Has anyone wrote a short story?

[bloodcreature]

Has anyone wrote a short fiction story?

I like to write and submitted one of my stories in the fiction post. I would like to see some stories from other memebers.

[filmmaker2]

I was thinking of posting something at some point. I'll be sure to take a look at yours!

[The_Return]

Ive posted a couple down there, and Im actually working on another one right now.

[bloodcreature]

I looked for other stories, but didn't see any. What am I doing wrong?

[The_Return]

Your settings are on default. Right under the thread titles, there are things you can change. Set the last box to "the beginning", and you should be good.

[francis488]

It's been my childhood dream.. Unfortunately, writing has been my waterloo since my grade 7 teacher introduced me to the complex world of basic sentence construction. :(

[Miss Olivia]

You know, I hadn't written anything for a long time until I saw this post. I went and wrote a short for the horror fiction post. Thanks for the thought.:)

[newb]

Originally posted by francis488
It's been my childhood dream.. Unfortunately, writing has been my waterloo since my grade 7 teacher introduced me to the complex world of basic sentence construction. :(
Thanks.....I've been waiting years to post this pic.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v259/rockinmule/354px-Napoleon_Bonaparte.jpg

[bloodcreature]

Hasn't anyone else wrote a short story they would like read?

It would be great if we read each other's stories and comment.

[Zero]

WRITTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT IS "WRITTEN" not "has anyone wrote" - - - if you could write a sentence like "has anyone wrote" then, to be painfully honest, this dream of writing is exactly that - A DREAM!!!!!!

[bloodcreature]

Big deal. It is why we have editors. If you read my story you would notice that I catch most of these little mistakes.

If you have a story, let me know. Horror stories is all I care about.

[The STE]

Originally posted by francis488
It's been my childhood dream.. Unfortunately, writing has been my waterloo since my grade 7 teacher introduced me to the complex world of basic sentence construction. :(

read something like Requiem for a Dream or Naked Lunch or House of Leaves, THEN tell me that basic sentence construction is a reason not to write anything...

[bloodcreature]

All great writers have great editors and all great writers listen to their great editors... it's how the writing world goes around.

It amazes me how people tolerate uncapitalized words, misspellings and "2" instead of "two", as but a few examples, in all the post. But let someone accidentally use the wrong tense of a word and they can't write.

Real stupid.

I want to hear about stories. If you wrote one, tell me about it. I want to read your SHORT STORY.

[Zero]

Originally posted by bloodcreature
All great writers have great editors and all great writers listen to their great editors... it's how the writing world goes around.

It amazes me how people tolerate uncapitalized words, misspellings and "2" instead of "two", as but a few examples, in all the post. But let someone accidentally use the wrong tense of a word and they can't write.

Real stupid.

I want to hear about stories. If you wrote one, tell me about it. I want to read your SHORT STORY.

i have a horrific short story called REVENGE OF THE COPYEDITOR - its very gory and is filled with COMMA SPLICES (and DICES)!


geez- do you think your imagination is so awesome that your utter inability to render a single sentence within the broad parameters of the english language can be overcome. . .

(ALSO - PLEASE head down to the often neglected "post your fiction" section and spare us these ramblings)

[horrorobsessed]

i started writing something once. everyone i showed it to thought it was really good, but i never really figured out what i wanted to write about.
like i started it but never finished it cause i didn't know what the plot was going to be about.

[bloodcreature]

Zero, in your hardened ego do you really think you speak for everyone when you say, "spare us your rambling"?

Please... your're definitely not "Us".

If you did write this story I will read it and offer a full critique.

[bloodcreature]

Just checked the neglected fiction post and you didn't write a story. You lied.

It is neglected and I'm trying to revive it.

Zero, write a story. In other words, put up or shut up. lol

You must be affraid of a critique.

[Zero]

oh my god - this Hemingway just actually looked to check and see if i had written a short story called "Revenge of the Copyeditor". . . i'm literally speechless . . .

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by bloodcreature
"I just checked the neglected fiction post and you didn't write a story... you lied. I figured it would be neglected and I tried to revive it. Zero, write a story. In other words, put up or shut up." He laughed suddenly to himself.
"You must be affraid of a critique."

There ya go... I edited that for ya.

[bloodcreature]

I prefer the first person but thanks for the edit. lol

[AUSTIN316426808]

Who exactly are you that we would want or for lord knows what reason, be afraid of your critique?

