View Full Version : missing person report
stubbornforgey
03-02-2006, 11:01 AM
has anybody seen a small monkey man running around the forums..dragging his nekkie ass all over the place..
He answers to the name of 'zero'..
If you find him..please approach with caution..preferably..have a baseball bat ready.Also
warning ..do not feed him as he is likely to bite you...
Please return him to the owners of H.D.C
and ask the owners to tie the knot on the leash a bit tighter.
Reward of 10,00000000
0000000000000000000
000000000000000 fleas is on offer.
thank you..
flyers will follow shortly. :D
Haunted
03-02-2006, 11:09 AM
I saw him last night eating pickled onions and flirting with men.
Yellow Jacket
03-02-2006, 11:34 AM
Should we put "Zero" percent into this? :p
scouse mac
03-02-2006, 11:39 AM
Think I saw him, playing with his wee willy winky!
Yellow Jacket
03-02-2006, 11:49 AM
Here's a flyer (sorry stubborn, but I couldn't resist):
Nyarlathotep
03-02-2006, 11:49 AM
anyone tried the library
Yellow Jacket
03-02-2006, 11:50 AM
Originally posted by Yellow Jacket
Here's a flyer (sorry stubborn, but I couldn't resist):
If anybody can make this picture bigger, it'd be greatly appreciated!
mothermold
03-02-2006, 11:55 AM
He's on tour.
Nyarlathotep
03-02-2006, 12:02 PM
maybe he's taken up sports
stubbornforgey
03-02-2006, 12:10 PM
makin out with the neighbours huh??
Haunted
03-02-2006, 12:32 PM
Originally posted by Nyarlathotep
anyone tried the library
Yeah, like, Zero's gonna be in the library.:D Last time I checked they didn't serve porn.
Posher778
03-02-2006, 12:34 PM
Yeah, was wondering where the random funny comments had gone...
Yellow Jacket
03-02-2006, 12:37 PM
Maybe he's taken a new job as a janitor.
http://www.christopherjmullins.com/STORMCHASING/Monkey%20Plumber/slides/DSCN2488.JPG
VampiricClown
03-02-2006, 03:55 PM
I saw him hitchhiking down the road the other day.:D
ItsAlive75
03-02-2006, 03:56 PM
Zero's gone AWAL again? God, we gotta put a shock collar on that chimp...
Haunted
03-02-2006, 04:02 PM
Maybe he had a meeting with the Pope and had to take a red-eye to Vatican City.
Yellow Jacket
03-02-2006, 04:06 PM
Originally posted by Haunted
Maybe he had a meeting with the Pope and had to take a red-eye to Vatican City.
http://www.lukechueh.com/images/paintings/paintings-whole/Monkeys%20With%20Hats/pope.jpg
stubbornforgey
03-02-2006, 04:43 PM
gawd...wish he would quit monkeying around..
hahahahahaha 'knee slap' humor there.
still no sign of him huh..
gonna have to up the reward a couple of more fleas and a ripe banana.
Yellow Jacket
03-02-2006, 04:46 PM
I think he's cheating on us...
http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_aug2004/MonkeyBusiness.jpg
Perhaps he's gone "undercover"
http://www.randomimage.us/files/thumbsmember/431f13de75c2a.jpg
ok.....only the over 35 would probably get that. Its from an old tv show from 1972.......forget i said anything.....i'm old and senile.
bloodrayne
03-02-2006, 05:05 PM
@ Newb...oops...sorry..hit the wrong buttion
Originally posted by bloodrayne
@ Newb...oops...sorry..hit the wrong buttion
I feel so......VIOLATED.
bloodrayne
03-02-2006, 05:53 PM
Originally posted by newb
I feel so......VIOLATED. Heh...You WISH!!! :p
bloodrayne
03-02-2006, 07:09 PM
Originally posted by newb
Perhaps he's gone "undercover"
http://www.randomimage.us/files/thumbsmember/431f13de75c2a.jpg
ok.....only the over 35 would probably get that. Its from an old tv show from 1972.......forget i said anything.....i'm old and senile. BTW...If you upload images at Photobucket.Com you won't run into problems like this...
Hotlinking is bad...Shame on you :p
The Flayed One
03-03-2006, 05:20 AM
He's probably just working of a wicked hangover.
http://eclectech.co.uk/b3ta/monkeybeerfag.jpg
Originally posted by bloodrayne
BTW...If you upload images at Photobucket.Com you won't run into problems like this...
