Zero
10-19-2005, 01:24 PM
OK - this is probably an old topic but worth a revisit!
What annoys me about dvd/vhs covers are the often utterly deceptive images on the cover. I can't count the number of utterly wretched films I've rented based on the awesome looking cover art. So, here are my top five rules to avoid being deceived by cover art:
1) It its drawn - it sucks. Simply, anything with an illustration of either a) big busty babe, or b) horrific slathering creature will have neither but, instead, be filled with stagehand wearing styrofoam-headed-zipper suits and skanky strippers.
2) Anything that advertises itself as "From the Producers of. .. ." look - if ain't the same director then its just the putz who wrote the checks.
3) Half-naked chicks staring at some power-tool . . . look, if you want that kind of movie just go behind the little curtain to that, uhm, secret room where they'll give you all the nakedness and powertools you can ask for.
4) Any cover that has the Endorsement Quotation in huge letters - like "MORE TERRIFYING THAN PSYCHO" but the attribution for the quote in teeny-tiny print - which is usually something like "The girlfriend of the guy who rigged the lights."
And, 5), anything that has the name Dino DeLaurentis. . . let's face it - Dino = bad.
What annoys me about dvd/vhs covers are the often utterly deceptive images on the cover. I can't count the number of utterly wretched films I've rented based on the awesome looking cover art. So, here are my top five rules to avoid being deceived by cover art:
1) It its drawn - it sucks. Simply, anything with an illustration of either a) big busty babe, or b) horrific slathering creature will have neither but, instead, be filled with stagehand wearing styrofoam-headed-zipper suits and skanky strippers.
2) Anything that advertises itself as "From the Producers of. .. ." look - if ain't the same director then its just the putz who wrote the checks.
3) Half-naked chicks staring at some power-tool . . . look, if you want that kind of movie just go behind the little curtain to that, uhm, secret room where they'll give you all the nakedness and powertools you can ask for.
4) Any cover that has the Endorsement Quotation in huge letters - like "MORE TERRIFYING THAN PSYCHO" but the attribution for the quote in teeny-tiny print - which is usually something like "The girlfriend of the guy who rigged the lights."
And, 5), anything that has the name Dino DeLaurentis. . . let's face it - Dino = bad.