neighbor trouble

[Roderick Usher]

I have a these neighbors in my apartment building, let's call them C and P, who are really chapping my ass.

C is a Vietnam Vet with two types of cancer and ten kinds of crazy. His wife, P has frontal lobe dementia - it's similar to Alzheimer's but with the added plus of making her walk like Karloff's Mummy and causing incontinence.

I'm always around (I work at home) so I help them carry groceries up the stairs and such, no big. But lately their health has turned south and I'm their go-to guy for first aid. P recently fell down and broke her foot, so I'm always getting the call to help her up and down the stairs.

She weighs at least 180 and has no mobility at all, so I'm literally hauling her around...and I can smell her diaper.

I like to be the good guy, and C keeps me in good supply of great weed (from his Hell's Angels buddies) but I'm tired of it already.

They simply have no one else and are flat broke, so they can't afford hospice care. It's tough enough being a stay-at-home dad with a full-time writing job, but this added burden is breaking me down.

I kind of wish that thier diseases would just do them in.

Now...am I terrible for thinking that?

[PR3SSUR3]

Not really I guess.

I sympathise with anybody who has to suffer troublesome neighbours, since it is the worst kind of stress to be uncomfortable in your own home because of someone else's habits or problems.

Kill them both.

[novakru]

I agree.
Kill them

[Roderick Usher]

Not really an option. Although C doesn't get around too well, he is ex-special forces and is heavily armed.

Last year I got roped into changing the dressing on his busted (and gooey) toe after he kicked a hole in the wall...in his sleep. He's dangerous, but sweet.

Tough one. They also see me as some kind of saint. Kills me to harbor such malevolence toward people who hold me in such high regard.

:mad:

[PR3SSUR3]

Use your writing royalties and pay someone else to kill them both.

[Roderick Usher]

Originally posted by PR3SSUR3
Use your writing royalties and pay someone else to kill them both.

better plan

If had enough cash for that, I'd have enough to move away.

[Phalanx]

Tell them you've got AIDS, and find a subtle way to start bleeding anytime they're around.

[VampiricClown]

Originally posted by Phalanx
Tell them you've got AIDS, and find a subtle way to start bleeding anytime they're around.

I'll second that.

It's not a bad thing that you don't want the burden, and you would deffinetly be better off if it did them in.

Don't feel bad for wanting that.

[Roderick Usher]

Problem is, they're nice people whom I've known for 8 years. Their quality of life makes me believe they would actually be better off dead, but they are friends.

The question is...is it wrong to wish that someone - someone you know and like - would die for their own good.

I won't deny that I have selfish reasons, but still...

:confused:

[Zero]

i had a very similar situation - indeed if you live in new york we might be neighbors. . . eventually when i had helped the woman with her groceries she said something about 'your so helpful i dont know what we'd do without you' i plucked up the courage to just say 'well you'd better figure it out because i'm done." i proceeded to explain in fairly clear details that i was not going to continue helping them everytime they had a problem.

it was awkward for a while - really it still is - but eventually they just started ignoring me like a stranger.

harsh? yes - necessary for my sanity - absolutely!

[Miss Olivia]

Grin and bear it. They're not totally worthless....if they get good weed. Of course, I would cook up a communicable disease to keep from changing infected toe dressings, but how much longer do you really think they'll last?
And who else is gonna help?

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by PR3SSUR3
Kill them both.

Yep. Murder.

[VampiricClown]

Originally posted by ItsAlive75
Yep. Murder.

The kill them off's have it!

You know what you must do!

[novakru]

This may not help but I'll waste your time anyway:
My mother is taking care of my Grandmother who has Altzeimers.
She has no idea who anybody is and no idea her own daughter is basically being sucked dry emotionally and physically and financially.
I get off the phone with my mother about to bash my head into a brick wall because I am so angry and hurt because my mother who worked her ass off since she was 16 and served her country valiantly is reduced to this barely functioning human who's entire life 24/7 revolves around a woman with no mind but healthy as a damn horse.

I want her to die,and I hate myself for wanting my own grandmother dead but I feel at this point,my mom is going to die from stress long before the old bat does.(harsh words I know, but I have issues.)

Do what I cannot do and tell yourself to get a backbone and help when needed but not at your own expense-not when helping taxes your own limits and limits Your life.

[Roderick Usher]

Thanks novakru

That's exactly the tight-rope I'm trying to walk.

