ATTN: Whiny Internet Kids

[The STE]

ATTN: Whiny Internet Kids…


You know all that pop music they play on MTV that you accuse of being cookie cutter and generic and lame? Well, why would so many people listen to it if it weren’t good? If groups like Broken Social Scene or whatever were so good, why don’t they get heavy radio or MTV rotation? Where’s Liars’ Grammy? The millions of people who listen to Jessica Simpson are in the right. You can tell because there’s so many of them. You guys who listen to bands that 8 other people listen to? You obviously have bad taste in music.

God is real and hates you for not being Jewish. You can cling to your hip and trendy “oh, God’s not real” outlook all you want, but don’t come crying your mascara-ridden tears to me when you get smote. I’ll be too busy getting smote, myself (I’m not Jewish either).

If you had any balls you’d sign up for the army and go fight in the middle east. “Oh, but the war is wrong and they’re killing innocent civilians, WHAAA!” Bull. Know how I know the war is right? Because it happened. If the war were wrong, we never would’ve done it. Same with those so-called innocents. If they were so innocent, why did they get shot to death?

Animals deserve to die because they taste so good. Our taste buds are more evolved and more important than every non-human (that includes Mexicans and women) life on this planet. In fact, they should just round up every animal on the planet and have like a little Animal Final Solution where we kill them all at once so we’ll have enough meat to eat forever. Fuck PETA.

Wicca isn’t cool. Chant all you want, you’re still going to be fat or un-cool or ugly or black. All you’re doing is giving those hippies at the magic store money for their drug habits. Do something useful with your time, like beating children.

Mumia is guilty.

You people who soak your keyboards with tears while you post your messages about how everybody hates you and thinks you’re stupid? They’re right. Same principle as the music theory. If so many people share this opinion, how could they be wrong? They’re not wrong. You’re wrong because it’s just you, and maybe one or two of your loser hippy friends.

Guys, don’t have sex with other guys. Ignore the fact that it’s evil. Don’t do it because it’s gross.

If 14 year old girls are going to dress like whores and have sweet racks, I should be able to have sex with them. If they don’t want my penis in them then they can dress like freakin’ 14 year old girls and have small boobs.

I applaud Wal-Mart for putting small, family owned shops out of business. If the smaller stores were any good, they would have stuck around. Except I still wouldn’t be shopping at them because non-chain stores smell like vitamin pills and feet. I want the places I shop at to smell cold and efficient, like a robot. God, robots are so fucking cool.

Outlaw special education. I don’t care if there are kids who need special attention or not. The kids that beat the shit out of them will give all the special attention they need. And if they grow into crazed high school students who bring guns one day and shoot up the school? Blame the deaths on the education system. If those dead kids were REALLY smart, they would’ve ducked.

Legalize abortion, but only because I hate children, and an early coat hanger can do way more damage than my car ever could, since the court made me take those spikes off the grill. Also, make abortion mandatory for anybody under a certain income level. That’ll take care of the poor people problems.

Asian people. I don’t think I need to say anything more.

If you’ve read this all the way through and you’re not offended at something, please respond with your particular subculture/ethnic group/whatever the hell’s wrong with you and I’ll incorporate you into a second rant (or just make an addendum if I’ve covered enough people in this one)

[Miss Olivia]

If they found a way to do retroactive abortions, I'm sure your mother would be the first one in line.

[The STE]

nah, she'd be too busy having sex with me

[noctuary]

If this is really what you think, I feel sorry for you.

[Despare]

Well... I thought it was funny heh.

[orangestar]

I giggled a bit

[Elvis_Christ]

Another self owning asshole post :rolleyes:

[monalisa]

Originally posted by The STE
ATTN: Whiny Internet Kids…


Our taste buds are more evolved and more important than every non-human (that includes Mexicans and women) life on this planet.


