a month now and have been routinely horrified at the shit i have laughed at.

I dont think making fun of people with disabilities is funny at all, but.... i think sometimes its not what happens or is said, its that it happened or was said.

I wanted to see the ringer because, to be honest, it looked godamn funny. Making fun of "retards' isnt cool, but making fun of a guy pretending to be retarded? Hilarious.


i think the worst ones i laughed at so far were a deaf reporter doing a piece on kids with downs syndrom.... sealed my fate. im going to burn for that one.


there was also Jim Norton making fun of a listener who got pissed they were joking about baby sea turtles. so he said he wanted to dance on baby turtles with combat boots whilethe guy cried "tee-hee! *Stomp* 'Waaaa!' Tee-hee! *stomp stomp* Waaaa!" Again, i almsot cried at that one...

[hammerfan]

Originally posted by newb
You mean like the time Hammerfan fell down the stairs and we all laughed?


Hey!! ;)

[Phalanx]

I saw a report about it on the news...I personally didnt have to hear anything to laugh, I just looked at the little fuckin' doll-body and that set me up well enough.
I admit, I at least feel like I should feel slightly bad about it, but hey...jesus, as if the little fucker didn't think he could make people laugh ENOUGH he started bustin' out karate moves? Y'all see that?? ha...funny shit. I feel I got the right to a hearty non-pc laugh at his expense.

[Vodstok]

hey, at least you werent laughing at someone saying they weanted to hit him and stuff him in a closet.

[The Flayed One]

I have an uncle, he's a good enough guy, but he's a bit of a racist. So we'll get all kinds of drunk, and I'll start telling him Jesus was a jew. For some reason, he gets really mad and starts swearing. Apparently, he thinks ol' Joshua bar Jospeh was German, blonde haired & blue eyed. Cracks my shit up.

[ItsAlive75]

I seriously thought this was a thread about getting hit in the balls.

[Vodstok]

Originally posted by The Flayed One
I have an uncle, he's a good enough guy, but he's a bit of a racist. So we'll get all kinds of drunk, and I'll start telling him Jesus was a jew. For some reason, he gets really mad and starts swearing. Apparently, he thinks ol' Joshua bar Jospeh was German, blonde haired & blue eyed. Cracks my shit up. I 've always wondered how the KKK and neo-nazis justified that one to themselves, like the middle east was crawling with vast herds of white christian dudes before jesus. Idiots.



I just watched a comedy set from Jim Norton over on youtube. he said he asked a gay freind to tell him what he thought of his new couch. he said they guy is really loud and rubbe dhis hand on the couch and said "It's really rough!'

He said "I guess we have different priorities when purchasing couches since i dont have to worry about getting my face smooshed into it." LOL!

[Phalanx]

It just occured to me...I dunno, am I the only one thinking this?

[Vodstok]

Oh my god.. I hadnt seen him yet... He looks like a monkey fetus...

[The Flayed One]

Good lord! WTF is that thing?!

[Vodstok]

Originally posted by The Flayed One
Good lord! WTF is that thing?! the world's smallest person.

If PT Barnum was still alive, that guy would have a job. probably as a monkey, while they had a monkey as the "world's smallest boy"


that poor, ugly kid. reminds me of a trip i was on in 11th grade. We had gone up (the high school band) to a small town north of Toronto (peter something or other i think, anyway) and were stopped at a mcdonalds near lake champlain. there was an enormous flock of seagulls hanging around. I had gotten a big mac meal and was finishing the fries when i decided to share some, you know, make some friends. those were the nicest birds on earth. they would take the fries like a dog, real gentle.

Of course, they skwacked at everyone else, but they liked me.

someone said "you realize as soo n as you runout of fries they are going to get pissed and shit on everything..."

I looked around. there were 30+ cars in th elot. And the busses were getting ready to leave. i smiled and said "Yep. Thats the plan" and got on the bus.

I think i am paying for that still to some degree, karmicaly speaking. but it was worth it. :D

[Vodstok]

click this:
http://www.aviationexplorer.com/405_movie.htm


Fucking old people

[crabapple]

I was watching TV with a buddy about ten years ago, there was this comedian on, he looked like a crazy person, and he would scream and shout and rave as part of his thing.

Anyway. He was doing this bit about walking along the beach with a stick and turning over beached jellyfish, and started saying stuff like "You could turn the jellyfish over, and it could have a face, you know, two eyes, a nose, mouth, a mustache, WHY NOT???!?!?!?!! !!!!!"

It sounds dumb but the way this guy delivered it was perfect, and he had the audience warmed up with smaller laughs and was toying with them before throwing this one out. It was so funny my friend and I fell down on the floor, and we were laughing so hard that we almost couldn't breathe. It was probably the funniest routine I ever heard, and it made no freaking sense at all.

[Vodstok]

i cracked my wife up pretty good not too long ago. Our baby's name is "Lillian Autumn". We were joking about people screwing her name up because my wife's name is Bree, but her birth name is "Chrysta Breanne". So she gets called crystal all the time, and spent her childhood having to explain things to people who asked "How do you get Bree from Chrysta?"


So i said "how do you get a Lillian Autumn?"
"Plant it in the fucking summer."

She laughed her ass off.

reminds me of eddie izzard. "We say 'Herbs' because there's a fuckign 'H'"