Miserable=me [Archive] - Horror.com Forums

Posher778

04-11-2006, 03:17 PM

I just don't know how to deal with this anymore... It's literally killing me, and I can't escape it. I've loved this girl for months and until now, I could just deal with it and not say anything. She's one of my best friends, and it could easily ruin our friendship if I asked her out and she said no, and i'd rather die then be without her as a friend, and I don't know what to do. I haven't been happy to the fullest in MONTHS because of this. Someone... help...

scouse mac

04-11-2006, 03:30 PM

Been there my friend and its not a happy place as you're finding out. From my experience it would be best for you to talk to her about what you think and feel towards her. No matter what the outcome it will ease all the pressure you're feeling and you never know, she may reciprocate your feelings. Even if she doesn't your long term friendship shouldn't be affected if its a strong friendship and besides everyone likes to know someone fancies them so it shouldn't be bad for her to hear. It may be awkward and a little uncomfortable at first but you have to come clean and see where the dice fall.

Good Luck.

Dude Guadalupe

04-11-2006, 03:32 PM

My advice, just be straight with her. Just try not to sound desperate or crazy........chicks don't dig that.

Posher778

04-11-2006, 03:39 PM

I'm debating telling her, but i'm like, the worlds most shy kid EVER.

scouse mac

04-11-2006, 03:46 PM

If thats the case you could try writing down what it is you want to say to her in order to get it clear in your own mind first. This will enable you to be prepared when you approach her about this, but dont be tempted to write her a note. I think it would be better, no matter the outcome, if this was done face to face so you can both talk about it and see where your relationship/ friendship would go.

Dude Guadalupe

04-11-2006, 03:49 PM

Shy? I was the definition of shy. Here's what I used to do, ask her hypothetical questions like "what would you do if I asked you out?" or something like that. It's painfully obvious but if it looks like it's about to go down hill just play it off as "what if" question. but like scouse mac said if it's a strong friendship, then there is really no danger of losing her as a friend.

Dude Guadalupe

04-11-2006, 03:51 PM

Originally posted by scouse mac
If thats the case you could try writing down what it is you want to say to her in order to get it clear in your own mind first. This will enable you to be prepared when you approach her about this, but dont be tempted to write her a note. I think it would be better, no matter the outcome, if this was done face to face so you can both talk about it and see where your relationship/ friendship would go. However this is much better advice than mine.

Posher778

04-11-2006, 03:54 PM

I think i'ma wait a while until some guy she likes graduates, because it'll be easier then.

Elvis_Christ

04-11-2006, 04:09 PM

Don't wait dude. Seriously just bite the bullet and go for it :)

The_Return

04-11-2006, 04:17 PM

Posh, I was in this exact same situation not too long ago. Just shows how all us of the younger setgo through the same things eh? Anyway, I just told her straight up, she said she'd rather stay friends, and that was that. Your situation might be different, but mine urned out for the better if anything because I told her. Then again, Im about the least shy person you could find, so...

Good luck with whatever you decide man. Im always here, drop me a P/M if you need to:)

scouse mac

04-11-2006, 04:20 PM

Originally posted by Elvis_Christ
Don't wait dude. Seriously just bite the bullet and go for it :)

I agree, dont wait. If you are serious about telling her then sooner is definately better than later. Once you start making excuses for putting it off you may find you'll never have the courage to do it all. Believe me I know its difficult, but nothing good in life is easy.

MisterSadistro

04-11-2006, 04:27 PM

Spank a hooker. Get a disease. YOu'll have too much to worry about in that case. :D
CK

Elvis_Christ

04-11-2006, 04:41 PM

Originally posted by MisterSadistro
Spank a hooker. Get a disease. YOu'll have too much to worry about in that case. :D
CK

Too expensive :)

The_Return

04-11-2006, 04:47 PM

Originally posted by Elvis_Christ
Too expensive :)

Not if you know where to look...