[ENTITY2000]

WHY IS EVERYONE SO NEGATIVE ABOUT THIS. i mean i enjoy helping others but i guess not everyone has time to fuck with people who has defended our country and so on! kids today:rolleyes:


and want your grandmother to die....that's awful put her in a fucking nursing home! b careful what you wish for it could come back on you 3 folds!:)

[Yellow Jacket]

Well, whatever you do Roderick, don't leave it to Beaver. I left it to Beaver a few months ago, and instead of murdering my neighbors like I asked him to, he gave them a box of chocolates and invited them over to my house. That son of a bitch (and yes, I'm insulting you Mra. Beaver)! :p

Honestly, you've got two choices:

1.) Get somebody to help you out with this situation (such as a friend, relative, child, etc.)

or

2.) Just tell them the truth, and do it gently. Hopefully, they'll understand and be more leniant with you.

Or you could just pretend to have AIDS like Phalanx suggested.

P.S. If anybody sees Beaver, could you please kill him for me? Thank you!

[novakru]

Originally posted by ENTITY2000

and want your grandmother to die....that's awful put her in a fucking nursing home! b careful what you wish for it could come back on you 3 folds!:)


I never said it wasn't an awful thing to think dipshit.

My family is 500 miles away from me,but I hear and UNDERSTAND what my mom has to go through and I feel bad for her.
Yeah-she'll just stuff her in a nursing home and let her rot and get abused-good suggestion there brainiac.

Fucking judgmental people man:rolleyes:

[Vodstok]

Clearly, killing them isnt an option. even if anyone was serious, its ont he internet now, so if you did it, there is conspiracy and murder one right there.

And entity's "just grin and bear it" idea is retarded. it is good to help people, but when they begin to take advatage of it, all bets are off. 6taking advantage of charity is as bad as stealing. it is a very passive form of abuse.

Your number 1 priority is your family and then yourself. if this is getting in the wayof that AT ALL, then sorry, but fuck em. Help get them help if it makes things easier (or better), btu self-sacrifice in this kind of situation will only get you screwed.

If all else fails, give them each $100 and t-shirts that say "Black people suck", then drop them off in Culver City. You live in LA, right?

That situation will be taken care of post-haste.

[novakru]

Originally posted by novakru
I never said it wasn't an awful thing to think dipshit.

My family is 500 miles away from me,but I hear and UNDERSTAND what my mom has to go through and I feel bad for her.
Yeah-she'll just stuff her in a nursing home and let her rot and get abused-good suggestion there brainiac.

Fucking judgmental people man:rolleyes:

Never mind my rant Entity.
I have never had a problem with anything you have ever posted so I will not start now.
Here's my non-excuse but explaination:
I am very VERY crabby these days because I am about 2 weeks away from having my 3rd Imp.
So please accept my apology for calling you a dipshit and being a smartass.

[ENTITY2000]

Originally posted by novakru
Never mind my rant Entity.
I have never had a problem with anything you have ever posted so I will not start now.
Here's my non-excuse but explaination:
I am very VERY crabby these days because I am about 2 weeks away from having my 3rd Imp.
So please accept my apology for calling you a dipshit and being a smartass.
i forgive you:D and i had a bad day yesterday! i'll try to be more understanding:o :)

[stygianwitch]

No you're not bad for thinking like this and you clearly do feel bad about it but you can't keep doing everything for them, with their health being as bad as it sounds they are only going to become more dependent the longer this goes on.

Vodstok and Novakru both have good suggestions that could help. I don't know how it works in the States but you could try finding out what kind of help would be available to them in their financial state, if there is free help available arrange for them to get it, it may be time consuming to begin with but it will take the burden off your shoulders.

Also, explain to them that your family comes first but you will help them (if you're happy to do so) where it falls in with your regular routine, for example, get their groceries when you get yours , but that you can't be at their beck and call 24/7

[The Flayed One]

Well, you could try what I've done. If you suspect someone will be asking for help, chug a bunch of drinks. The excuse "I'm really too drunk," is valid, almost always works, and fun to boot.

Otherwise, a well 'misplaced' rollerskate next to the stairs can do wonders.:p

[Roderick Usher]

Originally posted by The Flayed One
Well, you could try what I've done. If you suspect someone will be asking for help, chug a bunch of drinks. The excuse "I'm really too drunk," is valid, almost always works, and fun to boot.



That gets me out of a ton of shit.:D

[stubbornforgey]

Originally posted by Roderick Usher
I have a these neighbors in my apartment building, let's call them C and P, who are really chapping my ass.