I women's taste buds were any more developed, there would be no more blow jobs. Sorry kiddo, but a man's crotch that has been safley tucked any in his jeans all day does NOT smell or taste good! And as for swallowing (which I know I brought up myself), it's because I think it's less mess, I don't want the stuff in my hair.
Just my opinon . oh that and THHHHPpppttttt!!!!! :)

[The STE]

Pfft. Penis doesn't taste THAT bad

[monalisa]

Originally posted by The STE
Pfft. Penis doesn't taste THAT bad

Ever tasted it? Maybe it's the cheesy substance that can build up between the penis and balls, or maybe it's that buttcrack smell. But trust me, I know if a girl doesn't keep it clean it can stink, but again, trust me unless you keep your "area" clean, it can smell even worse. And smell and taste are very closley related, if not a part of each other.

[The STE]

well, I keep my penis very clean, and I don't care about whether or not other guys are getting blowjobs, so...*shrug*

[monalisa]

Originally posted by The STE
well, I keep my penis very clean, and I don't care about whether or not other guys are getting blowjobs, so...*shrug*

I keep my little unit clean too, for the record, never had any complaiints although I have had rather incoherant compliments followed by a wide eyed "wow". He-he. Now if I could just find someone with a brain that works like mine, or at least compatible.

[Miss Olivia]

Well, it's nice to know that everybody here has nice clean genitalia. Of course, if you had a stinky twat or pecker you would probably lie and say it was nice and clean. It's a good thing there's no internet smell-o-vision because you'd have to download your crotch to prove it.

[The STE]

my crotch would be the most downloaded file on the internet

[monalisa]

Originally posted by The STE
my crotch would be the most downloaded file on the internet

nope, mine would win. No doubt about it!

[The STE]

yours might get the most of just the regular iTunes style legal downloading, but if we count the cool illegal downloading from bittorrents and LimeWire, mine would leave yours in the groin dust

[The Flayed One]

I'll add some later.

BTW, that is one of the greatest things I've ever read on INTERNETs.

[PR3SSUR3]

I suppose this means we should all refer to you now as a racist homophobe spastic-hater with a kinky paedophobic desire for forced sex with children.

They say all publicity is good publicity but I dunno....

:confused:

[Haunted]

Haw!

[AUSTIN316426808]

Funny, I thought I heard Mencia say he didn't know how to use computers.

[monalisa]

Originally posted by PR3SSUR3
I suppose this means we should all refer to you now as a racist homophobe spastic-hater with a kinky paedophobic desire for forced sex with children.

They say all publicity is good publicity but I dunno....

:confused:
Huh??? I just know I take pride in knowing my little unit is clean. And I believe would win hands down (no pun intended) against Sam's or anyone elses unit. Enough bragging, I'm starting to feel stupid about it....but I'd still win. :) And if it wasn't the truth, I wouldn't have brought it up or replied to it. More than you all wanted to know, I know, sorry.

[meetthecreeper]

When this guy runs for president, I want to be the guy that assassinates him.

[monalisa]

Which guy, I'm a girl.

[AUSTIN316426808]

I think those comments are for whoever wrote the original post.

[Dante'sInferno]

Originally posted by AUSTIN316426808
I think those comments are for whoever wrote the original post. I think so too...

[monalisa]

Oh, you mean Sam. Never mind. heh heh *steps back quietly into the shadows*

[monalisa]

...me want Sam... j/k!!!!!

[PR3SSUR3]

Huh??? I just know I take pride in knowing my little unit is clean. And I believe would win hands down (no pun intended) against Sam's or anyone elses unit. Enough bragging, I'm starting to feel stupid about it....but I'd still win. And if it wasn't the truth, I wouldn't have brought it up or replied to it. More than you all wanted to know, I know, sorry.

No offense, but what the Jesus are you talking about?

lol!

[monalisa]

Originally posted by PR3SSUR3
No offense, but what the Jesus are you talking about?

lol!

Sam and I got into a discussion about clean or unclean units. Read back farther in the thread if you don't understand.

[Haunted]

Originally posted by PR3SSUR3
No offense, but what the Jesus are you talking about?

lol!

Great Blackbeard's arse! You said Jesus and lol! in the same post!!!

You're slipping on me, Pr3ssur3!;) :D You could have been suave and said "What the deuce are you talking about, woman? :D "

Haw! I kid. I kid.

By the way, do any of you know satire when you read it?

