View Full Version : What do you think?
Spallalala
11-15-2005, 02:00 AM
My friend has just told me he is about to spend $1000's on gifts for his gf ( who doesn't even live in the same country).
He doesn't work and gets payments for his disablity (ADD).
When I asked him about why he would do it , he just wants to impress her. He thinks its all about buying expensive items to hold his relationship together.
Im just wondering if there is anyone else that spends stupid amounts to impress there partner?
I know if cheebs ever did that I would be pissed off at him haha. Im not into expensive tacky shit. Yuckkers I say.
I would rather us go out to a restaurant and check out some interesting styles of food. That way we both benefit from it.
cheebacheeba
11-15-2005, 02:46 AM
Yeah...well, you know me...I shun all things considered remotely "romantic".
I've never felt the need to do ANYTHING that special in order to strengthen, and/or hold onto a relationship, especially not when it comes to showering with gifts.
Sure, the occasional "date" kinda thing, anniversary celebration, birthday and christmas presents...I'll do that, but fuck no, I'm not gonna run out and spend shitloads on like little ornaments and jewelry, especially the more expensive kinds...gold? YECH!
I say that if you can't just be yourself, and know that you're accepted for who you are, not what you can throw at your partner, then what you have isn't really worthwile in the first place.
Oh yeah, and...I think he's pathetic too haha...
stubbornforgey
11-15-2005, 03:39 AM
I totally agree lala.
My wedding ring consists of a round piece of steel from one of his gaming dvds..
it means more to me that any diamond cluster , gold carat expensive jewellery ever.
Its telling me that he includes me in something he cherishes very dearly...
My birthday presents are usually something cheap ..same as my xmas presents.
We dont go all extravagant when it comes to gift buying..we know and we remind eachother everyday just how much we are
in love.Our biggest and most treasured gift to eachother are our children.:D
We will have been together 18 years next june :D
no mulier
11-15-2005, 04:00 AM
I'm neither big on giving or receiving extravagant gifts. It really is the thought that counts. Love involves two people who share this bond which is not manifested in anything external.
But people, let's not easily overlook the simple fact that theirs is a long-distance relationship, which rather complicates things.
Have they ever met in person?
Do they communicate regularly over the phone? internet?
It's obviously difficult for them to merely "show how much in love" they are when there's distance to consider. Far be it from me to condemn the guy for his decision. What I can critique is the degree of creativity by which he decides what trinkets to give.
For example, how far apart are they?
Would the amount he is ready to spend cover a trip to visit and spend the day with her? That's a finer idea in my opinion.
That it's a romantic thought is simply...a welcome bonus.
kpropain
11-15-2005, 04:00 AM
Wait .....ADD is considered a disability over there???????????????
no mulier
11-15-2005, 04:20 AM
You seem very surprised.
Haunted
11-15-2005, 04:54 AM
I could get disability here, but I'm not gonna. I think it would turn me into a schlep. I don't want to be a schlep.
Jewellery...
I love getting it, especially if it's occult jewellery. For my engagement I want a big fat ruby and a pieces of ice on both sides. Anniversary: earings to match.
I'm not trying to be materialistic, although I've probably just failed miserably. The fact is that I'll probably never get married, and if I did, I'd have to love this guy so much that a sizeable mood ring would light up my world. See, 'cause loving someone enough for me to marry them, would take a lot. A whole whole lot
AUSTIN316426808
11-15-2005, 05:44 AM
Originally posted by Spallalala
Im just wondering if there is anyone else that spends stupid amounts to impress there partner?
No, for the exact reason you mentioned, it's stupid. I buy expensive gifts every now and then but not to impress just because I feel like doing something nice or for a special occassion.
meetthecreeper
11-15-2005, 05:54 AM
I have no use for expensive or extravagant items. I buy most of my clothes at army surplus, wal-mart and or thrift stores.
I own 3 pieces of jewelry.
One pentacle which I never take off. 2 rings which I only take off at work.
I dont give expensive gifts either. What I can give a woman, you cant put a value on. It only matters to who is receiving it.
PR3SSUR3
11-15-2005, 06:22 AM
Without buying my woman the 58 carat necklace she insisted on, I wouldn't be having such great anal sex.
Go figure.
:cool:
Haunted
11-15-2005, 06:44 AM
Goddess, how I suck. I'm the only person that responded "Yes" to the whole jewellery thing. BUT AS I SAID, if I ever love a man enough to marry him (doubtful), I'd be satisfied with mood ring or one of those rings out of a cracker-jack box.
What if we buy our own jewellery? Is that insulting to the man?
