Dear IA

[ItsAlive75]

On Zero's request, I've made an advice column. Problems with love? Sex? Money? Money for sex?
Ask "Dear IA" and I'll come up with some bullshit answer.

...why does this remind me of that whole trend Murderdoll started? (We all know how that turned out)

[The STE]

Dear Eye-Ah,

If one is jet-skiing, and one of the wheels fall off, does it take the same number of pancakes to cover a dog house?

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by The STE
Dear Eye-Ah,

If one is jet-skiing, and one of the wheels fall off, does it take the same number of pancakes to cover a dog house?

Not my field of expertise. If I had to guess, I'd say pumpkin.

[The STE]

Dear Eee-uh,
How do I get more people to vote in my new Movie Villains Tournament?

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by The STE
Dear Eee-uh,
How do I get more people to vote in my new Movie Villains Tournament?

I bumped it with my vote.

...VOTE FOR THE MOVIE VILLAINS TOURNAMENT RIGHT NOW.

[Yellow Jacket]

Originally posted by The STE
Dear Eee-uh,
How do I get more people to vote in my new Movie Villains Tournament?

I may not be Mr. Eee-uh, but I know the answer. You give everybody free punch and pie. If that doesn't work, you smack them! :p

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Yellow Jacket
I may not be Mr. Eee-uh, but I know the answer. You give everybody free punch and pie. If that doesn't work, you smack them! :p

Who's advice column?

Oh THAT'S right...

[Elvis_Christ]

Dear I.A

My girlfriend says I'm living in the past because of the sideburns on my scrotum. I've said to her that classic cuts never go out of style but she doesn't agree and won't compromise. Should I kick her to the curb or bite the bullet and try a more modern pubic hair style?

Disco Sack

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Elvis_Christ
Dear I.A

My girlfriend says I'm living in the past because of the sideburns on my scrotum. I've said to her that classic cuts never go out of style but she doesn't agree and won't compromise. Should I kick her to the curb or bite the bullet and try a more modern pubic hair style?

Disco Sack

Here's a great question.

Hairstyles are one of those physical traits that does change with trends. However, many in my profession go by the "equator rule". That is where anything about your waist line is subject to trends (i.e. haircuts, shirts, make-up, jewelry). Oppositely, anything below the "equator" is free to whatever style and shape the owner desires.

This being said, you should politely explain to your girlfriend that your pubic hair is your business and she should rightly shut her fucking mouth.

[Spallalala]

Dear I.A,

I have had this problem for sometime now and really need to get it under control. I fart too much. So uh..Can you help me ?

[Zero]

Dear IA:

I stupidly made a flippant comment to a 'friend' that he (or she) should start an advice thread on a message board. . . well, sadly, he (or it) did so and now its a silly embarassing disaster. . . what should I do?

Signed,
Embarassed for him on HDC



:D

[VampiricClown]

Dear IA,

I am starting to feel that my welcome on HDC has been worn out. What should I do?

-_-VampiricClown-_-

[alkytrio666]

Dear I.A.

I've been reading your column ever since it came out. I'm a huge fan!

But anyway, here's my question:

Should I fake my orgasms?

Thanks!

-Kev

[Taom]

Dear IA;


I know a person who we shall not mention by name, but his welcome has been worn out. How do I tell him this without hurting his feelings?

[mothermold]

dear I.A.,

my girlfriend is upset with me because i insist on listening to "the battle hymn of the republic" during lovemaking....she claims it's distracting,i tell her it inspires me....what to do? please help sort this mess out I.A.



-momo

[Taom]

Dear IA;

VampiricClown won't stop whining cause I told him his welcome was worn out. How do I get him to stop?

[wood_elf_pansy]

Dear IA,
(this is an actual question sent in to an advice column I just found)My boyfriend wants to have sex with me, I'm a virgin and I'm 13, I really don't know and I'm not really comfortable with my body.Where would be the best place to have sex, and do you think I should shave my pussy or no?
-Young and Confused

[VampiricClown]

Dear IA,

Someone isn't answering their column. How should I let them know that they should?

-_-Broken Disaster-_-

[VampiricClown]

Originally posted by Taom
Dear IA;

VampiricClown won't stop whining cause I told him his welcome was worn out. How do I get him to stop?

Whining? Hmmmm.....

[stubbornforgey]

Vampric Clown reminds me so much of
one of my freinds 'silk'
You just want to wrap a cottonball around him and keep him safe..

[VampiricClown]

Originally posted by stubbornforgey
Vampric Clown reminds me so much of
one of my freinds 'silk'
You just want to wrap a cottonball around him and keep him safe..

Is that a good thing or bad?:confused:

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Spallalala
Dear I.A,

I have had this problem for sometime now and really need to get it under control. I fart too much. So uh..Can you help me ?

Yes, yes I can. This is not a mental problem, this is your body telling you something's wrong. I suggest you start listening to your body; start jogging more, eat less pasta and red meat, and start using enemas.... lots of em'.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Zero
Dear IA:

I stupidly made a flippant comment to a 'friend' that he (or she) should start an advice thread on a message board. . . well, sadly, he (or it) did so and now its a silly embarassing disaster. . . what should I do?

Signed,
Embarassed for him on HDC

:D

Hmm... kill yourself?

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by VampiricClown
Dear IA,

I am starting to feel that my welcome on HDC has been worn out. What should I do?

-_-VampiricClown-_-

You can go somewhere else, or you could write a letter to someone you love sharing your distaste. Again, not my area of expertise.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by alkytrio666
Dear I.A.

I've been reading your column ever since it came out. I'm a huge fan!

But anyway, here's my question:

Should I fake my orgasms?

Thanks!

-Kev

Faking orgasms is hard for men to do. The semen's a dead giveaway. Maybe you could say you're pulling out then put your penis out of view, and let your facial expression give the IMPRESSION you ejaculated on the floor, or a coat... or a chair.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Taom
Dear IA;


I know a person who we shall not mention by name, but his welcome has been worn out. How do I tell him this without hurting his feelings?

Seems as though you already did. I suggest you and this person have a clsoe one on one... and start kissing each other, hardcore.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by mothermold
dear I.A.,

my girlfriend is upset with me because i insist on listening to "the battle hymn of the republic" during lovemaking....she claims it's distracting,i tell her it inspires me....what to do? please help sort this mess out I.A.



