jasoniw
09-16-2005, 01:04 PM
Hey guys! I'm a student, from the UK and i'm planning to make a horror movie. I've been making films for around 4 years now, and really wanted to tackle the Horror genre!!!
Anyway, i've come up with a synopsis. Now before you rip it apart, it's not meant to be completly original, it is kind of homage to earlier films, especially the video nasties and 80's/early 90's slasher films!
Anyway, the synopsis is REALLY long, more like a short story! lol. But have a read and tell me what you think. You can either reply to this thread, or e-mail me on [email protected]
I'd appreciate any thoughts on what you think should happen, what should i take out, what you liked and what you didnt!!!! hehe!
Anyway - ENJOY!!!!!!
Storyline (in depth)
The film opens with a girl in a room. She is tied up and gagged. She is obviously in a lot of pain. Tears fall down her face and arguing can be heard off screen. She tries to untie the rope binding her hangs together behind her back. She succeeds and rips the gag off. She can hear the arguing getting louder as the door handle is pressed down. She panics and ties herself back up as she was before, but notices an industrial steam cleaner (like an iron) and switches it on.
The door swings open, and a tall, bulky man stands in the doorway. "you are dirty. dirty. dirty. dirty." as he creeps forward, the girl pretends to be scared, and as he turns away to grab a bottle of bleach, she picks up the steamer and forces it into his chest. Steam clouds the room and she runs out.
We are now at a rave party in an abandoned building. There are around 50/60 kids all dancing in unison with glow sticks and lasers cutting through the smoky atmosphere. We centre in on a couple dancing. They talk about going off to somewhere quieter. They explore some of the corridors around the abandoned building, and find a small room, obviously a cell. They close the door.
A group of teenagers (Alex, Kate, Tina, Greg, Josh and Hannah) are driving along a deserted road. They are arguing over directions to the rave and are sure they are lost. They take a turning and head towards a house where they plan to ask for directions. They knock on the door and a nice, respectable looking old lady answers (This is �Bleach�s� mother, as we will find out later). She invites them in, but Josh and Hannah decide to wait in the car.
Inside the house is really clean. No mess, no clutter. Only the bare essentials. The kids sit down, but get shouted at by the women and told to stand. "Must keep everything clean, pardon me, just dusted. Tea for everyone, good!". She hobbles into the kitchen. The kids discuss how strange everything is. Greg notices a photo on the mantelpiece and heads over to it. In the process he walks over a white rug. He leaves dirty footsteps.
Just as he goes to pick up the photo, the women walks back in and drops the tray of tea she was carrying. She goes mental at Greg for making a mess and chucks them out. She tells them to �run, drive as fast as they can.�
Outside, the car is silent, and no lights are on. As they near, they discover that Josh and Hannah are no longer there. They joke about it, saying they have gone into the woods to fuck, but then, one of them hears some music coming from the other side of the woods. They conclude that they must of gone without them, and get into the car and speed off. The creepy lady pushes a curtain aside and shakes her head.
At the rave, people are really enjoying themselves. The hectic atmosphere of the rave is intercut with running fast through a forest. It�s the girl from the start, and she is covered in blood and panicking loads.
After a minute or so montage of these two narratives, she arrives at the rave. She fights her way through the crowd. People are giving her weird looks. Someone shouts 'nice costume' etc. She reaches the DJ decks and turns the music off. Immediately, people start booing. Over the microphone she shouts "he's coming. he's coming." Two bulky guys grab her by the arms and drag her off screaming. They throw her outside the club and tell her not to come back in.
Inside the cell, the two people from earlier are heavily petting, breathing heavily, feeling etc. They hear a door creak outside. The guy stops, and peers through the door. No one is around. They joke about it, and kiss again. As the do, they hear the sound again. The girl pulls her top up and storms outside. No one is there again. We cut back to the guy who is doing up his trousers. He finally gets up and looks outside. The girl is gone. He shouts her name - and creeps out the door slowly. He tells her not to joke with him. As he walks along the corridor, he pulls each of the doors to the cells open.
As he reaches the penultimate door, he hesitates, then pulls it wide open. In front of him is his girlfriend, knelt down and crying hysterically. Held up to her throat is a Stanley knife and stood behind her is Bleach. Bleach slowly draws the blade across the girl�s throat and blood sprays out.
The guy stumbles backwards and bangs into a wall. He gasps and we notice he has just impaled himself on a metal spike coming out of the wall. Blood drips from his mouth. He does not die though. He feebly cries for mercy as Bleach slowly moves towards him. From a bag that Bleach is dragging along the floor he produces a large butcher�s knife. He raises it up and brings it down the guy�s genital region. Before he strikes we cut to:
The car pulls up outside the main entrance to the rave. The kids get out and are excited they have finally found the place. As they approach the entrance, the �bouncers� that previously dragged the other girl outside stand in the way. Kate tries to call someone inside the rave, but has no luck � no reception. The kids notice someone passed out on the floor, a coat covering them. They point and laugh, saying that �she must have had a good night�! Although we cut to a CU and know that it�s the girl who escaped lying dead, on the floor.