VampiricClown

04-11-2006, 05:12 PM

Yeah, like I was saying before, I just went through that with my best friend. I was nervous about asking, but I did. I think she would have said yes if she wasn't dating someone else (oops). But yeah, I'm still her best friend and all. Just ask. Look at it this way. If you never ask, you'll never know and it will just make you wish you had one day. I've been there. It's worse not knowing, than just getting the answer. Even if it's a no, you are still close friends with her. Just don't walk up and say, "Hey, Wanna go out with me?". Sit down and talk about it with her and let her know that even if she doesn't want to, that you want your friendship to stay the same. She will most likely understand. And my sources tell me she will go out with you.:)

Posher778

04-11-2006, 05:24 PM

Who are your sources? haha

newb

04-11-2006, 05:46 PM

http://horror.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=20586

Despare

04-11-2006, 07:27 PM

If you're REALLY in love with her than it's worth a shot but I hate to break it to you, you probably aren't. It's up to you but often times the risk is worth the reward. If you're REALLY close friends and she doesn't want to go out with you than she'll probably say something like "I think this friendship is too important to chance" or some other line of bull and then after a week or two the awkwardness will be gone and you'll be just friends again. If you ask her out though just tell her you'd like to TRY something more than friends, don't confess your undying love... keep it simple, easy to forget just in case.

Good luck.

VampiricClown

04-11-2006, 07:31 PM

Originally posted by Posher778
Who are your sources? haha

Oh believe me, you don't even want to know. :cool:

Angelakillsluts

04-11-2006, 07:39 PM

Originally posted by Despare
If you're REALLY in love with her than it's worth a shot but I hate to break it to you, you probably aren't. It's up to you but often times the risk is worth the reward. If you're REALLY close friends and she doesn't want to go out with you than she'll probably say something like "I think this friendship is too important to chance" or some other line of bull and then after a week or two the awkwardness will be gone and you'll be just friends again. If you ask her out though just tell her you'd like to TRY something more than friends, don't confess your undying love... keep it simple, easy to forget just in case.

Good luck.

I think you should take Despare's advice, Posher.

VampiricClown

04-11-2006, 07:42 PM

Originally posted by Angelakillsluts
I think you should take Despare's advice, Posher.

Yep, that's what I was trying to say, but I was talking to a bunch of people and I forgot over half of what I was gonna type. lol

Take his advice. It's worth a shot.

monalisa

04-11-2006, 08:09 PM

If you two have been friends for a long time, I'd say tell her how you feel. But say it in such a way that she knows you'll still be friends even if the "in love" thing doesen't happen. I have a friend that I've been friends with for about 23 years, and one night, when neither of us was going out with anyone, we decided to satisfy our curiouslity. It never lead to a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, actually I think we both knew that beforehand but we were curious. We are still friends and that was about 15 years ago. Actually I think it enhanced our friendship to get that out of the way. And on the other hand, some of the best relationships I've had started out as friendship. So I'd say go for it. Just don't be all freaky and clingy about it.

Posher778

04-12-2006, 03:12 AM

Originally posted by Angelakillsluts
I think you should take Despare's advice, Posher.

I agree... too bad she isn't going to school all week, rawr.

Haunted

04-12-2006, 05:37 AM

Everybody here has given you stellar advice, Posher. Here's my thought, and it's very similar only put differently.

Posher: You know (insert name) I feel so close to you that I could be more than friends with you.

Lady: I like our friendship the way it is.

Posher: I feel so close to you that I could do that too.

No problem. Take a few deep breaths, and the next time you hang out, act like the conversation never took place. Don't let her feel awkward. That's the key.

PR3SSUR3

04-12-2006, 05:56 AM

SKOOFx

04-12-2006, 10:35 AM

DONT TELL HER.

this is how freindships get ruined.

bottom line, if she felt the same, something would have happened..or will happen.

Ignore your feelings, just be kool chill you, and if she ever feels the same way. Something will happen, dont try to make it happen.

It never will.

I know it easier said than done, but based on personal experience, and statstics(checking out other posts of this nature) , its just better to let things happen naturally.

I dont know how old you are, but this seems like a "teen issue". Those relationships just dont work. And if they do, its only a matter of time before your "feelings" for her, get in the way of the original freinship that began it all.

She will feel weird.
She will want out.
You will be heart broken.
And you will have lost a freind.

Relationships happen on their own. Those are the ones that are long lasting.

The ones where you didnt even plan on a relationship, you just hung out..got close...bam..started with a kiss..and both parties say " hey...lets try something" ...they both nod..they kiss..and go back to BEING FREINDS..

the only difference is....there is booty....some xtra emoptional "open-ness"(like..i love you)...and thats it...

a freind who naturally became more....a freind who somehow became very close to you and visa versa..

dont chase it...you will never catch it.