Hotlinking is bad...Shame on you :p
http://static.redjupiter.com/images/kerndems/dohhomer.gif
Originally posted by stubbornforgey
still no sign of him huh..
gonna have to up the reward a couple of more fleas and a ripe banana.
well. . . for a ripe bannana!!
apologies for the long silence - i've been on now and again, but not for very long - it is (honestly) very kind of you all to notice . . . it has really been the only nice thing that's happened to me this week. . . because:
I got dumped!! (taah daah!) Shocking, yes, who could resist an adorable monkey like myself . . .(well, actually I can answer that question in great detail as i know EXACTLY who could resist my charms and, indeed, someone who was apparently repelled by them).
So, the brief snap shot of the gory details:
I'm cooking up dinner and waiting for her to drop by after work (our usual practice over the past few months). She stops in, usual chit chat, we eat dinner (and that's the part that annoys me - she EATS MY FOOD AND THEN DUMPS ME). . . anyway, i'm clearing up after, she's sitting at the table and says, "can we talk about something" - words that always mean: "brace yourself for the big dumperoo". Anyway, she says "I don't think things are working out," and I (STUPIDLY) ask "why." She says, "its just not the kind of relationship I thought it would be. And, again (EVEN MOR STUPIDLY) I ask, "in what way?" And she says (and this is the line that will haunt my psyche for years) :
"You're funny, but not fun."
Well, what do you say to that. . . she asked to grab her things, I said I'd make it easy and take a walk. An hour later I come back home (from the freezing cold) to find all her stuff gone, my key laying in the middle of my table (no note or anything), and a pile of dirty dishes!
Love Stinks.
Long story short, I should be back on HDC more often. :)
Elvis_Christ
03-03-2006, 05:51 AM
You owe someone a cigarette for your new avator.
Originally posted by Elvis_Christ
You owe someone a cigarette for your new avator.
\
cool - huh! it lights up if you watch it for awhile. . .
(sadly i quit smoking, but now that i'm 'free' i might start again)
hammerfan
03-03-2006, 05:59 AM
Originally posted by Zero
\
cool - huh! it lights up if you watch it for awhile. . .
(sadly i quit smoking, but now that i'm 'free' i might start again)
No, no, no, no, no, no, don't do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've quit too - we can quit together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Originally posted by hammerfan
No, no, no, no, no, no, don't do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've quit too - we can quit together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK - for HF I will stay quit. . . only my avatar will smoke! (and it really does light up - just watch it for a second, its so cool) :D
Haunted
03-03-2006, 06:08 AM
Found him!
Originally posted by Zero
well. . . for a ripe bannana!!
apologies for the long silence - i've been on now and again, but not for very long - it is (honestly) very kind of you all to notice . . . it has really been the only nice thing that's happened to me this week. . . because:
I got dumped!! (taah daah!) Shocking, yes, who could resist an adorable monkey like myself . . .(well, actually I can answer that question in great detail as i know EXACTLY who could resist my charms and, indeed, someone who was apparently repelled by them).
So, the brief snap shot of the gory details:
I'm cooking up dinner and waiting for her to drop by after work (our usual practice over the past few months). She stops in, usual chit chat, we eat dinner (and that's the part that annoys me - she EATS MY FOOD AND THEN DUMPS ME). . . anyway, i'm clearing up after, she's sitting at the table and says, "can we talk about something" - words that always mean: "brace yourself for the big dumperoo". Anyway, she says "I don't think things are working out," and I (STUPIDLY) ask "why." She says, "its just not the kind of relationship I thought it would be. And, again (EVEN MOR STUPIDLY) I ask, "in what way?" And she says (and this is the line that will haunt my psyche for years) :
"You're funny, but not fun."
Well, what do you say to that. . . she asked to grab her things, I said I'd make it easy and take a walk. An hour later I come back home (from the freezing cold) to find all her stuff gone, my key laying in the middle of my table (no note or anything), and a pile of dirty dishes!
Love Stinks.
Long story short, I should be back on HDC more often. :)
You should have done what any monkey in that situation would have.......throw your feces at her.
For the record, i think your tons of fun...you can't have funny without fun..no.
LMAO - oh my god i just spit coffee onto myself. ..
hurling feces! D'OH Why didn't I think of that. . . boy I could really see the look on her smug face if I could've managed a big plop and then hurled it at her head. . .
(a brief thought of dropping by her apartment with a bucketfull of poo-nuts. . . but that's probably a serious offense.)