For instance, Creeper, if I were your wife (lucky duck that she is) would you be offended if I came home with the above said giant ruby with ice on either side? I mean, finacially, I'd hope you'd get a little pissed, but would you be glum in telling yourself, "You know, I should have bought her that, because everyone's going to ask about it, and I don't want to look like a chode."
I don't know, I'm not a guy. However, if I had a girlfriend (which isn't an impossibility) I would lavish her with gifts, because that's the kind of person I am.
PR3SSUR3
11-15-2005, 06:48 AM
Hey!
I didn't know you said "lucky duck" in America.
:)
novakru
11-15-2005, 08:10 AM
Are you kidding me???
IF I had the money,I'd buy the whole town for my husband!
But it really wouldn't be for the bling bling factor or trying to impress him...just cause I luv em and I would be showing him in a very materialistic way how much I appreciate him working his ass off to have a nice life for me and the kiddos.
pinkfloyd45769
11-15-2005, 09:47 AM
I love jewelry, especially gold! It doesnt have to be expensive, just has to be gold, even my belly ring!:D
ItsAlive75
11-15-2005, 09:51 AM
Nothin wrong with buying something expensive for someone you love purely on the grounds that you love them. A high price tag means you love the person enough to waste hard earned dollars on em'.
stubbornforgey
11-15-2005, 09:54 AM
I forgot to mention my other piece of jewellery.
A bone carving that i wear religously around my neck that my husband made out of the roast dinner we had to celebrate our 10th anniversary.
Its held in place by one of his boot laces .
Thats romance right there.
He has our daughters 'i love you daddy' pictures all ..and i mean allllllllllllllll over the bedroom wall.
LOL...his proposal was ..'well????do you wanna???.For him i buy everything that has to do with the computer,games etc..hard drives..rams or just work our budget out so that he can upgrade every 3 years or so.
scouse mac
11-15-2005, 11:41 AM
Ive always found that I enjoy giving expensive presents more than my girlfriend enjoys receiving them. She sometimes feels uncomfortable wearing this stuff in case she loses it!
pinkfloyd45769
11-15-2005, 11:52 AM
I still say i loooovvvvveeeee it:p I have spent a pretty penny on belly rings:D But, you should'nt do it to show someone how much you love them, they should already know!
Originally posted by pinkfloyd45769
I still say i loooovvvvveeeee it:p I have spent a pretty penny on belly rings:D But, you should'nt do it to show someone how much you love them, they should already know!
i'm not sure i've ever loved anyone enough to pierce my belly button - - - i just don't have that kind of love in me
pinkfloyd45769
11-15-2005, 12:10 PM
Originally posted by Zero
i'm not sure i've ever loved anyone enough to pierce my belly button - - - i just don't have that kind of love in me HaHaHa!!! I mean someone shouldnt buy someone else expensive things to show them that they love them!!!!!:D
Originally posted by pinkfloyd45769
HaHaHa!!! I mean someone shouldnt buy someone else expensive things to show them that they love them!!!!!:D
oh . .. now she tells me (damn, my belly button hurts!!)
meetthecreeper
11-15-2005, 12:43 PM
Originally posted by Haunted
For instance, Creeper, if I were your wife (lucky duck that she is) would you be offended if I came home with the above said giant ruby with ice on either side? I mean, finacially, I'd hope you'd get a little pissed, but would you be glum in telling yourself, "You know, I should have bought her that, because everyone's going to ask about it, and I don't want to look like a chode."
If you were my wife (hypothetically speaking:D ) I would bring the stars down from the sky for you to wear on your finger.
Best things in life are free. When I was wooing my lady I had little money so I had to improvise.
Roadside flowers, bubble gum machine jewelry, sneaking into theaters, back alley dinners ala Lady and the Tramp. That kind of thing.
Why do we need a holiday to show the ones we love and care for that we do???
pinkfloyd45769
11-15-2005, 01:01 PM
Originally posted by Zero
oh . .. now she tells me (damn, my belly button hurts!!) Sorry:( Keep putting the ointment on!;)
Originally posted by trippin_the_rif
Awwwwwww, isnt Zero sweet. He pierced his belly for pink.:p
I am sweet (of course - I'm also in pain - ouch ouch ouchie)
p.s. - and I still have a cold - ahhchoo
Haunted
11-15-2005, 01:36 PM
I'm always looking for the perfect pentacle. I'm wearing the official "Priestess pentacle" because I'm an ordained Priestess. However, it's just not showy enough. Not flashy enough.
I want something that says, "Look at my giant austentatiously decorated silver pentacle. I AM afterall a WITCH."