Jonathan Swift, eat your heart out (if you weren't already dead)!

[The Flayed One]

Originally posted by Haunted
By the way, do any of you know satire when you read it?

:confused:

http://ewancient.lysator.liu.se/pic/art/n/w/nw/satyr.gif

[PR3SSUR3]

Sam and I got into a discussion about clean or unclean units. Read back farther in the thread if you don't understand

Right, gotcha - guessing a 'unit' is a penis, or a vagina.

Though I'm not sure what this has to do with the racist, homo/paedophobic or paedophilic issues.

[knife_fight]

Originally posted by The Flayed One
:confused:

http://ewancient.lysator.liu.se/pic/art/n/w/nw/satyr.gif


I don't know satyr when I read it, either.

[Soloman Kane]

FUNNY SHIT !!! REMEMBER TO KEEP YOUR UNITS CLEAN KIDS OR THE COMMIES WILL GET YOU !!!

[Dante'sInferno]

And if you dont keep it clean then the herpes fairy will come get you!











:eek:


(The herpes fairy is watching YOU.)

[Haunted]

Well, I didn't want to brag, but I can't keep it a secret any longer...

My unit is sooo glorious that a subtle glow emits from between me legs. (And no it's not a flashlight that got stuck up there whilest I was pleasuring myself... before any of you get any silly ideas). I have truly, the "holiest of holies." I have been blessed with the most beautiful hoochie on the planet.

Worship me.

[Yeti.13]

Originally posted by Haunted
Well, I didn't want to brag, but I can't keep it a secret any longer...

My unit is sooo glorious that a subtle glow emits from between me legs. (And no it's not a flashlight that got stuck up there whilest I was pleasuring myself... before any of you get any silly ideas). I have truly, the "holiest of holies." I have been blessed with the most beautiful hoochie on the planet.

Worship me.

Sure thats not just the sunshine shining out your arse??:D

[Soloman Kane]

Originally posted by Haunted
Well, I didn't want to brag, but I can't keep it a secret any longer...

My unit is sooo glorious that a subtle glow emits from between me legs. (And no it's not a flashlight that got stuck up there whilest I was pleasuring myself... before any of you get any silly ideas). I have truly, the "holiest of holies." I have been blessed with the most beautiful hoochie on the planet.

Worship me.
Oh is that what that light was the other night! I thought it was the batsignal!! Haunted always answering my questions for me. :D ;)

[The STE]

Originally posted by AUSTIN316426808
Funny, I thought I heard Mencia say he didn't know how to use computers.

Fuck Mencia. He's a hack comedian who got a TV show doing a shitty immitation of Dave Chappelle's table scraps

[Miss Olivia]

HOLY RADIOACTIVE COOTCHIE, BATMAN!!!!:D

[AUSTIN316426808]

Originally posted by The STE
Fuck Mencia. He's a hack comedian who got a TV show doing a shitty immitation of Dave Chappelle's table scraps


I don't like the fucker, some of that just sounds like hieghtened versions of his crap act.

[Soloman Kane]

Haunted how could you torture me all these years? I kept thinking it was the Batsignal when it was you all along. I feel so dirty now. I'am nothing then a bat whore! I will hang my head in shame.:D

[The STE]

Originally posted by AUSTIN316426808
I don't like the fucker, some of that just sounds like hieghtened versions of his crap act.

Like what?

Anyways, my rant was more layered than any of his jokes could ever be

[AUSTIN316426808]

Originally posted by The STE
Like what?

Anyways, my rant was more layered than any of his jokes could ever be



''God is real...''

''Guys, don't have sex with other...''

''If 14 year old girls...''

''I applaud Wal-Mart...''


Just resembles stuff I've heard him say. Of course he makes everything stupid and/or offensive.

[The STE]

nah, I don't say Beaner enough to sound like Mencia

[Haunted]

Originally posted by Soloman Kane
Haunted how could you torture me all these years? I kept thinking it was the Batsignal when it was you all along. I feel so dirty now. I'am nothing then a bat whore! I will hang my head in shame.:D

Kane, if you can't tell the difference between a bat symbol and a raven symbol, then I don't know what you've been doing with your life.;) I mean, do you honestly think that if I spread my legs a giant bat is going to appear in the sky...