-momo

You should explain to her that this music is for both of you. Without it, the passionate love-making you two experience is all but lost... a slow-paced, boring experience where everyone ends up crying. She'll understand.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by wood_elf_pansy
Dear IA,
(this is an actual question sent in to an advice column I just found)My boyfriend wants to have sex with me, I'm a virgin and I'm 13, I really don't know and I'm not really comfortable with my body.Where would be the best place to have sex, and do you think I should shave my pussy or no?
-Young and Confused

As an answer to your first question, you should only have sex when you're absolutely ready. And you're only ready when your significant other TELLS you that you are. If your boyfriend says its time to go, it's time to GO.

In answer to question two, you're 12. How hairy can your *edit* be?

Oh, and have sex in a bed.... usually a good choice.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by VampiricClown
Dear IA,

Someone isn't answering their column. How should I let them know that they should?

-_-Broken Disaster-_-

I apologize for my lack of replies, I've been busy. But I WILL answer them all all in a row right now.

[VampiricClown]

Dear IA,

I have reached my 1,000 post goal. Should I leave HDC now?

-_-VampiricClown-_-

[Zero]

Originally posted by VampiricClown
Dear IA,

I have reached my 1,000 post goal. Should I leave HDC now?

-_-VampiricClown-_-

the sacred number is 1111 - but that's already been used. . . i'd wait for 3333!

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by VampiricClown
Dear IA,

I have reached my 1,000 post goal. Should I leave HDC now?

-_-VampiricClown-_-

No, you should start a thread celebrating that 1,000th post much like I did when I hit that young milestone.

[Yellow Jacket]

Dear IA,

I've had an erection for more than three hours. What should I do? :p

[Yellow Jacket]

Originally posted by VampiricClown
Dear IA,

I have reached my 1,000 post goal. Should I leave HDC now?

-_-VampiricClown-_-

Don't you do it damnit!!! You're too cool to just walk out on us like that!

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Yellow Jacket
Dear IA,

I've had an erection for more than three hours. What should I do? :p

Jerk the fuck off already.

[wood_elf_pansy]

Dear IA,
I want a cigarette, my sister has them, she is about 40 minutes away, I don't have a vehicle here, and I'm watching two babies under the age of 9 months, what should I do?
Feenin in Misoury

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by wood_elf_pansy
Dear IA,
I want a cigarette, my sister has them, she is about 40 minutes away, I don't have a vehicle here, and I'm watching two babies under the age of 9 months, what should I do?
Feenin in Misoury

This is an interesting dilemma. Cigarettes are obvious addictions. Its been proven over time that one thing that cures an addiction is another addiction. My advice to you is to try drinking heavily, if there's alcohol in the house. If not try the old fashioned approach and sniff a permanent marker.

[Yellow Jacket]

Originally posted by ItsAlive75
Jerk the fuck off already.

LMFAO!!!

Dear IA, (serious question)

My dog isn't the bravest dog (he's a pussy). How do I make him a little bit more brave?

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Yellow Jacket
Dear IA, (serious question)

My dog isn't the bravest dog (he's a pussy). How do I make him a little bit more brave?

Bravery is a character trait, and sad to say, maybe your dog just isn't brave. Many dog owners have "toughened" their dogs up by showing them a lack of love, reducing their feeding and using physical abuse.

My suggestion to you would be to accept that your dog is a wimp, it sure as hell beats the alternative.

[Yellow Jacket]

Originally posted by ItsAlive75
Bravery is a character trait, and sad to say, maybe your dog just isn't brave. Many dog owners have "toughened" their dogs up by showing them a lack of love, reducing their feeding and using physical abuse.

My suggestion to you would be to accept that your dog is a wimp, it sure as hell beats the alternative.

Hell yeah it does! I love my dog! It's just that he's afraid of paper bags, trash cans, bowls (including his own bowl), etc. But, I'll still love him! Thanks for the advice!

[The Flayed One]

Dear IA,

I'm a huge Oakland Raiders fan. I've recently grown a beard, and some jerk keeps telling me I look like Jake Plummer. I'd kill him, but he's by bartender. What should I do?

-Anger Rising

[filmmaker2]

I read somewhere that most dogs eat poop at some point. There's a lot of dogs in the world, millions and millions! Isn't that too many, if most or all of them eat poop? Can anything be done about this????

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by The Flayed One
Dear IA,

I'm a huge Oakland Raiders fan. I've recently grown a beard, and some jerk keeps telling me I look like Jake Plummer. I'd kill him, but he's by bartender. What should I do?

-Anger Rising

Try telling him that you're going for more of a "Bob Brown" look, the Raiders Hall of Fame OT from 71'. Granted, Brown didn't have a beard. But the bartender probably won't know who you're talking about anyway, so you can play it off.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by filmmaker2
I read somewhere that most dogs eat poop at some point. There's a lot of dogs in the world, millions and millions! Isn't that too many, if most or all of them eat poop? Can anything be done about this????

Millions of dogs poop more than once a day (on average), so there's plenty of poop to go around for other dogs. If you're question is "what do we do to stop them", my answer would be nothing. Its obviously a gross genetic makeup found in all dogs, and it would take too long to change. Just be happy most dogs are cute.

[wood_elf_pansy]

Dear IA,
I was told by someone to stop my addiction to cigarettes and start drinking, heavily. I have a problem with this though. I don't have any alcohol. I am still stuck here with two babies and have no vehicle, what should I do?
High and Dry(lol you don't know how true that is)

[alkytrio666]

Dear I.A.-

My "friends" are trying to convince me that a banana would be a faithful sex companion. Is this true?

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by wood_elf_pansy
Dear IA,
I was told by someone to stop my addiction to cigarettes and start drinking, heavily. I have a problem with this though. I don't have any alcohol. I am still stuck here with two babies and have no vehicle, what should I do?
High and Dry(lol you don't know how true that is)

Hmm, a follow up.

Well, there is always self-restraint... but this is America.... Alright, idle hands are the Devil's something-or-other, so I would suggest occupying yourself with something. Start writing a short story, or make a costume for one of your babies so the other gets jealous.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by alkytrio666
Dear I.A.-

My "friends" are trying to convince me that a banana would be a faithful sex companion. Is this true?

