Disease - re-edited

[SKOOFx]

A while back, i posted a short story i wrote while at work.

After seing all these spammers posting their writing, i figured i would go back, touch up my lil tale and then re post it for those who havent read it.

Its VERY short(so its definitly A.D.D freindly).

Enjoy.

(Im not looking to be a writer or anything, i just felt it writing it at the time- i do like writing though)

PS- please do not look at my posts as a "preview" to my writing style/"skills".

When i post, i post.
When i write ..i write.

2 different thing. I dont give a shit about proper grammer or spelling on posts.

PPS- anybody know any good magazines to submit this to?

http://www.angelfire.com/ny2/SKOOF/Disease.pdf

[SKOOFx]

I'm a daily regular here.

Somebody throw me a freakin bone and read it...lol jk

[MoonLit Meadow]

Honestly, it made me uncomfortable ;)...I don't know...the whole violence against women thing or something...the subject matter, about the thoughts of rape, etc...and I definately don't think that YOU think that way...I'm perfectly aware it's just a charachter. I just get really uncomfortable watching/reading anything that has to do with that subject...I get that way watching/reading anything that has to do with torture as well...probably why I never went to see "SAW" ;) So honestly, it's more the subject matter that didn't sit well with me...it has nothing to do with your talent as a writer.

You have alot of potential....you definately know how to use imagery to get your point across! I liked the style it was written in as well...dark, gothic...for some reason it reminds me of Poe :) I'd be interested in reading other stories of yours.

[SKOOFx]

Thanks moon,

Yeah, dont get me wrong. None of that is a reflection of myself as a person.

Ive been reading alot of dark literature lately. So one day at work, i sat down and tried to see what i could come up with.


Im personally not "proud" of the content written; its more of an attempt at high "shock value".

But thank you for complimenting my writing technique. Its very appreciated.

xoxo

[scouse mac]

Wasn't this posted here somewhere before? Remember liking it the first time round and still do. Short but nicely disturbing, be nice to hear from our man after he's done the murder.

[SKOOFx]

Thats not a bad idea!!!

i should do a 1 page short story on his lil escapades every month or so.

[novakru]

Originally posted by SKOOFx
Thats not a bad idea!!!

i should do a 1 page short story on his lil escapades every month or so.

Like a series?
Cool,but maybe not so um,well....get more into the gory/macbre side of this story instead of the.....scary for females thing:D

[MoonLit Meadow]

Originally posted by SKOOFx
Thanks moon,

Yeah, dont get me wrong. None of that is a reflection of myself as a person.

Ive been reading alot of dark literature lately. So one day at work, i sat down and tried to see what i could come up with.


Im personally not "proud" of the content written; its more of an attempt at high "shock value".

But thank you for complimenting my writing technique. Its very appreciated.

xoxo

No problem. It was a VERY good attempt...almost TOO good...with all the imagery, etc ;) LOL!

You definately have the "shock value" thing down! :p I think it's really great stuff, and I agree that you should continue to write a new story every month or so...following the same charachter...it'd be cool to see what develops!:)

If I were you, I'd start sending this stuff out to the appropriate magazines...see if you can get something published...unfortunately, I personally don't know WHO to send it to :( But I think you're on to something.

[SKOOFx]

and i think your lovely and intelligent.

<bats eyelids>
lol


jk

thanks again.

[MoonLit Meadow]

Originally posted by SKOOFx
and i think your lovely and intelligent.

<bats eyelids>
lol


jk

thanks again.


LOL! NIIIIIIICE:p :)

You're very welcome.

[Zombee]

Good stuff Skoof.. Very descriptive I had a clear image of the scenario. And just as constructive criticism try and not use so many fifty cent words it sounds pretentious.

[SKOOFx]

^
im not sure if i understand your reply.

thanks for the comments. but the fifty cent part didnt click?

elaborate.

[MoonLit Meadow]

Originally posted by SKOOFx
^
im not sure if i understand your reply.

thanks for the comments. but the fifty cent part didnt click?

elaborate.

My best guess is that he means "big words"...?:confused: I think...:p

[ItsAlive75]

fifty-cent words... expression meaning expensive or overly elaborate words. Its what people do when they want to sound smart.

[SKOOFx]

Cant say it applies here.

Although the thesaurus was used twice, I dont think thats too much.

But thanks for the input . appreciated.

EDIT:

no no, it was used more.
but not as much as one would think.

What can i say, i like using "big words".;)

[sabersword]

Disturbing dude.

[scouse mac]

Still waiting for part two skoof. Dont want to rush the creative juices but hoping you would do a follow up.

[sarahanne]

I did like this story. (The scary women stuff is a bit creepy, but I don't mind it so much, as it is only a story). You are very creative and a very intelligent writer. I do not mind the use of "big" words. It makes me want to look up the words and expand my own vocabulary. Looking very forward to your next installment.

[SKOOFx]

wow, you guys are AWESOME.

I never bothered on a new installment, cause i figured nobody gives a shit.



If this is the case, maybe i really will bust out a new short story each month.

So you guys think i should continue with this character?

maybe dig into his past via flashbacks?

and develop his character/"adventures" more?

[sarahanne]

definetly!

[scouse mac]

Originally posted by SKOOFx
wow, you guys are AWESOME.

I never bothered on a new installment, cause i figured nobody gives a shit.



If this is the case, maybe i really will bust out a new short story each month.

So you guys think i should continue with this character?

maybe dig into his past via flashbacks?

and develop his character/"adventures" more?

I reckon so, think i said before seeing the boy after the murder, seeing how his psychology changes after he has sated his murderous needs, would be good. Its your baby though so evolve it anyway you want just dont leave us hanging!

No pressure! ;)