The cootchie power of a Priestess of The Morrighan, ladies and gentlemen...

Oh and Mencia is... What do you call those people who think their humor is really witty and intelligent espcially when they throw in the odd "fuck" in the wrong place, when really they aren't funny, are really stupid, completely ignorant, and should have their jaws wired shut and kicked off the Hoover Dam? It's on the tip of my tongue, but I just can't think of it.

[Miss Olivia]

Well, a raven and a bat are both winged animals, now he'll know for sure...;)
How about pompous? I always liked that word....

[The STE]

Originally posted by Haunted
Oh and Mencia is... What do you call those people who think their humor is really witty and intelligent espcially when they throw in the odd "fuck" in the wrong place, when really they aren't funny, are really stupid, completely ignorant, and should have their jaws wired shut and kicked off the Hoover Dam? It's on the tip of my tongue, but I just can't think of it.

Mexican? DEE DEE DEE!

[monalisa]

Originally posted by Miss Olivia
Well, a raven and a bat are both winged animals, now he'll know for sure...;)
How about pompous? I always liked that word....

Just for the record, a Bat is a mammal, a Raven is a bird.

-Signed, the one with the very clean unit but that doesn't glow like Haunted's. :)

[orangestar]

Originally posted by Haunted


Oh and Mencia is... What do you call those people who think their humor is really witty and intelligent espcially when they throw in the odd "fuck" in the wrong place, when really they aren't funny, are really stupid, completely ignorant, and should have their jaws wired shut and kicked off the Hoover Dam? It's on the tip of my tongue, but I just can't think of it.


I couldn't have said it better myself.

[Miss Olivia]

Originally posted by monalisa
Just for the record, a Bat is a mammal, a Raven is a bird.

-Signed, the one with the very clean unit but that doesn't glow like Haunted's. :)

Yes, I'm not a fucking retard. The last time I checked, a bird and a bat were both animals. Did I say one was a vegetable or mineral?

[monalisa]

Originally posted by Miss Olivia
Yes, I'm not a fucking retard. The last time I checked, a bird and a bat were both animals. Did I say one was a vegetable or mineral?

No and neither did I. I simlpy stated a fact about birds and mammels, both of them are animals. AND I never called you a retard either. You basically called yourself that, but i guess you would know yourself better than anyone else. :rolleyes:

[Miss Olivia]

No, you were trying to be smart, and obviously that's not something you should be doing. Trying to kiss ass to some members and put down others is not a wise thing to do....of course, I don't know why I'm even bothering with someone who obviously needs approval as much as you do.Your comment was bitchy, and you know it.
Anyone who spends as much time as you did trying to convince the world how cute her cunt is is obviously very insecure. Haunted's posts were humorous, and didn't have the ring of desperation that yours did.

[PR3SSUR3]

Girls, girls... let the ladies in my new avatar set the example.

:cool:

[monalisa]

Originally posted by Miss Olivia
No, you were trying to be smart, and obviously that's not something you should be doing. Trying to kiss ass to some members and put down others is not a wise thing to do....of course, I don't know why I'm even bothering with someone who obviously needs approval as much as you do.Your comment was bitchy, and you know it.
Anyone who spends as much time as you did trying to convince the world how cute her cunt is is obviously very insecure. Haunted's posts were humorous, and didn't have the ring of desperation that yours did.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but I wasn't trying to be "smart" or "bitchy", as you put it. I was just being my usual anal self and pointing out a mundane detail about birds and bats. Didin't mean anything about it. :rolleyes:

And I personaly don't kiss up to anyone, some people I like and I got along with and some I don't. And that can change too as you get to know pepple better.

The whole "Unit" thing was just joking around. When Sam makes comments about his sexual prowess, everyone either thinks its funny or ignores it because that's just the way he is. Anyway, it was in fun, it wasn't meant to offend anyone.

And and please don't think you know me better than I do, because you most certainly don't. I quote "No, you were trying to be smart, and obviously that's not something you should be doing." You were wrong, very wrong, and insulting.