Only til' it rots.

[alkytrio666]

Dear I.A.

The banana has rotted. What do I do now?

-Confused Fruit Abuser

[stubbornforgey]

take it from a females perspective ..
'soz IA'..
carrot...you can never go wrong..
but i have a ques for you ..
what are you doing trying to sex it with a
banana??You don't have the facility to accomodate..
and leave the poor fruit alone ..LOL.

Dear IA..
em too perfect..
my teeth are perfect
my hair is perfect..
my complexion and manner is perfect..
Just downright 'PREFECT'
But...i have one little flaw..
my feet are crooked.
How can i get perfect feet .??

[bloodrayne]

Dear IA:


I want it ALL the time but have recently been informed that 'humans need sleep'....If I were to seek pleasure elsewhere (other than human, of course) would that be cheating?....And...Where can I find an 'immortal' (they aren't human, right?) in case it ISN'T cheating?




Faithful But Needin' It



:D

[newb]

Dear IA75

How do i explain to my wife & kids that i'm on a bus to Kentucky on a "business trip", while they are sitting at home waiting for their supper.


The Immortal newb

[Zero]

Originally posted by bloodrayne
Dear IA:
I want it ALL the time but have recently been informed that 'humans need sleep'....If I were to seek pleasure elsewhere (other than human, of course) would that be cheating?....And...Where can I find an 'immortal' (they aren't human, right?) in case it ISN'T cheating?
Faithful But Needin' It
:D


Dear IA:

I'm an Immortal with a perpetual hard-on and insomnia - - what can I do to, uhm, 'fill' the time?

Perpetually Pointy

[bloodrayne]

LOL...I can't really laugh too loudly at the moment because the baby is sleeping beside me....BUT...You guys DID make me giggle pretty loud....hahaha:)



I already KNEW that Newb was incredibly witty and clever....However, it looks like Zero may end up being a fairly decent adversary;)...*is impressed*

[Spallalala]

Originally posted by stubbornforgey
Dear IA..
em too perfect..
my teeth are perfect
my hair is perfect..
my complexion and manner is perfect..
Just downright 'PREFECT'
But...i have one little flaw..
my feet are crooked.
How can i get perfect feet .??

hahahahahha.. You bitch. :p

[stubbornforgey]

LOL..Lala
i used to think my black heads were maori freckles..

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by alkytrio666
Dear I.A.

The banana has rotted. What do I do now?

-Confused Fruit Abuser

Smoke a cigarette.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by stubbornforgey

Dear IA..
em too perfect..
my teeth are perfect
my hair is perfect..
my complexion and manner is perfect..
Just downright 'PREFECT'
But...i have one little flaw..
my feet are crooked.
How can i get perfect feet .??

Chop your feet off. That way you're nothing but perfect features.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by bloodrayne
Dear IA:


I want it ALL the time but have recently been informed that 'humans need sleep'....If I were to seek pleasure elsewhere (other than human, of course) would that be cheating?....And...Where can I find an 'immortal' (they aren't human, right?) in case it ISN'T cheating?

Faithful But Needin' It

:D

Sleeping with dieties is in fact, not cheating. We all know that the Greek Gods raped women in the form of animals and people wrote about it with praise.

My suggestion... Go to Greece and make yourself available.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by newb
Dear IA75

How do i explain to my wife & kids that i'm on a bus to Kentucky on a "business trip", while they are sitting at home waiting for their supper.


The Immortal newb

Tell them a story about a man who once saved your life while copiously weeping. The next day pretend you just got a phone call from someone saying that same man died. They won't fault you for leaving to go to his "funeral".

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Zero
Dear IA:

I'm an Immortal with a perpetual hard-on and insomnia - - what can I do to, uhm, 'fill' the time?

Perpetually Pointy

You being an immortal and bored, my suggestion would be to go on a killing spree.

[stubbornforgey]

Dear IA..
i chopped my feet off like you suggested..
and i must say..they look perfect now..
however , my next problem being..
I can't get my shoes to fit my stumps..not to mention the..colour does not go with anything i wear.

[Spallalala]

Originally posted by stubbornforgey
Dear IA..
i chopped my feet off like you suggested..
and i must say..they look perfect now..
however , my next problem being..
I can't get my shoes to fit my stumps..not to mention the..colour does not go with anything i wear.

What...blood red dont go with anything?? hahah


Dear IA...,

I have a music addiction. Everywhere I got I gotta listen to music, even when I piss. How do I slow the music factor down and not drive myself insane?

[stubbornforgey]

Originally posted by Spallalala
What...blood red dont go with anything?? hahah


Dear IA...,

I have a music addiction. Everywhere I got I gotta listen to music, even when I piss. How do I slow the music factor down and not drive myself insane?


oooh..
i wear my discman when em driving..
when em in the toilet
when em cooking
when em in bed
and have been told em unsociable for doing so..
so em dying to read IA's reply on this..

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by stubbornforgey
Dear IA..
i chopped my feet off like you suggested..
and i must say..they look perfect now..
however , my next problem being..
I can't get my shoes to fit my stumps..not to mention the..colour does not go with anything i wear.

There are many options. Washcloths and small drapes can be wrapped around your stumps to make them flashier, snappier.

I guarantee you'll be the sexiest cripple the city appointed assistants have ever seen.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Spallalala
Dear IA...,

I have a music addiction. Everywhere I got I gotta listen to music, even when I piss. How do I slow the music factor down and not drive myself insane?

I suggest making a chart, designating certain parts of the day where you can listen to music. Have friends and loved ones monitor you closely to make sure you follow the chart. Start slow, giving yourself the majority of the day to listen to music. As the days go by take out more and more hours until you have around 1 to 2 hours a day for enjoying music.

This way you'll be dull and boring, just like everyone else.

[Taom]

Dear IA;

(For once this is a serious one)

I think my dog is pregnant..........I'm not sure which of the two previously unseen dogs may be the father. This could get ugly (talkin bout the possible puppies) The vet says it may be hormones, or she may be preggo. What should I do?

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Taom
Dear IA;

(For once this is a serious one)

I think my dog is pregnant..........I'm not sure which of the two previously unseen dogs may be the father. This could get ugly (talkin bout the possible puppies) The vet says it may be hormones, or she may be preggo. What should I do?