[bloodcreature]

Please... spare me the shit. Your not zero. Unless, this is a conspiracy and many of you send instant messages to each other. All I can say is... lame. lol

If you don't have a story, don't waste your time.

[AUSTIN316426808]

What the hell does me not being zero have to do with anything?

[The STE]

Originally posted by AUSTIN316426808
Who exactly are you that we would want or for lord knows what reason, be afraid of your critique?


Shhhh, if you ask that he might think people give a shit

[PR3SSUR3]

There ya go... I edited that for ya.

You left two 'f's in 'afraid'.

Sacked!

[The Flayed One]

I bumped mine. Awaiting your response.

[bloodcreature]

I'm going to read it now.

[Zero]

Originally posted by AUSTIN316426808
What the hell does me not being zero have to do with anything?

wait???? i always thought Austin was my secret alter ego? but now - SHOCK HORROR - you tell me we are NOT the same person. . . mind whirling, losing sense of self. . .

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by PR3SSUR3
You left two 'f's in 'afraid'.

Sacked!

Shit, I did leave two f's... Shit, so I am sacked. Man, I am so completely sacked...

[PR3SSUR3]

Relax - you're sackless.

;)

[bloodcreature]

Flayed one, I left feedback for your story.

[bloodcreature]

Originally posted by AUSTIN316426808
Who exactly are you that we would want or for lord knows what reason, be afraid of your critique?

"You" is singular and referred to zero, you said "we" as if I spoke to everyone. Still confused?

Just post a story and I will critique.

[The_Return]

I put another one up.

[PR3SSUR3]

I don't think I'm wrong in thinking they are getting worked up enough to say, soon enough, something like: "Suck our (plural) balls," or "Sample our (plural) aged rectums.".

[bloodcreature]

Originally posted by Zero
i have a horrific short story called REVENGE OF THE COPYEDITOR - its very gory and is filled with COMMA SPLICES (and DICES)!



geez- do you think your imagination is so awesome that your utter inability to render a single sentence within the broad parameters of the english language can be overcome. . .

(ALSO - PLEASE head down to the often neglected "post your fiction" section and spare us these ramblings)

The "i" should be capitalized and you might want to put the story title in quotations considering you use all caps on certain parts of your sentences. Also, all caps is screaming. Why are you so loud?

Another thing "its" should be it's as in it is, "english" should be capitalized, "COPYEDITOR" is two words, the "g" in geez should be capitalized and "geez isn't a word. I think you meant "Jeez".

My, my, my... your command of the English language is astounding to say the least.

I think that just about does it. Of course, my inability to render a single sentence in the broad parameters of the English language may have affected my ability to edit this post.

[PR3SSUR3]

You've spelt "ego", "definately", "you're" and "afraid" wrong so far.

Therefore, I'm not so sure these are going to be reliable critiques.

[bloodcreature]

Originally posted by PR3SSUR3
You've spelt "ego", "definately", "you're" and "afraid" wrong so far.

Therefore, I'm not so sure these are going to be reliable critiques.

You spelled definitely incorrectly. So we all make mistakes, just my point entirely.


I'm not making claims that I use perfect English, far from it. I merely pointed out the fact that zero doesn't either, and has no reason to complain about my usage.

Anyway, thanks for showing me my errors. Ego and definitely where a typos... you're was just a fuck-up. Also, I didn't spell afraid wrong.

[PR3SSUR3]

You definately spelt 'afraid' wrong, sir - twice now.

Whoops - 'definitely'... I'm as bad as you.

;)

[AUSTIN316426808]

Originally posted by bloodcreature
"You" is singular and referred to zero, you said "we" as if I spoke to everyone. Still confused?

Just post a story and I will critique.


Whatever the fuck ever, I didn't know I had to be so technical.

[bloodcreature]

We don't have to be so technical, but others are holding me to it. We all could use some help with spelling and grammar, and this is my point for responding to zero correcting me.

It's not a big deal to make mistakes. It's a human forum.

Yes, I didn spell afraid wrong. I keep hitting the "f" key among others as I type fast. Add that to my shitty grammar and my posts can be a mess. lol

[PR3SSUR3]

Irresistibly, you also spelt 'did' wrong.

BTW this isn't a human forum.

>Quark!<

Bleep.

:D

[bloodcreature]

Fuck! I did it again. You know... this could go on forever.