Peace
-monalisa

[PR3SSUR3]

When Sam makes comments about his sexual prowess, everyone either thinks its funny or ignores it because that's just the way he is

Yes - leave his irony alone.

[Haunted]

And I make hoochie jokes because if men can make dick jokes then why the hell not. It gives me a sense of empowerment. Yet I still shower, shave my legs and underarms. Rawr!

[monalisa]

Originally posted by Haunted
And I make hoochie jokes because if men can make dick jokes then why the hell not. It gives me a sense of empowerment. Yet I still shower, shave my legs and underarms. Rawr!

And that's why I make "unit" jokes (unit covers both sexes). men are always bragging about the size of their dicks, so I thought I'd do a little bragging myself. And I think we've all heard enough tuna jokes to last us a lifetime. That's why I said "hey guess what guys, your area can get very stinky too".

Geez, I has just joking around, I never thought people would become so touchy, that I'd have to explain it even when I was just joking. But whatever. :rolleyes:

[PR3SSUR3]

Q: Would a woman ever brag about having a large vagina? Or is it the other way around?

[monalisa]

Originally posted by PR3SSUR3
Q: Would a woman ever brag about having a large vagina? Or is it the other way around?

It's the other way around, tight vagina = good

Just trying to help. :)

[Haunted]

Also, bragging about having a tasty clit is another "good thing."

Par example: I, Haunted, have a pierced and tastey clitoris. Worship me, all ye men folk.

You see?

[Miss Olivia]

Well, it really did sound like a bitchy little comment to me, but if you say it's not I'm willing to drop it. Sometimes my temper gets the better of me, andI've always had trouble with letting things slide. So, if I misunderstood, I'm sorry. But when people quote me and then write something like "Just for the record, a bat is a mammal and a raven is a bird" is sounds like you're being a smartass, just for the record.

[The Flayed One]

Originally posted by Miss Olivia
Well, it really did sound like a bitchy little comment to me, but if you say it's not I'm willing to drop it. Sometimes my temper gets the better of me, andI've always had trouble with letting things slide. So, if I misunderstood, I'm sorry. But when people quote me and then write something like "Just for the record, a bat is a mammal and a raven is a bird" is sounds like you're being a smartass, just for the record.

I suggest bikini oil wrestling to settle this. I'm assuming newb will bring some beer?

[PR3SSUR3]

I'll supply the stockings and suspenders.

[Haunted]

Originally posted by Miss Olivia
Well, it really did sound like a bitchy little comment to me, but if you say it's not I'm willing to drop it. Sometimes my temper gets the better of me, andI've always had trouble with letting things slide. So, if I misunderstood, I'm sorry. But when people quote me and then write something like "Just for the record, a bat is a mammal and a raven is a bird" is sounds like you're being a smartass, just for the record.

Now that's really cool. That is just really fucking cool. I was really bummed when you guys were upset with each other, because I think you both are spiffy. I'm glad you're making up.

By the way... Miss Olivia... Are you a Voodoo Priestess or are into Hoodoo at all... maybe it's the name, Miss Olivia. I just picture you on darksome night in a sort of New Orleans style gypsy blouse and a flowing red skirt with a large black cockrel sitting a' top your shoulder. There's mischief in your eyes. I don't know what it is...

See, Pr3ssur3 and I were fussin', but I PM'd him, and we chatted over that for a bit, and now I know where he's coming from. He's not such a bad fellow, I just didn't understand him and took his remarks way out of context. We don't necessarily jive to the same music, but my theory is that you should never dislike someone for being different. It's far more interesting to learn their perspective. So, I keep bugging him to tell me about his thinks.

[Miss Olivia]

You're a pretty perceptive lady....at one point I was dabbling with voodoo, but I kind of dabbled in everything. I was trying to find an outlet that fit me, but since my wild try-everything spell, I just sort of made up my own religion to follow....The Church of Dawn Olivia:)

[Haunted]

Ha! Thought you might be a lady o' spirit right from your first post.