My advice is to wait and see, but go ahead and plan for puppies. If she's not pregnant, you can be frustrated for making precautions for nothing. If she is, you'll be happy that you did.

Arrange your house or apartment so that it's "potty and chewing safe". Isolate a room (preferably hard-wood with newspaper covering) for the puppies to be in, one without valuables.

If you don't want the puppies, put up fliers in advance. Call friends and family and ask if they would want a puppy given the chance coming up. Better safe than sorry.

[Taom]

Yeah, I've raises puppies before. was just wondering what sorta advice you'd give, and if it'd be serious or not.

[Yellow Jacket]

Dear IA,

I got my dick stuck in a pencil sharpener. What should I do? (this is not a serious question).

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Yellow Jacket
Dear IA,

I got my dick stuck in a pencil sharpener. What should I do? (this is not a serious question).

Test out your penmanship.

[Yellow Jacket]

Originally posted by ItsAlive75
Test out your penmanship.

LMFAO!!!

[newb]

Allright....i know this thread started out as a joke...but IA75 knows his shit....you da man dude.This is so much better than "Dear Abbey"

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by newb
Allright....i know this thread started out as a joke...but IA75 knows his shit....you da man dude.This is so much better than "Dear Abbey"

Yeah, I got way better tits.

[zomb5150]

My penis curves slightly to the right, can this be corrected?

[newb]

I received this in an e-mail....thought it would fit this thread.




http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v259/rockinmule/ATT00065.jpg

[stubbornforgey]

Originally posted by newb
I received this in an e-mail....thought it would fit this thread.




http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v259/rockinmule/ATT00065.jpg



hahahahahahahaha!!now thats funny

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by zomb5150
My penis curves slightly to the right, can this be corrected?

Stop having sex with girls who have vaginas that are slightly to the right.

...or start having sex with girls who have vaginas that are slightly to the left.

[stubbornforgey]

dear IA..
a few days ago ..some fool recommened
i cut off my croooked feet..now my knees are crooked from all the crawling..
my question is ...how the hell do i get even with that fool ??

[The Flayed One]

Dear IA,

Well, I just ate some fine beef jerky. What kind of lager should I wash it down with?

Yours,
-Thirsty

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by stubbornforgey
dear IA..
a few days ago ..some fool recommened
i cut off my croooked feet..now my knees are crooked from all the crawling..
my question is ...how the hell do i get even with that fool ??

Send him so much money that he doesn't know how to spend it.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by The Flayed One
Dear IA,

Well, I just ate some fine beef jerky. What kind of lager should I wash it down with?

Yours,
-Thirsty

Although I consider myself an expert at getting drunk, a fine lager is not my area of expertise. I recommend pm'ing either Newb or Elvis Christ for a more than acceptable answer.

[scaryminda15]

Dear IA:

you know me but anyway. i would like to know if the chicken crosses the road and gets hit by a semi truck and then gets back up is it a miracle or a smart bird?

unamonious,
minda lol jk.

[stubbornforgey]

newb..can you send me that column
via e mail plzzzz..LOL
[email protected]

[newb]

Originally posted by stubbornforgey
newb..can you send me that column
via e mail plzzzz..LOL
[email protected]

Done......let me know if you don't get the attachment.

[stubbornforgey]

thankies :D

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by scaryminda15
Dear IA:

you know me but anyway. i would like to know if the chicken crosses the road and gets hit by a semi truck and then gets back up is it a miracle or a smart bird?

unamonious,
minda lol jk.

Well it can't be a smart bird if it was struck by a truck, so that only leaves "miracle".

[stubbornforgey]

dear IA..
you don't know me at all...
em just new to this thread..
but i have this freind..
'umm lets just call her ..fuggeonstorby..ok..
Anyways my freind fuggeonstorby is going
on a trip around her neighbourhood..
with a group of taggers to make them clean up the properties they had damaged
thru thier graffiti.
Now so as not to make my freind sound vain..
what would be the recommened attire for sucn an occasion.
My freind fuggeonstorby caught one of the taggers last night..chased him down the road and threw a can of paint at him..however ..the wind blew some of the paint back into her hair..
a lime greenish ..
Should she keep the colour or cut her hair..
thank you for your help.
BTW ..love the thread

signed annon

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by stubbornforgey
dear IA..
you don't know me at all...
em just new to this thread..
but i have this freind..
'umm lets just call her ..fuggeonstorby..ok..
Anyways my freind fuggeonstorby is going
on a trip around her neighbourhood..
with a group of taggers to make them clean up the properties they had damaged
thru thier graffiti.
Now so as not to make my freind sound vain..
what would be the recommened attire for sucn an occasion.
My freind fuggeonstorby caught one of the taggers last night..chased him down the road and threw a can of paint at him..however ..the wind blew some of the paint back into her hair..
a lime greenish ..
Should she keep the colour or cut her hair..
thank you for your help.
BTW ..love the thread

signed annon

I suggest wearing a hooded sweatshirt. You don't want to mess with your hair to that extent, the chances of you doing something drastic are high. Schedule an appointment with a professional hair stylist, and in the meantime pull your hair down underneath the hoodie.

Thanks for the kudos on the thread. Much obliged.

[stubbornforgey]

not me ..em new..
its my freind fuggeonstorby :D

[zomb5150]

Dear IA,
Does masturbation increase a mans risk of prostate cancer?

[filmmaker2]

Dear IA,

I would like two soft carne asada tacos with fresh diced tomatoes! Everything fresh, you know, so it has that snappy, lively quality...cool crisp lettuce, not wilted. I really want you to cook 'em! Will you?? I would love that so much!

f

[stubbornforgey]

Originally posted by filmmaker2
Dear IA,

I would like two soft carne asada tacos with fresh diced tomatoes! Everything fresh, you know, so it has that snappy, lively quality...cool crisp lettuce, not wilted. I really want you to cook 'em! Will you?? I would love that so much!

f


Don't you really want 4 (2 each)
and didn't you really want to send em over to your buddy ..pal..matey. in newzealand .?:D :D :D :D

[filmmaker2]

Oh yeah.......yeah..............I meant 4........FOUR tacos, and could you put two of them in a dry ice package and ship it to New Zealand for me....dry ice would keep it fresh..........yes..............stubborn wants two tacos also, the other two are for her........I would cook them myself, you see, but I thought, if YOU cooked them, then I wouldn't have to get up, and I could watch TV uninterrupted. I think that would be just GREAT! Oh God, I can't wait.