:p

I'm just going to my little corner and shutting my little self up.

[Miss Olivia]

Originally posted by PR3SSUR3
I don't think I'm wrong in thinking they are getting worked up enough to say, soon enough, something like: "Suck our (plural) balls," or "Sample our (plural) aged rectums.".

Ummm....aged rectums?
Are rectums supposed to be like cheese or wine? Do they get better with age? I know nothing of rectums other than how to wipe mine....
Are they going to start having rectum samplings like all the vineyards out here do with wine? Will rich flatlanders come up from the bay area to sample aged butthole? Will I ever stop finishing these sentances with question marks?:eek:
:D

[Zero]

Originally posted by Miss Olivia
Ummm....aged rectums?
Are rectums supposed to be like cheese or wine? Do they get better with age? I know nothing of rectums other than how to wipe mine....
Are they going to start having rectum samplings like all the vineyards out here do with wine? Will rich flatlanders come up from the bay area to sample aged butthole? Will I ever stop finishing these sentances with question marks?:eek:
:D

the key is to have a fine whine with one's aged rectum - - - c'est un bon marriage!

[EggMan]

OMG y do u use this thread to talk about grammar people we are meant to be talking about other stuff Are you all GOTHIC :eek: :confused: :rolleyes:

[Zero]

Originally posted by EggMan
OMG y do u use this thread to talk about grammar people we are meant to be talking about other stuff Are you all GOTHIC :eek: :confused: :rolleyes:

i'm sorry - i don't believe in predestination - so i don't accept the idea that i'm "MEANT" to talk about anything (let alone "other stuff")


speaking of which - i always fear moments of de ja vu - i fear in particular that i'm either caught in a moment of predestination or a moment of eternal recurrence - either way, its a scary prospect. . . for years my simple solution was to say out loud to whoever was standing nearby "rhinoceros" --- now this may seem a silly thing to say it has always effectively ended a moment of de ja vous because it is so improbable for someone to say 'rhinocerous' to another person for no particular reason. . .

but, and here's the scary bit, the last time i had de ja vu i said the magic word and had the eerie sensation that i had said that before. . . . . ... ......:eek:

[The STE]

Originally posted by bloodcreature
Ego and definitely where a typos...

huh?

[PR3SSUR3]

the key is to have a fine whine with one's aged rectum

So you're saying I have to be with my old arsehole and complain snivellingly to the very highest standard?

[bwind22]

This thread has been turned every bit as gay/dorky/retarded as a bunch Star Trek nerds arguing over the standard amount of ripples on Klingons forehead or something....


But.... The original topic, short stories, is of interest, so now I'll respond to that.

I posted the first scene of a screenplay I'm working on a few months ago. I'll go bump the thread and post a link once I find it.

[bwind22]

I bumped it in the filmmaker forum, but the latest revision is in the middle of the 2nd page so I just figured it'd be easier for you to locate if I just copy & pasted here.

In the interest of disclosure, I already know it's not in proper screenplay form. I figured this would be easier to read/follow online...



--------------------------------------------------------------



SCENE 1 - Interior, home. 1992

(Clay & Mary are heard arguing loudly about Clay being a deadbeat drunk as Nathan is seen in front of the tv watching Friday the 13th.)

CLAY - I'm that one that puts food on the table, aren't I? Didn't I always provide for you two? What more do you want from me?

MARY - You've been unemployed for 2 MONTHS now Clay! 2 MONTHS!!! You aren't even LOOKING for jobs anymore!

(Mary is on the verge of having a breakdown.)

CLAY - There aint any out there! How many times do I gotta tell ya!

MARY - Oh, well... I guess you should just give up then! I guess Nathan and I will just go live in a cardboard box somewhere because you're TOO LAZY to get off your ass and get a job to provide for your own family!

CLAY - Go to hell! I dont have to listen to this!

(Clay gets up and starts putting on his coat.)

MARY - Where are you going?

CLAY - I'm goin down to Ernies!

MARY - Yeah, of course you are! Go get drunk like you always do loser!

CLAY - Bitch.

(Clay exits out the front door, slamming it behind him as Mary immediately breaks into tears and runs up to the bedroom, leaving Nathan to watch his Friday the 13th on his own.)

-Fade out/Fade back in approx 90 minutes later.-

(Nathan is still laying on the floor watching his movie when Clay comes home drunk and pissed. He's yelling right as he walks in the door.)