Thanks Newb - you made my day!
slasherman
03-03-2006, 06:43 AM
...fuck ..cant people even go to the toilet before they are missed ?....:mad:
:p
well .. . it depends on who one is . . . someone as charming and delightful as myself - obviously not. . . i suspect that each time i blink people miss the divine light emanating out of my eyes. . . but, hey, that's just me
:rolleyes:
hammerfan
03-03-2006, 07:06 AM
Originally posted by Zero
OK - for HF I will stay quit. . . only my avatar will smoke! (and it really does light up - just watch it for a second, its so cool) :D
You're a good man, Zero! We will stay quit together! I quit 2 months ago - how long has it been for you?
BTW, I think the girl's nuts for dumping you. Not that I know you all that well, but you seem like a pretty decent and fun guy.
Also, yes your avatar is cool - I watched it light up.
stubbornforgey
03-03-2006, 11:48 AM
About time you came home.!!!
'somebody lock the doors'
Em sorry to hear about what you went through zero..'cough' ..BITCH!!
How dare she...gosh..what is it with damned females these days.
Well..may a thousand fleas infest her hairy ass.
Can i pass on the banana..??I need it to make a cake for a birthday party today..but no doubt i will end up by
buying one from the bakery cos i dunno how to bake for shit.
Zero..'stubborn gets all sloppy'
Your a rather unique little monkey and
you were sorely missed.
'love you bro'
Now if i were you..i would send her the bill
for last weeks groceries.
Now can you move to new zealand and cook for me..?????
Either you or FM ..either.. eyether.
Come and sit here and i will pick out all your cooties. :D
BTW..i gave up smoking too ...for a whole week when i had the flu.
em weak!!weak i say..
slasherman
03-03-2006, 12:26 PM
Originally posted by stubbornforgey
Now can you move to new zealand and cock for me..?????
:rolleyes:
stubbornforgey
03-03-2006, 12:36 PM
hrmmm...glasses me thinks.
Yellow Jacket
03-03-2006, 03:50 PM
I'm glad to see you're back Zero, and am sorry that you got dumped (women can be bitches). Though, I'm sad to say that now we can't post missing signs and funny pictures of you doing dumb shit (and cheating on us you bastard). :p Welcome back, Zero!
BTW, your avatar's cigarrete really does light up after awhile. Pretty cool. Now, give me a smoke.
Originally posted by stubbornforgey
About time you came home.!!!
'somebody lock the doors'
Em sorry to hear about what you went through zero..'cough' ..BITCH!!
How dare she...gosh..what is it with damned females these days.
Well..may a thousand fleas infest her hairy ass.
Can i pass on the banana..??I need it to make a cake for a birthday party today..but no doubt i will end up by
buying one from the bakery cos i dunno how to bake for shit.
Zero..'stubborn gets all sloppy'
Your a rather unique little monkey and
you were sorely missed.
'love you bro'
Now if i were you..i would send her the bill
for last weeks groceries.
Now can you move to new zealand and cook for me..?????
Either you or FM ..either.. eyether.
Come and sit here and i will pick out all your cooties. :D
BTW..i gave up smoking too ...for a whole week when i had the flu.
em weak!!weak i say..
SF - i'd happily cook anything you'd like (of course, i'll need plane fair to NZ first :D )
I do absolutely love the "send her the grocery bill" idea .. . that's so tempting I just might do it.
Fortunately, (for me) we don't really have mutual friends or places we both would hang out - so I think I'm better off just keeping her as far from my mind as possible
(even if i have to do it without any cigggies)
:D
Originally posted by Yellow Jacket
I'm glad to see you're back Zero, and am sorry that you got dumped (women can be bitches). Though, I'm sad to say that now we can't post missing signs and funny pictures of you doing dumb shit (and cheating on us you bastard). :p Welcome back, Zero!
BTW, your avatar's cigarrete really does light up after awhile. Pretty cool. Now, give me a smoke.
don't worry YJ - i promise to periodically disappear - allowing everyone to make as much fun of me as they'd like. . . i pride myself on being consistently and absolutely unreliable!!
Yellow Jacket
03-03-2006, 07:36 PM
Originally posted by Zero
don't worry YJ - i promise to periodically disappear - allowing everyone to make as much fun of me as they'd like. . . i pride myself on being consistently and absolutely unreliable!!
That's good to hear! In the meantime, here's a disturbing picture I got of Zero:
http://www.animal-funny-pictures.com/images/p-35.jpg
mothermold
03-03-2006, 11:24 PM
Originally posted by Zero
"You're funny, but not fun."
:)
Zero:You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Girlfriend:Just... you know, how you tell the story, what?