[Yellow Jacket]

Dear IA,

There is a rumor going around that Mountain Dew lowers your sperm count. Is this true?

[Zero]

Dear IA,

I am a member of an internet forum group that seems to have lost its energy and appeal. There is no more bashing of noobs, many of the more interesting people have left or just faded away, and there is an endless array of 'tournaments' to fill the space where we used to talk, argue, and get on each other's nerves.

There was a period when I couldn't go an hour without wanting to check in and see what was going on - now I can forget for days at a time. What should I/the forum do?

"Lost that Loving Feeling on HDC"

[lovecraft]

Dear IA,

Why do you park in a driveway and
drive on a parkway?

[filmmaker2]

I only liked two of the tournaments and no one does them now:
the Animaliment, and the Foodament. Those were great because they were weiord and had nothing to do with Horror and that's why I thought they were so cute

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by zomb5150
Dear IA,
Does masturbation increase a mans risk of prostate cancer?

Couldn't hurt it.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by filmmaker2
Dear IA,

I would like two soft carne asada tacos with fresh diced tomatoes! Everything fresh, you know, so it has that snappy, lively quality...cool crisp lettuce, not wilted. I really want you to cook 'em! Will you?? I would love that so much!

f

I don't cook, I order out.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Yellow Jacket
Dear IA,

There is a rumor going around that Mountain Dew lowers your sperm count. Is this true?

It's probably the only reason I drink the stuff.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Zero
Dear IA,

I am a member of an internet forum group that seems to have lost its energy and appeal. There is no more bashing of noobs, many of the more interesting people have left or just faded away, and there is an endless array of 'tournaments' to fill the space where we used to talk, argue, and get on each other's nerves.

There was a period when I couldn't go an hour without wanting to check in and see what was going on - now I can forget for days at a time. What should I/the forum do?

"Lost that Loving Feeling on HDC"

Good question. Sometimes its up to one man or woman to take matters into his or her own hands. My suggestion to you would be to start thinking of interesting ideas for threads... really get people reading. After three or four of those, the less confident posters will start making threads too. And start complimenting people... for anything. The closer-knit the group, the more unity and comfort there'll be.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by lovecraft
Dear IA,

Why do you park in a driveway and
drive on a parkway?

Ask the head of your local district. If he or she aint got the answers, no one does.

[Elvis_Christ]

Your gonna turn into Oprah dude :)

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Elvis_Christ
Your gonna turn into Oprah dude :)

Not likely. I actually care about what people think.

[Elvis_Christ]

Originally posted by ItsAlive75
Not likely. I actually care about what people think.

Like the Lite Beer thing? :D

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Elvis_Christ
Like the Lite Beer thing? :D

You bet your ass, you and Newb turned me into a drunk.

[Elvis_Christ]

Originally posted by ItsAlive75
You bet your ass, you and Newb turned me into a drunk.

You owe us a lot for that dude!

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Elvis_Christ
You owe us a lot for that dude!

I owe you my life for that.

[newb]

Originally posted by ItsAlive75
You bet your ass, you and Newb turned me into a drunk.

Looks like my job is done here.:D

[newb]

Originally posted by Zero
Dear IA,

I am a member of an internet forum group that seems to have lost its energy and appeal. There is no more bashing of noobs, many of the more interesting people have left or just faded away, and there is an endless array of 'tournaments' to fill the space where we used to talk, argue, and get on each other's nerves.

There was a period when I couldn't go an hour without wanting to check in and see what was going on - now I can forget for days at a time. What should I/the forum do?

"Lost that Loving Feeling on HDC"

It does get like this from time to time. Once again AI75 has answered this perfectly.....make some good threads.....or my suggestion would be to post some erotic pics of the monkey.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by newb
Looks like my job is done here.:D

What? Whuddid you sayyy to me? I outta kick yur assz you pees uh no no no yer a good guy, yer good guy. Lmee buy yoo a drink...

[stubbornforgey]

Dear IA..
I recently responded to a reply that got me pretty angry..but my reaction is ...if its a scrap your looking for ..then my gloves are on buddy.
What colour gloves do you think i should get.. ??

[filmmaker2]

special guest response by FILMMAKER2

Blood RED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well not really.

[Haunted]

Dear IA,
Why do I have migraines? Is it from lack of sex, or lack of... of... of... well a life, frankly?

[Elvis_Christ]

Dear IA,

Should I get drunk tonight or wait till the weekend?

[stubbornforgey]

Originally posted by Elvis_Christ
Dear IA,

Should I get drunk tonight or wait till the weekend?

Your a pisshead..LOL..
Em supposed to get on the bash with some freinds on the weekend..
I made out I was some kind of boozer etc..now i gotta prove myself..so shandy ..wooohooo ..you n me got a date.

[Despare]

Dear IA,

I want advice on something, but not from you. I find your advice too sensible. Any suggestions?

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Haunted
Dear IA,
Why do I have migraines? Is it from lack of sex, or lack of... of... of... well a life, frankly?

Usually a recurring headache or migraine is from stress. Whether that's internally or from your social life, it's my opinion you should just chill out and lay around for 2 or 3 straight days. Don't do anything at all, don't talk to anyone. See how you feel after that.

Lack of sex doesn't create headaches, it relieves them.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by stubbornforgey
Dear IA..
I recently responded to a reply that got me pretty angry..but my reaction is ...if its a scrap your looking for ..then my gloves are on buddy.
What colour gloves do you think i should get.. ??

Red, it'll cover the blood.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Elvis_Christ
Dear IA,

Should I get drunk tonight or wait till the weekend?

Depends on what's happening that night. If there's a party on Wednesday, I suggest going to it intoxicated.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Despare
Dear IA,

I want advice on something, but not from you. I find your advice too sensible. Any suggestions?