I've just recently started studying Voodoo and Hoodoo. As a Witch/Occultist, I've made up my mind to try and study as many different Occult traditions as possible.

I've found that the African and Afro-American traditions get so little attention and respect, when in fact they are extremely interesting. It also pisses me off that the Egyptian tradition has been taken out of it's fundamental African roots and bastardized in European and Hellenic traditions.

I mean it's really hard to really get to study the Occult-ness of ancient Egypt without having to deal with Greek and European bullshit infultrating it's innitial ground. It is an African magickal tradition and should be treated as such, damnit!

[Miss Olivia]

LOL sounds pretty frustrating....if you have a good thing, it doesn't seem to stay yours for long, and egyptian rites and ceremonies were just so fascinating....Voodoo is a colorful religion, for sure. There are so many different things blended into it....and it's cool that the different regions of the world have varying versions, almost like the different sects of Christianity. Are you taking a school class in World Religion?

[The Flayed One]

To say I'd like to just have a beer and talk with you both on this subject for long periods of time is an understatement.

That being said, can we get to the oil wrestling, already?!

[Haunted]

Originally posted by Miss Olivia
LOL sounds pretty frustrating....if you have a good thing, it doesn't seem to stay yours for long, and egyptian rites and ceremonies were just so fascinating....Voodoo is a colorful religion, for sure. There are so many different things blended into it....and it's cool that the different regions of the world have varying versions, almost like the different sects of Christianity. Are you taking a school class in World Religion?

I have a Bachelors in Religious Studies. I've been studying the Occult since I was a kid, but I've been a practicing Witch since...technically... a week before I turned sixteen (although they say that most Witches are born that way but have to discover it for themselves... Were I not born in the "Bible Belt" I'd have probably would have accepted my path in the Craft [not that piece of shit film] much earlier.

[Miss Olivia]

I know EXACTLY what you mean.I was raised in south Georgia and my parents were extremely religious and extremely strict, and I had no choices of my own until I left their care and went out on my own....I think I went a little crazy for a while because freedom was so intoxicating, but I eventually stopped running from my upbringing and accepted the good parts of it and cast off the bad. It was the smartest thing I ever did.
Besides moving to California, of course;)

[monalisa]

Originally posted by Miss Olivia
Well, it really did sound like a bitchy little comment to me, but if you say it's not I'm willing to drop it. Sometimes my temper gets the better of me, andI've always had trouble with letting things slide. So, if I misunderstood, I'm sorry. But when people quote me and then write something like "Just for the record, a bat is a mammal and a raven is a bird" is sounds like you're being a smartass, just for the record.

I'm anal and sometimes can come off sounding bitchy when I don't mean to. So if I sounded bitchy, I apologize. It really wasn't meant that way, OK?

Don't mean to bring this up again, but I was gone all afternoon and I wanted to apologize. I don't like leaving things feeling all icky and angry.

Peace,
-monlisa

[Miss Olivia]

Awesome. I felt bad about it when I woke up this morning.
Sorry guys, no bikini oil wrestling today...

[The STE]

Originally posted by PR3SSUR3
Q: Would a woman ever brag about having a large vagina? Or is it the other way around?

taste, maybe?

"Licking my vagina is like getting punched in the mouth by deliciousness!"


definately not large. In my porn watching with the newly gained tapes, I've seen some large vaginas (although a more apt adjective would be droopy and/or baggy). It didn't look pleasant at all

[Haunted]

Originally posted by The STE
taste, maybe?

"Licking my vagina is like getting punched in the mouth by deliciousness!"


definately not large. In my porn watching with the newly gained tapes, I've seen some large vaginas (although a more apt adjective would be droopy and/or baggy). It didn't look pleasant at all

Well, I'll have you know that licking my vagina is like taking a "sledgehammer of pure ecstacy" to the face.

Yes... It's that fucking good. They should bottle the taste...

Heather's Hoochie: Taste Your Dreams

[monalisa]

Is it better plain or on the rocks? hehe ;)

[Haunted]

It makes a great Everclear martini... although, if the orgasms don't kill you, the acohol content probably would.

(Never thought about making an Everclear martini until just now...hmmm)