One of the kids approaches the bouncers and whispers something, and motion for the others to follow them in. Inside the rave is going well, people dancing and enjoying themselves. The kids split up, Greg and Tina go to dance while the other two wander off to try and find people they know.
They find three friends (Tom, John and Kirsty) and drag them off to the toilets to talk. They ask if they have seen Josh and Hannah, but they have not. A little suspicion enters their minds.
We are now with the two bouncers. They are chatting about the girls they would most like to sleep with. Out of the darkness a big built person comes into sight. The bouncers take their positions. The guys is moving slowly and dragging a heavy looking bag behind him.
The bouncers shout at him to get lost, but he doesn�t stop. We see a reflection from the guy�s hand, it�s a knife. The bouncers approach as if to stop him, but he slits one of their throats and pushes one over, stabbing him in the back. Bleach continues, as if nothing has happened into the rave.
The group of kids are still talking in the bathroom. They decide to go and look for Josh and Hannah. Tom suggests ringing them, but Kate tells them there is no reception. They wander down a corridor until they get to some stairs.
After a bit of arguing over who will go with who, they split up and Tom, John and Kirsty explore the bottom floor, while Kate and Alex take the top floor. We follow Tom, John and Kirsty looking round the bottom.
They find a big abandoned hall and decide to look inside. They have a look round nothing of great interest, but decide to keep going – they find a basement, and decide to go inside.
We now cut to the couple upstairs. They are walking down the corridor with all the cells that we have seen before. They talk about what they used to do to people in mental institutes and then they remember a legend of the cleaner who didn’t want to leave. They talk about that, but are interrupted by a low groaning sound. They panic and quickly look in each cell. Approaching the second to last cell they notice a trail of blood from the wall to the cell. They approach with caution.
Inside the cell, the guy is huddled over his dead girlfriend. The guy turns round, and gasps for help. He tells them that there is a madman and he cut off his… The guy dies and rolls over. His genital region is covered in blood. It is obvious what Bleach cut off.
In the rave, everyone is having fun. Greg and Tina are wondering where the others are.
Outside, a car pulls up and two people get out. As we track out, we find it is two policemen. They notice the two dead bouncers and the girl and run inside. The Raver’s start to notice the police and begin to scatter, the police reach the DJ box and turn the records off. They announce that murders have been committed but to stay put. Everyone does. Suddenly, Bleach appears behind the police and stabs one of them, the other; he holds by the throat and pours bleach down his throat. They both collapse. By this point, the Raver’s have gone crazy and are all screaming and running out.
Greg and Tina do not know what to do. They can’t simply leave their friends behind. They slip away down a small corridor. As they are running, they hear the screams of the two upstairs.
Please view the next thread for the rest!
Anyway, i've come up with a synopsis. Now before you rip it apart, it's not meant to be completly original, it is kind of homage to earlier films, especially the video nasties and 80's/early 90's slasher films!
Anyway, the synopsis is REALLY long, more like a short story! lol. But have a read and tell me what you think. You can either reply to this thread, or e-mail me on [email protected]
I'd appreciate any thoughts on what you think should happen, what should i take out, what you liked and what you didnt!!!! hehe!
Anyway - ENJOY!!!!!!
Storyline (in depth)
The film opens with a girl in a room. She is tied up and gagged. She is obviously in a lot of pain. Tears fall down her face and arguing can be heard off screen. She tries to untie the rope binding her hangs together behind her back. She succeeds and rips the gag off. She can hear the arguing getting louder as the door handle is pressed down. She panics and ties herself back up as she was before, but notices an industrial steam cleaner (like an iron) and switches it on.
The door swings open, and a tall, bulky man stands in the doorway. "you are dirty. dirty. dirty. dirty." as he creeps forward, the girl pretends to be scared, and as he turns away to grab a bottle of bleach, she picks up the steamer and forces it into his chest. Steam clouds the room and she runs out.
We are now at a rave party in an abandoned building. There are around 50/60 kids all dancing in unison with glow sticks and lasers cutting through the smoky atmosphere. We centre in on a couple dancing. They talk about going off to somewhere quieter. They explore some of the corridors around the abandoned building, and find a small room, obviously a cell. They close the door.
A group of teenagers (Alex, Kate, Tina, Greg, Josh and Hannah) are driving along a deserted road. They are arguing over directions to the rave and are sure they are lost. They take a turning and head towards a house where they plan to ask for directions. They knock on the door and a nice, respectable looking old lady answers (This is �Bleach�s� mother, as we will find out later). She invites them in, but Josh and Hannah decide to wait in the car.
Inside the house is really clean. No mess, no clutter. Only the bare essentials. The kids sit down, but get shouted at by the women and told to stand. "Must keep everything clean, pardon me, just dusted. Tea for everyone, good!". She hobbles into the kitchen. The kids discuss how strange everything is. Greg notices a photo on the mantelpiece and heads over to it. In the process he walks over a white rug. He leaves dirty footsteps.