Zero:No, no, I don't know, you said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. How the fuck am I funny, what the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what's funny!
Girlfriend:[long pause] ah...er
Zero:[starts hurling copious amounts of monkey dung]
:p
In all seriousness though,sorry to hear things went sour.
Welcome back
Originally posted by mothermold
Zero:You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Girlfriend:Just... you know, how you tell the story, what?
Zero:No, no, I don't know, you said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. How the fuck am I funny, what the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what's funny!
Girlfriend:[long pause] ah...er
Zero:[starts hurling copious amounts of monkey dung]
:p
In all seriousness though,sorry to hear things went sour.
Welcome back
DAMN! Another great line - why didn't I think of Goodfellas! Arrghhh - its funny how at some moments nothing comes to mind except - "fuck you". . . and I didn't even say that.
Ahh well. . . . c'est la vie! (and monkey dung!)
VampiricClown
03-04-2006, 11:59 AM
Originally posted by Zero
well. . . for a ripe bannana!!
apologies for the long silence - i've been on now and again, but not for very long - it is (honestly) very kind of you all to notice . . . it has really been the only nice thing that's happened to me this week. . . because:
I got dumped!! (taah daah!) Shocking, yes, who could resist an adorable monkey like myself . . .(well, actually I can answer that question in great detail as i know EXACTLY who could resist my charms and, indeed, someone who was apparently repelled by them).
So, the brief snap shot of the gory details:
I'm cooking up dinner and waiting for her to drop by after work (our usual practice over the past few months). She stops in, usual chit chat, we eat dinner (and that's the part that annoys me - she EATS MY FOOD AND THEN DUMPS ME). . . anyway, i'm clearing up after, she's sitting at the table and says, "can we talk about something" - words that always mean: "brace yourself for the big dumperoo". Anyway, she says "I don't think things are working out," and I (STUPIDLY) ask "why." She says, "its just not the kind of relationship I thought it would be. And, again (EVEN MOR STUPIDLY) I ask, "in what way?" And she says (and this is the line that will haunt my psyche for years) :
"You're funny, but not fun."
Well, what do you say to that. . . she asked to grab her things, I said I'd make it easy and take a walk. An hour later I come back home (from the freezing cold) to find all her stuff gone, my key laying in the middle of my table (no note or anything), and a pile of dirty dishes!
Love Stinks.
Long story short, I should be back on HDC more often. :)
Damn it boy...You are beginning to sound like me. And that next to last line is the truth. :(
stubbornforgey
03-04-2006, 01:54 PM
Em telling ya both...
get an ugly woman for a partner..
she will be loyal..cook great food...
sense of humor...'dunno about the bed stuff'..but i swear by the hair on my sister in laws chinny chin chin..they are damned great as soul mates..:D
bloodrayne
03-04-2006, 03:10 PM
I'm sorry about what happened, Zero.......It's good to joke about it, it helps to make it a little easier...Even though it still hurts like hell...
Here's something to think about...
If it didn't work out, it simply wasn't meant to be...
If it wasn't meant to be, then the girl who dumped you was just wasting your time and standing in the way of you finding the person you ARE supposed to be with...
Now you're free to find that person...
She's waiting for you, out there somewhere
Haunted
03-04-2006, 03:27 PM
Damn, Zero, I was gone two weeks on a mental health vacation, you're gone less than 36hrs and people are like, "WHERE'S ZERO??!!! Oh, God, how do we survive?! Cruel cruel world!! Bring us back our Zero!!!"
*twirls hair* You must be, like, popular or something.
;) :D
scouse mac
03-04-2006, 03:31 PM
Originally posted by Haunted
Damn, Zero, I was gone two weeks on a mental health vacation, you're gone less than 36hrs and people are like, "WHERE'S ZERO??!!! Oh, God, how do we survive?! Cruel cruel world!! Bring us back our Zero!!!"
*twirls hair* You must be, like, popular or something.
;) :D
Its worth remembering that half the people who post here are just zero's different persona's, he's just popular with himself! ;) :)
i hired a PR firm to promote my brand-label . . . they help to create a buzz among the kids.
BR - thanks, you are right and I try to console myself with that as i cry myself to sleep. . . just kidding.
Actually, I've been a bit puzzled - last time I was suddenly not in a relationship (i.e., dumped) I 'hooked up' almost immediately . . . but this time its been over a week and I keep mentioning to people (i.e., girls) that I'm suddenly single and the reaction has been an overwhelming "oh"
maybe I'll look for Stubborn's hairy in-laws!
p.s. Haunted - I missed you terribly!!