That's dumb isn't it? Ah who cares, you only live a trillion times.
stubbornforgey
11-15-2005, 01:49 PM
i like your improvision 'methecreeper'
thats the sort of thing that touches my heart everytime.Nice simplisitic things..for one birthday i got a flower from the neighbours garden..
my partners not rich..but his parents are well off..we refused thier money even though there are times that all our hard work seems for nothing..
paid on a thursday..broke the friday...but we are happy..our children can have the world at thier asking but we have bought them up to beleive that everything treasured ..is everything earned.
cheebacheeba
11-15-2005, 02:00 PM
It doesnt have to be expensive, just has to be gold That's a slight contradiction, no?
If I was gonna spring for ANYTHING like that, I'd personally go with either a dull silver, or white gold, both IMO far more beautiful.
Nothin wrong with buying something expensive for someone you love purely on the grounds that you love them.
True, true...but when it's done so frequently that it becomes the basis of a relationship, I can't help but think there'd be som kind of underlying issue...kinda like the couples who insist on being allover eachother everytime they're out and about...why? Seems like they feel the need to prove something...it's like "yeah, we GET that you're going out...go finger her at home" bleurgh.
I guess what I'm saying is, a gesture here and there, sure...but moderation, as always, should be the key. I don't think one should spend beyond their means in order to woo their mate.
Roadside flowers, bubble gum machine jewelry, sneaking into theaters, back alley dinners ala Lady and the Tramp. That kind of thing.
Not QUITE my style...but I know what you're talking about, you can always go with what you've got, and it's about the person, and the intent, not dollar value...I've bought my lady things she likes here and there, silver moonstone rings, statuettes, GOOD chocolate...etc...as it turns out, we'd both prefer a new knife, or a good bag of coffee, dvds...etc than blowing all of our cash on some trinket that has little more value than monetary...we're more into stuff that we can share. Maybe that's just something that comes with being in a long term relationship, I dunno...but I can't recall EVER really goin' nuts...nowadays, if either of us want something expensive-like, we'll just tell the other, and work out a budget....if one of us gets something like that, the other one will next time. Not that there's no love goin' on, we'll still do nice stuff for eachother...just the whole spending like crazy thing, we tend to look and laugh.
ItsAlive75
11-15-2005, 02:46 PM
Originally posted by cheebacheeba
True, true...but when it's done so frequently that it becomes the basis of a relationship, I can't help but think there'd be som kind of underlying issue...kinda like the couples who insist on being allover eachother everytime they're out and about...why? Seems like they feel the need to prove something...it's like "yeah, we GET that you're going out...go finger her at home" bleurgh.
I guess what I'm saying is, a gesture here and there, sure...but moderation, as always, should be the key. I don't think one should spend beyond their means in order to woo their mate.
Also true. I guess we can agree that buying expensive things, much like eating eggs, should be done with some limitations.
Spallalala
11-15-2005, 03:12 PM
Originally posted by no mulier
But people, let's not easily overlook the simple fact that theirs is a long-distance relationship, which rather complicates things.
Have they ever met in person?
Do they communicate regularly over the phone? internet?
It's obviously difficult for them to merely "show how much in love" they are when there's distance to consider. Far be it from me to condemn the guy for his decision. What I can critique is the degree of creativity by which he decides what trinkets to give.
For example, how far apart are they?
Would the amount he is ready to spend cover a trip to visit and spend the day with her? That's a finer idea in my opinion.
That it's a romantic thought is simply...a welcome bonus.
They have met in person. They have had a online relationship for about a year now and yeah only met a few weeks back. He is in Sydney Australia and she is in New Zealand somewhere. So there not that far away from eachother. They talk to each other every single day. He rings, she rings, they talk on the net.
She is heading to Sydney in March to live here with him, but he still insists on buying very expenisive things for her ( a belly ring $180 aud and he seems to think he can find a diamond ring for under $300aud. Who is he kidding ) hahahhaha
As for the romantic thing, im not into it myself and probably wont be.
I would agree with the roadside flowers, just because they would be flowers you wouldn't get in a store. They would be much cooler and far better looking in the way of colour anyway.
And yeah, I dont think I have found any cheap "gold" unless its fake haha.
White gold is gorg, but still dont want it cos its too shiney.
I have silver sleepers in my ears , 1 dark silver ring and 1 dar silver bracelet. Thats all I wanna stick with. ( well yknow another ring or 2 would be cool , something crazy ).
LOL...his proposal was ..'well????do you wanna???.For him i buy everything that has to do with the computer,games etc..hard drives..rams or just work our budget out so that he can upgrade every 3 years or so.
hahaha.. Hmm. Where have I heard that before? :D
You seem to be like us in many ways stubborn haha. I like you girl. :P
Hey Haunted. You should get a massive one like the following guy. But instead of the clock yknow, have a pentacle.
hahahhaha. Just a idea. I mean that would let people know who ya are right?
stubbornforgey
11-15-2005, 05:13 PM
yeah..i like you too girl :)