VampiricClown

04-12-2006, 10:38 AM

ItsAlive75

04-12-2006, 11:22 AM

Stop being so depressed, guys... go out and get yourselves some women. I heard if you "don't use it, you lose it".

stubbornforgey

04-12-2006, 11:52 AM

Just be your casual self with this girl..
the thing is ..she obviously must like you too if she has been in a long standing freindship with her..however..the others are right..it could get awkward.
From the one experience I have ever had..
we were mates..we became very good mates and eventually ..after many years as mates ..we are now married and we are still the best of mates...but all situations differ.
However ..as VC said..don't leave it for
too long as she might find somebody and then your whole jealousy mode will kick in.
Like in that Lobo song..
I loved you too much to ever start liking
you..so don't expect me..to be your freind'
'stubborn lowers her head'

G.L on this anyway. :D

Posher778

04-12-2006, 12:24 PM

Originally posted by SKOOFx
DONT TELL HER.

this is how freindships get ruined.

bottom line, if she felt the same, something would have happened..or will happen.

Ignore your feelings, just be kool chill you, and if she ever feels the same way. Something will happen, dont try to make it happen.

It never will.

I know it easier said than done, but based on personal experience, and statstics(checking out other posts of this nature) , its just better to let things happen naturally.

I dont know how old you are, but this seems like a "teen issue". Those relationships just dont work. And if they do, its only a matter of time before your "feelings" for her, get in the way of the original freinship that began it all.

She will feel weird.
She will want out.
You will be heart broken.
And you will have lost a freind.

Relationships happen on their own. Those are the ones that are long lasting.

The ones where you didnt even plan on a relationship, you just hung out..got close...bam..started with a kiss..and both parties say " hey...lets try something" ...they both nod..they kiss..and go back to BEING FREINDS..

the only difference is....there is booty....some xtra emoptional "open-ness"(like..i love you)...and thats it...

a freind who naturally became more....a freind who somehow became very close to you and visa versa..

dont chase it...you will never catch it.

I'm sorry but I cannot take this advice. It's entirely not true for the most part. Yes I am a teen, and these relationships work out all the time. I have friends that have been dating for 2 years +

SKOOFx

04-12-2006, 12:37 PM

2 years + = nothing.

Thats not long at all. Usually things go wrong after 3.

Dont take it. Im kool with that.

But if she felt the same way, dont u think something would have happened? a kiss?..a few side comments?

If anything, dont even talk about it....that makes things awkward. Even if she does feel the same way....it might not be easy to talk about. You might just put her on the spot.

If anything, if you ever come across a romantic moment with her (DONT PLAN IT)....just go with the flow and dive in with a kiss. Thats the real test....that will show u where she stands...(a sweet kiss)

Let it happen gradually....after that..she will want to talk about it...or she might tell u where she stands on the spot.

dont take my advise...im just tossing in my 2 cents.

VampiricClown

04-12-2006, 12:44 PM

Originally posted by SKOOFx
2 years + = nothing.

Ummmm....Two years is a long time. My longest was 2 months. My parents got engaged after two years. They've been together 28 years.

Soloman Kane

04-12-2006, 01:01 PM

If you don't tell her then all your doing is torturing yourself. Right now your in a safe place & its comfortable but its not going to last. Eventually your friend is going to get a boyfriend. You'll think, "I'll out last this guy." Its possible you already have & thats great but what happens when you don't?
If you tell her how you feel then theres the rejection but at least your not hanging & hoping for something to happen. I've been in the friendship department. With my current girlfriend that lasted a total of a week. I could have waited & played all of the friendship game stuff but I have way more respect for her then that. At the moment your in hell & torturing yourself but rejection is better because you know where you stand & can move on. Believe me just tell her & move on. Perhaps it might work out. Who knows until you try.

monalisa

04-12-2006, 11:38 PM

Originally posted by VampiricClown
I've tried this....It didn't work. By the time I got around to asking, she was already engaged to another guy and hadn't told me yet. Fucking Diamond ring....

Wait I'm confused (easily done), is the girl you're presently talking about the same person that you said was engaged?