C is a Vietnam Vet with two types of cancer and ten kinds of crazy. His wife, P has frontal lobe dementia - it's similar to Alzheimer's but with the added plus of making her walk like Karloff's Mummy and causing incontinence.

I'm always around (I work at home) so I help them carry groceries up the stairs and such, no big. But lately their health has turned south and I'm their go-to guy for first aid. P recently fell down and broke her foot, so I'm always getting the call to help her up and down the stairs.

She weighs at least 180 and has no mobility at all, so I'm literally hauling her around...and I can smell her diaper.

I like to be the good guy, and C keeps me in good supply of great weed (from his Hell's Angels buddies) but I'm tired of it already.

They simply have no one else and are flat broke, so they can't afford hospice care. It's tough enough being a stay-at-home dad with a full-time writing job, but this added burden is breaking me down.

I kind of wish that thier diseases would just do them in.

Now...am I terrible for thinking that?


unfortunately..your good deed has turned you into some kind of matyr for this couple.
These ppl are lonely and have probably
turned to you as some kind of company
as your young..etc.
I see this couple however taking advantage of this situation.
The best thing for you to do now ..is put yourself and your own life above all others...including them.
The next time she calls...don't go...
just watch her closely..i bet after a few minutes..she will get up by herself and walk.
Concentrate on your writing/child/yourself..
Let them know your there IF and only IF its an emergency..other than that..
tell them ..this love affair is over. ..or you may find that you'll want to move apartments...or worst of all..show some
kind of open hostility towards them, :D

[novakru]

Originally posted by ENTITY2000
i forgive you:D and i had a bad day yesterday! i'll try to be more understanding:o :)

Cool:)





And about this thread...I bet ole Roderick is thinking right about now' why the fuck did I even start this shit?'

Well Rod buddy,now you know,around here,we beat dead horses till they ROT-LMAO.

[waffle]

One overlooked option, is to go to war, cripple yourself, get brain damage and put on 200 pounds - and then ask them to help you out.

If they say yes, then great, you have slaves.

If they say no, then you are fully justified to go: "Ha! How do you like it, you leeches!"
And then take yourself to the gym, cos you're a big fat handicap.

[Roderick Usher]

Originally posted by novakru
Cool:)





And about this thread...I bet ole Roderick is thinking right about now' why the fuck did I even start this shit?'

Well Rod buddy,now you know,around here,we beat dead horses till they ROT-LMAO.

Keep on flogging, I love it.

[Miss Olivia]

Heh. He said flog.:p

[Haunted]

I don't mean to be a bitch, but, this thread...

I understand, but at the same time I am completely baffled by the lack of compassion. No, you should not allow people to take advantage of you. However, old people get really lonely, confused, and if they don't have any other person to turn to, then they're going to latch on to a person. So, the solution is to find other people to help.

My mum and I took care of my gran during the last two years of her life when her alzheimer's was really bad. We bathed her, gave her the meds she needed. One time, I hurt my back (me, a strong 28 yr old woman and her a small 84 yr old woman) getting her out of bed. She would call me a slut. She didn't know where she was. It was incredibly hard.

When she went into the nursing home I met all of these old people who's families never visited them. They were so sad... Very sweet people just left there to die.

The world is getting shittier and shittier for older people. Every generation's outlook is getting bleaker economically, health care sucks, insurance sucks, so on and so forth.

Just bare that in mind, because you're either going to grow and die or die soon.

[PR3SSUR3]

She would call me a slut. She didn't know where she was. It was incredibly hard

It's funny how old people sometimes resort to uncharacteristically colourful language like this when they 'lose it'.

Like the old man who walks down my street and can be overheard constantly muttering "Fuck!", "Fucker!" and (what sounds like) "Slag-muncher!" to himself while fiddling with his thing through his trouser pocket.

Bless 'em.

[Phalanx]

See, the eskimos knew how to deal with these lippy old cunts...

[Haunted]

As the man once said...

[crabapple]

A good message.

[novakru]

Originally posted by Haunted


When she went into the nursing home I met all of these old people who's families never visited them. They were so sad... Very sweet people just left there to die.

The world is getting shittier and shittier for older people. Every generation's outlook is getting bleaker economically, health care sucks, insurance sucks, so on and so forth.

As mean as my grandmother was and is,this is why I would NEVER want her in a nursing home-and I've worked at a few in my lifetime so I doubly wouldn't want that for her.

I hear what you say about compassion and agree.
Some people truly deserve it...just not in my family:D