Posher778
02-11-2006, 05:59 PM
hmm, i was bored.
The horror movie survival guide is a guide to help you survive being in a horror movie type situation. This guide was inspired by the scream trilogy.
Chapter 1: Phone Calls ( a little) , fighting a killer, finishing a killer, killering a killer, checking the children.
If a person calls you with a strange, spooky voice, listen to what they have to say. If the killer says, "have you checked the children?" leave the house as fast as you can. Don't get in a car, don't run into the woods. don't scream for help, and whatever you do, don't make a ton of noise, so basically, don't scream.. again. stay on a road or path, acting as if you yourself were the strange person, and think, "what must he be thinking and doing to get me right now", staying as quiet and careful as possible, until you get to a populated area. if you're in the middle of nowhere, then keep walking. if you're in a desert, just bash your head into a cactus until you die, because hardly anyone ever gets out of a desert alive in a horror movie. By the way... if you have a car that starts, you could've used that one, after checking the backseat first. if your car EVER stalls, don't be stupid and try it. you will be heard, and the person will find you. call the cops if you can, or get to a police station. don't be a dumbass, most cops don't even get the bad guy. he's going to find you and come after you, and you're going to have to deal with it. keep a couple guns on you at all times, and dammit keep them loaded, because you'll run out of bullets. the hero ALWAYS runs out of bullets, so bring extra ammo with you. chainsaws are great choices for survival, as they are scary and loud. and a killer would never suspect that you would be dumb enough to run rambo into combat with him with an active chainsaw, especially if your one of the pg13 girl stars we see today... so do it. and stop trying to just "wound" him. kick his fuckin ass. he's not going to go away, or leave you alone, so don't beg. that shows weakness. go down fighting, and if you can't slice his ass with the chainsaw then try the guns i told you to bring. shoot him in the head. they never die. if you manage to "kill" them, they arent dead. load another clip into his FACE. If you have yourself a sequel killer ( meaning they come back multiple times for you), take him out again, chop off his hands, feet, knees, upper legs, head, elbows arms... EVERYTHING, and have his individual body parts placed in secure places all around the earth, so he can NOT come back. you may get attacked by a killer foot or something sometime... so be alert. and you might want to get someone to check the children or something, and yes i realize that this chapter ended up having almost NOTHING to do with phone calls. deal with it.
Chapter 2 next post
The horror movie survival guide is a guide to help you survive being in a horror movie type situation. This guide was inspired by the scream trilogy.
Chapter 1: Phone Calls ( a little) , fighting a killer, finishing a killer, killering a killer, checking the children.
If a person calls you with a strange, spooky voice, listen to what they have to say. If the killer says, "have you checked the children?" leave the house as fast as you can. Don't get in a car, don't run into the woods. don't scream for help, and whatever you do, don't make a ton of noise, so basically, don't scream.. again. stay on a road or path, acting as if you yourself were the strange person, and think, "what must he be thinking and doing to get me right now", staying as quiet and careful as possible, until you get to a populated area. if you're in the middle of nowhere, then keep walking. if you're in a desert, just bash your head into a cactus until you die, because hardly anyone ever gets out of a desert alive in a horror movie. By the way... if you have a car that starts, you could've used that one, after checking the backseat first. if your car EVER stalls, don't be stupid and try it. you will be heard, and the person will find you. call the cops if you can, or get to a police station. don't be a dumbass, most cops don't even get the bad guy. he's going to find you and come after you, and you're going to have to deal with it. keep a couple guns on you at all times, and dammit keep them loaded, because you'll run out of bullets. the hero ALWAYS runs out of bullets, so bring extra ammo with you. chainsaws are great choices for survival, as they are scary and loud. and a killer would never suspect that you would be dumb enough to run rambo into combat with him with an active chainsaw, especially if your one of the pg13 girl stars we see today... so do it. and stop trying to just "wound" him. kick his fuckin ass. he's not going to go away, or leave you alone, so don't beg. that shows weakness. go down fighting, and if you can't slice his ass with the chainsaw then try the guns i told you to bring. shoot him in the head. they never die. if you manage to "kill" them, they arent dead. load another clip into his FACE. If you have yourself a sequel killer ( meaning they come back multiple times for you), take him out again, chop off his hands, feet, knees, upper legs, head, elbows arms... EVERYTHING, and have his individual body parts placed in secure places all around the earth, so he can NOT come back. you may get attacked by a killer foot or something sometime... so be alert. and you might want to get someone to check the children or something, and yes i realize that this chapter ended up having almost NOTHING to do with phone calls. deal with it.
Chapter 2 next post