You could always walk into your garage, pull a hammer from the drawer, and bash yourself on top of your head with it. That outta dumb yourself down enough to read the kind of advice most columns have to offer.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by trippin_the_rif
Fucking TIM CONWAY has better advice! Jesus, I hope this is just a comedic thread, cuz its hilarious.

Hey, do I come into where you work and heckle you? No, I let you dance at your gay strip club in peace.

[Despare]

Originally posted by ItsAlive75
You could always walk into your garage, pull a hammer from the drawer, and bash yourself on top of your head with it. That outta dumb yourself down enough to read the kind of advice most columns have to offer.

tHat HurTed, BUT I tHINK i t workD"

tHnxz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Elvis_Christ]

Originally posted by ItsAlive75
Hey, do I come into where you work and heckle you? No, I let you dance at your gay strip club in peace.

:D

[Despare]

Originally posted by trippin_the_rif
And for the record, Gays are people too.

Yeah... gay people.

[Haunted]

Originally posted by ItsAlive75

Lack of sex doesn't create headaches, it relieves them.

That's probably the most truthful thing I've read so far. So masturbation? Does that help? I have read that orgasms open up the blood cells in your brain allowing for endorphines and oxygen to flow freely.

(Is it endorphines or epinepherine? Can't remember)

[stubbornforgey]

Originally posted by Despare
Dear IA,

I want advice on something, but not from you. I find your advice too sensible. Any suggestions?

If your a female...cook your man a nice meal..(lol newb)
If your male...learn how to cook yourself you lazy bastard.. :D

[Soloman Kane]

Originally posted by Haunted
That's probably the most truthful thing I've read so far. So masturbation? Does that help? I have read that orgasms open up the blood cells in your brain allowing for endorphines and oxygen to flow freely.

(Is it endorphines or epinepherine? Can't remember)
Its endorphines. :D I've had practical experiance.. :cool: Its one of the reasons I wear glasses ;)

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by trippin_the_rif
And for the record, Gays are people too.

You've touched my heart...

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Haunted
That's probably the most truthful thing I've read so far. So masturbation? Does that help? I have read that orgasms open up the blood cells in your brain allowing for endorphines and oxygen to flow freely.

(Is it endorphines or epinepherine? Can't remember)

I suggest watching the Seinfeld episode in which Elaine and George both stop having sex. In George's case, he becomes smarter. The opposite effect happens to Elaine, and she begins to progressively become dumber and dumber.

Seinfeld can teach us all something.

[Haunted]

So, for women, we need sex to maintain our intellect?

Are you sure? I've always thought it was the other way around.

But anyway... will go and listen to "She-bop," "Dancing with Myself," and "I Touch Myself."

[Yellow Jacket]

Dear IA,

Why don't people a post that much? What I mean is when they come on and just sit in one spot in teh site for about 10-15 fifteen minutes doing tnothing than either going to a different forum or just leave. Why is this?

[stubbornforgey]

Originally posted by Yellow Jacket
Dear IA,

Why don't people a post that much? What I mean is when they come on and just sit in one spot in teh site for about 10-15 fifteen minutes doing tnothing than either going to a different forum or just leave. Why is this?

Because some members open threads with ..'whose your favourite whatever' and their names aint mentioned so they are made to feel like total losers.

Soz IA...carry on ..your the expert. :D

[alkytrio666]

Dear IA:

Why is Sin City nominated for absolutely NOTHING at the Oscars tonight?

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Yellow Jacket
Dear IA,

Why don't people a post that much? What I mean is when they come on and just sit in one spot in teh site for about 10-15 fifteen minutes doing tnothing than either going to a different forum or just leave. Why is this?

Usually its because members are reading posts from threads that have been around for awhile, or are reading new threads they haven't seen yet.

Another answer would be that there's less and less actual conversations going on here; there's less unity because members seem more interested in hearing votes and lists than talking to people.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by alkytrio666
Dear IA:

Why is Sin City nominated for absolutely NOTHING at the Oscars tonight?

Possibly due to the high level of cartoonish bloodshed and sexism within the film. Unless its "war movie" blood, its gonna be tough.

Or because they're big idiots.

[Yellow Jacket]

Originally posted by stubbornforgey
Because some members open threads with ..'whose your favourite whatever' and their names aint mentioned so they are made to feel like total losers.

Soz IA...carry on ..your the expert. :D

Hey, look at my list! The only reason I forgot you (and a few others) is because I wasn't thinking straight last nite. Though, I'm medically cleared to think to the best of my ability. Sorry for the incovinience! :(

[stubbornforgey]

Originally posted by Yellow Jacket
Hey, look at my list! The only reason I forgot you (and a few others) is because I wasn't thinking straight last nite. Though, I'm medically cleared to think to the best of my ability. Sorry for the incovinience! :(

LOL...em only jokin ya nut..
I forgot the smiley ppl that goes at the end .
You know i wubs ooh' :D

[AUSTIN316426808]

Dear Iowa Aficionado:


At this point there's about 30 hours left on the clock. Do you think the owners and NFLPA will come to an agreement or will the Redskins be the 2008 Super Bowl champions?

[Dante'sInferno]

Dear IA



Can u ever get to much sex?













:D

[bloodrayne]

Originally posted by Dante'sInferno
Dear IA

Can u ever get to much sex?

:D Hmm...Is there such a thing as too much sex?..I mean, I fully comprehend 'not ENOUGH sex'...but...Too much?...I dunno

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by AUSTIN316426808
Dear Iowa Aficionado:


At this point there's about 30 hours left on the clock. Do you think the owners and NFLPA will come to an agreement or will the Redskins be the 2008 Super Bowl champions?

According to NFL.com

"There would be no cap next year, but also many changes in the rules, including some the players find unappealing -- six years for a player to get to free agency instead of four and no minimum amount that teams have to spend."

I think it's about time the players squirmed a little. It doesn't look likely that any negotiations will happen any time soon, the big problems are revenue percentage and revenue sharing. Obviously players want it higher, nothing under 60%. At the same time, the smaller teams don't want to have to pay higher amounts of money.

So all I can say is, let's wait and see, hopefully football doesn't decide to be a group of idiots.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Dante'sInferno
Dear IA



Can u ever get to much sex?

:D

Are you offering?

[Dante'sInferno]

Originally posted by ItsAlive75
Are you offering? No..