CLAY - Nathan, how many times do I have to tell you to clean up your fuckin toys?!

(Nathan looks around but the only toy out is the Jason Voorhies figure he's playing with while watching the movie.)

Nathan (scared) - I, I did, Dad.

(Out of nowhere, Clay smacks Nathan in the head.)

CLAY - Dont you fuckin talk back to me boy!

(Nathan sits in silence and fights back tears.)

CLAY - You gonna cry now you little pussy? You wanna cry?

(Hearing the commotion, Mary has re-entered the room now.)

MARY - You leave him alone! He didn't do anything wrong!

CLAY - Yeah... Alright. This is all your fault anyways!

MARY - My fault? How-

(Clay smacks her in the face before she can finish speaking.)

CLAY - Dont YOU fuckin talk back to me either! I think I've listened to enough shit from you for one night! Now I know where the kid gets it from!

MARY - You asshole!

CLAY - What did you call me?

(Clay aggressively attacks Mary and pounds on her for a minute while she tries to defend herself. After he stops pummelling her, she's swollen and bruised and sobbing. Clay has no sympathy...)

CLAY - Dont you EVER raise your voice to me again, you understand me woman?

MARY (Trembling) - I, I...

CLAY - You what?

MARY - Clay, I'm leaving you. I want a divorce!

(Clay's eyes show rage as he silently turns and leaves the room. Mary continues sobbing. A moment later Clay returns with shotgun which he points at Mary...)

CLAY - You think you can leave me? Here's your fuckin divorce bitch.

(Mary puts her hands out and screams for mercy.)

BANG!

(Mary falls to the floor dead.)

CLAY (to Mary) - Til Death do us part, remember?

(Clay then looks at Nathan, who is now watching in stunned silence...)

CLAY - What the fuck are you lookin at?

(Clay then turns the shotgun on himself...)

BANG!

(As the second shot is heard and Clay falls to the ground, the camera pans down to the blood pooling on the floor next to Clay {Mary is partially in the camera shot as well.} Nathan approaches his mom's body and speaks to it softly...)

Nathan - Mommy? Mom?

(After standing over his mom for a few seconds and getting no response, Nathan silently turns back around and sits back down in front of the couch where he continues watching Friday the 13th until it ends {It is almost over when he sits down.} Once his movie ends, Nathan calmly stands up, steps over both bodies and picks up the phone. He calls 9-1-1.)

Nathan - I think my mommy got hurt...

FADE OUT

END SCENE

[bloodcreature]

I don't know. It could be interesting... the argument that is. But it needs something more. Do you have the completed screen play?

[bwind22]

It is still a work in progress but I wouldn't be posting it for anyone to steal/borrow/plaguerize even if I did.

That's why I only posted the 1st scene.

[Kemal]

Originally posted by The STE
read something like Requiem for a Dream or Naked Lunch or House of Leaves, THEN tell me that basic sentence construction is a reason not to write anything...

You can break the rules for artistic effect sometimes, but only after you understand them so that you can do it in the right way.

[bloodrayne]

Originally posted by EggMan
OMG y do u use this thread to talk about grammar people we are meant to be talking about other stuff Are you all GOTHIC :eek: :confused: :rolleyes: Gothic=Grammar ?????????...What the fuck?

[VampiricClown]

Originally posted by EggMan
[/FONT] Are you all GOTHIC :eek: :confused: :rolleyes:

Not all of us....Just me. :D

[Elvis_Christ]

Eggs were cracked into the pan
Lunacy...... Crackled Spat
Turned Black
It stopped stealing while I was thinking of smoking cigarettes.
We both died
But I was drunk again.

[newb]

Originally posted by Elvis_Christ
Eggs were cracked into the pan
Lunacy...... Crackled Spat
Turned Black
It stopped stealing while I was thinking of smoking cigarettes.
We both died
But I was drunk again.

Holy shit....that was deep...I want what Elvis is drinking!:D

[The Flayed One]

Originally posted by EggMan
OMG y do u use this thread to talk about grammar people we are meant to be talking about other stuff Are you all GOTHIC :eek: :confused: :rolleyes:

http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/user_images/pics/1/4942000/ngbbs4266bdf300332.jpg

[Amalthea]

I haven't written for months!

[Elvis_Christ]

Originally posted by newb
Holy shit....that was deep...I want what Elvis is drinking!:D

Early Times n' water holmes :)