Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

[ShankS]

Tenor: There's a song that I recall my mother sang to me,

Spriggs: (Sighs.)

Tenor: She sang it as she tucked me in when I was ninety-three.

Spriggs: I-diddle-di. [Spoken] Who was that bum?

Bluebottle and Spriggs: Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po,
Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po
(Bluebottle has dropped behind.)

Spriggs: [Spoken] Keep fired up. Keep up!

Bluebottle: [Spoken] Keep up lad.

Both: Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle I po, lad!

Both: Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle I po!

Bluebottle: Lad, po lad,

Spriggs: Yiddle i po,

Both: Ying tong, ying tong,

Spriggs: Yiddle,

Bluebottle: Ying tong, ying tong,

Both: Ying tong yiddle i po, ying tong, ying tong yiddle.

Bluebottle: [Spoken] Ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po (raspberry).

Spriggs: Oh!

Both: Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle I po,
Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po, yiddle I po!
(Frantic trumpeting followed by three huge drumbeats.)

Bluebottle: Yiiiing, ying tongy tongy, ying tong yiddle I po, ying tong yiddle i po.

Secombe: What a lovely melody divine!

Bluebottle: Yi-i-ing, ying tongy tongy,

Milligan: Get off the record, sir!

Bluebottle: Yiiiing, ying tong, ying tong yiddy, po,

Milligan: Get away!

Bluebottle: Dig-dig-diggun, dig-dig-digga, ying tong yiddle I po.

Seagoon: Hear that crazy rhythm, driving me insane,
strike your partner on the bonce (thump),

Eccles: Ooh! I felt no pain.

Seagoon: (Screeches.)

Seagoon, Bluebottle and Eccles: Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying.

Soprano: Take me back to Vienna... (melodic raspberries)

Bloodnok: Ohhh!

Eccles: Ooh!

Soprano: Take me back to Vienna, where the... (ceiling collapses)

Seagoon, Spriggs and Bluebottle: [Distant] ...tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po,
Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po.
(They all dash forward.)
Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong iddle I po,

Spriggs: Where's he going, lad?

Bluebottle: I don't know...

Seagoon, Spriggs and Bluebottle: Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po.

Seagoon: LOOK OUT!

Bluebottle> Ey!
(They all dash back into the distance.)

Seagoon, Spriggs and Bluebottle: [Hurriedly] Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong iddle I po,
Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po.
(They all dash forward again.)
Ying tong...
(Bomb falls and explodes.)

All: [Pinky-and-Perky style]
Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po,
Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po, yiddle i po,
Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po,
Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po, yiddle i po.
Yiiiing, tongy tongy tongy, yiddy diddy diddy da doh, ying diddy,
Ying tong diddle, yiddledy boo,
(Thigh-slapping followed by a raspberry)
Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle, ying tong yiddle i po,
Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po, yiddle i po, oh!

[Angra]

Eeeerh... do you want fries with that?

[stubbornforgey]

Originally posted by Angra
Eeeerh... do you want fries with that?
och nay..
tis a luv'lee diddle poo shanty thar'

[ShankS]

In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.

[ShankS]

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

[BudMan]

http://www.clanscottsociety.org/images/underkilt.JPG

[scouse mac]

Is this stuff from The Goons?

[mothermold]

Originally posted by BudMan
http://www.clanscottsociety.org/images/underkilt.JPG


goddamnit that's fucked up.

[RavageRitual]

but its funny as hell!:D

[mothermold]

Originally posted by RavageRitual
but its funny as hell!:D

indeed it is.:D

[wood_elf_pansy]

lol @ tooshy!!!:)

[wood_elf_pansy]

well, when you have four younger sisters and two younger brothers and a daughter you're bound to call it that sometime.

[ShankS]

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

[ShankS]

There are holes in the sky
Where the rain gets in,
But they're ever so small
That's why the rain is thin.

[Angra]

Shanks, have you ever been mistaken for a weirdo? :D

[ShankS]

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected

[mothermold]

Originally posted by ShankS
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected

i just live for these little nuggets of wisdom.:)

[ShankS]

Said Hamlet to Ophelia,
I'll draw a sketch of thee,
What kind of pencil shall I use?
2B or not 2B?