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Dante'sInferno
No..

Look, I get it. I'm like, this super popular, incredibly intelligent know-it-all advice columnist... I'm pretty much a celebrity. It's NATURAL that you'd want to throw yourself at me.

But it wouldn't be right... I'm sorry, I'm sure you'll find someone though.

[Dante'sInferno]

:D

[AUSTIN316426808]

nevermind.

[BudMan]

Dear IA75

I seem to have a split personality....sometimes i just don't know who i am.....help me please....its driving me crazy.




Thank you.

newb......er...i mean BudMan.

[bloodrayne]

Originally posted by BudMan
Dear IA75

I seem to have a split personality....sometimes i just don't know who i am.....help me please....its driving me crazy.




Thank you.

newb......er...i mean BudMan. I don't really see a problem with that...Being a cheapskate, I love 2 for 1 deals, myself :)


Dear IA,

I have been recently informed that I am a nymphomaniac....What I want to know is...Is there a cure?...and...Would more sex help in any way?:D

I would also like to know.....If I am indeed a nymphomaniac, is this REALLY a problem?

Signed,
Never Enough

[BudMan]

Originally posted by bloodrayne
I don't really see a problem with that...Being a cheapskate, I love 2 for 1 deals, myself :)


Dear IA,

I have been recently informed that I am a nymphomaniac....What I want to know is...Is there a cure?...and...Would more sex help in any way?:D

I would also like to know.....If I am indeed a nymphomaniac, is this REALLY a problem?

Signed,
Never Enough

Dear IA75

Could you have Bloodrayne talk to my wife.

Signed
Never Enough......no really....once a week sucks:mad:

[bloodrayne]

Originally posted by BudMan
Signed
Never Enough......no really....once a week sucks:mad: Ouch!...And I been bitchin' about once a NIGHT :o ...Poor you...



Jeez...What do you guys do in bed?...SLEEP?


I guess I just have a hard time imagining laying next to someone in bed (on the floor, outside on the ground, etcetera) and not climbing on top of 'em...

[AUSTIN316426808]

Originally posted by ItsAlive75


So all I can say is, let's wait and see, hopefully football doesn't decide to be a group of idiots.


Looks like I made the mistake of thinking it was Saturday earlier. Instead of the deadline being tomorrow, it was tonight obviously and it did indeed end with a ''group of idiots'' fighting over money.


Ya never know, this no cap thing might turn out ok. It's not like it's a new thing, it's worked before.

[Zero]

Originally posted by bloodrayne
I don't really see a problem with that...Being a cheapskate, I love 2 for 1 deals, myself :)


Dear IA,

I have been recently informed that I am a nymphomaniac....What I want to know is...Is there a cure?...and...Would more sex help in any way?:D

I would also like to know.....If I am indeed a nymphomaniac, is this REALLY a problem?

Signed,
Never Enough

but when do you find time to cuddle?



:eek:

[scaryminda15]

Dear IA,

i was wondering about something very interesting. why dont we feel the world moving is it because we got used to it since we were born or is there some life out there helping us?

your friend,

minda.

[Zero]

Originally posted by scaryminda15
Dear IA,

i was wondering about something very interesting. why dont we feel the world moving is it because we got used to it since we were born or is there some life out there helping us?

your friend,

minda.

i think it depends on who you are with . . . most of the women i've been with say they felt the earth move!!!:D

[scaryminda15]

lol thanks for the pointer.

[stubbornforgey]

Originally posted by Zero
i think it depends on who you are with . . . most of the women i've been with say they felt the earth move!!!:D

oh boi...hahahahahahaha

Dear IA,
where the hell is timbuktoo ??

[sarahanne]

Dear IA:

Am pretty new at posting here....have more of a question for you:

(This is something I have always wondered about)

What do you think really happens when people dissapear in the Bermuda Triangle??? Are they captured, or is it such a utopia that noone wants to come back?????:)

[The STE]

they go off to a magical land where people post things in the right fucking thread, instead of making new ones.


here:
http://www.horror.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=20586

you dumb fuck

[sarahanne]

I just tried to write an apology...I realized right after I posted that I was doing it wrong. Don't take offense, please...just a mistake.

[Angelakillsluts]

Maybe her original post got lost in the bermuda triangle and ending up here instead of IA's thread. Ever think of that, huh smart guy? :p

[sarahanne]

Sorry about this, guys. I am new and still fairly retarted...meant to post in another thread (obviously). Thanks for yo

[sarahanne]

Sorry about this, guys. I am new and still fairly retarted...meant to post in another thread (obviously). Thanks for your patients with retarted new people (IE: See above post) :D

[Angelakillsluts]

Originally posted by sarahanne
Sorry about this, guys. I am new and still fairly retarted...meant to post in another thread (obviously). Thanks for yo

Don't worry, dumb fuck is a term of endearment around here.

[The STE]

Originally posted by Angelakillsluts
Don't worry, dumb fuck is a term of endearment around here.

no it isn't, she's just trying to make you feel better.

[Angelakillsluts]

ok, you got me.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by BudMan
Dear IA75

I seem to have a split personality....sometimes i just don't know who i am.....help me please....its driving me crazy.




Thank you.

newb......er...i mean BudMan.

Try to convince your other half to commit suicide.

[sarahanne]

LOL

Suppose I've been called worse;)

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by bloodrayne
Dear IA,

I have been recently informed that I am a nymphomaniac....What I want to know is...Is there a cure?...and...Would more sex help in any way?:D

I would also like to know.....If I am indeed a nymphomaniac, is this REALLY a problem?

Signed,
Never Enough

The only cure for nymphomania is more sex. You need to overload on sex to the point where it's unenjoyable... like eating a lot of cheeseburgers every day for a month.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by BudMan
Dear IA75

Could you have Bloodrayne talk to my wife.

Signed
Never Enough......no really....once a week sucks:mad:

If you're talking about what I THINK you're talking about, another woman is not going to be able to get your woman to want you sexually...

I think you need booze and a stack of money.

[sarahanne]

Dear IA:

Am pretty new at posting here....have more of a question for you:

(This is something I have always wondered about)

What do you think really happens when people dissapear in the Bermuda Triangle??? Are they captured, or is it such a utopia that noone wants to come back?????

