crazy raplh
10-16-2005, 08:54 PM
The quotes below are complaints reported by clients of Room 111, a
public health clinic in St. Paul that treats people for sexually
transmitted diseases. Nurses at the clinic began creating the list
two decades ago; it now includes several hundred comments.
"I have reason to believe my penis was exposed to LSD. When I
ejaculate I have flashbacks."
"My hair is falling out and the sun hurts my crotch."
"I went to a party, had a few beers, woke up in a closet later on and
my face stunk and my dick hurt."
"My last period looked like meat."
"My balls feel soft and mushy."
"I be messin' with these nasty women from Minnesota and they don't
tell you they got something unless they mad at you."
"How am I supposed to do lap dances smelling like a dead fish?"
"I got the dripper."
"I have food chunks in my urine."
"Had sex with my daughter's fiancé and then douched with Lysol--
feelin' a little raw down there."
"Scabs on my butt and I'm losing my mind."
"I'm releasing semen when I take a crap."
"I was poked in the rectum with the infected finger of a 70-year-old
homosexual man."
"I live at the VA and my roommate has his girlfriend from Minneapolis
over. They throw ticks at me that bite my neck and when I pop the
sores, they smell like vagina juice."
"Can't you put the swab in further?"
"I had sex with my baby's momma, sex with my other baby's momma and
my other new baby's momma has disease."
"Last time I had sex I passed something that looked like Cream of
Wheat before it's cooked."
"My cervix hurts when I jiggle."
"The seam in my circumcision split open."
"I be messin' with my ex-wife and my girlfriend and I don't trust
either of them."
"My whole body smells like a menstruating woman, especially my
armpits."
"From the looks of my penis, I believe they are sucking the
adrenaline out of me."
"I think they hypnotized me and put implants and poltergeists in my
brain and had sex with me."
"I think my boyfriend knows what's going on. He's been calling me
a 'chlamydiahoris.'"
"My pee smells like ham."
public health clinic in St. Paul that treats people for sexually
transmitted diseases. Nurses at the clinic began creating the list
two decades ago; it now includes several hundred comments.
"I have reason to believe my penis was exposed to LSD. When I
ejaculate I have flashbacks."
"My hair is falling out and the sun hurts my crotch."
"I went to a party, had a few beers, woke up in a closet later on and
my face stunk and my dick hurt."
"My last period looked like meat."
"My balls feel soft and mushy."
"I be messin' with these nasty women from Minnesota and they don't
tell you they got something unless they mad at you."
"How am I supposed to do lap dances smelling like a dead fish?"
"I got the dripper."
"I have food chunks in my urine."
"Had sex with my daughter's fiancé and then douched with Lysol--
feelin' a little raw down there."
"Scabs on my butt and I'm losing my mind."
"I'm releasing semen when I take a crap."
"I was poked in the rectum with the infected finger of a 70-year-old
homosexual man."
"I live at the VA and my roommate has his girlfriend from Minneapolis
over. They throw ticks at me that bite my neck and when I pop the
sores, they smell like vagina juice."
"Can't you put the swab in further?"
"I had sex with my baby's momma, sex with my other baby's momma and
my other new baby's momma has disease."
"Last time I had sex I passed something that looked like Cream of
Wheat before it's cooked."
"My cervix hurts when I jiggle."
"The seam in my circumcision split open."
"I be messin' with my ex-wife and my girlfriend and I don't trust
either of them."
"My whole body smells like a menstruating woman, especially my
armpits."
"From the looks of my penis, I believe they are sucking the
adrenaline out of me."
"I think they hypnotized me and put implants and poltergeists in my
brain and had sex with me."
"I think my boyfriend knows what's going on. He's been calling me
a 'chlamydiahoris.'"
"My pee smells like ham."