Just as he goes to pick up the photo, the women walks back in and drops the tray of tea she was carrying. She goes mental at Greg for making a mess and chucks them out. She tells them to �run, drive as fast as they can.�
Outside, the car is silent, and no lights are on. As they near, they discover that Josh and Hannah are no longer there. They joke about it, saying they have gone into the woods to fuck, but then, one of them hears some music coming from the other side of the woods. They conclude that they must of gone without them, and get into the car and speed off. The creepy lady pushes a curtain aside and shakes her head.
At the rave, people are really enjoying themselves. The hectic atmosphere of the rave is intercut with running fast through a forest. It�s the girl from the start, and she is covered in blood and panicking loads.
After a minute or so montage of these two narratives, she arrives at the rave. She fights her way through the crowd. People are giving her weird looks. Someone shouts 'nice costume' etc. She reaches the DJ decks and turns the music off. Immediately, people start booing. Over the microphone she shouts "he's coming. he's coming." Two bulky guys grab her by the arms and drag her off screaming. They throw her outside the club and tell her not to come back in.
Inside the cell, the two people from earlier are heavily petting, breathing heavily, feeling etc. They hear a door creak outside. The guy stops, and peers through the door. No one is around. They joke about it, and kiss again. As the do, they hear the sound again. The girl pulls her top up and storms outside. No one is there again. We cut back to the guy who is doing up his trousers. He finally gets up and looks outside. The girl is gone. He shouts her name - and creeps out the door slowly. He tells her not to joke with him. As he walks along the corridor, he pulls each of the doors to the cells open.
As he reaches the penultimate door, he hesitates, then pulls it wide open. In front of him is his girlfriend, knelt down and crying hysterically. Held up to her throat is a Stanley knife and stood behind her is Bleach. Bleach slowly draws the blade across the girl�s throat and blood sprays out.
The guy stumbles backwards and bangs into a wall. He gasps and we notice he has just impaled himself on a metal spike coming out of the wall. Blood drips from his mouth. He does not die though. He feebly cries for mercy as Bleach slowly moves towards him. From a bag that Bleach is dragging along the floor he produces a large butcher�s knife. He raises it up and brings it down the guy�s genital region. Before he strikes we cut to:
The car pulls up outside the main entrance to the rave. The kids get out and are excited they have finally found the place. As they approach the entrance, the �bouncers� that previously dragged the other girl outside stand in the way. Kate tries to call someone inside the rave, but has no luck � no reception. The kids notice someone passed out on the floor, a coat covering them. They point and laugh, saying that �she must have had a good night�! Although we cut to a CU and know that it�s the girl who escaped lying dead, on the floor.
One of the kids approaches the bouncers and whispers something, and motion for the others to follow them in. Inside the rave is going well, people dancing and enjoying themselves. The kids split up, Greg and Tina go to dance while the other two wander off to try and find people they know.
They find three friends (Tom, John and Kirsty) and drag them off to the toilets to talk. They ask if they have seen Josh and Hannah, but they have not. A little suspicion enters their minds.
We are now with the two bouncers. They are chatting about the girls they would most like to sleep with. Out of the darkness a big built person comes into sight. The bouncers take their positions. The guys is moving slowly and dragging a heavy looking bag behind him.
The bouncers shout at him to get lost, but he doesn�t stop. We see a reflection from the guy�s hand, it�s a knife. The bouncers approach as if to stop him, but he slits one of their throats and pushes one over, stabbing him in the back. Bleach continues, as if nothing has happened into the rave.
The group of kids are still talking in the bathroom. They decide to go and look for Josh and Hannah. Tom suggests ringing them, but Kate tells them there is no reception. They wander down a corridor until they get to some stairs.
After a bit of arguing over who will go with who, they split up and Tom, John and Kirsty explore the bottom floor, while Kate and Alex take the top floor. We follow Tom, John and Kirsty looking round the bottom.
They find a big abandoned hall and decide to look inside. They have a look round nothing of great interest, but decide to keep going – they find a basement, and decide to go inside.
We now cut to the couple upstairs. They are walking down the corridor with all the cells that we have seen before. They talk about what they used to do to people in mental institutes and then they remember a legend of the cleaner who didn’t want to leave. They talk about that, but are interrupted by a low groaning sound. They panic and quickly look in each cell. Approaching the second to last cell they notice a trail of blood from the wall to the cell. They approach with caution.
Inside the cell, the guy is huddled over his dead girlfriend. The guy turns round, and gasps for help. He tells them that there is a madman and he cut off his… The guy dies and rolls over. His genital region is covered in blood. It is obvious what Bleach cut off.
In the rave, everyone is having fun. Greg and Tina are wondering where the others are.
Outside, a car pulls up and two people get out. As we track out, we find it is two policemen. They notice the two dead bouncers and the girl and run inside. The Raver’s start to notice the police and begin to scatter, the police reach the DJ box and turn the records off. They announce that murders have been committed but to stay put. Everyone does. Suddenly, Bleach appears behind the police and stabs one of them, the other; he holds by the throat and pours bleach down his throat. They both collapse. By this point, the Raver’s have gone crazy and are all screaming and running out.
Greg and Tina do not know what to do. They can’t simply leave their friends behind. They slip away down a small corridor. As they are running, they hear the screams of the two upstairs.
Please view the next thread for the rest!