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by scaryminda15
Dear IA,

i was wondering about something very interesting. why dont we feel the world moving is it because we got used to it since we were born or is there some life out there helping us?

your friend,

minda.

The Earth is extremely large and moves very slowly, there would be no way for us to feel it. It's like a fly inside of a car; why doesn't the fly move to the back of the car when it moves forward?

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by stubbornforgey
oh boi...hahahahahahaha

Dear IA,
where the hell is timbuktoo ??

I think it's somewhere north of Kookamunga.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by sarahanne
Dear IA:

Am pretty new at posting here....have more of a question for you:

(This is something I have always wondered about)

What do you think really happens when people dissapear in the Bermuda Triangle??? Are they captured, or is it such a utopia that noone wants to come back?????

The inside of the Bermuda Triangle is in fact a portal to a specific place and time, in fact, the last place and time you can remember before entering it. If it's a good moment, you'll relive it forever. If it's a bad memory or one of regret, you're forced to repeat it.

[sarahanne]

Ahhh--

Good answer! I really want to go someday--I will keep in mind to think "happy thoughts" before entering. Thanks :)

[hammerfan]

Originally posted by ItsAlive75
I think it's somewhere north of Kookamunga.

I thought it was east of Bumfuck

[bloodrayne]

Originally posted by Zero
but when do you find time to cuddle?



:eek: Umm...C-u-d-d-l-e???....You mean like...slow, soft sex or something? :D :p

[Elvis_Christ]

Love me tender.....

[bloodrayne]

Originally posted by ItsAlive75
The only cure for nymphomania is more sex. You need to overload on sex to the point where it's unenjoyableThank you SOO much...I'll be sure to pass this most valuable information along

[bloodrayne]

Originally posted by ItsAlive75
If you're talking about what I THINK you're talking about, another woman is not going to be able to get your woman to want you sexually...

I think you need booze and a stack of money. Heh...But...You're ruling out the possibility of negotiating a threesome :D :p

[The STE]

Originally posted by bloodrayne
Umm...C-u-d-d-l-e???....You mean like...slow, soft sex or something? :D :p

"Cuddle" is Gaelic for elbow. I'll let you draw your own conclusions

[bloodrayne]

Originally posted by The STE
"Cuddle" is Gaelic for elbow. I'll let you draw your own conclusions Ewww...That's just weird...Zero is obviously a much bigger freak than I am :o


That's okay though Zero...You just do your monkey thang, Babe:D

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by bloodrayne
Heh...But...You're ruling out the possibility of negotiating a threesome :D :p

Knowing Zero, I'm sure he'd be left out.:D

[bloodrayne]

Originally posted by ItsAlive75
Knowing Zero, I'm sure he'd be left out.:D Aww...I really feel bad for him...How can we convince him that he's funny AND fun?...That cunt really fucked his poor wittle monkey head

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by bloodrayne
Aww...I really feel bad for him...How can we convince him that he's funny AND fun?...That cunt really fucked his poor wittle monkey head

We could make a "pity Zero" thread... it would at least be something new.

[Zero]

Originally posted by ItsAlive75
We could make a "pity Zero" thread... it would at least be something new.


hmm, i sort of figured every thread was a 'pity zero' thread . . . depressive narcissism is a horrible condition


*sob*
*sob*

I guess *sob* the only thing that might make me feel any better might be that threesome that Rayne was proposing . . . but only if I get to use my elbow

:D

[Zombee]

DEAR A-I,

So I am in Denver, CO for some work training and the air is sooooo dry here, how do I moisten myself without looking greasy?

Signed Chapped Lips

[stubbornforgey]

Originally posted by Zero
hmm, i sort of figured every thread was a 'pity zero' thread . . . depressive narcissism is a horrible condition


*sob*
*sob*

I guess *sob* the only thing that might make me feel any better might be that threesome that Rayne was proposing . . . but only if I get to use my elbow

:D

dear IA...
em that new person again..you don't me ..
oh..I forgot what my question was now..
due to the 'elbow remark'

[Haunted]

Dear IA,
Everytime I fuck my exboyfriend he farts in the middle a few minutes before climax. That can't be my fault can it?

Signed,
Tired of fucking a skunk.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Zombee
DEAR A-I,

So I am in Denver, CO for some work training and the air is sooooo dry here, how do I moisten myself without looking greasy?

Signed Chapped Lips

There are bottles of honey in the shape of bears you can buy. Many singers who scream a lot pour honey down their throats to keep them lubricated and moist. I suggest doing the same to your lips and cheeks.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Haunted
Dear IA,
Everytime I fuck my exboyfriend he farts in the middle a few minutes before climax. That can't be my fault can it?

Signed,
Tired of fucking a skunk.

Your ex farting moments before climax is certainly not your fault. This is a scripted reaction he has during sex. Many people have scripts they follow, the most common being urinating immediately after sex. It's something the mind is trained to do, you should explain this to him. If he can be mentally aware of it, it might be possible to change it.

[newb]

Originally posted by Haunted
Dear IA,
Everytime I fuck my exboyfriend he farts in the middle a few minutes before climax. That can't be my fault can it?

Signed,
Tired of fucking a skunk.

If he's farting "in the middle a few minutes before climax" , that means the whole thing last only 6 minutes.

Dump the smelly premature ejaculating slob.

[scaryminda15]

IA ur a genious.

[Yellow Jacket]

Dear IA,

Why does Hollywood let Uwe Boll make movies?

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Yellow Jacket
Dear IA,

Why does Hollywood let Uwe Boll make movies?

Well, aren't they all idiots?

[Yellow Jacket]

Originally posted by ItsAlive75
Well, aren't they all idiots?

Well, I thought you were the all-knowing, but I guess a question on your behalf. Yes, yes they are.

Dear IA,

Am I on a Highway to Hell?

[Haunted]

Thanks, YJ, you asshole, now I have that song in my head.:D

Dear IA,
What's the difference between a deep deep sexual attraction that is very pervasive, and a possible budding of love? How can I stop this pervasive sexual lust, to nurture the budding love, even though nurturing the budding love is completely stupid in the first place?

[Yellow Jacket]

Originally posted by Haunted
Thanks, YJ, you asshole, now I have that song in my head.:D

You're welcome! :D