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bloodrayne
01-14-2006, 08:22 AM
Vampire Seeks Governor's Job

Minneapolis, Minnesota - Minnesota voters, who eight years ago elected a former professional wrestler as their governor, may find a self-proclaimed vampire on the ballot for the office this year.

"Politics is a cut-throat business," said Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey, who said he plans to announce his bid for governor on Friday on the ticket of the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party.

Like Jesse "The Body" Ventura, who was elected governor as an independent in 1998, the 41-year-old Sharkey once was a wrestler, although he spent his time "The Unholiest of Kings: Tarantula" on obscure professional circuits.

He claims to respect all religions and if elected, will post "everything from the Ten Commandments to the Wicca Reed" in government buildings.

Sharkey also pledged to execute convicted murders and child molesters personally by impaling them on a wooden pole outside the state capitol.

Sharkey told the Minneapolis Star Tribune that he's a vampire "just like you see in the movies and TV."

The field for the governor's race in Minnesota is far from complete. Republican incumbent Tim Pawlenty is widely expected to seek another term in November and his Democratic opponent has not been determined.

Sharkey said he planned to announce his candidacy on Friday -- the 13th -- because that was "my lucky number."

Zero
01-14-2006, 08:25 AM
as long as he's not gay


(sad isn't it)

Taom
01-15-2006, 04:54 PM
If I lived in the state I'd vote for him just to mess with the system. That and I'd love to say convicted child molesters impaled instead of romaing the streets where they could come into contact with my child, or any others.

Yellow Jacket
01-16-2006, 12:02 PM
You either listen to the man or he'll suck your blood. Well, he'll suck your blood anyway, but still listen to him. He might give you free porn. You never know.

I'd vote for him!

ItsAlive75
01-16-2006, 05:18 PM
Originally posted by Yellow Jacket
He might give you free porn. You never know.

He might ride a motorcycle into a group of nuns. What's your point?

scaryminda15
01-17-2006, 04:25 AM
it might be interesting, the vampire might start a big group of mass distruction and complete chaos sounds cool to me!

Yellow Jacket
01-18-2006, 01:34 PM
Originally posted by ItsAlive75
He might ride a motorcycle into a group of nuns. What's your point?

I'm just saying that you should give the man a chance. If he calls himself a vampire and is running for governor, you never know what kind of fun shit he'll do.